Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
duty_n	head_n	husband_n	wife_n	3,147	5	8.1309	4	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A84659	Theion enōtikon, A discourse of holy love, by which the soul is united unto God Containing the various acts of love, the proper motives, and the exercise of it in order to duty and perfection. Written in Spanish by the learned Christopher de Fonseca, done into English with some variation and much addition, by Sr George Strode, Knight.; Tratado del amor de Dios. English	Fonseca, Cristóbal de, 1550?-1621.; Strode, George, Sir, 1583-1663.	1652 (1652)	Wing F1405B; Thomason E1382_1; ESTC R772	166,624	277

shall deliver me from this body of sin or sin say some in the body About the year 1533 arose in Germany one John Becold better known by the name of John of Leyden a tayler but a pestilent Anabaptist who bewitched the people by bis false visions dreams and prophesies to follow him He taught and caused the Ministers publikely and commonly to preach it that a man is not bound to one wife but that he may have as many as be desired and he swore by the holy Bible that this doctrin was revealed to him from heaven He and his disciples being asked how they could defend so foul and gross a tenet answered 1 That Christians must give up what they loved best which women held to be their bodies 2 That for Christs sake they are to undergoe any infamy 3 That Publicans and harlots shall enter into the kingdome of heaven 4. Which was the opinion and argument of the C●poc●atian hereticks that as all Christians should be as one spirit so they ought to be as one body each to other And this lying with others besides their wives to colour the sin they called spirituall mariages as though there could be any thing spirituall in this so foul corporall beastliness The ground of these most wicked doctrines in many of these recited hereticks was and is that most wicked tenet now defended by the Antinomians 1 Tim. 1.9 and Adamiticall Ranters so called of our times viz. Be or beleeve in Christ and sin if you can for being and beleeving in Christ justifieth and to or against the Just there is no law I might tell you that such doctrines and such doings cannot be the fruits of faith or justification and therefore they neither rightly beleeving nor being truly justified are condemned by the sentence of Gods word Exo. 20.14 which saith thou shalt not commit adultery and no unclean person shall inherite the Kingdome of heaven Eph. 5.5 But recitare as S. Hierom speaks est consutare to rehearse these damnable doctrines is to condemn them in the judgement of all good Christians I leave them therefore and shall touch upon the duties of man and wife each to other and in this I shall follow the Apostles S. Paul and S. Peters method who both begin with the duties of wives as though these should provoke the husband to his or as though the wife could not so justly expect the husbands duty which is love unless she first performe hers which is subjection And I find the Apostles insisting urging and inculcating this lesson wives obey 1 Cor. 14 34. Eph. 5 24. Col. 3.18 1 Pet. 3.5 wives reverence wives sear wives submit and wives be subject to your husbands Yea it was Gods sentence from the beginning and given to all women even to the greatest and to the best Thy desire shall be subject to thy husband Gen. 3.16 and he shall rule over thee And where God commands there should be no dispute but simple obedience And yet God considering womans backwardness to this duty is content to subject his command to reason and therefore by his Apostle S. Paul he gives one reason for this subjection of the wife when he saith Adam was not deceived but the woman 1 Tim. 2.14 and therefore fit it is she should be subject to the guidance of her head the wiser a second reason may be collected from S. Paul 1 Cor. 11.9 v. 10. that the man was not made for the woman but the woman was made for the man and for this cause the woman ought to be covered which was a sign of subjection A third reason is given by the same Apostle Ephes 5. Ephes 5 21 22. where having given the precept Wives submit your selves to your own husbands as unto the Lord for saith he the husband it the head of the wise even as Christ is the head of the Church S. Paul commands wives not only to submit and be subject but he saith the wise must reverence the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 there implyes a reverence proceeding from fear v. 33 yet no servile base fear but a loving or a fear to give him offence because she loves him as she is commanded Tit. 2.4 And this kind of reverence fear or subjection arising from and coupled with the mutuall love of the husband to the wife and the wife to the husband makes it such a subjection as S. Paul speakes of though in another case 2 Cor. 3.17 saith where that the Spirit of the Lord is I say where love in the Lord is there is Liberty And such as Christ speaks when he saith Mat. 11.30 my yoke I may say the wives yoke thus fastned is easie and the burden she beares by such her subjection is light for love makes all easie and light And yet that wives may not grumble or dispute against their subjection as too unjust servile or hard let them know that their subjection to