to their superiours equalls and inferiours in all ages times and places This is that faire Edifice whereof intimation was made before fairer then the Edifices which have formerly been erected by Xenophon in his d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Institution of Cyrus by Plutarch in his Treatise e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of training up children by Clemens Alexandrinus in his f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Instructour of children by Hierome in his Epistle to Laeta concerning the g De institutione fiâ—iae educating of her daughter by Erasmus in his Discourse h De pueris statim libe aliter instituendis of timely and liberall training up of children or by others in like Treatises This Author hath more punctually and pertinently handled all kinde of duties from ones first entrance into this world to his going out thereof then any of the fore-named Authors or any other that have written of the like subject Such varietie of matter is here couched as it will prove usefull to all of all sorts that will reade and heed it The Lord give a blessing to this and all other like labours of his faithfull servants Amen William Gouge THE CONTENTS OF THE BOOK CHAP. I. WHat the Parents dutie when it begins Gods gracious work upon the Childe framing it in the wombe and giving it its due proportion of parts what thanks therefore pag. 1. 2. How Sinne defaceth Gods Image How repaired Of Baptisme and the solemnitie thereof The Mother the Nurse to pag. 4. The Mother is most imployed about the head of the Childe my head my head saith the Childe carry him to the Mother saith the Father 2 Kings 4. 19. The Mother is charged with the head Father and Mother both with the heart and this work is for the closset pag. 4. What Infancy is called an Innocent Age but miscalled Something may be done even then for the rectifying the Childes body and his heart too Grave considerations pressing to that Dutie from pag. 5. to pag. 9. CHAP. II. CHild-hood and youth how they differ wherein they agree unhappy Ages both The period of this Age not easily defined The Parent makes it longer or shorter as their care is more or lesse pag. 10. Parents not discharged in point of care when they have charged the Schoole with their childe how vain that thought pag. 12. How preposterous the Parents care How much Father and Mother both do crosse their own ends What a point of wisdome it is well to Time our beginnings When the Seed-Time what their imployment there to pag. 15. CHAP. III. A Two-fold imployment which lyeth in the order of Nature and right reason Lets hindring this two-fold dutie two fondnesse fiercenesse extreames yet ordinarily in one and the same Parent I. Of fondnesse what causeth it Youth more profitable Child-hood more delightfull * Fructuosior est adolescentia liberorum sed Infantia dulcior Sen. epist 9. What hurt fondnesse doth The Divels murthering engine to pag. 18. Foure mightie considerations to fortifie us against it from pag. 19. to pag. 22. Three examples evidencing how destroying it is to pag. 24. Repeated concluded in Mr. Boltons words with some use of the whole to all Parents to page 26. II. Fiercenesse whose fruit it is and how much it hinders to pag. 27. It helps not to unroot evill but rather roots it more in to pag. 29. It hinders much the Implanting of good to pag. 30. Considerations which may help to calme a Parent when in heat of spirit he is about to unroot evill are three very worth his consideration to pag. 33. Considerations which may arrest a Parents hand when he is about the implanting of good are foure which being considered will command an answerable practise to pag. 35. CHAP. IIII. OVr nature like a soyle fruitfull of weeds what they are and how unrooted 1. Pride the heart-string of corruption Chrysostomes note upon it how cherished how the contrary grace may and ought to be instilled to pag. 38. 2. Frowardnesse a spice of the former The Parents dutie here how the contrary grace may be inforced to pag. 40. 3. The way of lying and the way the Parent must take to prevent the course of it a great work if it may be done if not the Childe is fit for no societie to pag. 41. 4. Idlenesse how corrupting and provoking Labour how naturall to a man how he is provoked thereunto to pag. 43. 5. A bad Malignus comes quamvis candido simplici rabiginem suam suam affricuit Sen. epist 7. companion how infectious and corrupting he will defile the best and most candid nature with his foule example pag. 44. 6. The evill of the Tongue prevented by teaching the Childe silence and this the Parent must teach himself and his Childe under five notions The briefe of that which concernes the Childes Instruction is while it is a Childe let its words be answers Nature teacheth much at this point and they more who walked by an higher light pag. 47. 7. An oath a word cloathed with death in a Childes mouth the Parent as in all so here very exemplary yea yea nay nay The Friers note upon those words No more must be heard from a Childe pag. 48. 8. The Childe must be taught what weight there is in those words yea yea c. A good hint there-from to teach the Childe to abhorre that religion which gives no weight to words nor oathes neither pag. 51. 9 10 11 12. Nick-names and abuses that way are ordinary with Children and a fruit of corrupt nature so quarrelling uncovering their nakednesse mocking scorning the meaner sort Great evills to be corrected and prevented in Children betimes a notable example to presse us thereunto to use our Inferiours kindely to pag. 53. 