her disastrous to thy selfe Let not the wife then count that bitter which is sweet Neyther let the husband under these pretences obtrude upon her that for sweet which indeed is bitter But if the wife bâ— subject let the husband love So shall the ballance bee equally poysed and marriage if it be a bondage will prove such a one as is onely knit in love-knots The yoke of it will be drawne with pleasure and delight to Gods glory and their owne comfort The Ground of the first Booke of the second TOME Children obey your parents in all things for this is wel-pleasing unto the Lord. TOM II. LIB I. The duty of children to their parents FRom the first oeconomicall combination which was betwixt the husband and the wife we come now to the second which is betwixt the parent and the childe And here as in the former in exacting those mutuall duties which are to be performed by the one to the other our Apostle begins with the weaker and that as I conjecture eyther for the same reasons alledged there or others not much unlike For first of all children are usually more defective towards their parents than parents can bee toward them Hoc est amor in hoâ—inibus quod humor in arboribus Even corrupted nature teacheth every one to be carefully provident for his own For according to Gerson Naturaliter ascendit suâ—cus à radiâ—e ad ramos non è converso The sappe which is in Trees ascendeth naturally from the roote to the branches and not contrarily Secondly when children shall truely tender their obedience parents can not chuse but afford their love To come then to a particular consideration of the Apostles words wee have in them two things Regulam et rationem Regulae First a Rule Children obey your parents in all things Secondly a reason of this rule For this is well pleasing unto the Lord. In the rule wee may observe 4 things First the persons whom it concernes Children Secondly the duty which is exacted by it Obedience Thirdly To whom they are to tender it Parents Fourthly and lastly How farre In all things Children obey your parents in Children As touching the first In the originall we reade 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 whereby is signified unto us a mans whole progeny So that sonnes and daughters are not onely to bee understood here but likewise nephew and neeces For even these are comprehended and that according to Law and Scripture under the name of Children As when the Iewes without any distinction are called the Children of Israel It is a rule then which concerneth all The Athenians according to Thucydides idly conceited their originall to bee from out the earth but reason and religion both teach us that man is the off-spring of man Whosoever therefore is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the childe of any one he hath by vertue of this title some to whom he owes all honour and obedience And it is neyther length of time nor difference in state that can authorize a dispensation for this duty For as touching the first It is not onely during our non-age and minority but likewise in our best maturity that we must with all due reverence subject our wils to their commands And as concerning the later Though in a civill and politicke respect a publique Magistrate bee more honourable than a private man yet as he is a sonne he is to count himselfe inferiour unto him from whom his being is derived Iacob was in great want when hee departed out of Canaan Ioseph his sonne yet being a Prince in Aegypt and one whom Pharaoh had made his Lord-high-Constable as it were for the government of his whole land caused his Chariot to be made ready and went up with all observance to meet Isaac his father Yee may see the like respect in Salomon 1 Kin. 2.19 His mother did no sooner approach but hee rose from our the seate of Majesty and bowed himselfe unto her Yea our Saviour Christ a greater farre then Salomon neglected not the meanenesse of his Parents but notwithstanding he was King of Kings and Lord of Lords he thought it no disadvantage to his dignity Luke 5.51 to shew himselfe subject unto them In a word then whosoever is a childe stands lyable to this rule and it is neither wealth nor age nor honour or the like which can unloose this tie The word is indefinite and without all exemption or limitation Children obey And so from the persons whom this rule concernes I come to the duty which hereby is required Obey The word in the originall is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and according to the native signification which it carrieth denotes unto us two things First the matter that must be tendred Secondly the manner how it must be rendered For first it implies an humble promptitude in entertaining the commands of others Secondly a chearefull application of our best endeavours to a quicke and full performance of the same The severall parts then whereof this obedience heere required doth consist are these First to doe that which our parents shall injoyne us Secondly to learne that which they shall teach us Thirdly to redresse and amend what ever they reprove as faulty in us As touching the first Obedience hath ever beene magnified both of God and man The off-spring of the righteous is obedience and love The Rechabites shall never want a Panegyricke to testifie their obedience to the world Hier. 35.2 no though the booke of Hieremy the Prophet happen to bee cut againe with a pen-knife and burnt upon a hearth as in the daies of Zidkiiah Ionadab their father had enjoyned them to drink no wine it was a Law which they observ'd with such a religious respect that neyther they nor their wives their sonnes nor their daughters did ever violate or infringe 'T was Christs prophecy of himselfe and it will beseeme us well to practise it The Lord opened my eare and I was not rebellious Esay 50.5 neyther turned I backe It was written of him in the booke that he should doe the will of his father and he did it The Law was in the midst of his bowels and without any protraction or delay he presenteth himselfe Psal 40.8 Loe I come He was obedient to the death yea even to the death of the Crosse and though he were the sonne yet learned he obedience by the things he suffered and according to S. Ber. Ne perderet obedientiam perdidit vitam Though his pangs were sharpe sweet was the peace wherewith they were rewarded Disobedience on the other side could never avoyd the judgements of Almighty God It cast the Angels out of heaven our first parents out of Paradise Le ts wife out of her life and nature too Saul out of his Kingdome Ionas out of the ship the children of Israel out of their native soile and which is more out of the naturall roote that bare them For this is the reason which God himselfe alleageth
