like Treatises This Author hath more punctually and pertinently handled all kinde of duties from ones first entrance into this world to his going out thereof then any of the fore-named Authors or any other that have written of the like subject Such varietie of matter is here couched as it will prove usefull to all of all sorts that will reade and heed it The Lord give a blessing to this and all other like labours of his faithfull servants Amen William Gouge THE CONTENTS OF THE BOOK CHAP. I. WHat the Parents dutie when it begins Gods gracious work upon the Childe framing it in the wombe and giving it its due proportion of parts what thanks therefore pag. 1. 2. How Sinne defaceth Gods Image How repaired Of Baptisme and the solemnitie thereof The Mother the Nurse to pag. 4. The Mother is most imployed about the head of the Childe my head my head saith the Childe carry him to the Mother saith the Father 2 Kings 4. 19. The Mother is charged with the head Father and Mother both with the heart and this work is for the closset pag. 4. What Infancy is called an Innocent Age but miscalled Something may be done even then for the rectifying the Childes body and his heart too Grave considerations pressing to that Dutie from pag. 5. to pag. 9. CHAP. II. CHild-hood and youth how they differ whereâ—â— they agree unhappy Ages both The period of this Age not easily defined The Parent makes it longer or shorter as their care is more or lesse pag. 10. Parents not discharged in point of care when they have charged the Schoole with their childe how vain that thought pag. 12. How preposterous the Parents care How much Father and Mother both do crosse their own ends What a point of wisdome it is well to Time our beginnings When the Seed-Time what their imployment there to pag. 15. CHAP. III. A Two-fold imployment which lyeth in the order of Nature and right reason Lets hindring this twofold dutie two fondnesse fiercenesse extreames yet ordinarily in one and the same Parent I. Of fondnesse what causeth it Youth more profitable Child-hood 〈◊〉 delightfull * Fructuosior est adolescentia liberâ—rum sed Infantia dulcior Sen. epist 9. What hurt fondnesse doth The Divels â—â—â—â—theâ—ing engine to pag. 18. Foure mightie 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to fortifie us against it from pag. 19. to pag. 2◠〈◊〉 â—xamples evidencing how destroying it is to pag â—â— Repeated concluded in Mr. Bâ—ltoâ—s words with some use of the whole to all Parents to page 26. II. Fiercenesse whose fruit it is and how much it hinders to pag. 27. It helps not to unroot evill but rather roots it more in to pag. 29. It hinders much the Implanting of good to pag. 30. Considerations which may help to calme a Parent when in heat of spirit he is about to unroot evill are three very worth his consideration to pag. 33. Considerations which may arrest a Parents hand when he is about the implanting of good are foure which being considered will command an answerable practise to pag. 35. CHAP. IIII. OVr nature like a soyle fruitfull of weeds what they are and how unrooted 1. Pride the heart-string of corruption Chrysostomes note upon it how cherished how the contrary grace may and ought to be instilled to pag. 38. 2. Frowardnesse a spice of the former The Parents dutie here how the contrary grace may be inforced to pag. 40. 3. The way of lying and the way the Parent must take to prevent the course of it a great work if it may be done if not the Childe is fit for no societie to pag. 41. 4. Idlenesse how corrupting and provoking Labour how naturall to a man how he is provoked thereunto to pag. 43. 5. A bad Maligâ—us comeâ— quamvâ—s candâ—do simplici râ—biginem suam suam affricuit Sen. epist 7. companion how infectious and corrupting he will defile the best and most candid nature with his foule example pag. 44. 6. The evill of the Tongue prevented by teaching the Childe silence and this the Parent must teach himself and his Childe under five notions The briefe of that which concernes the Childes Instruction is while it is a Childe let its words be answers Nature teacheth much at this point and they more who walked by an higher light pag. 47. 7. An oath a word cloathed with death in a Childes mouth the Parent as in all so here very exemplary yea yea nay nay The Friers note upon those words No more must be heard from a Childe pag. 48. 8. The Childe must be taught what weight there is in those words yea yea c. A good hint there-from to teach the Childe to abhorre that religion which gives no weight to words nor oathes neither pag. 51. 9 10 11 12. Nick-names and abuses that way are ordinary with Children and a fruit of corrupt nature so quarrelling uncovering their nakednesse mocking scorning the meaner sort Great evills to be corrected and prevented in Children betimes a notable example to presse us thereunto to use our Inferiours kindely to pag. 53. 13. Cursing a great evill so imprecations against our selves Foure great examples full of instructions who spake rashly and were payed home in that they spake to pag. 57. 14. As Childrens Tongues must be watched over for the Tongue is a world of wickednesse so must their hands They will spill more then they eate how to teach Children to prize the good creatures pag. 59. 15. Children delight in the pain and vexation of those weake creatures that are in their power A great evill to be looked unto and prevented betimes considering our natures what they are page 61. 16. Nature fruitfull of evills more then can be pointed at or prevented but that is the true and genuine order of nature to prevent the evills thereof first pag. 62. 17. Teaching by examples the best way of teaching and the shortest they make the deepest impression pag. 64. CHAP. V. THe implanting of good the order therein The foure seasons in the day seasonable therefore 1. How uncomfortable darknesse is how comfortable the light A notable lesson there-from wherein our light and the true light differ to pag. 67. The Sun knoweth his appointed Time what that teacheth The Sun is glorious in his rising and refresheth how that instructeth pag. 68. Sin and sorrow will sowre the sweetest earthly Blessings where the root of our comfort pag. 69. The Sun a publique servant teacheth man so to be even to serve his brother in Love and to shew to him the kindnesse of the Lord what the Idol of the world what makes man an abomination from pag. 69. to pag. 71. The Morning the first fruits of the day our season what a Mercy to have it but a greater to take it what our first work and with whom what our engagements to set about it what may be instilled by continuall dropping from pag. 71. to pag. 77. CHAP. VI. VVE eat bread at Noon What that implieth
OF THE CHILDS PORTION viz GOOD EDUCATION By E. W. OR The Book of the Education of Youth that hath for some yeers lain in obscurity but is now brought to light for the help of Parents and Tutors to whom it is recommended BY Will Goudge D. D. Edm Calamy John Goodwin Joseph Caryll Jer Burroughs William Greenhill Psal 34. 11. Deut. 12. 28. Come ye children hearken unto me I will teach you the fear of the Lord that it may go well with you and with your children after you for ever when thou dost that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord thy God Chrysost As our Seminaries or seed-plots are such are the Land and Nation As the Parents house and school are such are the Town and City Printed at LONDON and are to be sold by Tho Vnderhill at the signe of the Bible in Woodstreet 1649. VVEE whose names are under-written well acquainted with the scope and purpose of this Book Tending to an orderly proceeding in a well-Timed Reformation of our selves first and our children betimes do give our attestation thereunto heartily and in all faithfulnesse Edm Calamy John Goodwin Joseph Caryll Jer Burroughes Will Greenehill THE PREFACE SHEWING the necessitie and worth of a vertuous education and may serve as an introduction to Dutie OUr great Advancer of Learning noteth an opinion of Aristotle which is this a Lib. 7. p. 375. In English Book 2. p. 263. That of those things which consist by nature nothing can be changed by custome using for example That if a stone be thrown up tenne thousand-times it will not learne to ascend and that by often seeing and hearing we doe not see or heare the better That Noble Scholler noted this for a negligent opinion so he cals it I know not why because the Philosopher doth instance in Peremptory nature and he took pains to informe us touching the same It is true saith he In things wherein nature is Peremptory Man cannot make massie bodies to hang in the Aire like Meteors he cannot make an Oxe to flye That which is crooked saith the wise man b Eccles 1. 15. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 man cannot make straight There is a Peremptory bent of nature which man cannot turne no more then he can turne back a Spring-tide or a Rushing winde This is a worke for Him and peculiar to Him Who turned Iâ—rdan back Who made the Iron Swimme Makes the Clouds those massie bodies to hang in the Aire as if they had no weight Who makes Mountaines Vallies and rough things even Raiseth children of stones stony hearts and made dry Bones live And the Parents worke in this case is to sit still I meane not any slacking of their endeavour that is to goe into his closet and spread this Peremptory bent of nature he sees in his Childe or not subdued in himselfe as the King the Letter before the Lord c â— King 19. 14. and to say it is Luthers Counsell d Poenitendum mihi praecipis sed talis sum ego miser quod sentio me nolle â—eque posse quare tuis prostratus pedibus c. Concio de poentent Anno Dom. 1518. Here is an Heart that cannot turn that will not turne turne it Lord it is Thy Worke Thine onely Turne it as Thou didst the Rivers in the South Thus where Nature is Peremptory and what we are to do in that case Nothing but look up to Him Who caused the Sunne to goe back and so the shadow in the Diall But it is otherwise in things wherein nature admitteth a latitude for we may see that a straight glove will come more easily on with use And that a wand will by use bend otherwise then it grew and by use of the voice we speak lowder and stronger and that by use of induring heate and cold we indure it the better e See a Treatise of Vse and Custome p. 26. and 39. and 69. And here in the God of Nature Who onely can change Nature and supply what man cast away and is wanting would have Man active and stirring and admits him as a fellow-worker with Himselfe By this I would gaine but thus much That I might evince the necessitie of a vertuous education and inhance the worth of the same I meane that we might set a price upon it and no ordinary one neither It were an easie taske here to enter into a common place and to give a Laudative hereof which would fill the margent and the lines Sufficeth it to know first f Reade Hist of the World first Book 4. Chap. Sect. 11. p. 14. Quint. de claris Oraâ— Isocrat Areopag 217. in sol That Nothing after Gods reserved power doth so much set things in or out of Square and Rule as education doth Secondly That we have no other means to recover our sickly and crasie nature I know my words are too short but I mean not in things that are high concerning God for in them she is not sick but dead no other