looke to their households that they should serue God with them and did constantly performe it that then they had no seruants at all Was so great a man as Iehosua without seruants when hee promised before so many witnesses that he his house wold serue the Lord Was Dauid left alone and constrained to doe all himselfe when as being a mighty King hee bound himselfe vnto it by that song which he made for the same purpose wherein hee saith Mine eyes shal be vnto the faithfull of the land that they may dwell with me Psal 101.6 7. he that walketh in a perfect way he shall serue me there shall no deceitfull person dwel in mine house he that telleth lyes shall not remaine in my sight Had not Abraham a great household Gen. 14.14 when hee was able of the sudden to carrie forth with him of theÌ„ that were borne brought vp in his house three huÌ„dred and eighteene men in armour to rescue his brother Lot Of whom notwithstanding it is said that he would teach his household the way of the Lord. As it appeareth he did indeed wheÌ„ by his only perswasion at the word of God â—hap 18.12 All the males were contented to be circumcised and to receiue that Sacrament vnknowne before and painful also ignominious to the flesh if they had looked only to the outward signe and must not that worthy Captaine of an hundred ItaliaÌ„ souldiers needs haue a greater family theÌ„ many of these that cauill at this doctrine of whom the spirit of trueth reporteth That hee feared God Act. 10.2 and all his household Obiection What shall wee thinke of all these men Shall we ignorantly presume to the further deceiuing of our selues and hardening vs in this sinne that the times were then better good seruantes were more plentifull Or must wee needes confesse as the trueth is indeede Answere that these men vsed more meanes to make their seruants the seruants of God then men doe now adaies and that so the blessing of God was greater vpon them And is it not set downe in writing for our learning to shewe vs what is that which we might looke for at Gods hands if we would walke in the same way that they did seeing there is no respect of persons times or places with him Secondly hee must set an order in his house for the seruice of God to witte that morning and euening before meales and after meales prayers and thankes may bee made vnto God and so hee acknowledged to bee the authour not only of all spiritual graces that belong to a better life but also of al temporal blessings that belong to this life for seeing that it is Gods good hand ouer vs that doth defend vs and all our family in the night froÌ„ outward dangers and giueth vs freedome from feares and terrors and from Sathans rage and also giueth vs rest and comfortable sleepe for the refreshing of our fraile bodies is it not meete wee should begge it at his hand by prayer before we prepare our selues to rest and praise him for it when wee rise from it Againe seeing that euery day we are subiect to innumerable dangers which we know not of and both wisedom strength to follow good and honest callinges and also the blessing vpon our labours to make vs prosper by them are from God alone should we not beginne the day with suit vnto God for his gracious protection and for his mercifull blessing of vs 1. Tim. 4.5 And seeing meates and drinks are sanctified vnto vs on Gods parte by the worde and on ours by prayer doubtles though God hath by his worde sanctified them they are vnholy vnto vs when we doe not for our part sanctifie them by faithfull prayer and thankesgiuing And this was Dauids practise Psal 55.17 Euening morning and at noonetide will I pray and make a noyse and he will heare my voyce If any say it is sufficient for the gouernour to charge euery one in his family to do it priuatly by himselfe so might the Prince say it is inough to do as Darius did to charge euery one in all his dominions Dan. 6.26 to worship no God but Daniels God Yet godly Princes thought it their dutie to set vp the worship of God in their dominions to take order that God might be worshipped publikely ioyntly of al in their land So did Iob for his household Iob. 1.5 6 not onely bid his children pray to God by themselues but he appointed set times of praying togither sacrificing and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto Againe if the master lay the matter vpon the consciences of such as be of his familie then if they bee negligent God shall haue no honor worship in that familie But we reade of Abraham that wheresoeuer he became he built an altar to God Gen. 12.7.8 13.8 21.33 22.9 where God should bee worshipped ioyntly of his family If God should measure out his goodnes to thee as thou measurest honor and glorie to him in what a case wert thou Hee doth giue a charge to his Angels to keepe thee he commaÌ„deth the earth to allow thee meat for thy sustenance but his commandement is an effectuall word that maketh them to doe the thing that he chargeth them withall Wilt thou now only bid thy seruant or sonne to serue honor God and not see that he do it helpe him in it Then thou dost not measure out vnto God as thou wouldest haue him measure to thee This dutie then belongeth to a christian head of a familie to worship God with all his familie to take order that when he shal be absent vpon necessary occasion it may be done reuerently and duly by some one in his familie that by reason of wit and age may be meet for it The neglect of this dutie letteth into families many grieuous enormities and outward miseries while God in his iustice refuseth to blesse such as by their carelesnesse in seruing of him doe shew that they take not him to be the author of all welfare to soule or bodie but thinke to do wel inough without him or else thinke to haue their turnes serued without requesting The third dutie Priuate instructing which the chiefe gouernour must performe to all in his familie is priuate instruction dealing with theÌ„ in matters of religion for the building of them vp in true faith and for the inuring bringing of them to a coÌ„science towards God that they may not onely know and professe religion but also feele and shew the power of religion in their liues This dutie hath these specials belonging to it First a familiar plaine opening vnto them the principles of religion after the manner of a Catechisme This dutie the holy Ghost layeth vpon parents Ephe. 6.4 Traine them vp in doctrine and holy precepts drawne out of the word The like was commaÌ„ded to parents in the old law
