Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
duty_n	child_n	parent_n	reverence_n	2,346	5	9.8318	5	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A66844	The gentlewomans companion; or, A guide to the female sex containing directions of behaviour, in all places, companies, relations, and conditions, from their childhood down to old age: viz. As, children to parents. Scholars to governours. Single to servants. Virgins to suitors. Married to husbands. Huswifes to the house Mistresses to servants. Mothers to children. Widows to the world Prudent to all. With letters and discourses upon all occasions. Whereunto is added, a guide for cook-maids, dairy-maids, chamber-maids, and all others that go to service. The whole being an exact rule for the female sex in general. By Hannah Woolley.	Woolley, Hannah, fl. 1670.; Faithorne, William, 1616-1691, engraver.	1673 (1673)	Wing W3276A; ESTC R204109	139,140	297

done your obeisance to your Parents and the company then present Keep your Clothes from greasing by pinning or keeping your napkin tite about you and receive what is given you thankfully Be not talkative at Table nay nor do not speak unless you are askt a question Eat not your meat greedily nor fill your mouth too full and empty your mouth before you drink and avoid smacking in your eating Grease not your fingers as those that are slovenly up to the knuckles You will show your self too saucy by calling for sawce or any dainty thing Forbear putting both hands to your mouth at onee nor gnaw your meat but cut it handsomely and eat sparingly Let your nose and hands be always kept clean When you have dined or supt rise from the table and carry your trencher or plate with you doing your obeisance to the company and then attend in the room till the rest rise In the intervals of School-time let your recreation be pleasant and civil not rude and boisterous Sit not before your betters unless you are so desired and unless you are at meat working or writing Be no make-bate between your Parents and their servants tell not a lye in any case nor mince it into a plausible excuse to save you from the hand of correction Going to bed make no noise that may disturb any of the Family but more especially your Parents and before you betake your self to rest commit your self into the hands of the Almighty desiring his infinite Majesty not only to watch over you in the night but preserve you for and assist you in the duties of the ensuing day If the Poor beg at your Father's door though you cannot your self supply his necessities yet you may do it by perswading your Father or Mother which may be the sooner induced to it by observing your early and forward inclination toCharity Get that Catechism the Government has made choice of for you by heart by the practice of which you will be enabled to perform your duty to God and man Behave your self in the Church reverently giving an awful regard to what sacred truths the Minister shall deliver for your future observation and practice and do not proclaim publickly to the whole Congregation your levity and vanity by laughing talking pointing with your finger and nodding or your careless contempt of Gods word by drowsiness or sleeping Do not despise the aged but rather honour them for their antiquity and indeed you have but little reason to contemn old people if you consider this that you will be old if God shall think fit to continue your days to the length of theirs and therefore would not be so serv'd your self God inable you to observe and practice what I have here already laid down and give you yielding hearts to the exercise of what shall hereafter follow to the glory of God the unspeakable comfort of your Friends and eternal salvation of your immortal Souls Thus I have given you general instructions as to your learning and deportment Give me now leave to insist in particular on the duty you owe your Parents The duty of Children to their Parents THE duties of a Child Male or Female to Parents may be branch'd out into these particulars Reverence Love Obedience especially in Marriage assisting them in their wants nay all these considered as a due debt to the worst of Parents You ought in the first place to behave your self towards them with reverence respect humility and observance and although their infirmities may tempt you into a contempt of them yet you must not despise them in your behaviour nor let your heart entertain an undervaluing thought What infirmities they have you must endeavour to cover and conceal like Shem and Japhet who whilst cursed Cham endeavoured to disclose the nakedness of their Father to publick view they privately covered from the sight of others that which they debarr'd their own eyes to look upon It is a great fault in our days and too frequently practised for youth not only to deride the imperfections of their Parents but forge and pretend more than they have that their counsel and correction may seem rather the effect of weakness than good judgment in the punishing their Childrens errors They think they then best express their wit when they can most flout and abuse grave Counsel Let such if they will not practise the exhortations yet remember the threatnings of the wisest of men Prov. 30. 