meanes to pull it out of the Rubbish of Adams and of our own Ruins and to smooth over the face of it againe beautifying the same and making it comely no other means I say left us then to apply the Georgicks g p. 236. of the minde as that Noble Scholler Phraseth it he means the husbandry and Tillage thereof The effects we see in the husbanding our grounds and they are great and admirable The good Tillage of the minde produceth as great effects and concerneth man more as he thinks himselfe of more worth then a clod of earth It hath such a forcible operation as hardly any length of time or contention of labour can countervaile it afterwards we remember the old saying the truth whereof is more ancient then is the verse Ingenuas didicisse fideliter artes c. This Culture and manurance of the minde taketh away the wildnesse and barbarisme and fiercenesse of mens mindes it subdueth savage and unreclaimed desires But then as the great Scholler noteth also The accent had need be upon fideliter h p 82 that is The Culture and manurance of the minde must not be superficiall We deale not so with our ground but it must be laboured in faithfully heartily coÌ„tinually so the husbandman doth in his ground it findes him work all the yeer long And he doth his work throughly he doth not plant here a spot and there a plat of ground but he tils the ground all over that what he can and as the nature of the ground is capable he may make all fruitfull And so we must intend this businesse as we would that thing which concerns the Parent and the Childe more then anything in the world besides yea more then a World is worth Being confident of this That all things by labour and industry may be made better then Nature produced them And that God so ordained it That the industry of man should concurre in all things with
Childe who could not for the lownesse of Parts be framed to doe much good service will frame it selfe to doe none at all but the contrary much hurt as we see in experience Suppose then for so we may that a Childe be framed by nature and for Parts but to drive the Cart or hold the Plough p Natura servus ad slivam natus why yet if he be fit for either of these two imployments Servill we call them before he had strength for that labour in that emptie space of Time before for so the Parent makes it which lyeth betwixt 6. yeers and 13. which runs forth like water whereof is no use to waste the Childe might have been fitted by good culture and Tillage to have known the nature of the worke he should afterwards be set about which yeelds many excellent instructions no profession more then Husbandry doth this working in the Earth It is an ancient it was an honourable q Plin nat Hist lib. 18. 3. Dr. Hack. Apol. B. 3. sect 3. profession also though now Cooks are in more esteeme r 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Clem. Alex. poed 2. 1 p. 106. and the Lord condescended to the capacitie of none more then to the capacitie of the Husbandmen which sets much upon their score But for want not of nature or parts but of this culture Å¿ Manifestum est non naturam sed curam deâ—ecisse Qâ—int 1. 1. of the minde which should fill up the empty space of time before mentioned and the minde too your Husbandmen many or the most of them understand no more concerning the lessons which the holding of the Plough the tearing up of the ground the casting in of the seed the dying in the earth the growing of the same the cutting the gathering the housing and threshing thereof no more doe they understand of all these things or of the lessons there-from then their Oxe or Horse doth whom they follow And all this for want of this culture of the minde the season being neglected because the Childe was designed for the field For my part had I a Childe to designe thither to the Plough I meane or to the Sea or to some lesse stirring trade in all these cases or courses of life learning is neglected as a thing of no use I should as faithfully for it were my duty bestow upon him the culture and manurance of his minde first and as readily I should doe it and I should thinke to very good ends as another Parent would doe that had designed his to the Colledge The purpose then I tend unto and that I would conclude from hence is but this What ever is wanting to the Childe Let not education or instruction be Wanting t 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Clem. Alex. sho 1. p. 209. Children who have beene no way apt by Nature have beene made Apt by education And they who have been very Apt by Nature to good have proved very bad by neglect and carelesnes Translated out of the same Author the following page 210. Fill up this emptie space which commonly Parents make so with some seasonable instructions And the more unfit and unapt the Child is the more the Parents care and paines must be Nor must the Parent be hartlesse in the businesse but as the Husbandman their work is like sometime they meete with hard and stony places which by good culture they make fruitfull he must labour in hope And how unserviceable soever the Childe seeme to be yet He that had need of an Asse can make use of him whereto though the Parent cannot designe him yet his Lord can I remember that Noble Schollar Morneus tels us That his Maide would sweepe out of his study and into the Dust-basket such little pieces as he could make very good use of and could not spare so by his appointment in She brought them againe wherein he taught both the Maide and us not to despise Small things there may be for ought we know a blessing in them nor neglect the poorest weakest creatures What know we what the Great God intends them for Let the Parent doe his Duty He shall finde great satisfaction therein in giving his utmost care and paines A Pilot saith Quintil. hath a satisfying plea though his ship miscarry that he was watchfull at the Sterne and imployed his best care and skill there If Parts be wanting and Grace too a Commoditie the Parent cannot stow in the Childe yet he must be lading it as he can yet the Parent hath this comfort in case of miscarriage That he he hath steered his course according to the Rules of Right Reason and by the Compasse of Gods Word In case of defects and wants in the Childe we must learne submission to Him that made it so We must not strive with our Maker Let the Potsheard strive with the Potsheards of the earth What weaknesse or imperfection there is we must think it good because the Lord sees it best As we must not question His power no not in a wildernesse so not His worke because if it be deformed sinne hath done it The work must not say to the workman why hast thou made me so God made us well we unmade our selves Sinne causeth this double decay of Gods Image on us We may note this with it That a good man may have a bad house yet the man never the worse And a good wit and a good minde both though it is none of the best signes Natura â—ibi peccat in â—no perichâ—atur in 〈◊〉 may have a bad dwelling And if so we must comfort our selves in this That God can supply the want of eyes hands feet He can give some inward speciall gift which will countervaile that want what ever it be The want of the outward eye shall intend the minde perhaps further the inward and more noble light and so in the rest It may be also if those had beene open they had been guides to much evill and the hands as active that way and the feete as swift which now are maimed or imperfect And as we must learne to submit unto Him not questioning His worke so also to depend upon Him not questioning His power no not in a wildernesse An happy weaknesse as before was said that puts us off from our owne bottome and rooteth us on God Who can provide there and then when man is at a stand The lesse likelyhood in the creature the greater should be the creatures trust The Lord many times crosseth the streame and course of meanes to shew his own Soveraignty and to exercise our dependance He setteth aside more likely and able meanes and blesseth weake meanes to great purpose Things or instruments by which God will worke may have very meane appearance as worthlesse they may be in shew as a dry y Exod. 7. 17. stick an Oxes z Judg. 15 16. goad or the jaw-bone a Judg. 3. 31. of an Asse yet of
It may soone learne some evill and that evill may grow past helping quickly Looke to the eye and eare all goes indifferently in as well as at the Mouth and you shall smell the Caske presently just what the liquor was Keep the inward and hid-man as you should do the outward neat and free from contagion and corruption as young as it is it may receive a bad tincture and that entreth easily now which will not depart without difficultie 5. I have heard a childe sweare before he could creepe Qui jâ—â— câ—m 〈◊〉 quid no◠〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Quin. Aug. Conâ—es lib. cap. 7. hereupon the heathen man hath asked what will such an one do when it is grown up I have seene a childe threaten yet it could not strike and scratch before it could hurt and pale with anger it was Augustines observation because another did partake of its milke And this corruption which so soone will shew it self is strangely furthered by a foolish practise Give me a blow childe and I will beat what hath offended This teacheth revenge betime that daring and presumptuous sinne for it disthrones God and puts the law out of office I say that practise leades unto it as we might easily observe if we would observe any thing Many thinke that the Time is not yet it is yet too soone to be so watchfull over the childe But by this neglect and putting off we suffer matter of trouble to be prepared We neglect not a sparke because it is little but we consider how high it flies and how apt things about it are to take fire There is no Lord Verul Essayes 21. 