her honour 2. Equity as agreeable to the Law of God of Nature and to the Gospel Q. What meanes those words In the Lord A. It implyes 1. A limitation 2. A direction And 3. A motive Q. What is the limitation A. A Wife must submit and obey but in the Lord that is in lawful things Q. What is the Direction A. To do all her duties to her Husband with an eye to the Lord as unto Christ Eph. 5.22 Q. How is it a Motive A. 1. In doing her duty to her husband she does it to Christ and he takes it so 2. In refusing or neglecting it to him she does the same to Christ Chapter 7. The Duties of Husbands to their Wives Col. 3.19 Husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them Q. WHat are the parts of this Text A. Two 1. The Duty of an husband To love his wife 2. The manner of performance with mildnesse expressed by forbidding the contrary and be not bitter to them Q. Why doth the Apostle comprehend the whole duty of the husband in love Eph. 5.25 28 33. A. 1. Otherwise no duty can be well performed from one to another 1 Cor. 16.14 2 The Wife is the chiefest object of love above friends châ—â—de parents must leave all for her as she all for him therefore must love her most Deut. 13.6 wife or his bosome 3 Least his Superiority and Authority over her should degenerate into Tyranny 4 She the weaker Sexe and apt to offend but love will cover all 5 To provoke her to love him because he first loves her as Christ the Church Q. What particular duties of the Husband do proceed from Love 1 Pet. 3.7 According to knowledge A. Two 1. A wife maintaining of his Authority 2. A right managing of the same Q. Why must an Husband maintaine his Authority A. 1. This maintaines Gods and Christs Authority who entrust him with it 2. This most promotes the good of his wife and the whole family Q. How may he maintaine his authority A. By being an example to them in Love Gravity Piety Honesty which cause a reverent respect in Wife and Family 1 Tim. 4.2 Q. How is this authority to be managed A. 1. By a tender respect of her 2. By a provident care for her Q. What is that tender respect of her A. It is either inward or outward Q. Wherein consists his inward respect A. 1. In regard of his Opinion of her 2. In regard of his affection to her Q. What opinion must he have of her A. 1. In regard of her place 1 Pet. 3.7 Giving honour to her he must esteeme her not as a servant but as his yoke-fellow and companion a little lower then himselfe as neerest to equality 2. In regard of her person so he must esteeme his own wife fittest and best for him as provided by God Prov. 19.14 and 18.22 Q. What affection must he bear to her A. It must be with the greatest delight in her as the delight of his eyes as Ezek. 24.19 ravisht modestly with her love Prov. 5.18 19. Q. Wherein appears his outward respect A. 1. In avoiding offences to her 2. In wisely ordering her offences to him Q. How may he avoid offences to her A. 1. In taking her duty tendered to him 2. In tendering his own to her Q. What is to be done in taking hers A. 1. A kind acceptation of it as Abraham did Sarahs Gen. 21.8 1 Sam. 1.23 2. Commending and rewarding her for it as Prov. 31.28 31. Esth 5.3 1 Kin. 1.28 c. Q. How must he tender his duty to her to avoid offences A. In mildnesse a special fruit of love which the Apostle intends in these words Be not bitter to them which is expressed 1 In his speeches whether giving her Titles as Wife Love c. or instrutions commands or reproofes all with meeknesse Gal. 6.1 Prov. 25.15 2 In his countenance which must be amiable and pleasing 3 In his gestures with a kind of modest familiarity as Isaac to Rebecca Gen. 26.8 4 In his Actions by favours and gifts as 1 Sam. 1.4 5. Elkanah did to his Q. What is required in ordering her offences to him A. To passâ— them by with meekenesse and patiently to bear with her weaknesse Pâ—ov 19.11 1 Pet. 3 7. Q. Wherein appears his provident care for her A. 1. In providing things needful for her as her Head 1 Sam. 1.3 4 7. and 2.19 both for her soul in privaâ—e and publick meanes of her edification and also for her body both in health and sicknesse especially in the time of child-bearing and this not onely in his life time but after death 1 Kin. 1.21 setling a comfortable and suitable maintenance on her 2. In protecting her from danger in her person and name 1 Sam. 27.3 and 30.18 Q. What motives have Husbands to love their Wives and do all these duties to them A. Beside the command of God these two 1. The example of Christ in loving his Church and therein themselves if godly Eph. 5.25 Now Christ loveth first 1 Joh. 4.19 Indeed and in truth giving himselfe for it Eph. 5.26 Freely Deut. 7.7 8. Purely to sanctifie it v. 27. Constantly Joh. 13.1 Hos 2.19 so may they 2. The example of ones selfe Eph. 5.28 29 A wife is himselfe they are one flesh FINIS
become first Husband and Wife then Parents to children and with that Masters of servants which are all the Relations of a Family The principal care must be to chuse fit Materialls for the building which how well and how far it may be done is delivered in the Sermon hereto anneved to which I refer the Reader 2. For a Family already Constituted but corrupted and needing Reformation the same course must be taken as in Reforming a corrupted Church For as there Preaching and Catechising and all wayes of Instruction are first to be used by the Minister the chiefe Officer thereof and after that the practice of that knowledge wrought must be pressed by Admonition Reproofe Exhortation And lastly if these proceedings prove ineffectual the exercise of Discipline and Censures upon wilfull and stubborn offenders Just so it ought to be in a Family as it is also a little more largely directed in the Sermon following to which I refer But we are to speak now onely to the first of those three how the chiefe Housholder may lay that foundation of Reformation in his Family which is by Knowing and Teaching them under his charge the true knowledge of those Duties belonging to the several Relations of a Family as afore To which purpose I would commend if they have not better the reading and practicing in all good conscience and sincerity of the Sermon following as far as it concerns themselves in their single double or threefold Relation viz. as Husbands to Wives as Parents to chidren as Masters to servants And then to Teach the rest