counsell is good but I cannot abide to be thus vexed euery day Eul. But thinke with your selfe what great labour you tooke before you could teach this parrot to pronounce some words Xant It was a long time indéede Eul. And doth it seeme irksome and tedious vnto you to take some paines to make your husband a good man You are not the woman I tooke you for for I alwaies thought that you would haue refused nothing that might be profitable to both your soules and bodies and that you might passe your daies in peace pleasure You haue heard how great paines men take to breake their horses and what curious meanes and deuices they vse to tame Lonys Bulles and Elephants and shall we thinke much to take a little paines to haue good husbands Xant What shall I doe Eul. Truly it grieues me to heare you This is the foot of your song commonly What shall I do Why this do Be carefull that your house be neate and cleanly that there may bee nothing to driue your husband out of doores Be gentle louing and kinde to him be alwaies mindfull of that reuerence which is due to him Be not lumpish nor yet tōboyish be not sluttish nor yet garish in your apparell let your meate be well dressed and in due season know your husbands tooth let him haue that which will delight his palate shew your selfe gentle and affable to his friends bidde them often to your house and see with chearfulnes all be hādsome When your husband is merry be not you sad whē he is melancholy be not you merry for contraries wil not agree together Make his bed soft see that euery thing which is good bee prouided for him By this meanes you shall haue him keepe home and so saue idle expences for thus will he thinke with himselfe at length Good Lord what meane I what a foole am I that liue ranging abroad with losse of my goods and good name by keeping drabbe and drunken company when I haue such a good and louing wife at home which takes more pleasure in me then this flattering harlot why then much more should I bee delightfull to her if I would quite leaue these truls and swilling company Well I will resolue with my selfe henceforth to leaue this filthy and beastly course of life Xant Doe you thinke that I shall preuaile Eul. You are very incredulous and a woman of small hope you would ill do I perceiue as a certaine graue matron did which I had thought to haue told you of before but I let it then passe because I would not bee tedious vnto you Xant I pray tell me what shee did Eul. You are maruellous desirous of nouelties and inquisitiue to know it were an excellent thing in you if you were as readie to practise what you know and to follow the good examples you heare of Xant Well I hope I shall doe it Eul. I will briefly shew you the same not that I would haue you to follow her steppes but learne wisedome from her policie There was an ancient Gentleman who gaue himselfe to hunting and as he was an hunting hee light vpon a yong maid a poore womās daughter For loue of her hee would leaue his owne house and frequent that His wife suspecting some such matter watched him one time whither he went and seeing him goe to a poore cottage thither she went one day when he was away and got out of them what he did there how he lay she could see nothing there but bare stone-wals meere pouerty Shee goes home in hast and makes no lesse speed againe bringing with her a handsome bed good prouision with siluer plate and also gaue them mony willing them if he came any more to make more of him and giue him better entertainment not telling them all this wile that she was his wife but made semblance as though she were his sister Soone after shee was gone comes her husband priuily not knowing what was done and seeing the house richly furnished his diet more dainty and greater plenty of it then ordinary he asked them whence they had all this furniture and prouision They told him that a graue matron a kinswoman of his brought it them and charged them at her departure to giue him better attendance and entertainment By and by his heart smote him and told him that it was his wife he goes home in all hast asking her whether she had ben in such a place shee tels him yea then he asked her what she meant by it to carrie bedding and such a deale of good plate and prouision thither O husband saith she you haue bene vsed euer since I knew you to a better diet and lodging then I see any there for you haue there but bad entertainment Therefore I thought it my dutie sith it was your pleasure vpon what occasion I know not often to resort thither that you should haue better prouision when you came then they could affoord you Now marke the issue when the man saw the tender loue and care of his wife he neuer stole out after but continually kept her company at home Also I could make rehearsall of another if I thought it expedient which inuited home her husbands paramour and if hee supped abroad with her would send them some one dainty dish or other and by this meanes win their husbands loue wholy to themselues But howsoeuer this fell out at sometime yet it is not lawfull to take the same course though wee were in hope our attempt should haue successe for wee must not doe euill that good may come of it But to this end I haue alledged these two last that if women haue won their husbands which were lincked to harlots then much more may Christian women by their louely and holy carriage be in hope to win them which hate such strumpets And thou Xantip that saiest thy husband haunteth harlots this is my counsel to thee to make much of him not because he doth that wickednesse or to flesh him in his lust but that therby thou maist reclaime him from it but in no case countenance thou his paramour Xant I purpose to practise your precepts Eul. Looke on me I promise you if you practise thē as you haue often said you shall finde me a friend indeed and I will goe to your husband and get Abigail that can giue beter counsel then I to goe with me and wee will tell him throughly of his duty yea and that in such a manner as I make no doubt but hee shall accept of it Xant I commend your course But take heede hee smell vs not out for if he know that I haue made his faults knowne to you he will be so outragious as though he would bring heauen and earth together and take on with mee like a madde man and bedlem Eul. Feare not wee will bring the matter so cunningly about fetch him so finely ouer that I make no doubt but that we will
