in their hands that both themselves and others may be built up in our most holy faith to the perfecting thy Church and the eternal glory of thy name thereby through our Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus Amen Chap. VIII Of the true manner of sanctifying the Lords day Sect. 1. Generally before I go to Church NOw as to my Closet duties upon this day least the sole consideration of them should breed any neglect forgetfulness or disturbance of the duties to be performed in the family and in the publick assembly it will be most expedient to consider the whole duties of that day both publick private and secret and set down each in their natural order First then as upon no day we suppose our Christian to be slothfull so least of all upon the Lords day but to be up in a convenient season both himself and if any are under his charge to see that they are so to A convenient season I call that which every mans health and occasions being considered will agree therewith and leave time sufficient for the discharge of the duties of the day And supposing the publick service to begin generally about nine of the clock between six and seven will be a good hour and all things being well ordered may consist very well with most mens health and occasions And of this time which passeth between my rising and going to Church if an hour and the odd parts be divided between the devotions of the family and the closet so that half an hour be spent in the one and the other half with the odd time in my closet it may do very well and the common occasions of most houses being considered so much time may be allowed If so much cannot be afforded to this work yet let some and what day soever I spend with double prayers I mean prayer in my closet and prayer in my family yet this day let me omit neither It is a bad omen to begin the sanctification of the Lords day by the breach of my ordinary course of devotion and an argument it is likely to be but negligently sanctified by me Besides many in my family may perhaps make no other preparation for the worship of God than what they make by joyning in the family-devotions it will be therefore the more necessary to make sure of thus much Sect. 2. Of secret devotion in the Closet before going to Church NOw my private devotions will be for the main the same this day as others Only in my Meditations it is to be remembred that I examine my self touching my preparations for the solemn worship of God that day and if any thing in my preparatory devotion be wanting any sin unconfessed unrepented of c. in these my morning devotions let that be done And how compleat soever I may conceive my preparations to have been yet let me not in my prayers in private that morning forget to send up some petitions for preparing and assisting grace to the end I may more spiritually go through the duties of the day for the doing of which I cannot Chap. 7. now want directions after a preparatory prayer already considered upon And these my closet devotions it will be necessary be first performed for that they will very well fit me to perform my devotions in my family with more fervency Sect. 3. Of Private devotion in the family before going to Church A digression touching what our devotion in the family is alwaies to consist of THese therefore being done and it being now somewhat above half an hour till the time we usually go to Church I am to call all my family except in extraordinary cases of sickness c. together to prayer at which time all of them who that day can go to Church which should be as many as may be should appeare dressed as they are to go that so after the family devotions performed within a very short space we might all together resort to the publick place of Gods worship Now if question be made what the devotions of the family are to consist of the answer is they cannot well consist of more or less than these two parts Reading and Prayer By Reading here I understand chiefly the reading of the Word of God and that it is the duty of the head of the family either himself to read or cause by some other to be read the holy Scriptures in the hearing of the family none can question who considers those frequent Commands to the ancient people of God to teach their children the Law of God and his judgments and dealings Deut. 4. 9. c. with them Now how they can be taught those things by their parents from whom they never hear of them cannot be understood nor will any reasonable person think thefe commands fulfilled by the meer teaching their children the Belief Lords prayer and ten Commandements though this must be most sure to be done for we find of old they were to acquaint their children of Gods wonderful works in delivering them out of the Land of Egypt And in like manner we Christians to teach our children Gods Miracles of grace in freeing us by his Son out of the bondage of sin which how it can be better done than as God hath thought fit to teach it to the world to wit by the Holy Scriptures none will easily find out Now for the method to be observed in reading the Scriptures in our family that which was above commended for use in the Closet may haply be most proper And if I so order it that I read the same portion of Scripture in my family and in my closet it may be much for my edification the double reading it will set it deeper both in my memory and in my understanding But then least I read faster and more in my family than in my closet and for other reasons it will be necessary that either my Closet devotions go before my Family devotions or that at least I so contrive my readings that what I last read in my Closet I the next time read in my Family Instead of Meditation which was one part of my Closet devotion if in my family I use to examine my people what they have learnt or observed out of what hath been read and where none takes notice of what is mainly observable there suggest it to them it may not be amiss provided it be done soberly without a long deal of prate and medling with curious matters and without vain-glory The Prayers which I use in my family except upon some very eminent occasions may best be the Prayers of the Church These are easie and best understandable and the use of them in our families will sit the plainest people in our family to use them with more devotion and understanding in the publick Notwithstanding I confess my judgment in this case to be that the Injunction of them doth not in strictness reach to private families but there is a liberty leâ—st
observation that is the particular duties to be on them performed But forasmuch as most men keep them ordinarily no otherwise than by a little change of diet taking perhaps fish c. for flesh and feeding neither more sparingly nor much less deliciously than they do on other daies and so make them indeed no fasting daies we must consider both of the Setting apart of daies for private fasting and of their Observation when set apart But first of all it will be necessary to spend a few thoughts upon the nature and ends of Fasting Chap. II. Of the Nature and Ends of Fasting BY Fasting here is meant the Religious abstaining from our lawfull food Lawful food at present we will account that which according to the common practice of sober and discreet persons of our rank and quality is neither too much nor too dainty for us For we may account a man intemperate in his feeding as well by being too delicate and fine and eating constantly on things which are fit chiefly for persons above his degree as by eating overmuch Now not all abstaining from this my lawful food is that Fasting which is here intended for I may abstain for my healths sake or through business or by some accidents upon necessity and all it may very well be without sin and yet not fast as fasting signifies a duty or an act acceptable to God but it must be a Religious abstaining which I can duely call Fasting as at present that name is used Now it will be best discerned to be Religious by the ends which I design to my self therein and by my imployment of my self upon such my Fasting daies First as to the ends and designs See Dr. Hammon Pract. Catech. Lib. 3. Sect. 4. of him who abstaines or fasts religiously The chiefe of them are 1 Devotion or the performance of religious exercises when I fast that I may have more leisure and be fresher for Reading Meditation and Prayer 2. Mortification when I fast to tame my flesh to keep under and beat down my body that it may be in due obedience to the commands of God and reason 3. Liberality when I fast to deal my bread unto the hungry and either deprive my self or feed more slenderly that I may have the more wherewith to relieve others 4. Sympathising with the sufferings of others when I fast out of a fellow feeling of the afflictions of Gods people commiserating their condition and through an abundance of charity desiring as it were to partake with them in their sufferings 5. Exercising my self to the obedience of Christs commands when I fast out of self denial and when I both would and could eat by fasting as by one particular act of obedience to that generall command of denying my self exercise my self unto godliness 6. Diverting or removing Gods wrath and expressing my sorrow and humiliation for sin when Gods wrath either resting upon my country or friends or self or hanging over any of our heads I fast and deprecate it and beg pardon of all those evils which have brought us into such misery and danger 7. An holy revenge or punishment of my self when having repented of some sin for which I am 2 Cor. 7. 