of the family their correlates wives children servants their particular duties according to their relations respectively But when their children or seroants are to be transplanted either for the constituting a new family as Husbands or Wives or for the furnishing of another family as servants then to aquaint them with and make them understand the duties of their new Relations before they come to practice them To which end the little short Catechisme's fitted for each Relation will much conduce if they be taught explained wisely by the chieife Housholder and impressed on them by his own Example in the performance of his duties in all his owne relations The Benefit of teaching and whetting on of these prineiples conscientiously will be exceeding great For 1. By this meanes Housholders themselves may come to see repent of and amend their own miscarriages not onely when they were children or servants but also their present neglects of their duties as Husbands Parents Masters which they must performe as they expect that their correlates should be good serviceable to them or Gods blessing upon both 2 By the knowledge they may get by teaching others they may not onely learn their own Duties in all their Relations but also be able to call upon their Inferiours to do their Duties and to exact them of them when they goe astray 3. This if they have any conscience or care to please God may serve to make them the more carefull to performe their own Duties in all their Relations because now their Inferiours will be able to discover their failings having learned their Duties in such Relations when God shall call them to them 4. This way they may fit and prepare their children and servants to be Materials of new Families as Husbands or Wives according to their Sexe to be Parents or Masters being already furnished with the knowledg of the Duties of those new Relations 5. And lastly make them Instrumentall and serviceable to the publick good as good Neighbours in Townes good Members of Churches good Subjects in the State and some of them good Officers in Church or State For that Rule of the Apostle here holds well He that cannot rule his own Family how shall he govern the Church or Common-wealth 1. Tim. 3.4 5. One thing more and I have done Because Duties will not easily goe down or be digested if they be not manifested to be imposed by Divine Authority I have following the Reverent Doctor herein backed the most of them by Texts of Scripture which held out either expresse Commands or eminent Examples of holy Saints the best comments upon commands or noted Extravagances of wicked men against the rule of the Word which in opening and explaining of the Answers are to be taken notice of and applied by the chief Housholder I need say no more to perswade the Governours of Families to set upon the exercise and practice of these Directions than what I have said in the Sermon I onely adde this short Ejaculation for them and theirs That the God of all grace would blesse and prosper them to the Glory of his Name the Honour of Religion the publick Good of Church and State and to the furthering of their comfort here and eternall Salvation and glory hereafter Amen FAMILY REFORMATION Promoted Joshua 24.15 But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. THere hath been of late all know much talke but God knowes more need of a general Reformation The foundations of Church State are out of course and unlesse God put under his hand very like to come to confusion The common mistake and mischief is that every man almost complains but few or none do help to amend what is amisse in themselves or others It were the readiest as first and chiefest way to reform all for every one to mend one that is himselfe For a Family being made up of single persons in several Relations Townes or Congregations of many Families and the whole Nation of Townes or Congregations if single persons were but as they should be and as in serious thoughts they acknowledge they ought to be that is Religiously good the whole body of Church or State must needs be so But it is not so easie a matter to reforme one man I meane to perswade him to reforme himselfe while some for ignorance cannot others for the Impetuousnesse of their lusts will not and others out of selfe-conceite think they need not Reforme unlesse there be some other Superiour and Superintendent power to do it we are not like in hast to see a Reformation There are therefore blessed be God some other means left us to effect this work First the Govornours of families Secondly Officers in the Church And thirdly Magistrates in the State If Governours of families would but reforme their own Relations the Church would have little use of her Discipline and the State lesse of Execution of Justice If on the other side Townes or Congregations be loose and profane the Nation consisting of them cannot be good or happy if Families be wicked and licentious Townes and Parishes consisting of them must needs be naught And if single persons be and in spight of houshold discipline will be vitious Families consisting of such must necessarily be bad and consequently all very bad The Reformation then of all should first begin with Single persons if they refuse the Housholder must undertake
the cure In his default the Officers of the Church must make supply by their discipline And in their neglect either the civil Magistrate must reforme both Church and Families and single persons or expect nothing but ruine and destruction of all Now seeing as was said it is not possible or not very probable for us Ministers to perswade every single person to a serious and through Reformation of himselfe It remaines to us in the second place to try how far we can prevaile with chief Housholders to act their part to make their Families good so all good who have both power in their hands and all good reason to move them thereunto as shall appear hereafter For this purpose I have chosen this text as a worthy Instance of an Exemplary Resolution in a great and good Housholder that renowned Joshua by name Who leaving others to their choice for himselfe and family undertakes to be Religious Doe you sayes he as you please chuse what Gods you will serve But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. Parts of the text In the words we may without much curiosity of Division consider these general parts 1. The Epitome of all Religion expressed in these words To serve the Lord which is the summe of both Tables of the Law especially of the first 2. Joshuahs Resolution to serve the Lord wherein we have three particulars 1. His appropriation of it to himselfe As for me I will serve the Lord. 2. The extension of his Religion to his family As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. 