their husbands is but as to the Lord Eph. 5.22 which 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as to the Lord means not that the wife must be a subject to her husband as to the Lord God but it teacheth that she is to be subject to her husband according to the Lords command Gen. 3.16 or according to and so far as the husband shall command agreeable to and not repugnant to the word and will of the Lord. For if the husband usurpe a power or command contrary to the Lords word Act. 5.29 the wives answer and obedience is that of S. Peter We ought to obey God rather then men And a subjection to the husband if such as God commands or such as is suitable to the will of the Lord should be willingly entertained and imbraced by every good woman who desires to be a wife and yet to make this subjection more readily to be imbraced let the wives know that the words which the Apostles use when they call for this submission or subjection in wives signifies to be under their husbands will and power according to just and comely order and not simply to the husbands unlawfull or unlimited will which orderly subjection of the wife according to order is that Politicall or Oeconomicall disposure by which the wife according to Gods ordinance and appointment is to be inferior or under her husband so that he as the head is to rule and she as the body is to obey her husband And that wives erre not or come not short in the performance of this duty the Apostle hath been very carefull to set down the qualifications and necessary concomitants of this subjection when he bids the woman submit Eph. 5.22 which teacheth her it should be spontaneous and voluntary and not a forced subjection 2. That it must not be a carnall worldly but an holy submission for as to or as in the Lord. 3. It must not be a partiall lame subjection in some things which the wife likes and

an house to keep it from shaking and falling and this is required in the love as in the name and title of husband And yet S. Paul inlargeth this love of the husband to his wife Ephes 5.29 when he tells the husband that he must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 he must nourish and cherish her not feed her only for so he must do his servant but the word minds somewhat more to feed her with the best and so to nourish her and not only th●● to nourish but to cherish which may be 〈◊〉 ●etaphoricall word taken from hens hovering over and covering the young ones defending them from the sharpnesse of the weather and warming them by her feathers and the heate of her body The plain and full sense of the word you may finde in the 1 King 1.2 where the Shunamitsh damsell is said to cherish old David lying in his bosome and giving him heat 1 K. 1.2 and thus the husband by the precept and rule of S. Paul is to love his wife when he saith he must nourish and cherish her And to this end that the wife be not driven on all occasions to run to the husband for her nourishment our holy and wife Leiturgie hath taught that at the mariage the man is to endow his wife with all his worldly goods and as a token and earnest hereof he usually gave her both silver and gold which is near to the Jewish ceremony though far enough from any superstition or Judaisme for the Romans used this ceremony in their mariages that the Bride being brought home to her husbands house she openly proclamed ubi tu Caius ego Caia which Erasmus translates thus Where thou art Lord or Master I am Lady or Mistresse whereby she hath an estate for maintenance so far as the husbands ability can extend both in his life and after his death The Apostle S. Peter hath added another duty of the husband as a fruit or effect of his love to his wife when he saith 1 Pet. 3.7 Give honour to your wives Whereby it appears that although the woman be in her self or otherwise honourable yet by mariage the husband adds to her giving her the honour of a wife according to that mariage is honourable in all even in the lowest Heb. 13. because God hath sanctified and honoured it by his institution and blessing he being as at first to Adam and Eve the Contractor the Priest and the Father to give the woman to the man for so it is said Gen. 2.22 the Lord brought her to Adam Again when the Apostle saith the man must give her honour as to the weaker may it not be fitly understood that if she hath any defect weaknesse or infirmity com●on to all or some more then usuall yet the husband ●s to honour the wife by concealing and covering them from others and to cure and to comfort her in and against these infirmities as he would do his own body Which agrees with that of S. Paul Ephes 5. and with that other Eph. 5.29 1 Cor. 12 23. 