deale well whereas diuision in the gouernours maketh partaking in the seruants and then they care not for pleasing but onely that side which they affect And such kinde of seruice is but smally beneficiall to thriuing It can hardly be auoyned but there will bee some squaring and dibersitie betweene the man and his wife but they must labour to compose such matters priuately and quickly that they grow not to breaches for they bee dangerous to thrift Let there be therfore reasonings secretly betweene themselues of such matters as might breede a skarre but let them bee soone ended after the occasion is offered before the mindes be much exasperated Let there bee no hard words of either side nor opening of olde matters Let it bee done priuately betweene themselues and not before children or seruants for they will not sticke to carie tales to please the humours of the partie to whom they are most affected Besides they will spie your infirmities and grow to a lesse regarde of you and they will blaze abroad such matters to your discredit A good huswife is a great patrimonie â— she is most honourable that is most honest and godly A good sauer is as good as a good getter Now for her behauiour towards her seruants and children if it bee prudent and with wisedome it doth much good in a house but it containeth many points That which her care for the most part tendeth vnto is sauing She that will be a good sauer must not be a slender huswife but skilfull in all points whereof she shall haue vse in her familie She must not let her maides haue their owne waies for want of skâ—ll but she must bee able to direct and prescribe what and how in euery busines Where she hath little skill by reason of her education she must bee carefull by conferring and marking to learne skil against she is to deale in such things that she may bee able to direct her seruants and to finde them out when they haue done amisse As a word spoken in his place is like apples of gold with pictures oâ— siâ—uer Prou. 15.11 euen so is a businesse or worke done in a fit and due time She must haue a good forecast to contriue and dispatch things in due time and good order that necessaries bee not wanting when they should be vsed and confusion doe not make more labour then is needfull She must bee wise to marke the nâ—ture of her seruants and children to deale with them as their natures require for the training of them to her hand All must not bee dealt withall one way and yet many haue no way but one to deale withall and that is chiding and brauling and that they fall out vpon euery occasion which wearieth seruants and maketh often chaunges discourageth children and maketh both careles whether they doe their duties or noâ— yea it breedeth stubbornnes frowardnes and contempt in their mindes She must bee wise to marke and see what needles burthens vnnecessarie expences and losses there doe vpon occasions fall out within doores and preuent such occasions afterwards Shee must know the best waies of doing things to greatest vse with least charges Briefly she must know which way to saue a peny and lay about her to saue it for many a litle maketh a great deale She must know what is meete for seruants what for workemen and what not what is meete for ordinary and what is meete for strangers Aboue all she must know how to keepe within her compasse and yet to auoide the reproach of a pincher she must know what seruants may doe within the compasse of so much time and what is aboue their strength She must haue a diligent eye to the behauiour of her seruants what meetings and greetings what tickings and toyings and what words and countenances there be betweene men and maides least such matters being neglected there follow wantonnesse yea follie within their houses which is a great blemish to the Gouernours Painfulnes is a labour or indeuour vnto wearines to bring any thing to passe In her businesse she must be diligent and painefull Hitherto belongeth that Pro. 31.15 She riseth before day and verse 18. Her candle is not put out by night She borroweth of the morning and the euening for to dispatch her businesse When she is vp doth she sit downe and cap a stoole No shee looketh that her seruants haue their necessaries that they may goe soone to their worke she setteth her maides to worke and tasketh them to keepe them occupied yea she suffereth none to be idle in her house but either doing somewhat that is profitable or else learning somewhat that is meete for them She must not thinke to sit and commande but she must be a stirrer in euery place to oâ—ersee whether dutie bee done of all hands and that in good sort yea and to quicken the dâ—â—igence of her familie and that things may be well done shee must be at an end of euery great worke sometimes setting to her hands to encourage the doer sometimes gently teaching sometimes commending sometimes speaking faire but neuer brawling sometimes shewing what is a misse in gentle language letting them see what losse commeth by ill dooing of a thing Sometimes friendly putting them in mind how by slouth forgetfulnesse or sluttishnesse they shall get an ill name for their seruice and so become turne-awaies from euery good house She must lay a diligent eye to her household-stuffe in euery Roome that nothing be embezeled away nothing spoyled or lost for want of looking to nothing mard by ill vsage nor nothing worne out by more vsing then is needefull nothing out of place for things cast aside are deemed to be stolen and then there followeth vncharitable suspitions which breedeth much disquietnesse And though nice Dames thinke it an vnseemely thing for them to soyle their hands about any householde matters and therefore if they doe any thing it is but pricking of a clout yet the vertuous woman as Prou. 31.17 Girdeth her loynes with strength and strengthneth her armes that is she setteth her selfe painefully about some worke that is profitable for she selleth it afterward verse 24. Yea the particular worke is described Shee seekâ—th wooll and flaxe c. shee putteth her hand to the wherue and her hands handle the spindle she maketh Carpets The meaning is that she getteth some matter to worke on that shee may exercise her selfe and her familie in and it is not some idle toy to make the world gay withall but some matter of good vse Her familie is cloathed with double and her Husband is knowne in the gate hee is so comely and trimlie apparelled by her diligence at home that hee is in regarde among men and knowne where he goeth Obiection But what neede such as can liue by their lands to labour with their hands What neede had the woman that Salomon speaketh of Answer The conscience of doing good in the world should draw them to doe
