THE House-holders HELPE For Domesticall Discipline OR A Familiar Conference of House-hold instruction and correction fit for the godly gouernment of Christian FAMILIES Dedicated to all religious House-holders by R. R. Minister of Gods Word REVEL 3. 19. As many as I loue I rebuke and chasten be zealous therefore and repent Printed at London by George Purslowe for Iohn Budge and are to be solde at the great South dore of Paules and at Brittaines Bursse 1615. To all Religious house-holders their Children and seruants the sauing knowledge of Gods holy Word most heartily wished IN the first Chapter of the Prouerbs of Salomon it is written thus in the eight and ninth verses My son heare the instruction of thy father and forget not the lawe of thy mother for they shall be an ornament of grace vnto thy head and chaines about thy necke From which words may be drawne a double doctrine First that all godly Parents should teach and instruct their children in the Lawe of the LORD Secondly that their children should learne obey their wholsome instruction For the first wee haue both practice and precept therof in the sacred Scriptures the practice in Dauid who 1 The practise of godly Parents in teaching their children taught Salomon his sonne saying And thou Salomon my sonne know thou the God of thy father and serue him with a perfect heart and with a willing minde 1. Chron. 28. 9. Salomon also sayth that his father Dauid taught him and sayd vnto him Keepe my commandements and liue Get wisedome get vnderstanding c. Prou. 4. 4. This was the practice alwaies not onely of godly fathers but also of godly mothers So did King Lemuels mother she taught her sonne lessons of chastitie of temperance of defending the afflicted of choosing vsing and commending a vertuous wife as appeareth throughout the 31. Chapter of the Prouerbes and in this first Chapter thereof in the eight and ninth verses Salomon presupposeth that al godly mothers will bee helpers to their husbands in the religious and godly instruction 2 Precepts of this dutie requiring it of Parents of their children Secondly wee haue in the Scriptures plentifull store of precepts requiring this duty of all godly Parents As Deut. 4. 10. Deut. 6. 6. 7. Deut. 11. 19. Psalm 78. 5. 6. Prou. 22. 6. In which place last mentioned Salomon sayth Teach a child in the way that he should goe and when hee is old he will not depart from it And Ephes 6. 4. Fathers prouoke not your children vnto wrath but bring them vp in nurture and information of the Lord. Thirdly there are many reasons and 3 Reasons to perswade Parents to performe the foresayd duty motiues in the sacred Scriptures to perswade all godly Parents to the performance of this dutie which I will hereafter in another place more largely relate meane time remember O Christian Parents and looke backe to Salomons motiue 1 By the practice thereof they shall make them vertuous and gracious adorn them and dignifie them yea inrich thē and aduance thē in this text Prou. 1. 8. 9. to wit that Parents shall by the blessing of God vpon their good instruction make their children religious and vertuous as God promiseth Prou. 22. 6. Yea they shall thereby adorne them and dignifie them inrich them and make them honourable and gracious both with God and men vvhich Salomon also meaneth when hee sayth that Their instructions shall bee an ornament of grace about their head and chaines about their necke Contrariwise dost thou neglect this 2 By neglect of it they make them most miserable poore naked loathsome and odious both to God and men dutie of instructing them then dost thou make them most miserable poore filthie naked and deformed yea most lothsome and odious both to God and men as were the Laodiceans by their blindnesse Reuel 3. 17. 18. and Elye his sonnes by their profanenesse 1. Sam. 2. 12. 17. Yea assuredly it may bee sayd of thee that through thy negligence thou makest thy Children as Aaron did the people Euen naked vnto their shame Exod. 32. 25. yea and vnto thine owne shame and ruine for euer without repentance Remember Elyes downfall and his sonnes though Ely were an elect because hee did not continually admonish them and duely correct them he admonished them earnestly for a fit 1. Sam. 2. 23. but not constantly say some neither did he correct and chastise them accordingly 1. Sam. 3. 13. But hereof wee haue neerer examples euen at home for if wee cast our eyes vpon the World wee may by dayly experience see that such Children as are left vnto themselues without Discipline they shame themselues and their Parents and liue in all outragious euils in Swearing Besselling Whoring Mocking Lying Murmuring Sabbath-breaking stealing c. till at length they come to fearefull ends accusing then their Parents neglect of discipline who drew them to destruction as the Dragon drew downe the Stars with his tayle Reuel 12. 4. Remember O Parents that your 3 The necessity and equity of this duty to bee performed by Parents Children haue receiued corruption from you by naturall birth and by conception hauing therefore polluted them you should be carefull to purge them they are conceiued you know in sinne and shapen in iniquitie Psal 51. 