Search my Soul so to the bottom that none of my wounds may fester but be all discovered and cured consider from whence I am fallen before and since the last Communion and repent and O that I may be so sensible of my sin and misery that I may be truly apprehensive of and thankful for infinite love and mercy I dare not presume to compass thine Altar most holy Lord before I have washed my hands in Innocency and purified my heart by Repentance and Faith in the blood of my Redeemer I will now therefore call my sins to remembrance and set them in order before mine eyes and remember mine own evil ways and my doings which have not been good and loath my self in my own sight for my iniquities and for my abominations O I am not able to reckon up or remember my innumerable breaches of thy most holy Commandments The 1. By not knowing acknowledging thinking remembring chusing believing esteeming adoring loving desiring fearing obeying of trusting joying in acquainting my self with not demeaning my self towards thee as God and my God but preferring sin self Satan the world any thing before thy self The 2. By mis-apprehensions gross conceits of thee not setting my whole delight in reposing all my confidence on expecting all my happiness from addressing all my complaints prayers praises unto thee not worshipping thee as to manner and means agreeable to thy word The 3. By not acknowledging or effectually remembring and delighting to speak of thee as I have had occasion to make thy praise glorious or doing it irreverently dealing falsly in my Covenant with thee not vindicating thy Honour not grieving for thy Dishonour weariness of thy commands non-observance distrust misapplication of thy providences unthankfulness for great mercies dejection impatience under small crosses insensibleness incorrigibleness under judgments and afflictions not using thy Name Attributes Ordinances Works every thing whereby thou may'st be known as is required The 4. By unmindfulness beforehand to prevent or avoid whatsoever might distract in the duties of the Sabbath not preparing my self not resting from needless thoughts words actions mis-spending it in idleness and vanity not performing publick and private duties of Prayer Reading Hearing Examination wheting thy Law upon my heart and others contemplating thy Word and Works with that care reverence sincerity spirtualness profit delight as I ought not calling the Sabbath a Delight Holy of the Lord Honorable The 5. By not behaving my self answerable to my several Relations with all due reverence and respect to my Natural Ecclesiastical Political Parents in heart word behaviour prayer thanksgiving for Superiours covering their infirmities in love not admonishing and encouraging Inferiours in well-doing not by a grave wise holy exemplary carriage procuring glory to thee and preserving the honour and authority thou hast put upon me not regarding the dignity and worth of my Equals or rejoycing in their gifts advancement prosperity as my own The 6. By sinful anger hatred secret grudges injurious thoughts excessive passions distracting cares immoderate use of diet labour rest recreation reviling saddening provoking grieving speeches falling short in maintaining mutual Friendship and in following peace with all men sowing discord among Brethren concealing their dangers unprofitable conversation quenching suppressing holy suggestions preferring things of time before eternity or by whatsoever may tend not to the health but prejudice of my own or others Soul or Bodies not weeping with them that weep being sensless hard-hearted unaffected at publick evils and others miseries The 7. By unchaste thoughts purposes affections looks company words actions or listening to them not labouring to quench my fleshly concupisence by watching over my senses heart and ways not shunning all occasions to or acts of uncleanness in or with my self or others not keeping my bodie and soul from all filthiness of flesh and spirit but making my heart a cage of impure thoughts my mind a stie of the unclean spirit The 8. By unbecoming arts in Bargaining not dealing with others as I would men should with me not endeavouring by all just means to procure preserve and further the welfare of others as well as my own withholding good from them to whom it was due suffering Christ to stand at and go away from my door hungry cold naked succourless and when the leanness of his cheeks pleaded pitie the hardness of my heart would shew no compassion The 9. By slandering backbiting detracting reviling harsh flattering misconstruing discouraging sinister intentions words and actions listening to and spreading the faults of others not charitable in my thoughts and speeches to them not freely acknowledging their gifts and graces not readily receiving a good report but willingly admitting an evil one not discouraging tale-bearers flatterers slanderers not loving desiring rejoycing in caring for defending and upholding their good name not sorrowing for and covering their infirmities but practising or not avoiding my self or not hindring what I can in others such things as raise jealousies and suspicions procure an ill name to my self or others The 10. By self-love evil thoughts covetousness inordinate prizing and affecting distrustful distracting solicitous care and study in getting keeping or using temporal things discontent with my own estate envying and grieving at my neighbours unlawful motions and affections to things that are his And to these I have added multitudes of sins against the Gospel by not as I ought labouring to acquaint my self with it Ignorance flighting of not sufficiently esteeming admiring thankful for that infinite love in my Redemption not loving rejoycing in Christ and him Crucified relying on owning of him in all his Offices accounting all things loss and dung for him not taking that pains I ought to know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings and to be made conformable to his death if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead and be made perfect as my Father in Heaven is perfect Not claiming his promises as my heritage nor esteeming them the joy of my heart and as unsearchable riches exceeding great and precious not believing prizing embracing of hoping waiting for the good of them with so much readiness and steadfastness as their excelcellency and certainty requires and applying them as I ought to this and the next life not careful they have their due effects on my Soul in making me partaker of the divine nature not dying daily to sin nor acting growing in grace and in the knowledge of Christ not thirsting after righteousness and that poor mournful meek merciful pure Spirit that shall be blessed not confessing but being ashamed of Christ before men and my relation to him not denying my self taking up my Cross and following him Not doing all things to the glory of God nor rejoycing in him always Not receiving not doing the good nor improving time mercies judgments forein perturbations national discontents and divisions irreligious confusions domestick distinguishing favours as I ought Strangeness