3. The Order of it First himselfe will be Religious and then his house I and my house c. 1. For the first The service of God to be the sum of all Religion 1 The Epitome of Religion it appears by those places of Scripture where true Religion is commanded Exod. 23 25. Ye shall serve the Lord your God To serve God Deut. 10.12 What doth the Lord thy God require of thee but to serve him with all thy heart and all thy soul How To keep the Commandements of the Lord c. That is all his Commandements of both Tables Some there are who distinguish Worship and Service making Worship the object of the first Table and Service of the second but without any ground of Scripture for that holds out Service as more general and including Worship as a more special part of Gods Service as is evident in the texts above cited and many more like unto them We may better distinguish the Service of God into Imediate which is properly called Worship in the fiâ—st Table and Mediate by men which is called Righteousnesse in the second Table for though we do not properly worship God by doing the works of righteousnesse yet are we said to serve God in doing to men the duties of the second Table As the Apostle sayes of servants That in obeying their Masters they serve the Lord Christ Col. 3.24 We note this because it will be of use anone 2 Joshua's Resolution 2. For the particulars of the second part Joshuahs resolution many things might be obseved but we shall wave them all and look at him onely as an Housholder with Relation to his family I and my house will serve the Lord and draw out this one Observation That it is the property Observation and duty of a good Housholder to provide and taks care that all under his charge doe serve the Lord that is be religious and righteous the one towards God the other towards men 1 Proved We shall first confirme it and then apply it confirme it 1. In general 1 In general by examples And here we have first the commended example of Abraham the father of the faithful by God himselfe Gen. 18.19 I know Abraham that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgement c. Which also he practised Gen. 14.14 where we heare of his trained or instructed catechised servants And Gen. 17.23 being entered into Covenant himselfe and circumcised he circumcised the same day Ishmael his sonne and all that were borne in his house Gen. 35.2 Jacob purgeth his family and bought with money This Family Religion or Reformation is graciously and couragiously resolved on by David Psal 101.2 c. I will behave my selfe wisely in a perfect way I will walke within my house with a perfect heart c. And marke his wisdom both in the constitution and ordering of his Family ver 3. I will set no wicked thing a thing of Belial the discription of a wicked person before mine eyes I hate the work of them that turn aside c. I will not know a wicked person ver 4. as if said None such shall come into my house He that worketh deceit shall not dwell in my house or if he doe unawares come in he that telleth lyes shall not tarry in my sight ver 7. Who then shall serve him he that will serve God with him Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the Land that they may dwell with me He that walketh in a perfect way as I resolved to do ver 2. he shall serve me Hence it is observable in the New Testament that as a proper consequence of the Housholders conversion when any such believed his Family believed with him Joh. 4.53 it s said of that Nobleman Himselfe believed and his whole house So Acts 16.15 Lydia was converted baptized and her houshold and ver 33. the Jaylor was baptized he and all his as if they had learn'd Joshuahs resolution As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. This for the general 2 Specially in two Respects 2. We shall look more specially and particularly at those Duties which concern the good Housholder to performe and practice and that with Respect either to his Relations or to the particular Services required in the Family 1 To the several Relations in the Family As 1. In respect to his several Relations in the Family which oftentimes if not alwayes are of three sorts 1. As anâ— Husband to a wife 2. As a Parent to children 3. As a Master to servants The same person may stand in this threefold Relation and in all these the Duty lies upon him to see that all under his charge do serve the Lord See the particulars 1. As an Husband to a Wife 1 As an Husband to a Wife And the Apostle hath instructed him in that 1 Pet. 3.7 Likewise ye Husbands dwell with them your wives according to knowledge c. That is being able and ready to instruct and guide them in the service and wayes of God This is implied also 1 Cor. 14.35 If wives will learn any thing let them ask their Husbands at home and ver 34. they are commanded obedience as also saith the Law which implyes he hath power to command them
be fitted to make good Masters 3. And prove themselves good servants to God and truly gracious Tit. 2.10 11. and adorne the Gospel and Religion Chapter 4. The Duties of Masters to their Servants Eph. 6.9 Masters do ye the same things to them forbearing threatning knowing that your Master also is in heaven Col. 4.1 Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equal knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven Q. WHat are the parts of these Texts A. Two 1. The duties in general Justice and Equity 2. The reason knowing that ye have a Master in heaven Q. What duties concern Masters A. 1. Care in chusing good servants as Psal 101. at large especially godly and religious 2. Conscience in using them well Q. Wherein doth this last consist A. 1. In a wise maintaining their authority as the authority of God 2. In a right managing of it Q. How may they maintaine wisely their Authority A. 1. By a good example and worthy carriage Josh 24.15 Psalm 101.1 2. 