17. The eye that mocketh his Father and despiseth to obey his Mother the Ravens of the Valley shall pick it out and the young Eagles shall eat it Thus as your behaviour ought to be respectful to them so ought you to shew them all the demonstrations of love imaginable striving to do them all the good you can and shunning all the occasions of their disquiet This you are obliged unto by common gratitude for they were not only the instruments of bringing you into the world but of sustaining and supporting you afterwards if you could but rightly weigh the fears and cares that are required in the bringing up a Child you would judg your love to be but a moderate return in compensation thereof This love is to be exprest several ways First in all kindness of behaviour carrying your self not only with awe and respect but with kindness and affection which will encourage you to do those things they affect and make you avoid what may grieve and afflict them Secondly This love is to be exprest in praying for them The debt a Child owes her Parents is so great that she can never make satisfaction unless she call God to her aid and assistance by beseeching him to multiply his blessings on them Do not for any temporal benefit or to be freed from the severity of thy Parents wish their death God in the Old Testament hath denounced death and destruction to the Curser of his Parents and therefore certainly will not let thy ill wishes towards them go unpunished certainly they who watch for the death of their Parents may untimely meet with their own The third duty we owe them is Obedience this is not only contained in the fifth Commandment but injoined in many other places of Scripture This obedience extends no farther than to lawful things otherwise it is disobedience and offends against a higher duty even that you owe to God your Heavenly Father How little this duty is regarded daily experience makes evident the careful Mother having her child no longer under her command than under the rod. Wherefore think not though grown up to Womans estate that you are freed from obedience and let not your motive thereunto be out of worldly prudence fearing to displease your Parents lest they should diminish your intended portion and so be a loser thereby but let your obedience be grounded upon conscience of duty But of all the acts of Disobedience that of Marrying against the consent of Parents is the highest Children are so much

right Education of the Female Sex as it is in a manner every where neglected so it ought to be generally lamented Most in this depraved later Age think a Woman learned and wise enough if she can distinguish her Husbands Bed from anothers Certainly Mans Soul cannot boast of a more sublime Original than ours they had equally their efflux from the same eternal Immensity and therefore capable of the same improvement by good Education Vain man is apt to think we were meerly intended for the Worlds propagation and to keep its humane inhabitants sweet and clean but by their leaves had we the same Literature he would find our brains as fruitful as our bodies Hence I am induced to believe we are debar'd from the knowledg of humane learning lest our pregnant Wits should rival the towring conceits of our insulting Lords and Masters Pardon the Severity of this expression since I intend not thereby to infuse bitter rebellion into the sweet blood of Females for know I would have all such as are enter'd into the honourable state of Matrimony to be loyal and loving Subjects to their lawful though lording Husbands I cannot but complain of and must condemn the great negligence of Parents in letting the fertile ground of their Daughters lie fallow yet send the barren Noddles of their Sons to the University where they stay for no other purpose than to fill their empty Sconces with idle notions to make a noise in the Country Pagans of old may teach our Christian Parents a new lesson Edesia an Infidel taught her Daughters Learning and Morality Cornelia hers with the Greek Tongue piety Portia hers with the learning of the Egyptians the exemplary grounds of Chastity Sulpitia hers with the knowledg of several Languages the precepts of conjugal Unity These though Ethnicks were excellent informers of youth so that their Children were more bound to them for their breeding than bearing nurturing than nursing Emulation of goodness is most commendable and though you cannot hang up the pictures of these worthy persons so that their memories may live with you however imitate their Virtues that their memories may live fresher in you All memorials being materials be they never so durable are subject to frailty only the precious monuments of Virtue survive time and breathe eternity Thus as ye take good example from others be ye Mother-patterns of Virtue to your Daughters Let your living actions be lines of their direction While they are under your command the error is yours not theirs if they go astray Their honour should be one of the cheifest things you are to tender neither can it be blemish'd without some soil to your own credit I have known some inconsiderate Mothers and those none of the lowest rank and quality who either out of the confidence of their Daughters good carriage or drawn with the hopes of some rich Suitors to advance their Marriage have usually given too free way to opportunity which brought upon their Daughters name a spreading infamy Suffer not then those who partake of your image to lose their best beauty Look then to your own actions these must inform them look to your own examples these must confirm them Without you they cannot perish with you they may What will you do with the rest that is left when you see a part of your self lost There is no instruction more moving than the example of your living By that line of yours they are to conform their own Take heed then lest the damp of your own life extinguish the light of your Childrens As you are a kind Mother to them be a careful Monitor about them and if your business will permit teach them your self with their letters good manners For there is an in-bred filial fear in Children to their Parents which will beget in them more attention in hearing and retention in holding what they hear But if it be inconsistent with your conveniency and that you must commit the Tutelage and education of your Children to a Governess give me leave to inform you what she ought to be The duty and qualifications of a Governess to Gentlemens Children THey who undertake the difficult Employ of being an Instructress or Governess of Children should be persons of no mean birth and breeding civil in deportment and of an extraordinary winning and pleasing conversation They should not be harsh in expression nor severe in correcting such as