11. holily angry with my self I choose thus to punish and chastise my self for my former it may be luxury wantonness or the like When I say out of any of these intentions or with these designs I abstain from my lawful meat I then fast in the sense that fasting â—is now taken for this is thus far Religiously to abstain and no doubt but such abstaining is acceptable unto God if all be as right as my intentions that is if suitable performances or devotions be added touching which rules will anon be considered when the nature of fasting is a little further looked into and it is evident that it is a duty and no such needless matter as men usually seem to take it for if we may judge of what they think by what they do Chap. III. That Fasting is a Christian Duty NOw that none either suspicion touching its necessity or excuse for its neglect may be left it will be expedient to consider what Evidence may be brought that Fasting is a Christian duty And 1. Indeed there needeth little more to be urged for the proving it a duty besides the recollection and summing up those excellent ends to which it serves and conduceth No doubt but to humble my self for my sins to pray earnestly for pardon and for the turning away of Gods wrath are duties No doubt but to keep under my body and make it subject to relieve the poor to sympathize with the afflictions of Joseph are duties now to all these is fasting a meanes and of some of them besides an expression No doubt but to deny my self and to take upon my self an holy revenge for my former extravagancies are duties Now of these is Fasting a part It may therefore hence sufficiently be concluded a duty 2. A further evidence of the same I take it to be that Fasting is Mat. 62 6 15. compared by our Saviour in that Sermon of his upon the Mount which delivers to us the sum of the Christian law or rule of Evangelical duties ranked with Prayer and Almes giving which are undoubted duties and rescued from the Pharisaical abuses of it the true manner of it being insinuated Insomuch that it may be justly demanded how comes it to stand in the Christian law to what end needed its practice to be vindicated from corruption and asserted as it is by Christ to its purity if it were not a Christian duty Besides 3. We find God in its season calling for it of old by his prophet Joel Sanctifie a Fast call an Assembly which place though it intend a publick Fast yet it is evident our Saviour Joel 2. 15 in St. Matthew spoke of those private Fasts which every one is by him supposed to consecrate unto God Who knows not that the Afflicting of the soul touching which we meet with so many commands and such frequent mention in the old Testament doth mainly intend fasting And as to the new Testament further yet though our Saviour once tell us the season for his Disciples fasting was not then come while the Bridegroom was with them Mat. 9. 15 yet at the same time he tells us its season would not be long too and then they should fast 4. Again the constant sense of the world and of all the Saints of God in all ages amongst whom by how much soever any have been more zealous by so much the more hath he been in the exercise of fasting is an argument no whit contemptible of its being a duty Not onely the Saints under the Law fasted and the pharisee too twice a week but the devout Christians have ever been to us ensamples hereof And 5. Which sets it off with more advantage we find not onely the commendation of them for this practice
businesse rather than neglect the great ends of my being If on the other side a considerable part of my time were lost and trifled away as I dare say infallibly it will appear upon due account taken is not this a most unreasonable part in me that I can find time to loose and yet no time to pray And further Thirdly it may somewhat quicken me if I consider that though it should be questioned whether it be strictly my duty thus and thus oft to pray because there may seem to be wanting an expresse command yet I cannot but be sensible that it is my duty to pray and to pray often for this there are not wanting commands and that therefore prayer being a duty and well pleasing unto God the more thereof is performed the more acceptable service do I do to God provided prayer thrust not out my other duties The frequency I say can never offend except in the case of neglecting other duties to per. forme it and herein commonly men are not apt to be guilty Suppose it therefore not to offend in this case being that it is a duty it must please and please the more by how much it self is more Now this to ingenuity is no mean incentive unto prayer that hereby I please my God and delight heaven Fourthly Let me consider that as Prayer it self is the most powerfull and effectuall means that a Christian can use for the effecting of all he would so there is no prayer more powerfull than that which is most frequent and importunate In generall as to the power of prayer it is such that it seems to have done violence to omnipotency it self as in the case of Moses when God as though graciously held or restrained bids him lot him alone and in Exo. 32. 10 Isai 45. 2. some causes if duly performed God hath as it were allowed it to command him But what or whose prayers are they which are thus powerfull Surely not theirs who so seldom come to heaven that if it were for nothing else but because they are such strangers they would not speed but theirs rathers whose daily and frequent application of themselves to the throne of grace hath rendred them there well acquainted and favourites We may therefore observe that the most absolute and encouraging promises of being heard are made to the importunnate suitors The widdow in the Luk. 18. parable whom injustice it self could not deny was such and therefore sped because such because she came so often And that precept each gradation of which hath a promise proportionably attemporated and fitted thereunto as it prescribes so chiefly encourageth importunity that is frequency as well as fervenâ—y It is noâ— said onely Aske nor onely Math. 7. 7. Seck but both and Knock besides The last alone viz. Knocking implies frequency and therefore much more do all the three And to the Knocking as being of all the three the clearest denotation or expression of importunity it is promised It shall be opened as if it had been said those who onely aske and seek may come to speed but those who knock those who are oft and and earnest in their prayers shall have the treasures of heaven opened and free to them out of which to take full satisfaction and supply Now because all these things are so therefore can it not be but that the benefit of such practice must be unspeakable which as another and for the present the last incitement unto daily private devotion is worthy my consideration First as to the inward temper of my heart which rightly to dispose and so disposed to keep is a matter of the greatest concernment to an holy life there can be nothing thought of more effectual than such practice nor can it indeed well be conceived how that mans heart can be kept in a thorow sense of his duty and close with God who maintaines not some such daily course of devotion as is under present consideration 1. The maintaining hereof will keep alive in me a continual fear and awfull apprehension of God it will habituate me in all my wayes often to think upon and remember him Now there is nothing the apprehension of which is of more wholesome consequence unto a man than of God and his all-seeing eye One who is sensible and mindfull hereof cannot be long vain but if he do forget himself at any time will soon return to his old seriousnesse 2. Such practice will also much conduce to the keeping of me humble as being sensible of because often minding my sins my sins I say from my youth up to my present years my present years my perpetual pronesse and frequent relapses unto vicious courses These being matter of my daily confessions thoughts and meditations cannot but in some good measure keep under any towring oâ— proud conceits which I am apt to have of my self 3. It will also make and keep mâ— tender affectionate and truly Zealous in my service of God Therâ— will be in me an habitual preparation for all dutyes insomuch that I can no sooner be at them and have engaged my self in them but with â— great deal of vivacity and readinesse of Spirit and with many inward