to their superiours equalls and inferiours in all ages times and places This is that faire Edifice whereof intimation was made before fairer then the Edifices which have formerly been erected by Xenophon in his d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Institution of Cyrus by Plutarch in his Treatise e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of training up children by Clemens Alexandrinus in his f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Instructour of children by Hierome in his Epistle to Laeta concerning the g De institutione fiâ—iae educating of her daughter by Erasmus in his Discourse h De pueris statim libe aliter instituendis of timely and liberall training up of children or by others in like Treatises This Author hath more punctually and pertinently handled all kinde of duties from ones first entrance into this world to his going out thereof then any of the fore-named Authors or any other that have written of the like subject Such varietie of matter is here couched as it will prove usefull to all of all sorts that will reade and heed it The Lord give a blessing to this and all other like labours of his faithfull servants Amen William Gouge THE CONTENTS OF THE BOOK CHAP. I. WHat the Parents dutie when it begins Gods gracious work upon the Childe framing it in the wombe and giving it its due proportion of parts what thanks therefore pag. 1. 2. How Sinne defaceth Gods Image How repaired Of Baptisme and the solemnitie thereof The Mother the Nurse to pag. 4. The Mother is most imployed about the head of the Childe my head my head saith the Childe carry him to the Mother saith the Father 2 Kings 4. 19. The Mother is charged with the head Father and Mother both with the heart and this work is for the closset pag. 4. What Infancy is called an Innocent Age but miscalled Something may be done even then for the rectifying the Childes body and his heart too Grave considerations pressing to that Dutie from pag. 5. to pag. 9. CHAP. II. CHild-hood and youth how they differ wherein they agree unhappy Ages both The period of this Age not easily defined The Parent makes it longer or shorter as their care is more or lesse pag. 10. Parents not discharged in point of care when they have charged the Schoole with their childe how vain that thought pag. 12. How preposterous the Parents care How much Father and Mother both do crosse their own ends What a point of wisdome it is well to Time our beginnings When the Seed-Time what their imployment there to pag. 15. CHAP. III. A Two-fold imployment which lyeth in the order of Nature and right reason Lets hindring this two-fold dutie two fondnesse fiercenesse extreames yet ordinarily in one and the same Parent I. Of fondnesse what causeth it Youth more profitable Child-hood more delightfull * Fructuosior est adolescentia liberorum sed Infantia dulcior Sen. epist 9. What hurt fondnesse doth The Divels murthering engine to pag. 18. Foure mightie considerations to fortifie us against it from pag. 19. to pag. 22. Three examples evidencing how destroying it is to pag. 24. Repeated concluded in Mr. Boltons words with some use of the whole to all Parents to page 26. II. Fiercenesse whose fruit it is and how much it hinders to pag. 27. It helps not to unroot evill but rather roots it more in to pag. 29. It hinders much the Implanting of good to pag. 30. Considerations which may help to calme a Parent when in heat of spirit he is about to unroot evill are three very worth his consideration to pag. 33. Considerations which may arrest a Parents hand when he is about the implanting of good are foure which being considered will command an answerable practise to pag. 35. CHAP. IIII. OVr nature like a soyle fruitfull of weeds what they are and how unrooted 1. Pride the heart-string of corruption Chrysostomes note upon it how cherished how the contrary grace may and ought to be instilled to pag. 38. 2. Frowardnesse a spice of the former The Parents dutie here how the contrary grace may be inforced to pag. 40. 3. The way of lying and the way the Parent must take to prevent the course of it a great work if it may be done if not the Childe is fit for no societie to pag. 41. 4. Idlenesse how corrupting and provoking Labour how naturall to a man how he is provoked thereunto to pag. 43. 5. A bad Malignus comes quamvis candido simplici rabiginem suam suam affricuit Sen. epist 7. companion how infectious and corrupting he will defile the best and most candid nature with his foule example pag. 44. 6. The evill of the Tongue prevented by teaching the Childe silence and this the Parent must teach himself and his Childe under five notions The briefe of that which concernes the Childes Instruction is while it is a Childe let its words be answers Nature teacheth much at this point and they more who walked by an higher light pag. 47. 7. An oath a word cloathed with death in a Childes mouth the Parent as in all so here very exemplary yea yea nay nay The Friers note upon those words No more must be heard from a Childe pag. 48. 8. The Childe must be taught what weight there is in those words yea yea c. A good hint there-from to teach the Childe to abhorre that religion which gives no weight to words nor oathes neither pag. 51. 9 10 11 12. Nick-names and abuses that way are ordinary with Children and a fruit of corrupt nature so quarrelling uncovering their nakednesse mocking scorning the meaner sort Great evills to be corrected and prevented in Children betimes a notable example to presse us thereunto to use our Inferiours kindely to pag. 53. 13. Cursing a great evill so imprecations against our selves Foure great examples full of instructions who spake rashly and were payed home in that they spake to pag. 57. 14. As Childrens Tongues must be watched over for the Tongue is a world of wickednesse so must their hands They will spill more then they eate how to teach Children to prize the good creatures pag. 59. 15. Children delight in the pain and vexation of those weake creatures that are in their power A great evill to be looked unto and prevented betimes considering our natures what they are page 61. 16. Nature fruitfull of evills more then can be pointed at or prevented but that is the true and genuine order of nature to prevent the evills thereof first pag. 62. 17. Teaching by examples the best way of teaching and the shortest they make the deepest impression pag. 64. CHAP. V. THe implanting of good the order therein The foure seasons in the day seasonable therefore 1. How uncomfortable darknesse is how comfortable the light A notable lesson there-from wherein our light and the true light differ to pag. 67. The Sun knoweth his appointed Time what that teacheth The Sun is glorious in his
rising and refresheth how that instructeth pag. 68. Sin and sorrow will sowre the sweetest earthly Blessings where the root of our comfort pag. 69. The Sun a publique servant teacheth man so to be even to serve his brother in Love and to shew to him the kindnesse of the Lord what the Idol of the world what makes man an abomination from pag. 69. to pag. 71. The Morning the first fruits of the day our season what a Mercy to have it but a greater to take it what our first work and with whom what our engagements to set about it what may be instilled by continuall dropping from pag. 71. to pag. 77. CHAP. VI. VVEeat bread at Noon What that implieth how fraile our bodies what our use therefrom pag. 78. Our right to the Creatures how lost how regained pag. 79. In eating we must use abstinence Intemperance how provoking to God how hurtfull to man and unbeseeming the Lord of the Creatures to pag. 81. When the fittest season to teach and learn abstinence how necessary a grace specially in these times when so much wrath is threatned What use a Parent must make hereof to Children Their lesson before and at the table to pag. 85. When we have eaten we must remember to return Thanks The threefold voice of the Creatures what the Taxation or Impost set upon every Creature If we withhold that homage we forfeit the blessing The memorable words of Clemens Alexandrinus A strange punishment upon one who seldome or never returned thanks so concluded pag. 90. CHAP. VII THe Method in reading the Book of the Creatures Foure Objections with their Answers out of the Lord Verulam to pag. 93. How to reade the Book of the Creatures Extreames corrected and accorded Two primitive Trades An Apocrypha Scripture opened and made usefull to pag. 97 How to teach the Childe to spell the Book of Nature What is the compendious way of Teaching to pag 100. Essayes or Lectures upon the creatures beginning at the Foot-stool Three enquiries touching the earth 1. What form or figure 2. Whence its dependance 3. What its magnitude Instructions therefrom very grave and usefull all from pag. 100 to pag. 107. A view of the Creatures In their variety delightfull and usefull Two Creatures onely instanced in From a little Creature a great instruction What a mercy to be at peace with the stones and creeping things From pag. 107. to pag. 114. The Waters their Surface barres or bound Their weight The Creatures therein the ship thereupon Great lessons from all from pag. 114. to pag. 122. repeated and mans ingratitude convinced 123. The Aire The wayes and operations thereof admirable Whence changed and altered for mans use sometimes for his punishment The windes Their circuit Their wombe to pag. 125. The winged Creatures Their provision and dependance greatly instructing man and reproving his distrust to pag. 126. The Clouds the ballancing of them The binding the waters within them The making a course for the Rain out of them All these three the works of Him that is wonderfull in working to pag. 127. Of Lightning But the Thunder of His power who can understand Job â—6 14. The Snow and the Haile and where their Treasure to pag. 128. The wonderfull height of the starrie Heaven Of the Firmament Why so called and why the Firmament of His Psal 150. power The eye a curious Fabrick of admirable quicknesse How excellent the eye of the soul when cleared with the True eye-salve The heavens outside sheweth what glory is within Chrysostomes use thereof and complaint thereupon to pag. 134. Of the Sunne Why I descend again to that Creature Three things in that great Light require our Mark. Grave and weighty lessons from all three Concluded in Mr Dearings and Basils words to pag. 144. CHAP. VIII THE Day and Night have their course here But after this life ended it will be alwayes Day or alwayes Night A great Instruction herefrom to pag. 147. Our senses are soon cloyed We are pleased with changes What Darknesse is The use thereof A little candle supplies the want of the Sun How that instructeth How we are engaged to lie down with thoughts of God to pag. 153. CHAP. IX A Great neglect in point of education Mr Galvines Mr Aschams Mr Perkins and Charrons complaint thereof The ground of that neglect to pag. 156. The Parent must fix upon two conclusions Of the School Whether the Childe be taught best abroad or at home 157. The choice of the Master Parents neglect therein The Masters charge 159. His work His worth if answerable to his charge