to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouern her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice Thirdly to dwell with her Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence 1. Pet. 13.7 1. Cor. 7.45 honestlie soberly and chastly 1. The wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband in al such duties as properly belong to marriage Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to gods ordinance Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband Fourthly and lastly to giue him mutuall beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasiō to speake thereof Thirdly wee call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lippes alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart for if it be onely a verball promise without any wil at all and so meer hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the partie that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this and that there was no will nor vnfained meaning at all in the party neither yet is but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betrothed though hee bee not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof they maye vpon this occasion either deferre the day of marriage the longer to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise if all good meanes and occasions hauing been vsed none wil preuaile but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent there is no cause why the Parents and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases when they shall vndoubtedly knowe that the promise was altogither vnwilling and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation neither can bee by tract of time or any other good meanes vsed be bettered but rather waxeth woorse and woorse may not breake and frustrate the same For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married Gen. 24 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent yea when as they said Wee will call the maide and aske her consent do they not plainely shewe that both the law of Nature and the law of God taught them that this consent was of great moment and absolute necessitie And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women to marrie in the Lorde how can that marriage be in the Lord when the one partie doth not onely not loue but hate the other And how can such two become one flesh lawfully when as there wanteth the vnion and coniunction of the heart the true naturall mother of all marriage duties Wherefore this promise must be in this respect at least willing and voluntarie For albeit it is not necessarie neither yet possible that there should bee such great measure of true holy and sanctified loue at that time as afterward for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained it is enough and fully sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those whom God hath thus ioyned Secondly wee call it voluntarie in respect of constraint and compulsion contrarie to a free consent for if eyther partie bee vrged constrained or compelled by great feare of their Parents or others by threatning of losse of preferment of health of limme of life or of any such other like or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to the motion of good liking of their hearts This kinde of promise as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Parents themselues or by such maisters as may and ought to commaund and rule them in such cases If this were not so how could the parties keepe the commaundements of God giuing them direction whom to marrie First that they should marrie onely in the Lord. Againe that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels neither whereof they can keepe if their parents might compell them or Contract marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeelde their consent rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning drunkennesse or any other wicked and violent meanes For as that is not to marrie in the Lord so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate who is Gods Lieutenant to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their childe much more may the Magistrate denie marriage where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion and so for these causes and in this sence and meaning alone wee conclude that Contract must bee voluntarie Fourthly it must bee a mutuall promise that is either partie must make it to other not the man onely nor the woman onely but both the man and the woman though decencie and order require the man to doo it first and then the woman because hee is her head and shee his glorie and ought to leade and guide her in all things wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both but of one alone it is no true and perfect Contract And therefore may bee broken by Parentes and such as haue authoritie heerein because the partie vnpromising is not bound by word nor deede but is free insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed then for that it is any true Contract indeede But if it bee mutuall then it doth mutually and inuiolably binde both so that in this regard neither Parent Magistrate nor any other can or ought to breake it For this beeing fully performed and accomplished is one principall cause of making two one flesh in such sort as it is written Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother and shall bee ioyned to his wife and they two shall bee one flesh c. Genes 2.24 Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body nor the woman ouer hers and so to bee short hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie in no wise to bee omitted in Contract Fiftly we say it must be betweene one man and one woman Where first it is to bee noted that it may not nor ought not to bee betweene any other creatures but mankinde nay neither among brute beastes
know more particularly what sort of persons they be the holy Ghost describeth them to bee such as to whom the gift of continencie is denied yet the gift of procreation is vouchsafed and granted For if mariage as the Apostle saith Hebrewes 13. vers 4. bee honorable among all sorts of persons 1. Cor. 7.8.9 then amongst those that bee strong Againe it is written I say to the vnmaried and to widowes it is good for them if they abide euen as I doe but if they cannot abstaine let them marrie for it is better to marrie then to burne In which words wee may plainly see that hee pointeth out as with his finger those that are called and commaunded by God to marrie namely such as haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and continencie which calling and cōmandement is so much the straighter and the more to be regarded and followed because the Apostle gaue it to those persons that were molested and pressed with many and grieuous persecutions a season of all other most vnfit for any to marrie in In as much as beside the ordinarie incommodities of mariage estate it cannot but bring with it many extraordinarie grieuances and troubles Notwithstanding if such persons bee called and commaunded then to marrie when as there was most grieuous persecutions much more in the time of peace and prosperitie By this then wee see that all persons which haue not receiued the gift of abstinence but of procreation are called and commanded to marrie and therefore meete for mariage and also may lawfully enter a contract of the same But are none else meete for mariage Wee answere that no other is called commaunded or warranted by God to make contract with any of these meet ones because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage As for children vnder age they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate and therefore debarred by Gods commaundement from making any promise or contract if they haue it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance worthie great punishment and also to bee broken if that being come to yeares of discretion and state of mariage they doe not by wisedome and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attēpt to the full cōtentation of al that haue interest in them As for those that haue receiued the gift of continencie they are called and counselled to chastitie during the whole time of that gift for so saith our Sauiour Christ All men cannot receiue this thing saue they to whom it is giuen Matth. 