A LOOKING GLASSE FOR Maried Folkes Wherein they may plainly see their deformities and also how to behaue themselues one to another and both of them towards God Set forth Dialogue-wise for the more tastable and plainnesse sake By R. S. PROVERBS 11.29 He that troubleth his owne house shall inherite the winde and the foole shall be seruant to him that lendeth PROVERBS 12.4 A vertuous woman is the crowne of her husband but she that maketh him ashamed is as corruption to his bones LONDON Printed by N. O. for Henry Bell and are to be sold at his shop on Holburne Hill neere the crosse Keyes 1610. THE AVTHOR TO the gentle Reader COurteous Reader the speciall cause inducing me to take in hand this worke and to bring my candle lighted into the glorious Sun-shine of this age and to publish the same to the view of this famous common-wealth was that I haue seene heard with griefe of heart in many places whither I haue come wicked and vnquiet liuing betweene man wife the which caused me many a time to consult with my selfe how I might be a meanes to reforme the same I considered and thought with my selfe that many wanted meanes to be reconciled one to another and that there was no booke extant of this subiect in English and that for want of meanes many haue liued ignorantly and so of necessity wickedly and discontentedly together to the dishonor of God the offence and euill example of others the losse of their credits the wasting of their goods the corrupting of their children and seruants and finally to the consuming of their owne bodies yea many to the destroying of their soules for euermore The consideration of these things moued me not to delay but speedily to seeke out a remedy for them And I pray God grant that euery one that is infected with the aforesaid disease when as this booke shall come to their hands may apply it effectually vnto themselues that so they may expell the poisoned malice of their cankered hearts And all these patients I would haue to marke that the more they giue way vnto their nature or rather vnnaturall affections the more they shall be tainted with the horrible vices whereto they are addicted And againe the more they are infected with them the more venimous poyson their children shall draw from them not onely whiles they are in their mothers wombe but also much more afterwards by their euill examples And howsoeuer it is little regarded that children can be infected with the parents disposition while they are in the wombe yet dayly experience doth shew that as they are formed and proportioned in body much like vnto their parents so likewise in their nature and affections Now therefore though thou hast small regard of thy selfe yet for thy childrens sake which are the fruit of thy body take heed obserue and practise good counsell herein contained which if thou doest I make no doubt but thou shalt be a meanes to saue both thy selfe many others And moreouer pondering these things deeply with my selfe as I said I called vnto remembrance a Dialogue betweene two women to this effect written in Latine by the reuerend learned man Erasmus and thinking it was not in English I thought to publish the same in our mother tongue for the benefite of my countrymem but after considering further that that onely concerned women yea and that they might attaine to all that which hee counselleth there and yet be damned I haue added thereunto the substance of faith and repentance with diuers other particular poynts and examples though briefly which being practised are sufficient to life eternall And moreouer lest men by reading the former part of this booke which teacheth the duty of wiues should domineere too much ouer them I haue shewed them also in the later part thereof the duties which they owe to their wiues drawne from plaine proofes reasons and arguments of holy Scripture so that they may both learne how to behaue themselues each to other and both of them to God as they ought And now if thou shalt reape profite from thence as I hope thou shalt except the fault be in thy selfe giue glory to God counsel to thy neighbours as time and oportunity is offered and in so doing I doubt not but God will giue a blessing vnto thee thy directions and by this meanes thou shalt be an instrument of a publicke and continuall good not onely in making good parents but they by thy meanes also shall make good children and good seruants and this by Gods blessing shal successiuely go on from age to age euen to the end of the world and so by this meanes good parents which are scarce shall bee multipled to the increase of Gods Church and the flourishing estate of the common-wealth And further know this that good parents are speciall instruments to make godly children and good seruants and godly children and good seruants will make religious men and women and religious men and womē doth make a flourishing church and famous common-weale set forth Gods glory and establish the Princes kingdome Therefore I pray thee consider and lay it vnto heart what a common and continuall good this peace-making is betweene married couples Therefore by this premised euery one may easily see how necessary comfortable and commodious this little booke may bee through Gods blessing to all sorts of men high and low rich and poore religious and prophane that some may teach and some may learne and all reape profite one by another And now gentle reader if thou finde any slips herein as haply thou maist I pray thee couer them with thy courtesie Accept of my good wil receiue that with thankfulnesse to God which may be profitable to thy selfe and if I shal heare that it shal be courteously receiued and carefully practised it shall bee a meanes through Gods fauour to stirre me vp to attempt a greater worke that shall be more profitable both for the Church of Christ and my deare country for the wealth of both which I onely desire to liue and to haue maintenance to manifest my loue and duty which I owe vnto them But because I will not bee tedious in the preface I will conclude lest I weary thee before thou come to the Conference Onely this I desire of thee that thou wilt not onely begin to reade the booke but reade it to the end And howsoeeuer some things may seeme vnsauorie vnto thee at the first yet I feare not but in fine thou shalt finde it profitable and comfortable And thus I commit thee and all thy good exercises to the blessing of the Almighty Studious of thine as of mine owne quiet and profite Robert Snawsel A LOOKING GLASSE FOR MARRIED FOLKES OR A profitable Conference betweene foure women and one man touching their behauiours toward God and their husbands and what they ought to bee and also the dutie of husbands toward their wiues The foure womens names are