Covenant all the actions of our lives become holy and so we are holy in our Shop by diligence and justice at our Board by temperance thankfulness charity Abroad by an innocent useful conversation in our Closet by Prayer and Meditation yea prudence and the ends of health and chearfulness will make our sleeps and recreations holy and not to be reckon'd among pastimes but the necessary seasons of doing little or nothing that afterwards we may be worthily imployed A Christian behaves himself not for such a set number of days as if so much time were to be spent in Holiness and so much in sin but as if he accounted his whole life an opportunity of serving God and of cleansing himself from all that filthiness which will not let him see his face He receives daily what daily profits and so lives that he may daily receive it A Holy Life is a perpetual Sacrifice and he that so lives keeps his heart as an Holy Altar alwayes warm and glowing within him he offers up daily such Sacrifices as are acceptable to God and prepare him for a due commemoration of this great Sacrifice a constant abstinence from all forbidden things and care to perform such duties as maintain a lively sense of God in our Souls would make us vehemently hunger after this Heavenly Food A circumspect life makes us both fit and desirous to converse with God every day good Actions beget in us greater longings after grace and good desires make us still do well out of hope to have more grace when a good man lifts up his heart to God he draws down God into his Soul that he may work with his hands that which is good in his employment in which he is not so busie that his hands should grow so heavy or dirty by it as to be unwilling or unfit to lift them up again to God Such a Combination is there between all that God requires to make them easie and familiar pleasant and desirable and our obedience impartial and universal A holy behaviour in our calling converses and use of the creature disposes us to Acts of immediate worship that requites and returns the kindness by disposing and fitting us for a holy deportment for the future which is it self an invitation of God to our souls much more when seconded with the Attractives of Holy Prayers and affectionate desires The sweetness of such converses with God and the power of his Grace consequent upon our hearty desires engages and enables us to a holy conversation which brings us from familiarity with the Devil to fellowship with God the happiness of which is so great that it excites us to do all we can to maintain and prevent our being tempted from it Good Hearts daily mortified and strictly watched over like dry wood with one blast kindle the flame of love stir up the Grace of God in them while those soaking in the world like green sticks all their puffing blowing and prayers will scarce fetch any fire Oh! would I every day prepare for the day of death or which is of a like consideration the day of Communion nothing less will sit me to Communicate then to depart hence set my self in order meditate often everie day on Christs first and second coming not stay a minute but instantly grieve for severely condemn my self and renew my resolution to amend all and pray for particular strength against whatsoever I have observed amiss would I consider where I fall oftenest from what principle this default comes what are the best remedies and pass on to a real and vigorous use of them Did I resolve to have God frequently in my thoughts to bring it to pass to have so great a dread and reverence of him that I may be more reallie ashamed troubled confounded to sin in his presence and observation then of the severest man's and to have a perpetual intercourse and converse with him Or would I actually attend to what I do and consider everie action and speak so little that I might consider it I should find that upon the day of Communion I should have nothing to do but to Revive my Graces â—y Prayer Praises and the exercise of â—evotion Actual Preparation HOliness is our profession and all the time after one Communion is the â—â—me of preparation for the next and eâ—ery Receiving a repeated conspiracie aâ—ainst the Interest of the Devil He that 's â—lways well vested will deck and trim â—gainst a Wedding day wise Virgins â—o forth to meet him having Oyl in â—heir Vessels and their Lamps burning â—ut when they hear the Bridegroom 's â—oming they arise and fall afresh to â—imming their Lamps to snuff them â—â—ir up the fire and apply the Oyl to â—â—ake them burn brighter and clearer â—â—ow another repast approaches I must â—eny my self lawful things sequester â—â—om my ordinary business abstain from â—â—e most lawful enjoyments and chastest â—mbraces that I may give my self unto â—â—ayer and more fully know the state of my Soul with a greater intention anâ— ardency of spirit examine my self eveâ— about the coldness of my Prayers 〈◊〉 neglects in the daily review of my self the smalness of my sorrows the weakness of my services my daily neglects ignorances and unavoidable infirmities aâ— to God my self relations and others iâ— an especial manner any failing since thâ— last Communion If there be but a littlâ— passion a rash word a vain thought c and besides my sorrow and afflicting mâ— self for hatred and amendment of it just after its commission I am now tâ— bewail it over again to call my self tâ— a strict account for it to drown it iâ— another flood of tears more firmly tâ— strengthen my resolutions against it anâ— prepare it to receive another wound 〈◊〉 mortal stroke from the wounds of Jesus that it may never live more more deeply apprehensive of the evil of sin morâ— sorrowfully bewail it more rationallâ— resolve against it open a greater vent anâ— passage for my tears affect my heaâ— more deeply with my needs and the certainty of supply and so raise my self to 〈◊〉 greater height of humility desire and confidence to excite my appetite and more lively apprehensions and vigorous affections rouze my thoughts and meditations to a greater fervour more solemnly to recollect what I have learn'd to stir up my remembrance and renew a sense of my wants and weaknesses to imprint the ends of the Institution more firmly in my memory to consider what Acts are most proper when I shall be at his Table to stir up those affections before-hand which will prepare a more lively expression of them when I come there To renew acts of Charity and forgiveness pass by all injuries and offences be reconciled perfectly to my brethren and to take care there be not the least grudge or spark of anger that lyes buried in my Soul unquenched all passions husht and laid the Soul smooth fair and not a wrinkle upon its brow More strictly and
niggardliness unto inconsiderateness of the worth fearlesness of the loss of my pretious Soul caring more for the Body then it or others not troubled for such as are negligent poisoners murderers of theirs Not sufficiently convinced of humbled for the corruption of my nature mind conscience will affections of the evil of sin and lying under the wrath of God hiding excusing lessening of not making that narrow search after not being grieved for my sins in any proportion to their multitude and greatness as considering that wretched injustice follie and unkindness I have expressed by them loving darkness hating the light receiving the grace of God in vain turning it into wantonness crucifying the Son of God afresh tempting grieving the Holy Spirit hardly forsaking my beloved sin for thy sake who hast freely given thy only Sow for mine That carefulness that clearing of my self that indignation that fear that vehement desire that zele that revenge that watchfulness resolving striving against sin improving all advantages for avoiding and subduing it I find not that is wrought in those who sarrow after a godly sort nor applying my self with all earnestness to the