to pag. 160. The Method or way the Master must take How preposterous ours Who have appeared in that way to pag. 164. The School must perform its work througly The childes seed-time must be improved to the utmost before he be promoted to an higher place The danger of sending Children abroad too soon When Parent and Master have promoted the Childe to the utmost then may the Parent dispose of the Childe for afterwards to pag. 165. CHAP. X. OF Callings Some more honourable as are the head or eye in the body But not of more honour then burden and service Elegantly pressed by a Spanish Divine and in Sarpedons words to Glaucus to pag. 169. The end and use of all Callings pag. 171. Touching the choice of Callings How to judge of their lawfulnesse To engage our faithfulnesse No excuse therefrom for the neglect of that one thing necessary Our abiding in our Callings and doing the works thereof How Nature teacheth therein The designing a Childe to a Calling Parents too early and preposterous therein 177. Parents may aime at the best and most honourable calling The Ministerie a ponderous work 178 But he must pitch upon the fittest In the choice thereof the Parent must follow Nature and look-up to God THE PREFACE SHEVVING the necessitie and worth of a vertuous education and may serve as an introduction to Dutie OUr great Advancer of Learning noteth an opinion of Aristotle which is this a Lib. 7. p. 375. In English Book 2. p. 263. That of those things which consist by nature nothing can be changed by custome using for example That if a stone be thrown up tenne thousand-times it will not learne to ascend and that by often seeing and hearing we doe not see or heare the better That Noble Scholler noted this for a negligent opinion so he cals it I know not why because the Philosopher doth instance in Peremptory nature and he took pains to informe us touching the same It is true saith he In things wherein nature is Peremptory Man cannot make massie bodies to hang in the Aire like Meteors he cannot make an Oxe to flye That which is crooked saith the wise man b Eccles 1. 15. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 man cannot make straight There is a Peremptory bent of nature which man cannot turne no more then he can turne back a Spring-tide or a Rushing winde
should as faithfully for it were my duty bestow upon him the culture and manurance of his minde first and as readily I should doe it and I should thinke to very good ends as another Parent would doe that had designed his to the Colledge The purpose then I tend unto and that I would conclude from hence is but this What ever is wanting to the Childe Let not education or instruction be Wanting t 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Clem. Alex. stro 1. p. 209. Children who have beene no way apt by Nature have beene made Apt by education And they who have been very Apt by Nature to good have proved very bad by neglect and carelesnes Translated out of the same Author the following page 210. Fill up this emptie space which commonly Parents make so with some seasonable instructions And the more unfit and unapt the Child is the more the Parents care and paines must be Nor must the Parent be hartlesse in the businesse but as the Husbandman their work is like sometime they meete with hard and stony places which by good culture they make fruitfull he must labour in hope And how unserviceable soever the Childe seeme to be yet He that had need of an Asse can make use of him whereto though the Parent cannot designe him yet his Lord can I remember that Noble Schollar Morneus tels us That his Maide would sweepe out of his study and into the Dust-basket such little pieces as he could make very good use of and could not spare so by his appointment in She brought them againe wherein he taught both the Maide and us not to despise Small things there may be for ought we know a blessing in them nor neglect the poorest weakest creatures What know we what the Great God intends them for Let the Parent doe his Duty He shall finde great satisfaction therein in giving his utmost care and paines A Pilot saith Quintil. hath a satisfying plea though his ship miscarry that he was watchfull at the Sterne and imployed his best care and skill there If Parts be wanting and Grace too a Commoditie the Parent cannot stow in the Childe yet he must be lading it as he can yet the Parent hath this comfort in case of miscarriage That he he hath steered his course according to the Rules of Right Reason and by the Compasse of Gods Word In case of defects and wants in the Childe we must learne submission to Him that made it so We must not strive with our Maker Let the Potsheard strive with the Potsheards of the earth What weaknesse or imperfection there is we must think it good because the Lord sees it best As we must not question His power no not in a wildernesse so not His worke because if it be deformed sinne hath done it The work must not say to the workman why hast thou made me so God made us well we unmade our selves Sinne causeth this double decay of Gods Image on us We may note this with it That a good man may have a bad house yet the man never the worse And a good wit and a good minde both though it is none of the best signes u Natura ubi peccat in uno periclitatur in alâ—â—ro may have a bad dwelling And if so we must comfort our selves in this That God can supply the want of eyes hands feet He can give some inward speciall gift which will countervaile that want what ever it be The want of the outward-eye shall intend the minde perhaps further the inward and more noble light and so in the rest It may be also if those had beene open they had been guides to much evill and the hands as active that way and the feete as swift which now are maimed or imperfect And as we must learne to submit unto Him not questioning His worke so also to depend upon Him not questioning His power no not in a wildernesse An happy weaknesse as before was said that puts us off from our owne bottome and rooteth us on God Who can provide there and then when man is at a stand The lesse likelyhood in the creature the greater should be the creatures trust The Lord many times crosseth the streame and course of meanes to shew his own Soveraignty and to exercise our dependance He setteth aside more likely and able meanes and blesseth weake meanes to great purpose Things or instruments by which God will worke may have very meane appearance as worthlesse they may be in shew as a dry y Exod. 7. 17. stick an Oxes z Judg. 15 16. goad or the jaw-bone a Judg. 3. 31. of an Asse yet of singular efficacy when God will be pleased to work by them Who as one saith b Maxima è miaimis suspendens Adv. 132. 112. doth hang the greatest weights upon the smallest wyars which may teach us a patient submission unto Him and a quiet dependance on Him The summe is and our lesson If the Childe have great parts signes thereof there may be be greatly thankfull but boast not of thy selfe nor Childe as many doe a commoditie quickly changed as a forward Spring is quickly blasted If the Childe have weake parts be thankfull too and rest content Crave wisdome the rather to improve them to make them stronger as too few doe but so we should doe and it is all we can doe when we have spread our selves and our Childe as the King the letter before the Lord. 3. The Parent must forbeare and forbid all reproachfull scorning words they are too ordinary from Masters servants and others yea and from Parents too in case the Childe have any noted imperfection or uncomelinesse There must be great care taken here Vilifying words hurt much and sad the spirits As we are taught touching the Parts of our body so touching our Childe I suppose it to be infirme and defective The more deformitie and uncomelinesse it hath the more weaknesse of parts the more honour and incouragement let it have for we shall finde the poore Childe apt to discouragement A Parent must see to it also that his weake Childe be not slighted by his Brothers or Sisters which is too ordinary How deepe soever Children are in our affections and one deeper then the other yet is it a point of discretion to ballance c Non debent fratres lancium instar c. Plut. defrater Amore them outwardly as even as possibly may be One must not be like a scale at the top another at the bottome He that is apt nimble and ready must not have all the encouragement and he that is heavy and dull none at all Nay a Parent must look to it that his weake Childe so I suppose the case hath in praise and commendation above his merit and proportion He must imploy him sometimes and commend d Rogetur laudetur saepius vincere se putet Quint. 1. 1. him too in such things whereof perhaps the
this point is to take a right Scale and measure of his Childes parts and so answerably to fit it with a fit Calling The Parent must labour by all means to hide Pride from the Child I meane The Parent must beat it off from vaine-glory and selfe-conceit young folke have the best opinion of themselves because they discerne themselves worst and to shake it off from sloth that Moth and Canker of our Parts The one Pride will make the man and Childe both to lay open their weaknesses The other Sloth will make them not to know Qui se nescit uli se nescit their strength or not to put it forth And let the Parent having done his endeavour comfort himselfe with this That how weake or unserviceable soever his Childe seemes to be if not doubly deformed in respect of his parts yet there is no member but it is fitted with some abilities to do some service in the body and by good nurture and manurance may grow up to a greater measure And let him consider this with it That as in the body naturall the most exalted part the Head hath need of the lowest the foote so there is not the greatest person but may have use both of the parts and graces of the meanest in the Church I say more though I may not say The head more needs the foote then the foote the head nor will I say though so it is concluded f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost 1 Cor. 13. Hom. 34. Aristop 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Act. â— Sc. 5. That the poore man who is as the foot doth not so much need the Rich who is as the head as the rich man needs the poore man for who needs more or who lesse that is not the point but one needs the other that is certaine Nay one cannot be without the other And this that the poore man may not be too much cast downe nor the rich overmuch exalted but that the one and the other may glorysie Him that hath so disposed them so as in the body there should be no lack But now in the last place for maintenance for the Childe how he shall live hereafter The thoughts whereof so take up and tyre out the Parents thoughts so stuffs his heart and disquiets his Rest and peace For this is the great enquiry who will shew us any good Where is this preferment to be had How shall I make my Childe rich and high in the World Where shall I finde a place where he may have great wages and little work This is the great enquiry All the Parents Travels hither and thither is but to make discovery of this point where this fortunate