return_v to_o he_o of_o who_o i_o be_o now_o further_o to_o speak_v it_o please_v god_n to_o begin_v very_o early_o with_o he_o before_o he_o come_v to_o london_n when_o he_o be_v about_o twelve_o or_o thirteen_o year_n old_a god_n do_v often_o so_o bless_v a_o good_a education_n of_o child_n and_o will_v often_o do_v it_o if_o parent_n will_v be_v careful_a to_o do_v their_o duty_n in_o this_o particular_a with_o wisdom_n and_o faithfulness_n there_o be_v such_o discovery_n as_o i_o be_o inform_v of_o his_o serious_a godliness_n in_o his_o youth_n as_o be_v observe_v by_o many_o to_o the_o admiration_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n he_o begin_v betimes_o to_o seek_v after_o god_n and_o christ_n these_o be_v his_o best_a day_n and_o he_o comfortable_o find_v he_o who_o his_o soul_n love_v the_o pleasure_n the_o advantage_n the_o success_n and_o comfort_n of_o devotedness_n to_o god_n in_o our_o youth_n be_v beyond_o all_o expression_n when_o he_o come_v to_o london_n god_n direct_v 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direct_o to_o heaven_n from_o the_o place_n of_o public_a worship_n such_o a_o presence_n and_o power_n of_o the_o divine_a spirit_n do_v attend_v the_o gospel-ministrations_a may_v the_o residue_n of_o this_o spirit_n be_v more_o plentiful_o pour_v out_o on_o the_o minister_n of_o christ_n in_o this_o city_n and_o nation_n for_o the_o like_a effect_n on_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n he_o have_v often_o speak_v and_o write_v how_o sweet_a and_o advantageous_a a_o season_n for_o religion_n the_o time_n of_o his_o apprenticeship_n be_v what_o heavenly_a thought_n and_o meditation_n be_v frequent_o have_v in_o the_o shop_n and_o behind_o the_o counter_a he_o have_v often_o profess_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o his_o freedom_n at_o that_o time_n from_o worldly_a care_n and_o business_n it_o be_v the_o best_a time_n he_o ever_o enjoy_v for_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n in_o his_o whole_a life_n he_o have_v then_o nothing_o else_o to_o do_v but_o to_o serve_v god_n and_o please_v his_o master_n who_o 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as_o his_o mercy_n his_o sin_n the_o frame_n of_o his_o heart_n in_o duty_n gracious_a return_v of_o prayer_n special_a providence_n to_o himself_o and_o other_o etc._n etc._n he_o desire_v every_o night_n to_o lie_v down_o in_o expectation_n of_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o though_o he_o be_v in_o perfect_a health_n and_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n he_o enjoy_v a_o extraordinary_a measure_n of_o it_o for_o many_o year_n so_o that_o till_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n i_o have_v hear_v he_o say_v that_o he_o have_v not_o be_v above_o twice_o keep_v by_o sickness_n from_o hear_v a_o sermon_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n for_o the_o space_n of_o forty_o year_n to_o those_o christian_n who_o have_v full_a leisure_n for_o this_o excellent_a daily_a work_n of_o self-examination_n and_o record_v the_o result_n of_o it_o this_o course_n will_v be_v of_o unspeakable_a advantage_n but_o i_o urge_v it_o not_o upon_o all_o it_o be_v sufficient_a to_o many_o to_o renew_v their_o repentance_n for_o daily_a fail_n and_o record_v only_o the_o extraordinary_a and_o more_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o their_o life_n not_o have_v time_n to_o record_v the_o ordinary_a occurrence_n of_o every_o day_n but_o beside_o what_o he_o do_v every_o day_n he_o frequent_o set_v apart_o whole_a day_n with_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o examine_v and_o try_v the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n part_n whereof_o he_o transcribe_v afterward_o though_o but_o a_o very_a little_a part_n which_o be_v here_o add_v as_o contain_v the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a with_o the_o reason_n of_o his_o transcribe_v it_o and_o i_o be_o persuade_v he_o do_v it_o with_o great_a sincerity_n and_o humility_n the_o rather_o because_o when_o about_o a_o month_n or_o six_o week_n before_o his_o death_n he_o be_v under_o some_o darkness_n and_o cloud_n as_o to_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n and_o apprehend_v his_o time_n on_o earth_n will_v be_v but_o short_a he_o desire_v to_o discourse_v with_o i_o more_o than_o once_o