made vs fight out-right Hee got vp a great cudgell and shaked it at me threatning me with thundering speeches Eul. O lamentable liuing betweene man and wife Marg. Wast thou not afraid then Xantip Xant Afraid no on the other side I tooke vp the treuit and if he had but touched me with a finger he should wel haue seene and felt that I would haue laid about me lustily with both my hands Marg. I promise you I commend you for your manly courage you had got a new kinde of target when you had the treuit you did but lacke your distaffe in stéed of a iauelin Xant I would haue made him haue knowne that hee had met and medled with his match Eul. O neighbour this should not be so Xant What tell you me of it if hee will not vse me as his wife I will not entreate him as my husband Eul. But Paul as I said before teacheth that wiues should be in subiection to their husbands with all reuerence and not to be check-mates with them and Peter sets downe Sarah for an example to women who called her husband Lord. Marg. We haue heard of these things before as well as you but the same Paul I trow teacheth that husbands should loue their wiues as Christ did his Church Xant Well let him first do his duty and then I will do mine Eul. But yet when the case stands thus I thinke it is the wiues part to yeeld first to her husband Xant Husband quoth she marrie in good time if he be a husband that makes no more account of me then of his kitchin girle Marg. But in kindnesse Xantip tell me did he when you stood so stoutly to him leaue off to threaten you blowes Xant Did he yes and it was best for him too I trow or else as I am an honest woman I sweare to you I would haue be laboured my fellow well and soundly Eul. O terrible mannish woman I did not thinke that thou hadst bene of such a peremptory spirit Thou doest not remember that he hath power ouer thee and that thou shouldest let thy desire be subiect to thy husbands Marg. It was well done Xantip hold him out still at staues end yéeld him not an inch lest he take an ell let him not crow ouer thée Eul. You need not giue her such wicked counsell what will you haue all the world to exclaime on our sexe and cry out vpon women kind Marg. Why none but men will speake against vs and if they do we can giue them two words for one in the hottest manner Eul. Me thought you said your husband left his threatning me thinks then Xantip in all equity and conscience you should ceasse your scolding Xant I mind not to leaue it yet Marg. What does hee I pray thee whilest thou art scolding Xant What sometimes he sléepes flugge as hee is sometimes hee fals a laughing sometimes he takes his fiddle which hath scarce three strings and thereon he strikes with his fidling stick as loud as he can that hee may therewith drowne the noise of me Mar. I am sure this behauiour of his angers thee to the heart Xant It grieues me indéed to the very guts and I so chafe sometimes that I can hardly hold my hands Eul. I pray you good neighbour hold your tongue and giue me leaue to speake my mind a little to you Xant Say on hardly and speake your pleasure Eul. You shall be as bold with me when you please me thinkes we two for old acquaintance sake should be very bold familiar one with another Xant You say true For truly we haue bene play-fellowes from our cradles and of all that euer I had there was none that euer I loued better then you Eu. Well then this I say in loue that I haue towards you still and my request is euen as you loue me to hearken vnto me You are maried now vnto your husband what manner of man soeuer hee be you haue no liberty to change him for another or cast him off In old time indeed when couples could not agree diuorcement was permitted appointed as an extreme remedie but now that is quite abolished Ben-ezer must bee your husband and you Xantip his wife till one of you dye Xant A vengeance on them whosoeuer they be that haue taken away that law and liberty from vs. Eul. Take heed what you speake you wot not what you say nor whom you curse It is Christs pleasure I tell you no other mans that it should be thus hence-forth Xant I can hardly beléeue it Eul. Truly Xantip it is as I say and therefore cry Christ mercy for thy cursed blasphemy and study to agree with thy husband henceforward by applying thy selfe vnto his qualities Xant Is it in my hands to make my husband a new man Eul. I can tell you Xantip wee wiues may do much either in making or marring our husbands Xan. Do you and your husband agree so well together Eul. Yes now God be thanked wee liue in peace Xant By your owne saying it seemes that you could not well agrée heretofore Eul. I must needes confesse to thee though I take shame to my selfe the fault most commonly was mine For I was as many other yong women are proud disdainfull scorning that my husband should reproue mee idle and carelesse seldome or neuer seeking to please him but rather thought that hee should stoope and seeke to me and many times I would be lumpish and lowring and if at any time he spake vnto me any thing which pleased me not wel I would snap him vp shrewdly and answere him crossely with shame I may speake it God forgiue me yet after as I grew in yeares I grew in experience and comming acquainted with motherly and modest matrons they gaue mee graue and sage counsell which I obeied and was much bettered by it so that after there was neuer any tempest I thank God But yet as it fals out commonly amongst married folks some little clouds arose which might haue made a storme except I had obserued and practised the wise Christian counsel of my louing religious neighbour Abigail which made the cloudes to vanish and my husband as meeke as a lambe For I considered that euery man hath his qualities euery womā her infirmitie I thought with my selfe how I might behaue my selfe best towards my husband for both our goods and whiles I was weighing seriously these things and reuoluing thē in my minde these sentences of Scripture came to my remembrance A soft answere staieth wrath And againe A word spoken in due place is like apples of gold with pictures of siluer And further In many words there cannot want iniquity but he that refraineth his lips is wise And againe A wise man waits his opportunity but a foole speaketh whatsoeuer commeth to his mind And againe that which our Sauiour saith that we shall giue account of euery idle word at the day of iudgement And againe That
