Penal as Jacob did bear with Leahs blear eyes and Rachels barrenness and Elkanah who would not love Hannah the wors for a fault she could not help 8. He must suffer himself in some things to be advised by her This will comfort them Gen. 21. 12 1 Sam. 1. 23 against those things they suffer in their husbands love This will encourage them to undergo joynt care in the Family 9. He must not be bitter unto her Quest wherein Col. 3. 19. doth that stand Answ Not in crossing her in worldly wicked and want on things nor in a just reproving her folly but it stands in Affections words and deeds In affections when trifles draw the heart from love to sowre hatred In words when their tender natures are unjustly wounded by them In deeds when the wife is used like a drudge more like then like a wife as when she is deprived of houshold government when she is wilfully shortned in necessaries and when she is ill rewarded with blowes Christ is an absolute Lord Prov. 31. 27 as well as an husband and so may correct his Spouse but we are onely husbands and may not do that which can never be done without sin Now the reasons why husbands must honour their wives are these Because they are the weaker vessels Weakest members are most spared and brittle vessels are most tenderly used It is true they are vessels therefore they are for use they are helps to pietie helps to societie helps to house-government and helps to propagation yet are they weaker vessels therefore to be honoured as being for the Closet not for the Kitching Besides they are heirs together with their Gal. 2. husbands of the Grace of life This is the dignitie of that sexe that neither male nor female are lookt upon by a different eye in God but all are one in Christ Yea would ye not have prayers interrupted then thus honour your wives saith Peter Yea they are 1 Pet. 3. the gifts of God for all comfort and such gifts are prized What therefore remains but that husbands honour their wives If an husband say my wife is full of weakness therefore honour her as the weaker a Venice glass with good usage lasteth long If he say she hath bad qualities love not them yet honour her not because she deserves but because God commands SECT 13. THe second paire in this building of God are Couplings and they are 1. Children and 2. Parents 1. Children next to their duties to God are bound to doe their duties to their Parents These stand 1. In Reverence 2. In Obedience 3. In Thankfulness 1. They owe reverence to their Parents for acting of which there are 1. Duties which they must do 2. Sins which they must avoid 1. Their Duties are grounded in a singular love such as Ruth had to Naomi and they Ruth 1. are two standing in a reverent awe of them as God saith Ye shall fear every man his mother Levit. 19. 3. and his father God placeth the mother first because they soonest are despised thorough their own indulgence Next they must testifie this their reverence five wayes 1. By speaking reverently unto them as Isaac here am I my father and that son in the Gen. 22. Matth. 21. 30. 1 Kings 2. 20. Gospel I goe Sir and Solomon Aske on my mother 2. By humble craving their blessings Though they have no prophetical blessings as Isaack had for Iacob and Esau yet God Exod. 20. saith Honour thy Parents that thou maist live God hath promised them to be an ordinary means to get life of him for honourers of them 3. By rising up before them You know Prov. 31. 28 what Bathshebah saith Her children rise up and call her blessed 4. By bowing and baring to them as signs of civil honour Thus Ioseph though a mightie Prince and his father in want yet Gen. 48. 12 1 Kings 2. 19. bowes to the earth before him and Solomon to his mother 5. By not witnessing against them except Deut. 33. 9. in case of Treason and Rebellion for at such a turn Levi saw not his father nor his mother or brethren 2. Sinnes to be avoyded by children are First setting light by Parents Cursed be he Deut. 27. 16. saith God that sets light of his father that is gives not respect to him as God and nature requires Secondly Mocking of Parents The eye Prov. 30. 17 that mocks his father and despiseth the instruction of his mother let the Ravens pick out and the Eagles devour and this I speak upon my own knowledge that I knew a sonne many yeares who forsook the course of his good father neglected the counsel of his religious mother and as he was going homeward from his bowzing companions in the evening he fell among bushes and died before morning and was found by his friends that sought him with his eyes picked out either by Crows Ravens or some birds of prey Thirdly Cursing of Parents He that curseth Levit. 20. 