meltings of heart I shall converse in them this being not onely my daily but my frequent practice at least frequent endeavour 4. It must therefore much increase all manner of Christian graces in my Soul inasmuch as grace according as we now speak thereof is nothing else but the due disposition and resolution of the soul which as is evident will be the natural consequent and fruit of such practice Secondly it will have a very wholesome influence upon my life as in all cases else so especially in this that I shall at no time carry on any designe which I dare not bring unto the test of heaven and beg thereon the blessing of the God of Holinesse Lastly the mercies which I receive in my own person in my relations in all my affaires as procured and impetrated from God by these my daily and frequent prayers will be innumerable and that inward comfort and clearnesse of heart with which I shall entertain and receive these mercies or any thing else which comes from the hand of my gracious God inexpressible The same mercies evidenlty are not the same to all men no more than are the same chastisements But to whomsoever mercies are greater mercies or afflictions lesse afflictions it cannot be but that to him who thus conscientiously daily converseth with God all must be most kindly Now the consideration of all which I have thus meditated cannot sure but move me to some measure of diligence in these duties If therefore at any time negligence begin to grow over me it may be of good effect to read over and duly to weigh these or the like motives that I may be quickened to resume and proceed with my proposed course and what that course should be it followes in the next place that I
and such mercies as we want c. according as we shall see occasion and either use the ground-work and substance of those our usual prayers with such amplifications as we shall judge meetest or for that time in stead of them use such other prayers as we shall find best to suit with our temper and occasions for the preparation of which prayers directions will hereafter be given In the mean time for better understanding and comprehending the precepts given as also for the supply of such who may haply be scarce able to frame to themselves such a form it may not be amiss to subjoyn one for morning and another for evening framed according to the former rules Chap. IX A Form of Prayer made according to the former accommodation which may be used in our morning Privacy THe Christian then having read and meditated as before directed let him reverently kneel down lifting up his hands and eyes but most surely his heart to Heaven say O Almighty and most Blessed God Lord of heaven and earth who makest the outgoings both of morning and evening and by whose good hand upon me thy creature I am awaked out of my last nights sleep and being risen here present my self before thee I humbly bow to thee my knees and therewith my heart and soul and desire with all that is within me to adore thy blessed Majesty But most unworthy and of my self most unsufficient am I to perform unto thee any worship or service What is dust and ashes and such am I if I were innocent to take upon it to speak unto the Lord But I O God am a guilty wretch one whom i◠becommeth to stand a farre and shame covering my face to cry Vnclean Vnclean My soul is naturally overrun with lusts as with an universal Leprofie there is no free part of me My childhood and youth have not onely been vanity but sin I have done nothing else therein but fulfilled the desires of my flesh and mind My corruptions have onely grown with me and my sins since become so much the more sinful by how much the more knowledge I have had of thy will and strength and engagements to have performed it To this very day as indeed I ever have done I daily break thy holy Laws in thought word and actions by choosing what thou hast forbidden and neglecting what thou hast commanded ** * Here confess any particular or fresh sin committed or duty neglected which in thy examination of thy self thou hast found In all my ways I most miserably transgress My very a sleep it self O Lord is not innocent Nor is it thus onely in the common and more ordinary actions of my life Those few good deeds which I do have many not onely †Remember in the use of these or any such words to reflect in thy thoughts upon any particulars which thy conscience tels thee they may fitly represent to God touching thee infirmities but sins in them and I have need to repent of my very righteousness of my †*** I therefore so desire to do and am here come before thee as thou hast commanded me to confess my sin unto thee with hopes according to thy promise that I shall find mercy I have O God confessed to thee as I am able Now Mercy Mercy let me find with thee through Christ Jesus my Saviour Remember that atonement which he made by the bloud of his Cross In those streames throughly wash away my filth By those Wounds let me be healed and by his Death let me atttain a blessed immortality * * Particularly let me obtain the pardon of * And send down thine holy Spirit abundantly into mine heart which may renew me throughout according to thine Image healing all the naughty inclinations of my soul and begetting in me an hearty love unto holiness and a constant fear of thee my God that I may have respect unto all thy Commandments and walk before thee all my dayes with a perfect heart Quicken me also by the same thy good Spirit to give all diligence in every duty and especially in ** that I may grow in grace and in thy favour and daily come nearer unto salvation and thee And forasmuch as I my self am unstable as water preserve me by thy power through Faith that I fall not from my integrity nor depart wickedly from thee my God Especially keep thy servant from his iniquity or his iniquites of *** and make me most watchful against all those * Here thou maist have many private and proper reslexions and so generally wheresoever the same mark is set occasions and wiles of sin by which I have been formerly insnared My outward condition during all the dayes of my pilgrimage here on earth do thou order to thy glory and my own good and if it may be thy holy Will grant that it may be so far quiet and prosperous as that I may serve thee chearfully and without distraction Be gracious also O Lord unto thine Holy Church and to this Church especially Watch over us daily for good and be pleased to bless and preserve the Kings Majesty his Queen and all the Royall Family Grant that all Magistrates may be faithful both to thee and to their Prince and Country in their trust and that all Ministers of what degree soever may be sober watchful servent and successful in thy work Let the whole Nation and especially this neighbourhood grow in the true knowledge and fear of thee Visit with thy grace and blessing all my †Relations my †Friends and †Benefactors Forgive and reconcile both to thy self and me all mine †enemies Comfort relieve and in thine own good time deliver all thy servants †who are in any distress inward or outward and sanctifie both to them and me all thy dealings causing all things in the end to work together for good according to thine infinite Power and Wisdome whereby thou over-rulest all events For which thy gracious administration of the whole course of nature and the multitude of blessings appertaining both to this life and that which is to come which thy providence incessantly heapes upon all mankind and particularly upon me thy most undeserving servant for ever blessed be thy holy Name Especially may Heaven and Earth ever praise thee for the redemption of the world by thy Son and the knowledge of thee through him revealed in thy Word and the mighty workings of thy Spirit thereby And be thou pleased to accept of that praise which thy servant hereby returnes thee as great as he can for them all and particularly for this last nights refreshings together with the comfortable restoring him to the enjoyment of day Grant me thy special Grace that I may spend my time to thy Glory and may be all the day long in thy fear Keep me that I fall into no sin nor run into any danger And accept thou this my morning service and to gather me who here devote my self to