about_o the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n which_o i_o shall_v always_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n in_o order_n to_o my_o make_v the_o better_a judgement_n of_o his_o case_n he_o let_v i_o see_v some_o of_o those_o paper_n write_v many_o year_n before_o but_o send_v i_o a_o letter_n the_o next_o morning_n to_o recall_v they_o mention_v his_o great_a trouble_n after_o i_o be_v go_v lest_o what_o he_o have_v do_v savour_v of_o pride_n and_o ought_v rather_o to_o have_v be_v conceal_v such_o be_v the_o tenderness_n of_o his_o conscience_n in_o this_o and_o in_o every_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v the_o less_o concern_v his_o examination_n of_o himself_o because_o you_o have_v here_o annex_v a_o short_a account_n of_o the_o manner_n of_o it_o the_o lawfulness_n of_o try_v ourselves_o by_o mark_n and_o sign_n of_o the_o truth_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v will_v not_o be_v question_v when_o it_o be_v but_o to_o evidence_n the_o sincerity_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o repentance_n and_o holy_a obedience_n while_o we_o ascribe_v unto_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n what_o belang_v to_o he_o as_o our_o great_a highpriest_n all_o that_o be_v do_v by_o christ_n without_o we_o in_o order_n to_o our_o salvation_n may_v and_o aught_o to_o be_v distinguish_v from_o what_o be_v do_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o grace_n within_o we_o because_o there_o be_v a_o manifest_a difference_n between_o what_o cause_v our_o acceptance_n with_o god_n and_o that_o which_o be_v evidential_a of_o it_o in_o order_n to_o our_o own_o comfort_n his_o example_n in_o the_o strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o conscientious_a faithfulness_n in_o his_o family-relation_n have_v be_v take_v notice_n of_o to_o the_o edification_n of_o many_o the_o
hope_v i_o desire_v to_o forsake_v all_o my_o sin_n now_o the_o scripture_n say_v 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o if_o we_o confess_v our_o sin_n he_o be_v faithful_a and_o just_a to_o forgive_v we_o our_o sin_n and_o to_o cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o unrighteousness_n and_o prov._n 28._o 13._o whoso_o confess_v and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v have_v mercy_n i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o sin_n but_o desire_v power_n against_o it_o as_o well_o as_o pardon_v of_o it_o yea_o the_o sin_n i_o be_o most_o incline_v to_o though_o my_o heart_n be_v often_o apt_a to_o go_v out_o after_o it_o the_o lord_n forgive_v it_o yet_o i_o hope_v it_o be_v my_o earnest_a desire_n that_o i_o may_v have_v strength_n against_o it_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o say_v with_o david_n psal_n 18._o 23._o i_o be_v upright_o before_o he_o and_o keep_v myself_o from_o my_o iniquity_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v from_o my_o soul_n to_o mourn_v for_o heart-sin_n as_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n and_o wander_n and_o distraction_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v this_o be_v a_o good_a sign_n that_o i_o be_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o real_o trouble_v for_o secret_a sin_n which_o the_o world_n know_v nothing_o of_o and_o that_o i_o do_v not_o allow_v sinful_a thought_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n and_o to_o lay_v to_o heart_n the_o great_a dishonour_v do_v to_o god_n by_o other_o i_o hope_v there_o be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_o a_o new_a creature_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 17._o if_o i_o be_o a_o new_a creature_n than_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n i_o hope_v so_o because_o there_o be_v such_o strive_n and_o fight_n in_o i_o against_o sin_n such_o struggle_n between_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o spirit_n there_o be_v certain_o a_o resist_n of_o sin_n if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o wonderful_o deceive_v i_o now_o mr._n n._n use_v to_o say_v it_o be_v true_a grace_n to_o resist_v sin_n it_o be_v strong_a grace_n to_o conquer_v sin_n i_o consider_v how_o it_o be_v with_o paul_n rom._n 7._o he_o say_v there_o be_v a_o law_n in_o his_o member_n warring_n against_o the_o law_n of_o his_o mind_n and_o the_o evil_a that_o