125. greater wisedome said that great Scholler then well to Time the Beginnings and on-sets of things Dangers are no more light if they once seeme light Our dutie is to looke to small things they leade to great Is custome no small matter said one who was short of a Christian Shorten the childe in its desires now specially if it be hasty and cry and will have it Then say some the childe must have it say I no but now it should not Shorten it here and the rather because it cryes if he have it give him it when it is still and quiet Correction rather when it cryes Let it not have its will by froward meanes Let it learne and finde that they are unprofitable and bootlesse A childe is all for the present but a Parents wisedome is to teach it to waite Much depends on it thereby a Parent may prevent eagernesse and shortnesse of spirit which else will grow up with the childe and prove a dangerous and tormenting evill We shall helpe this hereafter and soone enough say some Let the childe have its will now it is but a childe And be it so but that is the way to have a childe of it as long as it liveth As Sr. Thomas More said to his Lady after his manner wittily but truely They might as well say they will bend the childe hereafter when it is as stiffe as a stake though they neglect it at the present when it is as tender as a Sprig I will tell my observation I have knowne some children who might not be shortned least it should shorten their growth what they would have they should have for they were but children these have lived to shorten their Parents dayes and their own and to fill all with sorrow for afterwards they would not be shortned because they were not while they might a Siquid moves à principio move Hip. Hippocrates hath a good lesson and of good use here If thou wouldst remove an evill do it at the beginning As the spring of nature I meane saith the * Considerations touching the Church Lord Ver. applying it to the rectifying the politick body the spring of the yeere is the best time for purging and medicining naturall bodies so is the first spring of Child-hood the most proper season for the purging and rectifying our Children To come then to the maine instruction I intend here which is this As we observe Adams ruines appearing betimes in the childe so must we be as timely in the building against these ruines and repairing thereof It is a great point of wisedome as was said well to time our beginnings And this a parent will do if he shew but the same care about his childe as he doth about his house or ground if he observeth the least swelling or cracke in his wall or breach in his fence about his ground he is speedy and quicke in repaire thereof for it gaines him time and saves him a great deale of cost and labour both That may be done with a penny to day that will not hereafter with an hundred pound And that now mended in a day which will not hereafter in a yeere And that in a yeere which will not be done in our time So King IAMES so famous for his sayings pressed the speedy repaire of breaches in high-wayes We cannot borrow a speech that is more full I meane we cannot take a metaphor that is fitter to presse home this dutie it is low and descendeth to the lowest capacitie and teacheth the Parent to be quicke and expedite in repairing the ruines of old Adam in his young Childe for though it seemes as a frame but newly reared yet unlike other buildings it presently falls to decay and if our eyes and hands be as present to repaire the decayes thereof which is our dutie it would save us much time cost and labour Faults may be as easily corrected at the first as a twig may be bent but if they grow as the body doth they will be tough and stiffe as the body is they will knit and incorporate as the bones do and what is bred in the bone will not easily out See Cameâ—ar chap. 16. of the flesh as that sturdy beggar said A neglect toward the child now tends to such a desolation hereafter as the Prophet speaketh of Thy breach is great like the Sea who Lam. 2. 23. canheale thee There is nothing works more mischiefe and sorrow to a man I give my pen the more scope here because parents give and take so much libertie then doth that which he mindeth least to prevent and that is the beginnings and first growth of evill There are little Motions thereof at the first but they grow as Rivers do greater and greater the further off from the spring The first risings are the more to be looked unto because there is most danger in them and we have least care over them though yet they will quickly over-cast the soule Therefore that we do at the beginning Dimidium â—acti qui bâ—ne coepâ—t â—abet is more then halfe we do afterwards saith the Poet and he speaks not without great reason so forcible continually is the beginning and so connexed to the sequel by the nature of a precedent cause The Bishop hath a good meditation upon the sight of a bladder
will soone be most severe and violent in their correction as if they had that absolute and universall power over their children which once the Parent had and much power yet they have all the craft is in the wise using of it But they doe not use it well now in their passion they will miscall the childe strangely and strike they know not where and kick too I set down what mine own eyes and eares have told me They do punish perhaps not Laudabaâ— se non sine causa sed fine modo without cause as was said of one in another case but without all measure as if they were not children but slaves And then as was said in the other extreame we may reade without booke that no good can be done but much hurt rather while the Parent is so eager upon the childe it is not then teachable not counsellable for as was said feare betrayeth all its succours nor is the Parent in a fit case to teach or counsell it for what can be expected from a man in a frensie Anger is fitly called so A Parent carryed in a passion cannot mingle his corrections with instructions and where that mixture is not there is no Discipline for that is true Discipline when the childe smarts from the hand and Siâ— ul sunt â—aec duo conjungeÌ„da Argutio castigatio Inutilis est castigatio ubi verba silent verbera saeviunt unde rectè vocatur castigatio Disciplina quâ delinquens unâ— dolet discit Bright on the Revelat. chap. 3. vers 19. p. 72. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Not possible to put out fire with fire Chrysost in Gen. 32. hom 89. learnes from the tongue We must first convince a childe of his fault and then punish the same if the fault deserve it These two must ever goe together correction and instruction Correction is to no purpose where words are silent and stripes outragious Correction is truly called Discipline because the dilinquent smarts and learnes both together This then is my conclusion wherein I shall a little enlarge my selfe That roughnesse and fiercenesse doth not help in the rooting out of evill though there it doth best but much hurt it doth in the planting in of good there it lets exceedingly It furthers not in the unrooting of evill but rather sets the work back and roots it more in That is the first thing I shall make cleare 1. Man is a noble creature and lord-like of a good house as we say though falne into decay But this remainder or relique there is yet of his noblenesse you may easily lead him when you cannot drag him you may perswade when you cannot force and the more force the lesse good Mildnesse and Meeknesse and sweetnesse in carriage wins much 1. Voluntas cogi non vult doceri expeâ—it A soft tongue breaketh the bone Prov. 25. vers 12. 15. to be observed both even sometimes with a crooked disposition when as roughnesse hardneth It is not the way to plucke down a stubborn heart nor to fetch out a lye though in these cases a Parent must be very active and if he spares his childe he kills it It is a great fault in parents saith one for fear of taking down of the childs spirits not to take down its pride and get victory over its affections whereas a proud unbroken heart raiseth us more trouble then all the world beside And if it be not taken down betimes it will be broken to pieces by great troubles in age I shall consider this evill and some others in fit place now in this place I am removing that which hindreth The parent is bound to teach the childe how to bear the Lam. 3. 27. yoke from its youth This duty the parent is engaged upon But the parent must use a great deale of discretion in the putting on this yoke The parent must not stand in a menaâ—ing posture before the childe as ready to strike as to speak and giving discouraging words too When we would back our Colt or break a skittish Heifer to the yoke the comparison holds well we do not hold the yoke in one hand and a whip in the other but we do before them as we know the manner is else there would be much ado in putting on the yoke and in breaking or backing the Colt they would be both more wilde and lesse serviceable It is much so with children if our carriage be not ordered with discretion before them we may make them like those beasts more unruly and perhaps all alike or if they learn any thing by such froward handling it will be frowardnesse When we would work upon a childe our carriage before it should be quiet and as still as might be just in the same posture that a man stands in before the live mark which he would hit he doth not hoot and hollow when he takes his ayme for then he would fright away the game by his rudenesse but so he stands as we well know the manner like one who means to hit the mark Our ayme is the good of the childe we must look well to our deportment before it else we may fright away our game There are some natures saith Clem. Alex. like yron hardly flexible but by the Pad li. 2. c. 10. pag. 97 fire hammer and anvill that is as he expounds it by reproofs threats blows and all this may be done and must if done well in termes of mildnesse and pleasing accent with force of reason rather then hardnesse of blows and if it might be in the spirit of meeknesse remembring still Mr. Tindals Letter Martyr pa. 987. words As lowlinesse of heart shall make you high with God even so meeknesse of words shall make you sink into the hearts of men I have observed a childe more insolent and stout under a rigorous and rough hand but calmed after the heat was over on both sides with a milde gentle perswasion that workt force and violence hardens when as a loving and gentle perswasion wins upon the heart thaws and melts the same Harshnesse loseth the heart and alienates the affections 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Hom. 26. in 1. Cor. 11. but mildnesse gaineth all Proud flesh as experience tells us is taken down by lenitives the most gentle and soft applications So the pride and roughnesse of our nature is subdued by lenitives and not by another roughnesse as the Father speaketh elegantly We may note too the more rigour the childe apprehends and the more the rod is threatned which is the onely thing a childe feares the more the childe will hide it self like that unwise man who standing at the entry of an unlawfull but too much frequented place and finding himself eyed by a friend whom he would not should see him there shrunk in his head and in he went If a man had â— Non sum adeò aetatum imprudens ut instandam teneris protinus acerbè