9 his father and mother shall die the death saith God and our good Saviour doth second it Fourthly Smiting Parents For he that smiteth Mark 7. 10 Exod. 21. 15. father and mother shall die the death The very Heathens sowed such children in a sack with a Dog Cat Viper and Ape as Emblems of unnaturalnesse and drowned them together 2. They owe Obedience unto their Parents Obey the father that hath begotten thee and despise not thy mother when she is old saith Prov. 23. 22. Col. 3. 20. Solomon Children obey your Parents in all things for this is pleasing saith Paul To Obey is an humble being at the command of Parents and a patient holding out to the end as Isaack to Abraham when he was to be Gen. 22. sacrificed And this Obedience reacheth to all things to which the commanding power of Parents extends It must be shewed in all good things for body soul state either present or future Jer. 35. 6. 18. In things indifferent as the Rechabites who for it were looked upon by God with a good eye In harsh and unpleasing things as we see in Joseph when he was commanded to go to his envious brethren that loved him not and Gen 37. 13. 14. Gen. 22. in Isaack who was able enough to resist yet resisted not All the question will be how far children must Obey And it may be quickly answered Luke 14. 26. Puto genus pietatis Impium esse pro Domino John 2. Deut. 33. 9. so far as may stand with the honour of God for otherwise ye reade of Hating father and mother and ye see the best pattern Christ who checked his mother and obeyed not against the houre of his father at the beck and word of his mother Again they must obey so far as stands with the honour of Government for if a son be in place of honor and he commanded base things below him and unsuitable
1 Cor. 14. 40. Gen. 29. 22. John 2. 3. The mutual rejoycing of the friends comes in next and surely there is a lawfulnesse of feasting and mutual rejoycing at marriages Else Christ would not have blessed one with his presence and first miracle nor would Es 62. 5. God have described the joy that he takes in Matth. 9. 15 Matth. 22. his Church by the joy of marriage nor would Christ have compared the kingdome of heaven to a wedding feast But let me say withall that there are no greater sins committed then about things lawfull It is lawfull to eat drink weare apparel and to feast hence thousands of excesses and miseries have come in Excesses as at Nabals feast was drunkennesse at Absolons was murther at Ahasuerus his was a breach betwixt him and his wife Vashti at Belteshazzars carrousing and blasphemy at Herods wanton dancing and cutting off of Iohn Baptists head Miâ—â—ries as Elah was smote and killed while he was drinking Benhadad was surprised Israel while meat was in their mouth felt wrath and Jobs children were stifled Therefore warily consider what ye do at weddings and what ye should do Ye do rejoyce indeed but it is with wanton dancings bawdy jests and hellish carrowsings But what should ye do Ye should be carefull to prevent excess as Christ saith Take heed Luke 21. that your hearts be not oppressed with surfetting and drunkenness lest that day come upon you at unawares Ye should bring God into all your thoughts that you feed not without fear Ye Iude. Philip. 4 should do nothing which is dishonest or of ill report Ye should have good wishes speaches counsels and prayers to the new married couples like those that said The Ruth 4. 11. Lord make thy wife like Rachel and Leah which two builded the house of Israel and do thou worthily in Ephrata and be famous in Bethlehem SECT 10. 3. THe consequents of marriage in the Lord are two 1. Cohabitation 2. Communion 1. Man and wife must dwell together Let the husband dwell with his wife saith Peter 1 Pet. 3. 7. Prov. 5. 18 19. and Solomon saith Rejoyce in the wife of thy youth and let her breasts satisfie thee at all times and delight continually in her This cannot be without Cohabitation The first institution was a remedy against solitariness It is not Gen. 2. good for man to be alone let us make an help meet for him and let him cleave to his wife Quest I know what you will say may they never live asunder Answ Yes upon three occasions Vpon mutual consent for a time for the good of the Family My husband saith she is not at home he is gone Prov. 7. 19 20. a far journey at the time appointed he will come again Vpon Compulsion when persecution or imprisonment forceth it When some weightie affairs either in Church or Common-wealth requires it This was Vriahs case 2 Sam. 11. 11. when he would not go to his own house while the Ark and Israel and Iudah with his Lord Ioab were in Tents Yet must they not live asunder out of choice It is for an harlot to be called a strange woman but for a Prov. 2. 