2. By an awful carriage that servants may stand in fear of them 3. By keeping a distance from them least familiarity breed contempt Prov. 30.22 29.21 Q. What is the extent of their Authority A. 1. In their commands restrained to the Laws of God and exercised in execution of Gods commands as Abraham Gen. 19. Levit. 25.43 2. In their corrections which must be moderate and discreet in consideration of the age sexe fault of the person c. Q. How may they manage rightly their Authority A. By Justice and Equity as the Text. Q. What doth Justice respect A. 1. The souls of their servants in their edification and salvation Josh 24.15 to serve the Lord by teaching them Principles of Religion bringing to publick worship calling them to account and praying with them and for them Jer. 10.25 2. Their bodies cherishing them with wholsome food fit apparel Pro. 31.21 Deut. 5.14 moderate labour convenient rest vales and in sicknesse physick needful Matth. 8 6. 3. Their estate that they may have a calling and that they may live of themselves Gen. 30.30 Q. What doth Equity require of them A. 1. A good esteem of them not as slaves but as children rather 2 Kin. 5.13 1 Cor. 7.22 2. Taking notice of their goodnesse with approbation and kind acceptance Matth. 25.21 Rom. 13.3 well done good servant 3. Rewarding the good when goe away as Deut. 15.13 Q. What motives are there to enforce these duties upon them A. 1. They have a Master over them and this will be a spure to incite them to their duty and a curb to do no wrong to them because he takes notice of both 2. Their Equality in regard of God ye also have a Master and so fellow-servants Math. 24 49. 3. In heaven servants are admitted there no respect of persons with God And yet there is far greater distance between God and them than betwen them and their servants Chapter 5. Of Marriage in general Heb. 13.4 Marriage is honourable among all c. Q. WHerein appears the honour of Marriage A. 1. In the Author God himselfe 2. In the place Paradise Gen. 2.18 21. c. 3. In the time in Innocency 4. In the persons the first Parents of all 5. In the manner consultation c. Q. What are required to Marriage A. 1. A right conjunction of man and woman 2. The common and mutual duties which concern them both alike 3. The particular duties of each party Q. Who are accounted Husband and Wife A. They who are rightly joyned together in marriage and of two made one flesh Q. Who are parties fit to marry A. They who having ripnesse of years and wisdom to chuse no way made impotent to marriage duties 1 Cor. 7.36 Q. Who are to be accounted impotent A. Born or made Eunuchs by any occasion Mat. 19.12 or dangerously diseased Q. May all sorts of person but such marry A. Yes all Heb. 13.4 1 Tim. 4.1 3. as the disease of Concupiscence is common to all 1 Cor. 7.2 9. Q. In choice of a person what is required A. Choice of a fit helper Gen. 2.18 Q. What makes a fit helper A. 1. One not within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity prohibited 2. Equality in Age Condition Estate and Piety Luk. 1.6 Q. How may a godly person be known A. 1. By their religious education and their answerable walking 2. By the report and fame with the good 3. By the lookes if modest and chast c. 4. By the speech if sparing and humble 5. By the Apparel 1 Pet. 3. 6. By the Companions like will to like Q. After what manner are fit persons to be joyned together A. 1. By a mutual liking of each other Gen 24.58 2. By an actual contract Gen. 19.14 18. Luk. 1.27 a promise of marriage in due time 3. By a publick solemnization of the marriage Q. What are the ends of marriage A. 1. To be fit helpers one of another 2. Propagation of an holy posterity 3. To avoid fornication 1 Cor. 7.2 Q. What are those mutual and commâ—n duties concerning both parties alike A. 1. Such as concern them between themselves 2. Joyntly with respect to others Q. What are the duties that concern them between themselves A. 1. Such as respect the very being of marriage 2. Or such as respect the well being of it Q. What are those mutual duties to one another which respâ—ct the being of marriage A. 1. Matrimonial unity accounting one another to be one flâ—sh and that without desertion of one another except in case of Death or Adultery Math. 1. Cor. 7.10 11. c. 2. Matrimonial chastity or faithfulnesse in the Covenant of marriage Mal. 2.14 15. Tit. 2.5 Q. What reasons are there for this chastity A. 1 It s one end of marriage 1 Cor. 7.2 2 It preserves an holy posterity Mal. 2.15 3 It s the honour of marriage Heb. 13.4 Q. What is the best remedy against unchastity A. The rendering mutually to each other due benevolence 1 Cor. 7.3 4 c. Q. What are those mutual duties which tend to the well being of marriage A. 1 Mutual love or entire affection one towards another Epp. 5. last Tit. 2.4 1 Cor. 16.14 This is the ground of all their duties 2 Mutual concord and. peace by unity of minds Eph. 4.3 avoiding contentions Pro. 21.9 Q. What are the best meanes to preserve love and peace between them A. 1. All offences must be carefuly prevented 2. If given by one not taken by the other forbearing one another Eph. 4.2 and forgiving v. 32. 3. Beware of jealousie or occasions of it 4. Study to please one another 1 Cor. 7.33 34. Q. What other common duties concern both A. In general a provident care for one anothers good Q. What are the means to promote that care A. 1. Cohabitation or dwelling together forsaking all others Psal 45.10 1 Cor. 7.12 1 Pet. 3.7 2. Prayers not onely singly