putem c. Quint. lastit l 2. cap. 1. no more wit what expect we from a childe He was ashamed to be seen at the doore he helpt himself well to go within the doores then as his friend said he was within indeed and the further he was so much the more within so a childe will do he will hide himself in the thicket at least he thinks so further and further if he apprehend much rigour there is much wisedome to be used here and mercy also and great reason there is to incline us to both as we shall hear in due place For the present that which hath been said may assure us that fiercenesse helps not in the unrooting of evill it hinders much the implanting of good There it hurts very much which is the second 2. If ever mildnesse gentlenesse calmnesse and sweetnesse of carriage do good and do become then more especially when we would winne upon the affection and sink into the understanding when we would lodge some precepts in the minde draw the heart and set it right Now while we are instructing handle the childe freely and liberally in a sweet and milde way speak kindly to it we must now and then we may have its heart for ever if we be rough and harsh now we fright away our game The instruction which we inforce into the minde by a kinde of violence will not long continue there but what is insinuated and fairly induced with delight and pleasure will stick in the mind the longer Trem. Preface before Iob. If Moses be to instruct he is commanded to speak not to smite and it teacheth us That a sweet compellation and carriage wins much upon the heart but we suppose we are dealing with children It is a mad behaviour and no better to suffer the hand to move as fast as the tongue and to strike at the head too the seat of understanding The head is to our little world as man is to the great world the verie abridgement or epitome of a man spare the head of any place else you may drive out that little which is and stop the entrance for coming in of more The Lord make all teachers understand this truth and pardon our failings herein and the Lord teach parents also whose duty more peculiarly we are upon to correct and instruct their children in all meeknesse That we may all learn I will set down some considerations which may calm the parent and take off from his hastinesse when he would unroot evill a great enemy to that good he ows and doth really intend the childe 3. I suppose now such a parent who hath beene fierce and eager upon the childe striking flinging kicking it as the usuall manner is because of its stomack towards the parent which he will pluck down and because it stands in a lie which he is resolved to fetch on t such a Parent I suppose for such there are and this I would have him consider it may make him wiser against the next time First †1. Who is that upon whom he hath bestowed so many hard blows both from hand and foot too I tell but my own observation who is it he hath used so disgracefully with such contumelious words It is no other then the image and glory of God A strong consideration to cause the 1. Cor. 11. 7. parent to carry himself comely and reverently before the childe which he may do and yet make the childe both to know and keep its distance else it cannot know its dutie A Parent cannot conceive the childs condition to be more Maxima debetur pueris Reverentia Iuv. Major è longinquo Reverentia Tacit. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. de prosper Adver Hom 5. â— deplorable then was the Rich-mans in the Parable yet saith Chrysost and he makes it very useful Abraham called him Sonne a compellation still befitting a Father so also words and actions well becoming that sweet name a Jud. 9. α. and most likely to winne upon and to convince the childe whereas bitter and vilifying words become not though we did contend with the Devill a Jud. 9. α. Kinde words make rough actions plausible The bitternesse of reprehension is answered with the pleasingnesse of compellations Sonne let that be the name for so he is though never so bad And as a childe hath no greater argument to prevail with a Father then by that very name of love so nor hath a parent any stronger argument whereby to prevail with his childe then by that very name of dutie whether we respect his Father on earth whose childe he is or in heaven whose image and impresse he beares though now much defaced This is the first †2. And it is his own image too that 's the second consideration his very picture even that childe whom in the rage and rore of his anger he hath thrown and battered so He is a mad man that will kick and throw about his picture specially if the picture doth fully and lively shew forth his proportion This childe is the parents picture right and never so fully the parents image as now that it is in a stubborn fit It is a certain truth a parent never sees his own revolting and stubborn heart more expressed to the life then he may do in a stubborn childe then he may see it as plainly as face in water answers face this is a weighty consideration if it be put home A Parent must consider whence had the childe this who put this in which the parent would now in all haste fetch out Sinfull peremptory nature runnes in a bloud it is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1. Pet. 1. 18. by tradition the childe received it of the father This the Parent must not forget and then his carriage will not be such as may lose the childes heart and alienate his affections such an effect harshnesse and roughnesse may work it may make the childe think that the parent hates his own flesh a In â—mendando nâ— acerbus c. quidam sic objurgant quasi oderint Quint. 2. 2. 3. Is the childe thus stiffe and stubborn thus confirmed in evill Doth it stand against all the parents knocks and threats like a rock immoveable Consider then he must whence was that Rock he wen The parent is the quarry or pit whence it was taken and whence it contracted this Tanquam dura siiâ—x aut stet Vâ—g rockinesse It cannot be too often considered but it was the former consideration the parent must consider this here and it sufficeth to calme and quiet him to take off from his eagernesse that the time was when the childe was not so stiffe and so though it was tâ—nder like a twig so as a twig or the sight of it would have moved and stirred it but then the parent would not it was too soon the time was not yet afterwards would be soon enough Now if it be too late he must thank himself
of Him Whose place he represents A Lord of vassals is a Lieutenant of God There is nothing to which great Lords ought to attend so much as truly and cordially and like men who live in the presence of God to remaine ever faithfull and firme to Him without hanging either to this way or to that And this will be easily performed by that great man who shall attentively consider That he is but the Minister of God as one who but meerely executes and must not exceed the Commission which is given to him God places not great Lords in the world to the end that they may do and undo what they list but to execute the laws of His holy will And though they may account themselves Lords yet are they still under the universall Lord of all in comparison of whom they are more truly vassalls then their vassalls are theirs and their power is as truly limited as their vassalls power is for as much as concernes the dispensing with what they ought to do So much to his dutie whose office is to be the head of the body how great that office is and how strong the engagement for the answerable discharge of the same Others He hath made Seers as the eyes of the body such grace and excellency He hath given them They must look to it that their eye be single single towards their Masters glory These considerations will help much hereunto first That they are called His holy ones upon whom the Lord hath put the Vrim and the Thummim such excellencies we can neither expresse nor conceive c Exod. 28. 30. Quae qual a fuerint non consla◠2. That the higher their place is the lower their service The eye must observe how the feet walk The more proper and peculiar their persons are the more common servants they are They must observe how the hands work nor so only they are a leading hand look on me and do likewise d Judg. 7. 17. for they are as the Ship Admirall that carryeth the Lanthorn but of this a little after The third consideration is That the Apostles were sent forth as if they had neither bellies to feed nor backs to cloath yet neither did want as men of another world divided betwixt two and faithfull Stewards for both Their Lord and His Church Publique persons these are they must serve others not themselves the eye sees not for it self not yours but you e 2 Cor. 12. 14. is a standing rule At that instant saith that devout Spaniard doth that person cease to be publique when he hangs never so little towards the particular he must stand like a stalke of a ballance no wayes bending Lastly then I will remember for it is very usefull how that grave Divine f Avila's Spirituall epist Ibid 131. writes to him whom God had set as an eye in the body Your Lordship must consider that as you are set as an eye in the body so hath He placed you in the eyes of many who take that to be a rule of their lives which they see you do make account that you are seated in a high place and that your speech and fashions are seen by all and followed by the most men Take it for a point of greatnesse to obey the laws of Christ our Lord without doubt inferiour men would hold it an honour to do that which they saw practised by great persons And for this reason I beleeve that the Prelates of the Church and the Lords of the world are a cause of perdition to the most part of souls I beseech your Lordship that as you are a particular man you will look into your self with a hundred eyes and that you will look into your self with a hundred thousand as you are a person upon whom many look and whom many follow And take care to carry both your person and your house so orderly as the Law of Christ requires that he who shal imitate your Lordship may also imitate Christ our Lord therein and may meet with nothing to stumble at The vulgar is without doubt but a kinde of Ape Let great men consider what they do for in fine that will be followed either to their salvation if they give good example or for their condemnation if it be evill I will adde one thing more and it shall be the speech of Sarpedon to his brother Glaucus it is worth all mens knowledge Come on brother we are Lords over others accounted Gods upon earth Let us shew that we are so in deed and not in name Our work must evidence our worth They who are the highest Lords must in point of good service to their countrey be the lowest servants They that are above others in place must shine before others in vertue They that eat of the fattest and drink of the sweetest and so have the best wages must by the rule of propertion do the best work And this that our underlings such who are inferiour unto us may have cause to say these are honourable persons and they walk honourably they are prime first and principall men amongst us and they are as their preheminence in place imports the first and formost in every good and honourable action So Sarpedon g 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Hom. Iliad ◠12. encourageth his brother That as two worthy persons they might do worthily and it is worthy every mans knowledge that hath preheminence above others And so much to assure us what the dutie of those great officers is who are set as the head over the body and as guides and lights thereunto They guide all They must be be well able well to guide and command themselves for as they guide so the people follow their example is a command h Cogi eos dicit qui exemplo Petri Judaizabant Galat. 2. 14. Bez. if well they follow well Being like sheep a A cuRious and delicate fabrick so precious for use that it seemes to be made of finer mould then the rest of the body But that it should be made of the same matter wherof Bricks and Tyles are sheweth that God is admirable in working Chrys to the people of Antioch Hom 11. wandring cattle which will drive well in a flock but not single and alone i Advanc B. 2. 272. And as this may instruct us touching the dignity of those persons who are as the head and eyes in the body so may it informe us touching our obedience to both for from this little empire in this world obedience to the head is strongly inforced The beginning of all motion all the knots and conjugations of sinews are in and from the head they have their head there which teacheth that the bodies motion is by law from the head And for the eye it is notable which one observeth how observant all are of it and to it k Asch Fox p. 62. So much to those principall officers so fitly resembled to those principall
