be prevailed upon by this and much more also True Christian love is grown so rare that often 't is not found among those called Christians in the same family and nearest relations the love and care of each others Souls is that which is least regarded and of all duties of Relations and Kindred this is neglected or forgot Men readily entertain Satans Suggestions in this respect and the best arguments are of no force when opposed by such thoughts as these 'T is not my duty I am not bound to it I think it may go down well with them that so live together as you have advised I think I should like to do so But as for perswading my partner my wife or my husband I have nothing to do with that To preach is the Ministers work let every one look to themselves each take their own way we may do well enough without joyning in Religious duties or at least without perswading one another to them Such are the thoughts of poor corrupted creatures not willing to joyn with Christ in the way of Gods appointment Now to prevent the stop which such thoughts may cause and that without doubting or shifting by excuses you may with full purpose of heart cleave to the Lord I desire you would consider these things 1. Consider seriously of such thoughts as in the presence of God Can you verily think that God will allow of such a plea and excuse does Gods word any where approve or favour it Nay does not his word direct and command the contrary what else is the meaning of those texts Comfort your selves together and edifie one another 1 Thes 5.11 Exhort one another daily while it is called to day Heb. 3.13 Consider one another to provoke to love and to good works Heb. 10.24 If these and the like texts make it the duty of assemblies and communities of Christians to perswade one another for their Souls good much more then is it the duty of neerer relations and becomes a command of greater force to such and renders those that neglect it utterly without excuse Consider what is the meaning of that word of the Lord Gen. 4.10 What hast thou done The voice of thy Brothers blood crieth unto me 'T is the Lords reply to that froward rash answer and inconsiderate excuse of Cain who said am I my brothers keeper And let conscience judge if the like word may not be spoken to you if you endeavour not to preserve if possible a neerer and bosom relation Beware then lest the voice of a perishing Soul cry against thy sinful negligence 2 Consider tho' it were not thy plain Christian duty to endeavour to win thy companion to Gods way by perswading yet be sure it is not thy duty to forbear perswasions And where there is but a probable appearance of doing good common human prudence will set you on perswading if indeed you love But if you reply that these things best come of themselves and that perswasions are for the most part of small purpose consider if men are hardly brought to the way of piety by perswasion will they more easily be brought to it by having nothing said to them for shame blush at such folly 3. Consider if lawful possible promises do bind to duty ought you not to be as good as your word and to do what you promised Now on that account of promise 't is certainly your duty both in sight of God and man You have solemnly promised as in the presence of God and God requires it of you and all true Christian friends and sober Christians are looking how you will behave your selves That you may more distinctly remember your promises I advise you to take these helps 1. Read over sometimes the office of Matrimony as in the Common Prayer-Book and with seriousness and consideration think on your marriage Vow and what you promised to each other when you consented to the married state That is to live together in love according to God holy ordinance I suppose you know that is to be meet helps to each other this is the appointment of God from the beginning And does this Ordinance or appointment of God respect help only in order to the good of the Body and not help for the Soul also I am fully perswaded that none dare say so but that it fully includes the help for the Souls good also And then think whether it be not your duty to defire each the other and endeavour to perswade each other to take the good and the right way for your Souls good to live together according to Gods holy ordinance as you have promised 2. Read over the prayers then to be used and think whether you did then truly desire those things or else minded them not and so mocked God Or do you yet desire those things indeed If you do you must acknowledg it your duty to endeavour to engage each other to that holy practice so to live together in holy love according to Gods Law and that you may see your Children Christianly and vertuously brought up to the praise and honour of God that you your selves hinder not those blessings you then begged of God 3. Read also those well chosen Scriptures that teach the duties of husbands and wives to each other and let them be as notes of memorial to bring you to your Bibles and so to bring you to your duty to perswade each other that you may thro' Christ Jesus come together to God I wish these things may be considered and prevail also I know they are sufficient if seriouslly considered to incline the mind and if that be but made willing I make no doubt but that I shall convince you that you are able and that you can do much by way of perswasion if you please Sect. VI. Shewing that young people are able to perswade one another if they are indeed willing to enter on Gods holy way I Might now justly leave it to your consciences to judg and am confident you must approve in the general of what I am perswading you to But I know that tho' you are convinced that is fully perswaded that you ought to do so yet while corruption prevails the unwilling heart will find some thing to hinder from doing And tho' at last you are convinced that 't is your duty and that you ought to call upon and to perswade each other to lead a Religious life yet you are ready to say or think that you know not how to do it and therefore there is but small likelyhood that you should prevail and therefore you resolve to let it alone altogether You may say I am periwaded that I ought to do it but I cannot tell how to do it and therefore I will not do it Thus an unwilling mind is easily discouraged in this matter especially in such as have not before some savour of Religion and liking to a Religious life To such I answer and say you may endeavour if you are