1 Cor. 12. our more uncomely parts we adorne most Another sense there may be of this which agrees with the words and forme in mariage prescribed by our Leiturgie where the man saith with my body I thee worship whereby he doeth as it were appropriate his body to his wife in respect of all other women and this agrees with that of S. Paul that men must so far as may stand with chastity modesty and his ability give her due benevolence for he is not sole Lord or Master of his body but his wife herein is copartner or cape-master and this S. Paul speaks fully 1 Cor. 7.4 and plainly Other appendant or subordinate duties are required from the husband under or flowing from this great master duty love 1 Cor. 7 3. Col. 3.19 as that the husband must yeeld his wife due benevolence 2. That he must not be bitter or sharp but gentle and apt to passe by infirmities and offences of his wife as of the weaker vessell A 3. requisite duty of the husband is that the husband live with his wife according to knowledge 1 Pet. 3.9 so that as he is the head of his wife so like an head he may be able to guide and to direct according to knowledge in Gods and mans laws And this may be one reason why S. Paul suff●rs not a woman to speak in the Church but to learn of her husband at home 4. When the Apostle tells the husband that he must love his wife as Christ doeth his Church Eph. 5.25 it is hereby implyed that as there can be no greater love then this nor any greater spur to this love then what the Apostle gives that the wife is the husbands flesh and body that he is her head and that God hath commanded this love so that love to his wife being such as Christs was to his Church therefore it must be a chast not a wanton and carnall love an holy not a worldly or profane love a sincere hearty not a faigned hypocriticall love and lastly not a temporary and fading but a perpetuall love to hold as the bands in wedlock till death depart the one from the other or both together And be thy love such it will so help at least to temper and qualifie all stragling wild passions towards thy wife that seldome if ever thou shalt be angry with her but sure never to be jealous of her fidelity to thee Which jealousie as it is like the Hemlock in the Prophets pottage destructive to all matrimoniall peace and blisse so is it often conceived without a father brought forth without a midwife and cherished without a nurse or at least without any that thou canst prove to be such for if the woman be so wicked as to play false the Serpent is not more wily then she to conceal it I observe that when Christ told the woman that she had submitted her self to six men Joh. ● she concluded that sure he was a Prophet and so when Christs feet were washed and wiped by Mary Lu. 7.3 Magdalen the Pharisees argued were he a Prophet he could have known that Mary Magdalen was a loose woman So from both passages it may appear that it was hard for any unlesse a Prophet who had revelations supernaturall to discover and find out a false incontinent wife and better I hold it if the thing prove too apparent to dissemble it as Jacob did his daughter Dinahs wickednesse then to blow his horn at the door or to proclaim it in the Market place I end all this in one word of exhortation Pe not to thy wife as a Lion in the house Ecclus. 4.30 but as a Lamb or be in this as a Dog that is curst to strangers or strange women yet to be kind and affable at home for this will beget preserve and increase the reciprocall love of thy wife to thee which

drives away or breaks all that favoured the Emperor or his cause were they otherwise never so good or well deserving but when the people saw themselves thus abused and that their taxes and miseries were doubled upon them by their pretended redeemer and saviour him they fall upon and having overcome him both at sea and land they make him fast in chains and fetters and first torturing him with their tongues calling him Dog of uncleannesse Goat of lust Tygre of cruelty Religious Ape and envious Basiliske they first cut off his right hand and pull out one of his eyes they set him on a lean poor Mule with his face turned to the tail thereof and carying him through the streets and market places men and women strove how to exceed each other in casting stones dirt and dung of men and beasts in his face who after all being hanged up in the theatre by the heels with his head down-ward some cut off his privities others slashed off his buttocks and other fleshy parts and thus half tortured and half sterved to death he voided out his ambitious bloudy irreligious soul after which the remaining parts of his carbonadoed and loathsome carcasse were thrown into a stinking vault there to lie and rot as the body of some wild and noysome beast after he had tyrannously reigned two years And such ends may all such Conquerors have and let all those that think on him be wise in time and neither to put their trust in Princes nor in the sons of men Ps 146.2 Ps 145.20 but in the Lord that preserveth all them that love him but all the wicked he will utterly destroy CHAP. XXXVIII Of the mutuall love duty and happinesse of the maried couple TO the discovery whereof I shall first tell you what mariage is 1. According to the name 2. To the nature of it 3. The causes necessarily required to the making such a mariage 4. The previous considerations and the usuall consequents of mariage 5. The duties necessarily and justly required of the wife 6. Of the husband 7. From all which fully performed and accomplisht will arise such holy fruits and happy benefits that may fully and rightly pronounce that mariage both before God and man to be truly honourable 8. And therefore capable of a benediction corporall and spirituall temporall and eternall Some say our English word Mariage comes from the Latine Maritus which signifieth an husband otherwise most of