19.12 And againe he that is able to receiue this let him receiue it So the Apostle saith It is good for them if they abide euen as I doe 1. Cor. 7.7 Againe Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife So likewise are those that are borne chaste or made chaste by men or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen But you will say what if any of these doe make a contract and marrie We answere first if they bee vtterly vnfit for marriage with one that is meete their contract is of no validitie and may bee broken by superiour authoritie 1. Cor. 7.27 but if they both bee fit for marriage wee say with the Apostle Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife but if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not and if a virgin marrie she sinneth not c. Last of all as consanguinitie and affinitie doe restraine and binde from this former contract and mariage so likewise doe naturall frigiditie and coldnes infancie incurable diseases that depriue men of all fitnes for the vse of mariage So as if any such by fraud ignorance or any other sinister means be contracted it is nothing and the parties may be lawfully separated because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord but against the Lord. And here when wee say meete and free to marrie one with an other there would bee a wise and holie regard had of the qualitie in yeares of agreement in religion of similitude in nature and maners in outward estate condition and qualitie of person and such like necessarie circumstances For what is more vnmeete then for an olde person to promise to bee contracted to a young one for an Infidell to contract with a beleeuer for a good nature and well mannered with a crooked and froward person for a Prince with a begger For although all these doe not annihilate and make voide the contract altogether yet such contracts cannot bee in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to haue taught touching the fitnes of mariage Now concerning the freedome and libertie it is cleere that those alone haue libertie and freedome to contract who haue liberty to marrie Now if we will know who those be they are diuersly described and noted in Leuit 18. where certaine degrees aswell in affinitie as in consanguinitie are expresly forbidden so that if such parties shall contract themselues together their contract is vaine and a meere nullitie such as ought to bee broken and punished Againe euery one either betrothed or married is bounden and tied from contracting with any other for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adulterie And the Apostle teacheth that the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liueth so likewise is the betrothed wife insomuch as if any of these shall contract themselues with another it is a meere nullitie and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance and ought vpon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished And thus wee see what maner of persons the Lord hath called and commaunded to marrie and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together and who not The last point is the consent and allowance of their Parents which though it be very materiall and necessarie yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true contract For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children being neither meete nor free to be maried together it were nothing and such a contract though warranted by parents consent ought to bee broken by the parties themselues and the Magistrate and both parents and children punished For this cause we haue not sayd simply and allowed but allowed so to doe because that consent of parents to such children as are meete and fit to bee maried together doth not only make that contract good true and inuiolable which wanting their consents though in other respects neuer so good is a meere nullitie and cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution and guilt of adulterie Now by Parents we vnderstand not onelie the naturall Parents but such as by the law of nature and of GOD supply their places as Grandfathers great Grandfathers Aunts great Vncles and Aunts Brethren Sisters Kinsmen and Kinswomen Magistrates and those to whose families the parties doe especially belong For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of Parents Neither may wee
This is a most despightfull kinde of speaking and doth bewray abundance of malice that was hidden in their harts euen so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife betwixt the father and the sonne betwixt the master and the seruant c. that they could speake dutifully one to an other but contempt and disdaine anger and malice will not suffer the one to affoord vnto the other their due names and titles least they should bee put in minde of those duties which these names require whereout Sathan sucketh no small aduantage whereas many times the very name of husband or wife father or sonne master or seruant c. doth greatly helpe to perswade the minde and to winne the affection yea the very mentioning of these names doe oftentimes leaue a print of dutie behinde in the conscience Husbands must not forget this point namely that it is not sufficient for them to declare and outwardly make a shew of a good life in words and precepts onely but also in life and deede so that two things are very necessarie for him to rule withall to wit wisedome and example and that he himselfe fulfill the thing that he commandeth to bee done The life and outward conuersation of a man whether it bee good or euill doth not onely perswade but also constraine and inforce We doe see how mightie and auailable this or the like exhortation of a Captaine is in the time of warre and battell Oh my souldiers doe that ye shall see me doe the which contempt of death in the Captaine doth so creepe through the whole host that there is not one be he neuer so feeble and weake hearted that doth esteeme his life for the which hee perceiueth that his Captaine careth so little for Thus did Christ with his Apostles and Martyrs draw the world vnto the Christian faith Leuit. 