16. 2 Sam. 12. wife to be a lamb in the bosome as for the other causes so for samenesse of dwelling 2. As Cohabitation followes upon marriage 1 Cor. 7. 3. 1 Cor. 7. 4. so Communion which stands in three things a communion of Bodies a communioâ— of helps and a communion of joyes They must have a communion of Bodies whereby they defraud not one another except it be by consent for a time that they may give themselves â—â— fasting and prayer yet must not this be excessive for there may be too much uxoriousness at home as well as adulterie abroad Ezâ—k 18. 6. 1 Cor. 7. 5. Gen. 25. 21 1 Sam. 1. â—7 And it must be sanctified by the Word oâ— God and Prayer Doe it by rule and with Prayer as Isaac and Hannah did They musâ— have a Communion of helps in nourishing and cherishing each other To this end there must be a communion of goods they must have one purse but not for waste a communion of Counsel in matters domestical they must have one head as Pilats wife and the Shunamite and a communion of labours they must have one hand and that an helper Lastly they must have a communion of joy by having one heart as Isaack and Rebeckah who sported together and as Solomon gives Gen. 26. 8. Prov. 5. 18 19. in rule Rejoyce with the wife of thy youth Oh how happy a foundation of Gods building would such a marriage lay to last till death us do part Thus of the first part of Gods setting up of his building in a Family the Foundation SECT 11. NOw secondly of the upper building which stands perfectly 1. In wife and husband 2. In parents and children 3. In masters and servants Begin where God begins still with inferiours Amor descendit officium ascendit Love descends but dutie ascends The first pair of beams in an house builded by God are wife and husband who bear up this frame The wife must submit to her husband as unto the Eph. 5. 22 24. Lord yea as the Church is subject to Christ The woman saith Paul is bound to the law Rom. 7. 2 of her husband yea this is comely it is the best fashion that ever they wore Therefore Col. 3. 18. 1 Tim. 2. 12. saith God I permit not a woman to usurp authoritie Object Whatsoever thou permittest will some women say I will do it Sol. Nay saith God Thy desire shall be subiect to thy husband and he shall rule over thee Gen. 3. 16. Quest Will any good woman ask me What it is to submit that she may conscionably do it Answ It is to put her self willingly under the government of her husband Quest Will she further ask me how she must submit Answ Surely not by way of bondage but free service for her self because she and her husband do make but one Quest Will she further ask wherein she must submit Answ Paul saith In all things that are lawfull and honest Eph. 5. 22. In general she must submit to her husbands honour Sarah honoured her husband and called him Lord. The good wife calls her husband 1 Pet. 3. 6. Hos 2. Prov. 7. 19. Ishi my man but the harlot saith plain Ish the man is gone abroad this is a clear sign that she honours him not In particular she must submit three wayes By an inward act of the mind acknowledging Eph. 5. ult his headship and taking direction from him if he be wise and for him if he be a fool By an inward act of the will conforming to his good manners and affections By these outward acts of dutie which depend upon these thus 1. They must answer their husbands wills Their questions must not be Whose will shall be
with his state he may humbly deny Yea and so far must they obey as stands with the honour of the Family Gen. 2. God saith Forsake thy father and thy mother and cleave to thy wife How forsake them Not forsake the duty of honouring them or the dutie of helping them but the dutie of Cohabitation when they have a wife of their own and the duties of administring their houshold affairs when they have Families of their own to provide for 3. They owe thankfulnesse to their Parents which must be held forth in three duties First in relieving their Parents that they may recompense them as Paul phraseth it Parents helped them when they could not 1 Tim. 5. 4. help themselves so must they deal by their Parents that are helplesse Thus did Christ David and Ioseph Let all children look seriously upon these examples to follow them John 19. 26 1 Sam. 22. 3 Gen. 47. 