are under their charge but instruct them with all mildness cheerfully incouraging them in what they are injoin'd to perform not suddenly striking nor startling them with a loud rebuke which causeth in some an aversness to what they should love imbittering all the former delight they had in learning Whereas if you woo them with soft words you will soon find them won by the testimony of their good works There is so much servility in rigor and restraint that of consequence there can be no greater enemy to Ingenuity and good nature Fools are to be always bauld upon and blows are fitter for beasts than rational creatures wherefore there can nothing more engage an ingenious generous soul than cheerfulness and liberty not over-frightned I have often observed the many ill consequences which attends an unadvised severity A Gentlewoman of my acquaintance who was well born and bred and every way accomplisht for a Tutoress to young Ladies lost all her employment in that faulty by her irresistible passion Another in Dorsetshire being somewhat aged and suspecting her strength was not able to grapple with active youth call'd up her maid to her assistance with whose help she so cruelly chastised a young Gentlewoman for some fault she had committed that with grief and shame she died in a little time after Many more instances I could insert but I shall forbear to publish further the shame of such inconsiderate rashness As I must condemn the insolent severity of such a Governess so I must not let pass without reproof the tyranny of some Mothers whose presence makes their Children tremble without the commission of a fault by which means they many times with their imperiousness frighten their love into an abhorrency of their fight to be sure they make them tell many a lye to excuse their negligence which otherwise they would not do only that for that time they might escape the rigor of their punishment Yet I would not have any mistake me in my perswading young Gentlewomen to be used mildly and tenderly that I intend thereby their over-indulgence so as to let their tender age rust in sloth and vanity all that I would have a Mother do is that she would be moderate in the correction of an offence lest by correcting one she commit another and so transgress that positive command in holy Writ Parents provoke not your children to wrath A Governess is to study diligently the nature disposition and inclination of those she is to teach and so by suiting their humours make their study the more facile by how

the benefits of the tythe of the ensuing Accomplishments These ten years and upwards I have studied how to repair their loss of time by making publick those gifts which God hath bestow'd upon me To be useful in our Generation is partly the intent of our Creation I shall then arrive to the top of the Pyramid of my Contentment if any shall profit by this following Discourse If any question the truth of what I can perform their trial of me I doubt not but will convince their infidelity The things I pretend greatest skill in are all works wrought with a Needle all Transparent works Shell-work Moss-work also cutting of Prints and adorning Rooms or Cabinets or Stands with them All kinds of Beugle-works upon Wyers or otherwise All manner of pretty toyes for Closets Rocks made with Shells or in Sweets Frames for Looking-glasses Pictures or the like Feathers of Crewel for the corner of Beds Preserving all kind of Sweet-meats wet and dry Setting out of Banquets Making Salves Oyntments Waters Cordials healing any wounds not desperately dangerous Knowledg in discerning the Symptomes of most Diseases and giving such remedies as are fit in such cases All manner of Cookery Writing and Arithmetick Washing black or white Sarsnets Making sweet Powders for the Hair or to lay among Linnen All these and several things beside too tedious here to relate I shall be ready to impart to those who are desirous to learn Now to the intent I may increase your wonder I shall relate how I came to the knowledg of what I prosess When I was fourteen years old I began to consider how I might improve my time to the best advantage not knowing at that age any thing but what reason and fancy dictated to me Before I was Fifteen I was intrusted to keep a little School and was the sole Mistress thereof This course of life I continued till the age of Seventeen when my extraordinary parts appear'd more splendid in the eyes of a Noble Lady in this Kingdom than really they deserv'd who praising my works with the appellation of curious pieces of Art was infinitely pleas'd therewith But understanding withall that I understood indifferently the smooth Italian and could sing dance and play on several sorts of Musical Instruments she took me from my School and greedily entertained me in her house as Governess of her only Daughter Unto this honourable Person I am indebted for the basis or ground-work of my Preserving and Cookery by my observation of what she order'd to be done By this Ladies means I came acquainted with the Court with a deportment suitable thereunto The death of this Lady gave me a fit opportunity to be entertain'd by another no way inferiour to the former with whom I lived seven years At first I was Governess to those of her Children whose forward virtue sufficiently declared the goodness of the stock from whence they came Time and my Ladies good opinion of me constituted me afterwards her Woman her Stewardess and her Scribe or Secretary By which means I appear'd as a person of no mean authority in the Family I kept an exact account of what was spent in the house And as I profited in Externals so I treasured up things necessary for my understanding having an happy opportunity so to do nor only by hearing that ingenious and agreeable discourse interfac'd between my Lady and Persons of Honour but also by inditing all her Letters in the framing and well fashioning of which that I might increase my Ladies esteem I took indefatigable pains there were not any who