or woman whether they prevail or not If you prevail with an ungodly husband or wife to turn from the errour of their ways to do that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord you shall save a Soul from death Jam. 5.20 And cause joy in heaven which is at the conversion of a sinner Luc. 15.10 A comfort in it self Besides the benefit your self enjoy in the holy conversation of one renewed of whose renewing you your self have been the happy instrument thro' Gods Grace in the Lord Jesus But tho' you prevail not indeed that consideration is sad where there is love to a Soul to have spent much labour in vain Yet there is comfor in this that it is not in vain in the Lord. This was the comfort of the great Prophet Isaiah complaining for want of success and may be yours surely your Judgment is with the Lord and your work and reward with God Is 48.4 If the filthy will be filthy still and the ungodly will be ungodly still their blood shall be upon their own head and you that endeavour to perswade with sincerity have delivered your own Soul and shall ever beaâ— in your bosom that comfortable testimony of a good conscience and peace from God that passeth understanding shall keep and comfort your hearts and minds thro' Christ Jesus Pâ—il 4.7 And he that shall come will come quickly and his reward is with him to give to every one according as their work shall be Even so come Lord Jesus The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you Amen An ADVERTISEMENT To such as have been long married 'T IS possible these papers may come to the hands of such as have been long married or at least so long as to be past the title of new-married people and may therefore think that that this does not concern them But I desire such to consider that it concerns them much every way For either they are such as have lived according to Gods holy way or not 1. If they have indeed lived together in that holy love which these papers perswade to then they speak peace to them from God And give them the joy and comfort of all the blessings proposed as motives and advantages And I doubt not but that they have experience of the comforts of an holy heavenly life and must testifie the truth of what is here advanced And doubtless they do find encouragement enough to go on in that way to the end 2. But if they have not so lived together then they find themselves spoken to in every advice and motive especially in the fourth and fifth Section Every line calls more loudly to such in the words of the Apostle Eph 5.15 Awake thou that sleepest and Christ shall give thee light Have you so long neglected so great a blessing and continued under the curse and tempted the Almighty to give you up to hardness of heart O see the goodness and patience and long suffering of God! Give judgment your selves between God and your Souls Have you not neglected the best way too long And shall not his patience lead you to repentance shall not the time past suffice to have lived without God should not the love of Christ constrain you to this holy love of each others Souls Let it do so then now at the last And set about what is here advised to as new married people should and reap at last the too much neglected blessings 'T is never too late to begin to do well Nay you should labour the more earnestly considering how you have blockt up your own way by your sinful neglect Repent therefore and bring forth fruits meet for repentance Prayers for Gods blessing assisting grace to the married couple These first in order taken out of the publick Office and fitted for private use When you are come home on the wedding-Wedding-day or at Evening and so for some dayes after read first those Scriptures declaring the mutual duties of man and wife or else some other portion of Scripture with attention And then kneeling down together endeavour to lift up your hearts to the Lord and say O Eternal God creator and preserver of all mankind giver of all Spiritual Grace the author of everlasting life send thy blessing upon us thy servants who have this day consented together in holy marriage and have engaged our word in truth to each other to live together as man and wife according to thy holy word and have received a publick blessing in thy name Bless us O Lord we beseech thee in secret and grant that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together so we may surely perform and keep the Vow and Covenant betwixt us made and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together and live according to thy Law thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen God the Father God the Son and God the holy Ghost bless preserve and keep us O Lord mercifully with thy grace look upon us and so fill us with all Spiritual benediction and grace that we may so live together in this life that in the world to come we may obtaine life everlasting Amen O God of Abraham God of Isaac God of Jocob bless us thy Servants and sow the seeds of eternal life in our hearts Help us to attend diligently on thy holy word so that we may profit and learn thereby and be doers thereof Look O Lord mercifully upon us from heaven and bless us And as thou didest send thy blessing upon Abraham and Sarah to their great