Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A27103
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A letter of advice concerning marriage by A.B.
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A. B.
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1676
(1676)
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Wing B15; ESTC R18344
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15,432
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32
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ever reputed and found the best preservative of them from being squandred by the profuseness or forfeited by the precipitancy of Youth 6. Straitness of Fortune is generally attended with meanness of Education 7. There are no such Qualities in women as can recompense want of Portion nor any such defects as to counterpoise a vast Dowry and therefore those surmises vain 8. Such is the Lottery of Marriage through the disguises of women that the whole Advice seems fantastical true worth having no outward Mark 9. 'T is confin'd to Gentlemen of great and clear Estates who are few and therefore at best of little use 10. Even of such the greatet part marry at an age scarce capable of those Counsels being sway'd by their amorous inclinations and whatever caution is used in the Bargain yet by the insinuation of crafty Wives 't will be afterwards easily defeated 11. To redress even abuses of such prescription is a frivolous Enterprise neither will men be so dazeled with meer flourishes as not to see and pursue their solid Interests To the first 't is readily answered That all fair and deserving Ladies will I doubt not take me for their Advocate and if they smile the frowns of others shall the less concern me under that Imperial Banner I assure my self both of safety and victory To the second I cannot better reply than by referring to the several Antitheses betwixt Huswives and Gallants which together with the notorious fallacy and encumbrance of great Portions stop the mouth of this Objection To say the truth 't is with women as with Fire and Water nothing so destructive where they prevail or exceed nothing so innocent and useful in their proper limits To the third Men should act with Reason not regarding popular Censure their real welfare being of greater consequence to them than the verdict of that incompetent Jury As to their being over-reach'd may not the retaining the Dominion of their Estates abundantly salve their Credit Surely they will be so far from fearing the Censure of wise men as rather to win their applause and perhaps invite their imitation The fourth might better have been urged formerly when Widows were indeed such But if in moderate and limited Joyntures there be Errour 't is at least a safe one reparable at pleasure in case of special confidence or desert the other mischief in case of demerit being irretrievable nay the very reservation of Power in the Husband to oblige or resent is perhaps the life of his Authority To the fifth Though no humane Providence be entire and complete yet the absolute dependence of eldest Sons on their Father's bounty is the likeliest means to secure their Duty and curb their Perversness and Extravagance however let them at least own their ruine to their own not their Father's folly and if perish they must die rather like men than beasts ordained to be innocently sacrificed The sixth reflects untowardly on our Gentry who though disabled to raise Mountains for their Daughters yet oft-times recompence that want with generous and usefull Breeding such as Money perhaps cannot compass and will therefore disdain that Vulgar scandal The seventh bids defiance to common Experience which affords frequent Examples of Wives by whose Huswifery without advantage of Dowry weak and encumbred Estates even in adverse times have been notably rescued and improved but of eminent Landlords by hundreds without any visible improvidence of their own strangely undone through the Vanity of women Nay there is scarce any numerous Brood which presents not this variety even among Sisters some whereof were born for the support of Husbands others for their downfal so considerable is that Sex to the Lustre or Eclipse of Families Indeed were Wives but so just or good-natur'd as to continue their Maiden-thrift in their married State Husbands would grow but too rich The eighth reduces the matter to blind Chance disabling not only Reason but Sense Much I allow to the Artifice of Women in appearing to advantage and with such outsides forbid Minds are affected like greedy Vermine caught with slight Baits there would not otherwise be such Devotions paid to such sorry Saints But men of noble Intention are not so enchanted Real worth being to such as discernible from Affectation as fine Silver from Alchymy or true Beauty from Dawbing For the ninth I admit Gentlemen of entire Estates to be herein concern'd but not exclusively to persons of all degrees having any solid Fund of Revenue these Maxims being proportionably Universal The tenth is grounded on the presumption of inexcusable Fondness in most that marry Truly I have not of late observ'd that amorous humour to be very predominant in our Matches the other and worse Extreme of preferring a Licentious Celibate or marrying with a vicious intent being methinks in far more request Some there will ever be in whom Fortune and Folly conspire to their ruine These I