and fauour in his Sonne Christ Iesus our Lord and hath made vs one with himselfe his Sonne partakers of his diuine nature and hath filled our hearts with vnspeakeable comfort and ioy of the holy Ghost which wee desired so much in the daies of our affliction And further hath giuen vnto vs his Spirit which is the earnest pennie of our euerlasting happinesse and which doth sanctifie vs daily more and more and strengthen vs to euery good worke and hath promised that no good thing shall be wanting vnto vs if we will be obedient vnto him How ought these things to cause vs to loue God againe and for his sake to loue one another seeing that he of his méere mercy hath made vs partakers of such happinesse Ezer They are happy indeede that haue all these things bestowed vpon them which you haue spoken of Abig. Euery true Christian is in such a happy estate before they can find sound comfort vnto their soules or before they can performe any duty pleasing vnto God or before they can loue their wiues as they ought Ezer Then there are but few that loue their wiues as they ought Abig. It is true indéed and more is the pitty For some loue their wiues for their lusts sake some for their beauties sake some for their riches sake some for their friends sake some for natures sake some for necessities sake because they sée if they should not it would not stand with their quiet profite credit But take once away the aforesaid causes their loue falles to the ground If it bee for lust when that is satisfied he rather hates thē loues her as Ammon did his sister 2. Sam. 13.15 if for beauty as that vanisheth his loue decaieth if for riches nature or friends sake as they lessen his loue lessens with them if it be for necessitie it is counterfaite or if she winne his loue as some doe by her faire language then it turneth as the winde Finally if it be for any outward cause or for all the causes vnder the cope of heauen without the loue of God it will bee vncomfortable vnconstant and vnsound but if it be for the loue of God though for no other cause in the earth it wil be vndefiled comfortable continuall and increase more and more But all loue else whatsoeuer that proceedes from the husbande to the wife and from the wife to the husband is rebellion against God and the more a man loues his wife or the wife her husband the more they sinne against God Howsoeuer this may séeme harsh vnto worldly men yet that which doth ensue will make it plaine for the more that both husband and wife loue each other without louing God the more they will seeke to fulfill their fleshly lusts though they be neuer so much against God and his word Therfore it behoues euery man to loue his wife with such loue as Christ did his Church Ezer What manner of loue was that Abig. It was not fleshly but spirituall not earthly but heauenly Ezer But must he not loue her outwardly and prouide such things for her as are necessary profitable and comfortable for the preseruing and cherishing of her body Abig. Yes it is the part and dutie of euery man chiefly of a Christian so to doe as I would haue shewed you anon or else he shall not onely sinne against her but against God also Ezer I pray you now shew how a man must first shew his loue to his wife and what is the first fruit of his loue Abig. In the first place hee must giue himselfe vnto God with fasting prayer that the Lord would blesse his enterprises and proceedings and when he hath humbled himselfe vnto God he must not thinke much to humble him selfe to his wife Eul. This wil be harsh vnto the most men and they will hardly or neuer bee brought vnto it Abig. But if they will be Christian men they must do it and that for these causes First because it is not hurtfull but good and profitable not against the word but warrantable and commanded by it And lastly because Christ hath giuen them example so to do Eul. I pray you if you can shew these things more plainly Abig. For the first if you looke from the beginning of Genesis to the latter end of the Apocalypse you shall neuer finde it spoken against either openly nor inclusiuely and therupon I gather that seeing it is profitable it may bee practised in a ciuil and courteous manner And againe humility is a vertue and the more eminent place a man is in the more it doth adorne him if he be endued with it And further though he bee in neuer so high a place hee is commanded to humble himselfe to his brethren yea and to make himselfe as he is a Christian equall with them of the lower sort Now if it bee his dutie to humble himselfe towards euery one to make himselfe equall with those of the lowest sort then much more to his wife Againe they are commanded to honour their wiues as the weaker vessels that is as I take it not onely to beare with their wiues infirmities but to submit their mindes vnto them in that which is good kindly to intreate them in humblenesse of minde and to aduance their credit and good name and to stand in their defence against whomsoeuer that oppose themselues against them And lastly by Christs example they are to be lowly and humbly to submit themselues vnto their wiues as he doth vnto his Church and people Ezer How doth Christ humbly submit himselfe vnto his Church and people Abig. Christ doth submit and humble himselfe vnto his Church and people both in himselfe and by others His submissiō is shewed both by his words gesture and actions By his words when he louingly intreats her to leaue her corruptions and to accept of his louing fauour and kindnesse which he offers vnto her as a token of his loue and vnfaigned desire he hath that she should bee at peace with him and to the end that he might win her loue hee makes many gracious and beauteous promises vnto her yea hee bestowes many rich treasures vpon her suing wooing of her and sometimes when she turnes her backe vpon him hee turnes his face to her saying what ailes my loue my doue my vndefiled spouse when she is sad he wil make her ioyful many times when shée frownes hée will looke vpon her with a chearefull countenance And againe he attendeth and waiteth at the gates of her portall saying Behold I stand at the doore and knocke open vnto me my loue my doue and vndefiled And moreouer for his Churches sake which is his wife he bended his knées and humbled himselfe vnto the earth yea vnto death and that vnto the most shamefull and horrible death of the crosse What baesnesse did hee refuse to honour her Consider the reproches and indignities he endured of the paines miseries