for one another but joyntly with one another or together Q. What must they pray for together A. 1. That they may be one spirit as one flesh 2. That this Ordiance may be sanctified to them 3. That if God please they may have children comely wise gracious and heires of salvation 4. A competency to bring them up 5. For graces wanting or weak in themselves Q. What good must they promote in each other A. 1. Of their soules 1 Cor. 7.16 1 Pet. 3.1 7 both for conversion and edification and if fallen restoring one another 1 Thes 5.11 Levit. 19.17 2. Of their bodies in health and in sicknesse as mutual helpers Gen. 27.14 3. Of their good name Matth. 1.19 Prov. 22.1 both preserving it and preventing ill reports 4. Of their goods or estate Prov 31 12. Q. What common duties concern them in regard of others A. They respect the Family or others Q. What concerns them joyntly to the Family A. A joynt government of it each to be helpful in overseeing the children servants and affairs thereof The Husband chiefly without doors the Wife within 1 Tim. 5.14 Prov. 31.11 c. Q. What Duties respect both in regard of strangers A. 1. An hospitable intertainment Gen. 18.6 7. c. 2. Relieving the poor Nehem. 8.10 Prov. 31.20 Thus farre the duties common to both the particular duties of each party follow Chapter 6. The Duties of Wives to their Husbands Col. 3.18 Wives submit your selves unto your own Husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Q. WHat are the parts of this Text A. Three 1. Their subjection commanded wives submit your selves to your husbands 2. The motive or reason of it As it is fit 3 The rule or direction in the Lord. Q. Why doth the Apostle begin first with Husbands and Wives A. 1 Bâ—cause man and wife were the first couple in the World before there were Parents and children or Masters and servants 2 Because they are the chiefe of the Family and rule of all the rest if they be not good husband and wife they will never be good Parents nor good Masters 3 Because if they neglect their duties to each other nothing goes well in the family the rest will be naught by their example Q. Why doth the Apostle in every Relation begin first with the Inferiour A. 1. Because inferiours are most unwilling to undergoe their burdens 2. To obey well is the best way to learn to rule well They prove best Superiours that are best Inferiours 3. It 's most for their own ease because as they are weakest so like to feele the smart of it Due obedience will move Superiours to be kinde to them Q. Why amongst Inferiours doth he first begin with Wives A. 1. To shew the wives inferiority to her husbands as children to Parents c. 2. Wives were the first on whom subjection waâ— laid as instrumental to sin 3. The wives example if good is very prevolent to the rest to do their duties 4. They most unwilling to yeeld subjection by reason of the little distance from and nearer Union with their Husbands Q. What is the maine duty of the Wife A. Subjection or submission to her husband Gen. 3.16 Q. Wherein doth that subjection consist A. In these two things 1. An acknowledgement of his Superiority over her 2. In her respect to him as her Superiour Q. How doth it appear that her Husband is her Superiour A. 1. God hath given it to him Gen. 3.16 2. Nature teaches it in the weakenesse of all Females 1 Pet. 3.7 The weaker vessel and so inferiour to the Males 3. His Titles imply superiority as Lord 1 Pet. 3.6 Guide Prov. 2.17 Head 1 Cor. 11.3 4. He represents Christ she the Church Eph. 5.23 5. Woman was made for the Man not the Man for the Woman Gen. 2.18 1 Cor. 11.8 9. Q. What reason is there of this acknowledgment A. Because this is the ground of all true subjection and obedience as to the Ordinance of God Q. Wherein stands her respect to him A. In two things Reverence and Obedience Q. What is her reverence to him A. Inward or outward Q. What is her inward Reverence A. An high esteeme of him for his place sake as her Lord and Head by the Ordinance of God which is called feare 1 Pet. 3.2 and Reverence Eph. 5. last a reverential feare Q. Whereby is that feare manifested A. 1 By her care to please him 1 Cor. 7.34 2 By her joy in pleasing him Pro. 31.12 3 By her grief in offending him Q. Whereby is her outward fear or reverence discovered A. By her behaviour and speech Q. What must her behaviour to him be A. 1 With gravity in a sober carriage 1 Tim. 3.11 2 Meeknesse or mildness in a cleare and amiable countenance 3 Courtesie on all occasions 4. Modesty in Apparrel fitting for his estate and place Q. How must she order her speech A. She must order it aright both in his presence and absence How in his presence A. 1. Her words must be few Contrary Pro. 7.19 rather with silence than much talking 1 Tim. 2.12 2. Reverent giving him his due Titles of Lord or Husband 1 Pet. 3.6 3. Meek from a quiet spirit 1 Pet. 3.4 2 Kin. 4.10 22. Q. How in his absence A. Speaking of him with all due respect as her Superiour Gen. 18 1â— Q. Wherein consists her obedience A. It is either Passive or Active Q. Whereby is her Passive obedience manifested A. In forbearing to dispose of the affairs of the family against his minde or without his consent Gen. 16.5 6. and 21.10 and 2 Kin. 4.10 22. Q. May the Wife do nothing without his consent A. Yes in three cases 1. In case of Impotency as when he is sick or distracted c. 2. Of impossibility when far absent 3. Of allowance manifested two wayes 1. Generally by resignation of all to her Prov. 31.10 11. 2. Particularly in some things expresly or by silence and connivence Q. How doth this appear her duty A. 1 by that Law Gen. 3.16 2 By example of the good Shunamite 2 Kings 4.9 3 From an Husbands power to make void her vowes Num. 30.7 13. Q. Wherein consists her Active obedience A. In obeying his commands and bearing his reproofes Q. Wherein appears her obedience to his commands A. 1 In cohabitation following him whether God by his providence calls him Gen. 31.16 1 Cor. 4.5 1 Pet. 3.7 2 Coming to him when sent for as Jacobs wives did Gen. 31.4 contra Esth 1.17 3 Doing what is required of her as Sarah Gen. 18.6 and Jeroboams wife 1 Kings 14 2. Q. How must she beare his Reproofes A. 1 If unjust yet with patience 2 If just though sharp with meeknesse Gen. 33.1 3 With readinesse to amend what was done amisse Gen. 35.2 4. Q. What reason gives the Apostle to enforce these duties A. Because it is fit to do so Q What meanes that fitnesse A. 1 Decency or comlinesse So it is
