ought to come to pass So that we can never have our Mind well at Rest Our very Sleep the usual retreat of all the Labours of the Mind by its extravagant Visions and Dreams Frights us with terrible Apprehensions and Inquietudes What we have now mentioned of Superstition minds me of a Scruple of some of the Antients who blamed the old Philosophers of their time who countenanced the superstitious Ceremonies of Religion tho in their Heart and Mind they did not approve of them which practice of theirs seems to be contrary to the sincerity and uprightness of the Profession of a Philosopher 'T is true saith our Author speaking of Epicurus and endeavouring in some respect to excuse him upon that Account That Sincerity in Actions as well as in Words is commendable but what shall we say if we consider a Man out of the true Religion in which we ought to have a perfect Conformity in Thoughts Words and Deeds At that time it seems to be the Duty of Wisdom and of Philosophy not to think as the common People but yet to speak and act as they do Epicurus was present at the superstitious Ceremonies because the civil Right and the publick Tranquility oblig'd him to it He approved not of them because there is nothing that can constrain the Mind of a wise Man to believe whatever the Vulgar believes Inwardly he was free but outwardly bound to the Laws of humane Society By this means he acquitted himself at the same time of that Duty he owed to others and of that which he owed to himself Of Piety WE must next speak of Piety which relates to our Parents as Religion relates to the worship of God For as God is said to be the Father of all Things because he hath made all Things so Children ought to consider their Parents as the Instruments of God to bring them into the World And truly next to that Obligation that we owe to God there can be none greater or of more force than that which unites us to our Parents As to other Persons we may be indebted to them for some sorts of Benefits but to our Fathers and Mothers we are indebted for our selves and for what we are And if it be so agreeable with Nature to love our selves how agreeable ought it to be with the same Nature to love those by whom we who thus love our selves subsist and from whom we have received that which we love namely our selves If it be suitable to the Rules of Nature to love those who love us can there be a more fervent Love than that of Parents to their Children And can provoked Nature consequently produce a more abominable Monster than a Son who loveth not his Father or Mother or is ungrateful to ' em Truly if such there be what quiet of Conscience can they enjoy Nay they must certainly be very uneasy and torment themselves Day and Night for such a Crime Whereas on the contrary how much Satisfaction doth a dutiful and affectionate Child enjoy who from his Heart sincerely Honours his Father and Mother and is not transported with any thing so much as to shew to them his Gratitude by all manner of good Deeds either by expressing to them his Respect or by evidencing to them his Love and who enjoys no greater Content than to give them some Satisfaction and principally in this to be glad of having begotten such a Son O how Delightful and valuable was the Burthen of him who in a publick Conflagration despising all other Things in comparison of his Father's Life carried him away safe and unhurt upon his Shoulders through all the Flames and Darts of the Enemy For Him a thousand Dangers have I sought And rushing where the thickest Grecians fought Safe on my Back the sacred Burthen brought Which the Poets have related of Aeneas And Elian tells us of two Brothers of Catania who in the furious Burning of Mount Aetna saved their Father from the scorching Flames which casually or by a divine Appointment open'd a way as they say to let them pass through 'T is with great reason that Solon judged Cleobis and Biton happy not only because of the happy end of their Life but chiefly because of that great Joy that they felt when for want of Oxen they freely Yoak'd themselves and drew the Chariot where their Mother was sitting I cannot but make here a little Digression and wish with Martinus who hath left us a rare and excellent History of the Kings of China that the Piety of Christians to their Fathers and Mothers were equal to that of the idolatrous Chineses to theirs This Piety saith he is yet observed among the Chineses with an incredible Respect and most wonderful Expressions of Grief Three Years compleat Children lament the Death of their Fathers They first begin by retiring from those publick Employments which at other times they follow they never go out of their Dwellings they change their Apartments their Food and Furniture to make use of some plainer they never sit but upon some low Form they drink no Wine nor eat any delicious Meats but confine themselves to feed upon certain Herbs their Cloathing is very course of some thin Linnen Cloath of a white Colour for that is the Colour they mourn in their Bed is very uneasy nay they change their very Tone and manner of Speaking the better expressing thereby their Grief and Affliction He who thus Mourns takes no other name but wretched and ungrateful Son as if he had neglected by his good Offices and Care to prolong the Life of his dear Father or as if