as the weaker vessels And againe that man and wife make but one body and againe that they should draw the yoke equally together Eul. Your wish is very good Abigail for want of due consideration is the neglect of true practise of all duties Ezer And truely neighbours it comes to my minde now that the Lord laid these duties of louing honoring their wiues vpon men partly because they are stronger and more able to beare and support the infirmities and weakenesses of their wiues then the wiues are of the husbands And againe that the husbands should not swell too much with their authority that they should not make their poores wiues as slaues but should account of them as themselues For the Lord knew very well that men are of such natures for the most part that if hee gaue thē power they would stretch it to the vttermost and therefore he abates their superiority and makes it in some measure equal with the wiues And further he would haue mā to know that this is his dignity to giue honour vnto the woman lest shee through the loftinesse of his minde should bee vsed crosly and vnkindly Eul. Lo neighbour lo yonder comes your wife Ezer Why how now wife where haue you bene all this while Xant Forsooth husband I haue bene about some speciall businesse that concerns you and me Ezer Why didst thou stay so long Xant I pray you good husband be not offended with mee and I will tell you Ezer I am glad that you are so humble and courteous if you hold on thus Xantip I hope that wee shall neuer fall out Xant I hope that I shall not onely continue but increase in doing my duty both to God and you Ezer And then I make no doubt but my loue shall be more and more extended vnto thee come and sit downe here and tell me where hast thou bene Xant If it shall please you husband I haue bene much troubled in my mind since I went foorth for some iars that haue bene betwéene vs. Ezer And I haue bene much quieted and comforted in my mind wife since thy comming in for the peace which I hope shall be betweene vs but proceede and say one Xant As I was comming home I spied a solitarie place which I went vnto there powred forth my complaints to the Lord praying his maiesty for pardon of my disobedience towards you al my abusing of you with my tong by railing speeches and that wee might more quietly liue together then we had done for I felt such horrible gripings within me that I thought my heart would haue burst and then came the trifling occasions of my falling out into my minde which made such horrible broiles and hurly burly betweene vs the which at the first I might haue stopt with a patient word but sinfull wretch that I was I rather opened a fountaine by my railing tong And thus as I was bewailing my miserable estate thinking what a hell it was for man wife to be at ods there comes by Maister T who seeing me all alone asked me what I did so solitary I could scarce speake to him for wéeping He oftē asked me what I ailed saying merrily it was more strāge to sée me wéepe thē fight further askt if we had faln out now I had got the foile I told him no we were not falne out but I was much grieued that we could kéepe no more in at which words he wondred and yet reioyced to sée me mourne And when hee perceiued that I was much afflicted in spirit for my offences he comforted me with these and such like words saying Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted Blessed are they that go on their way weeping for they shall returne and bring their sheaues with them And applyed vnto me the swéete promises of God in Christ Iesus saying Christ saith Come vnto me ye that are thirsty buy of me wine without siluer And againe If any mā sin we haue an aduocate with the Father Christ Iesus the righteous And whē I cryed I haue sinned against my husbād more against God what shall I doe what shall I doe he would bid me possesse my soule in patience and beléeue in the Lord Iesus and take hold of his mercies by the hand of Faith and then though my sins were as redde as scarlet they should bee as white as woolle and that the Lord tooke no pleasure in the destruction of sinners but if they would turne from their euill wayes vnto him and continue in well doing vnto the end they should vndoubtedly be saued And when he had somwhat pacified my wounded spirit hee perswaded me to go with him to a Sermon I paused a little but at last went with him in a blessed howre I thank my God for I reaped more profit and comfort thereat then euer I did at any before Abig. The cause neighbour Xantip or rather the fault I may say hath bene in your selfe heretofore in that you haue not gone so humbled and with an vnfeigned desire to know and doe your duty Xant I acknowledge it to be so good neighbour Abigail and I pray God forgiue me that and all my other sins Abig. God hath promised to forgiue all that vnfeignedly repent of whom I make no doubt by that I haue now heard from your owne mouth that you are one Eul. What did the Preacher handle Xant He spake of the mutuall duties of man and wife and of both their duties towards God Ezer That was most excellent doctrine for vs wife Xant Yea indeede husband I thanke God it was most profitable and comfortable I wished you many a time there Ezer I thanke God and our good neighbours we haue bene well exercised here this afternoone also for I hope they haue done me more good then euer I thought women could haue done to man in that kinde Xant I thanke God also for it and I reioyce at it in my soule Ezer Well wife here is my hand and giue me thine and let vs renew our couenant which wee haue broken with God and toward each other And now let vs here vow both before God and our good neighbours Abigail and Eulalie through his grace to keepe the same inuiolate while we liue Xant Here husband here is both my hand and my heart Abig. Blessed praised bee our gracious God for his excéeding mercy now shewed to you both and I beséech his Maiestie that you may both kéepe your couenant with him and one with another while breath is in your bodies that when it shall be his pleasure to take you hence hee may receiue your soules and bodies into his glorious kingdome Ezer And blessed are you which through Gods mercy haue bene speciall instruments to do vs good and I with my wife accordingly as we are bound will not ceasse to praise God and to pray to him for you that hee would of his rich grace preserue and blesse you both with vs and all the rest that loue the comming of our Lord Iesus Christ to whom be all praise and thanks for euer Amen