FAMILY REFORMATION PROMOTED IN A SERMON on Joshua Chap. 24. ver 15. AND By short Catechismes fitted for the Three-fold Relations in a Family Of 1. Children and Parents 2. Servants and Masters 3. Husband and Wife By D Cawdreys Preacher of the Word at Billing Magn. in Northmptonshire Gen. 18.19 I know Abraham that he will command his Children and his houshold after hm and they shall keep the way of the Lord c. 1 Tim. 5.8 But if any provide not for his own and specially those of his own House he hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an Infidel LONDON Printed by T. C. For John Wright at the Kings Head in the Old Baily 1656. The Preface to the Reader Christian Reader FOr the better understanding and easier practice of the following Treatise be pleased to take notice of these three things 1. The reason of my undertaking this work 2. The end or design I had in it 3. The use of it with the directions tending thereunto 1. For my undertaking this work I desire noâ— to assume or arrogate to my selfe any thing more than is mine own the Method and ordering of the several Questions Answers in the little Catechismes professing ingenuously the Materials thereof to be none of mine they were lent me first by my ever honoured Father Master Robert Cawdrey long since gone to his rest and glory in a Tract first written and published by him called A Godly Form of Houshold Government which found good acceptance and successe among the people of God But since his decease perused and augmented by those two pious famous Divines in this generation Master Dod and Mr. Cleaver In whom I have nothing to complain of in their publication of it but that they raised up seed to themselves and not to their deceased brother I meane for putting to their Booke their own Names concealing or at least obscuring the Name of the first Father of it onely putting the two first letters of his names R. C. which signifies nothing to a strange Reader But I shall as much commend them for their learned Additions and pious Augmentations to make that Discourse more full and compleat From that Book I say I borrowed the Materialls and after them from that Reverend Iudicious and godly Divine whose works and labours are famous in all the Churches and his Reward now with his God Dr. Gouge in his Tract of Domestical Duties Wherein they are more elaborately and largely handled but perhaps two largely for young ones to learne or remember and the Book too dear for many yea most poor housholders to buy I once during our sitting together in the assembly motioned the businesse to himselfe That hee would be pleased to extract that his larger discourse into some shorter questions and answers fitted both to the Capacity of younger people in a Family and to the Purses of the poorer sort who have most need of such Instructions His answer as I remembred was that he liked the motion well but wanted time and leasure to do it and withall not onely gave me leave but desired me to do what I thought to be most useful therein I had some thoughts divers years sence to have done it in his life time to have had his judgement and directions in it But other troubles and businesse hitherto diverted the execution of it I onely drew out some particulars for the use of my own people and family and some private friends Which being now perfected and methodized I present to the publick view together with a short Sermon of the Duty and Necessity of Family Reformation to perswade if possible the blessing of God accompanying it all Housholders to put the same in practice I doubt not but if all the aforesaid Authors were now living they would approve of this my undertaking as others yet alive have done That for the first 2. For the end or designe in it it was in general nothing but the Glory of God and the Good of Soules Families Townes Churches and the whole Nation in all these To the advancing whereof not onely my Holy Calling however now despised by ungodly men but my Resolutions of a long time have obliged me having devoted my selfe while I live which cannot now be long to the publick good which I believe may be much promoted by a conscientious use of the directions herein given for it is obvious to every observation that Families are the Seminaries of Towns Churches Countries and Nations and are as it were the Hives out of which do swarm the materials of greater assemblies if therefore they be not wel Principled therein all their Relations the rest must needs miscarry And here I observed was the true Original of all our Miscarriages and mischiefes abroad that when young people went out thence to constitute new families either as servante or by marriage they knew not the particular duties of their New Relations as Husbands and Wives as Parents and Children as Masters and Servants because for the most part they were never taught them in the Families from whence they were transplanted Remove a Crab-stock from a barren to a fruitfull soile it will still be a Crabstock without change of nature It is a certain Truth a thousand times exemplified That without speciall converting grace he or she shall never be good parents to their children that were not good children to their parents Nor they good Governours of servants that were not good servants to their Governours nor they good Husband or Wife in their own families that were not good in their former family Relations as children or servants Nor lastly will those who are naught in their Family Relations be good Neighbours in a Town good Members of a Church or good Subjects or Magistrates in the State A good man is the proper subject of the the goodnesse of all other Relations And he onely is a good man that is good in his first Relations The Spring then of all Reformation in Townes Churches Nations next to personal Reformation where every one mends one that is himselfe is that which is found in Families If they were but either well constituted or well ordered and reformed the whole work were done And that 's the Design of this Discourse and the second thing propounded to consideration 3. The third and last now onely remaines which is the Use and Directions how to improve this Treatise to the ends for which it was designed For the expediting whereof I shall have a respect First to the Constitution of a new Family and secondly to a Family already Constituted For as it is in Churches and the House is or should be a little Church they are considered either in their first Constitution or as already Constituted So it is in Families some Rules will fit the first Constitution of it and others the ordering of it when corrupted 1. If a Family be to be newly Constituted as commonly by the Marriage of single persons it is then they