〈◊〉 through my Saviour Christ Jesus in whose Name I further pray as by him taught when I pray to say Our Father c. Chap. X. A form of prayer made as the other which may be used in our Evening Privacy IN like manner the Christian having entred his Closet with some such ejaculatory or short prayer as before directed to and having read and meditated as in the morning may I presume very profitably use with such alteration as his condition shall require and his discretion direct the ensuing Prayer O Most Holy and Gracious Father the searcher of all hearts who seest my down-lying as well as up-rising darkness and light being both alike to thee who art near unto all my wayes and espiest my thoughts while they are yet afar off I have here set my self before thee to pay my evening homage and desire to present both my soul and body as is most due a living Sacrifice to thee my God who hast made and redeemed both But most unfit O Lord are they to be to thee presented every part of both being naturally corrupt and abominable and nothing in me free from the loathsome defilement of sin My soul is desperately wicked and all its powers perverse and bent upon evil My mind alienated from thee through the ignorance that is within me My affections unruly and masterless My will full of enmity to thy Law and enslaved to the service of divers lusts and pleasures And as to my body in iniquity O Lord was I shapen and in sin did my Mother conceive me And ever since have all my members been servants unto iniquity and instruments of wickedness With my whole man have I obeyed the law of sin and fulfilled the desires of my flesh and corrupt mind I scarce can think of that sin in which I have not had my hands one part of my time or other In sin O God have I spent not onely my vainer age and the days of my ignorance but my ripest years and those of fullest discretion which I have yet attain'd to Since the light of thy Gospel hath shone into my opened eys since thou hast touched my heart with a sense of that evil which there is in sin so wicked and perverse a servant have I been that knowing my Lords will I have both neglected to do accordingly and presumptuously done contrary unto it To the very present time O Lord how †frequently and how †sadly do I backslide What †liberty do I allow my self How †heedlesly do I converse I walk at a meer peradventure with thee my God Notwithstanding all my vows and promises of watchfulness unto obedience this very day how little hath thy fear been in my heart and from hence comes it to pass that I have so miserably departed from thee by ** * Here confess any of the miscarriages of the day which thou hast been supposed to have taken notice of in thy meditation With what stripes therefore do I deserve to be beaten And how righteous a quarrel against me hath not onely thy Justice but thy very Grace and Mercy Notwithstanding O Blessed Father give thy poor creature leave to beseech and let him prevail with thee not to take that advantage against him which justly thou mayest Rather now thou hast borne so long break my heart by this thy goodness and make thy forbearance and long-suffering to lead me to repentance Vouchsafe unto me thy sanctifying Spirit Let it fill me with an holy shame of my former wayes And let the sense of my own unworthiness towards thee beget in me an holy indignation against my self a passionate and constant zeal by future diligence as far as is possible to redeem and repair some of my lost and most sadly mis-spent time Let my heart be never void of a stedfast purpose of serving thee in the impartial performance of every known duty especially of *** and careful avoidance of every sin * Here put in any thing for which thou findest occasion And having thus given to will do thou of the same thy good pleasure give also to do following the preventions of thy Grace by the continual assistances thereof so that I may proceed from one virtue unto another perfecting holiness in thy fear and keeping a conscience void of offence towards thee and all men And this my cordial purpose and perseverance in endeavours of pleasing thee do thou through the bloud of my Saviour graciously accept laying not to my charge any of my former sins nor visiting upon me either the neglects or transgressions of my duty At least however thou shalt here deal with thy servant in the last day acquit him of all guilt and through the merits of thy Son let him obtain remission of his sin and an inheritance in thine everlasting Kingdom In the mean while as to the necessaries of this present life give thy servant what thou pleasest and what thou seest best for him even food convenient Thou needest not O God my service but accept my ambition of being serviceable unto thee and bless me both with strength and opportunities for it and if it may be thy holy will with success therein Father I pray unto thee also for all men forasmuch as thou art a God who wouldest have all to be saved and to come unto the knowledge of thy truth especially for all and every member and members of thy Universal Church and for the particular Church of this the Land of my nativity For the Kings Majesty the Queen and the whole Royal Family for all that are in authority for the several Stewards of thy Mysteries the Ministers of thy Gospel for him in particular to whose oversight thou hast committed me that thou wilt give unto them all according to thy most gracious pleasure the blessings both of this life and that which is to come especially such measures of thy Spirit that every shoulder may be fitted for its burden and all amongst us may faithfully serve thee according to their several degrees so that this whole Land may be blessed with abundance of prosperity and peace so long as the Sun and Moon endureth Forget not peculiarly to shew mercy unto the relations friends helpers and well-wishers of thy servant Reward I beseech thee all their love and forgive good Lord divert and put an end unto all others malice or enmity Let thine eyes be ever open upon and the bowels of thy compassion be moved towards all thy wanting and suffering servants Support them under and graciously deliver them out of all their distresses and let the end be peace and righteousness and blessedness for ever Thy servant will speak yet once more and praise thee for thine infinite love and compassion to that miserable nature of which he is a partaker in revealing to us when we had lost or corrupted it the knowledge of thy self both by the light of Nature and most clearly by thy holy Word in sending thy Son for our redemption
the same or like punishments as their fathers had and greater Then 2. I cannot but note how slowly and unwillingly God comes to judgment Thus much those words O Jerusalem Jerusalem suggest to me Our Saviour I see cannot foretell this desertion and rejection of the Jews without a lamentable taken up O Jerusalem Jerusalem So unwilling is he to punish that he even weeps at the very thoughts of it This is a very affecting consideration and of special force to quicken me to repentance and is therefore to be noted to that purpose Lastly Examining further according to the rules proposed whether there be no instance of Gods judgments against sinners no threat to deterre me from any sin or the like I find there is and cannot but stay my thoughts a while upon this heavy denunciation of woe against those who were outwardly Gods own people for their rejecting the offers of grace and upon foolish prejudices not acknowledging or not being willing to see the light which yet they could not but see And if God spared not the natural branches how much less will he spare me who am onely grafted in out of the wild olive if I be guilty of the same sin It concernes me therefore in this case to look into my self the very reading of this Scripture ought to be to me a warning And let me see Am I not guilty of the like resisting light and rejecting grace What do I else when I sin presumptuously and onely not wilfully Do not I then shut mine eyes against the light and offer violence to the convictions which come from those Scriptures whose Authors the Jews were rejected for offering violence unto They rejected their living testimony I not onely that for that I have in the Scripture but the very voice of their bloud by which they sealed the truth of their testimony Oh sinful and ungracious wretch Now if any such as this be my case let my meditations here rest a while Let me consider whether in this Scripture which hath thus convinced me of sin there be not somewhat which may reclaim me And truly there is 1. That which hath already been mentioned Gods unwillingness to punish his patience and forbearance And hath not this been great towards me How often have the warm offers of love and pardon invited me as they did them May not I say God would have many a time gathered me under his wings And do not these very warnings that if I am not reclaimed I must be forsaken speak Gods present unwillingness if any thing will work to forsake me Is not this as much as an O Jerusalem Jerusalem Again 2. I here see that though God bore long with his people he would not bear alwayes being that they did persist in resistance of his Grace And truly I know not how soon God may call home from me his opposed Spirit and suffering his Grace no longer to be abused leave me as he did the Jews in my own stubbornness and wilfulness to perish After this sort may I employ a while my thoughts and if time will suffer thus oughâ— I so long to meditate till my moved heart have taken up full resolutions of following the guidance of Gods Spirit and yielding to his Grace And these warnings or convictions from the Word together with my resolutions upon them should I if able register in that other