can to agree one with another and to strengthen our affections against euill dispositions and to holy actions Now the only way to compasse peace is that wiues be buxom and obedient to their husbands and to vse them kindly with gentle behauiour Now whereas some women stand vpon their pantofles that is either vpon their glistering beautie their proper personage great portion and rich parentage alas it is nothing to lessen their loyalty and submission to their husbands And that man that sets his loue vpon his wife for these outward things especially shall know that as beauty passeth his loue will passe with it and as riches wast his loue will languish and as her parents die so his loue will bee buried in obliuion with them Xantip Good gossip tell mee what way went you to worke to win your husband Eulal I told you a little before but to the end that you may the better remember it and follow me I wil tell you againe Xantip If I can I will doe my endeauour to the vttermost through the helpe of God Eul. I make no doubt but that God wil strengthen then you to any good worke if you call vpon him for his aide and take those meanes which hee hath appointed for the accomplishing of the same Xant Well I will Eul. First then this was my care when hee was pleased how I might keepe in with him and when hee was angrie how I might appease him And this was one maine thing that I would continually aime at to behaue my selfe humbly and meekly towards him both in word and deed also I would carry my selfe cheerfully toward him and I would looke vp and downe that there should bee nothing that might offend him I also obserued his disposition and inclination Moreouer I had respect vnto times and seasons that his diet should bee prouided in due time and that he should haue such delicates as were most comfortable for his heart and pleasant to his mouth and so by this meanes I won both him and his loue vnto me whereas before me thought he was as cruell as a Lyon and terrible as a Dragon Therefore I considered what those do that take in hand to tame Lyons and Elephants c. which cannot be mastered with strong hand therfore they that goe to the Elephant haue a speciall care that they bee not clad in white and they that goe to Buls that they be not araied in redde because it hath bene found by experience that those creatures by these colours are made wilder and fiercer and also Tigres by the sound of Timbrels by report are so enraged that they rend themselues in peeces So they that breake horses haue their tearmes their smackings whistlings and clappings whereby they make their stout nature tame Why then Xantip consider I pray you how much more seemely and necessary it it that we women should acquaint our selues with such courses whereby we may win our husbands to goodnesse by whom we should haue the greatest comfort and defence next vnder God Xant It is true say on I pray you say on Eulal Hauing obserued these things I applied me to his nature and I had great care that nothing should be done that might displease him nor nothing left vndone that might offend him Not onely of my selfe had I this care but of all that was in in the house and that not onely in great matters but also in the least Xantip But how would you apply your selfe to him that would neuer tarry within doores or come euery while drunken home Eul. Stay a while I will speake of that by and by First I will shew you forth my behauiour towards my husband because you desired to know it When he lookt at any time very sad there were no fit time to speak to him I would not thē laugh dally with him and play the tom-boy as many women are wont to doe in such a case but I put vpon me a sad countenance also and lookt heauily for euen as a looking glasse if it be a good one doth shew the countenance of him that glasses himselfe in it So it beseemes an honest wife to frame her selfe to her husbands affectiō and not to be merry when he is melancholy nor iocund when he is sad much lesse flire when hee is angry And if at any time he were stird I would either pacifie him with gentle speech or giue way to his wrath till it were somewhat alayed or else I would keepe silence til there were fit time for clearing my selfe or aduising him with reuerence and discretion This course also I tooke if at any time he came drunken home I would not then for any thing haue giuē him a foule word but I would cause his bed to be made very soft and easie that he might sleepe the better and by faire speeches get him to it Marg. Héere are fetters for the legs and yoakes for the neckes of women must they crouch on this manner to their currish and swinish husbands If I had such an one as he behaued himselfe like a swine so I would vse him like a beast Eulal I had thought we had bene ridde of your company Marg. I stood behind and heard you so long that I could no longer hold my peace Are you a woman and make them such dishclouts and slaues to their husbands Came you of a woman that you should giue thē no prerogatiue but make them altogether vnderlings Eul. I pray you be patient I haue spoke nor counselled any thing but what I haue done my selfe and I haue done nothing but that which is warranted by the word of God Marg. I hope the word of God doth shewmen their duties to wiues as well as the wiues toward their husbands Eul. It is so but first wee must shew the one before we can doe the other Marg. You should haue begun with the men first Eul. It might haply haue bene somewhat tedious and women mostly are so fickle and wil find themselues so many things to doe are so soone weary of hearing and reading any good thing that they would scarce stay to heare the beginning of their dutie therefore I thought best to begin with them first Marg. Trust me you are a small friend to your owne sexe Eul. More then you are to your owne selfe for you are ignorant and carelesse of that good which you might haue by your husband if you would be louing and submissiue to him Marg. Tell not mee of the good which I may haue by my submissiō for this is the truth of it I care not though he heard me I neuer meane to haue my necke brought vnder his girdle but I will rather make him buckle bend vnto me or else he shall haue an vnquet life Eul. It is true indeed that many such as you are wil haue their husbands bend and crouch vnto them But how seemly or warrantable this is let euery one iudge It is neither for the womans