onely means of pardon end reconciliation in the Gospel Time and strength would fail me to repeat how oft I am partaker of Family National Church other mens sins by setting an ill example provoking consenting to conniving at countenancing permitting sin where I might correct or hinder it hating my brother in my heart â—y suffering sin upon him Delightful societie with evil doers taking pleasure in the cause of my humiliation to see them pave their way to Hell with their own â—ands making that matter of sport which nothing but the dearest drop of the hearts â—lood of God could expiate laughing â—â—t that which makes damned souls shed â—ivers of tears they shall be damned that â—ave pleasure in unrighteousness By not â—eeking the things of Christ as my own not preferring Jerusalem above my chieâ— joy not having the care of the Church lying upon me My heart trembles noâ— for fear of the Ark nor is my soul vexeâ— from day to day with their unlawfuâ— deeds among whom I live Oh how little do I mourn for the suffering of others for the signs of Gods anger for the sins 〈◊〉 the times when do I go apart and mounâ— for Englands crying abominations or looâ— upon London a sinful Citie and weep ovâ—â— it And oh the infirmities imperfection iniquities of my holy things Oh hoâ— much carelesness unpreparedness impenitency unbelief pride hypocrisie uâ— spiritualness earthliness formalitie slightness deadness heartlesness distraction indisposition weariness want of relish attends my attendance on so great a Majestie Unanswerable walking resting 〈◊〉 the meer outside of duty when I do not eâ—joy Communion with thee in them And dare such a guilty abominable sâ—ner sit down with thee at thy table such Dog that hath so often returned to his wâ—mit go and take that which is so holy such a Swine wallowing in the mire haâ— to do with those precious pearls that hath already so often trampled them under my feet carelesly neglecting or unworthily receiving those holy misteries rather defying them then adoring thee by bringing such troops of my Saviours professed Enemies unrepented sins along with me as if I came not to commemorate but to renew his Passion to crucifie him afresh Oh I have much reason to fear I am guilty of the body and blood of the Lord by earing and drinking unworthily in that I have not hungered and thirsted after nor partaken of it so often as my necessities and opportunities required nor approached it with such a solemn Preparation Examination Humiliation and cleansing the secrets of my heart from all sin nor renewed the Covenant-Conditions Faith and Repentance nor received it with that reverent behaviour and those inward dispositions nor been so especially careful in making good my Covenant Engagements and Resolutions as becomes a worthy Communicant Oh how can such a loathsom wretch go to be entertained by thee in so near a Communion that cannot expect that am below the least good look from thy gracious eye Oh how dare such a vile miscreant presume to drink of the Cup of Blessing who have deserved such a curse from thy hand as that thou shouldest hurry me to thy Bar of Justice and not admit me to the Seals of the Covenant of Grace to be covered with shame and confusion of face while thy Children come with boldness and present themselves before thee array'd in the righteousness of thy Son whilst they are lifting up their heads with joy knowing the time of celebrating their Redemption draweth nigh I may be hiding my self in the Dens and Rocks of the Mountains saying fall on me and hide me from the face of him that sits upon the Throne Dragged away by cursed Fiends to the place of Torment with hideous scrieks to an innumerable company of Devils and Damned Souls instead of going to the house of God the assembly of his people with the voice of joy and gladness with a multitude that keep holy day While the Sun of Righteousness arises with healing in his wings unto those that fear thy name thy wrath may burn against me as fire and consume me as stubble The day of joy and gladness feasting and rejoycing sacrifice attonement to thy sincere servants may be a day of wrath and trouble darkness and gloominess distress and desolation to me while they with joy of heart are saying come let us go unto the house of the Lord oh our feet shall stand within thy Gates O Sion thy Courts O God! I the great day of his wrath is come and who shall be able to stand In stead of holding out to me the golden Scepter thou mightest break me with a Rod of Iron and dash me in pieces like a Potter's vessel while they are rejoycing and giving honour to thee at the Supper I might lie under the wrath of the Lamb lifting up mine eyes in Hell begging a drop of water to cool my tongue I might see them sit down with the King at his table and my self thrust out into that place where is nothing but weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth Thou art ready to entertain those that are bidden but I am not worthy for making light of thy provision and invitation preferring the things of the world before it thou mayest justly say I shall never tast of thy Supper or if I go it might be not for the better but for the worse I might meet with a frown instead of a smile a blow a breach a curse instead of a blessing Thou mayest in stead of bread give me a stone for the Cup of the New Testment a Cup of wrath and Trembling Thou mayst turn my heart into a stone instead of turing my heart of stone into an heart of flesh The bread of life may be to me a stone of stumbling and a rock of offence to fall on me and grind me to
holes in his side Oh what fight a fire a flame of love did I see in his blessed Heart and my self pourtray'd upon it my name among the rest oh with what joy and comfort to my Soul he hath set me as a Seal upon his Heart love is strong as death many waters of affliction cannot quench it nor the floods of trouble or persecution drown it might all the pleasures profits honours of the world be given for it it would be utterly despised Oh how easie find I his yoke how light his burthen methinks I could watch or pray do or suffer more believingly more couragiously than ever It was the voice of my Beloved that knocked saying open unto me my Sister my Love my Dove my Undefiled he put in his hands by the holes of the door and my bowels were moved for him my Soul failed when he spake I sought him in every part of the Ordinance and he was found of me I called him and he gave me answer I sate under his shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet to my taste He brought me to the Banqueting house and his Banner over me was Love His left hand is under my head and his right hand doth embrace me A bundle of Myrrh is my Beloved unto me he shall lye all night betwixt my Breasts he shall be still in my heart by affection and Faith I will make him my continual joy comfort and refreshment and solace my self in him in all estates Oh that his name may be graven upon my heart and his Image remain fair and lively upon my Soul Oh that I may find a kind of unwillingness to admit of any other company when I come to converse with other things let me still be looking towards him as my only desire good and happiness let my heart be so filled with him that other objects may not come near or make any strong impression on me Oh that some lively coles of that holy fire kindled at the Ordinances may be still glowing in my Soul that the savour and tincture of it may be never done away Oh how can any other pleasure seem any more pleasant