both wittily and wisely had publisht their Epistles to view of the world whom I had not read and on all occasions did consult those which I placed in my greatest esteem were the Letters of Mr. Ford Mr. Howel Mr. Loveday and Monsieur Voiture But that which most of all increast my knowledg was my daily reading to my Lady Poems of all sorts and Plays teaching me as I read where to place my accents how to arise and fall my voice where lay the emphasis of the expression Romances of the best sort she took great delight in and being very well verst in the propriety of the French Tongue there was not any thing published by the Virtuosi of France which carefully and chargably she procur'd not this put me upon the understanding of that Language she was so well experienc'd therein which is as great an Ornament for young Ladies as those learned Tongues of which the Academical studioso boasts a more than common understanding Here as I learned hourly courtly phrases and graces so how to express my self with the attendency of a becoming air And as I gather'd how to manage my tongue gracefully and discreetly so I thought it irrequisite to let my hands to lye idle I exercised them daily in carving at Table And when any sad accident required their help in Physick and Chyrurgery I was ready to be assisting in those two excellent arts in this place I acquired a competent knowledg In short time I be came skilful and stayed enough to order an house and all Offices belonging to it and gained so great an esteem among the Nobility and Gentry of two Counties that I was necessitated to yield to the importunity of one I dearly lov'd that I might free my self from the tedious caresses of a many more In the time I was a Wife I had frequent occasions to make use of all or most of my aforenamed qualities and what I exercised not within my own roof I used among my neighbours friends and acquaintants That which qualified me as a Governess for Children as well as any thing yet I have mention'd was the great knowledg I had in the humours inclinations and dispositions of Children having often had at one time above threescore in number under my tuition Besides as I have been the Mistress of many Servants so I have qualified them with my instructions to be Mistress to others the major part of them living very comfortably in a married condition As I have taken great pains for an honest livelihood so the hand of the Almighty hath exercised me in all manner of Afflictions by death of Parents when very young by loss of Husband Children Friends Estate very much sickness by which I was disenabled from my Employment Having already given you an account of the duty and requisite endowments which ought to be in a Governess and how qualified I was my self in that troublesome conccrn I shall now proceed in giving young Ladies such Rules which long experience and observation hath taught me which may be as their perfect guide in all ages and conditions the practice whereof will assuredly imbalm their names here let their stedfast faith in Jesus Christ only crown them with glory hereafter Good Instructions for a young Gentlewoman from the age of Six to Sixteen I Shall suppose your Parents have not been so remiss in their duties as not to furnish your tender age

the Goods and Chattels of a Parent that they cannot without a kind of theft give themselves away without the allowance of those that have the right in them and therefore we see under the Law the Maid that had made any Vow was not suffer'd to perform it without the consent of the Patent Numb 30. 5. The right of the Parent was thought of force enough to cancel and make void the obligation even of a vow and therefore surely it ought to be so much considered by us to keep us from making any such whereby that right is infringed A fourth duty is To minister to and assist your Parents in what ever necessities or infirmities God Almighty shall think fit to inflict upon them It may be thy Parent is weak or decay'd in understanding supply his or her wants according to thy ability since in thy infancy thou didst receive the same benefits from them When an infant you had neither strength to support nor understanding to guide your self but was supply'd with both by your indulgent Parents wherefore common gratitude when either of these becomes their case obligeth you to return the same offices back again to them And as for the relieving their Poverty there is the same obligation with the former it being but just to sustain those who had maintain'd thee How then shall those answer it who will not part with or circumscribe their own excesses and superfluities for the relief of such to whom they owe their being and well-being and worse it will be with those who out of pride deny their Parents being themselves exalted fearing lest the lowness of their condition should betray the meanness of their birth Lastly that I may conclude this Discourse assure your self That no unkindness fault or poverty of a Parent can excuse or acquit a child from this duty Although the gratitude due to a kind Parent be a forcible motive to make the child pay his duty yet though our Parent were ever so unnatural yet still we are to perform our duty though none of that tye of gratitude lie on us Take this for all Honour and obey thy natural Parents in what condition soever for if they cannot give thee riches yet thy Heavenly Father hath promised thee length of days Of a young Gentlewomans deportment to her Governess and Servants in the Family IF your Parents have committed you to the care and tuition of a Governess in the house with you think with your self that this person whom I must now call my Governess is one whom my Father and Mother have elected and entertain'd for my education to lessen their own trouble but not their tender care of me Therefore if I obey her not in all things requisite I transgress the commands of my loving Parents and displease God in abusing their kindness Next consider within your self that this person