winkt at it and kept in his displeasure On a day he willed his wife for recreations sake to walke with him into the country to her father Oh shee was in heauen when she heard of that went with al her heart with him to her fathers house Being come thither he left his wife talking with her mother sisters himselfe went into the fields a hunting with his father in law being there and no body by he told his father in law how he hoped that he had happened on a comfortable companion to haue past his life withall but now he perceiued that he had one alwaies puling and complaining and pittifully taking on and that hée could not helpe it with whatsoeuer he could say Therefore he prayed his father to play the Physition and to cure his daughters malady Her father made him this answere Son saith he once in the Church I deliuered my daughter to you if she will not be ruled by your counsell vse your authority Then the young man thus replied Father I know very wel what I may do by my place and authority but I had rather shee might bee brought into order by your skill and authority then to vse the extreme remedy of Stafford law Vpon that his father promised him to do whathe could to cure and physicke his daughters crooked and peruerse disposition Within a day or two therefore he pickt out a fit oportunity both of time place to deale alone with his daughter Calling her to him aside and composing his countenance in a graue and grim manner and solemne sort he beganne to shew her what a hard fauoured woman she was and of no louely qualities and how he was oft afraid least hee should neuer haue bestowed her in marriage and yet saith hee through the great care that I haue had for thee I haue procured thee such an husband as the most courteous and beautifull damsell that is could not desire a better To be briefe the fathers spéech grew so hot that hee could scarce hold his hands The young woman moued partly with feare and partly with the truth of that her father told her fell downe at his feet praying him to forgiue her and promising euer after to be mindfull of her dutie Her father forgaue her and said further that hee would shew himselfe a right father if she would doe as she promised Xant And what followed Eu. The young woman going from her father returned to her chamber finds her husband all alone fals vpon her knees cried O husband vnwise as I was I haue not hitherto knowne you nor my selfe hereafter you shall sée me become a new woman only good husband forgiue and forget my former disobedience This vnexpected humble spéech of his wife hée welcomed with a kisse and promised her all things if shée would still continue in this minde Xant Yea but did she so Eul. Yes to her dying day neither was there any seruice so base which shée would not willingly vndergoe at her husbands pleasure howsoeuer Margery it may be you would haue done it at your leasure And there grew euery day such great loue betwixt thē that within few yeares she would often in company reioyce blesse God that shee was matched with such a husband whom if shée had not maried she thought there should not haue bene a more miserable creature vnder the Sunne Marg. Such men as these are as rare as white crowes Xant Yet you haue such an one Eul. The greater shall her iudgment be except she repent for there are few women in the country I can tell you that haue such a religious husband who seeketh by all meanes her saluation Xant Haue you no mo such exāples Eul. Yes that I haue and one especiall one which I hope will please Margery it being much in the commēdation of a woman as the other was of a man Xant I pray you let vs heare it Eul. There was a neighbour of ours a very honest man but somewhat of a hastie nature and of a waspish tetchy disposition on a day he beate his wife a woman by common report of singular good carriage and excellent behauiour such an one as Abigail being very well beloued of all her neighbours Being beaten abused of her husband she betakes her selfe into her secret closet and there shee sits sighing and sobbing so easing her heart and disgesting her griefe Soone after vpon occasion her husband went into that roome and finding his wife wofully weeping saies to her Why sittest thou here fighing sobbing and crying like a child Shee then thus prudently and patiently answered Husband said shee is it not better to doe thus here to bewaile my griefe where no body heares nor sees then to runne and cry out in the streetes and to exclaime on you as others do on their husbands By this wise and gentle speech of his wife the stout heart of her husband was broken hee gaue her his right hand and promised that hee would neuer touch her againe in any euill manner neither did he Xant I haue brought my husband to that passe too but yet another way then she did Eul. But I thinke you cannot yet agree Xant Why what would you haue me to do Eul. O Xantip how oft haue I told thee how thou shouldst behaue thy selfe to thy husband I perceiue thou hast a bad memory or at least small list to learne sith so soone thou forgettest thy duty Wel once more I wil tel thee First you must put vp all iniury at his hands Marg. Yea so one might soone bée made a foole a foot-stoole I would rather do him two for one Eul. Hold you your tongue Margery I speake not to you but to Xantip Then Xantip you must labour to win his good will by doing all duties with chearefulnesse and louing kindnesse so shal you at last ouercome him or at least you shall haue him in a farre better temper then he is in at this present Xant Alas woman he is farre fiercer then he was before I feare me no gentlenesse will preuaile with him Eul. Feare not woman there is no wild beast so sauage but by gentle handling it may be tamed be not then hopelesse of a man do but put in practise vre my aduice for a few moneths and then blame me if you find not my counsell to doe you good There are some smal faults which you must winke at take heede that you giue no occasion of contention and thinke no scorne to be seruiceable in those things which become you There are some women that will be euer frumping or whining seldome or neuer vsing any amiable behauiour toward their husbands which is a signe that they haue not the loue of God shed abroad in their hearts For if they had it would cause them to loue their husbands vnspeakeably Xant Indéed gossip I must tell you plainly I cannot shew that loue to my husband that I should and some do to