to me Can I desire the husks the Swine do eat when there is such Bread in my Fathers house no man having drunk old wine straightway desireth new for he saith the old is better Sure he hath been little affected nor had any taste of Gods sweetness presently to relish worldly things to wash off his palate the savour of spiritual with sensual or secular thoughts Abrupt chopings off from Holy Duties is such a quenching of the spirit as tends much to hardning the heart such sudden quenchings of spiritual heat got in an Ordinance cannot be without much danger to the Soul motions so quite opposite are as prejudicial as unbecoming Is it fit or seemly to leave the company of our Lord so soon as we have let him in and divert to other occasions associate our selves to other persons now we have newly given him our Faith and taken him as the Bridegroom of our Souls and not rather delight in the presence of our new love and keep our heart from cooling by laying on new fuel turning the remainder of this day into an after supper a second Communion In reviewing and being humbled for our coldness distractions miscarriages In blessing God for the liberty and opportunity of a Sacrament and the priviledges thereby confer'd upon us in ruminating on and retaining the savor of those pleasant things we have been entertained with exceedingly gladded in the sense of that love we have been tasting and celebrating in the belief of that pardon we have received in the hopes of that Grace and Glory that hath been assured to us In considering the obligations we have laid on our selves In heavenly discourses with our beloved in expressions of our love and affection towards him acts of desire after inseparable union with and greater likeness unto him in vows and promises we will alwayes be faithful and loyal to him in entertaining him with acts of love and delight thanks and praise with the best chear we are able to make our new our beloved guest in commending his beauty praising him for his kindness and favours extolling his riches admiring his perfections and graces talking with him about the affairs of our Soul in opening to him every room in it leading him into the most private recesses of our heart shewing him all the secrets of it acquainting him with all our wants and weaknesses spreading before him all our desires and fears hopes and griefs In praying for help and assistance to be steadfast in his Covenant interceding with him for all mankind especiall our Fellow Communicants In telling him again all we have is his in tying a new knot upon the band of the Covenant between us craving him pardon for our follies desiring him not to be offended at the dark and noisome hole into which we have brought him entreating him with all loves that he will not take exception at his poor entertainment even charming him to stay and dwell with us by all the songs of praise and thankfulness we can devise Subsequent Duties after the Sacrament AND now my utmost care and diligence is required to express the power and efficacy of the Ordinance in living more fruitfully religiously watchfully in making good my vows and promises at the Sacrament That heart and life therefore may be sutable to my Sacramentall obligations and may witness the good received in and by it oh my Soul Make a solemn reflection on thy self and entertainment How was my heart and behaviour before God what welcom did he give me Reflection is necessary after every duty what good have I got what warmth of affection what more love to desire after delight and confidence in God what greater ability and love to discharge duty to bear affliction to resist temptation to walk in Gods ways so especially after the Sacrament was my Heart hard dull indisposed I must then suspect my miscarriage in preparation or performance and labour to find out be truely sensible of greatly bewaile and humble judge and condemn my self and beg pardon for the cause earnestly importune him that he would now help me by Prayer and Humiliation to recover the benefit of the Ordinance that I may by an after act do that which I should have done before Sorrow for and sense of our senslesness is one fruit of Christs death we undoubtedly receiv'd in the Ordinance We may not judge of our gain by and profit in duty by our present feeling or that the only evidences of Communion and acceptance with God are our Souls lifted up and ravished with sensible joys our uprightness and sincerity in the performance of our duties and in our covenanting with God and continuing stedfast therein may administer most ground of comfort when we reflect upon it for we were then really acceptable to him that look'd down upon us and received from
him a seal to the promise of pardon and eternal life though he did not testifie it by giving in extraordinary joys He looks not so much at fits of passion as at the steady bent and tenour of the Soul The truest Communion with God is to enjoy the Communication of his Graces whereby we are made conformable to him we may enjoy the saving influences of his Spirit when we cannot feel his more abundant consolations Though this Ordinance be not at present joyous yet may afterwards yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness to those that are conversant therein It cannot be well known what Grace we have received further measures of which are the holy Spirits accompanying those means being the great benefit we are apt to expect till we come to the exercise of it in duty and against temptation But oh how much cause have I to rejoyce in his love and goodness to render him hearty thanks who might have left me as well as others to my self for his quickning and refreshment for his satisfying me so abundantly with the fatness of his house and making me drink of the river of his pleasure especially now I find and oh that I could more and more such real benefit received by it my soul more deeply broken and humbled under the sense of sin and that become more loathsom hateful burdensom to me My heart truely thankful for what I have enjoyed and sorrowful I have enjoyed no more more strongly engaged and resolved to inward and universal holiness my Faith in Christ more encreased and setled my love to him more inflamed my Soul strengthned and emboldned to undergo any thing for him my spiritual delight and joy in him raised and lessened to other things my esteem and valuation of the Ordinance heightned my Graces in it exercised my desires after full enjoyment of God and Christ in Glory more enlarged If he were pleased to kill me he would not have received a burnt-offering and a Meat-offering at my hands neither would he have shewed me all these things nor as at this time have given me to experience such things as these Oh that I may always retain a thankful sense of all his benefits Oh how much am I beholden to thee my God I have been praising of thee but nothing to what I ought or what thou deserv'st Oh how can I cease to magnifie thee for what I am and have for the use of thy creatures and thy blessing with them for every crum much more for Christ that foundation mercy that hath all mercies folded up in him and entail'd unto him that sweetens and sanctifies every mercy for this Feast on his Body and Blood for the joys of thy house and the viands of heaven for any measure of life and affection raisedness and comfort grace and goodness Bless the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me bless his holy name While I live I will praise thee I will sing praise unto my God