5. They are by naturall birth as all others are The Children of wrath and condemnation Ephe. 2. 3. O therefore let Christian equity and pittie mooue you to vse all good meanes that they may bee gotten againe by the seede of regeneration 1. Pet. 1. 23. To which purpose prepare them for the spirituall seede by catechizing them and when it is sown in them endeuour by dayly admonition and good instruction to harrow it and to roote it into their hearts in so doing 4 A farther inlarging of the vtility and benefit of good instruction by specifiing some particulars of it whereas they are by naturall birth onely carnall Ioh. 3. 6. and fleshly hauing not the Spirit Iude 5. 19. and so doe resemble Sathan and are his Image you shall cause them to become spirituall and so to resemble God himselfe Iohn 4. 24. and to become the Image of God Colos 3. 8. 9. Ephe. 4. 23. 24. That seede of Regeneration sowne in their soules wil keepe and preserue them from the dominion and power of sinne so that they shall not sinne as do others 1. Thes 5. 6. and Cant. 5. 2. nor as Sathan and his sonnes doe sinne in a constant course nor to condemnation Rom. 8. 1. because Gods seede remaineth in them and because they are borne of GOD 1. Iohn 3. 8. 9. Lastly by that seede of Regeneration once receiued they are made Immortall as the seede it selfe is which is therefore called Immortall seede 1. Pet. 1. 23. 24. 25. because it makes them Immortall and to liue for euer which doe receiue it Iohn 5. 24. Marcus Aurelius speaking sometimes to such as were to teach his
willing for their owne credit and profit to heare and obey their Parents instructions Thirdly let Masters for the like respect of Gods Commandement and their owne commoditie in making them to serue themselues in the LORD be diligent to catechize instruct and admonish them accordingly THE House-holders Helpe FOR Domesticall Discipline OR A familiar conference concerning Christian instruction and correction fit for Godly Families The first conference betwixt a gracious Gentleman and his eldest sonne and heyre concerning house-hold instruction omitted FATHER SOnne I haue sent for you as Iob sent for his sonnes who though his sonnes dwelt apart from him and had houses and Families of their owne yet hee sent and called them home to his house to giue them needfull a Fathers are to admonish their childrē thogh they dwell apart from them and haue Families of their owne admonition Iob. 1. 4. 5. Verses SONNE GOod Father I thanke GOD for that your Christian care of me and according to my dutie I will be willing and glad to receiue any good instruction from you FATHER I Desire to haue some religious conference with you and to admonish you concerning b The subiect or matter of the whole cōference concerneth domesticall Discipline domesticall Discipline For I haue heard that your Familie is not c The occasion of this first cōference catechized admonished nor corrected according as formerly it was wont to be by your wife when you are from home and which more is I heare that your selfe doe oft-times fayle in the foresayd duties when you are at home Is it so my Sonne is it so SONNE GOod Father with shame and sorrow for it I doe confesse it to bee so wee are much subiect to Spirituall idlenesse and to Worldly carefulnesse I pray God giue vs pardon of and power against these sinnes FATHER I Am sorte my Sonne I am very sorry for d Parents should bee greeued at their childrens vngodlinesse and pray for their reformation you I pray God forgiue you and amend these euill manners in you I perceiue by your teares and speeches that you are humble-minded and you do well to confesse your sinnes and to craue pardon of them and power against them e Wee should prayas earnestly for power against sin as for pardon of sin as Dauid did Psal 19. 13. And as Christ directs vs all to doe Mat. 6. 12. 13. Consider also my sonne that vnlesse you do as well forsake your sinnes as confesse your sinnes you haue no promise of the pardon of them Pro. 28. 13. 14. Esay 55. 7. nay pardon is denied to them that go on in their sinnes f Pardō of sin is denied to them which continue in sinne and their destruction is denounced Deut. 29. 20. Psal 68. 21. in which places you may also see that vnauoidable destruction shall seize vpon all such SONNE O My Father my hearts desire is not to loue sinne nor to liue in sinne but to loath and to leaue all sinne shew mee I beseech you by what meanes I may subdue and ouermaster these my predominant sinnes these so strong and mighty gyants FATHER IF you desire to ouercome these strong corruptions these mighty Champions g The meanes to ouercome our strongest corruptions and our predominant sins you must be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might wrestle stoutly and constantly encounter with them Ephe. 6. 