he had hasten'd his Departure by his negligent and undutiful Behaviour If he writes 't is only upon Yellew or Blew Paper both which among them are Colours betokening Sadness But this we cannot too much commend that this wonderful Piety of the Chineses appears not only in their Mourning thus after the Decease of their Parents but also in the Reverence Obedience and good Deeds which they perform to them during their Lives Insomuch that many seeing them decrepit with old Age leave all to afford them their personal assistance they resign their Employments to the Emperor who seldom refuseth to accept of 'em and grant them this Favour for they know that in such a Piety there is nothing of Ambition Pride or vain Glory But this by the by Let us now return to our Author and to the indispensable Duties of Children to their Parents The First is to have not only a great esteem for them and to look upon them as the Authors or Instruments of their Being and supplying God's stead in relation to them but also to shew that Esteem and inward Veneration which they have for them by outward signs of Honour and Respect and evidence to all the World that they really respect them and consider them as infinitely above them 'T is in this manner that pious Cimon behaved himself who when he had not wherewithal to obtain
every one should have and possess to himself something which is not lawful for another to take away because there is nothing more agreeable with Nature than to preserve our selves safe and secure which would be impossible among the Quarrels and Violences unto which Men would be continually subject and liable if all Things did so belong to all Men that every one might have Right over his Neighbour's Goods and might lawfully take them away at his Pleasure Sixthly That our Housholds chiefly those of Princes and great Persons are far from the plainness of our Ancestors when Men reckoned among the principal Possessions of a Family the Wife and the Ox. Vxoremque Bovemque jugalem When a cold Cave was all the House which contained the Fire the domestick Gods the Houshold-Goods and all the Stock under the same Roof Cum frigida parvas Praeberet spelunca domos ignemque laremque Et pecus dominos communi clauderet umbra Lastly That the Oeconomick Prudence is divided into four Parts The Nuptial or that of a married State in relation to the Wife The Paternal in respect of the Children The Lordly or Magisterial which relates to the Servants and Slaves The Possessions which respects the Goods Possessions and other Enjoyments of the Family Of the Nuptial Prudence and its several Duties AS for what concerns among other things the Nuptial Prudence it is most certain that the first and principal Duty is to chuse a good Wife for he who endeavours to marry with Beauty Nobility or Riches rather than Virtue is striving doubtless to load himself with a tedious and troublesome Cross When the Election is made and the Marriage consummated the Husband ought in such a manner to labour to gain the Love of his Spouse by all the Expressions of Affection and Respect that she may easily see her own Happiness and be persuaded that she could never meet with a better Husband a more honest Man nor a more suitable and more pleasant Companion Yet this ought to be managed with so much Moderation and Discretion that no occasion may be given to her to become Insolent and that with the Love she bears to her Husband she may not forget the Respect that she owes him For tho' there is an Equality between the Husband and the Wife there are a great many things in which the Husband ought to have the Pre-eminence and if in such Cases he yields by chance to the Ambition of the Woman he will quickly find himself under a most intolerable Yoke and with the loss of his Authority he will lose also his Peace and Quiet He ought likewise to train her up and instruct her in such a manner in the Management of Domestick Affairs that he may leave to her the ordinary Care and Command of the Family and may himself be better able to look after the Concerns abroad By this means she will share in the Government and ease her Husband of those Cares which are of less Moment and within the reach and capacity of the Female Sex He must also acquaint her with such of his Designs which he knows do not exceed the capacity of her Understanding and which he believes she will keep secret if there be any need of Concealment that she may thereby understand that she is not slighted and that her Husband desires that she may have a share in his Affairs and that if she is to be concerned in doing any thing she may perform it more satisfactorily and with greater affection Besides as she is admitted to be a Fellow-labourer she will add to his Joy upon good success and lessen his Grief upon ill I need not mention that he ought not to violate his conjugal Faith that he has plighted to her for this were to do her a great Injustice and to incline her to return him the like besides this is apt to beget a certain Indignation and Aversion in her with a domestick Hatred never to be reconciled attended with perpetual Quarrels not to mention something else which too commonly attends the furious Jealousie of a Woman Quid non possit foemina furens Lastly if she hath neither Modesty nor Manners and after that the Husband hath applyed all