11.44 19.2 20.7 and 21.8 Iohn 13.15 Phil. 3.17 1. Tim. 1.16 2. Thess 3.9 For as they liued so they spake and as they spake so they liued Therfore if the husband would haue his wife to bee temperate quiet chast painful in her calling religious c. then he must be carefull that he be not distempered vnquiet no whoremonger not carelesse in his calling nor irreligious c. So that if hee commaund any thing to be done he must first looke that hee denie not to doe the same himselfe and so shall his wife and familie obey the same and to be the more readier and willinger to doe it being both honest and lawfull to bee done The very name of a wife is like the Angell which staied Abrahams hand Genes 22.11 when the stroke was comming If Dauid because hee could not expresse the commoditie and comfort of vnitie and brotherly loue was faine to say Oh how good and ioyfull a thing it is Psalm 133.1 for brethren to dwell together in vnitie Then let husbands weigh and consider how harsh and bitter a thing it is for them and their wiues to dwell together in enmitie and strife For the first yeare after marriage Deut. 24.5 God would not haue the husband goe to warre with his enemies to the end that he and his wife might learne to know one anothers conditions and qualities and so afterwards liue in godly peace and not to warre one with another and therefore God gaue and appoynted that the new married husband that yeare is to stay at home and settle his loue that he might not warre and iarre after for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre As a kingdome cannot stand if it be diuided Matth. 12.25 so a house cannot stand if it be diuided for strife is like fire which leaues nothing but dust smoke and ashes behinde it We reade in the Scriptures of masters that strooke their seruants but neuer of any that strooke his wife but rebuked her Genes 19.33 Lot was drunk whē he lay with his daughters in stead of a wife and so is he which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants The law sheweth how a bondman should be corrected but the wife is like a iudge which is ioyned in commission with her husband to correct other Wilt thou strike one in his owne house no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary to defend her from hurt and canst thou hurt thy selfe Therefore Abraham said to Lot Genes 13.8 Are wee not brethren that is may brethren iarre but they may say are wee not one can one chide with another can one fight with another Hee is a bad Oste that welcomes his guest with stripes Doth a King trample on his Crowne Salomon calleth the wife Prou. 12.4 The crowne of her husbands therefore hee which woundeth her woundeth his owne honour She is a free Citizen in thine house and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her mariage Genes 2.23 Ephes 5.19 to holde thy hands till shee release thee againe Adam saith of his spouse This is flesh of my flesh But no man saith Paul euer hated his owne flesh So then if a man aske whether he may strike his wife God saith nay thou maist not hate thy wife for no man hateth his owne flesh shewing that he should not come neere blowes but thinke his wrath too much Some husbands are wont to say that they will rule their wiues whatsoeuer they bee or howsoeuer they came by them and that it is in the hand and power of the husband what and of what qualities and conditions she shall bee True it is that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband so that he vnderstand as hee ought to doe that mariage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and friendship and that it farre differeth from tyrannie the which doth compell men to obey Truly it may force the bodie but not the will in the which all loue and amitie doth consist and stand the which if it bee drawne and forced doth resist and bow like a palme tree to the contrary part And the husband may assure himselfe that there cannot bee any quiet mariage or vnitie where hee and his wife doth not agree in will and minde the which two are the beginning and seate of al amitie and friendship And such husbands as do brag and think themselues able to rule and ouer-rule their wiues by that time they haue proceeded and gone a little further they shall well feele and perceiue themselues to bee beguiled and finde that thing to bee most hard and intricate the which to bee done they esteemed most light and easie Some husbands there be that through euill and rough handling and in threatning of their wiues haue and vse them not as wiues but as their seruants And yet surely they are but very fooles that iudge and thinke matrimonie to be a dominion For such as would be feared doe afterwards pitiouslie lament
mothers milke and straight waies after their cradle may bee nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children doe the parents liue in a maner euen after death And if they be wel instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the common wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt Haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but olde trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoote them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shafts the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children that parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesse Yea and further as arrowes are at the commādement of the owner to be vsed euen so children wel taught are at the commandement of godly parents 5. Lastly let parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another which doe not their dutie in bringing vp their children as they ought to doe First they transgresse the law of nature which telleth all men that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly Secondly Deut. 6.7 8. 