Iland is where is gold and there he would land his Childe and no other reason can he give of all his dangerous adventures but this and this carryeth him and dasheth him upon rocks also because the gold of that Land is good This is the sore Travell and one of the great evils under the Sunne And a folly it is exceeding that of the simplest Idiot in the World for it is as if the Parent should lay out all his whole stock of wealth and wit to purchase and furnish a Chamber for his Childe in a Through fare and provide it no house in the City where it is forever to dwell I cannot take off this vaile of false g What madnesse is it to spend all our labour to possesse our selves of the Cislerne when the fountaine is offered unto us S. C. p. 642. opinion But assuredly if we would follow the counsell of the wise we might shorten our sore Travell at this point and make our way to Comfort more compendious The Counsell is this Our g S. C. p. 249. care must be to know our work touching our selves touching ours and then to doe it and so to doe it as unto God with conscience of moderate diligence for over-doing and overworking any thing comes either from oftentation or distruct in God And negligence is so S. Con. â—49 farre from getting any blessing that it brings us under a curse That which belongs to us in our calling is care of discharging our duty That which God takes upon him is Assistance and good successe in it Let us look to our worke and leave God to doe His owne Diligence and Trust in Him is onely ours the rest of the burthen is His h Let us make good our ends and the meanes we use and God wil make good the issue and turne all to the best Dr. Feat p. 103. We must part our care so as to take upon us onely this care of Duty and leave the rest to God S. Con. 85. In a Family the Fathers and the Mothers care is the greatest The Childes care is onely to obey and the servants to doe his work Care of Provision and Protection doth not trouble them Most of our disquietnesse in our Calling is that we trouble our selves about Gods work whereas we should Trust God and be doing in fitting the Childe and let God alone with the rest He stands upon His credit so much that it shall appeare we have not trusted Him in vaine even when we see no appearance of doing any good when we cannot discerne by all our spialls the least shew either for provision or Protection We remember who were very solicitous for their Children and because they could not provide for them nor protect them neither therefore perish they must in the wildernesse We must remember also That the Lord took care of those Children and destroyed those distrustfull parents who thought there was no path in a wildernesse because they could not discerne any nor meate to be had there because their hand was too short to provide it It is dangerous questioning the power of God in the greatest straite If He bring any person into a wildernesse it is because He may shew His power there for provision and protection both God works most wonderfully for and speaks the sweetest comfort to the heart in a wildernesse Note we this then and so I conclude There is much uncertainty in the Certainty of man and all Certainty in the uncertainty of God I tearme it so by allowance of the Spirit i 1 Cor. 1. 25. in respect of mans apprehension There is no uncertainty in God but all Certainty as in Him is all Wisdome all Strength We apprehend that there is a Certainty in man and an Uncertainty in God for if we observe our hearts we Trust Him least but that is our Foolishnesse and Weaknesse There is all uncertainty in men even in the best of men in Princes place no Certainty there There is all Certainty in God as in Him is all Wisdome and Strength put we confidence there Cast we Anchor upwards Commit we all but in well-doing all we have and all we are into his everlasting Armes Then assuredly we shall finde a stay for our selves and a portion for ours Provision
but the waters there-out followed them so the Parents pray That this water may ever follow the childe as a fresh spring still Ch. 1. sect 3. quickening washing refreshing untill the day of refreshing shall come This is their dutie now and this is all they can do beside the tending of it and this their dutie and their life must end together Now the childe lyes at the mothers breast or in the lap she is the nurse without question or so she should be though it is a resolved case that in some cases she cannot and in some she may not mercy must be regarded before this sacrifice But looke we still That mercy be not the pretence and ease the thing that is pleaded for that alters the case very much and will not prove a sufficient excuse wherewith to put off so bounden a dutie The * Aul. Gel. lib. 12. cap. 1. Macrob lib. 5. cap. 11. Erasm puerp Heathen have spoke enough to this point and more then all the Christians in the world can answer for the deserting and putting off unlesse in the cases before pointed at this so naturall and engaged a service At the mothers breast then we suppose the childe is and the eyes are open abroad it looks nothing delights it they shut againe as if it would tell the Parent what they should be now and it selfe hereafter both crucified to the world and the world to them 3. The childe is yet so little that here is little for the father to do yet All that is and it is no little worke is in his closet But besides that for it is the mothers worke too here is work for the mother enough It must be tended though it sleepe much more when it is awake And here is the observation It is hard to say which is more the mothers tendernesle or the childes frowardnesse and yet how they agree how they kisse one the other as if the parent were delighted with it It is an affection somewhat above nature implanted for the preservation of man so the Heathen could say by the God of mercy otherwise it might not be so for the more froward it is the more she tenders the little thing And it much encreaseth the childes score which he can never pay The Parent and the childe can never cut scores or strike tallies for they will never lye even 4. Infancy is a dreame we say The most part of it is Ch. 1. sect 4 5. spent in the cradle and at the breast the remainder in dressing and undressing Little can be said to it And yet something may be done even the first two yeers for the framing of the body as Nurses know best but something it is and the fashioning of the minde too and the younger it is with the better successe I have read of a great Conquerour yet not so great as that he could overcome his passions or an ill custome it is a second nature he learnt an unbeseeming gesture at the brest and shewed it on his throne If I remember his Nurse was blamed for it for she might have remedied it while the parts were tender Some-thing may be done also for the fashioning of the minde and preventing of evill It is much what they who are below Christians have spoken and practised this way which I passe over Note we The first tincture and dye hath a very great power beyond ordinary conceit or my expression And therefore observe well what they do who are about this childe not yet three yeers old and what the childe doth It may soone learne some evill and that evill may grow past helping quickly Looke to the eye and eare all goes indifferently in as well as at the Mouth and you shall smell the Caske presently just what the liquor was Keep the inward and hid-man as you should do the outward neat and free from contagion and corruption as young as it is it may receive a bad tincture and that entreth easily now which will not depart without difficultie 5. I have heard a childe sweare before he could creepe Qui jurat cumrepit quid noâ— adultus faciet Quin. Aug. Confess lib. cap. 7. hereupon the heathen man hath asked what will such an one do when it is grown up I have seene a childe threaten yet it could not strike and scratch before it could hurt and pale with anger it was Augustines observation because another did partake of its milke And this corruption which so soone will shew it self is strangely furthered by a foolish practise Give me a blow childe and I will beat what hath offended This teacheth revenge betime that daring and presumptuous sinne for it disthrones God and puts the law out of office I say that practise leades unto it as we might Chap. 1 sect 5 easily observe if we would observe any thing Many thinke that the Time is not yet it is yet too soone to be so watchfull over the childe But by this neglect and putting off we suffer matter of trouble to be prepared We neglect not a sparke because it is little but we consider how high it flies and how apt things about it are to take fire There is no greater wisedome said that great Scholler then well to Lord Verul Essayes 21. 125. Time the Beginnings and on sets of things Dangers are no more light if they once seeme light Our dutie is to looke to small things they leade to great Is custome no small matter said one who was short of a Christian Shorten the childe in its desires now specially if it be hasty and cry and will have it Then say some the childe must have it say I no but now it should not Shorten it here and the rather because it cryes if he have it give him it when it is still and quiet Correction rather when it cryes Let it not have its will by froward meanes Let it learne and finde that they are unprofitable and bootlesse A childe is all for the present but a Parents wisedome is to teach it to waite Much depends on it thereby a Parent may prevent eagernesse and shortnesse of spirit which else will grow up with the childe and prove a dangerous and tormenting evill We shall helpe this hereafter and soone enough say some Let the childe have its will now it is but a childe And be it so but that is the way to have a childe of it as long as it liveth As Sr. Thomas More said to his Lady after his manner wittily but truely They might as well say they will bend the childe hereafter when it is as stiffe as a stake though they neglect it at the present when it is as tender as a Sprig I will tell my observation I have knowne some children who might not be shortned least it should shorten their growth what they would have they should have for they were but children these have lived to shorten their Parents dayes and their own and to fill all with