possible industry to make her better if she remains still untractable it is not lawful doubtless to destroy her as it was among the Romans the Greeks and the Gauls according to thee too cruel Laws of their Country but in such a case it is convenient either to separate or to resolve to submit with Courage and to alleviate with Patience the Evil that we cannot Remedy especially if there be Children that so the Follies and Infamy of the Mother and the Discredit of the Family may not be divulged But we must here acknowledge the Truth That the brutish Temper and ill Conduct of Men oftner make Marriages unhappy than the Lightness Unconstancy Vanity and Ambition of Wives Therefore the modern Persians have a common Proverb That the Husband who hath an ill Wife don't deserve to be married They mean thereby That a Man who dares venture upon Marriage ought besides the certain knowledge of his bodily Strength to know at the first beginning how to manage and order the Mind and Temper of his Wife so as to make her become good Now if he be defective in this it will be accounted his Fault his want of skill or complacency of Temper and consequently his incapacity of rendring Matrimony so easie and agreeable as it ought to be Of paternal Prudence and its several Duties THE principal Office of paternal Prudence seems chiefly to have regard to the begetting of Children because from hence proceeds the Temper of the Body and consequently the Disposition and Inclination either to Good or Evil Manners It is not therefore without Reason that this Reproach is so common Genuit te Parens ebrius cum foret Thy Father was Drunk when he begot thee But if we should advise Men what Plato Aristotle Plutarch and others have taught concerning the Age the Season the Manners of Living the preceding Continency and other things requisite they would but little regard it being carried to the Act by a blind and lustful Fury so that it is a hazard if the Off-spring thus engendred prove virtuous or otherwise and Children thus casually begotten are educated such as they are born Therefore if we consider this Duty the First thing will be to look carefully to Children in their Infancy to take a principal care that if the Mother hath not the Patience to suckle her Infant and to give it the Breast and that Milk which Nature hath bestowed upon her for that purpose to make choice of a Nurse of a good Disposition sound Constitution and good Temper for certainly this first Nourishment hath a great influence upon the remaing part of our Life upon the health of our Bodies and the disposition of our Minds The Second thing is to train 'em up in good Manners and give 'em
prudent Instructions which is of so great importance that we cannot be too careful and solicitous in providing 'em able and discreet Tutors And here by the way I cannot but admire at the niggardly Thrift of some Parents in this particular not considering that this lays the foundation of their Childrens future Happiness or Ruin And if a Child shall perceive when he comes to Age that any thing in that respect hath been wanting to him he will scarce ever forgive them The Third is to design 'em to a certain manner of Life always with a regard to their Condition Abilities and chiefly to their Genius and Natural Inclination for fear that we should engage them in an Employment which they are not able to discharge with Credit or to reap much Advantage or Pleasure by The last Duty is to admit them in such a manner into their Counsels that they may understand betimes the Business of the Family and how it is like to go for time to come for fear that they should be altogether ignorant of it and be unable to bear the Burthen if the Father should happen to fail It is doubtless a foolish and ridiculous kind of Envy in Fathers and Mothers to be unwilling to communicate their Concerns to their Children as if it did not behove them to be acquainted therewith for if thereby they imagin the better to support their Authority they are very much deceived not considering that by this Concealment they lessen the Love that Children would have had for them and offer 'em Motives if not to desire their death at least to bear it with less Concern 'T is true a Father ought always to preserve himself in the Esteem and Veneration of his Children and as we commonly say Command over his Family till Death But this Respect must be obtained in such a manner as he ought not to lose his Childrens Love which cannot be better preserv'd than by such Actions as may convince them they love them sincerely and that they labour only for their good They ought to behave themselves after such a manner and with so much Prudence that they may esteem themselves happy to be the Children of such a Father who is one of the best of Parents and faithfullest of Friends that they could ever desire These Expressions of Affection are so much the more needful for Fathers and Mothers because as it hath been always observed Love never ascends as it doth descend The love of Children to Parents is commonly much less than that of Fathers and Mothers to their Children the latter seeming as it were much more natural than the former Of the Prudence of Superiors and their several Duties ARistotle teacheth That the Prudence of a Lord hath in it nothing great and sublime because it sufficeth