comfort so vouchsafe to send thy blessing upon us thy Servants that we obeying thy will and always being in safety under thy protection may both abide in thy love and in holy Christian love to each other to our lives end thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O God who by thy mighty power hast made all things of nothing who also after other things set in order didst appoint that out of man created after thine own image and similitude woman should take her beginning and knitting them together didst teach that it should never be lawful to put asunder those whom thou by Matrimony hadst made one O God who hast consecrated the state of Matrimony to such an excellent mystery that in it is signified and represented the Spiritual marriage betwixt Christ and his Church look mercifully upon us thy Servants whom thou hast brought to joyn together in the marriage covenant That I may love this my wife according to thy word as Christ doth love his Spouse the Church loving and cherishing her as my own flesh And also that this woman whom thou hast given to be my wife may be loving and amiable faithful and constantly obedient in all Christian love and in all quietness and peace be a follower of holy and godly Matrons O Lord bless us both and grant us to inherit thine everlasting Kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O Almighty God who at the beginning didst create our first parents
God in the concern of thy soul in his own word in thy own language and also to be able to use any choice form of prayer suitable to your condition and so powerful to move your affections and draw forth the desires of your hearts toward God tho beyond your ability to compose But if you cannot learn to read or in the mean time till you can you are not without help for you may get some honest godly friend or neighbour to read over a prayer to you so long till you have learnt it that you can say it your self But then you must take heed that this saying over one form turn not to plain formality that you should think as a child that having said over the words you have prayed tho your heart spoke not to God and so look on a prayer as a charm as if God was bound by those words in general to shew his goodness to you when your heart has not made one request or petition to God that is you have uttered words but had no desires This is an usual mistake and dangerous error so that in using forms of prayer your care must be to keep your heart to the duty earnestly desiring with your heart what you request with your lips But tho you have none of these outward helps so that you can neither read nor are furnished with a memory able to keep a form of words in mind yet know that the nature of the duty is such that these wants will no way excuse you Neither should you suffer this want to trouble you if you are willing and desirous to pray much less should you suffer it to discourage you and hinder you from duty and keep you from God because you cannot say over a form of prayer For consider forms are but words but prayer indeed is the speaking of the heart to God whether there be voice heard or words utter'd or not and without the heart both the best composed form and the greatest ability to utter words readily in extemporary free prayer are utterly to no purpose And if from thy heart thou speakest to God humbly reverently with understanding as sensible of thy wants sincerely as by faith depending on him thro Christ thou needst not be troubled for want of well placed words for God wants not words but knows the language of the heart and spirit Rom. 8.27 he is the God of the spirits of all flesh Numb 27.16 'T is true indeed that we want words to express the desires of our souls and to quicken our affections especially when praying with others But when marriage has made you no longer two but one flesh and your interest and desires should be one and the same that your prayers may not be hindred tho the words are not so well placed as may recommend to men yet from a sincere and united heart they may recommend both to God And to remove that bashfulness and being ashamed of words in one anothers hearing remember 't is not to approve your gifts and parts to each other but to approve both your hearts to God so that the fear of this want should not discourage and so keep you keep you strangers from God Consider then the good things you have and enjoy and be thankful Remember 't is fit to beg of God the continuance of them Consider what evil things you either fear or already suffer and beg the Lord to deliver And if there be any thing in particular that either of you want or desire this should be made known to the other that praying together you may join in that one thing and pray one for another as well as one with another And if you are indeed truly sensible of your wants and have an heart to go unto God you have a God to go to who will help your infirmities even he who made mans mouth he will put words in your mouths and teach you what to say so that you shall not want words for supplication and thanksgiving to make your requests known unto God And when you come thus to God with a sincere humble devout soul in the name and mediation of Jesus Christ this is prayer indeed