he_o will_v not_o do_v that_o he_o do_v methinks_v it_o be_v so_o with_o i_o sometime_o i_o hope_v this_o strive_v and_o struggle_v be_v a_o sign_n i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o sin_n and_o trespass_n for_o a_o dead_a man_n strive_v not_o move_v not_o i_o beg_v of_o god_n often_o and_o hearty_o that_o i_o may_v be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a and_o hope_v i_o have_v from_o my_o heart_n many_o time_n pray_v with_o david_n that_o god_n will_v search_v i_o and_o try_v i_o in_o mercy_n and_o find_v out_o if_o there_o be_v any_o way_n of_o wickedness_n in_o i_o if_o there_o be_v any_o sin_n that_o lie_v hide_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o have_v be_v glad_a when_o minister_n have_v come_v to_o examination_n that_o so_o i_o may_v try_v myself_o especial_o in_o my_o young_a year_n when_o i_o hear_v mr._n n._n and_o use_v to_o try_v myself_o by_o character_n that_o he_o lay_v down_o and_o have_v then_o find_v comfort_n and_o great_a hope_n of_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o wonder_v how_o those_o that_o hear_v that_o soul-awakening_a minister_n can_v bear_v it_o if_o they_o do_v not_o find_v god_n have_v be_v at_o work_n in_o their_o soul_n i_o do_v remember_v when_o i_o be_v young_a what_o delight_n i_o take_v in_o hear_v that_o good_a man_n and_o have_v be_v as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o corner_n of_o heaven_n i_o have_v often_o have_v my_o heart_n quicken_v warm_v and_o much_o draw_v out_o to_o god_n now_o though_o to_o my_o shame_n i_o may_v write_v it_o i_o have_v abate_v much_o in_o my_o zeal_n and_o love_n to_o god_n and_o his_o way_n since_o i_o have_v have_v more_o to_o do_v with_o the_o world_n and_o a_o family_n to_o provide_v for_o yet_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v the_o day_n of_o old_a the_o year_n of_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o most_o high_a and_o hope_v i_o may_v take_v comfort_n from_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v have_v former_o remember_v where_o grace_n be_v once_o wrought_v it_o shall_v never_o be_v extinguish_v who_o christ_n love_v once_o he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o that_o god_n never_o repent_v that_o he_o give_v grace_n to_o any_o i_o hope_v though_o by_o my_o sin_n i_o have_v cause_v the_o lord_n much_o to_o depart_v from_o i_o for_o many_o year_n that_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o such_o quicken_a and_o comfort_n in_o duty_n as_o former_o yet_o that_o i_o do_v not_o content_v myself_o in_o this_o condition_n but_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o soul_n follow_v hard_o after_o god_n to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o do_v i_o hope_v prize_v a_o smile_n from_o he_o and_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n above_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o do_v often_o pray_v with_o david_n psal_n 4._o when_o other_o say_v who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o good_a that_o god_n will_v lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o i_o and_o i_o desire_v with_o the_o spouse_n to_o seek_v he_o who_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v at_o least_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o love_v i_o hope_v it_o be_v a_o good_a sign_n that_o i_o have_v frequent_a thought_n of_o god_n and_o do_v often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o he_o as_o when_o i_o lie_v down_o at_o night_n and_o awake_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o desire_v my_o first_o and_o last_o thought_n may_v be_v with_o god_n i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o desire_v to_o set_v the_o lord_n always_o before_o i_o psal_n 16._o 8._o i_o hope_v i_o be_o desirous_a and_o willing_a to_o yield_v obedience_n to_o all_o the_o commandment_n of_o god_n and_o not_o to_o pick_v and_o choose_v i_o hope_v i_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o any_o duty_n now_o christ_n say_v you_o be_v my_o disciple_n if_o you_o do_v whatsoever_o i_o command_v you_o joh._n 15._o 14._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v from_o my_o heart_n pray_v many_o time_n that_o god_n will_v make_v know_v to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o please_v he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v patient_o