thou maist be very good upright in thy wayes hot fervent in prayer zealous of good workes else better thou wert cold key cold for a middle Temper as it is most deadly so it is most abominable Thus as a learned man writeth to his great friend I could have written unto thee things more pleasing nothing more profitable But what I have or shall write nothing will profit unlesse the feare of God awes the heart and inclines it unlesse He teacheth inwardly words cannot outwardly Waxe takes an easie impression from Iron Iron not so but very hardly an Adamant takes no impression at all by all our force because of its hardnesse so Nazianzen Epist 130. And such hearts we have understand but so much and it will humble thee it will hide pride from thine eyes and then thy eare is prepared and heart too And so much as a preparative to the eare but the Lord bore it and to incline thy heart to understanding but the Lord open it This is all the parent can doe and his maine duty at this point even to spread this peremptory bent of nature as was a Preface to the first part said before the Lord whose worke it is to turne the heart and to open the eare to instruction which now followes THE CONTENTS CHAP. I. GOds Goodnesse in framing us in the wombe in bringing us thence ascribed to His hand though yet the sore pain of childe birth no whit lesse engageth the Childe to the Mother how great that engagement is to pag. 5. duty to the Father enforced by a pressing-speech out of Luther and from two very great examples who brake that sacred bond and were remarkably punished to page 9. Gods patience in sparing and reprieving us His goodnesse in ranking us in the highest forme of His Creatures here below how that engageth and teacheth to page 13. His mercy in giving us all our parts or members and proportion in all a great engagement A recognition thereof and use therefrom to page 20. CHAP. II. OVr frame of spirit how depraved A glasse to look our selves in What seeds of corruption within us how it humbleth those that can look into it to p. 24. How to bottom our corruptions where its strong hold how we may fathom the depth of miserie The law of the leper to pag. 28. The love of the Father and the obedience of the sonne how figured out unto us to page 30. CHAP. III. BAptisme Outward Inward The secret work of the Spirit to page 31. We must not pry into this His secret if that work be not wrought Luthers counsell is to be followed Gods will holy and just Man willeth his own destruction to page 34. at this point reade the first part page 139. c. Lips de Constant lib. 1. cap. 20 c. lib. 2. cap. 15 c. Cent. 1. Ep. 58. Two things figured in Baptisme 35. 36. Our engagement from both How sacred our Christian name how strait our covenant 37. A feeling expression we are members and mighty to engage us that we are sons daughters heirs Solders who our enemies what their strength 39. A paradox against all conceit and reason Basil's complaint 40. A great question proposed and usefully answered 43. who the great tempters We must keep our watch strong 44. Our covenant Gods covenant Christ His obedience hath not abated an ace of ours Gods law broad and perfect The use a true Christian makes thereof One Root of grace and but one fruit to page 47. CHAP. IIII. THe root of sinne remaineth How the branches are kept from spreading 48. § 1. Pride why called the womans sinne whence it is that clothes haire c. do pusse up Whence we may fetch help against this â—ympany or swelling disease What considerations most prevalent and abasing from page 48 to page 61. applyed to the childe The grace of humilitie to page 64. § 2. Our darling sinne why so called what a snare it is and how it becomes so How we may keep our foot from being taken in that snare Beginnings must be withstood Chrysostome's words very notable thereupon to page 67. Occasions must be prevented a watch kept over our senses Over our fancy That it may be ordered and must else all will be out of order to pa 73. What may awe our thoughts 74. What the soveraigne help next to the awfulnesse of Gods eye to page 79. the summe and use thereof to the Childe to page 81. § 3. Of profit how unsatisfying what doth satisfie indeed to page 82. § 4. Anger What it is whence it ariseth who most subject unto it How we may be armed against this passion and overcome it Chrysostome's note notable and Melanchthons practise Gods patience towards us mighty to perswade us thereto Abraham and Isaac how meek and yeelding this way of the tongue from page 83. to page 92. § 5. Of Censure Charities rule her mantle how largely we may stretch it according to Chrysostomes and Mr Perkins rule A rule in Herauldry of great use to pag. 95. § 6. Affections sometimes the stormes of the soul sometimes the sweet gale or winde thereof like moist elements Who boundeth them Considerations of use to moderate our feare sorrow c. to page 100. § 7. Of Discontent how unreasonable it is Considerations teaching us content in present things Chrysostomes short story very notable so are the Philosophers words with Mr Bradfords concluded to page 107. CHAP. V. THe Sacrament of the Lords Supper Graces required in those who present themselves at that Table If wanting what is to be done Note Chrysostomes words and Dr Luthers at that point The close of the chapter very notable so is Mr Raynolds meditation to page 121. CHAP. VI. MAriage A solemne ordinance I. Our well and orderly entring into that honourable estate Abuses very many and great touching that point in young and old Whose abuse most notorious and how justly punishable c. to page 125. Our rule in treating about a match application thereof to the childe A childe no match-maker A notable story to that purpose to page 127. The duty of every single person threefold of infinite concernment to page 131. The Parents or overseers duty at this point five-fold The last of the five least thought on and worse answered but of infinite concernment page 138. II. Our well ordering our selves in that state as becometh the honour thereof Affections at the first strongest how to guide their streame in a right channell sinne hath put all out of frame Chrysostomes note notable Page 140. Good to count our Cost and forecast trouble Page 142. Equality inequality hard to draw even The man the leading hand how he stands charged the weight of the charge If the head be surcharged or so headlesse it cannot lead or drawâ—s backward what the wives duty The head hath a head a grave consideration 148. A consideration which may helpe to make up all breaches and silence all differences betwixt man and
wife out of Chrysostome Page 149. Grievances rancked under two heads What is only evill and to be feared Page 152. Evils Imaginary Reall The former how prevented Page 154. The bearing the latter silently and like a Christian supposeth two things greatly to be studied to Page 158. Snares they spring from two rootes how snares from plenty are prevented that our foote be not taken with them Feare a Catholike remedy page 163. snares from scarcenesse how to breake through them and how to carry and quiet our spirits in them 165. The houswifes charge how it may be discharged to wards children what the parents ambition touching them and servants our charge over them how neglected The houswifes duty engageth the Tongue that it bee apt to teach The eyes for over sight The hands that they be diligent and open mercy to the poore inforced to page 170. Diligence a great thriver well husbanding the present makes us secure for the after time The family the fountaine of society how ordered if it be as those families whose praise is in the Gospell The conclusion to page 175 CHAP. VII OLD-Age as an Haven we must doe as men arrived safe there What questions we must put to our soules the more to quicken us to the sacrifice of praise Many questions resolved into one to page 180. Two periods of this Age. I. Desired not welcomed A calme Time if youth hath not troubled it It must be imployed The lamp of our life must not now blaze-out to page 184. A grave complaint and counsaile page 186. who gives understanding 187. II. How burdensome those yeares The Grashopper a Burden When our time is shortest our expectation is longest a weake Body but a strong presumption how vaine to think we can turne to God then when we have turned from Him all our dayes It is not our Time nor Gods Time to page 192. Fooles delay Time Children of wisdome not so to page 193. Two lessons drawne from hence We must not wish for death in a passion Eternity when we may wish for death to page 196. Not trifle away Time Grave counsell to that purpose 197. Who may be said properly to live Groanes not discernable from what spirit they proceed 199. We make an Idoll of the last prayer What first to be done 221. Comfort in death Whence the peace of the Godly They taste not death they see it not c. Applyed to the Child concluded Faults escaped Page 29. line 12. of thy wings read whereof Page 50. line 34. covered read opened Not be hid Page 108. line 7. this read thy 109. Last line read imply Page 116. line 29. would read should These faults were found not sought for and because they marre the sense are noted so might many more if there had been will or leasure to have perused the Book The Remaines must stand as properly belonging to every person and presse and expect favour from every one who knows himselfe partaking of the same common nature But if here are more faults then usuall our excuse is that the coppy could not be made legible by the Authors own hand and being written by another was the more wanting in stops and otherwise and we keep to the Coppy A CHILDES PORTION The Second Part. Respecting a Childe grown up CHAP. I. What we are taught by beholding our selves in the wombe and what by our outward frame of body I Shall now call thee back to look unto the Rock whence thou was hewen to the wombe whence thou was taken I shall begin with thee at the very beginning of thy being that thou maiest take a more cleare sight and consideration even there of Gods goodnesse thy Parents kindnesse thy self misery Assuredly there is no period of a mans age that yeelds him such a discerning as this point of time doth at which he first breathed in this world and so set forth to runne his race Therefore I shall reduce thee now to thy primitive originals and as it were lay thee again in the wombe whence thou didst spring That in this way of reduction thou maiest take speciall notice of two main and principall points whereon so much depends 1. Thy outward frame of body 2. Thy inward frame of spirit Of the outward frame here § 1. Here take notice of God first and of His goodnesse laid out upon thee when of nothing thou wast made something some few dayes before thou wast a meere nothing That which never shall be was in as great a possibility of being as then thou wast And when thou wast something Iob tels thee what it was that something was as much as Mar. Au. Ant. Medit. li. 10. Sect. 26. p. 171 nothing to the producing of such an effect so an Heathen could say from such a beginning Of that nothing wast thou limmed or framed thence this curious work not the work of nature but of an Almighty-hand quickning Nature and actuating the same And in seven dayes for so experience tells us saith Hier. Fabricius the Physitian that frame P. 