while I have a being and what is here wanting in thy due praise I will pay hereafter in everlasting Hallelujahs Rest not in the work done though done never so well Beware lest by spiritual pride and future negligence thou lose the things thou hast wrought Had I done all as well as was commanded me I would say I am an unprofitable servant I had done but my duty but O how short come I of it Oh let not the Lord lay to my charge my want of due preparation my coldness and indifferency distraction and unbelief my so many failings before and at the Ordinance that my heart was in no better frame that I took no more paines with it to fit it for thy self that it was no more broken for my sins when the Minister broke the Bread that when I took it I was so dull so dead and did no better reach forth the hand of Faith to lay hold on and apply Christ and his benefits so play'd the hypocrite before thee and my fellow Communicants that when the Wine was poured forth and I saw how Christ shed his Blood for sinners I scarce dropt a tear for the cause from a heart sensible of my sins and his love unto my Soul when I took and drank the Cup I did not remember him as I ought that my heart was not so seriously intent and reverent so deeply affected sutable to the importance and excellency of the duty and the Majesty of him with whom I had to do Spend some time in strengthning and confirming thy holy purposes and resolutions O that some fruit may be seen of this day till the solemnity return that the thoughts and meditations I had there may be so strongly so deeply fixed and rooted in the bottom of my heart that nothing may be able to pluck them up that I may be so sensibly possest with the perswasions that Christ is in and united to me that when a Temptation comes and knocks for enterance I may readily naturally say I am not he that I was before the property of the house is quite changed I live yet not I but Christ in me I was indeed a common Inne to entertain all-Comers but now I am become the sole Habitation of the High and Holy One he expects to be honourably treated like unto himself he will have no competitors or unclean thing in his house I cannot arise and open to you Oh how shall I treat him who hath taken up his abode with me shall I take the members of Christ and make them the members of an Harlot defile that body wherein he hath chosen to reside force him out of his habitation by any impurity offend him by any noysom thoughts or unsavoury breath out of my mouth shall those hands that have received the sacred Elements work deceit those Eyes that have been filled with tears at the Lords Table be fill'd with envy those teeth that have eaten Holy Bread â—grind the face of the poor those lips that have touched the Sacramental Cup salute an Harlot the mouth that hath drunk consecrated wine be full of rotten discourse shall I be so greedy of the World as to forget to retire to converse with my Saviour shall I so perplex my self in business as to omit to pray to meditate to sing praises unto thee No I am not at my own dispose I have sworn and I will perform that I will keep thy righteous judgments and often consider how deeply I am obliged to him that hath paid my debt Oh I can never parallel his love yet let me shew my self thankful I can do nothing satisfactory but let me do something gratulatory He gave himself a sin-offering for me let me give my self a thank-offering to him offer up my self a living facrifice unto my Redeemer who offered up himself a dying Sacrifice for my Redemption Beware of Crucifying Christ afresh To them that believe he is precious now I have begun to celebrate the Marriage oh let me never throw off the
wedding Garment stain it by any pollution or seek after other lovers eat his Bread and lift up the heel against him take the Cup and betray my interest in him after I have receiv'd him cast him out of my heart live in that for which he died As the Sacrament is a memorial of Christ Crucifyed for sin let it be a remembrance to me of abhorring crucifying abstaining from it Else I hold on Satan's side seek to keep him on his throne do those things which Christ is more unwilling I should then he was to suffer all the indignities and torments the Jews inflicted he was willing to dye by their hands rather then any inconveniency should fall upon me then sin and Satan should reign over and keep possession in me he was not troubled so much to dye as he was to see me live in sin for he dyed that I might cease from sin And do I dispute when a temptation is presented whether Christ or Barrabbas shall be preferred my lusts denyed or my Lord Crucifyed that which would murther my Soul deserve to be spared or he that suffered to save it Oh how sad that he who seems to deifie Christ in the Eucharist should vilifie him in his members that such who pretend to eat and drink Christ's Body and Blood at the Church should eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence in their own houses that they should be so devout at the Sacrament as if they believed God to be in the Bread and in their lives so prophane as if they believed not God to be in Heaven Abandon and Crucifie all sin more then ever I have put off my coate of corruption how shall I put it on I have washed my feet in the blood of the Lamb how shall I defile them the Lord hath spoken peace unto me let me not return again to folly Hath he taken off my former burthen and cast it on the back of his dear Son and shall I lay more load upon him hath he loved me and washed me from my sins in his own blood and shall I with the dog return to the vomit with the sow that is washed to her wallowing in mire shall I take poyson after Physick make the Table of the Lord contemptible Hath he been so gracious to me as to vouchsafe and seal me a pardon of all my sins and shall I so abuse his goodness so turn his grace into wantonness as to run afresh on his score is not this to account the blood of the Covenant wherewith I am sanctified an unholy thing may I not fear his anger will kindle against me and that he will no more have mercy on me Oh let not those hands that were reach'd forth to receive Christ be stretched out to oppression and violence but be hence forth sacred and do no deed that may offend thee nor those lips that have touched those holy Mysteries be defiled with the Devils drivel filthy communication but be hallow'd from all words that may displease thee Oh let my Soul which by thy Sacrament is made so happy as to be so near to be never so wretched as to think any thing too dear for such a Saviour Let nothing make me leave my first love who for love of me left his Father and country Heaven and glory to espouse me Frequently consider the engagement thou hast hereby laid upon thy self No space of time can wear it off to the same strictness all our days as this though we had but this one opportunity to receive The Bonds my Soul is entered into will never be cancell'd God forgets not his promises nor my breaches though I may the matter is now out of my hands I cannot revoke this gift of my self to God indeed I have given nothing but what was his own before after these vows there is no enquiry to be made whether they should be kept This day I have avouched the Lord to be my God to walk in his ways and to keep his statutes and he hath avouched me to be one of his people I have taken Christ for my Lord and Husband to live in love and obedience to him as I hope to be saved by him Tempt me not therefore from my loyalty and allegeance