that the Master knows how to Command what the Slave should perform Yet according to his Opinion there is a particular Knowledge that regards the Government of Slaves The First Office is to distinguish and understand the Ability and Capacity of each Servant or Slave lest by a mistake we should employ one who is by birth fit to be an Overseer in mean and laborious Drudgeries or on the contrary we should advance one who is less capable to a more considerable Post Secondly so to behave our selves with our Servants that they may not grow Insolent nor be cast down or too much discouraged for this purpose we must shew some Respect to such as are the best qualified the most polished and most civilized and supply the meanest with a competent Subsistence for that little Respect that we render to the first and the necessary Allowance that we give to the latter is instead of a Reward and Incouragement to them for their Labour And tho' what we have said be commonly understood only as to Slaves yet it may also be meant of those whom we call Servants in whose place many would willingly have Slaves restored for Reasons that are sufficiently known However whether we use Slaves or Servants we ought always so to behave our selves towards them that they may be inclined to perform their Duty with Respect and Willingness which may easily be obtained unless it be sometimes in Servants because they have the liberty to leave and depart and seldom will endure Correction But it is not sufficient that they serve with Respect but we should endeavour that Affection may accompany it which can never be expected unless we make them sensible that we love them our selves that we have a care of them and that whiles they perform their Duty we shall never be wanting in our care of their Welfare and that at the appointed time some shall have their Freedom others their Reward At last whether we promise them any Reward or whether they have any Reason to expect any we must not suffer them to be disappointed of their Expectation not only because Equity requires it but also because Prudence is concerned that other Servants and Slaves may serve so much the more willingly because they will expect to be treated in the same manner and will thereby understand that they have to do with a good Master and a very honest Man Of Possessory Prudence and its Offices LAstly As to this sort of Prudence its main Office it seems is to take care that nothing necessary be wanting to the Family for a Father of a Family commands over all its Members to the end that by his Prudence and Diligence he may mind that nothing be deficient which they are to have with respect to the Condition of the Person For tho' absolutely and according to the Prescript of Nature nothing is necessary but that which expels Hunger Thirst Cold and such like Inconveniences nevertheless civil Society makes several other things needful which are suitable to the Rank and Degree that we bear in that Society A consequence of this Duty is to take heed that our Expences do not exceed our Incomes because the Debts contracted by degrees will drain the Fund and bring the Family to Penury and Want We don't speak of idle and ridiculous Expences which are never to be suffered but such as Prudence will permit and which are to be regulated according to our Abilities and the clear Rents and Incomes of our Estates which cannot well be expected without this second Duty that seems to be of a greater Concernment than all the rest That the Master himself should understand his own Business and if he cannot think upon every particular thing he ought not to trust so much to his Agents and Stewards but that he should well know in what his Estate consists and be perfectly acquainted with the state of his Incomes and Expences We commonly see that all things go to wrack in great Houses when the Master understands not his Affairs but leaves 'em to the Management of Servants and Stewards in such a manner that they think they may do what they please without being called to an account
leave to bury his Father sold himself purchasing that Liberty with the loss of his own The Second Duty is to comply with their Wills and be obedient to their Commands for that is the chief part of the Respect and Reverence that we owe them and on the contrary to be Disobedient is a sign of Disrespect and Contempt I confess we are not bound to obey them when they command any thing against God against the welfare of our Country and contrary to Right and Justice but 't is very seldom that Fathers or Mothers lay any such Commands on their Children Nor ought a Child rashly and inconsiderately to make an uncharitable Construction of his Father's Commands but if for plain and convincing Reasons he finds himself forced to disobey him this ought to be done with such respect and Deference as becomes him From hence it follows that Children should undertake nothing of moment against their Wills but in all Matters of the greatest Concern such as Matrimony c. they should be directed by 'em for as it is supposed they best understand so likewise they most desire their Childrens Welfare and Happiness We must also conclude from hence that if there be any thing in the Behaviour of Parents to their Children that savours of Austerity or hard Usage they ought to undergo it patiently