13. Cursing a great evill so imprecations against our selves Foure great examples full of instructions who spake rashly and were payed home in that they spake to pag. 57. 14. As Childrens Tongues must be watched over for the Tongue is a world of wickednesse so must their hands They will spill more then they eate how to teach Children to prize the good creatures pag. 59. 15. Children delight in the pain and vexation of those weake creatures that are in their power A great evill to be looked unto and prevented betimes considering our natures what they are page 61. 16. Nature fruitfull of evills more then can be pointed at or prevented but that is the true and genuine order of nature to prevent the evills thereof first pag. 62. 17. Teaching by examples the best way of teaching and the shortest they make the deepest impression pag. 64. CHAP. V. THe implanting of good the order therein The foure seasons in the day seasonable therefore 1. How uncomfortable darknesse is how comfortable the light A notable lesson there-from wherein our light and the true light differ to pag. 67. The Sun knoweth his appointed Time what that teacheth The Sun is glorious in his
servant though he may passe for a Master in the world But he may defend his sloth thus so I finde it in Chrysostome u In Ephes cap. 4. Hom. 16. Though I stand idle in the Market of the world and sleep in the harvest of the yeare yet I neither pick nor steal I neither curse nor strike my fellow servants and then I have done no hurt I am sure So the slothfull servant may say for himself he hath done no hurt Yes if thou doest no good thou doest hurt if thou art slothfull thou art wicked The husbandman hath done thee much hurt if he sate still in the Spring-time and slept in thy harvest though yet he was not drunk all that time nor did he strike nor abuse his fellow servants The mouth and the hand will do the body much hurt if they neglected those offices proper to those ends wherefore they are placed in the body though yet the one did not bite nor did the other smite or scratch the body In omitting our duty of doing good we commit much ill for Truth hath sealed hereunto That the slothfull servant is a wicked servant And so much to perswade to duty for conscience sake 2. That doing our duties to man we neglect not our duty to God That while we answer our relation we stand in as members of the body we forget not that strict bond and relation we stand unto our head This is a main point and I touch upon it here because many there are who serving their particular callings and doing their duties there think that this will hold them excused for their neglect in their generall calling as they are Christians I heare the same pleading which was of old why we cannot do this or that though of infinite concernement to our souls both yet we cannot because our callings will not admit so much vacancy or leisure what not to serve God! what leisure to serve our selves and the world and can finde none to serve Him who gave us being and a place with all conveniences in the world no leisure to serve Him These things ought we to have done in their place order and subordination to an higher thing but the other thing that one thing we should not have neglected Certainly it will be a most astonishing excuse no excuse indeed but such as will leave us speechlesse To plead the ordinance of God for our neglect in the service of God He hath designed us our severall callings that there we might the better serve and glorifie Him And if from thence we shall plead our omissions therein our excuse will be no better then if a drunkard should pleade thus for his abuse of the good Creatures If thou Lord haddest not given me my drink I had not so dishonoured thee and my self Vain man the Lord gave thee drink to refresh thee therewith and being refreshed that thou shouldest return praise to the Giver It is thy sinne and thy great condemnation that thou hast turned a blessing into a curse overcharged thy self and by thy exceeding that way hast pressed thy bountifull Lord as a cart is pressed with sheaves And let this bid us beware of our old-Fathers sinne for it was Adams the woman that thou gavest me he pleaded the ordinance of God for his walking inordinately Beware I say and let it command our watchfulnesse too for particular sinnes do adhere and stick to particular callings as close as the ivie to the wall as the stone to the timber But yet our callings shall give us no excuse for committing those sinnes or for omitting the contrary duties It is certain we shall have no excuse therefrom none at all but what will leave us speechlesse This by the way but not from my scope So much to engage our faithfulnesse in our callings and our heart still to God A word now touching our abiding in that * station or x Nè quis temerè suos fines transiliret ejusmodi vivendi genera vocationes appellavit suum ergò singulis vivendi genus est quasi statio c. Cal. Inst. lib. 3. cap. 10. sect 6. calling whereunto God hath called us Certain it is the Analogie or resemblance holds well and teacheth very much between the body naturall and the body politick Thus in the body naturall it is bloud and châ—ler contain themselves within their own proper vessels if bloud be out of the