12 or else remember that memorable story of Luther A good Father had put over his state to his sons in Germany reserving onely to himself a power by turns to come and take his diet at their Tables One of his sons being at dinner and having a goose before him spied his father coming and set thâ— â—oose underneath the table till his father was gone again Then takes he up the goose which God had wonderfully turned into a great toad which leaped into his face and notwithstanding all his striving it could not be removed till it had stifled him to make him an example of all unthankfull children Secondly In praying for them If for all that are in authoritie why not for them first Thirdly In burying them therefore it is now grown into a word Parentare to bury Parents and the solemnities are called Parentals Thus did Iacob Esau and Ioseph Oh that all children would be carefull to know these things in Gods building and do them I know what many children plead for themselves Object Saith one my Parents are childish and divers Sol. So wert thou and they were glad to please thee night and day Obiect Saith another my wife will not be content Sol. Oh in other things thou canst rule her in this thou wilt not to save thy purse Object Saith a third I am not able to do for them Sol. Indeed above this God requires not yet know that Parents will beg for children why not children for Parents Object Saith a fourth I had no great matter from my Parents Sol. For shame say not so they were a cause of thy Being by Generation of thy Living by Education and of thy Learning by Information by themselves or by others Say no more but children up and be doing or else remember Absalom who being unnatural to his Parents was hanged betwixt heaven and earth as unworthy of either or both If this or the like should be thy case Farewel life farewel heaven SECT 14. NExt I come to Parents and they must not Eph. 6. 4. provoke their children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. First they must not provoke them to wrath Surely this is not by suffering them to have their wills For a child set at liberty Prov. 29 15 makes the mother ashamed Neither is it by rebuking them when they do amisse for not to do this undoes many a child as you see in Adoniah Neither is it by correcting them when rebukes will do no good for he that 1 Kings 1. 5 6. Prov. 13. 24. spares the rod hates his son Neither it is by keeping them under subjection for this they must do out of love to God and their souls or sinne will grow What is it then It is a shewing too much rigour and severitie towards them As first when they deny to them what by law of Nature belongs to them according to state as meat drink cloth and breeding For if any man provide not for his own he is 1 Tim. 5. 8. worse in that then an Infidel Secondly when they burthen them with unjust commands Saul command Jonathan to 1 Sam. 20. 31. 34. fetch David out of a mischievous heart against him and so vexed Ionathan that he kept from his meat Thirdly When they vex them with reproachful words for what they cannot help as when Saul called his sonne The sonne of a 1 Sam. 20. 30. perverse rebellious woman The fault was Sauls own and not his sons if he married such a woman Fourthly when they rage them with undeserved blowes Saul took up a javelin to throw at Ionathan and saith the Text He 1 Sam. 20. 33 34. rose from the table in fierce wrath If Parents thus provoke their children to wrath they Col. 3. 21. will be discouraged either by dejectednesse or by fearfulnesse or by desperate stubbornnesse 2. They must bring up their children in Nurture and this is a framing of them like 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 men and women It includeth four things 1. Learning 2. Mannâ—rs 3. Labour 4. Correction 1. They must bring their children up in learning Paul was brought up at the feet of Acts 22. 3. Gamaliel and you know the care of Pharaohs Exod. 2. Dan. 1. daughter for Moses and of Nebuchadnezzar for Daniel how much more must Christians that know better The blessed Virgin though she were poore would not be guiltie therefore Luke 4. 16. John 8. 6. we reade of her son Iesus his reading and of his writing Object I know some have said I shall leave my children enough what needs learning But there is the more need for that Sol. The greater the ship is the greater is the fraight the greater the fraight the more skilfull had the Pilot need to be Object But the poore man will say alas I cannot bring him up to learning Sol. Truely the more is the pittie yet I wish them to consider sadly two things whether they do not spend two pence or three pence in a week worse and whether learning be not a better portion then wealth 2. They must bring them up in manners Riches without manners is but a Pearl in a swines snout Therefore here lies Parents next care If an Heathen when he saw a youth carrie himself unmannerly beat his Cur sic instituis Master saying Why doe you instruct him so much more are Parents to bee blamed Quest If you ask wherein doe manners stand Answ I answer 1. In Silence 2. In Speech 3. In Gesture 1. They must learn them to keep silence in two cases First In giving their betters leave to speak before them Elihu waited till the antients Job 32. 4. had done Secondly in not interrupting others while they are speaking for he that is hastie in his matters there is more hope of a fool then of Prov. 29. 20 him 2. In speech they must learn them to use fair speeches as that yong man to Christ good master and Luke to that high Christian most