bee still tyed to reverence obey their Parents Will as likewise to succour and relieve their wants as oft as occasion shall require they are not bound yet as before to cohabitate with them nor yet to expedite their businesses as having matters of their owne to looke unto and those of greater moment and importance And this is most apparent in the first sort For it is the Ordinance of God himselfe Gen. 2.24 that a man should forsake Father and Mother to cleave to his Wife which is not to be understood simply but comparatively in respect of an individual society Again he must labor for the susteÌ„tation of his owne Family This was that which Iacob pretended for his departure Gen 30. when Laban did sollicite him still to continue the keeping of his Flocke willing him to appoint his owne wages Thou knowest said Iacob how I have served thee and how thy Cattle hath beene with mee It was little which thou hadst before I came and it is now encreased to a multitude and the Lord hath blessed thee since my â—omming and now when shall I provide for my owne house also Now as touching those that have betooke themselves to any Church-imployments the case is cleare There is no authority in Parents to revoke them thence to looke againe to their terrestriall affaires For if a Father can not withdraw his Sonne from the service of an earthly King much lesse is hee to doe it from the service of the KING of Kings Hee that putteth his hand to this Plough and looketh backe Luke 9. ult shall bee thought unfit for the Kingdome of heaven The same reason may serve for those which are advanced in the Common-weale For it is requisite that privâ—te things should stil giue way to publike To resolve the doubt then in a word A child can never be freed froÌ„ the duty either of honouring or relieving his Parents but from Cohabitation as likewise from the administration of their domesticall affaires he may Here the Pharisees then meet with this condemnation while devillishly they would disspence with their childrens honouring and relieving of their Parents Mat 15.6 so they would bestow it upon them The Church of Rome likewise hath her blame while in imitation of their errour she affirmes it lawfull for children even against the will and pleasure of their Parents if once they be come to ripenes of yeares which in a Sonne they hold to bee at 14. in a daughter at 12. to put themselves into a Monastery For 1. to doe a thing not commanded by God with an apparent violation of that which is commanded is rash and irreligious but for a childe to take upon him the profession of a Monasticall life is no Commandement of GODS whereas to bee serviceably obedient unto Parents is a manifest injunction of his he must not therefore abandon them in such a case without their free consent 2. It is against Reason and religion to offer that which is anothers unto God without the approbation of him that owes it Now children so long as they remaine under their Parents tuition are a part of their peculiar possessions and therefore not to bee disposed of as they list themselves Wee have it in the old Law Num 30.3 That if a woman shal vow a vow unto the Lord being in her Fathers house and in her youth and her father disallow her in the day that hee heares thereof not any of her vowes wherewith shee hath bound her Soule shall stand 3. If it bee rashnesse to doe a thing without the advise and consent of our Parents it must needs be wickednesse to doe it against their Wils and when they use their best endeavours to prevent it but it is rashnesse for any childe of 15. or 16. yeares to determine upon a course of life without his parents knowledge and specially upon such a kinde of life as causeth a necessary a vocation from those duties which are to bee performed unto Parents what must it bee then to doe thus against their Wils 4. And lastly For I omit many reasons which might easily bee alleaged for the conviction of this Errour The Gangrensian Council celebrated in Paphlagonia Anno 324. pronounceth for Anathema the childe that under a pretence of religion shall depart from his Parents and not give them that reverence which they may justly challengâ— How true then this Assertion of the Romanists is let every man bee Iudge Here then are condemned Marriages without consent of Parents GOD gave Eve unto Adam as having most right because he made her And this authority hee hath communicated to all Parents Rebeccah askt the consent of her Father before she would marry yea Ismael though ungracious was willing his mother should appoint him a wife Hamor entreated Iacob for Dinah Gn. 21.21 The Sechemites though uncircumcised would not commit a rape but sought the good will of those whose daughters they desired to marry And in 1 Cor. 7.36 Every Father saith the Apostle hath power over his Virgin Now what this power is the Law will shew us If a man had entised a maide and laine with her hee was to endowe her for his wâ—fe Exo. 22.16 but if the Father would not conseÌ„t he was to pay the money and yet not marry the party yea let us search the Bible throughout and we shall finde that God did alwayes absolutely interest the parents in providing Wives for their Sons Deut. 7.3 and Husbands for their Daughters Samson though the beauty of the Timnite had in a desperate manner fired his affections Iudg 14.2 durst not yet without the consent of his Father and Mother take herto wife because he knew the match would otherwise bee unwarrantable It was the Plee which Thamar used to her brother Amnon when with a violent hand hee did invade her Chastilie 1 Sam. 13.13 I pray thee speake unto the King for he will not withhold me from thee So that the law of Nature the Law of Moses and the Law of Christ require from children a particular subjection of their owne wils to that of their Parents in this kinde To these we may adde the Lawes of Nations the Constitutions of Popes the determinations of Councils all like so many severall lines uniting themselves in one and the same Center 1. The Romanes obsâ—rved it very strictly allowed no marriage to bee lawfull but what was contracted and agreed upon by the Parents of either party Yee may see the practise of it in the Comedy Terent. Andr. Act. 1 Sâ—en 1. Hac famâ impulsus Chremes Vltrò ad me venit unicam gnatam suam Cum dote summa filio uxorem ut daret Placuit despondi hic nuptiis dictus est dies Act. 1. Scen. 4. Plautus likewise in his Aulularia presents us Megadorus stipulating with Euclio for his daughter in the same manner Catullus in a Nuptiall Verse of his thus speaking to a young Damzell who out
of a foolish fancy when her Parents had provided her a match against which lay no exception utterly refused it maketh this his Plee whereby to worke the obstinacy of her Will to a more flexible temper At tu ne pugnes tali cum conjuge Virgo Non aequum est pugnare pater cui tradidit ipse Ipse pater cum matre quibus parere necesse est Virginitas non tota tua est ex parte parentum est Tertia pars patri data pars data tertia matri Tertia sola tua est noli pugnare duobus Qui genero sua jura simul cum dote dederunt Refuse not gentle maide to bee his Bride Whom thy deare Parents did for thee provide By nature thou art bound them to obey Then let not Humour Dutie oversway Nor think thy selfe sole Mistresse of that Gemme In which thou hast no interest but by them The thirds of thy virginitie belong Vnto thy father and without great wrong In other thirds thy mother hath her share Onely the thirds remaining wee declare To be at thy dispose then humbly doe As they would have thee struggle not with two But rest content his loving spouse to be Whom they would make their sonne in law by thee Secondly among the decrees of Euaristus Pope and Martyr who lived about the yeere 110. there is one in which hee plainely pronounceth those marriages to be rather whoredomes and adulteries than marriages which are not concluded by the parents Pope Vrban was of the same opinion Thirdly the Lateran Councill under PP Innoc. third Cano. 51. did peremptorily determine that wedlocke if the person were under yeeres which was otherwise performed The 4th Toletan did the like Ad uxorem lib. 2. cap. 9. Fourthly Tertullian celebrating the praises of Christian Matrimony among other excellencies in it recounts this as a chiefe that they