Adam and Eve and didst sanctifie and joyn them together in marriage pour upon us the riches of thy Grace sanctifie and bless us that we may please thee both in body and Soul and live together in holy love to our lives end Amen These you may use or so many of them as you think best only take heed that you may with the words express the true and hearty desires of your Souls to God alwayes concluding with the Lords Prayer as our Saviour in his Gospel hath taught us to pray saying OUR Father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdom come Thy Will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen And then add The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the Love of God and the fellowship of the holy Ghost be with us evermore Amen A prayer to obtain Children to be used by those for whom it is necessary O Merciful God and heavenly Father by whose gracious gift mankind is increased we beseech thee assist us both with thy blessing that we may neither of us be barren but both of us fruitful in Children and also may live together so long in godly love and honesty that we may see our Children Christianly and Vertuously brought up to thy praise and honour thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen Or instead of these you may make use of either of those that follow which of them you shall think most suitable to your condition to make known the desire of your heart to the heart-searching God The married persons joynt request unto God taken out of Mr. Hieron's help to Devotion THou O most blessed God didst first ordain the married state and it is thy providence by which we which were two are now made one flesh having mutually resigned our selves either to other by our entrance into this holy League It is the desire of our Souls to live together to thy glory and to the contentment each of other This we cannot do without thee for of our selves besides sin we can do nothing unto thee therefore do we commend our most earnest and humble suit that it may please thee so to besprinkle our Souls with the dew of thy grace that from thence may spring a plentiful increase of Sobriety of righteousness and of holiness in our lives Allay in us all sensual and brutish love purifying and sanctifying our affections one toward another that we may in nothing dishonour this honourable state nor pollute the bed of marriage which thou thy self in thy word hast called undefiled but may use this thine ordinance in that holy sort that carnal lusts may be slaked and subdued not increased or inflamed thereby Endue us with a godly care to acquaint our selves with thy blessed word that we may know and understand what duty is required at our hands what authority tempered with love and compassion and freed from all bitterness is committed to the husband what obedience and submission with reverence is commended in the wife what faithfulness in matrimonial duties either to other is enjoyned what providence and care is expected of the man and what assistance and help of the woman And when we know and have learned these things grant that it may be our study to practise them that so the husband may be as a faithful guide to his wife and the wife a crown and credit to her husband Make us wise to observe the natures and dispositions one of another that in all lawful things the one may seek to please and content the other the one may know how to bear with and to forbear the other not winking at any evil in one another but discreetly chusing the fittest opportunities for mutual admonishing without all shews of tyranny in the one or of presumption in the other Open our hearts that we may faithfully and chearfully communicate one to the other that sweetness which we find in heavenly things that sowe may go hand in hand towards heaven And that our chief love and delight either in other may be grounded upon the hope we have that we are heirs together of the grace of life In our family link us together in one common care to oversee the wayes of our houshold to seek the promoting and advancing of thy Kingdom the good instruction and education of our Children and servants Finally O Lord so unite and joyn us together in fidelity of affection that we may ever devote our selves to the procuring of the present and eternal good one of another that so living here comfortably we may reign with thee perpetually in that thy Kingdom which the blood of thy Son hath prepared for those that love and fear thy name Unto which Kingdom O Lord reserve us even for thy Son's sake and for thy mercies sake Amen Another to the same purpose O Lord our God who art pleased to look in mercy on thy poor creatures thro' the Lord Jesus Christ and dost promise to hear the prayers made to thee in his name we beseech to hear our prayers and supplications incline our hearts to pray and be pleased to hear and answer us graciously for Christ Jesus sake Thou O blessed Lord hast ordained the state of marriage and by thy good providence hast brought us together in that holy bond that we might be meet helps for one another And now O Lord we beseech thee frame both our hearts to holy desires to be helpful to each other both in soul and body And help us by thy Grace that we may live together in holy love and assist each other in faith and repentance and sincere obedience to thy holy word and will That we may live together in thy fear and be both of us ever in thy favour Put it into our hearts good Lord daily to pray and call upon thy holy name one with another and one for another Enable us to read thy holy word diligently enlighten our understandings that we may thereby know thy will and quicken us by thy Grace and good Spirit that we may be doers of thy Word And that being taught thereby we may learn truly to sanctifie thy Sabbaths and to give up our selves to thee our God heartily and entirely in frequent serious and solemn renewing the Covenant at thy holy Table in the blessed Sacrament of the Lords Supper and that we may live together as in Covenant with the Lord and do all that good thou hast appointed us in this state and condition of life to which thou hast called us Pardon we beseech thee all our Sins for Christ Jesus sake And all that vanity whereby we may have ensnared each other since our first acquaintance either in thought word or action savouring too much of the flesh and unbecoming