to_o continue_v in_o well-doing_n and_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o he_o now_o there_o be_v a_o promise_n of_o blessedness_n to_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o isa_n 30._o 18._o and_o the_o promise_n be_v rom._n 2._o 7._o to_o they_o who_o by_o patient_a continuance_n in_o well-doing_n seek_v for_o glory_n and_o honour_n and_o immortality_n that_o god_n will_v give_v eternal_a life_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v my_o will_n may_v be_v according_a to_o god_n will_n and_o will_v do_v better_a than_o i_o do_v now_o if_o i_o be_o but_o real_o willing_a though_o i_o have_v many_o fail_n and_o fall_v infinite_o short_a yet_o it_o be_v say_v 2_o cor._n 8._o 12._o where_o there_o be_v a_o willing_a mind_n it_o be_v accept_v according_a to_o what_o a_o man_n have_v and_o not_o according_a to_o what_o he_o have_v not_o and_o our_o saviour_n speak_v gracious_o to_o his_o disciple_n when_o he_o find_v they_o asleep_o mat._n 26._o 41._o the_o spirit_n true_o be_v willing_a but_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v merciful_a to_o they_o who_o be_v in_o misery_n and_o have_v sometime_o be_v glad_a of_o a_o opportunity_n though_o the_o lord_n forgive_v too_o backward_o at_o other_o time_n now_o our_o lord_n say_v bless_a be_v the_o merciful_a for_o they_o shall_v obtain_v mercy_n mat._n 5._o 7._o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o cleanse_v myself_o from_o all_o filthiness_n of_o flesh_n and_o spirit_n to_o have_v my_o heart_n purify_v now_o it_o be_v say_v bless_a be_v the_o pure_a in_o heart_n for_o they_o shall_v see_v god_n mat._n 5._o 8._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v count_v the_o cost_n what_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o to_o be_v a_o christian_a indeed_o and_o be_o full_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o let_v all_o go_v for_o he_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n and_o earnest_a prayer_n i_o hope_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n that_o if_o god_n call_v i_o to_o it_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o his_o sake_n now_o christ_n say_v he_o that_o forsake_v house_n or_o brethren_n or_o sister_n or_o father_n or_o mother_n or_o wife_n or_o child_n or_o land_n for_o his_o name_n be_v sake_n shall_v receive_v a_o hundred-fold_n and_o inherit_v everlasting_a life_n mat._n 19_o 29._o and_o he_o that_o lose_v his_o life_n shall_v find_v it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o to_o
will_v go_v mourning_n in_o this_o world_n while_o i_o have_v a_o day_n to_o live_v till_o christ_n shall_v please_v to_o cast_v a_o eye_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n on_o i_o nay_o let_v it_o come_v to_o this_o i_o can_v live_v if_o god_n be_v not_o reconcile_v if_o christ_n be_v not_o i_o my_o spirit_n fail_v if_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o relieve_v i_o there_o be_v nothing_o no_o abide_n for_o i_o unless_o he_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o peace_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v bring_v to_o this_o i_o must_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o christ_n or_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v i_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v find_v acceptance_n therefore_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n and_o let_v the_o desire_n of_o the_o soul_n rise_v up_o to_o a_o holy_a restlessness_n o_o wretched_a negligence_n that_o we_o can_v let_v the_o great_a concern_v of_o our_o soul_n lie_v at_o hazard_n all_o our_o day_n ten_o question_n to_o ask_v our_o heart_n thus_o mr._n steel_v advise_v we_o shall_v often_o commune_v with_o our_o heart_n i._o what_o have_v i_o be_v if_o now_o i_o be_o change_v i_o be_v a_o wretched_a sinner_n ii_o what_o good_a have_v i_o do_v that_o god_n may_v have_v the_o glory_n and_o i_o the_o comfort_n iii_o how_o have_v i_o do_v it_o iu._n what_o have_v i_o neglect_v the_o slothful_a servant_n be_v condemn_v who_o have_v talent_n but_o do_v no_o good_a with_o they_o what_o duty_n have_v i_o neglect_v and_o how_o many_o opportunity_n of_o do_v good_a omit_v v._o what_o state_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o sinful_a state_n in_o christ_n or_o in_o my_o sin_n if_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n he_o