10. you haue hitherto let the spirituall sword too much rust in the sheath if you had often drawne that spirituall sword and skilfully with courage and constancy resisted Sathan with it as you are willed Ephe. 6. 10. c. verse 16. 17. 18. Sathan would haue fled as God hath promised Iames 4. 8. Ephe. 6. 16. and as Christ for our consolation and direction hath shewed Mathew 4. 11. Now therefore you must bee better armed with more courage and constancy against the next encounter meane time you must iudge your selfe that you may h The meanes to preuent future iudgements is to iudge our selues before they come preuent future iudgments 1. Cor. 11. 31. SONNE VVHat I pray you is it and how are we to endeuour it to iudge our selues aright FATHER AS a temporall Iudge doth first examine the malefactors and their euils done what how many how great c. and then proceeds to punish so must wee in iudging our selues i The degrees of iudging aright first examining our selues what how many and how great euils wee haue committed next wee must proceede to a spirituall iudgment censure punishment by arraigning our Soules and Spirits with indignation inditing them of high treason and rebellion against GOD at the Tribunall seate of God Thirdly wee must put vp supplication with strong cries in the name of Christ for pardon of sinne past and power against sinne to come Fourthly wee must curbe and correct our selues euen corporally and externally taking reuenge of our selues for our former faults 2. Cor. 7. 12. by watchings fastings and by restraining our selues from many lawfull delights Ioel 2. 16. Fiftly wee must crosse our corrupt courses by contrary courses opposite to our former vices Dan. 4. 24. for as the rule is Contraria contrarijs curantur Contraries are cured by their contraries And lastly if afterwards all these meanes being vsed you be againe and againe ouercome with these corruptions yet cease not to encounter bid battell alway vnto them and with greater force afresh resist them considering that true Christians haue alwaies crucified the flesh Gal. 5. 24. and doe dayly mortifie their earthly members in regard of that glorious life that they looke for Col. Bernard Si labor teterret merces inuitet 3. 4. 5. Iob. 31. 2. SONNE DEare Father this your counsell and comfort is as sweetnesse to my Soule and as healing to the bones that are broken Pro. 16. 24. FATHER GIue eare then againe and I will yet go on in this argument of iudging punishing and correcting your selfe vpon often relapse and falles into one and the same offence which if you doe you shall preuent both temporall and eternall iudgements of sinne and in time ouercome the sinne it selfe of what sort or how great soeuer the sinne bee with which you are l The vtility of iudging our selues in war SONNE O But yet some sinnes are much more stronger then that I can weake wretch that I am euer bee able to ouercome them of which sort are those I feare me aforementioned FATHER O Nay say not so my Sonne haue you euer aforetime ouercome lesser sinnes yea I doe know you haue you say you haue ouercome rash anger swearing c. why then marke what comfort from thence you may conceiue vnto your Soule m Comforts to encounter with our strongest corruptions hee that can ouer-uercome rash anger wrath pride lust or any other like Is stronger then hee that ouercomes a Citie Pro. 16. 23. Saint Iames doth affirme that the toung is an
lye sweare murmure curse mocke raile c. then presently thereupon examine and shew them by the book what Commandement they breake and when any duty to God or men is omitted examine and shew them by the book what precept they offend against teaching thē to expresse the sense in other words that you may know they vnderstand the meaning and teaching them not onely by the booke but also by liuely voyce and spéech Thus to teach them I say vpon occasion the vse and experience of that they haue learned will as I haue by tryall perceiued both helpe their capacitie confirme their memorie and worke vpon their affections the more effectually SONNE AFter this course of catechizing continued daily in the Weeke dayes what other order of instruction would you wish chiefely to be continued vpon the Sabbath day FATHER I Would wish you alwaies vpon the Lords day d Conference concerning Sabbath dayes instruction to be vsed thē in each reformed family to examine all your Family in those things which are euery day taught them on the Sabbath by your Minister who is a godly learned and a zealous Preacher and examine them so that you may know how euery one doth marke and remember what things were taught and how they were confirmed and applied e The carelesnes of common Christians of luke-warm Laodiceans and Protestāts at large which abound in this our age and are euen glutted with heauenly Manna Many men are exceeding carelesse herein for where almost is one among many that questioneth with his seruants about Religion at all It may be sometimes saith one that they will send thē to the Church but when they returne what doe they aske them of their learning or profiting there