or woman whether they prevail or not If you prevail with an ungodly husband or wife to turn from the errour of their ways to do that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord you shall save a Soul from death Jam. 5.20 And cause joy in heaven which is at the conversion of a sinner Luc. 15.10 A comfort in it self Besides the benefit your self enjoy in the holy conversation of one renewed of whose renewing you your self have been the happy instrument thro' Gods Grace in the Lord Jesus But tho' you prevail not indeed that consideration is sad where there is love to a Soul to have spent much labour in vain Yet there is comfor in this that it is not in vain in the Lord. This was the comfort of the great Prophet Isaiah complaining for want of success and may be yours surely your Judgment is with the Lord and your work and reward with God Is 48.4 If the filthy will be filthy still and the ungodly will be ungodly still their blood shall be upon their own head and you that endeavour to perswade with sincerity have delivered your own Soul and shall ever beaâ— in your bosom that comfortable testimony of a good conscience and peace from God that passeth understanding shall keep and comfort your hearts and minds thro' Christ Jesus Pâ—il 4.7 And he that shall come will come quickly and his reward is with him to give to every one according as their work shall be Even so come Lord Jesus The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you Amen An ADVERTISEMENT To such as have been long married 'T IS possible these papers may come to the hands of such as have been long married or at least so long as to be past the title of new-married people and may therefore think that that this does not concern them But I desire such to consider that it concerns them much every way For either they are such as have lived according to Gods holy way or not 1. If they have indeed lived together in that holy love which these papers perswade to then they speak peace to them from God And give them the joy and comfort of all the blessings proposed as motives and advantages And I doubt not but that they have experience of the comforts of an holy heavenly life and must testifie the truth of what is here advanced And doubtless they do find encouragement enough to go on in that way to the end 2. But if they have not so lived together then they find themselves spoken to in every advice and motive especially in the fourth and fifth Section Every line calls more loudly to such in the words of the Apostle Eph 5.15 Awake thou that sleepest and Christ shall give thee light Have you so long neglected so great a blessing and continued under the curse and tempted the Almighty to give you up to hardness of heart O see the goodness and patience and long suffering of God! Give judgment your selves between God and your Souls Have you not neglected the best way too long And shall not his patience lead you to repentance shall not the time past suffice to have lived without God should not the love of Christ constrain you to this holy love of each others Souls Let it do so then now at the last And set about what is here advised to as new married people should and reap at last the too much neglected blessings 'T is never too late to begin to do well Nay you should labour the more earnestly considering how you have blockt up your own way by your sinful neglect Repent therefore and bring forth fruits meet for repentance Prayers for Gods blessing assisting grace to the married couple These first in order taken out of the publick Office and fitted for private use When you are come home on the Wedding-day or at Evening and so for some dayes after read first those Scriptures declaring the mutual duties of man and wife or else some other portion of Scripture with attention And then kneeling down together endeavour to lift up your hearts to the Lord and say O Eternal God creator and preserver of all mankind giver of all Spiritual Grace the author of everlasting life send thy blessing upon us thy servants who have this day consented together in holy marriage and have engaged our word in truth to each other to live together as man and wife according to thy holy word and have received a publick blessing in thy name Bless us O Lord we beseech thee in secret and grant that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together so we may surely perform and keep the Vow and Covenant betwixt us made and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together and live according to thy Law thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen God the Father God the Son and God the holy Ghost bless preserve and keep us O Lord mercifully with thy grace look upon us and so fill us with all Spiritual benediction and grace that we may so live together in this life that in the world to come we may obtaine life everlasting Amen O God of Abraham God of Isaac God of Jocob bless us thy Servants and sow the seeds of eternal life in our hearts Help us to attend diligently on thy holy word so that we may profit and learn thereby and be doers thereof Look O Lord mercifully upon us from heaven and bless us And as thou didest send thy blessing upon Abraham and Sarah to their great comfort so vouchsafe to send thy blessing upon us thy Servants that we obeying thy will and always being in safety under thy protection may both abide in thy love and in holy Christian love to each other to our lives end thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O God who by thy mighty power hast made all things of nothing who also after other things set in order didst appoint that out of man created after thine own image and similitude woman should take her beginning and knitting them together didst teach that it should never be lawful to put asunder those whom thou by Matrimony hadst made one O God who hast consecrated the state of Matrimony to such an excellent mystery that in it is signified and represented the Spiritual marriage betwixt Christ and his Church look mercifully upon us thy Servants whom thou hast brought to joyn together in the marriage covenant That I may love this my wife according to thy word as Christ doth love his Spouse the Church loving and cherishing her as my own flesh And also that this woman whom thou hast given to be my wife may be loving and amiable faithful and constantly obedient in all Christian love and in all quietness and peace be a follower of holy and godly Matrons O Lord bless us both and grant us to inherit thine everlasting Kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O Almighty God who at the beginning didst create our first parents