rule_v if_o in_o sin_n that_o reign_v vi_o what_o frame_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o worldly_a frame_n of_o heart_n vii_o what_o do_v i_o be_o i_o in_o my_o call_v and_o in_o the_o way_n of_o my_o duty_n be_o i_o now_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n viii_o whither_o be_o i_o go_v towards_o heaven_n or_o hell_n every_o moment_n i_o take_v a_o step_n to_o one_o of_o they_o ix_o how_o far_o be_o i_o on_o my_o way_n to_o heaven_n x._o what_o shall_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v salvation_n be_v to_o be_v have_v how_o shall_v i_o attain_v it_o his_o covenant_n with_o god_n o_o most_o dreadful_a god_n for_o the_o passion_n of_o thy_o son_n i_o beseech_v thou_o accept_v of_o thy_o poor_a prodigal_n now_o prostrate_v himself_o at_o thy_o door_n i_o have_v fall_v from_o thou_o by_o my_o iniquiry_n and_o be_o by_o nature_n a_o son_n of_o death_n 〈◊〉_d a_o thousand-fold_n more_o the_o child_n of_o hell_n by_o 〈◊〉_d wicked_a practice_n but_o of_o thy_o infinite_a grace_n thou_o have_v promise_v mercy_n to_o i_o in_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v but_o turn_v to_o thou_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n therefore_o upon_o the_o call_v of_o thy_o gospel_n i_o be_o now_o come_v in_o and_o throw_v down_o my_o weapon_n submit_v myself_o to_o thy_o mercy_n and_o because_o thou_o require_v as_o the_o condition_n of_o my_o peace_n with_o thou_o that_o i_o shall_v put_v away_o my_o idol_n and_o be_v at_o defiance_n with_o all_o thy_o enemy_n which_o i_o acknowledge_v i_o have_v wicked_o side_v with_o against_o thou_o i_o here_o from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n renounce_v they_o all_o firm_o covenant_v with_o thou_o not_o to_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v conscientious_o all_o the_o mean_n that_o i_o know_v thou_o have_v prescribe_v for_o the_o death_n and_o utter_a destruction_n of_o all_o my_o corruption_n and_o whereas_o i_o have_v former_o inordinate_o and_o idolatrous_o let_v out_o my_o affection_n upon_o the_o world_n i_o do_v here_o resign_v my_o heart_n to_o thou_o that_o make_v it_o humble_o protest_v before_o thy_o glorious_a majesty_n that_o it_o be_v the_o firm_a resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o that_o i_o do_v unfeigned_o desire_v grace_n from_o thou_o that_o when_o thou_o shall_v call_v i_o hereunto_o i_o may_v practice_v this_o my_o resolution_n through_o thy_o assistance_n to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o to_o turn_v from_o thou_o to_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o will_v watch_v against_o all_o its_o temptation_n whether_o of_o prosperity_n or_o adversity_n lest_o they_o shall_v withdraw_v my_o heart_n from_o thou_o beseech_v thou_o also_o to_o help_v i_o against_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n to_o who_o wicked_a suggestion_n i_o resolve_v by_o thy_o grace_n never_o to_o yield_v myself_o a_o servant_n and_o because_o my_o own_o righteousness_n be_v but_o menstruous_a rag_n i_o renounce_v all_o confidence_n therein_o and_o acknowledge_v that_o i_o be_o of_o myself_o a_o hopeless_a helpless_a undo_v creature_n without_o righteousness_n or_o strength_n and_o for_o as_o much_o as_o thou_o have_v of_o thy_o bottomless_a mercy_n offer_v most_o gracious_o to_o i_o wretched_a sinner_n to_o be_v again_o my_o god_n through_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v accept_v of_o thou_o i_o call_v heaven_n and_o earth_n to_o record_v this_o day_n that_o i_o do_v here_o solemn_o avouch_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n and_o with_o all_o possible_a veneration_n bow_v the_o neck_n of_o my_o soul_n under_o the_o foot_n of_o thy_o most_o sacred_a majesty_n i_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o the_o lord_n jehovah_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n for_o my_o portion_n and_o chief_a good_a and_o do_v give_v up_o myself_o body_n and_o soul_n for_o thy_o servant_n promise_v and_o vow_v to_o serve_v thou_o in_o holiness_n and_o righteousness_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v appoint_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o only_a mean_n of_o come_v unto_o thou_o i_o do_v here_o upon_o the_o bend_a knee_n of_o my_o soul_n accept_v of_o he_o as_o the_o only_a new_a and_o live_a way_n by_o which_o sinner_n