heart nor to fetch out a lye though in these cases a Parent must be very active and if he spares his childe he kills it It is a great fault in parents saith one for fear of taking down of the childs spirits not to take down its pride and get victory over its affections whereas a proud unbroken heart raiseth us more trouble then all the world beside And if it be not taken down betimes it will be broken to pieces by great troubles in age I shall consider this evill and some others in fit place now in this place I am removing that which hindreth The parent is bound to teach the childe how to bear the yoke from its youth This duty the parent is engaged upon Lam. 3. 27. But the parent must use a great deale of discretion in the putting on this yoke The parent must not stand in a menacing posture before the childe as ready to strike as to speak and giving discouraging words too When we would back our Colt or break a skittish Heifer to the yoke the comparison holds well we do not hold the yoke in one hand and a whip in the other but we do before them as we know the manner is else there would be much ado in putting on the yoke and in breaking or backing the Colt they would be both more wilde and lesse serviceable It is much so with children if our carriage be not ordered with discretion before them we may make them like those beasts more unruly and perhaps all alike or if they learn any thing by such froward handling it will be frowardnesse When we would work upon a childe our carriage before it should be quiet and as still as might be just in the same posture that a man stands in before the live mark which he would hit he doth not hoot and hollow when he takes his ayme for then he would fright away the game by his rudenesse but so he stands as we well know the manner like one who means to hit the mark Our ayme is the good of the childe we must look well to our deportment before it else we may fright away our game There are some natures saith Clem. Alex. like yron hardly flexible but by the fire hammer and anvill that is as he expounds it by reproofs Paed. li. 2. c. 10. pag. 97. threats blows and all this may be done and must if done well intermes of mildnesse and pleasing accent with force of reason rather then hardnesse of blows and if it might be in the spirit of meeknesse remembring still Mr. Tindals Letter Martyr pa. 987. words As lowlinesse of heart shall make you high with God even so meeknesse of words shall make you sink into the hearts of men I have observed a childe more insolent and stout under a rigorous and rough hand but calmed after the heat was over on both sides with a milde gentle perswasion that workt force and violence hardens when as a loving and gentle perswasion wins upon the heart thaws and melts the same Harshnesse loseth the heart and alienates the affections 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Hom. 26. in 1. Cor. 11. but mildnesse gaineth all Proud flesh as experience tells us is taken down by lenitives the most gentle and soft applications So the pride and roughnesse of our nature is subdued by lenitives and not by another roughnesse as the Father speaketh elegantly We may note too the more rigour the childe apprehends and the more the rod is threatned which is the onely thing a childe feares the more the childe will hide it self like that unwise man who standing at the entry of an unlawfull but too much frequented place and finding himself eyed by a friend whom he would not should see him there shrunk in his head and in he went If a man had no more wit what expect we from a childe He was ashamed a Non sum adeo aetatum imprudens ut instandum teneris protinus acerbè pâ—tem c. Quint. Instit l 1. cap 1. to be seen at the doore he helpt himself well to go within the doores then as his friend said he was within indeed and the further he was so much the more within so a childe will do he will hide himself in the thicket at least he thinks so further and further if he apprehend much rigour there is much wisedome to be used here and mercy also and great reason there is to incline us to both as we shall hear in due place For the present that which hath been said may assure us that fiercenesse helps not in the unrooting of evill it hinders much the implanting of good There it hurts very much which is the second 2. If ever mildnesse gentlenesse calmnesse and sweetnesse of carriage do good and do become then more especially when we would winne upon the affection and sink into the understanding when we would lodge some precepts in the minde draw the heart and set it right Now while we are instructing handle the childe freely and liberally in a sweet and milde way speak kindly to it we must now and then we may have its heart for ever if we be rough and harsh now we fright away our game The instruction which we inforce into the minde by a kinde of violence will not long continue there but what is insinuated and fairly induced with delight and pleasure will stick in the mind the longer Trem. Preface before Iob. If Moses be to instruct he is commanded to speak not to smite and it teacheth us That a sweet compellation and carriage wins much upon the heart but we suppose we are dealing with children It is a mad behaviour and no better to suffer the hand to move as fast as the tongue and to strike at the head too the seat of understanding The head is to our little worla as man is to the great world the verie abridgement or epitome of a man spare the head of any place else you may drive out that little which is and stop the entrace for coming in of more The Lord make all teachers understand this truth and pardon our failings herein and the Lord teach parents also whose duty more peculiarly we are upon to correct and instruct their children in all meeknesse That we may all learn I will set down some considerations which may calm the parent and take off from his hastinesse when he would unroot evill a great enemy to that good he ows and doth really intend the childe 3. I suppose now such a parent who hath beene fierce and eager upon the childe striking flinging kicking it as the usuall manner is because of its stomack towards the parent which he will pluck down and because it stands in a lie which he is resolved to fetch on t such a Parent I suppose for such there are and this I would have him consider it may make him wiser against the next time First †1. Who is
left to himself when he is least himself when he is in the most slipperie age and place y 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrys in Gen. Hom. 44. ω. Reade Ascham schol p. 13. I mean when the furnace of concupiscence is most heated as the Father speaks when affections are strongest from within and provocations more stirring from without Therefore till the childe hath some good understanding of himself and book till he can command the one and well use the other what should he do abroad either at the Vniversitie Innes of Court or in a farre Countrey We can neither teach nor learn how to weigh measure or point the winde as the Noble Advancer speaketh against the sending of children abroad too soon and too unripe Humanitie will not down nor Logick neither and Littleton worse then either of the former They that go too unripe to those places quickly grow rotten In all probabilitie and we cannot easily conceive otherwise youth will leave that they understand not and can finde no sweetnesse in And they will to that which they can do and their natures must needs relish They will to such companions their books they understand not whose language they can skill off and when they cannot draw at the fountain they will to the sinke in those places and you may sent them as strongly that there they have been as if they had fell into a vessell wherein is no pleasure There is great cause we should labour to set our children as upright as we can and to fix their carriage before we send them forth from us else there is great danger of miscarrying considering what our natures are as was said z Pag. 44. The summe then touching this point is That there be a Graduat proceeding with the childe as up a paire of staires That the childes seed-time be improved to the utmost And for the daughter that she have generall instructions all qualities the parent can bestow which may set off and yet stand with decency and sobrietie more specially that she be accustomed to the essentialls of huswifery unto all that may make her rejoyce in time to come And when the Parent in his house and the Master in the Schoole shall have thus fully discharged this care touching the childe then may the Parents have thoughts touching the disposing of it to some lawfull calling whereof as followeth CHAP. X. Chap. 10 Of Callings what the dignitie of some what the main end and use of all how to judge of their lawfulnesse Our faithfulnesse and abiding therein Doing the proper works thereof Designing the childe thereunto THE Lord hath disposed us in the civill Body as He hath the members in the naturall one needing another and serving for the good of another and all for the common good The foot saith not if I had been the hand I had served the body nor saith the hand if I had been the head I had served the body every member in his proper place doth his proper office for therefore hath the wise Disposer placed it so God hath set the members every one of them in the body as it hath pleased Him a 1 Cor. 12. 17. 19 20 21 22. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrysost Ibid. Hom. 32. juxta cap. α. And if they were all one member where were the body But now are they many members yet but one body And the eye cannot say unto the hand I have no need of you Nay much more those members of the body which seeme to be more feeble are necessary The Lord so tempering the body together that there should be no schisme in the body Even so in the body politique God hath given to some the preheminence and principalitie of the head They must look to their influence They are resembled to the head for weightie causes who can conceive the manifold instruments of the soul which are placed in the head the consideration whereof instructeth very much It is an high point of honour to be head and Lord over others so is it an high point of service It will not be impertinent to remember the words of a great Divine and devout Spaniard to his great Lord b Avila's Spirituall epistles 15. pag. 130. which are these Looke upon the Lord of men and angels whose person you represent He that sits in the place of another it is but reason that he have the properties of Him Whose place he represents A Lord of vassals is a Lieutenant of God There is nothing to which great Lords ought to attend so much as truly and cordially and like men who live in the presence of God to remaine ever faithfull and firme to Him without hanging either to this way or to that And this will be easily performed by that great man who shall attentively consider That he is but the Minister of God as one who but meerely executes and must not exceed the Commission which is given to him God places not great Lords in the world to the end that they may do and undo what they list but to execute the laws of His holy will And though they may account themselves Lords yet are they still under the universall Lord of all in comparison of whom they are more truly vassalls then their vassalls are theirs and their power is as truly limited as their vassalls power is for as much as concernes the dispensing with what they ought to do So much to his dutie whose office is to be the head of the body how great that office is and how strong the engagement for the answerable discharge of the same Others He hath made Seers as the eyes of the body such grace and excellency He hath given them They must look to it that their eye be single single towards their Masters glory These considerations will help much hereunto first That they are called His holy ones upon whom the Lord hath put the Vrim and the Thummim such excellencies we can neither expresse nor conceive c Exod. 28. 30. Quae qualâ—a fuerint non constat 2. That the higher their place is the lower their service The eye must observe how the feet walk The more proper and peculiar their persons are the more common servants they are They must observe how the hands work nor so only they are a leading hand look on me and do likewise d Judg. 7. 17. for they are as the Ship-Admirall that carryeth the Lanthorn but of this a little after The third consideration is That the Apostles were sent forth as if they had neither bellies to feed nor backs to cloath yet neither did want as men of another world divided betwixt two and faithfull Stewards for both Their Lord and His Church Publique persons these are they must serve others not themselves the eye sees not for it self not yours but you e 2 Cor. 12. 14. is a standing rule At that instant saith that devout Spaniard doth that person cease to