never marry Sine consensu patrum without the consent of parents Non est virginalis pudoris eligere maritum Lib. 1. de Patri Abra. cap. 9. saith St. Ambrose It becomes not the modesty of a Virgin to be the chuser of her own husband Euripides in his Andromacha makes Hermione to answer the importunity of her sutors thus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I leave to my father the care of my marriage as a thing not at all belonging to my choyce I could produce a world of other arguments but I thinke this little essay of every severall kind enough to principle ingenious natures to the performance of their duty in this kind And therefore Children obey And so from the rule I come to the reason For this is well pleasing to the Lord. The Apostle alleageth it as a Motive to stirre up children to this duty and sure â—here can not bee a more effectuall inducement to â—eligious minds Hee doth not therefore say this your obsequiousnesse shall redound with great profit advantage to your selves or shall be pleasing to your parents but it shall bee acceptable unto Christ and to please him is everlasting happinesse But how may some object shall it appeare that this observance to our parents is so pleasing and acceptable to God our Father and to Christ our Lord I answer that it appeares two manner of waies First by the temporall reward which is annexed to that Commandement in the Decalogue which concernes the honouring of our parents being the first Commandement with promise and therefore urged by the Apostle to this end Eph. 6. 2. Againe it is evident by the temporall punishment which God himselfe hath appoynted to bee inflicted upon such as wilfully breake and violate this his mandate If a man sayth he have a stubborne and rebellious sonne Deut. 21.18 that will not obey the voyce of his father or the voyce of his mother and when they have chastened him will not hearken unto them he shall be brought unto the Elders of his City and unto the gate of the place and the men of his City shall stone him with stones that he die Yea the very heathen did acknowledge life to bee prolonged unto such as did demeane themselves piously towards their parents were of opinion that the contempt of these was to he expiated with no lesse punishment than that of the Gods Plato de legâ—b lib. 11 pag. 932. Let Children therefore obey their parents in all things for Wel pleasing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 It is not onely pleasing but wel-pleasing and from hence wee may collect these observations First that the faithfull in every good worke ought specially to looke unto the Lord not caring how it be censured by man so it bee pleasing and acceptable unto him Ludam et vilior fiam said David unto Michal I will be yet more vile 2 Sam. 6.22 when she derided him because hee danced before the Arke Secondly that there is a way to please God even by pleasing man and this may serve to hearten up the good in the performance of all family-duties as likewise to reprove the hypocrite who counteth sacrifice more pleasing to the Lord than eyther mercy or obedience For sure he will be served with obedience unto men Thirdly wee may note from hence That even in our childhood we have a meanes to endeare our selves to God For according to Hugo de S. Victore Haec paternitas est nobis Sacramentum et imago divinae paternitatis ut discat cor humanum in eo principio quod videt quid debet illi principio à quo est et non videt God hath appointed a paternity here below to serve us as a Sacrament and faire resemblance of his divine paternity above that we might learne by this Originall of ours which we see what we owe to that Originall from whence we are and see not Fourthly that even children are bound to make conscience of their waies as farre as they have reason to discerne good from ill and must endeavour to doe that which may be pleasing unto God 'T is sayd of Hieroboams diseased child That there was found some good thing in him towards the Lord God of Israel 1 Kin. 14.15 And sure it is a happy thing when young men see visions as well as old men dreame dreames Parents should begin betimes therefore to inure their children to the paths of righteousnesse and traine them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. For the workemanship of grace and obedience in the hearts and lives of children is like the graving of a Kings pallace and as soone may the character of God as that of Caesar be imprinted in those waxen yeares The children of Bethel might have bin taught as easily to have welcomm'd the Prophet with an Hosanna Blessed is he that coÌ„meth in the name of the Lord as in reproch scorne to call him Bald-pate Bald-pate as he past along And thus much concerning the duties of children toward their parents Now follow those of parents toward their children The Ground of the 2d Booke
of the second TOME Fathers provoke not your Children to anger least they be discouraged TOM II. LIB II. The duty of parents to their children THE Apostle still carries the scales in an even hand and as in the first combination belonging to the constitution of a family having principled the wife he came to direct the husband that neyther might bee defâ—ctive in the p rformance of such offices as by vertue of the nuptiall tie were mutually to passe from one to the other So here in the second which is betwixt the parent and the child he doth the like Fathers saith he provoke not your children least they be discouraged In the words we may observe two things First A prohibition Fathers provoke not your Children Secondly the cause of this prohibition least they be discouraged In the former we may consider First the persons to whom the prohibition is directed Fathers Secondly the act prohibited Provocation Thirdly the persons in whose behalfe it is prohibited Children Fathers As touching the first It may be demanded why the Apostle doth here make mention of Fathers onely not retaining the word Parents which hee had used before in exacting the obedience of children considering that fathâ—rs and mothers both are comprehended under it I answer that children are usually deficient in the tender of this duty towards their mothers 'T was necessary therefore in prescribing of the same that mothers should equally be included But very seldome or never is the tendernesse of their affections so farre exasperated against the fruite of their wombe as to looke upon it with an austere and sowre eye 'T was sufficient therefore here that fathers onely should be named as principally lyable to this Interdiction The offence of a mother is to bee more cockering than cruell Moses his wife Exod. 4.25 cal'd him a bloudy husband because he put her childe to paine though in a way which God had commanded And therefore Fathers provoke Fathers The very name implies an Argument For when he saith Fathers provoke not 'T is no other than if hee should have sayd Forbeare the doing of that which so ill beseemes the person and ought to be so farre removed from the practice of a father 'T is a title which sounds not any thing but mildnesse The Poet therefore speaking of one in whom this vertue was exceeding eminent sayth thus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 He was as milde and loving as a father And doe we not see that the very creatures are instructed by nature to be kinde and courteous towards their young Plutarch writes of the male Partridg that hee shares with the female in hatching of her egges and is the first when they come