who is constituted the guide of my actions is such a one as they are confident either in their own judgments or those who have recommended her to be fit in all points to perform this charge committed to her therefore in obedience to them I must and will obey her and follow those good examples and precepts she shall lay down for my better information If she seem somewhat harsh reserv'd and abridgeth your freedom yet let not your green years be too forward in condemning her nor let not the ill counsel of inferior servants perswade you against her lest by so doing you betray your want of reason and good nature and detract from your Parents worthy care for you If you have just cause of complaint yet speak not maliciously against her but truly and opportunely impart your grief by this means she will be either removed from you or regulated by their commands Be sure therefore that your complaints be just lest you should have one in her stead who may more justly deserve your censure and so make your self unhappy by your Parents fears of having a child that is refractory Besides think thus with your self that too often complaining makes dull and careless the Auditor and instead of extracting compassion it creates a jealousie of an ill disposition If your Governess be a Woman in years honour her the more if young you may promise your self more freedom with her yet if I may advise I would not have a person too young to have such a charge for they will have sufficient to do to govern themselves therefore the more unfit to govern others besides youth will be the more easily induced to submit rather to their Elders than their Equals What I now declare is the fruit of experience having had too great a charge in this nature when I was very young and do know how defective I was then in my duty since I became a Mother of Children having now more tenderness to youth and can speak it knowingly that a mild moderate way is to be preferred before rigor and harshness and that correction of words is better than that of blows Give me leave Gentlewomen to wish you a good Governess not such a one as I have been but as I could or would be now I can now with a greater sense look back upon my faults than I could discern them when first committed Thus much to your Governess Now to your Maid who is to dress you Be not peevish or froward to her but sweetly accept her endeavours and gently admonish her of her neglects or errors if she be good natur'd and willing to please this carriage will oblige and command a constant diligence from her otherwise you will cause her to serve you only for her own ends and with an eye-service and whilst you are making a wry face in the Glass she will make another behind your back Be courteous to all the Servants belonging to your Parents but not over-familiar with any of them lest they grow rude and sawcy with you and indeed too much familiarity is not good with any for contempt is commonly the product thereof If you can do any Servant good in any thing either in mitigating your Parents anger towards them or presenting their humble petition for them be not slack in so doing for by this means you will purchase to your self both love and honour If any poor body sue to you to beg in their names that which is not unfit for them to ask do not deny them and God will not deny you your requests Do good to all and turn not your face away from the indigent but let your charity extend to their relief and succour Be courteous to all people inferior to your quality but in such a way that they may know you understand your self and this will be a sweet kind of commanding reverence from them and will give you the character of a good and humble spirit assure your self it is better to be good than great Majesty mixt with modesty and humility forcibly commands the service of all but pride and imperiousness though in

and down you will lose your credit It may be a fellow-servant may court you but before you entertain the motion consider how you must live by inconsiderately marrying you may have one joyful meeting and ever after a sorrowful living and have time to repent of your rash matching Instructions for all Nursery-Maids in Noble Families YOu ought to be naturally inclined to love young Children or else you will soon discover your unfitness to manage that charge you must be neat and cleanly about them and careful to keep good hours for them Get their Breakfasts and Suppers in good and convenient time let them not sit too long but walk them often up and down especially those who cannot go well of themselves take heed they get no falls by your carelesness for by such means many the cause at first being unperceivable have afterwards grown irrecoverably lame or crooked wherefore if any such thing should happen conceal it not though you may justly incur a great deal of blame therefore I knew a Gentlewoman absolutely spoil'd by such a concealment her Nurse by negligence let her fall being very young from a Table and by the fall her thigh-bone was dislocated the Nurse fearing the indignation and displeasure of the Childs Parents who were rich and potent conceal'd it a long time under the pretence of some other indisposition endeavouring in the mean time the reducing of the bone to its proper place but by reason of an interposition of a Jelly between the dislocations it could not be done and then when it was too late the Parents were acquainted with the sad condition of their beloved Child and hereupon all means imaginable used for its recovery but all in vain although they had been at some hundreds of pounds charge for the cure She is now as lovely a young Gentlewoman as a ravisht eye can feast upon but it would break the heart of that body the eye belongs unto to see her go her back-side-walking would force a man from her to the Indies and yet her face would attract him to her twice as far But to my purpose be not churlish or dogged to them but merry and pleasant and contrive and invent pretty pastimes agreeable