our Latine words come from the womans side as Matrimonium from matrona a matron or from mater a mother as Eve so called because she was to be the mother of all and Nuptiae from nubo which is properly spoken of the female to be maried as ducere is for the man to lead and nubo is to be veiled and so Rebecca when she first appeared to Isaac she put on her veile Gen. 24.65 as a sign of her modesty and as a note and testimony of subjection And to passe from the name to the nature of mariage I hold mariage to be a lawfull and free conjunction of a man and woman in the Lord for the propagation of children the avoiding of fornication the mutuall comfort of each other and all to the glory of God wherein the materiall cause is man and woman the formall the lawfull conjunction of them the efficient the consent of the persons in the Lord and the finall as is before exprest Where note that as mariage must be of man and woman so it must not be of a man to women or of a woman to men but of one man to one woman as at first it was betwixt Adam and Eve so that if Polygamie were at any time permitted or indulged yet never was it authorised by the institution or word of God as to be practised for it is said both in the old Testament that two not more then two shall be one flesh Anciently and among the Jews they gave money for their wives and we did retain with us a small resemblance of the like at the time of mariage in laying on the book or giving money to the wife though this was not as to buy her at a price which were beastly and slavish but to endow her as in our Leiturgie is well exprest with all our worldly goods but the best mariage is when God brings the woman and gives her Gen. 2.22.24 and when Adam freely takes her not as a thing obtruded or forced upon him but freely saying this is now flesh of my flesh then she is called a wife and when God is not the Contractor to espouse the Father to give and the Priest to mary them either immediately by himself as in Paradise or mediately by his lawfull Ministers I cannot say or promise that the mariage is rightly performed or that it shall well prosper Mariage then being a holy conjunction of man and woman in the Lord and this to hold for life concerns it not each as we say in our proverb to look before we leap whether the ground we are to light upon be firm and good or a quackmire and our ruine Our most blessed Lord by a parable hath taught us that no wise Commander will enter into a war before be well hath weighed and considered with whom he is to encounter and what his strengths are for as we say of war that a Generall can offend but once if for want of providence and foresight he lose the day so much more may it be said of mariage then that of war for if a Generall hath loft the day and be imprisoned yet there may be an exchange for his person and some remedy for his losse but in the miscarriage of mariage there is no relief but death For it is a conjunction till death depart one party or the other and this when the Apostles of Christ heard their Lord to preach and forewarn they concluded if the case be such said they Then it is not good to touch a woman Mat 9.10 that is not to be married Some Philosophers treating of mariage said that he that would have a year of content and pleasant life let him mary but he that would wish to have two such years let him not mary intimating as some other Greeks said that the maried couple had but two merry days the one in the bed-chamber the other in the chamber of the grave or the one at the first of mariage which we call hony-moon and the other at the buriall so that with them married and marred should differ but in a letter and that as the aspirate h taken from Sarah should be added to Abraham and that she should be Sara but he with the aspirate to be Abraham Now though in the great pile or masse of women there be many Sarahs Rebeccas Abigails widowes of Sarepta and Maries yet there being as many or I fear many more Eves Delilahs Jezebels and Jobs wives is there not cause that a great care and consideration should

wearing pearl or costly array unlesse it be an enemy unto modesty shamefastnesse sobriety or an hinderer of good works but rather then any of these be hindered or diminished away in Gods name with pearles and costly array The great Philosopher Aristotle setting down the qualities and duties of a good and fit wife saith she must be apt to rule within doores according to the will of her husband 2. That she neither carry our nor take in ought against her husbands mind 3. That she be cleanly and handsome to please her husband and not fine and trim to please other men 4. That she be no busie-body in others houses or affaires 5. That she should observe her husbands qualities and conditions that so if they be good she may follow and teach them if ill to avoid them her self and as much as she can to weed them out of her husband or by little and little to wean him from them 6. That with a godly and loving fear she be carefull not to give her husband cause of offence and if he be offended or troubled with discretion and meeknesse to pacifie and mitigate his passions 7. To be a compatient or fellow-sufferer as a true yoke-fellow in all estates as well in adversity as in prosperity We read that Admetus