to which all forms whether set or extemporary where such an heart is wanting are no way to be compared This is the language of the soul the heart poured out to God in prayer Adv. 4. The fourth advice I give you is to read the Scriptures together the word of God 'T is the great comfort and help of your souls and a blessed advantage of our Nation and the present time that we may and that thereby we may have in our own Houses that word promise and Gospel wherein Christ and thro him life and immortality and salvation is made known Search the Scriptures for therein ye think you have eternal life Jo. 5.39 So search that the word of Christ may dwell richly in you in all knowledge and Spiritual understanding Col. 3.16 Therein is abundance of hid treasure the unsearchable riches of Christ Something of this should be read every day Reading the Scripture should accompany Prayer at least in the evenings And let this practice be kept as a constant custome unless some extraordinary providence as sickness or the like hinder it If you begin this at first it will with more ease be continued till duty becomes delight and having tasted the sweetness and found the advantage you will look for it and think it as necessary as food or sleep Job 23.12 And to this I add this further advice that you read often good sound and plaine books of practical Godlyness That is at such times as the business of your calling or trade does admitt and tell each other of what good books you have read and what good you have received by them But especially on the Lords day in the vacancy of publick ordinances when you are not at Church then should you read and not only read but also encourage one another in an holy practice of such good things as the Scripture teaches and other good books set before you according to the holy Scripture Remember that if the husband cannot read and has a wife that can to account her worthy of double honour and if possible of double love on that account But let that wife beware she be not puffed up to despise her husband but know that she may yet learn of him as in respect of Judgment and understanding 1 Cor. 14.35 She must not think her self his teacher nor usurp authority over him 1 Tim. 2.12 tho' in this particular a meet helper and great advantage to him So also if the wife cannot read and has an husband that can let her prize him the more on that account as a greater treasure with whom she may have the comfort of a Christian conversation according to knowledg and living together as heirs of the grace of life 1 Pet. 3.7 If neither can read then you had need be more diligent
your time religiously in reading some portion of the Scripture or other good book Or talking together of what you have heard read or preached in the publick how it concerns or may concern either of you and perswade and encourage one another to an holy and serious praetice conclude as you begin the day with prayer And so comfort your selves together and edisie one another 1 Thes 5.11 And by no means make it your custome to wander abroad on the Sabbath evenings unless it be to some Religious neighbours that mind the things of God and keep up some good duty as reading or repeating of Sermons or the like And learn of such how to governe your family in the fear of the Lord as every good man should Josh 24.15 Or else on good and warrantable accounts you may go and carry some good book to a neighbour that cannot read And read to them and their family for their Souls good and comfort Or else in the same Spiritual manner visit such as can read but do not who you may justly doubt are careless of their Souls And buy a book for that purpose so may you do good both to your selves and them Or if you cannot read not find a neighbour family to joyne with that usually does so spend the Sabbath labour to procure one that can read to go along with you in those Spiritual errands before mentioned Or if as Gods providence calls you visit â—â—â—h as are sick a thing usual on the Sabbath day and not to be discommended yet be not as idle lookers on only with Complement and how do you do but bring unto them some Spiritual present from the Church from Gods house some word of exhortation or comfort or instruction as they may need And supposing there be no elder grave and serious person that will speak as a Christian do you speak as becomes Christs servant for their Souls good and discharge of your own Conscience O if you have but an heart towards God how many wayes have you to do good for your selves and others and to spend that day in Religion and Piety the exercises of Charity works of Mercy and holy love A joy and comfort that the ignorant dark world are strangers to Adv. 6. One further advice I give in the sixth and last place and that is that you admonish and stir up one another to the Solemn and serious coming to the Lords Table there to receive together the Holy Sacrament of the Lords Supper thereby to renew your vow in Baptisim on your entrance on your changed condition in the married state Therefore take the first opportunity after you are married and help each other before to prepare for it You are now become one discover therefore freely the state of your Soules to each other your thoughts