but will much more extend to children and servants There is a kinde of Civil judicature erected in the Family a power to examine try censure punish and eject offenders Gen. 21.10 Cast out the Bondwoman with her sonne And this houshold discipline David resolves to exercise in his house Psal 101. either to keep out or cast out such as are wicked and incorrigible This of the second Reason 3. Every chief housholder hath Curam animarum 3. He hath the cure of souls the charge of the souls of his family not properly pastoral but very like it He must give an account of the soules of his Wife Children Servants as well as the Magistrate of the souls of his Subjects Ezek. 34.10 or the Minister of the soules of his people Ezek. 2.18 It concerns him therefore very nearely to endeavour to make them Religious which is the onely way to save their soules 4. His house is a lesser Church 4. Every Christians house should be a lesser Church as the Church is called the House of God Hence we read of a Church in a house Rom. 16.5 The Church which is in the house of Aquila and Priscila Philem. ver 2. The Church in thy house Whether it were because the Congregation did assemble in their houses having at that time no publick place of meeting or that in their houses there were enough to make a little Church as some limite the number at lest to seven or whether their houses were so ordered for Religion that they seemâ—d to be lesser Churches it is not material to inquire Of that famous Emperours house Constantine it is reported by Eusebius that the exercises of Religion were so ordered in it that it differed little from a Church There were Prayers morning and evening reading of the word Catechising Singing of Psalmes all but Sacraments and Preaching as in the Church And to use St. Chrysostomes words Where there are in a house Prayers and Singing of Psalmes Tom. 1. pag. 6.11 l. 19. c in Psal 41. and reading of the Prophets c. a man should not much mistake in calling such a meeting or assembly a Church And this service of God in the family he calls 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a good Liturgie worship of God And besides there is or should be exercised a Church-like Discipline even a lesser Excommunication of refractorie offenders as David professes he would deal with wicked proud deceitfull lying servants Psal 101. If by instruction admonition correction he could not reclaim them he would Excommunicate cast them out of the Church in his house This may suffice for confirmation of the point 2 Applied We now come to the Application of all by Uses and Inferences therefrom 1 To check the rashnesse of young people 1. To consider and bewaile the rashnesse of many young ones who rush upon Family Relations and never know or weigh how fit or unfit they are to discharge the Duties of those Relations They must be married forsooth in all the hast there 's one Relation then come children perhaps before the lawful time there 's another And then servants must be had to attend them and theirs that 's a third Relation but know not what the duties of any of those relations are nor the charge of those souls under their Inspection While a man is single he hath care almost of none but his own soul and much liberty to study how to serve and please God 1 Cor. 7.34 But when once he hath a family made up of these three relations his duties are multiplied with them and now he must take care of the Soules of wife children servants and yet scarce knows how to take care of his own soul Little do they consider that the chief housholder must be a Prophet to teach a Priest to pray with and for a King to rule his own family when they cannot teach pray or rule themselves Let this consideration check and coole the heat and heady rashnesse of younger people 2 It shews the iniquity of Toleration 2. This may serve to discover the iniquity of that so much cal'd for cursed Toleration of all Religions falsly called Liberty of Conscience The mischiefes of it are so many and so great that they cannot be aforehand imagined Besides the publick disturbance of the peace by different fractions and factions c. The natural or unnatural consequences of such a Toleration the divisions in families will be as many almost as there are persons and the wisest Housholder cannot possibly redresse it But the maine is this that it will prove impossible for the most pious Housholder to do his duty in making his Family Religious and to serve God with him in all his relations when as he hath no coercive power to resolve with Joshua I and my house will serve the Lord. Suppose which experience daily confirmes to be true The Housholder be a godly zealous Protestant his Wife an Independent the children Anabaptists some one or more of the servants Papists c. How is it possible the Superiour should unite all these into a Church in his house to serve God if a toleration for all Religions be granted Some will pretend they goe to serve God in their own way and assemblies and perhaps goe to serve the Devil in the Stewes or Taverne How shall the Housholder joyne with his family wife children servants in prayers reading hearing Sacraments sanctification of the Sabbath by all together which is charged upon him in the fourth Commandement when they not onely detest his way of serving God but his prayers reading Sabbaths c. and perhaps himselfe different affections commonly arising from differing opinions and judgements Let the wise consider it 3 Complaint of many Housholders 3. Here 's matter of just complaint of many of most Housholders who are discovered to be little Religious themselves by the profanenesse and loosnesse of their Family wives children servants In that place afore cited Deut. 6.6 7. its made a sign of a man that is godly and religious that hath Gods words in his heart that he endeavours to make his family such These words that I command thee shall be in thine heart And thou shalt teach them to thy children c. Contrarily ignorance of God and irreligion in their families are joyn'd together Jer. 10.25 and both of them Characters of a nation or family lying under the wrath of God and subject to his curse and destruction Pour out thy fury upon the Heathen that know thee not and upon the families that call not on thy Name Much complaining there is every where of the badnesse of servants children wives as if they were corrupted abroad when the truth is they are either corrupted or neglected at home for want of instruction or houshold discipline or good example of the chief and Head of the family This might be exemplified in all the Relations of the family and in all the Services of God