being sick and the Augures inquired of how he might recover they answered it could not be but by the death of his best friend which his wife hearing answered he cannot have a better friend then me his wife and thereupon to recover him she killed her self I propound not this as a thing to be imitated but to shew of what power the compassionate love of a wife is to which I might adde that of Phinehas his wife who upon the report of her husbands death 1 Sam. 4.19 fell in travail and died and from these and many the like instances we may conclude that the compassionate love of women to their husbands is as Salomon said Gent. 8.6 as strong as death And now having touched some duties and qualities of good wives I shall add a few observations or exhortations if you please to call them so whereby wives may the better be inabled to performe those duties and to make those qualities be more gracious and seem more glorious And the first shall be that the wife learn to be obedient to her husband with a loving fear as well in his absence as in his presence For though the husband happily in some respects may be inferior to her yet she having yeelded to be his wife she hath withall made him her head and it is an honour to the wife to reverence her husband that he may appear to others worthy of honour The second is that she be modest and bashfull even in her greatest desires and best delights fire being blown may seem to resist the breath although by it it is kindled Nolo nimis facilem saith one Poet I refuse the too easie yeelder and fugit ad salices se cupit ante videri saith another she fled to the covert and seemed desirous to be first seen both intimating that a gentle and modest refusall provokes and inflames desires I observe that Rebecca when she had travailed many miles uncovered now approaching near the place where Isaac her husband was to meet her that she then put on her vaile that love or desire in women is most to be esteemed when she seems to refuse with one hand yet ready to entertain and imbrace her husband with the other A third may be that she be not garish in her dressings or to disguise her self with spots patches or paintings I have read that a Judge who perswaded the husband who had put away his wife to take her again being so fair and comely the husband answered that it was not his wife for she that accompanied with him at home was none such and indeed though wives generally say all their dressings and sl●bberings is to please their husbands yet I may answer with that of S. Augustine to covetous fathers who pretend all their care is for their children saith the father vox pietatis it is the voice of piety but indeed excusatio iniquitatis it is but an excuse or cover of their iniquity For observe when Jezebel paints and when Esther puts on her bravery the first doth it to appear not to her husband but to Jehu whom she would inflame and the other to Ahashuerus whom she would inamour I pray observe that when you would make the child leave the dug you smear it with mustard or the like such are Mercury waters or such sl●bbers to a good and wise husband neither can this counterfeit beauty or artificiall dressing so much allure or please the husband for the time as the wives ordinary familiar homelinesse will distast or take off at all times else The fourth observation is that wives as they are called so they should be house-wives For so saith the Psalmist Thy wise sall be as the vine about thy house Ps 128. not in the streets or fields but on the sides of the house The males only were commanded thrice a year to go to Jerusalem to serve the Lord Exod. 24 but not the wives but the husbands were to go so far from their own homes And the spouse called his beloved a Dove Cant. 2. which delights her selfe only in her mate at home and he courtech her to solace her self in the clifts of the rocks not in the markets exchanges or play-houses yea when the Spouse invites her to recreate her self with the flowers figs and pleasant fruits her answer is Dilecius meus mibi all my delight is in thee my Spouse Armenia being asked by her husband Tygranes how she liked the King answered that she looked not wishly on him for her eyes were all the while on her husband A fifth may be that the wife though she be fair rich or honourable yet ought she to be frugall and carefull for the estate at home The Germans used antiently to present a yoke of Oxen to the new maried couple intimating thereby that they as yoked should draw together and S. Paul calling mariage 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a yoaking together 2 Cor. 6.14 charges the man and woman not to be unequally yoaked The Greeks when they would express a careless prodigall wife called het Ocnus his Asse for this Ocnus being a rope-maker that laboured and wrought all day yet before night his Asse eat more then he got by his work you may adde that if an Oxe and Asse be yoaked if the Oxe draw never so much and the Asse hang back so little good will come of their yoaking that as a father said in another case non solum non trahunt sed rumpunt quod junctū est they not only draw not but break what was joyned I can conclude this observation with no better counsell then that in the Proverbs Chap 31. from the 11. verse to the 25.