be publique when he hangs never so little towards the particular he must stand like a stalke of a ballance no wayes bending Lastly then I will remember for it is very usefull how that grave Divine f Avila's Spirituall epist Ibid 131. writes to him whom God had set as an eye in the body Your Lordship must consider that as you are set as an eye in the body so hath He placed you in the eyes of many who take that to be a rule of their lives which they see you do make account that you are seated in a high place and that your speech and fashions are seen by all and followed by the most men Take it for a point of greatnesse to obey the laws of Christ our Lord without doubt inferiour men would hold it an honour to do that which they saw practised by great persons And for this reason I beleeve that the Prelates of the Church and the Lords of the world are a cause of perdition to the most part of souls I beseech your Lordship that as you are a particular man you will look into your self with a hundred eyes and that you will look into your self with a hundred thousand as you are a person upon whom many look and whom many follow And take care to carry both your person and your house so orderly as the Law of Christ requires that he who shal imitate your Lordship may also imitate Christ our Lord therein and may meet with nothing to stumble at The vulgar is without doubt but a kinde of Ape Let great men consider what they do for in fine that will be followed either to their salvation if they give good example or for their condemnation if it be evill I will adde one thing more and it shall be the speech of Sarpedon to his brother Glaucus it is worth all mens knowledge Come on brother we are Lords over others accounted Gods upon earth Let us shew that we are so indeed and not in name Our work must evidence our worth They who are the highest Lords must in point of good service to their countrey be the lowest servants They that are above others in place must shine before others in vertue They that eat of the fattest and drink of the sweetest and so have the best wages must by the rule of propertion do the best work And this that our underlings such who are inferiour unto us may have cause to say these are honourable persons and they walk honourably they are prime first and principall men amongst us and they are as their preheminence in place imports the first and formost in every good and honourable action So Sarpedon g 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Hom. Iliad μ. 12. encourageth his brother That as two worthy persons they might do worthily and it is worthy every mans knowledge that hath preheminence above others And so much to assure us what the dutie of those great officers is who are set as the head over the body and as guides and lights thereunto They guide all They must be be well able well to guide and command themselves for as they guide so the people follow their example is a command h Cogi eos dicit qui exemplo Petri Judaizabanâ— Galat. 2. 14. Bez. if well they follow well Being like sheep a wandring cattle which will drive well in a flock but not single and alone i Advance B. â— 272. And as this may instruct us touching the dignity of those persons who are as the head and eyes in the body so may it informe us touching our obedience to both for from this little empire in this world obedience to the head is strongly inforced The beginning of all motion all the knots and conjugations of sinews are in and from the head they have their head there which teacheth that the bodies motion is by law from the head And for the eye it is notable which one observeth how observant all are of it and to it k Asâ—h Fox p. 62. A curious and delicate fabrick so precious for use that it seemes to be made of finer mould then the rest of the body But that it should be made of the same matter wherof Bricks and Tyles are sheweth that God is admirable in working Chrys to the people of Antioch Hom. 11. So much to those principall officers so fitly resembled to those principall parts in the body Others the Lord hath set as hands to the body as feet others every one in his proper place and station In the body naturall the eye hath the gift to see not to go The foot to go not to see In the great body of the world it is still as it was Hirams countrey yeelded excellent timber and stone Salomons countrey good wheat and oyle so in the body politique one needs another one supplyeth the need of another ones aboundance the others want Hereto we are called and stand bound as our callings are And to this end according to the diversitie of callings God hath given diversitie of gifts for the discharge of the same and better correspondence each to other and all this that there should be neither lack nor schisme in the body but that the members should have the same care one of another It were a monstrous thing said the Oratour if one arme should seek the strength and spirits of the other that it self might exceed its proportion in both and leave the other arme shrunk and withered so were it for one man to graspe unto himself the good and livelihood of another not caring so himself be increased how faint feeble and impoverished the other be This were monstrous in nature it is as monstrous in politie We may recall here the words of that Divine before mentioned There is no state but would perish and be undone if publique businesse should be lead after the pace of particular affections Our relation I mean our callings wherein we are placed should be a great meanes to sodder us together and to make us look as the Cherubins l Exod. 25. 20. with our faces one towards another for the good each of other for we are members one of another m Eph. 4. 25. a feeling expression there is much in that nay all to make us seek the peace and well-fare each of other We are all born to be fellow-workers and fellow-helpers as the feet hands and the eye-lids as the rowes of the upper and under teeth saith the Philosopher n M. Aut. medit B. â— sec 15. pag. 14. Societas nostra lapidum fornici similima Sen. epist And to the same purpose saith another Humane societies makes us like Arch-buildings wherein one stone holding up another makes the whole frame to stand fast and steddy But there is no such feeling consideration as this That we are members one of another and so placed in the body politique The same Philosopher could make a true and sound use thereof for thus
will our people say We cannot it is not possible we should there is no strength in us to do as they did They made the lame to go They raised the dead cleansed the lepers so they did we cannot do so we cannot follow them Say not so replyes the Father say not that we perswade to impossibilities things above all strength we tell you not That you must restore the sick worke miracles c. If so you could do it would do you no good it could give you no boldnesse before the Lord in that day A miracle doth not bring unto Heaven but a conversation heaven-ward Imitate the conversation of the Apostles and ye shall have no lesse then the Apostles did receive Follow peace with all men and holinesse go about doing good abounding in the worke of faith in the labour of love in the patience of hope g 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Nazianz. Orat 3 p. 77. So the Apostles did do so and ye shall have an Apostles reward For signes and wonders made not the Apostles happy but a pure life The summe is and this our greatlesson we have a worthy name our conversation must be answerable we must live act do worthily We must by a good conversation build up our selves and others If we answer our name we will to our power do worthily in Ephrata and be famous in Bethlehemh. I conclude with a short prayer and a short exposition on the same It is Hierom's prayer for his friend and his exposition upon it too i Hier epist l. 1. ep 55. p. 47. k Ruth 4 11. My prayer and heartie desire is That the Lord would in that day acknowledge the childe amongst those his children who are very good k Ier. 24. 5. That 's the prayer his exposition this The Lord loveth those who are upright in their way who are hot that is who are burning and shining lights who are seething hot fervent in prayer zealous of good works such He loves in such He rules with such He dwells and delights And He turns not away from those that are cold sinners of the Gentiles publicans notorious sinners key cold dead in trespasses and sinnes from such cold wretches such we were all He turnes not away But there are middling persons of a middle temper halting betwixt two or like a cake halfe baked neither good nor bad neither hot nor cold such the Lord hates He speweth them out that is they are an abomination His eyes can be no more towards such then ours towards our vomit which our overcharged stomacks have cast up and now our eye doth loath x Bright on Revel cap. 3. 15. 