health Math. 7.9 19. Gen. 37.3 Zech. 8.5 Joh. 4.47 2. Nurturing them with good manners Prov. 22.6 Levit. 19.32 Prov. 25.6 Luk. 14.8 and in some honest Calling Gan. 4.2 and 37.12 Exod. 2.16 c. 2. At their spiritual good in admonition of the Lord Deut. 4.9 Gen. 18.19 Prov. 4.4 2 Tim. 1.5 In reading the word 2 Tim. 3.15 Catechising Deut. 6.7 and by an exemplary life Josh 22.15 Q. what are the meanes of Nurture A. 1. Frequent admonition to fasten their instructions Deut. 6.7 wheting them 2. Correction both in words of reproofe Prov. 6. 23. and 15.32 and in stripes if needful Prov. 22.15 and 23.13 14. Q. What duties do Parents owe to children at riper age past childhood A. 1. Provision of fit callings as afore 2. Provision of fit matches in marriage as Abraham and Isacc did for theirs both which require preparation of a Stock and Portion Q. What are the duties of Parents at the time of their death A. 1. Good counsel precepts directions as Isaac and Jacob did 2. Faithful prayers and blessings of them commending them into the hands of God 3. Commending them to some faithful friend to oversee them and supply their losse Esth 2.15 4. To settle their estate by Will to prevent divisions amongst children Isa 38.1 Q. Are there not some besides natural Parents that owe duty to children A. Yes those that are in stead of Parents which are as afore fathers or mothers in Law guardians and tutors or scoolmasters Q. What duties do fathers and mothers in Law owe to children A. The same for the most part that natural Parents owe to them Luk. 2.48 Exod. 18.1 Ruth 3.1 Q. What reason is there for this A. 1. Marriage making man and wife one flesh they ought to love each others children as part of themselves 2. It 's a signe of entire love to each other Love me and love my childe c. 3. It 's a special means to preserve love betwixt them Q. What duties do Guardians owe to the children entrusted with them A. The same some few excepted that natural Parents owe them Esth 2 7 11 20 22. and 4.13 1 Tim. 5.8 Q. What are the special duties A. 1. To look carefully to their education 2. To preserve their patrimony c. Q. What is the duty of Tutors c A. 1. To instruct them well in Piety or Religion 2. In learning 3. In good manners Chapter 3. The Duties of Servants to their Masters Eph. 6.5 Col. 3.22 Servants obey in all things your Masters according to the flesh not with eye-service c Q. WHat are the particulars of these Texts A. Four 1. The kindes of their duties 2. The manner 3. The extent 4. the motives Q. What are the kindes of servants duties A. Two Inward and outward Q. What are the inward A. 1. In judgement to he perswaded of their Masters Superiority over them 2. In a special affâ—ction of feare not a slavish but reverential feare counting them worthy of all honour Mal. 1.6 Eph. 6.5 1 Pet. 2.18 Q. What are their outward duties A. Two Reverence and Obedience Q. Wherein appeares their Reverence A. 1. In speech 2. In their carriage Q. How in their speech A. 1. In forbearing to speak in their presence attending to what they say 2. In ordering their speech aright when they do speak where their words must be 1. Reverent giving their titles Lord Master c. 2. Few 3. Meek and humble 4. Seasonable Mark 4.10 5 Ready to answer Job 19.16 6 True without lying 7. Good of them in absence as contrarily Ziba of his Master 2 Sam. 16.3 Q How in their carriage A. 1. By obeysance 2. Standing before them 3. Heads uncovered 4. Sober and modest countenance 5. Modesty of apparel sutable to their estate and place Q. What are the parts of their obedience A. 1. Negative or passive to forbear what is forbidden or denied them as 1. Not to goe when and whether they list 2. Nor doe their own but their Masters businesse 3. Nor dispose of their goods without leave Prov. 31.15 Exod. 21.4 4. Nor marry without their consent 5. Nor goe away before their time expired 2. Affirmative or Active and that expressed 1. In doing their commands Luke 17.7 8. 2. In hearkning to their instructions both Religious and Civil 3 By patient bearing their reproofes or corrections 1 Pet. 2.18 though unjust Tit. 2.9 with speedy amendment Prov 27.22 Q. In what manner must all their duties be performed A. 1. In singlenesse of heart Col. 3.22 and heartily v. 23. or from the heart not with eye-service or as men-pleasers as Geheri c. 2. In conscience as fearing God as unto Christ as serving the Lord Christ Eph. 6. 3. With good will which implyes four things 1. Cheerfulnesse 2. Quicknesse or readinesse 3. Diligence and activenesse in it 4. Faithfulnesse 1 Cor. 4.1 Tit. 2.10 In respect of 1. Their Masters goods both in keeping them as Jacob and increasing them as they that had the Tallents contra Tit. 2.20 2. Their businesses dispatching them well as Gen. 24.2 12 26 33.56 3. Their secrets especially their infirmities by concealing them Jerem. 38.27 4. Good example to their fellowes to make them faithful diligent c. contra Math. 24.48 49. 5. Loving and careful of their children to procure their good of soul and body Q. What is the extent of their obedience A. In all things that is in all lawful things in the Lord to bring their judgement to their Masters in all indifferent things For which end let them chuse to serve Religious Masters Q. What are the motives used to perswade servants to doe their duties A. 1. The place of a Master he stands in Christs stead and so Christ is served or neglected in him 2. The honour of their own place and condition they are Christs servants and freemen 1. Cor. 7.22 3. The Recompence of their service from God Col. 3.24 Q. What is that Recompence A. Reward or punishment Q. What reward is promised to them A. 1. Temporal many blessings First from their Masters as Joseph Mordecai c. 2. From strangers that behold their good service 3. He will bless their labours when they come to deal for themselves Gen. 43.23 as he did Jacob. 4. And give them such good servants as they have been 2. Eternal of the Lord receive the reward of inheritance with their Masters verse 24. Q. What punishment is threatned A. The contrary to the Reward Temporal sending them hard Masters or bad servants when they are Masters or curse their labours And eternal v. 25. He that doth wrong shall receive for the wrong he hath done Q. Are there any other motives A. Yes 1. If their Masters reward them not God will if they wrong them God will right them upon their Masters He that doth wrong though a Master shall receive for the wrong he hath done No respect of persons with God 2. By being good servants they shall