686. had its proportion of all parts And one half of that work but the better part indeed is more worth then a whole world thy soul so He saith who went to the price of soules § 2. And as thou must take notice of the hand that covered thee in thy mothers wombe so must thou take notice of the same hand for the same Hand it was that brought thee thence and none other but that If this hath not been told thee nor haft thou yet considered so much then beleeve me that the most curious searchers into Nature and the powers thereof which are great and strange in their extent and latitude they who have ascribed too much unto it even they have yet acknowledged at this point when the childe is brought to the birth and no power to bring forth that this is the finger of God this is the work of His hand And yet this sorrow in child-birth is not the same in all nor is the danger the Lord so dispensing therewith though the curse be common We know what the Mid-wives say touching the Hebrew women and common experience tels us also that some women there are who in this case speed better then their betters We read what our Geographer and Historiographer for he is both writeth concerning History of S. George Histo of the Sab. Geog. p. 32. the Spanish women and what he citeth out of Strab◠touthing a woman there who rose from one labour to another from labour in child-birth to labour in the field She was rather an Hedge-woman then a child-bed woman and it is with them many times as we heard But this we are sure of that is that burthen which is laid upon that Sex In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children and so wonderfull the Delivery is that we may say with the Prophet Thou art Psal 71. 6. He that took me out of my mothers bowels my praise shall be continually of
some things they have concealed which should have been made known and some things have been presented under a colour and shew and all to compasse a poore end some wealth and repute amongst neighbours but things have proved contrary they have embraced a shadow and lost the substance They preferred a poore accessory before the principall and so have been paid with winde with counterfeit coyne instead of currant I could instance in some now widows and widowers who at this present do smart openly and in the eyes of others for their reservednesse their secret and cunning contrivance and imposture this way nor could it be otherwise for it is not Gods way we cannot expect a blessing in it What I compasse by guile and cunning doth but serve to increase my after discomfort A foundation i 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Piâ—d Nem. od â— layed in unrighteousnesse will be like a tottering wall at the best but like a house built upon the sands and tending to ruine And therefore this should be a warning to those who have any hand in this so weightie and fundamentall a businesse the issues whereof are so great And hence follows their rule which is this Look wherein a man expects the greatest good and his expectation is larger in no other thing then in marriage being most ancient important fundamentall to a sweet societie of life and a great number of mutuall obligations and profitable offices flowing thence therein now in a businesse of so high concernment Let a man proceed in the greatest evidence and clearenesse of dealing not swerving one jot or haires breadth from the wayes of sinceritie and truth This is the direction and I would have it evidence my minde when my tongue cannot And now childe to make application of all to thy self and way for thy better provision considering the premises That marriage is a businesse of such and so great consequence and concernment That the band is so strait that nothing can dissolve it but death or that which is to be punished with death that if there be an errour at first it is hardly recoverable afterwards considering all this I that might command thee do intreat thee by that worthy name called upon Thee and thy sacred vow then given By all the engagements of a childe such be all thy parents travell for thy good By all the comforts thou canst hereafter look for Be well advised first before thou doest proceed in this great businesse which requires such and so much deliberation Be I say well advised first By whom not by thine own heart aske not counsell there it may be and is in such cases strangely corrupted nor by thine own eare there is prejudice nor eye that is blinded nor affections they are troubled and can give no certain answer Nor by thy self for now thou art not thy self Thy judgement and reason are quite steeped in affection k Affectiones facile faciunt opiniones Yeeld thy self wholly up to those who have the oversight and charge over thee that is my charge There leave this great businesse and submit Here shew thy obedience as thou lookest to prosper All thy deportment from the yeares of understanding and onward thy gesture thy words thy actions should all at all times sweetly and child-like speake out and shew forth thy dutie to due observance of thy parents So as all that look on thee may heare and reade it in thy whole carriage and all short enough to answer thy debt But here is the principall businesse wherein they that have the charge over thee look to be observed And as thou doest observe them here so look to prosper I will read a short story here wherein we shall see a great example of a childes dutie at this point The greater the person was the greater the example is yet not so great the person in respect of place and dignitie but we are greater then he in respect of name and profession And therefore if we Christians fall short at this point our disobedience will be as the more notorious so the more abominable Xenophon relates the story thus Instit Cyri. lib. 8. p. 665. Cyaxares would have espoused his daughter to Cyrus the great offers him a portion answerable A large countrey for her Dowry great gifts besides Cyrus thus nobly makes answer I like the Stock well I cannot dislike the Branch The portion pleaseth and proportion both all lovely and desireable But Sir I am a Childe and must deport my self herein Childe-like A Childe is no match-maker unlesse in childish and triviall things things of a low nature and of but ordinary concernment A Childe must not treat at such a point as this I have Sir a Father and a Mother both as they will treat and conclude so shall I determine and resolve you This is the example and see the old discipline and awfull respect of children in old Time to Fathers and Governours And but equall it is and very reasonable that so it should be for if the Parents will determine nothing till they aske the maide l Gen. 24. 57 58. whereof afterwards how unchild like were it to say no more for the maide to say or do any thing till she aske the Parents Esau was a bad Childe of a good Father and he shewed saith Chrysostome his untowardnesse betimes for he Ibid. matched himself without his Parents coÌ„sent And that we may know how ill such matching thrives It is upon everlasting record That they were a griefe of minde unto Isaac and Rebecca m Gen. 26. 35. And certainly if we grieve the hearts of our good Parents we do in so doing block up our own way to our desired blessing so then the best counsell I can give and the best provision a childe can make against this great and solemne time and for the better successe in this great businesse is to look carefully first to its single charge And then to leave the rest to them whose charge it is and have taken upon them faithfully to discharge the same The first is a Childes principall dutie This ruling of one well The discharging of that little great-Cure so as a man souls have no sexes as was said may quit himself like himself in that single account This I say is every single Bodies principall dutie Therefore of this first 1. We are by nature ambitious of rule like the Bramble the more unfit to govern others the more desirous We love to be in authoritie and have others under us before we have got command over our selves We would take upon us the charge of more souls so doth He or She that enter into this condition and they must be accountable for them too the greatest cure in the world before we know how weightie the charge of one soul is Marriage is an honourable estate and if well ordered there is nothing in the world more beautifull And that it may be so we must be well ordered before-hand
themselves with haste and proved like proffered wares of the least esteem quite disregarded They must wait on God here in whose hand leadeth into every good way and gives a blessing in it And they must wait His time also which is a chief point of their duty 3. The younger folk must leave this weighty businesse in their hands who are deputed under God to take the cure over them and the care thereof And this if the single parties shall do they have then discharged their double duty before mentioned which consisted first in the well ordering themselves and so discharging their single cure And then in leaving the rest for the changing of their condition wholly in their hands whose charge it is and whose duty also it is faithfully to discharge the same and now followeth for it is necessary I should adde something thereof I mean touching the overseers duty They that are overseers of the childe Parents or deputed so to be must be earnest with the Lord at this point for it is a main duty house and riches are the inheritance of Fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord p Prov. 19. 14. Parents may give a good portion but a good wife is Gods gift a great mercy and greatly to be desired This is their first duty The next is 2. They must choose the man we regard not sexes I say a man not a boy not a girle before the face can discern the sex parents must avoid the inconveniency of haste in so important a businesse which helps to fill the world with beggery and impotency q See Censure of Travell sect 7. And they must choose the man I say the man not his money It is well where both meet and then they may choose and wink but that is not very ordinary and therefore they must be the the more watchfull so where there is a flush of money an high-tide of prosperitie there is commonly a low ebbe of better matters which indeed denominates a man prosperitie is a great snare the greater when the young heire begins at the top first at the same peg or height where the Father ended and it is many times accompanied with some idlenesse of brain * Ad omne voâ—um fâ—â—ente â—ortuna 〈◊〉 ocium Quint. Dec. 3. p. 32. I need not feare this but yet I say in way of caution choose the man and then the money when I say a man I mean such an one who can finde meat in a wildernesse who carries his riches about him * Cic. Parad. Sen. ep 9. when he is stript of his money who hath his chief comelinesse within and yet not uncomely without such a man they should choose If this man be wanting the childe shall not set her eyes upon him the parent must not If some money be wanting no great want it is easily supplied it is certain if other things answer some want that way I mean in money is not of sufficient value to hold off or make a breach As it was said of the talents The Lord is able to give much more then this r 2 Chron. 25. 