of my Books which I call my Accomptal or if not take such solemn notice of that I forget not But if any necessary matter force me to depart my privacy before my meditations arive at such a ripeness yet let me not fail to take notice of the warning which I received and set it down in my Accomptal that so upon my * fasting day when I review the actions of that week I may be sure not to forget it but to humble my self for my former miscarriages and consider for the future how I may turn my feet into new wayes But to return to the devotions of this present day So much onely remains now to compleat my present meditations as to consideâ— what of new from all will be seasonable to be added to my accustomed Prayers And here will be First Matter of confession touching my resisting Grace and not walking according to the light which I have had Secondly Matter of praise 1. For these warnings which are so many calls to repentance and invitations to happiness 2. For the testimony which the Gospel received and doth to this day receive by the doctrine and death of St. Stephen and for the constancy faithfulness patience charity and meekness which shone forth in him Thirdly Matter of Peâ—ition 1. For grace that I may from henceforth yield unto all motions of Gods holy Spirit 2. That when ever God shal call me to suffer as he doth frequently by the crosses oppositions frustrations c. which I meet with in the course of my life I may manifest the like meekness patience charity holy resolution and mindfulness of God by prayer and all other seasonable duties All which having considered how I may in some sober and orderly way express or represent before God let me either insert in my wonted prayers or in some short prayer to be added to them comprisâ— as well as I can A pattern whereof very particular it will not be so expedient to set down here but rather so to frame a Prayer with some respect to the foregoing heads as that it may in general be accommodated to or used upon the Feasts of any Saints or Martyrs A short Prayer which may be added to our ordinary prayers upon the feast of any Saint or Martyr by our Church appointed to be kept O Lord the God of truth and holiness who at sundry times and in sundry waies hast revealed thy self unto the world by thy holy Prophets of old and in these last daies by thy Son of whom thou hast since in all ages raised up thy Saints and Servants to be witnesses I humbly bless thee as for all the revelations of thy will confirmations of thy truth so especially for the testimony given thereunto by the life a The word doctrine is chiefly to be used upon the feasts of the blessed Apostles doctrine and b If the feast be not the memorial of a Martyr the word death is to be left out death of thy servant St. S. whom thou madest unto the world not onely a witness of thy truth but a pattern of holiness and I beseech thee to pardon both all my opposing and all my holding in unrighteousness those truths which either he or any other of thy servants have preached or left on record I acknowledge and bewaile may guiltiness herein Keep me blessed Father for the future at least from all such presumptuous sins and grant that the same Spirit resting upon me which dwelt upon them may beget in me the like humility charity * * Here insert the mention of any Christian virtue in which
thou hast observed the Saint whose memory thou celebratest to excell diligence resolution and perseverance in all holiness Let me as they both in life and death glorifie thee according to my measure so that amongst those heavenly Hosts and blessed Society of thy Servants I may have some though it should be the lowest place eternally to praise and enjoy thee O Fathers Son and Holy Ghost one most glorious God Amen Chap. V. Of what remains to compleat my private Festival-devotions to wit Almes-giving SOme time besides what my ordinary course requires being thus spent in Reading Meditation and Prayer suitable to the particular regard of the day it onely remaines to compleat my devotions that according as God hath blessed me I set apart somewhat for the poor for it is not certainly my self or my rich neighbours onely which I am to feast upon Holydaies and however it may be I cannot give in my closet yet I may in my closet and at the end of my devotions most conveniently cheerfully and religiously and it may be most liberally consecrate what I can spare to such pious use by separating it from the rest which I reserve for ordinary uses And somewhat every Holyday would I cast to have thus to consecrate to God though it were the less By the observing this course I shall commonly if not alwaies have wherewithall to relieve the wants of such whom I meet with and find to be truly indigent which if I do not use my self to some such method I may haply many times want a stock for Whether to distribute it in money or in that which is bought with my money may be more suitable to the wants of those whom I relieve a little Christian discretion will easily direct And the more to enforce this practice let me consider how naked miserable and stingy solemn thanksgiving is without somewhat of Almes giving Then surely I rejoyce in a way most becoming the mercies I and mankind have received when as many as I have wherewithall coveniently to help have cause to rejoyce for my rejoyeing and on the contrary if being able by doing but what is my duty at least what I well may to revive poor and disconsolate persons I suffer them through my close-handedness to groan under their distresses upon daies of publick joy what a blemish is it to those daies joy and what want of Christian goodness and charity doth it bespeak in me I should rather be greedy and ambitious to make all the world rejoyce with me Now for the making at least thus much of Almesgiving an act of my private devotion no one willj presume to be dissatisfied who either considers the premises and the nature of the thing or what our Saviour saith touching this matter Let not thy right hand know what in this Mat. 6 3. case thy left hand doth Let therefore I say my charity crown my devotions and as I put out that whatsoever it is which I have to devote unto God for the relief of his wanting servants it will not be amiss to use some short ejaculation directed unto his allseeing Majesty by which I may express my chearful offering it unto him that is my setting it apart for the poor whom he hath commanded me to succour and promised me a blessing if I consider Psa 41. 1 Now that may be done in some such words as these O Lord whose is the earth and the fulness thereof I offer unto thee what by thy gift and blessing I have this small testimony of my thankfulness and duty to be bestowed upon those wanting ones whom thy providence shall give me opportunity to relieve Be thou pleased through the bloud of my Saviour to accept it and pardon all my vain expences The using some such course as this proposed will make me more liberal in these my acts of charity for how can I offer niggardly to this my bountiful God when I am conscious to my self I have somewhat considerable if I will well husband all which I may devote to him yet not abridge my self or mine either of necessaries or conveniencies and hereto I shall be the more quickned if I remember I offer to God who both gave me and sees all I have Now whether I may upon such a day meet with opportunity to my mind or such a person to bestow it on as the discretion of my charity could wish or whether I cannot yet let me account it really given to God and therefore separate it from the rest of the store so that ever after I may look upon it as devote and not to be touched except to distribute it to the poor But if any fatal necessity should constrain the meddling with any part of ought thus separated let me religiously observe to return it again to the poor mans purse or stock with an expiatory usury that is with somewhat more which may make recompence for my first diminishing it And thus we will leave the private devotions of Festivals and consider in the next place what will be meet to be performed on the Lords day Chap. V I. That the Lords day ought to be kept holy and what that means TOuching the observation of the Lords day though I judge them indiscreet friends unto it who referre the institution of it mainly to the fourth Commandement yet I put the keeping of it holy so far out of all question that I cannot but account him very unchristian who either is slightly herein himself or goes about to possess others that they may be so without sin The 1. naturall justice of the The true gro 3nds of sanctifying the Lords nay sum med up 1 Cor. 16 1 2. thing that there should be some time set apart amongst the Christian community for the publick and solemn worship of God 2. The antiquity and authority of that Apostolick canon recorded partly in express terms in Scripture and if it were not sufficiently manifest by their practice which hath set apart this time 3. Our Saviours honouring this day with his resurrection thereupon which gave occasion to its being set apart 4. The custom of all Christian Churches through all ages and from the very Apostles daies 5. Nay the practice of our Lord himself on this day meeting his assembled Disciples are all of them arguments beyond contradiction and warrant sufficiently divine that it is to be esteemed consecrate or set apart to the worship of God And then the force which the fourth Commandement in equity bears that what time is set apart or consecrated to God should be sanctified that is spent to those separate purposes and intents for which it was set apart which I say is the meaning of sanctifying or keeping holy any time sufficiently and beyond all evasion enjoyns its being kept holy it being supposed once to be set apart as it is before proved to have been And certainly if as is undeniable it be the duty of every Christian as much as may be to