abandon as Strays and Forfeits to the Lord of the Mannour where they first light but they are comparatively fools The danger of defeating Conditional Settlements seems yet more remote there being little fear of such dotage in those Husbands who had once the Prudence to make them and less encouragement one would think for Wives by such plain dealing to proclaim their design of Second Marriage The last were indeed a just Exception if herein I pretended to more than the advising my Friend The subject I confess is copious enough one might without straining argue the importance of it to the publick what price and consequently what life it would give to the languishing Virtues of Women what a Curb it would prove not only to that Sexes Vanity but to Luxury in general it being notorious that in effect all our ruinous Pomp may be charged on womens account as being either by them or for them incurred What a sumptuary Law it would prove if the extravagance of Wooings and Weddings were reduced to their simple Decorum How it would restore the Lustre of our Gentry how it would check the pride of our Money-monger chiefly founded in their greedy swallowing of his treacherous Baits How it would advance the noble interest of Land by rescuing it from the snare of cheap and prostitute Encumbrances c. But you see I trouble not the Policks leaving our Wits to dispute whether the general disallowing or limiting of Marriage portions were profitable or practicable Let others use their discretion and take their fortune you I dare say are neither Votary nor slave to Custom To conclude this tedious Epistle Marry in God's name your Ancestors deserve and require it of you who both by their Virtue rais'd a Family worthy to be continued and by their providence left you an Estate sufficient to continue nay to enlarge it Let no licentious Principle of the Age divert nor Vulgar Prejudice deter you from a state of Life for you so expedient and which for Gentlemen of your condition what ever may be surmised hath no Fetters but of their own forging Marry I say but generously and circumspectly even the most worthy or lovely person you can meet with or hear of 'T is a debt due to your Posterity that you propagate the best you can nay you owe it most of all to your self and your own welfare if somewhat must be dispensed with as in all worldly matters there certainly must let it be money since that to my knowledge you least want but for the propriety of your Estate let nothing wrest it from you and scorn that all the Bags in London should decoy you to settle it reckon it to you as sacred and essential as to Princes their Militia or Negative Vote and part no more with it than were you a Soveraign you would be bought or cajol'd tamely to resign your Sceptre For matter of Joynture use your own Latitude but limit the main of it to Widowhood or the Heir's Minority as you see cause Be not so supine as to make no provision against Power above all beware of Liquid Rents Be Captain of your own Pinnace whatever it cost you what you lose in the Hundred you will abundantly recover in the County and though you finger not a Token know 't is the best bargain you will ever drive For your general and final direction take that of the Roman Poet Veniunt à Dote Sagittae With this of the famous Epigrammatist Inferior Matrona suo sit Prisce Marito Haud aliter fiunt foemina virque pares And thus heartily wishing prosperity to your noble Resolutions I always continue SIR Your Faithful Kinsman and Servant A. B. Books Printed for and Sold by William Miller CRadock's Knowledge and Practice Quarto His Principles Octavo Richard Ward his two very useful and compendious Theological Treatises the first shewing the nature of Wit Wisdom and Folly the second describing the Nature Vse and Abuse of the Tongue and Speech whereby principally Wisdom and Folly are expressed wherein also are divers Texts of Scripture touching the respective heads explained Octavo Fettiplace's Christian Monitor earnestly and compassionately perswading sinners unto true and timely Repentance by the serious view of seven weighty Considerations Twelves Complete Bone-setter Octavo The famous Game of Chess-play Octavo Shelton's Tachygraphia Latin Octavo Emblems Divine Moral Natural and Historical expressed in Sculpture and applied to these veral Ages Occasions and Conditions of man by a person of Quality Octavo A brief Remembrancer or the right improvement of Christ's Birth-day A second Sheet of old Mr. Dod's Sayings or another Posie gathered out of Mr. Dod's Garden Hunting for Money the first part The Hunting-match for Money the second part Bishop Hall's Sayings concerning Travellers to prevent Popish and debauched Principles The whole Duty of Man containing a practical Table of the ten Commandments wherein the sins forbidden and the Duties commanded or implied are clearly discovered by famous Mr. William Perkins The Muses Fire-works on the fifth of November or the Protestant's Remembrancer of the bloody Designs of the Papists in the never-to-be-forgotten Powder-plot By the said William Miller you may be furnished with most sorts of bound or stitch'd Books as Acts of Parliament Proclamations Speeches Declarations Letters Orders Commissions Articles with other State Matters likewise Books of Divinity Church-government Sermons and most sorts of Histories Poetry Plays and such like as also Tickets for Funerals ready fitted FINIS