16. Mediocriâ—as hic est pessima Nihil in te mediocre esse contentus sum totum summum totuni perfectum desidiero Hier. Lib. 2. Epist 15. â— pag. 187. My prayer is thou maist be very good upright in thy wayes hot fervent in prayer zealous of good workes else better thou wert cold key cold for a middle Temper as it is most deadly so it is most abominable Thus as a learned man writeth to his great friend I could have written unto thee things more pleasing nothing more profitable But what I have or shall write nothing will profit unlesse the feare of God awes the heart and inclines it unlesse He teacheth inwardly words cannot outwardly Waxe takes an easie impression from Iron Iron not so but very hardly an Adamant takes no impression at all by all our force because of its hardnesse so Nazianzen Epist 130. And such hearts we have understand but so much and it will humble thee it will hide pride from thine eyes and then thy eare is prepared and heart too And so much as a preparative to the eare but the Lord bore it and to incline thy heart to understanding but the Lord open it This is all the parent can doe and his maine duty at this point even to spread this peremptory bent of nature as was a Preface to the first part said before the Lord whose worke it is to turne the heart and to open the eare to instruction which now followes THE CONTENTS CHAP. I. GOds Goodnesse in framing us in the wombe in bringing us thence ascribed to His hand though yet the sore pain of childe-birth no whit lesse engageth the Childe to the Mother how great that engagement is to pag. 5. duty to the Father enforced by a pressing-speech out of Luther and from two very great examples who brake that sacred bond and were remarkably punished to page 9. Gods patience in sparing and reprieving us His goodnesse in ranking us in the highest forme of His Creatures here below hoâ— that engageth and teacheth to page 13. His mercy in giving us all our parts or members and proportion in all a great engagement A recognition thereof and use therefrom to page 20. CHAP. II. OVr frame of spirit how depraved A glasse to look our selves in What seeds of corruption within us how it humbleth those that can look into it to p. 24. How to bottom our corruptions where its strong hold how we may fathom the depth of miserie The law of the leper to pag. 28. The love of the Father and the obedience of the sonne how figured out unto us to page 30. CHAP. III. BAptisme Outward Inward The secret work of the Spirit to page 31. We must not pry into this His secret if that work be not wrought Luthers counsell is to be followed Gods will holy and just Man willeth his own destruction to page 34. at this point reade the first part page 139. c. Lips de Constant lib. 1. cap. 20 c. lib. 2. cap. 15 c. Cent. 1. Ep. 58. Two things figured in Baptisme 35. 36. Our engagement from both How sacred our Christian name how strait our covenant 37. A feeling expression we are members and mighty to engage us that we are sons daughters heirs Solders who our enemies what their strength 39. A paradox against all conceit and reason Basil's complaint 40. A great question proposed and usefully answered 43. who the great tempters We must keep our watch strong 44. Our covenant Gods covenant Christ His obedience hath not abated an ace of ours Gods law broad and perfect The use a true Christian makes thereof One Root of grace and but one fruit to page 47. CHAP. IIII. THe root of sinne remaineth How the branches are kept from spreading 48. § 1. Pride why called the womans sinne whence it is that clothes haire c. do puffe up Whence we may fetch help against this Tympany or swelling disease What considerations most prevalent and abasing from page 48 to page 61. applyed to the childe The grace of humilitie to page 64. § 2. Our darling sinne why so called what a snare it is and how it becomes so How we may keep our foot from being taken in that snare Beginnings must be withstood Chrysostome's words very notable thereupon to page
67. Occasions must be prevented a watch kept over our senses Over our fancy That it may be ordered and must else all will be out of order to pa 73. What may awe our thoughts 74. What the soveraigne help next to the awfulnesse of Gods eye to page 79. the summe and use thereof to the Childe to page 81. § 3. Of profit how unsatisfying what doth satisfie indeed to page 82. § 4. Anger What it is whence it ariseth who most subject unto it How we may be armed against this passion and overcome it Chrysostome's note notable and Melanchthons practise Gods patience towards us mighty to perswade us thereto Abraham and Isaac how meek and yeelding this way of the tongue from page 83. to page 92. § 5. Of Censure Charities rule her mantle how largely we may stretch it according to Chrysostomes and Mr Perkins rule A rule in Herauldry of great use to pag. 95. § 6. Affections sometimes the stormes of the soul sometimes the sweet gale or winde thereof like moist elements Who boundeth them Considerations of use to moderate our feare sorrow c. to page 100. § 7. Of Discontent how unreasonable it is Considerations teaching us content in present things Chrysostomes short story very notable so are the Philosophers words with Mr Bradfords concluded to page 107. CHAP. V. THe Sacrament of the Lords Supper Graces required in those who present themselves at that Table If wanting what is to be done Note Chrysostomes words and Dr Luthers at that point The close of the chapter very notable so is Mr Raynolds meditation to page 121. CHAP. VI. MAriage A solemne ordinance I. Our well and orderly entring into that honourable estate Abuses very many and great touching that point in young and old Whose abuse most notorious and how justly punishable c. to page 125. Our rule in treating about a match application thereof to the childe A childe no match-maker A childe no match-maker A notable story to that purpose to page 127. The duty of every single person threefold of infinite concernment to page 131. The Parents or overseers duty at this point five-fold The last of the five least thought on and worse answered but of infinite concernment page 138. II. Our well ordering our selves in that state as becometh the honour thereof Affections at the first strongest how to guide their streame in a right channell sinne hath put all out of frame Chrysostomes note notable Page 140. Good to count our Cost and forecast trouble Page 142. Equality inequality hard to draw even The man the leading hand how he stands charged the weight of the charge If the head be surcharged or so headlesse it cannot lead or drawes backward what the wives duty The head hath a head a grave consideration 148. A consideration which may helpe to make up all breaches and silence all differences betwixt man and wife out of Chrysostome Page 149. Grievances rancked under two heads What is only evill and to be feared Page 152. Evils Imaginary Reall The former how prevented Page 154. The bearing the latter silently and like a Christian supposeth two things greatly to be studied to Page 158. Snares they spring from two rootes how snares from plenty are prevented that our foote be not taken with them Feare a Catholike remedy page 163. snares from scarcenesse how to breake through them and how to carry and quiet our spirits in them 165. The houswifes charge how it may be discharged towards children what the parents ambition touching them and servants our charge over them how neglected The houswifes duty engageth the Tongue that it bee apt to teach The eyes for over sight The hands that they be diligent and open mercy to the poore inforced to page 170. Diligence a great thriver well husbanding the present makes us secure for the after-time The family the fountaine of society how ordered if it be as those families whose praise is in the Gospell The conclusion to page 175 CHAP. VII OLD-Age as an Haven we must doe as men arrived safe there What questions we must put to our soules the more to quicken us to the sacrifice of praise Many questions resolved into one to page 180. Two periods of this Age. I. Desired not welcomed A calme Time if youth hath not troubled it It must be imployed The lamp of our life must not now blaze-out to page 184. A grave complaint and counsaile page 186. who gives understanding 187. II. How burdensome those yeares The Grashopper a Burden When our time is shortest our expectation is longest a weake Body but a strong presumption how vaine to think we can turne to God then when we have turned from Him all our dayes It is not our Time nor Gods Time to page 192. Fooles delay Time Children of wisdome not so to page 193. Two lessons drawne from hence We must not wish for death in a passion Eternity when we may wish for death to page 196. Not trifle away Time Grave counsell to that purpose 197. Who may be said properly to live Groanes not discernable from what spirit they proceed 199. We make an Idoll of the last prayer What first to be done 221. Comfort in death Whence the peace of the Godly They taste not death they see it not c. Applyed to the Child concluded Faults escaped Page 29. line 12. of thy wings read whereof Page 50. line 34. covered read opened Not be hid Page 108. line 7. this read thy 109. Last line read imply Page 116. line 29. would read should These faults were found not sought for and because they marre the sense are noted so might many more if there had been will or leasure to have perused the Book The Remaines must stand as properly belonging to every person and presse and expect favour from every one who knows himselfe partaking of the same common nature But if here are more faults then usuall our excuse is that the coppy could not be made legible by the Authors own hand and being written by another was the more wanting in stops and otherwise and we keep to the Coppy A CHILDES PORTION The Second Part. Respecting a Childe grown up CHAP. I. What we are taught by beholding our selves in the wombe and what by our outward frame of body I Shall now call thee back to look unto the Rock whence thou was hewen to the wombe whence thou was taken I shall begin with thee at the very beginning of thy being that thou maiest take a more cleare sight and consideration even there of Gods goodnesse thy Parents kindnesse thy self misery Assuredly there is no period of a mans age that yeelds him such a discerning as this point of time doth at which he first breathed in this world and so set forth to runne his race Therefore I shall reduce thee now to thy primitive originals and as it were lay thee again in the wombe whence thou Chap. 1 didst spring That in this way of reduction thou maiest take
mean if being so unlawfully knit it cannot be lawfully undone then whether our provision of laws in Church or Common-wealth are not too short for the pulling out of these cankers These be matters too high for me but I am sure of these two things which I speak very feelingly as one who knows the heart of a Parent 1. That my childe is a much more valuable commoditie then is my purse my horse or my mare A childe is a fathers earthly treasure the other are trifles in comparison and being lost may be made up again It is not so with a child if a ruffian-like-hath stolen her affections or her away and another alike person or Priest hath married them this losse is unreparable the Parent cannot recover or make it up again And what can recompence this losse A childe is stolen away she is unequally yoaked for eternitie for life I am sure The Parent now may complain sadly and that is all for help he cannot 2. This I know also That those of that sacred order for so their orders have ranked them deale herein most dishonourably and unworthily and do offer such an affront to Church and Common-wealth as in no one thing more or a greater opprobrie I think now of the Institution of Marriage how sacred that was the honour and dignitie of the same and how this Minister hath abased himself and vilified this sacred ordinance and now I commend him to the eye of the civill Magistrate and from his hand to the hand of his fellow Minister the hang-man I mean for I pray for him That he may suffer as a notorious malefactour Because he doth most notoriously abuse his office scandalize his sacred order and which is yet worse doth more hurt to the Common-wealth then hath the most notorious Rogue in Newgate I am very sensible and sure of what I say The servant before spoken of must be remembred too the Cart or Bride-well is a fit punishment for her but too easie a punishment for such an one who for a trifle will hazard the casting away her Masters jewell