out of the shell that brings them meate The Beare and the Woolfe for want of hands wherewith with to stroke their whelps are still licking them with their tongues Yea the Dragons how pernicious so ever unto others looke smilingly upon their owne And shall we that are indued with reason bee froward and perverse to those of our owne loynes Omnes honesti mores in bestiis congregantur in homine Man is an universall Pandect and in him are congregated what ever vertues are in all the creatures Ishmael was a gibing bratte Esau a surly child and Absalom a trayterous sonne Abraham was yet loving to the one Isaac tender over the other and David most affectionate towards the third witnesse the care he had to preserve him while he lived and the lamentation which he made for him being dead In a word then having such a precept together with such pâ—eâ—edents Fathers provoke not your children And thus from the persons to whom this prohibition is directed I come to the act prohibited and that is Provocation The word in the originall is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and signifies to provoke to anger which may happen many waies to children from their fathers by abuse of their paternall power as first by words and secondly by deeds By words three manner of waies First by burdening them with precepts eyther unlawfull or unmeete unlawfull 1 Sam. 20.31 as Saul when he commanded Ionathâ—n his sonne to fetch David his innocent and harmelesse friend unto him that hee might deprive him of his life And likewise when Herodias enjoyn'd her daughter to aske of Herod who had promised with an oath to give her whatsoever shee demanded the head of Iohn the Baptist Math. â—4 8 we reade not yet that this dancing daughter was any way displeased with the bloudy mandate of her mother but had she harboured in her brest so much as a graine of piety 't would have griev'd her very soule to heare such an unjust request Againe unmeet as when the father no necessity urging him thereunto shall binde them to such servile and base imployments as beseeme not an ingenuous nature to undergoe For according to the Philosopher The rule of a father over his children should be like that of a King over his subjects grounded rather upon love than feare He should not out of an insul ing tyranny abuse their labour as the Aegyptians did that of the Israelites by tyring out their strength in workes of drudgery but make that use of it which may tend to the good of eyther Secondly fathers may provoke their children by thundering upon them undeservedly with rayling and reproachfull words For these have usually with them so sharpe a sting as will goe neere to wound the soule of the most setled patience and in this kind also was Saul injurious unto Ionathan when in his anger hee sayd unto him Thou sonne of the wicked and rebellious woman doe not I know that thou hast chosen the sonne of Ishai to thine owne confusion and to the confusion of that shamefull and ignominious wombe which brought thee forth For what should more provoke a sonne than to heare not onely himselfe reviled and disgraced but his mother likewise to bee scandalized with base invectives and made in reputation inferiour to a common Courtisan Thirdly and lastly parents may provoke their children in words by traducing their workes and weakning their desart to others and that eyther before their faces or behind their backes And indeed it hath often hapned that the father hath suspected vertue even in his childe and hath therefore laboured to weaken the reputation of it in the opinion of such as were thought to admire it or sought by bloudy practises utterly to extinguish it Solyman the fourth Emperour of the Turkish Monarchy commanded his sonne Bajazet to bee strangled by Hassan Aga together with his foure youâ—g sons one of which lying in the cradle was there murdered by an Eunuch the childe smiling in the villaines face And that which moved him to this unnaturall cruelty was onely the noblenesse of their sire which in his ambitious apprehension was gazed upon by his subjects with an eye of too much admiration The like jealousie provoked him with no lesse barbarous fury to prosecute the life of Mustapha
againe unto the Fold hee hath a Hooke as well as a Whistle And therefore as touching the later Children may likewise bee corrected Prov. 19.15 The Rod saith the Wiseman giveth wisedome but a Childe set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed Chasten thy sonne therefore Pro. 23.13 while there is hope and let not thy soule spare for his murmuring If thou smite him with the Rod he shall not die Thou shalt smite him with the Rod and shalt deliver his Soule from Hell The Caution then must bee this Not to make Food of that which should be ministred onely as Physicke Our Rebukes must bee milde and our corrections moderate Sweet Bals are best to scowre away the Dirt and behold the proceedings of our heavenly Father towards his children may serve all earthly Fathers for a Precedent whereby to fashion their practise towards theirs Hee never is so farre incensed against his as utterly to withdraw from them his fatherly kindnesse and compassion If they forsake my Law Psal 89.31 saith hee and walke not in my judgements If they breake my Statutes and keepe not my Commandements I will visit their transgression with the Rod and their iniquity with strokes I will not yet take from them my loving kindnesse nor falsifie my truth Wee must not guide the reines with too rigorous and stiffe a hand Metus hand dinturni Magister officii saith the Orator Feare is but a bad Tutor and whatsoever lesson he teacheth it is quite forgotten when we come to libertie And thus from the Persons in whose behalfe this Prohibition was awarded we follow our Apostle to the Reason upon which it is grounded 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Least they should bee discouraged It is drawne from the inconvenience which usually followes this Act of provocation And this by the word in the originall is manifested to bee wondrous great For it is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which implies three notable Evils The first is a Heavinesse of the minde whereinto children specially if they be godly religious are cast by this unseasonable severity of their Parents and from hence arise in them sundry sicknesses and diseases by which Nature is enfeebled and many times even life it selfe is abridged For as a Moth is to the garment Pro. 25.20 or a Worme to the wood so is Sadnesse to the Heart saith Salomon Parents therefore must have a speciall care to avoide this inconvenience that they may not bee thought to have begotten Children with an intent to become themselves their Executioners The second Evill contained in this word is that stupid dejection of the Spirits by which they become fearfull and unapt for any noble and ingenuous designes For finding by experience that their best observance is neglected and all that ever they can do for the pleasing of their Parents rejected as ill done they set them downe and doe no more but waxe dull and sluggish in their undertakings Now Parents must be very wary that they drive not their children into this state For Children are as it were the Armes and Hands by which their age must bee defended the Feet and Thighes by which their Weaknesse must bee underpropped and might wee not justly count him a madd man who with some Narcoticall medicine should so stupifie those parts as never to have the use of them againe Can