which I leave and commend to your reading and meditation A sixth is that the wife be nor apt to resist or crosly to reply against her husband Prov. 15.1 The wise man in generall tells us that a soft answer frangit reads the vulgar breaks anger wherein is a mystery that that which is soft can break and it can be no less then a secret in nature infused by God into the soul of man and note that woman though at first she were made out of a rib yet that is not so hard as some bones and it was out of the husbands rib too that it should not resist him who was the matter of her being Fire we all know will soon break out by the collision or clashing of two hard matters as iron beating on flint but rub a thousand weight of oyle or feathers against twenty flints no fire will issue and lightning and thunder breaks the sword in the scabbard A woman complaining that her husband was so waspish and crosse that she could not contain but reply her neighbour taught her this remedy that while her husband was chiding she should hold water in her mouth till his fit was over which with thanks the woman found to be an especiall remedy I have red that anciently among some Gre●ks the Bride on the day of m●riage was presented with a horse bridled and sadled not to teach that she should be ready to ride and gallop abroad but that she should be as that horse with her tongue bridled and silent at her husbands command In a word that I talk not too much in an argument of silence Prov. 31.26 Bathsheba tells the wife that she must open her mouth in wisdome and that in her tongue must be the law of kindness not sharpness or replies but what ever the husband be kindness must be observed by her as a law and by this law she shall find great ease and no small benefit to her self For the wives gentle meekness which is a seventh necessary requisite is like goats milke to an adamantine husband which as is storied will of it self dissolve the hardest diamond which no iron steel or the like can do For the soul of man as the P●ilosopher observes is a generous and noble piece which though it cannot be drawn or forced yet it may be led and won Or like a strong well fenced Castle it may be mined but not battered S. Paul to win the Thessalonians made himself like a Nurse 1 Th. 2.7 which stills and gaines the love of the Child by lullabies a merry note and the dug and not by curstness 2 Tim. 2.24 25. Gal. 5.22 or blowes And the servant of the Lord who desires to win soules and bring them to Christ must be gentle patient meek for this is the fruit of the holy Spirit which descended on Christ in the figure of a Dove a Dove which as they say hath no gall neither can she chatter though offended but only mourns In a word the Psalmist saith the wife must be as a vine not as a scratching bramble no nor though sweet as a rose yet she must not be pricking as a rose but as the vine which brings not forth sowre but pleasant grapes to make her husbands heart not sad but merry For close of this if the husband be a Naball a churle a fool a distempered person let the wife learn to be an Abigail who would not move or stir him to choler or griefe when he was in heate of wine 1 Sam. 25 36. but after his rest when she found him well tempered then she speaks unto him and gently too I will summe up the duties of a wife with that precept of S. Paul which I will read as the Hebrews Tit. 2.5 backward or beginning with the last first and the last duty here exprest is that she be obedient to her husband and that is to be wrought or caused by the next before it when he commands her to be good that is benign gentle courteous The third duty ascending is that she be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 like the tortoise except on sufficient cause ever in her shell that is an house-keeper or housewife The duty preceding this is that she be chast for this chastity is a great preserver of retiredness when on the contrary gadding abroad is no great friend to chastity The duty first here placed and which is first in repute and esteem is that she be discreet and prudent Which vertue is not only a great help to preserve chastity and to keep the wife at home but an especiall cause or worker of the wives courteous carriage and due obedience to her husband according to that of Salomon Prov. 19.14 Ecclus 26.14 A prudent woman is the gift of the Lord and a silent and prudent woman is the gift of God So S. Paul in setting down the commendable virtues and duties of wives begins with this let them be discreet or wise for without this they will hardly be ch●st Seldome housewives and never good and obedient to their husbands To this observation I may add one more as the last to this point that neither the Apostle nor any other pen-man of God ever commended beauty wealth honour as to be sought after in the choice of a wife But house-wifery chastity gentleness obedience and the crown of all prudence and therefore I should never counsel any to make choice of a woman in mariage who is confident of her wit wealth beauty or birth nor the woman to be maried to that man that presumes on his wisdome wealth power or honour for when these are over valued in either each will undervalue the other to contempt or at least to some discontent I have been long I hope women will not beshrew me for it in setting down the duties of wives to their husbands I shall be shorter and I wish that they would not blame me for it in the duty of the husband because as Christ and the Apostles spake of the law so the whole duty of the husband is comprised in this one word love So that though under love both in the law and the husbands duty many things are required which are not simply and properly called love yet all these flow and stream from this one spring of love and this is the cause that S. Paul only saith Eph. 5. Col. 3. husbands love your wives Now love being 1. naturall 2. carnall 3. politicall 4. divine I may say in a qualified sense that all these loves are commanded the husband under this one word love a naturall love because the woman was of and from man being flesh of his flesh 2. the carnall love because thee shall be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 into or one flesh 3. politicall for a sweet society and peopling the world 4. a divine love 〈…〉 be in holi●●●● such as C●●●●●hawed compriseth all that possibly any woman can require or desire from her husband For