9. But if goodnesse be wanting it is a greater want then is in a light piece of gold which in a great paiment will passe not withstanding as many great wants passe currant where there is a great portion Parents must shew their wisdome here else they fail in a prime duty They must choose goodnesse and not account it an accessary Better want the money then the man Å¿ See Chrysost of the choice of a wife Ser. 28. Tom. 5. Non sum ex insano amatorum genere qui vitia etiam exosculantur ubi semel formâ capti sunt Haec sola est quae me delectat pulchritudo c. calv ep 16. Religion t Mâ— Bolton direct p. 236. and the feare of God as it it is generally the foundation of all humane felicitie so must it in speciall be accounted the ground of all comfort and blisse which man and wife desire to finde in the enjoying each of other There was never any gold or great friends any beauty or outward bravery which tied truly fast and comfortably any marriage knot It is onely the golden link and noble tie of Christianitie and grace which hath the power and priviledge to make so deare a bond lovely and everlasting Mendax est omnis secularis amicitia quae divini timoris vinculo non est ligata Chrys Hom. 24. in Matth. â—atin tantum which can season and strengthen that nearest inseparable societie with true sweetnesse and immortalitie So farre Mr Bolton and so much touching the Over-seers duty in making the choice 3. There is another main point That they give the childe leave to approve of the choice As the Childe offers the greatest affront to Parents in giving her consent without their leave and privitie so shall Parents offer the greatest wrong to the childe that can be thought of in concluding a match without or against the childes allowance we have an old example hereof and a standing rule We will call c Gen. 24. 57. 58. To use constraint and force here is the greatest piece of injurie that is done in the world yet so injurious have some Parents been and so they have compassed their end some estate for their childe but quite forfeited the comfort of estate and childe both The parents care was for that the childe least cares for and neglected the main the childes liking of the choice This is most injurious dealing nay more not unlike his and that was most inhumane who joyned the living to the dead y Vâ—g AEâ— 7. Smithfield and other places have told us the sad sequells of such matches So then this is the next thing belonging to the Parents charge They will not proceed without the childes consent But it will be said as many times it falls out The Parents have made a fit choice and have asked the childes consent but cannot have it nor any reason except a womans reason why it refuseth And indeed so it may well be for the elder sort cannot alwayes give reason of what they like or dislike and when they can their reason is unreasonable in such cases no better then folly See first part chap. 4. 13. 4. P. 55. much lesse sometimes can the younger And if so then the childe must be drawn on by all faire meanes and the plainest Arguments such as true wisdome and discretion can suggest whereby to win upon it and sweetly to incline the will And if after some time of tryall they cannot by such faire means prevail then the worl is wide enough they must make another choice they must not use force oh by no means I think now of the sad and heavy consequences herefrom So long as my childe hath a principle of life to carry her to Church let her not be borne thither as upon others shoulders for she matches for her self principally
Indeed there is not a more unseemely and unworthy sight then to see a wife usurp the authoritie over the man It is like a body I have sometime seen whose head was bowed down so close to the breast that behind you could scarce discern any thing but the shoulders Certainly it is a seemely sight To see t There is much in the example of a good master to make all follow his steps though he say nothing yet children and servants may see enough whereby they may be taught Chrysost in cap. 17. Gen. bom 40. â— the head stand out in sight and the contrary as unseemely And as unseemely every whit if the man demean himself unworthy of his place if he be not answerable to his honour and headship it will but disgrace him the more being like a pearle set in lead or a jewell in a swines snout a skull without braines or an head without wit It is not to be doubted but the prime dutie and the very weight of the burden lyeth upon the man It is much how he leadeth the way and draweth here for the head is the Glory and Crown of the Body and to be an Head imports a preheminence and soveraigntie it implyes also a derivation of the spirits thence to the members which being intercepted the body would quickly fall into a dead palsie Vt in corporibus siâ— in imperio gravissimus est morbus qui â— capite dâ—ssâ—â—ditur Plâ—n l. 4. cp 22. â— Morbido Capite nil sanum est aeque ullum 〈◊〉 membrum efficio suo 〈◊〉 ubi quod est principale non constat de 〈◊〉 d. Gaber l. 7. pag. 234. All which strongly argueth the mans principall charge and duty to whom belongs the headship and therefore is the principall and leading example The man by his example must lead on the wife to faith else what is one in the flesh will be two in the spirit that is diviâ—ed saith Chrysologus Vir conjugem deducat ad fidem ne quod unâ—m est â— carâ—◠〈◊〉 â—â—â— d â— sum Ser. 10. As it is in printing when on Sheet is set a thousand 〈◊〉 prâ—ssâ—d after it so when the master hath a good impression upon him â—is 〈◊〉 is â—â—sily 〈◊〉 to prâ—ty If Grace that pretious oyntment be plentifully â—â—â—â—e head and heart of the Master it will quickly distill to his skirts children and servants The man is in his place though of the lowest ranke yet in his place as the great parsons in their great seas as the Adâ—irall ship that beares the Lanthorne all steare after it And indeed this man though in a low estate of life yet being out of order can blow as big and raise as great stormes proportionably in his little pond as the other doe in their great seas so Lipsius phraseth it x De Const lib. 2. chap 25. see part first p. 93. The lightnesse of my family shall be laid to my charge so my conâ—cience makes me feare for lacke of more earnest and deligent instruction which should have beene done Bishop Ridly to Master Weâ— martyr p. 1569. Therefore whether the man be in high place or low it is very much how he leadeth the way for he is as one that carryeth the Lanthorne If the husband hath received the stampe of holinesse as was said y Epistle to the first part he will quickly presse his houshold with the same impression if Grace that pretious oyntment be in the head of the head in an house it will quickly destill to his skirts Children and servants A husband should know that he is not more above his wife in place then in example Therefore what is done amisse in the house will returne upon the man as most blame-worthy My conscience makes me feare that the lightnesse of my family shall be laid upon my charge for lacke of more earnest and diligent instruction which should have been done said Bishop Ridly to Master West Woe and woe againe if we by our examples should make others to stumble at the Truth So Iohn Bradford to Iohn Carelesse z Martyr pag. 1569. Pag. 1494. It is a tradition that Matthias the Apostle was used to say If a goodmans neighbour did fall into any great sinne the goodman was to be blamed for if that goodmans life had been sutable to his Rule the Word of God then had his example according to rule so awed that neighbor that he had not so falne said Clemens of Alexandria a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Strom. l. 7. pag. 541. Much more may the same be said touching the husband and the wife the father and the child the master and the servant if any thing be amisse if things goe not straight in the family it is very likely the husband the father the master walke not according to rule but some crosse or crooked way for he is the head the leading hand The starres are eclipsed oftner then the greater lights but their eclipse we observe not but if the Sunne or Moone are eclipsed our eyes are upon them for the one rules the day the other the night Inferiors faile often in their duty but the observation is what their Superiours what their Governours doe They are in their little house as the Sunne and Moone are in the great world The little great Rulers therein Therefore it requires our Marke That it was the Man for whose faithfulnesse the Lord did undertake I know that Abraham will command his children and his household c. b Gen. 18. 19. Command marke that Command not so much by his Word though that was a command too but by example That hath more force in it more of that we call compulson Abraham will command And it was the Man that promised for himself I and my house will serve the Lord Ioshua last 15. It was the man and a man after Gods own heart that said I will walk within my house with a perfect heart Psal 101. And much reformation must follow for the removing of the wicked from his seat and sight and for the encouragement of the godly as it is plain in that place And which is more this was a great house a kingdome It was a man and one under authoritie though he had souldiers under him and they are none of the tamest creatures who did say to this man go and he went and to another come and he came and to his servant do this and he did it And to put the lowest last for indeed he was much below a Christian but quite shames him it was an old man and a darkman That had foure sonnes stout young men five daughters many servants a great retinue over all this man carried himself with such authoritie with such a Lord like command but so well tempered as his servants feared him his children reverenced him all honoured and loved him In the house you might see saith the author c Cic. de Sente the old paternall authoritie and