4.9 11.19 Psalm 71.5 6 7 8. Iosu 4.6 they sinne against God for they despise the commaundement and authoritie of God for hee commandeth that children should bee brought vp religiously and honestly but hee is a despiser of God that refuseth to doe as he is commaunded Thirdly he offendeth against his own credit estimation Exod. 12.26.27 Luke 11 12. For Gods wil is that parents should after a sort be in his stead so farre forth as pertaineth to outward discipline But such make small account of this dignity who neglect their dutie in this behalfe Parents are further to vnderstand that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to see their children taught to pray to God and to rehearse the Apostles Creed and the ten commandements For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather bee inclined to godlinesse and reuerence toward God so as they increase in age they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne to their owne comfort and instruction to saluation Also as the tongue is called the glorie of man because that besides al other reasons by his speech hee is discerned from the brute beasts so it is meete that so soone as the childe can begin to speake his tongue should bee employed to glorifie God by calling vpon him and by learning some short Catechisme containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion as also in repeating the will of God in such sort as he wil that we should serue and honour him If parents doe note or perceiue any vice in their little ones as swearing lying choller enuie filching couetousnesse contempt of parēts readinesse to strife and other like corruptions it is their duty diligently and in time to reproue and correct thē as men vse to pluck vp weedes while they bee yet young least growing vp among the good seedes they should hinder their growth and choke them vp By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones doe lay their limmes right each in his place likewise if a childe bee giuen to bee left handed they chide him yea sometimes they binde it vp or otherwise restraine the vse of it that hee may bee accustomed to vse his right hand Also if the childe haue some string vnder his tongue they cut it least it should hinder his speech much more then ought they to beware that through their negligence the vices of the soules doe not increase for it is the dutie of parents euen in the infancie to begin to shape and frame the soule vnto vertue It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and reade for it may bee vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account then money And therefore the negligence of many is sharply to be reproued Besides that the performance of the duties herein doth greatly binde their children vnto them Neuerthelesse the principall ende thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present life but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation As also it were their parts to vse them daily to reade some chapters of the holie Scriptures thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holie Ghost by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare Therefore if parents do look that their children should obey them then let them ioyne accustome them to Gods word which will redownd much to their parents profit If they cause their children to heare reade the holie Scriptures therein they may learne Honour thy father and thy mother But if parents doe otherwise then they traine them vp in the scriptures of diuels whereout their children will learne most wicked things but it is not so when they are instructed in the holie Scriptures Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them namely to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare of GOD and in the faith of Iesus Christ Deut. 6.6.7 and 32.46 Ephes 6.4 So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age It is then great follie to linger children in the learning of vaine trifling and vnprofitable things which as they grow in yeares they will contemne and forget Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course trade or other estate wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men and verely such fathers as do neglect that are vnworthie to haue children But as the soule is more precious then the bodie so is it the dutie of parēts in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things wherewith in age euen in this life they may glorifie God and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge or bee vnwilling to take leisure to teach them yet let them doe as much for their childrens soules and
their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his household to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne Salomon to serue God Gen. 18.19 1. Chro. 28.9 Act. 10.2 2. Tim. 1 5. Parents must performe their dutie to their children moderately with great grauitie and authority Gen. 22.7.8 Pro. 4.3.4 5 6 Pro. 3.1.2 c. That is thought to be well done which is done by example 2. Sam. 13.28.29 Ezech. 16.44 Esay 24.2 Fruites are wont to take their shape and nature of the tree with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his household Likewise of Eunica the mother of Timothie that shee nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they doe amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding abominable in their doings ignorant and voyd of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If Parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must bee diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honestie themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the young learneth such a father such a sonne and such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours the bodie is commonly well affected euen so where the head or chiefe of any familie or household is religious and sound in the faith and feareth God it commonly goeth well with all the household What shall it auaile for parents to teach their children honestie modestie when they themselues in their workes and behauiour do inuite them to wantonnesse and lewdnesse Verball instruction without example of good deeds is a dead doctrine and contrariwise good examples are the life of instruction to make it profitable and effectuall If the example of parents be contrary to their instructions If we say they teach their childrē sobrietie modestie and chastitie yet thēselues will follow drunkennesse foule lasciuious speeches gestures and actions it is as if with their tongues they should say be vertuous and by the hands leade them with them to all vice and corruption So that wicked parents are wicked counsellers to their children If we would take him to bee a Monster in nature and vnworthie to liue in a Common-wealth that should counsell his childe to drunkennesse and fornication what shall wee thinke of those who committing such iniquitie do by their example much more mightily put forward their children to such abomination then by word they are able What account can those parents giue vnto GOD who by their euill example haue drawne into Hell their children whom he deliuered to their charge to be guided into heauen Albeit such parents pitie not themselues yet at last let them take pitie of their children and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction Such parents then deserue grieuously to be reproued as shall vse any lewd speeches or shamelesse behauiour in briefe any worldly or carnal actions in the presence of their children to whom their example may be as a dispensation to giue themselues to the like As also how can they forbid that in their children which they themselues do commit How can they correct