and knowledg in this matter your hopes your doubts and fears and pray for one another and direct and assist each other to understand and to do as God in his word requires and promise together to watch over one another in the love and fear of the Lord and to help each other to walk answerably to the Covenant that being joyned to each other you may both be united to Christ one with him and he with you But especially if neither have receiv'd the Sacrament as 't is too often the sinful neglect of young people forgetting their Baptismal vow and covenant of their youth 't is then more necessary to call on one another and a great token of true love to labour to bring each others Soul under the bond of the covenant To see the Sinfulness of their neglect and make one another sensible of it and hasten that it may no longer continue Yet beware that you come not slightly and carelessly to attend there and by mistake take the Sacrament for a ceremony Custom fashion in Religion or you know not what and so come ignorantly and without faith and so not only unprofitably but to your danger But help each other to consider what the Sacrament is why appointed and how useful to you in every condition Learn to know that it was appointed by Christ himself as a solemn remembrance of what he has done and suffered for the Redemtion of mankind and to be as a Seale of confirmation to all true believers of their share and portion and interest in Christ as indeed given to them according to the Covenant And on our part the Seal of renewing our Resolutions of accepting of Christ and giving up our selves to God according to the Covenant of God in his Grace and Mercy as we promised or was promised for us at our Baptism so we come to receive Gods renewed promises and to renew our owne And so it becomes thro' Gods grace a means of stirring up all Christian graces in us and of keeping down the power of Sin by the Spirit of Christ according to the promise of God and Divine assistance And this it is indeed to all that come sincerely and in earnest desiring to be and to continue true members of Christs Body united unto him and continuing in the Communion of Saints in stedfast Faith and holy obedience and joyful hope thankful love Come then together as fellow heirs of the same grace and renew your Baptismal vow and engagement with knowledg and understanding thankfully and sincerely accepting of and receiving Christ as offered to your Souls by God the Father in the Gospel believing the whole word of God and resolvedly and thankfully giving up your selves to God thro' Christ Heartily and sincerely consenting to the covenant to be Gods people and to take him for your God his Son for your Saviour his Spirit for your Guide and Sanctifier his Word for your Direction his Promises for your Comfort Hope and Trust Renouncing all other the devil and his workes the world and its vanities the flesh and its lusts that in heart and practice you may so live as the Gospel teaches in comfortable expectation of the Gospel-promises thro' Christ For further help in this matter read those Chapters which contain the institution as 1 Cor. 11.23 Lu. 22. Math. 26. And such Books of that subject as you can have as Mr. Glanvil on the Sacrament The Key of Knowledg short and plain The whole duty of Man Sunday 3d. Some one of these read together and talk together and enquire of each others Souls welfare of knowledg saith repentance charity and resolution of holy obedience by renewed life in the married estate giving up your selves to God thro' Christ and promise this to each other and both to God And if you have never been at the Sacrament then after such private preparation go together to your minister whom Gods providence has set over you to watch for your souls and desire his help in setling the case of your souls for increase of knowledg strengthening of faith quickening repentance and directing your practice in every good thing And so receive to the renewing of your
be prevailed upon by this and much more also True Christian love is grown so rare that often 't is not found among those called Christians in the same family and nearest relations the love and care of each others Souls is that which is least regarded and of all duties of Relations and Kindred this is neglected or forgot Men readily entertain Satans Suggestions in this respect and the best arguments are of no force when opposed by such thoughts as these 'T is not my duty I am not bound to it I think it may go down well with them that so live together as you have advised I think I should like to do so But as for perswading my partner my wife or my husband I have nothing to do with that To preach is the Ministers work let every one look to themselves each take their own way we may do well enough without joyning in Religious duties or at least without perswading one another to them Such are the thoughts of poor corrupted creatures not willing to joyn with Christ in the way of Gods appointment Now to prevent the stop which such thoughts may cause and that without doubting or shifting by excuses you may with full purpose of heart cleave to the Lord I desire you would consider these things 1. Consider seriously of such thoughts as in the