disquieteth himselfe in vaine touching his Childe Let him take these Directions which are brought to my hand touching this point 1. We who are Parents must take speciall care about our Generall Calling how we answer that great and honourable name which is called upon us so likewise for our Children Thoughts heereof must busie us And herein we should remember this rule Christianity is a matter rather of Grace then of Gifts of Obedience then of Parts Gifts may come from a more common work of the spirit and more for others then our selves Grace comes from a peculiar favour of God and specially for our owne good And so if the Parent direct the Childe also he shall teach it a Trade which is surer then house or Land 2. For a particular Calling we must be very wary as in behalfe of our selves so of our Children That we walke not above the parts and Graces we see in them for then we shall put them into another condition then ever God ordained them for The issue whereof will be discouragement in themselves and disgrace from others As a warranted Calling warranted I meane by the Word of God whereof in a fitter place is no small warrant for comfort so the fitnesse of our parts for this Calling what ever it be is the best warrant that any man hath that he is Called thereunto And he must remember That no Calling is so meane but a man may finde enough to give account for And meane though it be yet faithfulnesse will commend a person in the lowest condition of life And unfaithfulnesse will poure contempt upon the height of Dignity as a spewing upon that Glory Our Master in Heaven regards not how high a man is but how faithfull he is e God hath given thy Brother a great gift to thee a little one He hath proportioned the work accordingly and so spares thee Blesse His Name therefore and be faithfull in thy little so maist thou receive â— great Reward His great and thy little came out of the same Treasuâ—y and was dispensed by the same Hand Doe not call God to an account why He gave thee little and thy Brother much but labour thou to be accountable for thy Measure Chrysost 1 Cor. 12. Hom. 29. The maine work then of a Parent with his Childe at this point is to take a right Scale and measure of his Childes parts and so answerably to fit it with a fit Calling The Parent must labour by all means to hide Pride from the Child I meane The Parent must beat it off from vaine-glory and selfe-conceit young folke have the best opinion of themselves because they discerne themselves worst and to shake it off from sloth that Moth and Canker of our Parts The one Pride will make the man and Childe both to lay open their weaknesses The other Sloth will make them not to know Qui se nescit uti se nescit their strength or not to put it forth And let the Parent having done his endeavour comfort himselfe with this That how weake or unserviceable soever his Childe seemes to be if not doubly deformed in respect of his parts yet there is no member but it is fitted with some abilities to do some service in the body and by good nurture and manurance may grow up to a greater measure And let him consider this with it That as in the body naturall the most exalted part the Head hath need of the lowest the foote so there is not the greatest person but may have use both of the parts and graces of the meanest in the Church I say more though I may not say The head more needs the foote then the foote the head nor will I say though so it is concluded f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost 1 Cor. 13. Hom. 34. Aristop 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Act. 2. Sc. 5. That the poore man who is as the foot doth not so much need the Rich who is as the head as the rich man needs the poore man for who needs more or who lesse that is not the point but one needs the other that is certaine Nay one cannot be without the other And this that the poore man may not be too much cast downe nor the rich overmuch exalted but that the one and the other may glorifie Him that hath so disposed them so as in the body there should be no lack But now in the last place for maintenance for the Childe how he shall live hereafter The thoughts whereof so take up and tyre out the Parents thoughts so stuffs his heart and disquiets his Rest and peace For this is the great enquiry who will shew us any good Where is this preferment to be had How shall I make my Childe rich and high in the World Where shall I finde a place where he may have great wages and little work This is the great enquiry All the Parents Travels hither and thither is but to make discovery of this point where this fortunate Iland is where is gold and there he would land his Childe and no other reason can he give of all his dangerous adventures but this and this carryeth him and dasheth him upon rocks also because the gold of that Land is good This is the sore Travell and one of the great evils under the Sunne And a folly it is exceeding that of the simplest Idiot in the World for it is as if the Parent should lay out all his whole stock of wealth and wit to purchase and furnish a Chamber for his Childe in a Through fare and provide it no house in the City where it is for ever to dwell I cannot take off this vaile of false opinion But assuredly if we would follow the counsell of the wise we might shorten our sore Travell at this point and make our way to Comfort more compendious The Counsell is this Our g What madnesse is it to spend all our labour to possesse our selves of the Cisâ—erne when the fountaine is offered unto us S. C. p. 642 â— S. C. p. 249. care must be to know our work touching our selves touching ours and then to doe it and so to doe it as unto God with conscience of moderate diligence for over-doing and overworking any thing comes either from ostentation or distrust in God And negligence is so S. Con. 249. farre from getting any blessing that it brings us under a curse That which belongs to us in our calling is care of discharging our duty That which God takes upon him is Assistance and good successe in it Let us look to our worke and leave God to doe His owne Diligence and Trust in Him is onely ours the rest of the burthen is His h Let us make good our ends and the meanes we use and God wil make good the issue and turne all to the best Dr. Feat p. 103. We must part our care so as to take upon us onely this care of Duty and leave the rest
to God S. Con. 85. In a Family the Fathers and the Mothers care is the greatest The Childes care is onely to obey and the servants to doe his work Care of Provision and Protection doth not trouble them Most of our disquietnesse in our Calling is that we trouble our selves about Gods work whereas we should Trust God and be doing in fitting the Childe and let God alone with the rest He stands upon His credit so much that it shall appeare we have not trusted Him in vaine even when we see no appearance of doing any good when we cannot discerne by all our spialls the least shew either for provision or Protection We remember who were very solicitous for their Children and because they could not provide for them nor protect them neither therefore perish they must in the wildernesse We must remember also That the Lord took care of those Children and destroyed those distrustfull parents who thought there was no path in a wildernesse because they could not discerne any nor meate to be had there because their hand was too short to provide it It is dangerous questioning the power of God in the greatest straite If He bring any person into a wildernesse it is because He may shew His power there for provision and protection both God works most wonderfully for and speaks the sweetest comfort to the heart in a wildernesse Note we this then and so I conclude There is much uncertainty in the Certainty of man and all Certainty in the uncertainty of God I tearme it so by allowance of the Spirit i 1 Cor. 1. 25. in respect of mans apprehension There is no uncertainty in God but all Certainty as in Him is all Wisdome all Strength We apprehend that there is a Certainty in man and an Uncertainty in God for if we observe our hearts we Trust Him least but that is our Foolishnesse and Weaknesse There is all uncertainty in men even in the best of men in Princes place no Certainty there There is all Certainty in God as in Him is all Wisdome and Strength put we confidence there Cast we Anchor upwards Commit we all but in well-doing all we have and all we are into his everlasting Armes Then assuredly we shall finde a stay for our selves and a portion for ours Provision and Protection both He is all to us and will be so when we are nothing in our selves And so much touching my Wildernesse and Gods providing for me even there though I tempted him ten times I call it a wildernesse for so I may because so my foolishnesse in my wayfare made it And Gods provision for me was very remarkable and therefore to be remembred for the Parents sake and Childrens too of great use and concernment to both Indeed he that can say no more of his Travels but that he passed through a Wildernesse hath said little to commend his Pilgrimage but much to magnifie the power of That Hand whereby he had a safe Convoy through the same It is a poore and worthlesse life such mine is that hath nothing worthy to be remembred in it but its Infirmities But yet there is nothing so magnifies Gods power * 2 Cor. 12. 9. as mans weaknesse doth When I shall give account of my life and cast up the summe thereof saith Iunius k Miserationes Domini narrabo quum rationes narrabo miserae vitae meae ut glorificetur dominus in me qui secit me vitâ Junii affix Oper. Theol. and so he begins I shall tell of the mercies of the Lord and His loving kindnesse to me ward And then he goes on reckoning up the infirmities of his body some of his minde too but that he puts a Marke upon is what extremitie he was in at Geneva and how graciously the Lord disposed thereof for that was remarkable indeed Beza also spareth not to tell us nay he fills his mouth with it how troublesome the Itch was to him not so easily cured then Deut. 28. 29. as now and what a desperate way the Smart the Chyrurgeon put him to and bad Counsell put him upon Such it was that there was but a step betwixt him and death but God wonderfully put to His Hand inter Pontem fontem Beza could not but confesse that Mercy as we finde it in his Epistle before his Confefsions And so farre That the Parent and Childe both may learne to account Gods works and if it might be to call His mercies by their names and to rest upon Gods providence as the surest inheritance Now I come to give the reason of my paines in all this which follows and what ingageth a Parent unto this Duty 1. I considered my yeers declining a pace When the Sunne is passed the Meridian and turned towards its place where it must set then we know the night approcheth when man ceasing from his work lyeth down in the Darke It is the Wisemans Counsell l Eccles 9. 10. and it is his wisdome to do that which is in his hand with all his might m Prima Actionum Argo Committenda sunt extrema Briareo de Aug. l. 6. 41. before he goes hence for there is no working in the grave The putting off this Day and the next and halfe a day cost the poore Levite and his Concubine very deer as we read Iudg. 19. And it teacheth us in our affairs concerning our selves or ours in setting our house in order That it is dangerous triflng away the Day-light I cannot say with Isaac I am old or mine eye is dimme but I must say in the following words I know not the day of my Death God may spare me among mine yet longer for my building is not so old but it may stand And yet so unsound the foundation is for it is of Clay it may sinke quickly as my good Father before me I may lye down turne to the Wall and to the earth all at once though yet I have scarcely felt and so also my Father before me the least distemper If this consideration come home and proves seasonable I shall then set all in a readinesse and in order that when Death comes I may have then no more to doe but to welcome it and shut the eye and depart tanquam Conviva Satur as one that hath made an improvement of life and hath hope in Death That was my first consideration 2. I considered my Children all three young the eldest but peeping into the World discerning little the second but newly out of the armes the youngest not out of the Cradle I considered also they are not so much mine as the Lords Whom thou hast borne unto me saith the Lord Ezek. 16. 20. And therefore in all reasonable Construction to be returned back againe unto Him by a well ordered education as himselfe hath appointed These thoughts so over-ruled me at length for I am not easily drawn to take my Pen in hand and prevailed with me to pen some instructions