them for the faults which they themselues vse Albeit children in respect and reuerence to their parents dare not reply and say that themselues doe these things for the which they reproue them yet will the neighbours or others obiect it to their shame Besides their authoritie shal be so much the lesse in that they declare in their works and actions that they allow that which they forbid in words If parents therefore desire that their instruction may be effectuall and yeeld fruit let them declare the same in holy life vertuous conuersation let them so order and gouerne themselues that their children seeing the same as it were in a glasse may bee restrained frō dishonest speech wicked deeds Let them do as guides that shew the right way ouer foordes and riuers by going before those whom they leade that their children following the steps and examples of their parents may conforme themselues to their vertues and so with them and by them be led to saluation and life euerlasting For this cause Moses gaue commandement vnto the Iewes Deut. 6.5.6.7 31.13 that the law might be kept in their families that they might prosper in al that they went about 2. Sam. 6.11 Whē Obed-edom had receiued the Arke of God into his house which signified true religion 1. King 17.10 c. 2. King 4.1 c the Lord blessed him and all his household When the widdow of Zarepthah in the dayes of Eliah and the other widdow of Israel in the dayes of Elisha had receiued the Prophets of God into their houses how mightily mercifully the Lord prouided for them who is ignorant When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health the Ruler beleeued and all his familie Iohn 4.53 Luke 19.9 After Zacheus had receiued Christ into his house and was conuerted saluation came to the same household Act. 10.44 To be short when Cornelius the Centurion embraced the Gospell his familie also beleeued and were baptized and the holy Ghost fell vpon them all which heard the preaching And how well that house was ordered 2. Tim. 1.5 3.15 where Timothie was brought vp his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witnesse And this is also a point worthie to be remembred that whereas the Lord by his Prophet Ezechiel Eze. 10.20.21 calleth the children of the Israelites which they had begotten His children because they were partakers of the promises signed with the seale of his couenant And the Prophet calleth them Psal 127.3 The inheritance of the Lord. Such parents therefore as bee Christians must know that their children are also the children of God and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour and therefore that they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe whose children they are if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare And much more if they as before time See more of this point in the Treatise of the vse and necessitie of catechising many haue done bequeath them and in a maner consecrate and sacrifice them to the seruice of men by thrusting thē into Abbeyes Munckeries Frieries Nunneries and Seminaries there to bee brought vp and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance
few prouide or bee carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewayle and much lament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckning of if they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sin and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents doe carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and s◠by good meanes to admonish and draw them from the same As parents be carefull to prouide temporal things for their childrens bodies which are transitorie so much more carefull ought they to prouide spirituall things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeeres of discretion and this is the most acceptablest seruice that they can doe to God Psal 132.1 Mat. 12.33 Children are called the fruit of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children which are their fruit For like as fruitfull fields for lacke of tillage waxe barrē or as trees being neglected eyther bring forth no fruit or else the same vnsauorie without the diligence of grafting and pruning or as dogs bee vnmeet to hunt the horse oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto euen so how sauage and vnfruitfull creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good and vertuous bringing vp To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Pro. 22.6 which is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties Reasons wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to doe it For who should teach and informe the child but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparant euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruit beasts to bring vp their yong And further this dutie is yet enforced from the oportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grewe or sprung vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soile best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children bee not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dugge you shall sooner be heard of your children then eyther the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam Gen. 5.3 and so all other after him haue beene a meane of falling to al their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue beene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this al parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer cease vntill they see in some measure the beautie of the first Image the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these doe proue Deut. 4.9 and 11.18.19 Ephes 6.4 Psal 78.5 And because this dutie of parents is many times committed to Schoolemasters to Masters of Families to Dames to Patrones and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to bee eschued are these 1. First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they bee not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a dutie and therefore they must indeuour to get so much nourture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them 2. The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelihood and necessaries for their children they care for no more 3. The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate drinke ynough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may loose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to holde them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all Parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and wel disposed to traine vppe youth in all good nourture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so oftē as conueniently they may repaire unto them and see how they profit and holde them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to bee good vnto them in this chiefe poynt aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue Pro. 18.21 so wee may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckening of their seruants then they do of their brute beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God