the vows of God are upon me seald at the Sacrament and recorded in Heaven not one of my Fellow Communicants but are witnesses with and to God that they saw me personally publickly own and renew my Covenant with him for my Oath sake and those that sat with me I will not do this evill and sin against God Shall I alienate and pollute the heart so solemnly devoted to him break those bands asunder and fetch the Sacrifice away from the Altar tyed with such strong cords of Oaths and Covenants must I not expect to bring fire along with it to provoke God to a severe revenge of the mocks and scorns I put upon him shall I so horribly prophane his name and make my self such a forsworn perjur'd wretch Is it a light thing to break an Oath made solemnly with God shall he escape that doth such things or shall he break the Covenant and be delivered As I live saith the Lord surely my Oath which he hath despised and my Covenant which he hath broken even it I will recompense on his own head I am sure he will be true to his promises and shall I fall under his threatnings by being false to mine If a good man keep his Oaths and promises with men to his own hurt much more ought be those to God for his own good Walk on in the strength of this spiritual Food till thou comest to perfection Oh that I may still drink of the Spiritual Rock find the efficacy vertue and benefit of the Sacrament follow and stream after me while I travel in this Wilderness O that I may be stronger and stronger in all Graces more active and exacter in all Spiritual Duties hear more heedfully pray more fervently receive more believingly keep the Sabbath more exactly watch over my heart and ways more diligently be more humble and pious towards God more just and righteous to man more sober and temperate towards my self that I may walk worthy of Christ of the Covenant of the Sacrament Kingdom Gospel and Grace of God of my Birth and Breeding oh that my present deportment may be answerable to my future preferment that there may be some proportion between my frequent receiving and growing in Grace that I may shew forth his death till he come in respect of its influence on my Soul Delight in Spiritual fellowship with Christ's Members Oh that I may now bury all envy malice hatred uncharitableness and as Christ love my enemies but especially those that are partakers of the same benefits with me O that that sentence may still run in my mind If God so loved us we ought also to love one another Oh that I may shake off all ungodly society have my heart linked
entertain Thee love Thee remember Thee serve Thee express my gratitude towards Thee and that I have so often offended Thee Now I know thou lovest me seeing thou hast not with-held thy Son thine onely Son from me By his Merits and bloody Sacrifice I hope to be received into the Communion of his Sufferings here and hereafter into the Communion of his Glorie THis is the Sacrifice the Righteousness in which I trust and by which I am justified and saved from the Curse of Thy violated Law As Thou hast accepted it O Father for the World upon the Cross behold it still on the behalf of Sinners and hear his Blood that cries unto Thee for mercie to the miserable and for his sake pardon us and accept us 〈◊〉 thy reconciled Children This was my doing It was I â—nd such other Sinners that deserv'd to bear the punishment who were guilty of the Sin And can a Murderer of Christ be a small Offender Shall I ever have a dull a lifeless apprehension of Thy Love or a favourable thought of Sin more O that I may sufficiently detest and never more commit those Offences that delivered my Redeemer to Death that pierced my Saviours Handâ— and side that Crowned his Head with Thorns and filled his Souâ— with Grief O Thou who in thine anger revenged our Sins upon thy Son in thy merce correct and destroy them also in me And bestoâ— upon me such a measure of thâ— Spirit through which He offereâ— Himself without Spot unto Thee as may sanctifie for ever the Bodâ— and Soul which now I offer uâ— unto Thee and help me to discharge the Service I promise unto Thee O Blessed Lord Jesus who hast ordained this mystery for a communion of thy Body for a means of advancement and proficiency in Holiness and for an infallible Pledge of eternal Salvation which Thou hast purchased by thy Sufferings and preparest Thy people for by Thy Grace make this Ordinance of a true sign an effectual means of the same that it may be efficatious to settle me in the communion of Thy Sufferings which it sheweth forth to feed me with that living Bread which it presents and to sanctifie me for that eternal happiness which it promises and secures Take the Cup from the Minister as from Christ saying This is my Blood of the New Testament which is shed for Thee for the remission of Thy Sins O The depth of the Riches both of the Wisdom and Knowledge of God! How unsearchable is his Goodness and his Love past finding out How hast Thou surpassed all Humane Apprehensions What a matchless Gift is this and unto what unworthy Sinners Will God stoop so low to Man And come so near him and thus reconcile his provoking Enemy Will He freely pardon all I have done and take me into His Family and Love and feed me with the Flesh and Blood of his Son Such a guilty Soul might expect the destroying Angel that Thou wouldst have charg'd upon me all my Sin and Folly But while I condemned my self Thou hast justified me and given me the Seal of my Pardon in the blood of Thy gracious Covenant and surprised me with the surest Tokens and Pledges the sweetest Embracements of Thy Love O The unmerited the distinguishing goodness of the great and holy God of Heaven and Earth in making me a reasonable Creature his Servant his Son In providing so plentifully for my Body and my Soul temporal and spiritual bread to eat and Rayment to put on In giving me a heart in any measure to discharge my Duty unto Thee whilst others are neglecting Thee or expressing their enmity against Thee Innumerable are thy Creatures that cannot take notice of thy Benefits Yea how great a part of mankind made at first after thine Image live and die in Darkness and perish for want of Vision That cannot or will not enjoy these happy Opportunities are unavoidably kept from them or wilfully sinfully separate and exclude themselves How few of those that draw near to Thee sincerely wait upon Thee faithfully serve Thee are graciously accepted by Thee With what an unvaluable price hast Thou Redeemed a worthless Sinner that deserved Thy everlasting Vengeance with how precious a Feast entertainest Thou me that deserves to be cast out with the Workers of Iniquitie into the ever-flaming Pit in that I have been so careless of serving Thee so wilfully offended Thee so often preferred things displeasing unto Thee before Thee and provoked Thee to call back thy goodness and mercie from me HOw dearly hast Thou purchas'd my Love How strangely hast Thou deserved and sought it O what shall I say unto Thee or do or suffer for thee which way shall I express my gratitude towards thee O what an addition an answerable Heart would be to thy Love and Mercie and Invitation Make O make such deep and lasting Impressions upon my Soul of Thy care and kindness and condescention towards me that I may alwaies affectionatelie remember Thee faithfully serve Thee never offend Thee eternally enjoy Thee O That I could love thee as much as I should as I would as I shall love Thee when I shall do nothing else but praise Thee and serve Thee and love Thee