to their age keep their linnen and other things always mended and suffer them not to run too fast to decay Do not shew a partiality in your love to any of them for that dejects the rest Be careful to hear them read if it be imposed upon you and be not too hasty with them have a special care how you behave your self before them neither speaking nor acting misbecomingly lest your bad example prove the subject of their imitation Instructions for all Chamber-maids to Gentlewomen in City and Country FRom you it will be required that you wash and starch very well both Tiffanies Lawns Points and Laces and that you can mend what is amiss in them That you work Needle-work well and all sorts of Plain-work or any other work with the Needle which is used in such Houses That you wash black and white Sarsnets that you dress well and diligently perform what you are commanded by your Mistress be neat in your Habit modest in your Carriage silent when she is angry willing to please quick and neat handed about what you have to do You must know how to make all manner of Spoon-meats to raise Paste to dress Meat well though not often required thereunto both of Fish and Flesh to make Sauces garnish Dishes make all sorts of Pickles to see that every thing be served in well and handsomely to the Table in due time and to wait with a graceful decorum at the Table if need should require Keep your Mistresses Chamber clean and lay up every thing in its due place you ought to be skilful in buying any thing in the Market if you be intrusted therewith these things will be expected from you in those Houses where there is no Head-cook If there be no Butler you must see all things decent and fitting in the Parlour and Dining-room In a word you must divest your Mistress from all the care you can giving to her a just and true account of what moneys you lay out shewing your self thrifty in all your disbursements be careful in overlooking inferior servants that they waste nothing which belongs to your Master and Mistress If you are thus qualified and be of an humble and good disposition your merit will deserve a good Sallary and a great deal of love and respect If you have not these accomplishments endeavour their procuration by sparing some money from superfluous expence and over-gaudy clothes for to see a Maid finely trickt up having a fine show without and not one good qualification within is like a jointed Bartholomew-Baby bought for no other use than to be look'd upon Instructions for Nursery-Maids to Gentlewomen both in London or elsewhere LEt me advise you first to consider the charge you take in hand and not to desire it as too many do because it is an easie kind of life void of labour and pains-taking thinking also that Children are easily pleas'd with any thing I can assure you the contrary for it is a troublesome employment and the charge is of greater weight than such vainly imagine You ought in the first place to be of a gentle and good disposition sober in your Carriage neat in your Apparel not sluggish nor heavy-headed but watchful and careful in the night-season for fear any of the Children should be ill and keep due hours for their up-rising and going to bed Take special care that they eat nothing which may over-charge their Stomacks If you observe their Faces at any time paler than ordinary or complain of pain in their Stomack conclude it is the Worms that troubles them and therefore give them remedies suitable to the distemper do this often whether you see those Symtoms or no the neglect of which hath been the destruction of many hopeful Children Keep them whatever you do sweet and clean and moderately warm teach them some good forms of prayer and to read as they are capable restrain them from drinking too much Wine strong Liquors and eating over-much Fruit. Be loving and chearful with them not humping or beating them as many do contrary to the knowledg and pleasure of their Parents That Mother is very un wife that will give liberty to Servants to strike her Children and that Servant is over-sawcy and ill natur'd who dares do it without her Mistresses privity and consent This is your duty and unless you can and will do this never undertake this charge Instructions for such who desire to be absolute Cook-maids in good and great houses IT is a common thing now-adays for Cook-maids to ask great Wages although they are conscious to themselves of their inability of performing almost any thing which as it is unconscionable so to do so in the end it will prove disgraceful to them I shall therefore tell you

THE Gentlewomans Companion OR A GUIDE TO THE Female Sex CONTAINING Directions of Behaviour in all Places Companies Relations and Conditions from their Childhood down to Old Age VIZ. As Children to Parents Scholars to Governours Single to Servants Virgins to Suitors Married to Husbands Huswifes to the House Mistresses to Servants Mothers to Children Widows to the World Prudent to all With LETTERS and DISCOURSES upon all Occasions Whereunto is added A Guide for Cook-maids Dairy-maids Chamber-maids and all others that go to Service The whole being an exact Rule for the Female Sex in General By Hannah Woolley LONDON Printed by A. Maxwell for Dorman Nowman at the Kings-Arms in the Poultry 1673. To all Young Ladies Gentlewomen and all Maidens whatever I Have formerly sent forth amongst you two little Books the first called The Ladies Directory the other The Cooks Guide Both which have found very good Acceptance It is near Seven years since I began to write this Book at the desire of the Book-seller and earnest intreaties of very many worthy Friends unto whom I owe more than I can do for them And when I considered the great need of such a Book as might be a Universal Companion and Guide to the Female Sex in all Relations Companies Conditions and states of Life even from Child-hood down to Old-age and from the Lady at the Court to the Cook-maid in the Country I was at length prevailed upon to do it and the rather because I knew