veins it causeth an Apostume if choler out of the gall it makes a jaundise all over the body So with our members if any one be out of place or doth not its proper office in its place then every one is out of quiet For the good and peace of the whole it is that every member keeps its proper place and doth the proper office belonging to that place Thus should every one do in that place where God hath appointed him in the body politick He must do those peculiar acts which are peculiar to his place from which his calling hath its denomination and is so called He that teacheth on teaching is the Apostles rule and extends it self unto all callings as an universall rule and of universall use Therefore to instance in that one calling for all which is the highest of all but gives the same rule for the lowest The office of a Pastour Bishop or Minister is to feed his flock to look to the state thereof to prepare the way of the people a Esay 62. 10. c. for that Scripture is fully and usefully explained by Tremellius This the office of Pastour or overseer to seek not yours but you to feed not themselves but their flock b See Hist of the councel of Trent 〈◊〉 2. p. 252. See pag 216. Noâ— magis de posâ—endo grege cogitan quam sutor de aâ—ando Cal Inst 4. cap. 5. sect 12 13. Those overseers then were truly taxed and charged of old that they did walk as men and did no way answer the office whereto they were called when as they saw nothing in their cures nor knew nothing of them but their rents This had been proper to him who was in office to be the Kings Rent gatherer but very impertinent to him or them whose office it was to prepare the way of the people or to prepare a people for the Lord. The conclusion is peremptory he that teacheth on teaching So likewise as we are called and as every man hath received the gift so must we minister the same one to another as good stewards of the manifold graces of God that He in all things may be glorified c 1. Pet 4. 10. As he hath received the gift I resume it again because we must well note it my gift fits me for my calling my calling for my work If I have not the gift I must not affect nor enter the calling If no calling I must not venture upon the work without a gift all will be done unskilfully without a calling disorderly without work
thirsty spirit no clothes to keep me warm no house to harbour me c. for the earth is the Lords and the fulnesse thereof I may have from man my warrant here in earth that my house is mine and my land is mine and he is a thief and a robber that taketh it from me But all the men in the world cannot give me my possession before the living God but onely his Sonne Christ who is Heire of all Then that our lands may be our own our goods our own yea and our meat ours let us be Christs that in Him we may have the good assurance of all our substance Take not thy meat but as the gift of Christ who hath sanctified it unto thee nor any thing thou hast but with thanksgiving to Christ that hath sanctified it for thee †4. And the consideration hereof should be a meanes to lift up our hearts as well as our hands and eyes to Him that spreadeth our table prevents the snare feeds us with the finest wheat when others are fed with the bread of affliction and water of affliction or if our bread be course or not that but pulse instead of bread yet He can nourish by it and make the countenance z Dan. 1. ruddy whereas the more daintie fare may tend to leannesse So the parent must teach the childe not to eat with common hands or mouth that is not before the hands be lifted up and the mouth opened to Him Who opened His hand to the parent first before the parent could open his to the childe And now onely commands a blessing and gives the bread power to nourish making it a staffe of bread both to parent and childe which must minde the parent that it is not a childes work to blesse the table but according to the ancient custome the masters duty to pray for a blessing who should best understand that all things are sanctified by the word of God and prayer And so much to raise our hearts before we take our meat towards Him who onely commands a blessing upon our meat and strengtheneth with strength in our souls Psal 138. verse 3. 5. And now that we suppose we are set down to feel and taste how good the Lord is who hath so furnished our table we must consider well what is set before us else we are as he who puts a knife to his throat a Alioquin Trem. Prov 23. 2. Lege Clem. Alex. paed lib. 2 cap. 1. saith the wiseman What meaneth he by that If we do not moderate our selves in a sober temperate use of the Creatures as men not given to our appetites we do then turn that which was ordained to maintain life and to refresh the spirits the clean contrary way as a meanes to destroy life and to suppresse and damp the spirits which is a great provocation for thereby we fight against God with His own blessings and against our selves with our own weapons and so are as they who instead of putting their hands to their mouthes to feed them put both to their throat to cut it For by intemperance this way in meat and drink by feeding without fear we transgresse the set bounds b Chrysostomes observation touching the use of wine is very usefull for it telleth us the use of all the creatures given for our nourishment wine glads the heart there you have the use of it saith he gladding and refreshing is the very