and to be so far from aggravating or complaining of it as not to endure their Names to be reproached or ill spoken of by others The Third Duty is to help them in all their Necessities and to remember the Cares Pains and Trouble which we gave them in our Infancy and in the following course of our Life and not to forget that excellent Sentence of Aristotle That there is more Honour and greatness of Mind to think upon the Authors of our Being than upon our selves and that we are bound to Honour them as we do the immortal Gods Let us remember the Divine Commandment which promiseth a long and happy Life to Children who shall Honour their Fathers and Mothers Honora Patrem Matrem si vis esse longaevus super terram Which we may call a Commandment and a moral Precept proper to all Ages Senes Parentes nutriens diu vives 'T is not improper here to mention a Word of that Piety and Love we owe to our Country which doubtless ought to be yet dearer to us than our Parents themselves We cannot excuse our selves from speaking of it and the rather because we have already taken notice that it is even lawful to accuse our Parents themselves where they have been found guilty of betraying our Country or endeavouring to invade it and become Conquerours of it when all our Prayers and Intreaties to desist from such a wicked Purpose prove ineffectual and we cannot persuade them to right Reason 'T is not without just Cause doubtless that we have mentioned and maintain this Opinion for as the Love that we bear for our Country is named Piety because our Country is as the common Mother that brings us forth nourisheth and maintains us 't is plain that our Country which is as the Parent of our Fathers and Mothers of all our Relations and Friends ought to be dearer to us than all the rest 'T is what Cicero proves very well Can there be any Parentage nearer to us than our Country in which all Parents are comprehended If our Fathers our Mothers our Children our Relations and Friends are dear to us how much more should our Country be dearer which contains them all Is there any honest Man that ought not to venture his Life for his Country if he can render to it thereby any Service Is there any Evil more abominable than to destroy it or to endeavour to ruin it as some have attempted to do Of Observance or Respect THE Third Virtue that belongs to Justice is that which Cicero calls Observance by which we are inclined to reverence and respect those who are raised above us in Dignity exceed us in Age or excel us in Wisdom For as Dignity or Beneficence are the occasion of Reverence and Honour and that those who are promoted to Dignities are deemed worthy and seem as it were born and designed for the publick Good either by governing or conducting the People or by composing their Differences and Sutes or by defending them from the Enemy or by procuring the publick Safety or Plenty by this 't is certain that we ought to Honour and Respect them and the rather because if this were not performed there would be no body to take upon 'em the necessary Cares and Troubles of managing the publick Concerns which would be at length the cause of confusion and disorder which in this case by paying a due deference and respect may in a great measure be prevented 'T is unquestionable also that old Age is of it self Venerable because it hath the experience of Things and consequently hath that Prudence that it is able to advise young People and direct 'em for their good Young Folk saith Sopater in Stobaeus ought to Honour them who are their Elders make choice of the honestest and most experienced follow their Counsel and rely upon their Authority 'T is for this Cause that the great Captain of the Greeks had always a greater respect for Nestor than for the rest and rather wished to find out Ten like Nestor than like Ajax But old Age will be so much the more worthy of Honour and Veneration when it shall not only be adorn'd with gray Hairs but with Wisdom and Prudence when it is able to afford good Advice and that it is become commendable by its Virtues and by its good Deeds Lastly It is manifest that we ought to have Respect and Veneration for those who are Wise or Virtuous seeing that Wisdom or Virtue is the true and solid Foundation of all Honour that is rendered Indeed Virtue alone as they say is its own sufficient Reward But tho those who are Virtuous seek not to draw from thence Honour and Respect yet they who know them to be such are obliged to pay this Deference to 'em otherwise they would not do Right and Justice to their Merits and give a due estimate to that which of all Things in the World is the most valuable Potior est illa Argento Auroque purissimo This the wise Man ascribes to Virtue 't is of more worth than Gold and the finest Silver 't is more precious than all the Pearls and Jewels yea than all that is desirable There is nothing to be compared with it Of Friendship WE cannot but say something of Friendship unto which such are obliged who are reciprocally beloved Of all the things saith Cicero according to Epicurus which tend toward the making our Lives happy there is nothing more considerable and advantageous than Friendship For indeed there is nothing in the Life of a wise Man more pleasing than when like a Philosopher he may say to a Friend of whose Sincerity he is