we then thinke otherwise of those Parents who with their hardnesse and austerity so dull and stupifie their Children in their youth that they can neither helpe themselves nor them in their maturer yeares 3. And lastly this 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 carries with it especially in those that are not of a good and generous disposition a desperate kinde of contumacy For when they see no hope of pleasing they likewise cast away all care to please yea many times they assume unto themselves a boldnesse to displease and make it their sport and pastime to provoke their Parents Now this in a Childe is the very height of all impiety Parents therfore must forbeare such sowre usage as may occasion in them this impiety The Rider in breaking of a Colt doth seldome make use of the Spurre but seekes by faire and gentle meanes to ring him to a perfect pace It is the familiar managing of the Hawke that makes her forgo her savagenes A Lion may bee stroâ—ed hee will not bee strucken Kindnesse may prevaile where crabbednesse shall be excluded It is not eyther Lightning or Thunder but onely the sweet and gentle shewes which the heavens send downe upon the earth that make her fertile and willing to produce such food and fodder as is requisite for Man and Beast The Sunne by shining gently upon the Traveller made him of his own accord lay by his Garment whereas to spite as it were the blustring Windes hee girded it to him the more Vnseasonable severitie is a retraction from duty Let not Parents therefore provoke their children least they bee discouraged The vulgar Latine reads it Vt non pusillo animo fiant that they may not bee pusillanimous white-liverd or hen-spirited as wee use to say which many happen to bee having beene too much snipped in their Infancy The Philosopher gives the Reason when hee saith 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that Feare is to the Blood as cold is to the water it hinders Action and preventeth even Motion Some therefore alleage this for a reason why the Children of Israel were not presently brought into the Land of Promise because having beene bred up in the house of bondage they would not have had the courage to looke upon an Enemy Dicite pusillanimis Say unto them that are fearefull saith the Lord be strong feare not Esa 35.4 behold your God commeth with vengeance even God with a recompence will hee come and save you And thus we have done with the mutuall Duties of Children and Parents one towards the other The Ground of the first Booke of the third TOME Servants in all things obey your Masters according to the flesh not with eye-service as men pleasers but in singlenesse of Heart fearing God And whatsoever yee doe doe it heartily c. TOM III. LIB I. Having past the two first Combinations concurring to the constitution of a Familie the one whereof was betwixt the Husband and the Wife the other betwixt the Parent and the childe wee come now to the third which is betwixt the Master and the Servant whose mutuall duties one towards another being throughly expounded our Oeconomicks will be full and compleate Now here as in the two former the Apostle begins with the weakest Servants And 1. he gives them a Precept 2. Directs them in their practise In the Precept we wil first consider the Persons on whom it is imposed Servants 2. The Duty which thereby is exacted Obedience 3. The extent of this Duty how farre it is to reach and that is to all things 4. And lastly the Persons to whom it is to bee tendred Generally Masters Particularly
resolution at the first fully to ponde and examine every word of his that from them I might derive the greater weight unto mine owne In handling therefore of the two first combinations I followed his concisenesse and here where hee tooke a larger field I was forced to doe the like But why may some demand was hee so briefe in those and did so much enlarge himselfe in this I answer the reason may bee threefold 1. Because the property of Pagan servants was to cozen and defraud their Masters and in their absence like so many traitors as Cato termed them feloniously to curse and speake evill both of their persons and proceedings Witnesse that speech of one in the Comedie 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 He thought him selfe overjoy'd whâ—n hee could get but any opportunity to raile in secret upon his Master and howsoever they to whom he theÌ„ spake were converted to Christianitie it was but newly yet and any little discontentment offered them by their Masters might have made them with the dâ—g retuâ—ne to their vomit for the prevention whereof hee seekes by strong enforcements to tie them to their dutie A second reason may bee to expresse the riches of Gods mercy who despiseth not the very slave that is despised of all but seeks to make even him a lively stone for the building up of his most glorious Hierusalem and because husbands are willing to enforme their Wives parents carefull to teach their Children whereas Masters utterly neglâ—ct their Servants God to supply the defect doth here afford them a large Volume of instructions The third reason is for the comfort of servants who by this pressing of their duty may well resolve themselves of Gods affection The lover never thinkes his minde sufficiently vented and is therefore still courting the Object of his love And so it is here with God hee doth dilate himselfe in drawing them to shew that he doth much desire them A fourth and last reason may bee the intimation of his owne humanity The Physitian when hee meets with a needy Patient tels him in briefe that Kitchin physick must bee his onely remedy And so the Lawyer when hee lights upon a Thred-bare Client to shake him off the sooner makes him beleeve his cause will not bee worth the triall S. Paul teacheth them charity venting his counsell and advise more freely more fully in the behalfe of those whose inheritance in this world was nothing but the extremitie of misery than hee had done for theÌ„ that were of better qualitie as if the saving of one of those had beene a thing more meritorious than the other And thus having apologized for my tediousnesse in this point I leave the servant and come to the Master The Ground of the second Booke of the third TOME Masters give unto your servants that which is iust and equall knowing that yee also have a Master in Heaven TOM III. LIB II. THis VERSE which is made the first of the fourth Chapter I cannot liken better than to a Tree that by the violence of some earth-quake is removed out of one mans ground into an others For it should bee the period of the former and so not onely the matter of it which is oeconomicall and the fame with that in the eight Verses immediately going before but that likewise of the Verse following which is of a differing straine doth plainly shew it Chrysostome therefore Aquinas Hugo Illyricus Musculus Zanchius c. dispose of it no otherwise and we subscribing to their opinion will assume it as a part and parcell of the precedent thus then it divideth it self into two branches In the former hee shewes how Masters are to carry themselves towards their servants Yee Masters saith he do unto your servants that which is iust and equal In the latter he alleageth a Motive to induce them thereunto Knowing that yee also have a Master in heaven As touching the first In that he doth apply himselfe now to masters wee are taught that every true dispenser of Gods Word should not onely bend his endeavours to the fashioning of