bound and lâ—mit set unto us in the use of the creatures if we transgresse that bound we abuse them 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ad Rom. 15. Hom. 28. ω. and our heart thereby is made as heavy as a stone our spirits quite flat and dead whence the proverb is An intemperate man digs his grave with his fingers so that although life be within him yet his body is his prison and the grave of Gods mercies and his life serves him to little other purpose then to dishonour that God who hath provided so bountifully for him And this kinde of intemperance I mean this lifting up the heel in our full pasture and exalting the heart this unkinde requitall of the Lord puts man that reasonable creature one degree below the c 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Tom. 5. de Lazâ—ro concio 1. unreasonable The ox the horse and the asse These saith the Father usefully when they are fed go on their way carrying their burdens and performing their service but man so overchargeth himself that his meat proves his burden if not this surfeit and makes him unfit to return any service but such as sheweth him to be a debter onely to the flesh which indeed we must nourish that it may be serviceable but further we owe it neither suit nor service Think then how ill we do requite the Lord when fed by Him we spurn against Him loaded with His mercies we load Him with our sinnes refreshed with His comforts we grieve His Spirit by a contrary and unsavorie walking Here then is a fit place and season to teach and learn abstinence one of those vertues so much commended and that may help much to the learning of the other patience so I invert the order d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Epiâ—t Aul Gell lib. 17. cap. 19. He that hath gotten command over himself at his Table in moderating his appetite and can deny himself what his stomach eagerly craves will be able to command himself in great matters and bear hard things It is unseemly for a man the Lord over the creatures to be brought under the power of the creature and if he would not which is his wisdome he must consider as well what is expedient as what is lawfull e 1. Cor. 6. 12. And so he teacheth his childe by his own example as well as by precept and much better and now is his season for abstinence is best taught and learnt at the first and no where better then at our meat f Comeditur quantum ad famem bibitur quantum satis pudicis castis sunt omnia quasi comed rint biberint disciplinam Tert. in Apoll cap. â—9 It is Mr Perkinâ— g On Gal 5. 2â— p. 181. rule That man must deny his desires at the table he musâ— command himself there as one under his own power and not under the power of the creatures if he look to be able to deny goods good-namâ— wife children selfe and all All which must be parted with when they stand in competition with the truth else we lose our selves These are sweet bits indeed and he that cannot deny himself his sweet biâ—s at his table wtll very hardly h 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Mark 8. 34. deny himself in these If a man must needs swallow that bit bâ—câ—use it is sweet and that cup of wine because it is pleasant if he hath so farre lost the command over himself that this he must needs do when yet his stomach needs it not It is
childe can say and left it farre in her books so farre that it can never get out death only cancells that bond The parent and the childe can never cut scores or strike tallyes for they can never lye even And so much that thou mayest honour thy Mother for then thou art as a Ecclus. 3. 4. one that layeth up a blessing Mark that for by the rule of contraries he that dishonours the Mother is as one that layeth up a curse Honour thy Mother and forget it not †2. Thy Father too look to it thou dost not set light by A se migrat ab homine totus transit in bestiam paternae pietatis immemor gratiae genitoris oblitus Chrysol de prodigo Ser. 2. him so thou dost do iâ— thou dost set light by his admonitions For that is a sinne which calleth down a curse from the Almightie And though I should not plead my right and thy dutie yet the Lord would do both Nay if I should pray against the curse as God forbid I should forbeare to do yet would it according to Gods ordinary dispensation certainly fall the arme of flesh being too short to keep it off He is the God of Recompences He looks up on the breach of that sacred band betwixt parents and children â— Si gravaris auscullare parentibus esto dicto audiens carnifici quod si neque huic obedire sustines obedito 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Catachis Lutâ— and will require it That which Luther speaks is very notable and may winne much upon a stubborn childe if any thing will If thy neck be so stiffe that thou wilt not bow nor bend nor relent by all the perswasions entreaties of thy parents then expect that the Executioner shall bend thee If thou wilt not heare what thy parents say for thy instruction thou art like to heare what the Hangman saith for thy cutting off and destruction b Prov. 17. 11. Carnifex Trem. Ephes 6. 