I have done with the pandar and his fellow Minister both 3. Sometimes I have observed that the Parents on the one side have been well pleased and contented to wink and give secret allowance to an unwarrantable proceeding the Childe they think will choose better for it self then they could have done And here I must tell also what I have seen and observed further which is That crosses have presently followed the conclusion of the match which one side gave secret allowance unto in hope of advancing their Childe either a present separation hath followed The sonne hath been posted away into some forrein Countrey else some strangenesse of affection for such love is quickly cold bird like as Clemens h 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ◠10. pag. 144. saith it cannot be fixed Some thing or other hath happened that crossed and blasted all their hopes 4. I have observed some also being at their own libertie to make their own choice not so carefull and upright this way They have carryed things in a cloud some things they have made more then were some things lesse some things they have concealed which should have been made known and some things have been presented under a colour and shew and all to compasse a poore end some wealth and repute amongst neighbours but things have proved contrary they have embraced a shadow and lost the substance They preferred a poore accessory before the principall and so have been paid with winde with counterfeit coyne instead of currant I could instance in some now widows and widowers who at this present do smart openly and in the eyes of others for their reservednesse their secret and cunning contrivance and imposture this way nor could it be otherwise for it is not Gods way we cannot expect a blessing in it What I compasse by guile and cunning doth but serve to increase my after discomfort A foundation i 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Piad Nem. od 8. layed in unrighteousnesse will be like a tottering wall at the best but like a house built upon the sands and tending to ruine And therefore this should be a warning to those who have any hand in this so weightie and fundamentall a businesse the issues whereof are so great And hence follows their rule which is this Look wherein a man expects the greatest good and his expectation is larger in no other thing then in marriage being most ancient important fundamentall to a sweet societie of life and a great number of mutuall obligations and profitable offices flowing thence therein now in a businesse of so high concernment Let a man proceed in the greatest evidence and clearenesse of dealing not swerving one jot or haires breadth from the wayes of sinceritie and truth This is the direction and I would have it evidence my minde when my tongue cannot And now childe to make application of all to thy self and way for thy better provision considering the premises That marriage is a businesse of such and so great consequence and concernment That the band is so strait that nothing can dissolve it but death or that which is to be punished with death that if there be an errour at first it is hardly recoverable afterwards considering all this I that might command thee do intreat thee by that worthy name called upon Thee and thy sacred vow then given By all the engagements of a childe such be all thy parents travell for thy good By all the comforts thou canst hereafter look for Be well advised first before thou doest proceed in this great businesse which requires such and so much deliberation Be I say well advised first By whom not by thine own heart aske not counsell there it may be and is in such cases strangely corrupted nor by thine own eare there is prejudice nor eye that is blinded nor affections they are troubled and can give no certain answer Nor by thy self for now thou art not thy self Thy judgement and reason are quite steeped in affection k Affectiones facile faciunt opiniones Yeeld thy self wholly up to those who have the oversight and charge over thee that is my charge There leave this great businesse and submit Here shew thy obedience as thou lookest to prosper All thy deportment from the yeares of understanding and onward thy gesture thy words thy actions should all at all times sweetly and child-like speake out and shew forth thy dutie to due observance of thy parents So as all that look on thee may heare and reade it in thy whole carriage and all short enough to answer thy debt But here is the principall businesse wherein they that have the charge over thee look to be observed And as thou doest observe them here so look to prosper I will read a short story here wherein we shall see a great example of a childes dutie at this point The greater the
government set up there sin breaks out and Satan breaks in without controule This is a sacred Truth not to be doubted of Beleeve me now in what follows I have known many but more there have been whom I have not known who neglecting this single charge and casting off the government of themselves have poysoned all their springs of comfort at the very head o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eurip. Her Fur. p. 46. and blasted their hopes in the very blossome and blocked up their own way to the comfort they greedily catched at but in a very shadow Nay which is more I have known them who have kindled a fire in their youth that hath consumed them in their age and some remaining coales have singed the childe not then born Know it a truth not to be doubted and so plain that it needs not explication therefore what is possible keep thy heart as a chaste Virgin unto Christ even to thy marriage day and ever Thy posteritie and the blessing upon them depends upon it And so much touching this so necessary a charge this so prime a duty The looking well to our selves our single charge Which cannot be to purpose unlesse these single persons look up constantly to God who is the chiefest Overseer Parents and others are but deputies under Him who leades us on and holds us in every good way and hath said I will not leave thee nor forsake thee * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Five negatives surely I will not verily verily I will not Heb. 13. 5. And this so great a businesse they must commend unto Him for it is a chief point of their charge with the same earnestnesse as they desire to succeed and prosper in it Our Lord Christ spent that whole night in prayer before He chose His disciples Thereby teaching us weak and frail creatures who have no subsistance of or in our selves but all from and in God what we ought to do at all times but more especially then when matters of importance are in hand It is of great importance how and in what manner matters of importance are entred upon and begun where we may note that nothing shall prove a blessing to me which I have not commended to the Lord and gained it from Him by prayer so then the young persons must look up to that hand that disposeth all things and to that hand they must submit They must leave God to His own time they must not tie Him to theirs He is wise and wonderfull and accordingly doth He work for those whose hearts are stayed upon Him I have observed those who have waited Gods time which is ever best He doth all things well and in their season so preferred in their match at the last that it hath quite exceeded their own expectation and the expectation of their friends and this at such a time when they least expected and had the least hope I have certainly observed it so They that wait on the Lord shall once say they are remembred and in a fit season But they who like an unserviceable piece of Ordinance flie off before they are discharged they who will put out themselves before their time have broken themselves with haste and proved like proffered wares of the least esteem quite disregarded They must wait on God herein whose hand leadeth into every good way and gives a blessing in it And they must wait His time also which is a chief point of their duty 3. The younger folk must leave this weighty businesse in their hands who are deputed under God to take the cure over them and the care thereof And this if the single parties shall do they have then discharged their double duty before mentioned which consisted first in the well ordering themselves and so discharging their single cure And then in leaving the rest for the changing of their condition wholly in their hands whose charge it is and whose duty also it is faithfully to discharge the same and now followeth for it is necessary I should adde something thereof I mean touching the overseers duty They that are overseers of the childe Parents or deputed so to be must be earnest with the Lord at this point for it is a main duty house and riches are the inheritance of Fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord p Prov. 19. 14. Parents may give a good portion but a good wife is Gods gift a great mercy and greatly to be desired This is their first duty The next is 2. They must choose the man we regard not sexes I say a man not a boy not a girle before the face can discern the sex parents must avoid the inconveniency of haste in so important a businesse which helps to fill the world with beggery and impotency q See Censure of Travell sect 7. And they must choose the man I say the man not his money It is well where both meet and then they may choose and wink but that is not very ordinary and therefore they must be the the more watchfull so where there is a flush of money an high-tide of prosperitie there is commonly a low ebbe of better matters which indeed denominates a man prosperitie is a great snare the greater when the young heire begins at the top first at the same peg or height where the Father ended and it is many times accompanied with some idlenesse of brain * Ad omne votum fluente fortuna lascivit ocium Quint. Dec. 3. p 32. I need not feare this but yet I say in way of caution choose the man and then the money when I say a man I mean such an one who can finde meat in a wildernesse who carries his riches about him * Cic. Parad. Sen. ep 9. 2 Chron. 25. 9. when he is stript of his money who hath his chief comelinesse within and yet not uncomely without such a man they should choose If this man be wanting the childe shall not set her eyes upon him the parent must not If some money be wanting no great want it is easily supplied it is certain if other things answer some want that way I mean in money is not of sufficient value to hold off or make a breach As it was said of the talents The Lord is able to give much more then this r But if goodnesse be wanting it is a greater want then is in a light piece of gold which in a great paiment will passe not withstanding as many great wants passe currant where there is a great portion Parents must shew their wisdome here else they fail in a prime duty They must choose goodnesse and not account it an accessary Better want the money then the man Å¿ See Chrysost of the choice of a wife Ser. 28. Tom. 5. Non sum ex insano amatorum genere qui vitia â—iam exosculantur ubi semel formâ capti sunt Haec sola est quae me delectat pulchritudo c. Calv. ep 16.