servants those of Inferiour ranke but should also instruct exhort and edifie Masters and Magistrates together with all those that have submitted their neckes to the yoke of Christ Againe howsoever it bee usuall with Superiours and that not without just cause to complaine of the faults of their inferiours themselves yet are seldome free from taint and from corruption The Apostle therfore would have neither Masters nor servants to upbraid each other with their imperfectioÌ„s but every one to ameÌ„d his own 2. Concerning the persons in whose behalfe this duty is here prescribed servants They may observe to their endlesse comfort the great sollicitude and care which God hath of their well-fare Hee respecteth both their soules and bodies For touching their soules No Monâ—rch hath a greater interest in the Kingdome of heaven than they if in Singlenesse of Heart they discharge those duties which hee in his diviner wisedome thought good to impose upon them As faire a recompence attends the one as the other and therefore the Apostle delivereth it with a kinde of Emphasis Servants bee obedient to your masters knowing that yee also shall receive Againe as if he were enamoured of the one hee seemes to Court their affections with the profer of his choisest Treasure and so to draw them to his Will whereas the other if yee reade and marke the Scriptures are usually driven thereunto by his most grievouâ— plagues and deadliest punishments Esay must tell the King that Tophet is prepared for him of old and it is deepe and large that the burning of it is fire and much wood and the breath of the Lord like a River of brimstone doth kindle it Eliiah must threaten Ahab that the Dogges shall eate him of his Stock that dyeth in the City and him that dyeth in the fields shall the Foules of the aire devoure He cals to the one in storme and tempest but in a soft still voice to the other Boanerges the Sonnes of Thunder are sent to shake the Cedar but Barionah the sonne of Consolation must hearten up the Shrub The state and condition of a servant in the Apostles time was enough to bruise the very heart God therefore seekes not to breake it but to binde it up Servants saith he be obedient to your masters knowing that yee also shall receive Againe to comfort servaÌ„ts in their distresse a little farther as hee shewes himself there tender over their soules so doth he here over their Bodies And because it is an easie thing for any man to abuse the power and authority which he hath over another and that there is not a more pernicious Creature than a tyrannicall and cruell master he limits even their proceedings with his precepts charging them to use those that are under their government with Iustice and Equity Yee masters doe that which is To come then to the duty it selfe it consisteth of two particulars
St. Pauls Threefold Cord VVherewith are severally combined the mutuall OEconomicall Duties Betwixt Husband Wife Parent Childe Master Servant By DANIEL TOVTEVILLE Pr. to the Charterhouse Si post fata venit gloria non propero LONDON Printed by Anne Griffin for Henry Seile and are to bee sold at his Shop at the Tygers-Head in S. Pauls Church-yard 1635. DEO OPT. MAX. ET Vniversis Anglorum Laribus The Ground of the first Booke Wives submit your selves tâ— your owne Husbands as iâ— is fit in the Lord. Col. 3.18 TOM 1. LIB 1. The duty of the Wife towards her Husband PRivate Families are the Seminaries Nurseries both of Church Common-weale for out of these must spring a seed for the propagation of the one and againe it must be so formed by godly education that it may prove a holy seede for the amplification of the other Now because in every family there is as the Philosopher hath very well observed a threefold combination Pol. i. c. 3 One betwixt the Husband and the Wife a second betwixt the Parent and the Child a third and last betwixt the Master and the Servant that nothing may happen to be disjoynted and out of frame in any following the method of St. Paul Col. 3.18 We will prescribe directions here for all and first begin with the nuptiall Bond as being the first For Adam was a husband before he was a father Secondly because from these the rest receive impression And as in a Watch if the spring be out of frame the wheeles can never goe or if they move not one an other the hammer cannot strike so where there is not a fit correspondency betwixt man and wife the rest of the family cannot but miscarry in their Motions Againe it is a thing worthy to be observed that howsoever in this yoke the husband be the more honourable of the twaine the Apostle yet requireth the duty of the wife and for this we may render a twofold reason 1. Because the tender of subjection comes from us with more difficulty than that of our affections To love is thought a pleasant and delightfull thing but to be subject to an others will is usually counted hatefull and detrected as a burden 2. Because the love of the husband depends for the most part upon the due subjection of the wife For if she vouchsafe him the one he shall be barbarous and brutish if he shall not returne her the other the wife is the person then with whom we must begin The duty whereunto she is exhorted is subjection The persons to whom this duty is to be tendred are their own husbands The motive that should induce them willingly to tender it It is comely The manner or limitation of the render it must be onely 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in the Lord. As touching the first Wives If women will but consider the manner and end of their creation they may be the more easily brought to what is heere required For as concerning the manner The woman was not made of earth as Adam was And why Nunquid deerat lutum figulo ut necesse erat pulsare latus Adami Did the Potter sayth St. Gregory want Clay that he was driven to knocke at Adams side Surely no but he would take woman out of man not out of earth that the priority and dignity of man might thereby bee established And this is the Apostles reason 1 Tim. 1.13 Adam was first formed and then Eve and in 1 Cor. 11.8 The man is not of the Woman but the Woman of the Man Againe in respect of the end She was created for mans sake For though God had made him Lord of the whole earth and given him all the creatures for his use he found not yet amongst them all a helpe meete for himselfe and therefore desired a supply He found helpers amongâ—t them but they were mute without conference brutish without reason all looking downewards But man was in honour Psal 49.20 The horse served him to ride the Asse to carry his burden These were yet no meete helpers Fuit in Adamo appetitus socii et similitudinis There was in Adam a desire of his like he would have had a companion with whom he might have discoursed of the love and prayses of his Maker but such a one found hee not Some of the Beasts drew neere to hm in reason as the Fox but none in this Cicero lib. 1. de Legib. et 1. Tuâ—ouquaest Totum hominis scientia Dei Man alone is capable of Religion So that a fit helpe for comfort conference cohabitation procreation equality he had none Every Bird had his mate Esay 34.16 There was Equus and Equa All had what man wanted God therefore out of man for man made a fit helpe Wives The word is indefinite and exempteth none The yonger women and the elder the rich and poore the noble and base are alike made liable to the performance of this duty T is not onely Ruth that must be serviceable to her Booz but even Vashti though a mighty Empresse