you doe in such a case Ezer Surely if possible I could I would stoppe their mouthes that they should not vtter it lest I should bee shamed Eul. Why then if your wife commit not such vgly offences how much more ought you to keepe silence and though one or two know of it to intreate them to make no words seeing you haue confessed that the more vgly and grieuous your offences are the more carefull you would bée lest they should be spread abroad therefore the more your wiues infirmities are the more you are to doe the office of a good physition euen to labour to cure them if you cannot at least to couer them as it is written Vpon your vncomely members put more comelinesse on the which may not vnfitly bee applied to this matter Thy wife is one of thy principall members if she bée vncomly any way put thou more comlinesse on if shee be not so beautifull as thou desirest couer it with contentation if not so prouident as shee ought couer that with thy good husbandry if she bée not so wise as thou wishest couer that with thy prudency If shee be not so louing as is fit couer that with the skirts of thy loue if cholericke couer it with patience and although shee faile in dutie which shee ought yet shée may challenge yours as due debt as long as shee is your wife you are bound to giue honour to her as to the weaker vessell Eul. If these things were well considered of many men much strife and terrible broiles would be left betweene man and wife Ezer Yea but I must needs tel you that these things can hardly be digested for if wee should yeeld thus much to our wiues they would make starke fooles of vs. Abig. No not so sir for you shoud see the blessing of God vpon you which would mitigate the swelling and raging of your wiues affections I pray you tell me sir say that you had a soare arme grieuously wounded or had drunke a cup of poyson or were sicke neere vnto death what would you do in these cases Ezer If I had a soare I would haue a salue according to the nature and bignesse of the wound or if I had drunke poyson I would preseÌ„tly séeke a remedy to expell it or if I were sicke néere vnto death I would aske the counsell of the physition and follow the same and the more sicke that I should bee the more would I make of my selfe Abig. Euen so you must do to your wife the greater that her soare is the better your salue must be and the greater her wound is the more must bee your plaister and the skilfuller surgian is required and the more her sickenes is the more carefull tender you must be ouer her Ezer Neither paines care nor cost should be wanting if I were in hope to do her good Abig. The captaine cannot promise his souldiers victory before they fight nor the physition his patient health before he minister vnto him but yet Christ Iesus our captaine hath promised you victory if that you will be directed by him Ezer Yes with all my heart Abig. This then is your precept that you loue your wife as hee did his Church Ezer I will try if that I can win her by kindnesse Abig. That must bee the way if euer you win her and the meanes whereby you must keepe her being won Now seeing wee haue proceeded thus farre if you please I will you shew the causes as I haue heard of a learned and godly man wherfore the husband should loue his wife Ezer Do so then with a good will and I would euery cause were a cord to tie mée vnto it Abig. The causes are so weighty yea euery one of them so mightie that they may not onely be termed hempeÌ„ cords but rather strong yron chaines to tie bind not onely you but euery man to his wife in the vnseparable knot of loue The first is because she is the creature of God made of the same matter and nature that you are The second is beecause shee is your wife and the third is because shee either is or may be a Christian Now for the first for that shee is the creature of God made of the same matter and nature that your selfe is you are to loue her though shee be your enimie as it is written Loue your enimies that is as they are the creatures of God made in his image not for their owne sakes yet for Gods sake Secondly because she is your wife For this cause shal a man leaue father and mother and cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh This doth so glue and ioyne man and wife together that no vnkindnesse or wickednesse except adultery ought to separate them The third cause that ought to ioyne man and wife in affection together is in that she either is or may be a Christian if that she be then you are to loue her for that shee is called vnto the same profession baptized with the same baptisme sanctified and renewed by the same Spirit bought with the same price partaker of the same hope faith and communion of Saints and of the same graces and heauenly riches in Christ Iesus and made heire of one and the same kingdome of glorie for euer to reigne with God and his Christ in the presence of his holy Angles world without end These things I say ought to cause a man to loue his wife to cherish maintaine and prouide for her like a woman to comfort her as his owne bowels Now where this true loue is there wil nothing that is either necessary profitable or coÌ„fortable for the wife bee wanting if that possible her husband can procure it I would all husbands would marke this For according to his loue will his care be to prouide for her and after his care will his diligence bee to please her and as hee pleaseth her so shall hee haue comfort by her Eul. This may serue to reproue the corrupt proud churlish affections of many men which will rather seeke to crosse them in that which is good and godly Ezer It is true and much more are they to blame that tirannously will rule yea ouerrule and that without all rule credit or honestie Eul. Now I perceiue neighhour that your name nature doe agrée well together Ezer What should I doe I must needes speake the truth and that which I haue knowne by mine owne experience for I haue bene much inclined to offend this way God forgiue me and others also whom I know haue bene twice as bad as my selfe Eul. The worse they are this way the worse it is for themselues for as it is said the hasty man neuer wants woe so I thinke I may say the tyrant shall neuer want a shrew Abig. I would such men would but a little consider how the Lord doth â—â—tigate their authority ouer their wiues when he saith that they should honour them