may_v have_v access_n to_o thou_o and_o do_v here_o solemn_o join_v myself_o in_o a_o marriage-covenant_n to_o he_o o_o bless_a jesus_n i_o come_v to_o thou_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a and_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a and_o blind_a and_o naked_a a_o most_o loathsome_a pollute_a wretch_n a_o guilty_a condemn_a malefactor_n unworthy_a for_o ever_o to_o wash_v the_o foot_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o my_o lord_n much_o more_o to_o be_v solemn_o marry_v to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n but_o since_o such_o be_v thy_o unparalleled_a love_n i_o do_v here_o with_o all_o my_o power_n accept_v thou_o and_o do_v take_v thou_o for_o my_o head_n and_o husband_n for_o better_a for_o worse_o for_o rich_a for_o poor_a for_o all_o time_n and_o condition_n to_o love_v and_o honour_n and_o obey_v thou_o before_o all_o other_o and_o this_o to_o the_o death_n i_o embrace_v thou_o in_o all_o thy_o office_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o worthiness_n and_o do_v here_o avow_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o righteousness_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o wisdom_n and_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o for_o my_o only_a guide_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o will_n and_o take_v thy_o will_n for_o my_o law_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v suffer_v if_o i_o will_v reign_v i_o do_v here_o covenant_n with_o thou_o to_o take_v my_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v with_o thou_o and_o by_o thy_o grace_n assist_v to_o run_v all_o hazard_n with_o thou_o very_o purpose_v that_o neither_o life_n nor_o death_n shall_v part_v between_o thou_o and_o i_o and_o because_o thou_o have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o thy_o holy_a law_n as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o life_n and_o the_o way_n in_o which_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o thy_o kingdom_n i_o do_v here_o willing_o put_v my_o neck_n under_o thy_o yoke_n and_o set_v my_o shoulder_n to_o thy_o burden_n and_o subscribe_v to_o all_o thy_o law_n as_o holy_a just_a and_o good_a i_o solemn_o take_v they_o as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o word_n thought_n and_o action_n promise_v that_o though_o my_o flesh_n contradict_v and_o rebel_v yet_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o order_n and_o govern_v my_o whole_a life_n according_a to_o thy_o direction_n and_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v my_o duty_n only_o because_o through_o the_o frailty_n of_o my_o flesh_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o many_o fail_n i_o be_o bold_a humble_o to_o protest_v that_o unallow_v miscarriage_n contrary_a to_o the_o settle_a bent_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n shall_v not_o make_v void_a this_o covenant_n for_o so_o thou_o have_v say_v now_o almighty_a god_n searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n thou_o know_v that_o i_o make_v this_o covenant_n with_o thou_o this_o day_n without_o any_o know_a guile_n or_o reservation_n beseech_v thou_o that_o if_o thou_o espie_v any_o flaw_n
sin_n especial_o of_o lie_v and_o steal_v and_o play_v upon_o the_o sabbath-day_n i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o good_a book_n to_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o as_o when_o i_o read_v that_o scripture_n that_o except_o we_o repent_v we_o shall_v all_o perish_v except_o we_o be_v bear_v again_o we_o can_v see_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n etc._n etc._n i_o think_v these_o do_v not_o concern_v i_o because_o i_o be_v guilty_a of_o no_o gross_a sin_n i_o reckon_v my_o condition_n be_v good_a and_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o pity_v other_o but_o i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o the_o corruption_n and_o defilement_n of_o my_o nature_n i_o do_v not_o see_v the_o need_n of_o a_o change_n i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o my_o undo_a condition_n without_o christ_n i_o see_v not_o his_o excellency_n nor_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o i_o know_v not_o upon_o what_o term_n i_o must_v take_v he_o if_o i_o will_v be_v save_v as_o to_o the_o outward_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o