Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
duty_n	husband_n	let_v	wife_n	4,137	5	7.9298	4	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
B08841	A meet help, or, A wedding sermon preached at New-Castle in New-England, June 19th 1694, at the marriage of Mr. John Clark, and Mrs. Elizabeth Woodbridge / by Mr. John Cotton.	Cotton, John, 1658-1710.	1699 (1699)	Wing C6473A; ESTC W38820	10,037	28

of them what is wont to be said of Governments That bad ones are better than none They are a sort of Blasphemers then who dispise and decry them and call them a necessary Evil for they are a necessary Good such as it was not good that man should be without Prov. 18.22 Whos● findeth a Wif● findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord And they are spoken of as the desire of the eye Ezek. 24.16 21. It is with a more than Fem●nine impotency that any declaim against th● whole Sex for the infirmity of some and it may be without that cause either they should all remember that they are Sons of Women that their Mothers were Women and that otherwise they had never been Men Yea that the Lord JESUS CHRIST our Blessed Saviour was born of a Woman and that Blessed was the Womb that bare him and the Paps which gave him suck Luk. 11.27 And that the Apostle Paul who was not for the cumbrances that attended a Married Estate in times of Persecution yet calls Marriage honourable in all Heb. 13.4 And another Apostle would have honour given unto Women as the weaker vessels and as being heirs together of the Grace of Life 1 Pet. 3.7 Nay the Hebrews err on this extream while they say There is nothing good but a Woman and that he who lives without a Wife remains without good c. They think hither looks that of Solomon in Prov. 18.22 2. This Condemns them who condemn or contemn Marriage it condemns them who live a Monkish life so much in request among the Papists and it condemns that Popish conceit of the Excellency of Virginity as if it were more perfect and compleat than a Married State whence many among them are devoted to it as in their Nunneries c. God was of another mind It is not good said God they are differently minded then it seems from their Maker the All wise God they don't say after him who thus practically say It is good for man to be alone How Monks who professedly live alone and thence have their name Monks will acquit themselves of being of a different Judgment in this matter from their Maker I do not presently see I remember in Church History I have read of one who immediately upon Marriage without ever approaching the Nuptial Bed indented with the Bride that by mutual consent they might both live such a life according did sequestring themselves according to the custom of those times from the rest of mankind and afterwards from one another too in their retired Cells giving themselves up to a Contemplative life and this is recorded as an Instance of no little or ordinary Vertue but I must be pardoned in it if I can account it no other than an affort of blind zeal for they are the dictates of a blind mind they follow therein and not of that Holy Spirit which saith It is not good that man should be alone Nor can I from the same principle be an advocate for such who lead a single Life meerly through Moroseness or Aversation to humane Society or where there is no sufficient lett to a double one and the Maturity of years call for it Indeed where there is a sufficient cause there is nothing to be said against it though what is so to be duly considered And though Batchelours as Mr. Fuller saith of them in his holy and prophane State may be the strongest Stake in the Hedge of the Common wealth and the best work and the greatest merit for the Publick have sometimes proceeded from such while both in affection and means they have Married and Endowed the publick yet were there no other Stakes in the Hedge it would soon fall to the ground for when these are pluck't up what would uphold the Hedge They do nothing honestly towards the worlds continuance encreasing God's Subjects or the Kings and they come under the Condemnation of that Vulgar Sentence Nascitur indignus per quem non nascitur alter that they are unworthy to Live themselves who are not instrumental of giving life to others 3. They do well who in the season of it seek a suitable Companion and so do they who accept being suitably sought to both do well they enter into an Estate wherein there are more hands to labour more wits to advise more means to comfort one another and otherwise to do good They both do well and therefore should not be discouraged in it Parents should not be too hard in giving their consent though the Match is not alwayes to their minds they should remember that they are made in Heaven and that there is a Secret Providence inclining the Hearts of Persons in this matter which they should be wary how they withstand least they should do as Sampsons Parents did who for a while opposed his motion of that nature Not knowing that it was of the Lord. Judg. 14.3 4 Having faithfully and discreetly advised their Children they should not too Tyranically impose upon them We know by long Experience that forc'd Matches any way seldome do well the Persons sought too should not be too hasty in their rejections even there where they don't see reason presently to accept nor indeed is it prudence to be too hasty any wayes in that to which deliberation is called for It is often seen in the World that they who are forward to reject the Marchantable are at last glad of he refuse They should not be too hasty I say in rejecting He that giveth his Virgin in Marriage saith the Apostle doth well 1 Cor. 7.38 And so doth She who gives her self with her Parents leave and though he adds but he that giveth her not in Marriage doth better he only means in some respects and at the present juncture as he said before for the present distress and to avoid trouble as he saith verse 28. If a Virgin marry she hath not sinned nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh and that so she might have liberty for things of a Spiritual nature verse 34. But in other respects and according to the common order appointed by God she doth well They have done well both in seeking and accepting who are the Occasion of our Assembling here at this time and it is with great Approbation I suppose on all hands that we meet to Celebrate it publickly That they may go on to do well let it be our united Prayers 4. Let not them who are not alone but united in Wedlock be as if they were alone though in some respects I grant they should be so and that according to Apostolical precept they that have Wives should be as if they had none 1 Cor. 7.27 i. e. in respect of their minding Spiritual and Heavenly things but let them not be as if they were alone in respect of their duty to each other let not the Husband be so in neglecting the duty of the Husband nor the Wife in neglecting the duty of the Wife