discourage the receiver Sol. Not so for it is not our welfare before God but in the course of this life as when the Psalmist saith Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord and walketh in his wayes How Psal 128. 1. 2 3. blessed He shall eat the labour of his hands happie shall he be and it shall be well with him his wife shall be as a fruitfull Vine In which words you see though he that fears God be blessed before God yet here he speaks of a blessednesse in this world that is an estate that is more commodious and comfortable as Christ saith Blessed are the barren in the dayes of persecution and banishment 4. The reasons why it is thus blessed to be a giver are 1. Because he that gives feels not the poore receivers troubles and temptations He need not say What shall I eat what shall I drink 2. He most resembleth God and Matth. 6. 31 Heaven and Ierusalem which is above which are spent and spend by perpetual blessings and influences 3 He is in this an Actor and doer in the providence of God whereas the receiver is a sufferer and the more active we are â—he more like to God are we who is a pure act Hence I would perswade every giver to see the excellencie of this estate and to use it well If you ask how this may be done I answer 1. Acknowledge it a dutie to give The whole course of nature receiveth to give The comfortable sentence in the last judgement is Matth. 25. Si non panisti occidâ—sti Dan. 4. 27. to givers If we give not as we can we may may be guiltie of murther therefore Daniel said to that great king Let my counsel be acceptable to thee break off thy sins by righteousnes and thine iniquitie by mercy to the poore Obiect The covetous man saith May I not do with my own what I will God may but not you You must say as Joseph am not I under God Sol. In his own right God took from Laban and gave it unto Jacob God tooke from the Egyptians and Luke 19. gave it to Israel but you are Gods stewards and may not say as Nabal shal I take my meat and my drink which I have provided for my servans and gave it unto strangers No no you know what became of him know then for certain as preaching hearing prayers are duties so also is the giving 2. Labour to give as you should weigh with me foure things 1. Who must give 2. To whom wy must give 3. The order to be observed in giving 4. The manner of giving 1. They must give first that own things by Quod meum est dare 1 Tim. 6. 1 Io. 3. 17. proper or delegated right It must be of what by some right is our own These givers are of two sorts either they that have abundance of this worlds goods or they that have from hand to mouth These must give in some cases as we see in that poore widdow who cast in her Luke 21. 2 Eph. 4. 28. mites and the labourer who must work that he may give to others But hence are excluded children servants and all that have not a right in what is to be given 2. They that can judge of what they doe to doe it as a dutie For it must be done with understanding and conscience Hence therefore are excluded mad men who cannot do what they do from well setled conscience and prodigal fools and children who are under the tuition and government of others 2. We must give to those that are Gods receivers whether they are friends or foes Quest If you ask who these are Answ 1. They are such as Christ describes and are distributed into Matth. 25. 35 36. Levit. 25. 35. Gal. 6. Brothers Believers and Enemies if thy enemy hunger feed him 2. Such as we are not forbidden to give unto by the Law of reason and conscience Now there are 4 sorts of persons that ask 1. Travellers in their way like Rom. 12. 20 the wounded man betwixt Jerusalem and Jericho or the stragling Egyptian in the field to 1 Sam. 30. 11 12. whom David gave bread and water Though these may be knaves yet because we know not their persons and their necessities and they may be better then they shew for therefore it is good to give to them for it is better that ten knaves be relieved then that one of Gods servants go emptie away 2. Aged and Impotent persons as that Acts 4. Deut. 15. 4. 11. 1 Tim. 5. 4. 