keep all his life as a perpetual Sabbatism Hebr. 4. 10. or holy rest unto God it must needs be an argument of a very profane worldly and unchristian spirit not to afford God this day free from sensual pleasures and worldly cares or labours Wherefore I say the keeping holy of the Lords day I put out of all question and would have no man flatter himself that he is a devout Christian who useth either by idleness or pleasures or unnecessary worldly business to profane what the Church and being that the Church hath done it by good warrant and power transmitted to her by Christ God himself hath allowed Profanation I call it for if the spending it to holy purposes be to sanctifie it then the spending it contrarily upon ordinary or unworthy practices is to profane it And if we may not give that which is holy unto dogs it is then surely most intolerable to take that time which by divine Law ought to be holy unto God and give it to his enemies the devil this world and our own lusts which we do when we spend the Lords day either in idleness pleasures or needless worldly matters Works of charity or mercy are acts of holiness and works of necessity so far forth as they are works of necessity are acts of mercy and consequently the doing of either of these that is works of Charity or Necessity when due occasion calls me thereto is rather sanctifying than unhallowing the Lords day especially if I do them out of duty towards God and in his fear and for this I have his warrant who tels Mat. 9. 13. me that he better accepts Mercy than Sacrifice Chap. VII Of Preparation for the Lords day A preparatory Prayer thereto SEeing then that the Lords day is to be kept holy that is to be spent in the worship and service of God for which it is set apart it concerns me to consider how I may spend it in a way most complying with this its design or intendment And I shall easily upon the very consideration of the nature of Gods worship be convinced that it is in a manner impossible for me duely to sanctifie it if I come unto it hot and wreaking from my worldly business For being I am to worship God in spirit and in truth with all my mind soul and strength and in a word with my whole man evident it is that I am unable so to do while my heart yet remains unemptied of the world and being unfit to worship God I am not while so in a due state to sanctifie this day Wherefore the right sanctification of the Lords day is to begin with Preparation And it is a right wholsome institution that upon the Evening before it there should be Prayers in every Parish Church which is grown now too much into disuse by reason onely that I can imagine of the degeneracy of the age If there be such custome kept up in my Parish I would not but upon necessity be absent from those preparatory prayers At which though I should be supposed to have been present yet would I not content my self therewith but whether I have been imployed publickly in preparations or not in my course of devotion on Saturday night take so much more time than I do ordinarily as might serve for some preparatory Meditations and Prayers The least which I can do to this purpose in my Meditations is First To examine whether there be not some sin or sad miscarriage of the week past which lies unrepented of and so may blast my next daies performances And if any there be secondly to consider of it more particularly its aggravations its nature whether it be not such an one part of the Repentance for which must be Reconciliation Restitution or somewhat like and accordingly to apply my self to what I in my conscience and in the fear of God do judge due repentance Thirdly to endeavour the emptying my head of worldly at least distracting cares to bid them be gone now till a day for them return And lastly so to contrive as neer as I can all my affairs for the next day that both I and my family may have as little avocations or matters to call away our minds from holy duties as may be This by way of Meditation My Prayers must be suitable to my condition If any such sin as before mentioned be found that must be confessed bewailed and pardon craved together with grace for the future against it which may be done by putting in the mention of that sin in the proper space left for such purpose But besides this it will be necessary to add some particular petitions for due preparation or disposition of heart for the duties of the next day First for a quiet setled and composed mind so that I may attend with all my soul my holy concerns or business Secondly for enlivened affections that I may not be dull and heartless but of a tender and melting spirit Thirdly for a pliable ductile yielding and easie mind that I may mix the word with faith and render the obedience of faith Lastly because both my own and the Congregations benefit and edification much depends upon the Ministers due and affectionate discharge of his office it is therefore fit I forget not him but commend him to the assistance of the Spirit To which purpose the following prayer may be either inserted in some fit place towards the end of my prayers or added to them O Lord from whom the preparations of the heart are The day now approacheth which being holy unto thee I am to spend in thy more solemn worship Many sins there are by me not duely repented of which may justly bring upon me a curse instead of a blessing Especially my * Here insert the mention of such particular sinnes which thou hast found thy self guilty of c. may make my very prayers an abomination to thee But accept thou I beseech thee of this my confession of them and at least desired sorrow for them Turn my heart from them for the future and through the bloud of my Saviour so remove the guilt of them that they may not hinder good things from me Let the effusions of thy grace both upon me and all the Congregations of thy people be plentifull Let my heart be fixed and none either vain or worldly thoughts lodge within me this night Quicken me by thy Holy Spirit that I may draw neer unto thee with a true heart and be fervent in Spirit in thy service and with a good and honest heart receiving thy word may understand and keep it and bring forth fruit with patience and unto perfection Remember thou thy servants who are to dispense thy Mysteries unto thy people and especially him upon whose teaching I am to wait Pardon their sins and frailties Open their mouths guide their minds and tongues that they may deliver thy truths in the demonstration of thy Spirit and let thy work so prosper
about my business remembring not onely how displeasing it is to God but how unprofitable to my self to draw near unto him with my body onely and honour him with my lips when my soul is afar off Whatsoever I hear of the Word read or preached I must remember all along to apply unto my self not carping at or censuring the Preacher but taking all in the best sense Possibly it may be long of my sins he did no better or so ill nor looking so much how it concerns others as my own particular state and manners And if there be any thing which more nearly toucheth and concerneth me that let me be sure by some means or other to keep or set home upon my memory perhaps there may be some place of Scripture cited to confirm explain or illustrate it let me note that place and the being able to find it may in case I am forgetful bring the matter to my remembrance The exercises of divine worship being all ended I am with the same reverence to depart the Church with which I entred it not rudely hastily and disorderly as the common manner of the multitude is courteously saluting any of my neighbours which I have occasion to salute and that with inward love and good will remembring that the ancient Christians had such an usage at their Assemblies as the Kiss of Charity it is but Christian therefore for me to use a charitable and chearful Salutation of any of my Christian neighbours Sect. 6. Of due behaviour between the Moruing and Evening Service My return with my family home should be with the same gravity and care with which was my passage to the Church