if he love her he wisnes her well he doth well for her he gives her what in justice and reason she ●n desire he suffers for her more then she would he is carefull not to displease and most willing to give her honour and all good content God when he gives lawes and precepts to man he concludes them all in this Love the Lord thy God and S. Paul Rom. 13 10. love is the fulfilling of the law And to this love as portrayed the husband is bound so saith S. Paul men ought so to love their wives Eph. 5.28 and this expresly proves it to be the husbands duty to love his wife Which S. Paul barely saith not it is his duty though his word as from God were a law and there needed no other confirmation for it but he proves it For the man to his wife is as Christ to his Church and Christ loved his Church and therefore 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so ye husbands ought to love your wives Secondly the wife is not flesh of thy flesh but is made one flesh and one body and as it were one person with thee Eph. 5.28 so Ephes 5.28 and therefore man ought to love his wife And if you ask me how he ought to love her this the Apostle expresseth too and most plainly saying 1. as Christ loved his Church 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so ye husbands ought to love your wives Where note that the Apostle means not by this 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so to tell the husband that he ought to love his wife in that high measure and degree as Christ did love his spouse the Church this is not possible for man to do but as Christ did truly and heartily love the Church so ought m●n to love their wives And a second 〈…〉 should love his wife the Apostle adde in the same place when he saith he ought to love her as hit own and as himself and be it that the man love his wife so the woman covets too much that would desire more then that her husband love her as he doth himself for no man v. 29. except a mad one saith S. Paul hateth but rather cherisheth and nourisheth his own flesh Now S. Basil taking it for granted that the man according to this duty and rule loves the wife more then the wife her husband demands the reason for it and answers it thus That woman was made subject to the guidance of the man and therefore to make a compensation as it were the man by his love is made in some sort subject to his wife so that the husband though he be in his naturall capacity a Lord to his wife as Sarah called her husband yet in a sweet manner he is through his love become her servant so that though God gave the woman long haire which might be as reynes in the mans hand to guide her yet God gave her an eye that her husband may say as Christ to his spouse Cant. 4.9 thou hast ravished or taken away my heart with one of thine eyes and be the man the head of the wife yet the wife by her ravishm●nt of the man is become according to the place or part whence she was first taken the heart of the man and hereby it comes to pass that as Christ taught the man is to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and all this is wrought by mans love to his wife Well therefore did S. Paul Ephes 5. speaking of this loving subject call it a mystery a mystery in nature and a mystery in grace and each applied by the Apostle to the husbands love for as Eve was taken out of Adam so the Church from Christ she from Adam cast into a sleep the Church from Christ sleeping in Death Eve was from the side opened the Church from Christs side pierced Adam therefore was to to love Eve as his flesh and bone Christ his Church as his blood and life and hereupon the Apostle concludes Men therefore love your wives as Adam did Eve and as Christ did the Church For man and his wife are coupled as in the bond of nature so in the covenant of grace and this is the mystery which S. Paul calls the love of man to his wife And another mystery there is couched in the words of the Apostle when be saith that the man and wife being two subjects or persons are made and become one for though two yet but one body and two but one soul and affection to love each other as himself Eph. 5.28 v. 33. so that two should be one in and by love and yet by the power of the same love this one to become two to help each other against all enemies adversaries or opponents and here is the mysterie and such a mysterie as love onely under God can and should make between man and wife Which love as it is strong as Death Can. 8.6 so it feares not nor stoopeth to death but undauntedly encountered for the object be it the wife or the spouse beloved S. Paul tells us it was so in that most divine love of Christ to his Church who gave himself even to death for her and so hath it been in many a man naturall love to do the like for his beloved He touch but one example of Tiberius who finding two snakes in his bed-chamber was told that if he killed the female his wife must die if the male himself whereupon to preserve his wife he chose rather to kill the mal●●●nd himself to die and happy is that conjunction which is so cemented by love that each can say as Castor and Pollux as brethren vive tuo Coujux tempore vive meo live ô my spouse thy terme and live thou mine The Greeks though most abundant in expressions by words yet in this case of husband and wife seem defective and scanty For as Ephes 5. and Col. 3. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eph. 5. Col. 1. which is in generall a man stands for husband so 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which is in generall a woman signifies in the Apostle a wife which defect if it may be so called is supplied by our English when we translate that man and woman by husband and wife and not unfitly from the first creation of both for as the woman was made for the man to be a comfort unto him as a wife Gen. 2.18 so the man being alone and wanting any under God on whom to place his love and delight is to settle these on the woman his wife therefore saith the Apostle husbands love your wives Eph. 5.22 these being the objects of your solace and delight and as they were made helps to the husband Which word husband as it notes the man to be the band of the house and all therein so primarily and principally of his wife by which he is put in minde to keep her from shattering as the band in sheaves or as the band of