not of any Book in any Language that hath done the like Indeed many excellent Authors there be who have wrote excellent well of some particular Subjects herein treated of But as there is not one of them hath written upon all of them so there are some things treated of in this Book that I have not met with in any Language but are the Product of my Thirty years Observations and Experience I will not deny but I have made some use of that Excellent Book The Queens Closet May's Cookery The Ladies Companion my own Directory and Guide Also the second part of Youths Behaviour and what other Books I thought pertinent and proper to make up a Compleat Book that might have a Universal Usefulness and to that end I did not only make use of them but also of all others especially those that have been lately writ in the French and Italian Languages For as the things treated of are many and various so were my Helps I hope the Reader will not think it much that as the famous Lymner when he drew the Picture of an exact Beauty made use of an Eye from one of a Mouth from another and so cull'd what was rare in all others that he might present them all in one entire piece of Workmanship and Frame So I when I was to write of Physick and Chyrurgery have consulted all Books I could meet with in that kind to compleat my own Experiences If any shall wonder why I have been so large upon it I must tell them I look upon the end of Life to be Usefulness nor know I wherein our Sex can be more useful in their Generation than in having a competent skill in Physick and Chyrurgery a competent Estate to distribute it and a Heart willing thereunto The like Apology I have for my Prolixity about Cookery and Carving which being essential to a true Houswife I thought it best to dwell most upon that which they cannot dwell without unless they design to render themselves insignificant not only in the world but in those Families where they are As for what concerns Gentlewomens Behaviour I have the concurrent advice and directions of the most able Professors and Teachers both here and beyond the Seas yet durst not be so airy and leight in my Treatise about Ladies Love and Courtship as some of the French Authors have been but have taken out of them what I found most taking with our English Gentry The like I may say for Habits and Gesture I am not ignorant of the vanity of some Mens stiles upon these Subjects and that young Ladies are too apt to take what may gratifie their Fancies and leave what may better their Judgments about true Behaviour I know I may be censured by many for undertaking this great Design in presenting to all of our Sex a compleat Directory and that which contains several Sciences deeming it a Work for a Solomon who could give an account from the Cedar to the Hysop I have therefore in my Apology to the Bookseller declared how I came to be of Ability to do it reciting to him the grounds of my knowledg in all those Sciences I profess and also what practice and experience I have had in the World lest any should think I speak more than I am able to perform I doubt not but judicious persons will esteem this Essay of mine when they have read the Book and weighed it well and if so I shall the less trouble my self what the ignorant do or say I have now done my Task and shall leave it to your candid Judgments and Improvement your Acceptation will much encourage London Nov. 10. 1672. Your Most humble Servant Hannah Woolly THE TABLE INtroduction Page 1. The duty and qualification of a Governess to Gentlewomens Children 4. A short account of the Life and Abilities of the Authoress of this Book 10. Good Instructions for a young Gentlewoman from the age of Six to Sixteen 15. Advice to the Female younger sort 17. The duty of Children to their Parents 21. Of a young Gentlewomans deportment to her Governess and Servants in the Family 25. What Qualifications best become and are most suitable to a Gentlewoman 29. Of a Gentlewomans Civil Behaviour to all sorts of People in all places 33. Of the Gait or Gesture 37. Of the Government of the Eye 39. Of Speech and Complement 41. Choice and general Rules for a Gentlewomans observation in Conversation with Company 43. Rules to be observed in walking with persons of bonour and how you ought to behave your self in congratulating and condoling them 53. Of Habit and the neatness and propriety thereof of Fashions and their ridiculous apish Imitation 54. Of New Fashions 62. Of young Gentlewomens fit hours and times for their recreations and pleasures and how to govern themselves therein 81. What Recreations and Pleasures are most fitting and proper for young Gentlewomen 83. Of the guiding of a Ladies love and fancy 87. The Gentlewomans Mirrour or Patterns for their imitation of such famous Women who have been eminent in Piety and Learning 98. Of Marriage and the duty of a Wife to her Husband 103. Of Womens Behaviour to their Servants and what is to be required of them in the House or what thereunto apppertains 109. Ferms for Carving all sorts of Meat at Table 113. Quaint Directions for the Carving all manner of Fowl 114. Artichoaks Fried 117. Artichoaks stewed ibid. An Almond-Pudding ibid. An Almond-Pudding in Guts ibid. An Almond-Tart 118. Almond-Cream