without ever offending Thee or doubting of thy Love unto me In the mean time O that it may be the delight of my Soul to think of Thee and thy loving-kindness to reverence and worship Thee to pray unto Thee and praise Thee to wait upon Thee in Thine Ordinances at Thy Table to be ordered and guided by Thee I Offer up unto Thee my Soul and Body all I am and have to he ruled and disposed of by thee O that I may be full of zeal to follow Thee and rejoyce in being loved of Thee and humbly confide in Thee and absolutely resign my self unto Thee and be filled with constant devotion towards Thee and earnest breathings after Thee O Father of everlasting compassion forsake not in this Wilderness a feeble Israelite whom Thou hast brought thus far out of Egypt and let not the Soul Thou hast blessed with some desires and helped thus far with some tendency towards eternal happiness ever faint or fall from the right way O Son of God and Life of those that believe quench not but cherish and inflame the smoaking Flax break not but support and strengthen the bruised Reed Feed with thy Divine Influences this tender Branch this weak Member of Thine which without thee cannot but wither cannot but die cannot but perish Despise not the slender beginnings of Grace in me but carry it on with power until Thou hast made me meet for the Inheritance of the Saints in Life Blessed Spirit of all Grace cleanse me from all my Sins keep and set forward in me notwithstanding all my Infirmities Thine own Work and carry it on unto Perfection Seal up unto me the Covenant of Pardon which is sealed and delivered to me in this Ordinance FIll our Hearts most gracious God with
unto and be a companion of all those that fear the Lord make the liveliest of them my most intimates and upon all occasions improve their fellowship to the best advantage O that I may henceforth behave my self as a stone of the same Building as a branch of the same Vine as a servant of the same Familie as a member of the same Body as a Son of the same Father oh merciful Eternal high Priest let that Sacrifice thou once offeredst on the Cross for the sins of the world which thou doest now and ever represent in Heaven to thy Father by thy never-ceasing intercession which this day hath been exhibited Sacramentally on hy holy Table obtain Mercy and Peace Faith and Love Truth and Unity Safety and establishment Grace Glory and all good things to thy whole Church and let not the gates of Hell ever prevail against it Chear up and comfort thy self against all discouragements Have I worthily received the Lords Supper whatsoever my miseries are this cannot but be a reviving cordial yet my sins are pardoned How little should I be dismayed at any inward or outward troubles let me be fed all my days with the bread and water of affliction I have another bread and cup to sweeten both let her not say she is sick her sins are forgiven I have received an all-sufficient Saviour and seek for nothing in but renounce my self having so much in him How can I any more walk dejectedly that am interested in the New Covenant which with all its promises and priviledges is ratified and confirmed to me what ever I need is to be had here health and recovery from sickness a competant maintenance and support peace deliverance from our enemies content and patience liberty and joy sanctified riches or a chearful poverty and whatsoever is a blessing is purchased for and secured to us And oh that this in all my troubles difficulties addresses to God may quiet me and strengthen my Faith to apprehend him as in Covenant with me that hath engaged himself to be with me in all estates and conditions and to order all things for my advantage I have resigned up my self to him let him do with me what seemeth him good He cannot deny himself all his words are oaths for their certaintie and all his promises the sure mercies of David This Sacrament is that to my particular person which it is in it self and by design to all the world If I receive worthily I shall receive any of those blessings according as God shall chuse for me which shall be not onely with more wisdom but more affection then I can for my self Let me but be void of all care but onely to preserve my Fathers love and I cannot want He whom Almighty Wisdom and Goodness takes a Fatherly care of engages to feed cannot but have enough All things are yours and you are Christ's and Christ is God's Nothing is excluded where he is included Keep up earnest longings after this and the eternal Supper of the Lamb. Oh when will the opportunitie return when shall I come again and appear before God when shall I see his power and his glory taste his love and goodness as I have in the Sacrament O that I may still be feasting my Soul on those Heavenly Dainties those spiritual Viands those satisfying pleasures at his Table I think the time long to that day of gladness and rejoycing The King of Glory hath now espoused me to himself by Proxy by his Embassadour the day is hastening when the Marriage shall be publickly triumphantly solemnized and compleated Mount up my Soul and ever stand wishly looking for his appearance never slack thy Watch nor let thy Expectation cool till he take thee to himself where we shall be gathered together where the Bodie is and his Glory presented without an umbrage where he shall lay aside his veil and his amiable countenance be chequer'd with no intermingled frowns intervening clouds or obscure mediums where mysteries shall be turned into revelations the translation into the original commemoration into vision espousal into mutual fruition and embraces sighs and tears into nuptial songs and festivities transient glances into the direct beams of the ever radiant Sun of Righteousness a moments work into an eternity of rest where is satiety without nauseating perfect happiness without care or incumbrance envy or successor alteration or end for every chain a ray of light every tear a pearl every prison a palace every loss the purchase of a Kingdom every affront in Gods Service an eternal honour every hour of sorrow a thousand years of comfort multiplyed with a never ceasing Numeration Where Jobâ— that sate on the Dunghil sits among the Angels Lazarus that lay among the Dogs is lodged in Abrahams bosom the Saints heretofore among the pots walk in white where are riches and pleasures truâ— and real adequate and sutable solid and satisfying lasting and durable where I shall see thee oh infinite Sweetness and Delight without a Veil and live upon thee without a Figure where I shall have not a Sacramental but a Beatificalâ— Communion not wear thy ring but see thy face not remember but behold thee not in Faith but clear and full Fruition Come Love come Lord and that long day For which I languish come away When this dry Soul those Eyes shall see And drink the unseal'd source of thee When Glory's Sun Faith's shade shall chace Then for thy Veil give me thy Face AN APPENDIX TO THE Devout Communicant CONTAINING More particular Directions and Meditations for the time of Receiving with a Prayer before and after A Prayer at home before the Sacrament ETernally Blessed and infinitely Glorious Lord God! Thou art greatly to be feared in the Assembly of thy Saints and to be had in reverence of all that draw nigh unto thee Look down from Heaven the habitation of thy Holiness and Glory in much mercy pity and tender compassion upon me A vile sinful despicable Creature prostrate at thy Footstool unworthy to look up unto thy Throne or to receive any thing at thy hands but thy wrath and severe displeasure I am less then the least of all thy Mercies and liable to the severest of thy Judgments by reason of the pollution and sinfulness of my Nature Heart and Life I am of the degenerate Posterity of fallen Adam and have all the powers faculties and members of my Soul and Body defiled with sin I have sinned in every Age in every Relation in every Condition in every imployment of my Life I have distrusted thy Word disregarded thy Calls slighted thy Judgments abused thy Mercies turned thy Grace into Wantonness rejected the tenders of thy Love resisted the motions of thy Holy Spirit the checks of my own Conscience and followed the motions of my own evil Heart I have dishonoured thy Name prophaned thy Sabbaths polluted thy Ordinances been unthankful for thy Benefits impatient under Afflictions unfaithful to my promises mis-spent my time neglected