my talk rather of what I heard or learnt than of any worldly matter except necessary occasions enforce the contrary And being come home one of my first businesses should be to step aside into my Closet if possibly I can and there according as I have found my my self affected to apply my self unto God If I have been awakened to any duty raised to any hopes of Gods favour strengthened in any of my holy resolutions informed of any thing touching which I was ignorant or the like there briefly to bless God for it if I have been dull and improfitable there to bewail it both which may be done after this or some such sort I Bless thee O Lord my God for the comforts of thy House for thy awakenings of me to my duty for any softenings of my heart and sense of thy love or hopes of injoying thee hereafter Not unto me O Lord not unto me who am a vain hard-hearted sinful wretch of my self but to thy holy Name be the praise Now encrease I beseech thee this thy goodness to me and confirm me in thy Grace evermore Let me grow in the knowledge fear and love of thee and any impressions thereof which I have this day received suffer me not to loose but enable me to bring forth fruit unto perfection to the glory of thy Name through Jesus Christ my blessed Lord and Mediatour Amen If this prayer may not suit with my condition it may be presumed that as I have knowledge enough to see it doth not so I have abilities enough in some tolerable way to represent and bewail before God my barrenness heedlesness worldliness carnality and whatever other great distempers I find in my soul which accordingly I ought briefly to do And this being done let me recollect my self and view over in my mind those severals which I have that day learned or been affected with for this will further imprint them upon my memory Less than a quarter of an hour may suffice hereto and though haply sometimes I may see occasion to allow more yet so much sure I may afford at all times Having thus fastened upon my spirit my spiritual gains I now depart to my company for the necessary refreshment of my body which this day was not appointed to abridge me of Let me therefore be chearful and eating my meat in singleness of heart rejoyce before my God but let not my joy by any means be wanton idle vain or intemperate Of the rest of the time which passeth between the publick duties of the day the imployment ought to be sacred at least wholesome and such which may not indispose me for the remaining part of the daies work and hereof much care is to be had First As to my discourse touching which if it be the Apostles Precept at all times to be observed that our speech be alway with grace seasoned Col. 4. 6. with salt certainly more specially ought it to be such on this day And though it cannot be accounted absolutely sinful to converse about secular matters of concernment if occasion so require yet 1. To be wholly taken up with these cannot but argue a greater care of this world than sense of Christianity if so be there be any truth in that speech of him who is infallible Out of the abundance of the heart the Mat. 74. 34. mouth speaketh And 2. To be needlesly meddling with such affairs or idly busying our selves about other mens actions and concernes which are the ordinary subject of mens discourses after dinner on the Lords day is at the best but a mixture of worldliness and vanity and it is made the character of naughty men that their tongues walk through Psal 73. the earth Secondly As to my actions care too is to be taken It is not questionless unlawful upon due occasion that is on account of mine own or others necessity or considerable conveniency to put mine hands to an ordinary action as is evident Luk. 13. 9 5. from our Saviours both doctrine and practice But as abovesaid of discourse so now of business to be needlesly imployed in worldly matters and ordinary work cannot but be some kind of profanation of the day as being contrary to its sanctification that is the spending it to other uses and ends than those for which it was set apart And albeit in this case no certain perpetual rule is to be set the conditions of men being various but each mans Christian discretion and piety ought to mete out to himself what he in his own conscience and in the fear of God considering his occasions judgeth fit in which we are not one to judge another notwithstanding I cannot think that man takes such care of himself as he ought or is duly cautious of indisposing his heart for his duty who can constantly suffer all this time between Morning and Evening service to pass over with him without any thing of devotion either in his privacy or family or just as the same time passeth over every day This I say cannot be to sanctifie the day because not to separate it from common and to use it to distinct ends Soon therefore after dinner ended amongst all the family it is meet that I call the younger sort and set them to the learning their Carechisme and as to
forgetfulness should betray me into the breach of them Sect. 6. An exemplification of the former Rules in two sins NOw to the end that this most necessary practice may be as plain as possible it may haply conduce to set down some particular examples in which those general rules may appear practised And for asmuch as it was before said that all sins of which we shal find our selves frequently guilty are either such which are rooted in our particular complexion and so may especially be called our iniquities or such which by some outward occasion as converse or manner of living we fall into one instance shall be of such a sin which is commonly too too much rooted in mens natures or particular Crases to wit Vncleanness the other in such an one which though haply a man may be naturally inclined to yet commonly may be more truly referred to the head of contracted than of in-born evils and that is Trifling away our time or idleness First then suppose that upon examination of my self one sin where of I find my self guilty is uncleanness and this I find diversly to have run through a great part of my life Touching this certain it is that I repent not of it as I should if I set not my self to root it out Wherefore according unto the rules laid down I thus proceed Being come now so far in my devotions upon my fast day as to Meditation and having in my Meditations chiefly imployed my thoughts upon my self whereby I have found my self guilty of this sin I set upon the repenting of it To that purpose I endeavour to sorrow for it I therefore consider first how grievous a sin that is in it self And in this case it may be that good practical book which I have chosen to my self to read and study may much help me and discover to me the grievousness of it in its own nature This being done I consider how grievous my commission of it is what particular aggravations all my actions of this kind admit Here I open this my book and examine it by those aggravating particulars mentioned All which cordially employing my thoughts upon I endeavour to affect my soul therewith and to work in my self a loathing of such courses This sorrow will work repentance to wit First a resolution against what I loath and then an endeavour against it as well by consulting remedies and means against it as by putting my self into a way of using such means And the result of my Humiliation thus far I as breifly as I can register in mine Accomptal in some such sort as this A. D. Januar. Fasted I found my self guilty of Vncleanness This I considered to be in it self a very grievous sin 1. It defiles my very body makes me loathsome 2. It debaseth and dulls my soul 3. It is that which nature it self is ashamed of 4. God most perfectly hates it and therefore when he expresseth the vilest sins calls them Whoredom 5. It is one of those sins which God seldom suffers to escape unpunished here 6. I shall never be able to like my self or have any inward content in my self while I practice it 7. Perseverance in it will undoubtedly destroy my body and health as well as soul Each of these and more than these as God shall be pleased to assist me in my Meditations I am supposed to have attently considered My particular commissions in this case have the following aggravations They have been done so long 1. Knowingly 2. as I find it with my self 3. Against my vow of baptisme expresly c. Whereupon most humbly begging pardon of God I resolved with all my might to endeavour against it To that purpose I considered of these means against it 1. Spare diet frequent fasting avoiding high meats 2. Spare sleeping not lying down till sleep compel me rising early or at least as soon as sleep leaves me 3. Hard usage of my body lying hard using prostrations or tiring postures in my prayers c. 4. Praying often and much conversing with God in holy duties which will make me ashamed of such carnal delights and sordid injoyments 5. Avoiding light company light discourse gestures looks c. 6. Considering death and that in its pomp and