must know her Lord. Yea though there were never so great a disproportion betwixt them in state and in condition as say the wife were a Princesse the husband but a pesant she must be yet in conjugall respects as a hand-mayd unto him he must not be as a servant unto her The dutifull respect which the glorious Virgin exhibited to Ioseph is observed in Luke 2.48 by the couching of her words in that shee sayth Thy Father and I not I and my father Ego et Rex meus I and my King is unsupportable in the Politicke and no lesse is I and my husband in the Oeconomickes It was Assuerus his edict and it is likewise Gods decree that all women great and small shall give their husbands honour For the husband is the wives head Eph. 5.24 even as Christ is the head of the Church As the Church therefore is subject unto Christ so every wife must be to her husband 1. The subjection of one Creature to an other in generall is nothing else if we consider it with relation unto God but a divine disposing and subordinating of things lesse perfect to such as are more perfect that by this subjection they may receive what they want and be forever guided and preserved in their course Or if wee take it with respect to the creature which is made subject It is inwardly a chearefull inclination outwardly a ready application of the same to that whereunto the wisedome of God himselfe hath ordained and appoynted it And this subjection is so necessary that without it the world could not long subsist yea nature herselfe would suddenly be dissolved Things sublunary and terrestriall are all subject to the power and influence of celesticall bodies and being in their owne nature defective and ignoble they must from them receive their due perfection It is the earths subjecting of her selfe unto the Sunne which first begets her fruites and
Auricula Aug. if she desire that her words should carry with them any weight credit or authority His hand and seale must be to all her actions A river so long as the course thereof is guided by the bankes runneth pleasantly and with delight but when once it disdaines those bounds and out of a swelling pride will have a larger liberty it hurteth others and defiâ—es it selfe Rosewater in a glasse is cleare and sweet but being let out it gathereth filth and loseth both the colour and the sent Mans experience is womans best eye-sight and she that rejecteth it is like a seeled Dove soares hie for a while but at length comes tumbling downe and lights in a puddle Wives therefore bee subject 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to your owne husbands In that hee saith to hubands he excludeth fornicators and in that he saith to your owne husbands he barres adulterers Some count no yoke heavy but that which in duty they are bound to beare Si iubeat coniux durum est conscendere navem Tunc sentina grauis tunc summus vertitur aer Quae moechum sequitur stom acho valet T is a hard taske for her by shipp to goe When her good-man commands it should be so The Pumpe smels ill the ayre is overcast But shee that doth to her Adulterer hast Is sound of stomach Like the Lamprie they hasten to the hissing of the Viper they make what speed they can to the call of their Lovers let these impose what taske they will it shall bee readily undergone but if their husbands command it shall be done at leasure Some one occasion or other shall still prorogue the performance All their indeavours are to endeere themselves to these But let such listen to what the Lord saith Though thou cloth thy selfe with scarlet Es 4.30 though thou decke thy selfe with ornaments of gold though thou paint thy face with colours yet shalt thou trimme thy selfe in vaine for in the end thy Lovers shall abhorre thee and seeke thy life And then shalt thou say with that harlot in Hos 2.7 I will goe and returne to my husband for at that time was I better than now This must bee the finall Rendez-vous after all her straglings That which Martiall prophesies of Dento in the Epigramme will truely bee accomplished in her Lib. 5. ep 45 Quid factum est rogo quid repente factum Ad coenam miâ—i Dento quod vocanti Quis credat quater ausus es negare Sed nec respicis fugis sequentem Quem thermis modo quaerere theatris Et conclavibus omnibus solebas Sic est captus es unctiore coena Et maior rapuit canem culina Iam te sed cito cognitum relictum Cum fastidierit propina dives Antiquae venies ad ossa coenae Good Dento tell mee what hath hapned late What hath befalne thy person or thy State That when Ibid thee home to supp with mee My suite wh'ould thinke it should reiected bee Foure severall times and which is yet more strange Thou doest not deigne one word with me to change Nay when I follow thee thou runn'st away And flyest from mee whom but the other day Thy custome was with diligence to seeke At Baths at Playes in every nooke and creeke Surely the reason 's this Some daintier fare Doth hinder thy accustomed repaire A larger Kitchin doth the Curre detaine And makes my invitations all in vaine But loe thy richer Ordinarie shall Quickly finde out thy manners and withall Leave thee and then thou shalt entreat with groanes To gnaw a fresh on thy forsaken Bones To prevent which and all other the like inconveniences Let Wives bee subiect 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to their owne husbands And thus having spoken of the persons to whom this duty must bee tendered wee will now touch at the Manner how it must be tendred 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The word in the Originall is diversly translated 1. As ye ought Vâ—oportet And so it is a Reason drawne from Gods institution Yee must doe it Vt convenit 2. As is meet What availeth it the body to have all the Members if the head bee gone The Spokes of a Wheele must be all united into one Nave or it will never serve for motion Who would not looke to have the world confounded when he should see the Moone in a higher Orbe than the Sunne GOD hath disposed all things to the best this being therefore his ordinance it is meet that Wives should bee subiect to their owne husbands 3. Vt decet Vt decet as it is comely There are 3. things saith Salomon Pro. 30.29 that order well their going yea foure are comely in thâ—ir going A Lion which is stâ—ong among beasts turneth not at the sight of any a lustie Grey-hound and a Goate and a King against whom there is no riâ—ing up To these I may add for a fift a woman that is subject to her husband For beautie is vanitie and favour is deceitfull but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall bee praysed And thus much concerning the Manner how this Duty must be tendered the limitation followeth 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 In the Lord. In the Lord .i. not absolutely or promiscuously but so farre forth as faithfull and Christian women may lawfully doe it Sic placeat uxor voluntati Coniugis saith S. Greg. Vt non displiceat voluntati Conditoris She must not so please her Mate as to displease her Maker If the husband will have the wife at any time to doe that which is ill S. Peter doth furnish her with an answer Act. 5.29 We ought to obey God rather than Men. And thus having treated of the wives duty towards her husband we will now speake of the Husbands towards the wife in which though I shall not peradventure enlarge my selfe so farre as in the former that shall bee no occasion yet of exception For what it wants in the Bulke shall bee found peradventure in the Ballance The Ground of the second Booke Husbands love your Wives and bee not bitter against them LIB II. The Husbands duty towards the Wife THE Apostle sets it out 1. By way of Affirmation Husbands love 2. By way of Negation Be not bitter As touching the former The word love hath relation there not onely to the inward Affect but likewise to the outward Effect as may be easily collected out of Ephesians 5.25 Where the love of Christ towards his Church is propounded as a patterne for imitation unto Husbands Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the Church and gave himselfe for it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 denotes the one 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the other So that the first thing here required in the Husband is an Affect of love The Fathers observe out of Deu. 33.9 That Levi regarded not his Father nor his mother hee knew not his Dutie either upwards or downwards to Children or to parents it was not