1. Sicut post Deuâ— dâ—ligere parentes pietas est sic plus quà m Deum impietas Chrysost in Mat. Lat. tantum Hom. 26. A cruell messenger shall be sent to a Son of rebellion If thou wilt not put thy necke under the yoke thy parents would put upon thee which is no other but what God enjoyneth and for thy good annexing a large blessing thereunto If thou wilt not submit to this easie and sweet yoke In the Lord for this is right thou must then submit to an iron yoke in putting thy neck into the executioners halter for that is but just So Doctor Lu. speaks in our plain English and addes thereto That the experience of all Ages have evidenced the Truth thereof And for the yet clearer evidensing the same This I adde further I have been young and am not farre from being old but never saw I a dutifull childe that went away without his blessing nor a childe stubborn and undutifull to prosper a Hist of the World 2. 13. 5. pag. 361. The debts of crueltie and mercy are never left unsatisfied saith one in another case we may say the same in this case Disobedience to parents ever receives its due punishment No lesse then a thousand witnesses give in cleare evidence hereunto and it is worth our giving our eare unto them and our eye also For therefore are judgements wrought in the earth that they might be had in continuall remembrance like a great mountain still in the Travellers Eye It was written for our Instruction That he who rose up against his father left behinde him no other then an heape of stones a monument of his shame and a pillar the onely 2 Sam 18. 17 18. memoriall of his name Examples there are an heape of them of more fresh and bleeding memory which I shall passe over and recall to minde Times further off and give instance only in two who because they are very great examples examples are rules and yeeld us the shortest plainest and most certaine Instruction being persons of the highest ranke and qualitie are I conceive the fuller of use to those of the meanest The first is concerning Robert Duke of Normandy eldest sonne to William the first of England so famous for his conquest there This sonne was stain'd saith my Author with this only fault Disobedience to his father if I forget not he tooke up Armes against him thrice and once un hors'd his father and wounded him in his arme ignorantly saith the Author not knowing him to be his father for when he did he hasted to remount him humbly craving pardon this now requires our mark This Roberts younger brothers S. Daniel p. 41. succeeded in their Fathers Throne William the second and Henry the first Robert puts hard for the Crown against King Henry his youngest Brother and obtains the payment of three thousand Marks by the yeer and the reversion of the Crowne a succession in his Brothers Throne in case he survived Thus they capitulated and on these termes they stood for the present Robert safe in Normandy and Henry in England But contentions betwixt brothers and betwixt them for a Crown are like the Barrs of a Castle once two never one again Quickly after the fire of contention raked under cold Embers burnt out again betwixt the two brothers Kings love not to know their heire unlesse he come out of their own bowels and consumed divers worthy men in a mightie battell whereby England won Normandy and one the same day such are the turnings in humane affaires whereon fortie yeers before Normandy overcame England And here Robert who stood in a faire possibilitie of two Crowns of England and Ierusalem was deprived of his hopes there in both places and of his Dutchy also of all he had But there ended not his Tragedy Out of Normandy he was brought prisoner into England and committed to the Castle of Cardiffe where to adde to his misery he had the misfortune of a long life surviving after he had lost himselfe twentie six yeers whereof the most part he saw not having his eyes put out whereby he was only left to his thoughts A punishment barbarously inflicted on him for attempting an escape but wherein we may see the righteous Acts of God withering those armes which were reached forth against the hands which embrac'd him in his swadling clothes as the old Father speaks to his Andronicus See Turkish Story pag. 158. and suffering those eyes to be pickt out that set so light by him out of whose loynes he descended Gods ludgements are as the great deepe and we are too shallow to conceive of them but what lyeth on the top or surface as it were we may take for our use and that we have heard The next is concerning Edward the third of England He stept over his Fathers head to his Throne That was not the Sons fault saith the Author for he had the Crown by resignation from his Father But Crowns are
us in and allotted us unto But assuredly that excuse shall leave us speechlesse though we thinke every thing will be of weight sufficient to have us excused yet we shall find it but a meere conceit nothing is of weight sufficient to excuse from the doing of duty k First part p 174. it shall not be an excuse for the man to say Lord I had done my duty as thou commandest but that Thou gavest me a scoffing Michal nor shall it serve the wife to say Lord I had done my part had I not been yoaked to a Nabal The man failing in his dutie shall not hold the wife excused for her failing in hers If the man leades ill the woman must not follow ill it was a good answer to an abusing and an over-bearing commander Doe you what you will I will doe what I ought l 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The head hath an head All things shall be done as you will have it but you must command as God will have it The wife looseth her fathers name and must forget her fathers house but she must not forget her Lords charge