let not the Wife be so by the Husbands neglect nor the Husband by the Wives let them not be unsociable after they have Covenanted and Vowed a consortship and solemnly plighted their Troth to each other better be alone in reality than live so or as if they were so after they are wedded I here add let their Company with each other be better than their being alone Solitariness is better than some Company Yoke-fellows should endeavour to endear one another by their mutual sweet Society A Minister by vertue of his Calling indeed is to be much alone if he is so in his Study he should not be so when he comes out of it too and he should alwayes find that of his Companion to be instar Omnium in the room of and beyond all other To these who are now to be put together I pray they may never be alone more but when occasionally asunder they may yet be present with each other in Spirit and Effigie that God may be alwayes graciously present with them both and that they may draw out the thread of their lives with an equal extent here and inherit life eternal together in the other world It is not good that the man should be alone We come now in the Second place to the resolution hereupon I will make him an help meet for him which doth resolve us in what God did that he did make such an help and in that as an Observation Obser That God did make the Woman to be an help for the man So did Adam call the person God brought to him to be a meet help context verse 23. I shall speak to this in a very few words as few as it can be shown in in what respect the Woman is an help meet for the man and hint the use that is to be made of it The Woman is or should be an help meet for the man in these following respects Scil. As She answers natural oeconomical and Theological ends and how she doth each I shall show presently but I must first take notice that the word here rendred Meet is in the Original As before him Jerom reads it Lake to him the Seventy According to him as before him i. e. In his Image of his own kind like to him which should be as it were a Second self Graceful in his eyes grateful to him alwayes as it were in his sight and assistant in the work of his life lifting as it were over against him as the word is rendred over against him Josh 5.13 So that it issues in what it is here rendred Meet for him Brutes are an help to man for many ends whence they are called Jumenta but they are not a meet help in this sence they don't agree with him specie they be not associated with him c. The woman is made to be and is a meet help to man 1. As She answers natural ends and so is 1. A most sweet and intimate companion and an entire friend there is no stricter or sweeter friendship than conjugal as it was the first in the world so it is most natural 2. Is helpful in the propagating of mankind Ruth 4.11 She helps build up the House 2. As She answers oeconomical ends and so is assistant in Family affairs in the Government of the House ordering things within doors especially for the house is her Center and she should be an help as before him should be a keeper at home Tit. 2.5 Not a rash wrambler abroad the Shell-fish is an Hierogliphick hereof which carries her house on her head like which therefore the painter drew Venus The woman should keep at home Educating of her Children Prov. 1.8 9. 1 Tim. 5.14 Keeping and improving what is got by the industry of the man The wise man finds a glass wherein good Wives may see themselves Prov. 31. 3. As She answers Theological or Divine ends 1. And so is an assistant to him in his Piety and Honesty a promoter of that the Apostle supposeth them Praying yea Fasting together 1 Cor. 7.5 1 Pet. 3.7 So the man and woman as one saith are a Domestick Church Indeed Julian the Apostate Scoft at the Womans being a meet help in this respect in that she was the person that drew man into Sin that seduced him It is true She being seduc'd her self seduced him but it doth not follow but that She was given for another end and often attains it and the missing it then should make Women the more wary for the future And though the Apostle doth suppose them in a Married Estate more involved in the cares of this life 1 Cor. 7.32 33 34. Yet he supposeth them likewise helpers forward of each other in Faith Love verse 16. 1 Pet. 3.1 2. 2. So an helper of his Infirmity a remedy of unlawful Love to avoid Fornication saith the Apostle Let every man have his own wife c. 1 Cor. 7.2 So that Satan tempt not for incontinency verse 5. The woman is a meet help as she answers these ends USE Did God make her for this end Hence first man needed her and therefore now should not despise her 2. She was made for man and therefore should not despise but honour him and yield Subjection to him as her Head the Apostle infers this from her being made for man out of man after man and yet falling before him 1 Cor. 11.8 9. 1 Tim. 2.12 13 14 3. Hence of the more publick Service the man is the greater helper is the woman called to be that becomes his Wife And the more Service she doth to God and her Generation while she doth the duty of her place and is the more happy therein a good encouragement to Marry good Ministers though they should live but poorly and not have their reward in this Life 4. Hence they who be not meet helps do not answer their end they who are an affliction and scourge to man pervert the Order of God and nature and of such an one saith Chrysostome adjutorium Diaboli non viri 5. Hence man is to use her as a meet help as a companion not as a Servant and should again be an help and an head to her Eph. 5.28 6. Hence men may see what Yoke fellows they are to choose and what help to expect from them and they who want may be encouraged for to seek Si qua voles apte nubere nub● pari every good man won't suit every good woman et e contra 7. Let the woman be what she was made for a meet help not an unmeet hindrance that is the description given of the woman in the Text God might have said I will make a woman or a wife but he rather chose this Periphrasis expressive of her Character showing what she should be to her Husband And this is the blessing that I wish to the Bride who now appears here that she may every way answer this Character And to you Sir who are now seeking a Title or rather the Confirmation of your Title in such an one that you may experience according to your desires and expectation and may acknowledge God in his Love hath brought her to you I shall Commend you further to his Blessing when that Office is done you for which you are now come hither Tibi Domine