my Duty walked unanswerable to those multiplied obligations laid upon me broken all thy holy Commandments by many and great transgressions made and judged my self unworthy of everlasting life * Here mention your particular failings so that nothing might remain unto me but a fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation to devour me But thou delightest in mercy and not in the death of a sinner art not willing any should perish but that all should come to repentance Oh take not counsel of thy just indignation but of thy native goodness thy satisfi'd justice Wilt thou destroy him that presents himself to be punished and thy Son to have satisfied that desires not to live unless it be by the benefit of thy mercy and his sufferings Wilt thou not spare me for thy Son who sparedst not thy Son for me Is there not enough in his Merits and Sacrifice to expiate all my sins and to justifie my person in thy sight O suffer not thy self to be deprived of the glory of my forgiveness and salvation as well as of my creation and redemption Save me whom thou hast hitherto spared and forgive me eternal death which I have so often merited by my great offences Bury them all in the bottomless Ocean of thy own Mercy and forgetfulness and my Saviours Blood lay them upon him who is able to bear them and cloath me with his righteousness that is able to cover me Oh free me from the guilt and stain the power and penalty the reign and dominion of sin that nothing may separate me from thy love nor from the sensible discoveries of it at thy Table That I may be a meet and worthy Receiver accept me into thy favour let thy mercy pardon my sins thy grace sanctifie my soul thy goodness supply my wants thy merits inrich my poverty thy precious blood wash away all my spots thy Holy Spirit prepare and direct and assist me Take away my filthy garments my spiritual filthiness and cloath me with the best robe the Lord our righteousness Oh think me worthy for his sake and make me worthy for thy mercy-sake Deal not with me according to my deserts but thy great goodness and my great necessity Let me so remember my sins that thou mayest forget them set them so before my face that thou mayest cast them behind thy back Give me such a lively steadfast Faith in Christ for forgiveness that thou mayest seal it up unto my soul Let me love him and all his members with a pure heart fervently at thy holy Communion and ever after without dissimulation So enlarge my Soul with spiritual affections and desires that it may even break for the longings it hath unto that Ordinance and unto thy Testimonies at all times Remove far from me all blindness of mind hardness of heart unrelenting affections deadness and indisposedness earthliness and distraction irreverence unbecoming apprehensions whatsoever may hinder the blessing and efficacy of that soul-nourishing refreshing Ordinance thy gracious presence my eternal salvation Create in me an understanding heavenly clean heart O God and renew an humble contrite right spirit within me prepared for thee Oh be not as a stranger unto me hide not thy self from me lift up the light of thy countenance upon me Let me feel the comfortable breathings of thy Holie Spirit in my Soul at thy Ordinance sanctifie it to me and me to receive it acceptably with due preparation and apprehensions reverence and humility repentance and faith love and charity joy and thankfulness a deep sense of thy inexpressible love and my own unworthiness And oh that all of us who this day approach thy Table may so eat his flesh which he hath given for the life of the World that we may live for ever and so drink his blood that it may be to us for remission of sins Meet us not in our selves in thy justice as a consuming fire but a reconciled Father in thy righteous and beloved Son whom thou gavest who gave himself for us when we were thy enemies Let us depart thence more under the power of thy love and grace and under greater resolutions and abilities to do thee faithful service all our dayes through Jesus Christ our Sacrifice and Redemption Hope and Confidence Surety and Advocate the Food and Health the Life and Salvation of our Souls who hath taught us when we pray to say Our Father c. As soon as ever the Sermon is ended look towards the Lords Table and say within your selves THis Sacrament I am going to is a standing Memorial of my Saviour's Passion wherein he once offered up Himself to God and a Sign of that nourishing and strengthning Grace which he now offers to me under the notion of Food It is the true meanes and instrument of conveying on me those Blessings and signifies that which by its proper Institution it represents In the making and ordering of those Elements see consider O my Soul the heavy Blows and Bruises the Pressures Piercings Pains and Sufferings of thy Saviour from his Father and wicked men The malice and violence of his Murderers crucified Him as a Malefactor and the fierie wrath of God made him a Burnt Sacrifice and under both these Sufferings He is become to me Meat indeed and Drink indeed the stay and support the comfort refreshment and life of my Soul nourishing and preserving it to eternal life That Bread and Wine could never sustain and nourish me if the one had not fallen into the Earth under the Sickle the Flail the Mill-stone and the Fire the other under the Hook and the Press of the Husbandman nothing less then the Cross the Wounds the Death of my Lord my God of his dearest Son made me a Saviour and by this Sacrament assures me I shall be kept up and fed with a supplie of all necessarie Blessings as certainlie as he gives me to taste that Bread and Wine the ordinarie meanes for preserving my life and strength Whilest we condemned Creatures were passing on to our Execution the Son of God looked upon us and took our Condemnation upon Himself and under it died in our stead Thus by the death and satisfaction of this Sacrifice Justice gave way to my Release God the Father forgave my Sin and God the Son procured my Life Then fall upon your Knees with all imaginable Reverence and say LEt the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer Most gracious God who of thy great goodness hast ordained this Ordinance for a continual Remembrance ofâ— hat ever prevailing Sacrifice which thy infinite Wisdom and Love hast appointed and accepted upon the Cross for us vile helpless wretched Sinners make us truely sensible of all our offences against thee and of his Love and Sufferings for us and accept us in Him to the Praise of thy Grace Rebuke all unseasonable thoughts and imaginations stir up and act in us