they require but what thy Lord and Maker hath ordained and let his proceedings towards Christ his one and onely Sonne provoke thee to Obedience Hee commanded him to bear the Crosse and he with all alacrity embraced it hee willed him to let his face be buffeted his Flesh ploughed up with whips and his cheekes defaced with lothsome excrements Yea hee willed him to suffâ—r every word hee spake and every miracle he wrought to bee traduced and blasphemed and he declined it not but in all things became obedient to the will of his Heavenly Father Others peradventure will object that their Parents are destitute of wisdome and discretion and therefore unfit to be obeyed in any thing they shall impose but however my answer is they are not to bee despised The Rose smels not the lesse because it springs from out a Briar Neither doth an Almond abate of his sweetnesse because of the hardnesse of his shell GOD knowes what is good for thee and hath therefore caused thee to come out of the Loynes of such that the faire tender of thy obedience might make thee a worthy spectacle to God to Angels and to men A third sort to blanch this dutie from themselves will peradventure say They are not my naturall Parents but my Stepfather or Stepmother Be it so yet even these must bee obeyed The great respect of Ruth to Naomi is sufficient to remove this cavill as likewise that of Moses to Iethro The one would not be perswaded to abandon the societie of her Mother in Law but would share with her in all occurrences the other hearkned to the voyce of his Father in law did in all things as hee directed Or if these examples be too weak look againe upon that of Christ to Ioseph Hee had no greater relation to him than that hee was betrothed to the blessed Virgin his Mother and yet hee was content to bee governed by him A fourth and last ranke to pleade exemption from what is here required will say They bee not my Parents at all but only my kindred and allies as my Vncle or my Aunt c that have had the breeding and bringing of me up It is al one thou owst this duty eveÌ„ unto them Esther was advaÌ„ced to bee a Queene she forgot not yet in the height of Majesty to shew her obedience to her Vncle Mordecai To close up this point then Children obey your Parents The next to bee discussed is the extent of this obedieÌ„ce how farre it is to reach Children obey your parents in all things In all things There must bee a limitation of this for universall and absolute Obedience is due onely to God and wee may finde it in Ephes 6.1 where the Apostle plainly expresseth what here hee leaves to bee understood Children obey your Parents in the Lord that is so far forth as is permitted by the Lord. Or thus A. Gell. lib. 2 Cap. 7. All things may bee reduced to a threefold rank For 1. some are simply good and these must bee done notwithstanding any inhibition of our Parents to the contrary and that in regard of the things themselves as likewise in regard of him that doth injoyne them For hee that listneth saith our Saviour to Father or mother more than mee is not worthy of mee 2. Some things are simply evill and these must not bee done for any strong intreaties or enforcements that can be used by our Parents because God forbids them and according to that of Saint Peter Wee are to obey him rather than men Act. 5.29 3. And lastly some things are of an indiffereÌ„t strain as neither simply good nor simply evill in these children must shew their Obedience without any reluctation how unmeet soever they may seeme to their owne apprehension In adiaphoris saith Gerson superioris judicio maximè credendum quoniam ille vice Dei tibi dicit quid expedit quid decet In matters of an indifferent nature a man must ever subscribe to the judgement of his Superiour because hee doth supply the place of God and serves as one deputed from him to tell thee what is decent and convenient to bee done Patris jussa discutere non licâ—t patris monita retractare non convenit sâ—ith Petrus Ravennas Tristior esse poterit paterni mandati species res tamen ipsa salutifera est vitalis Though the commands of our Parents may seeme to us never so harsh never so unjust so they bee not clearely convicted of impiety wee are not to reject them especially if wee bee such as are still under their governmeÌ„t and protection An excellent example wee have of this in Isaac who without any resistance either in word or deed suffered himselfe to be bound and laid upon the Altar where hee was content so far to yeeld unto the wil of his Father as to be sacrificed unto the Lord. Iude 11.36 The like did Iephtah's daughter unto him and the like should be done by every one The very placing of the fift Commandement in which this duty is required may bee sufficient to move us hereunto God hath set it before our goods yea before our lives to shew that Obedience to Parents should bee dearer unto us than â—itâ—â—â— Goods or Lives Agaâ—â—e there is annexed unto it a â—â—omise of Long life a thiâ—g so beloved of all that â—here need no other allurement For Death is hated and abhorred of Nature But here it may bee demanded whether married Children or such as are called to any publike place eyther in Church or Common-weale bee still bound to obey their Parents and how farre I answere that this filiall obedience is to receive no intermission so long as life doth last For 1. as it is 1 Tim. 2.3 it is not onely 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a good thing and to God acceptable but it is likewise 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a just thing Eph. 6.1 Wee cannot â—orbeare it without injury Christs direction therfore is this Give unto Caesar Mat. 22.21 that which is Caesar's to every one his due Tribute to whom Tribute Custome to whom Custome Feare to whom feare Rom. 3.7 Honour to whom Honour belongeth Now this is proper and peculiar unto parents as appeares by God himselfe If I bee a Father where is my honour if I bee a Master where is my feare 2. It is exacted by way of Precept Honor thy Father thy mother that thy dayes may bee long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee So that concerning the continuaÌ„ce of this duty It is to last so long as we doe live but not in the same measure nor after the same manner For such as live in their Fathers house and under their Fathers power are to be employed by their Parents both at home and abroad according as they shall thinke fit to make use of their service But as touching such as are married or called to the administration either of Church or common-weale though they