vnlesse perhaps once at the hundreds end hée vouchsafe to know the Chapter and the Verse of the Text which betwixt the Church doore home euen a Parrot would be taught to pronounce Let such send any of their people vpon some worldly businesse and they will be sure to aske his seruant how hee sped and nothing will he leaue vnasked to vnderstand the effect of the arrand hee sent him about but for Gods businesse and Soule matters be they performed negligently or not done at all it mattereth not And almost all men doe now content Note this themselues with a flight examination hence is it that their sonnes and seruants can neither shew the summe and diuision of the Text nor what doctrines were drawne from it much lesse how they were confimed and in the vse applied but onely they bring certaine words and sentences or similitudes not vnderstanding the purpose whereto any thing was spoken by the Preacher I Note this would wish you therefore I say to examine your Children and seruants with such diligent care that you may know how euery one doth marke and remember what things were taught and how euery doctrine was confirmed and applied and where any one faileth let the next that standeth in order by him shew and teach him when all haue brought out their store and shewed their best endeuour to make repetition then you your selfe are also to helpe them therein by a diligent repetition confirming and applying to your whole Familie and to your owne heart and affections Note this all the doctrines that were deliuered which I would wish you to doe with all Godly zeale and feruencie forthwith and immediatly after your comming from Church before you receiue your bodily foode SONNE VVHere that course is continued Obiect men are commonly accounted Puritans and we that haue vsed it haue beene much derided scorned and mocked for it and many men you know in the Countrey doe call it and terme it a priuate Preaching and do not cease to say that therein wee shew our selues to bee more precise then wise what say you of such scorners FATHER FIrst I say that though such estéeme Answere wisedome it selfe to bee but foolishnesse and folly yet are they themselues the onely fooles by Gods account Who scorneth the scorner Pro. 3. 34. and saith that fooles despise wisedome and instruction Pro. 1. 7. Secondly I say therefore that such as would bee wise must not sit in the seate of scorners nor be daunted with such scorning though it bee a persecuting Gal. 4. 24. Heb. 11. 36. Thirdly because such men account this course to be a nouelty and seeme to yeeld much vnto Antiquitie I would wish them to consider well Saint Austens censure who saith That euery Paterfamilias concionator est in domo sua iuxta Augustini sententiam dicentis quod concioator est in suggestu hoc quilibet paterfamilias in domo sua Householder should bee the same in his owne house as the Preacher is in the Pulpit or in Gods house That is that hée should diligently teach and instruct his houshold as Abraham did who commanded his houshold to doe iustice and iudgement Gen. 18. 19. And as the Mother of Lemuel did Pro. 31 2. 3. who by their sedulitie and earnestnesse in teaching did set as it were an edge vpon their doctrine in applying it to the affections of their hearers that it might moue much their minds pierce deepe into their hard and stonie hearts Now the same that they did you and euery Householder is commanded to do Deut. 6. 6. 7. where the Hebrew reading is Thou shalt whet these words on thy Children and agreeable thereto is that Heb. 10. 24. 25. Let vs whet one another as it is in the Greeke pointing at and noting by that metaphor of Whetting our spirituall dulnesse which like blunt tooles haue need to be whetted by dayly teaching and admonishing Heb. 3. 13. SONNE I Perceiue by the former places that such as are Parents and gouernors of Families should not be like Luke-warme Laodiceans whom the Lord Iesus willeth to repent Reuel 3. 14. 19. For none indeed doe truely repent till they be feruent saith one for feruencie or zeale is an effect of true repentance 2. Cor. 7. 11. I perceiue also by the former places that not onely minsters but also all Christians should be zealous according to that general precept Be feruent in Spirit seruing the LORD Rom. 12. 11. And that therefore they should set an edge vpon their admonitions and instructions is not that your meaning sir FATHER YEs assuredly for it is the very life of good doctrine to moue affection much beeing well applyed without which it is but like a plaster kept in a pocket and not applied to the place infected A Similitude SONNE SIth then in teaching it is so needfull to moue affection shew me I pray you some helpes and meanes to make my houshold admonitions and instructions powerfull to worke vpon the affections of my Family FATHER TWo things are needfull in teaching to mooue affection much First feruency Secondly constancy Teach therfore and instruct your Family with feeling and with feruency in particular in reprouing such as are audacious and