presence of God Can you verily think that God will allow of such a plea and excuse does Gods word any where approve or favour it Nay does not his word direct and command the contrary what else is the meaning of those texts Comfort your selves together and edifie one another 1 Thes 5.11 Exhort one another daily while it is called to day Heb. 3.13 Consider one another to provoke to love and to good works Heb. 10.24 If these and the like texts make it the duty of assemblies and communities of Christians to perswade one another for their Souls good much more then is it the duty of neerer relations and becomes a command of greater force to such and renders those that neglect it utterly without excuse Consider what is the meaning of that word of the Lord Gen. 4.10 What hast thou done The voice of thy Brothers blood crieth unto me 'T is the Lords reply to that froward rash answer and inconsiderate excuse of Cain who said am I my brothers keeper And let conscience judge if the like word may not be spoken to you if you endeavour not to preserve if possible a neerer and bosom relation Beware then lest the voice of a perishing Soul cry against thy sinful negligence 2 Consider tho' it were not thy plain Christian duty to endeavour to win thy companion to Gods way by perswading yet be sure it is not thy duty to forbear perswasions And where there is but a probable appearance of doing good common human prudence will set you on perswading if indeed you love But if you reply that these things best come of themselves and that perswasions are for the most part of small purpose consider if men are hardly brought to the way of piety by perswasion will they more easily be brought to it by having nothing said to them for shame blush at such folly 3. Consider if lawful possible promises do bind to duty ought you not to be as good as your word and to do what you promised Now on that account of promise 't is certainly your duty both in sight of God and man You have solemnly promised as in the presence of God and God requires it of you and all true Christian friends and sober Christians are looking how you will behave your selves That you may more distinctly remember your promises I advise you to take these helps 1. Read over sometimes the office of Matrimony as in the Common Prayer-Book and with seriousness and consideration think on your marriage Vow and what you promised to each other when you consented to the married state That is to live together in love according to God holy ordinance I suppose you know that is to be meet helps to each other this is the appointment of God from the beginning And does this Ordinance or appointment of God respect help only in order to the good of the Body and not help for the Soul also I am fully perswaded that none dare say so but that it fully includes the help for the Souls good also And then think whether it be not your duty to defire each the other and endeavour to perswade each other to take the good and the right way for your Souls good to live together according to Gods holy ordinance as you have promised 2. Read over the prayers then to be used and think whether you did then truly desire those things or else minded them not and so mocked God Or do you yet desire those things indeed If you do you must acknowledg it your duty to endeavour to engage each other to that holy practice so to live together in holy love according to Gods Law and that you may see your Children Christianly and vertuously brought up to the praise and honour of God that you your selves hinder not those blessings you then begged of God 3. Read also those well chosen Scriptures that teach the duties of husbands and wives to each other and let them be as notes of memorial to bring you to your Bibles and so to bring you to your duty to perswade each other that you may thro' Christ Jesus come together to God I wish these things may be considered and prevail also I know they are sufficient if seriouslly considered to incline the mind and if that be but made willing I make no doubt but that I shall convince you that you are able and that you can do much by way of perswasion if you please Sect. VI. Shewing that young people are able to perswade one another if they are indeed willing to enter on Gods holy way I Might now justly leave it to your consciences to judg and am confident you must approve in the general of what I am perswading you to But I know that tho' you are convinced that is fully perswaded that you ought to do so yet while corruption prevails the unwilling heart will find some thing to hinder from doing And tho' at last you are convinced that 't is your duty and that you ought to call upon and to perswade each other to lead a Religious life yet you are ready to say or think that you know not how to do it and therefore there is but small likelyhood that you should prevail and therefore you resolve to let it alone altogether You may say I am periwaded that I ought to do it but I cannot tell how to do it and therefore I will not do it Thus an unwilling mind is easily discouraged in this matter especially in such as have not before some savour of Religion and liking to a Religious life To such I answer and say you may endeavour if you are