16. Creeple at the beautiful gate of the Temple blind Bartimeus and the like For such God provides comfortably in both Testaments These are Gods receivers sometimes for Christs sake dwelling in them sometimes for Gods sake who created them and will Es 58. not have us to forsake the work of his hands sometimes for our owne sake whose flesh they are 3. Bedlams and distracted people who though I fear that some of them are counterfeits and there be a fault that they wander about yet because we know nothing certain and we find how hard it is for distracted persons to work and settle therefore though the man bc overlookt yet must we relieve the humanitie in him from that golden rule Do as ye would be done unto 4. Travellers never out of their way who wilfully have no abiding place These surely are non of Gods receivers while they are such and though by importunitie sometimes they get something from us and by the negligence of Officers they hunt from us the fat of the true poore yet their course is detestable and not willingly to be maintained both because they live without God irreligiously and without govermnnt inordinately 1 Tim. 5. 8. 5. The order to be observed in giving three texts shall direct first saith Paul If any man provide not for his own he hath denied the faith Gal. 6. 10. and is worse then an Infidel in that Here then is the giver first to look to his own Next saith Deut. 15. 7. Paul Do good unto al but especially to the houshold of faith Here the giver must next looke to the faithful Lastly saith God If there be a poore man among you of one of your brethren thou shalt not harden thy heart nor shut thy hand from thy poore brother Here the giver must in the next place look to the poore brother yet with this exception that greater present necessitie calls for it first to those that are furthest off from us either in the flesh or in the spirit Now lastly we are come to the manner of giving which mostly is set down by Paul to the Corinthians You must give as Christs 2 Cor. 8. 1. 8. 2 Cor. 8. 2. 3. almners therefore liberalitie is called The Grace of God Ye must give richly in affection and action according to necessitie Ye must give your selves first to Christ and afterwards to others uses by the will of God Ye must 2 Cor. 8. 5. give freely for if there be a willing mind it is 2 Cor. 8. 12 accepted of God Ye must give so as other men be not eased and you burthened and grieved for 2 Cor. 8. 15 thus you may be thieves and murtherers to your selves in doing good to others Ye must give in charity for otherwise all your giving 1 Cor. 13. is as a sounding brass and tinkling cymbal Ye must give in faith believing the promise that God will give it back again in kind or in a Gal. 6. 9 Prov. 11. 18 greater blessing He that soweth righteousnesse shall receive a sure reward And that ye may be encouraged look upon our blessed Saviour who though he were rich yet for your sake he became 2 Cor. 8 9. poore that ye through his povertie might be rich And thus I have plainly pencilled out unto you the Lords building of a Christian Family I have ascended from the square to the timber from the timber to the framing from the framing to the laying of the foundation from the foundation to the upper building from the upper building to the finishing from the finishing to the furnishing that God may dwel in it and have glory and you may have comfort and say Grace Grace unto it FINIS The Author 〈…〉 Treatise hath published four other Books viz. 1 Mil It for Babes or a Mothers Catechism wherein â—hief saving Principles of Christian Religion through the Body of it are first briefly propounded then fully expounded Lastly usefully applied whereunto is annexed 3 Sermons 1 Secret sins discovered on Psalm 19. 12. Who can understand his error 2 On Matth. 13. 45 46. A Merchant seeking Pearls having found a Pearl of great priâ—e sold all that he had and bought it 3 On Psalm 31. 5. Into thy hand I commit my Spirit c. 2 The yong mans warning piece a Sermon at the buriall of M. Rogers with a Historie of his sinfull life and woful death with a discourse of the use of such examples 3 Foure Sermons 1 On Iudges 11. 27. The Lord the Iudge be Iudge betwixt the Children of Israel and Ammon 2 On Mattheâ— 7. 12 Whatsoever you would men should do to you do ye even so to them 3 and 4 On 1 Tim. 1. 19. Holding Faith and a good Conscience 4 A triall of Church forsakeâ—s proving the Church of England to â—â— a true Church hath a true Ministrie and true worship On Heb. 10. 2â— Not forsaking the assembling of our selves together as the manner of soâ—â— is All which Books are to be sold by Philemon Stephens â—â— the gilded Lion in Pauls Church-yard