yet she fears her Shepherd should not spy her Whatever you do be not induced to marry one you have either abhorrency or loathing to for it is neither affluence of estate potency of friends nor highness of descent can allay the insufferable grief of a loathed bed Wherefore Gentlewomen to the intent you may shew your selves discreetest in that which requires your discreetion most discuss with your selves the parity of love and the quality of your Lover ever reflecting on those best endowments which render him worthy or unworthy of your greatest estimation A discreet eye will not be taken only with a proportionable body or smooth countenance it is not the rind but the mind that is her Loadstone Justina a Roman Maid no less nobly descended than notably accomplished exclaimed much against her too rigid fate in being married to one more rich than wise And good reason had she being untimely made by his groundless jealousie a sad tragick spectacle of misery For the whiteness of her neck was an object which begot in him a slender argument of suspect which he seconded with rash revenge Let deliberation then be the Scale wherein you may weigh love with an equal poize There are many high consequent-circumstances which a discreet Woman will not only discourse but discuss before she enter into that hazzardous though honourable state of Marriage Disparity in descent fortunes friends do often beget a distraction in the mind Disparity of years breeds dislike obscurity of descent begets contempt and inequality of fortunes discontent If you marry one very young bear with his youth till riper experience bring him to a better understanding Let your usage be more easie than to wean him from what he affects by extremity Youth will have his swing time will reclaim and discretion will bring him home at last So conform your self to him as to confirm your love in him and undoubtedly this conjugal duty mixt with affability will compleatly conquer the moroseness of his temper If he be old let his age beget in you the greater reverence his words shall be as so many aged and time improved precepts to inform you his actions as so many directions to guide you his kind rebukes as so many friendly admonitions to reclaim you his Bed you must so honour as not to let an unchast thought defile it his Counsel so keep as not to trust it in any others breast be a staff in his age to support him and an hand upon all occasions to help him If he be rich this shall not or must not make you proud but let your desire be that you both employ it to the best advantage Communicate to the Needy that your Wealth may make you truly happy That is a miserable Wealth which starves the Owner I have heard of one worth scores of thousands of pounds who bought billets not for fewel but luggage not to burn them and so warm himself but to carry them on a frosty morning up stairs and down and so heat himself by that labouring exercise Wherefore let me perswade you to enjoy your own and so shun baseness reserve a provident care for your own and so avoid profuseness Is your Husband fallen to poverty let his poor condition make you rich there is certainly no want where there wants no content It is a common saying That as Poverty goes in at one door Love goes out at the other and love without harbour falls into a cold and aguish distemper let this never direct your thoughts let your affection counterpoize all afflictions No adversity should divide you from him if your vowed faith hath individually tyed you to him Thus if you expostulate your Christian constant resolves shall make you fortunate If your fancy be on grounded deliberation it will promise you such good success as your Marriage-days shall never fear the bitter encounter of untimely repentance nor the cureless anguish of an afflicted conscience Now as I would have you Gentlewomen to be slow in entertaining so be most constant in retaining Lovers or Favourites are not to be worn like Favers now near your bosom or about your wrist and presently out of all request Which to prevent entertain none so near your heart whom you observe to harbour in his breast something that may deserve your hate Carefully avoid the acquaintance of Strangers and neither affect variety nor glory in the multiplicity of your Suitors For there is no greater argument of mutability add leightness Constant you cannot be where you profess if change you do affect Have a care vows deliberately advised and religiously grounded are not to be slighted or dispensed with Before any such things are made sift him if you can find any bran in him task him before you tye your self to take him And when your desires are drawn to this period become so taken with the love of your Choice as to interpret all his actions in the best sense this will make one Soul rule two hearts and one heart dwell in two bodies Before you arrive to this honourable condition all wanton fancy you must lay aside for it will never promise you good success since the effect cannot be good where the object is evil Wanton love hath a thousand devices to purchase a minutes penitential pleasure Her eye looks and by that the sense of her mind is averted her ear hears and by it the intention of the heart is perverted her smell breathes and by it her good thoughts are hindred her mouth speaks and by it others are deceived by touch her heat of desire upon every small occasion is stirred never did Orlando rage more for his Angelica than these Utopian Lovers for their imaginary shadows These exorbitancies we must endeavour to remedy and that therein we may use the method of art we must first remove the cause and the effect will follow Let me then discover the incendiaries of this disorderly passion next the effects arising from them and lastly their cure or remedy The original grounds of this wanton fancy or wandring phrenzie are included in these two lines Sloth Words Books Eyes Consorts and luscious fare The lures of lust and stains of honour are For the first sententious Seneca saith He had rather be exposed to the utmost extremities Fortune can inflict on him than subject himself to Slotb and Sensuality For it is this only which maketh of Men Women of Women Beasts and of Beasts Monsters Secondly Words corrupt the Disposition they set an edg or gloss on depraved liberty making that member offend most when it should be imployed in profiting most Thirdly Books treating of leight Subjects are Nurseries of wantonness remove them timely from you if they ever had entertainment by you lest like the Snake in the Fable they annoy you Fourthly Eyes are those windows by which death enters Eve looked on the fruit before she coveted coveting she tasted and tasting she perished place them then on those objects whose real beauty make take them