Religion t Mr Bolton direct p. 236. and the feare of God as it it is generally the foundation of all humane felicitie so must it in speciall be accounted the ground of all comfort and blisse which man and wife desire to finde in the enjoying each of other There was never any gold or great friends any beauty or outward bravery which tied truly fast and comfortably any marriage knot It is onely the golden link and noble tie of Christianitie and grace which hath the power and priviledge to make so deare a bond lovely and everlasting u Mendax est omnis secularis amicitia quae divini timoris vinculo non est ligata Chrys Hom. 24. in Matth. â—atin tantùm which can season and strengthen that nearest inseparable societie with true sweetnesse and immortalitie So farre Mr Bolton and so much touching the Over-seers duty in making the choice 3. There is another main point That they give the childe leave to approve of the choice As the Childe offers the greatest affront to Parents in giving her consent without their leave and privitie so shall Parents offer the greatest wrong to the childe that can be thought of in concluding a match without or against the childes allowance we have an old example hereof and a standing rule We will call c x Gen. 24. 57. 58. To use constraint and force here is the greatest piece of injurie that is done in the world yet so injurious have some Parents been and so they have compassed their end some estate for their childe but quite forfeited the comfort of estate and childe both The parents care was for that the childe least cares for and neglected the main the childes liking of the choice This is most injurious dealing nay more not unlike his and that was most inhumane who joyned the living to the dead y Virg. Aen. 7. Smithfield and other places have told us the sad sequells of such matches So then this is the next thing belonging to the Parents charge They will not proceed without the childes consent But it will be said as many times it falls out The Parents have made a fit choice and have asked the childes consent but cannot have it nor any reason except a womans reason why it refuseth And indeed so it may well be for the elder sort cannot alwayes give reason of what they like or dislike and when they can their reason is unreasonable in such cases no better then folly a See first part chap. 4. 13. 4. p 55. much lesse sometimes can the younger And if so then the childe must be drawn on by all faire meanes and the plainest Arguments such as true wisdome and discretion can suggest whereby to win upon it and sweetly to incline the will And if after some time of tryall they cannot by such faire means prevail then the worlâ— is wide enough they must make another choice they must not use force oh by no means I think now of the sad and heavy consequences herefrom So long as my childe hath a principle of life to carry her to Church let her not be borne thither as upon others shoulders for she matches for her self principally and for her life let it be with her full consent 4. It is proper to the parents charge and it is a point of their wisdome also to be watchfull herein that the parties have as little sight one of the other as well may be till there be some likelihood of proceeding And then but sparingly too till the match be made up There are two things necessary in all matters of weight That we have Argus his eyes and Braiareus his hands b Prima actionum Argo committtenda sunt extrema Briareo De Aug. 6. 41. p. 201. That is that we walk leisurely and circumspectly looking with all our eyes and deliberating with all our counsels before we determine and when so we have done then to dispatch speedily Young folk are good at the latter they will conclude quickly they are quick at dispatch but in point of foresight they are no body They spell the rule backward they dispatch first and deliberate afterwards which causeth so much trouble in the house and sorrow in the world They think not what they do they do to eternitie Parents must balast them here for they are like a ship without it Parents must foresee and forecast with all their eyes and more if they had them before young folk go to farre in this businesse Let this objection be nothing I must eat good store of salt with him or her first whom I would make my friend afterwards There is some use in it but not here betwixt young parties If their affections meet for the present they examine not what may cause a disagreement hereafter Let the parents look to that and judge of their dispositions they may do it and they ought the younger parties cannot their judgement is steeped in affection as was said they have little discerning further then as may fit the present but one or both can so intangle themselves and very quickly that if the match should break the weaker breaks with it and carrieth the trouble of it to the grave I have observed it so also and I tell no more but mine own observations all along Let them have as little familiaritie one with another as possibly may be till the match be made up and then as befitteth Christian modestie 5. And now I suppose the match treated upon proceeded in and concluded in such a way as is most agreeable to Gods will and word for in so doing we may expect a blessing There is but one thing remains as a close to that great businesse The solemnizing thereof according to the same rule And here we require the parents care and circumspection at no point or circumstance more wanting yet at no time more needfull for it is the last and chief point of their duty and evidenceth what their sinceritie hath been in all they did before touching their proceeding in and concluding the match They must remember now and consider with all consideration That they are on this solemne day laying the foundation of a new house or familie now we know what care we take in laying the foundation They are now so joyning two that they make two one and this they can do by joyning hands but there is but One and He onely that can joyn hearts and keep them joyned That marries them to Himself and each to other making them that day and all their dayes of one heart in one house This is a great work and peculiar to Him who is one God blessed for ever Therefore a main point of circumspection it is that they do nothing this day whereby to offend His eyes who gave them their childe all that is lovely and comfortable in their childe all the good they have or can expect Who makes a Vnitie and keeps a Vnitie in the bond of
place then in example Therefore what is done a misse in thehouse will returne upon the man as most blame-worthy My conscience makes me feare that the lightnesse of my family shall be laid upon my charge for lacke of more earnest and diligent instruction which should have been done said Bishop Ridly to Master West Woe and woe againe if we by our examples should make others to stumble at the Truth So Iohn Bradford to Iohn Carelesse z Martyr pag. 1569. Pag. 1494. It is a tradition that Matthias the Apostle was used to say If a goodmans neighbour did fall into any great sinne the goodman was to be blamed for if that goodmans life had been sutable to his Rule the Word of God then had his example according to rule so awed that neighbor that he had not so falne said Clemens of Alexandria a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Strom. l. 7. pag. 541. Much more may the same be said touching the husband and the wife the father and the child the master and the servant if any thing be amisse if things goe not straight in the family it is very likely the husband the father the master walke not according to rule but some crosse or crooked way for he is the head the leading hand The starres are eclipsed oftner then the greater lights but their eclipse we observe not but if the Sunne or Moone are eclipsed our eyes are upon them for the one rules the day the other the night Inferiors faile often in their duty but the observation is what their Superiours what their Governours doe They are in their little house as the Sunne and Moone are in the great world The little great Rulers therein Therefore it requires our Marke That it was the Man for whose faithfulnesse the Lord did undertake I know that Abraham will command his children and his household c. b Gen. 18. 19. Command marke that Command not so much by his Word though that was a command too but by example That hath more force in it more of that we call compulson Abraham will command And it was the Man that promised for himself I and my house will serve the Lord Ioshua last 15. It was the man and a man after Gods own heart that said I will walk within my house with a perfect heart Psal 101. And much reformation must follow for the removing of the wicked from his seat and sight and for the encouragement of the godly as it is plain in that place And which is more this was a great house a kingdome It was a man and one under authoritie though he had souldiers under him and they are none of the tamest creatures who did say to this man go and he went and to another come and he came and to his servant do this and he did it And to put the lowest last for indeed he was much below a Christian but quite shames him it was an old man and a darkman That had foure sonnes stout young men five daughters many servants a great retinue over all this man carried himself with such authoritie with such a Lord like command but so well tempered as his servants feared him his children reverenced him all honoured and loved him In the house you might see saith the author c Cic. de Senec. the old paternall authoritie and discipline revive again All these examples charge the man still and good reason that he should be accountable being principall and the head of the family the chiefest pillar in it that holds up all And though the wife be as she should be more faithfull in her place then Bibulus in his office yet the husband carryeth the chiefe name of all being the more worthy person and Lord in the house And the wife is well content with it she counted the husbands honour here and so it is And being alwayes as the Moon is sometimes with the Sun in a full aspect with her husband then she casteth the greatest lustre then she is most bright Similies must not be strained too farre Wives must not shine then the brightest when Angariari Parabolam the husband is farthest off though then also though not her clothes yet her vertues may shine the clearer for then her wisdome in governing and commanding doth fully appeare when the husband is farre off And her husband is knowne thereby Hee sitteth among the Elders and her owne workes shall praise her in the gates A good wife is still in full aspect with her husband Certainly it is the comeliest sight in the world To see man and wife going in all things as Peter and Iohn went to the Temple together d Act 3 1. it was spoken of before e Epist to the first part where there are cloven hearts and divided tongues there is no edifying in that house but a Babell of confusion rather But now suppose the case as it is too ordinary that the man is the weaker vessell the head goeth the contrary way it is so surcharged or the heart is so like a stone suppose the case so that the head is so distempered and Nabal-like that it cannot leade the way how then This is a crosse in the way and a great one but it must be taken up and borne and the wife must as was said f Pag. 104. speake good of it we must not chuse every day If the choice is made and the two are yoaked they must draw as well as they can and be content They must use all the skill they have to fit the yoak to their Neck else it will prove an yron-yoake Before I have chosen I may fit my choice to my mind when I have chosen I must fit my mind to my choice before things might have beene otherwise now they cannot I must not now goe Crosse to my Crosse for that is to make it a double Crosse Patience and meeknesse in bearing and forbearing g Prov. 25. 12. and 15. very notable wins much upon a contrary disposition and at length may overcome it but if not and the labour be lost yet as saith the h Chrysost Tom. 5. de Laz con 1. Greeke Father applying it to Ministers waiting when God will give repentance the reward will not be lost no nor the labour neither for if the wife cannot better her husband yet she will make her selfe the better as the old saying is i Mariti vitium aut tollendum aut serendum quae tollit maritum commodâ—orem praestat quae fert sâ—se meliorem sacit Aul. Gell. lib. chap. 17. and it concernes the wife as well as the husband But how bad soever the husband be his badnesse shall not beare her out nor have her excused for the neglect of her proper duties and walking with God in his wayes nothing shall plead her excuse for any neglect therein We are apt to quarrell with our blessings much more with our crosses and with that calling that God hath set