nor her vow in Baptisme nor the name was called upon her then Her head hath an Head and therefore she must say to her husband as Ignatius to the Priest All things shall be done as you will have it but then you must command as God will have it m Ignatius to a Priest Chrys Tom. 6. in vet â— Princip p. 10. Charrun The husband must command in the Lord and so must be obeyed if otherwise yet he must not put out the eyes of his wife she hath a light to guide her besides her husbands false rule The husbands exorbitancy from his rule will be a crosse and no small one a block in the wives way and a very clog hindering that she cannot walke on with speed alacrity and comfort but is so farre from warranting the wives aberration from the way God commands to walke in that it the more binds and engageth her unto it her bond is rather the straighter as her praise will be the more And this we must still note Not to obey as we should is more dangerous to society then not to command as we should though they shall not be unpunished that are carelesse in either being both the fountaine of all humaine society If the wife must stand alone so farre from an helper that her husband is an hinderer then she stands single and charged but with her single duty I and my maidens saith a woman a Queene that had attendants answerable to her state yet she would seeke God in His owne way so should her maydens too n Esther 4. 16. indeed she lived apart and therefore might much better maintaine her authority It is not easie to maintaine it there either over maidens or children where the husband in presence will foolishly and unworthily contradict or slight the same But however the wife must doe her duty I and my children I and my maidens Ester is a cleare patterne who lived apart from her Lord. And if that comes not so home Ahigals carriage is exemplary who was very unequally yoaked But now for I cannot passe over this point lightly that the husband and the wife may draw even though the yoake seeme to be or indeed is uneven let them consider the husband first Let him remember that houre when the father gave his daughter to him for then the father gave his daughter out of his own hands from under the tender-eye of the mother so intrusting her unto his right-hand she leaves her deare parents and their house that sweet society and commuâ—ion there she forsakes all these so well relishing comforts which she found in her parents house nay she forsakes her selfe for she looseth her name that is the propriety in her selfe And what imports all this saith Chrysostome o Epist ad Cor. Hom 26. ω. but that the husband should now be to her instead of all those as a carefull father as a tender mother as her dearest brother as her sweetest sister as her only selfe that in him she may find her selfe againe In a word the father giving his daughter implies and expects thus much that his daughter shall now find all those comforts sum'd up in her husband in him the Abridgement and Epitome of all All this will be remembred if he remember that time when his wife was intrusted to his right hand And the wife must remember also that at that very time she engaged her word that she would reverence her husband as a father honour him as her Lord observe his eye as her mothers tender him as she can her dearest brother or sweetest sister that she will be unto him as an haven so the father speakes that when her husband comes home perhaps in some storme as few men there are that from within or from without find not winds enough to cause it yet then and at such a time he may find an haven at home all calme there If the wife remembers that time she must remember that to all this she stands bound by a most solemne promise And thus the husband and wife both may learne and looke to their proper duty That the husband love the wife the wife honour the husband O beware for this is a nice and tender point beware lest we blow that coale which will sparkle and quickly kindle a flame foresee and prevent all occasions which may make the least difference or smallest division betwixt the man and his wife for the breach will be quickly great like the Sea p Lam. 2. 23. who can heale it And then that which should have beene as an haven will be a Tempestuous Sea For when there is difference betwixt the man and the woman the house fares no better saith Chrysostome q In epist ad Cor. Hom. 19. ω then the Ship doth in a storme when the Master and the Pilot fall to pieces now if the agreement be not made quickly and the difference accorded the Ship will fall to pieces upon the Rocke And so much touching the joynt duty of man and wife and that though the yoake seeme unequall yet they may draw even and that in case the one faile in duty it is no excuse for the failing of both how both are instructed and from what time Other duties there are but they have beene already intimated in the first part What may more particularly concern thy self child whose instruction I specially intend now briefely followeth Every estate is subject to grievances more specially the married To speak briefly of them and as briefly to give some provision against them I rank them under two heads feare of evills future sense of evills present Touching both these the only troublers of our life and peace some few directions 1. There is but one thing which is evill indeed which truly and properly is the troubler of our peace and quiet But one