Let these wordes Due 6.6 7 8 9 which I commaund thee this day be in thine heart and whet them vpon thy children and speake of them when thou sittest in thy house when thou walkest in the way whē thou lyest downe and when thou risest vp c. So that it is not enough to bring thy children to bee catechised at the Church but thou must labour with them at home after a more plaine and easier manner of instruction that so they may the better profite by the publike teaching Looke Pro. 22.6 Thou euen by breeding thy children hast helped them into corruption a damnable estate how oughtest thou then by al holy care and paines taken with them in teaching them the knowledge of God in Christ helpe them out of it that they may not be firebrands of hell And for seruants seeing they spend their strength wearie out their bodies and bestow their dayes and yeeres in seeking their profit and ease oughtest not thou then to seeke the saluatiō of their soules Salomon saith the iust man hath regarde to his beast much more shouldest thou haue regard to thy seruant who is made according to the image of God with thee is redeemed with as deere a price as thou art And thy care for him should not stretch to his body alone but especially to his soule that seeing his calling will not suffer him to vse so many so often meanes for the good of it as were requisite hee might herein be helped by thee The second speciall is an acquainting them with the Scriptures by reading them dayly in thy house Reading the scriptures in their hearing and directing them to marke and make vse of those things which are plaine and easie according to their capacitie 2. Tim. 3.15 So Timothie was trained vp by his parents in the Scriptures so hat he knew them from a child that is was made acquainted with them by reading them and being instructed in them according to his capacitie This shall make them the fitter to heare and profite by the publike ministerie Whereas the neglect of this dutie makes them vnable to heare and vnderstand the Preacher when hee citeth examples or quoteth texts out of sundry places of scripture The helpe that their familie might reape by it should make them carefull in this reading of the Scripture Thirdly in looking that they profite by the publike ministerie of the word Sacraments euery one according to their capacitie and this duty requireth that they should not only looke that they do diligently frequent the preaching of the word and carefully come to the Sacraments in due time but also that they shew thē how and put them in mind of preparing themselues to the word Sacraments as Iob did his sons Prepare them to heare the word by considering Gods ordinance his promise and their own necessity c. by laying aside al such cares thoughts and affections as might hinder them frō a diligent hearing To the Sacraments prepare them by considering of Gods institution the ministerie of his Sacraments his mercie in Iesus Christ their faith their repentance their wants and so seeking assurance of grace of reconciliation comfort to come to the Lords table Againe to further their profit they must diligently examine them what they haue learned what vse they can put such doctrine also helpe and direct them wherein they faile Thus did our Sauior Christ his disciples Mat. 16.15.16.17 Besides they must call vpon them for the practise of that which they learne out of the worde that the worde grow not to a cōmon matter of no further vse but to talke of vpon the Sabboth day The fourth special duty that belongeth to instruction is that they teach them how to make vse of Gods works either past or present as of examples of his mercie and goodnes to be encouraged by them to trust in him by workes of his iustice to be moued to feare him and so to sowe the seedes of conscience and religion in them Thus did Abraham Genes 18.19 which care of his moued the Lorde to reueale his purpose to him of destroying the Sodomites The duties which they are to require of them concerning godlinesse bee to vse the publicke Ministrie carefully to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sortes and to make their vse of it to the building vp of themselues in faith and lastly to practise all holy and christian duties which beeing comprised brieflie in the ten Commaundements are more largely layd open by the publike ministrie of the word and by priuate Catechising But after what manner must they require these duties We answere not onely by telling of them what they must do and calling vpon them for the doing of it and by gentle admonition when they bee backward but also by correcting them if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practise of them This correcting is either by Rebuking or Chastising them according to the qualitie of the fault and the condition of the partie that is so to be dealt with Leuit. 19.17 2. Tim. 4.2 A rebuke is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour or knowne wickednesse of any with condemning of the same by the word of God whereby they may haue shame that others might feare Pro. 27.5 and 29.19 Correction is a sharpe thing and therefore not easilie borne of our nature which is full of selfe-loue and through the corruption of nature it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnes sturdines and naughtines where it is not wisely dealt in Now the better to minister correction with more hope of doing good by it we must consider First the end of correcting Secondly the matters which must bee corrected Thirdly the maner of correcting 1. The ende in correcting must not bee to wrecke and reuenge thine anger or malice or to reuenge thy selfe for an iniurie done nor yet alone ly the preuenting of the like hurt by the like fault afterward but in zeale of Gods glorie who is dishonoured by the lewdnes of the offender and in loue to the partie Thou must seeke by wise correction to reclaime him from such euill as bringeth danger to him and make him more careful of his dutie afterwards Herein they faile who in correcting haue no respect but to their owne commoditie 2. For the matters that deserue correction this is a rule that there must bee no rebuking much lesse chastising but where there is a fault for where any is vniustly corrected besides the iniurie it hurteth him by hardning him against iust correction for he will thinke that it is the rash hastines of his gouernour that putteth him to smart and not his owne desert By fault I meane not onely the committing of that which was forbidden but also the omitting of that good which was commaunded But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction sometime ignorance