terribleness looking much on Sceletons dead mens sculs bones or contemplating consumptive and gastly visages 7. Not venturing my self on any opportunities or temptations to it These I then resolved to practise and will therefore frequently râ—â—â— over Amen But it may be this is not my sin however it will teach me how to deal in humbling my self for that which is Suppose then I find my self guilty of trifling away my time There is no repenting hereof without amendment But what course may I take to be truly penitent for it The answer is I must proceed as before Meditating Resolving Consulting and by all means confirming my self against it And the result of what I am to register in my accomptal may be thus Such a day Fasted I found my self guilty of trifling away my time I considored the grievousness hereof 1. This is truly idleness what name soever else I give it For idleness is not the doing nothing but the not doing what I should when I should Now idleness is undoubtedly a grievous sin â—â— having not only its own guilt in it but the guilt of many more sins which it occasioneth 2. This is the frustrating the end of my being as far as in me lies a living to no purpose and that how unworthy it is of a reasonable creature 3. I must needs be unprepared for Heaven and my great accounts while guilty hereof Every hour stands on record in Gods omniscience and I cannot it may be give account of three hours in a day 4. How evidently do I ruine my self not onely as to the future but as to this present world hereby What might I do and be were I careful of my time Further for me to do this how grievous is it 1. I know it to be sinful 2. When I have remembred my duties to be undone I have yet neglected them against the present warnings of my conscience 3. How many waies have I been engaged against this So much so worthy work to do and so much of my time already spent c. Easie it is hereby to see how I may proceed according to my particular state These Meditations being finished and as briefly as I can entred it remains that I enter my resolution of endeavour against this sin as before and then study meet remedies thereto Now this sin not being alwaies natural to them in whom it is found but adventitious it concerns me to consider as before admonished how I came to be guilty hereof and to suit my remedies to those occasions 1. It may be I am busied about many things and so either neglect all or what chiefly concerns me my proper duties Perhaps I cannot endure that which should be my business but am fickle desultory and
through Christ according to the promise of the Gospel that I doing thus my sins shall not be laid to my charge as being taken away by the cross of Christ in whose merits I have through this my faith and the mercy of God to me a share Sect. 9. Of Prayer upon such Fasting dayes THat which will much heighten my affection in this my repentance and further complete all its parts yet remains to wit prayer which as it must on this occasion and day be more large and particular than ordinary so I cannot now want matter for it after such consideration of my condition and of the way how I am to seek for pardon of sin as is supposed if the former rules have been observed to have foregone particularly I am to frame my prayers or at least to alter them as neer as I can to my condition 1. Confessing my several sins and that not without those aggravating circumstances in which I formerly considered them 2. Representing before God my sorrow my resolution of heart against them 3. Begging his grace to assist me in the fulfilling my godly purposes and pardon for all my sins whether known and confessed or as yet unknown to me To these heads my Christian discretion may add more according to my particular condition To wit if any judgment rest on me or mine or is feared by reason of these my sins I may implore deliverance from it If any mercy is expected or by me aimed at which I fear my sins may most justly hinder or blast I may importune God for the granting it or otherwise apply my self as occasion serves Now as to the form or outward manner of my prayer if I am able to pray otherwise I shall not haply on these occasions see it alwaies fit or convenient to use set or composed forms for that there may be many particular affecting circumstances of my sins which no form will express so plainly as I have need to express them for the moving my sorrow If therefore I find my heart ready and so composed that I dare venture upon what we call a conceived prayer which being of mine own invention by the assistance of the Spirit may more perfectly suit with my condition in all than one framed by another to my hand having either noted in a paper before me the substance or matter of my Confessions Petitions and Thanksgiving which paper for memories sake I lay before me when I kneel down to prayer oâ— else so considered of as that it will be ready I may spend a few thoughts touching the particular expressions by which I intend to represent this my mind to God To this purpose these two practices may be helpfull 1. To read any part of the woâ—d of God which being I dayly read some of it I may know to be suitable to my present case If I find mine heart hard let me read some affecting working place Such I may be presumed to have noted as I have read in my course If I find it tender let me read such place or places as may nourish this tenderness or raise me to to an holy joy and delight in God and these duties which I perform to him And in like manner in other cases 2. To recall and consider such fit expressions of the particular materials which I am to set forth before God as I may be presumed to have observed and treasured up in my memory or book in my ordinary course of reading After such premeditation with an holy fear I am to endeavour to pour out my inward conceptions before God as fitly and as fervently as I can But I must not think that fervency lies in loud speaking but in the inward affection of the soul notwithstanding if my closet be so situate that I may judge I cannot be heard without I may many times find that it will conduce if not to the affecting me more yet to the keeping my mind more close to my business for me to speak in a voice exceeding a private whisper But let me be never so able a person and my heart never so fixt to use a form so far as where occasion shall serve to leave it a while to wit where I would confess or ask more particularly may keep my prayers from being loose imperfect broken and disorderly and consequently make my devotions riper Now such an one is this which followes O Thou Great Holy and Fearful God unto whom all things are naked and open and before whom as being of purer eyes than to behold iniquity nothing that is unrighteous shall stand I even blush and dread to appear before thee For in me there is nothing but iniquity that thou canst behold Iniquity indeed is too soft a word I am nothing but filth I have sinned against Heaven and before thee and am so far unworthy of being called thy son that I am not fit to be called thy servant but deserve rather as a rebell as a faithless and treacherous wretch against thy Majesty to be destroyed of the Destroyer to have all thy wrath and plagues to meet in me and to be made unto the world an example of thy severity and revenging justice that by me men might learn no more to presume and backslide But there is mercy with thee O Lord that thou mayest be feared and sought unto Nor hast thou as thou hast protested any pleasure in the death of sinners but art so desirous that they might return and be healed that thou hast not spared thy very onely begotten Son but hast given him to seek and by death it self to save the lost sons of men promising that of all those who through him come home unto thee thou wilt by no means cast off any I come O Lord at least I have here set my self in the way to come and bewail my departures And let not my Lord be angry and I will consess I have O God a most corrupt nature and heart full of impurities and abominable things as a cage of unclean birds She was innocent in comparison of me out of whom came but seven devils I may most truly stile my self Legion such swarmes of lusts do possess me The Wheresoever in this prayer the mark †is found the Reader must not forgot to consider particularly touching those expressions whether they fit his condition lusts of the flesh †Intemperance Idleness Uncleanness the lusts of the eyes †Covetousness Envy the Pride of life †conceitedness of my self Ambition and proud Wrath are things familiar to me rooted and grounded in my heart And that truly Lord not so much by nature as by continued custome and wicked practice I have my self made my soul more depraved than I ever received it from corrupt nature That I am dull and heartless in the performance of all holy duties that I am vigorous and active in the serving my lusts and pleasures and the fulfilling the desires of my flesh and mind that I am vain heedless and