live_v in_o the_o performance_n of_o many_o of_o they_o but_o as_o for_o the_o more_o inward_a and_o spiritual_a duty_n of_o christianity_n such_o as_o self-examination_n meditation_n self-denial_n mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o watch_v over_o my_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n etc._n etc._n to_o these_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n thus_o i_o go_v on_o in_o rebellion_n against_o god_n have_v a_o form_n of_o godliness_n but_o deny_v the_o power_n and_o if_o god_n have_v then_o cut_v i_o off_o in_o my_o unregeneracy_n certain_o hellfire_n must_v have_v be_v my_o portion_n he_o may_v have_v swear_v in_o his_o wrath_n that_o i_o shall_v never_o enter_v into_o his_o rest_n o_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n and_o forbearance_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o such_o a_o sinful_a creature_n it_o be_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n i_o be_o yet_o on_o this_o side_n the_o grave_a and_o hell_n it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o i_o be_o spare_v so_o long_o and_o that_o he_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v afford_v i_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o strive_v with_o i_o and_o give_v i_o many_o conviction_n and_o all_o to_o reclaim_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o himself_o and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v but_o a_o heart_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o stand_v wait_v and_o knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n so_o many_o year_n call_v on_o i_o to_o repent_v but_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n this_o be_v undeserved_a love_n and_o distinguish_a mercy_n for_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n and_o have_v nothing_o but_o my_o misery_n to_o move_v his_o compassion_n i_o walk_v according_a to_o the_o course_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v insensible_a of_o my_o danger_n though_o ready_a to_o drop_v into_o hell_n every_o moment_n and_o i_o shall_v certain_o have_v perish_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o burn_a and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n for_o which_o i_o can_v never_o sufficient_o adore_v and_o praise_v his_o glorious_a grace_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o a_o vile_a sinful_a creature_n great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n which_o make_v i_o say_v with_o david_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o way_n and_o means_n whereby_o he_o be_v please_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o manner_n of_o my_o conversion_n which_o i_o hope_n be_v true_a and_o real_a be_v as_o follow_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o sad_a providence_n viz._n the_o sickness_n at_o london_n to_o bring_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n and_o his_o family_n from_o thence_o to_o my_o father_n house_n where_o they_o continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n my_o uncle_n be_v a_o good_a man_n i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o his_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v sure_o the_o way_n that_o i_o be_o in_o will_v never_o bring_v i_o to_o heaven_n i_o think_v i_o must_v live_v another_o manner_n of_o life_n if_o ever_o i_o will_v be_v save_v i_o have_v many_o conviction_n but_o there_o i_o stay_v but_o go_v no_o further_o i_o keep_v on_o in_o my_o former_a careless_a course_n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o the_o plague_n at_o london_n my_o uncle_n return_v with_o his_o family_n and_o i_o go_v with_o he_o and_o continue_v at_o his_o house_n about_o two_o month_n in_o which_o time_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o follow_v i_o with_o new_a conviction_n partly_o by_o the_o good_a example_n of_o my_o uncle_n partly_o by_o many_o excellent_a sermon_n which_o i_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v there_o so_o that_o i_o begin_v in_o good_a earnest_n to_o look_v after_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o say_v with_o the_o gaoler_n what_o must_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o hear_v the_o word_n i_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o hear_v and_o give_v attention_n to_o what_o be_v preach_v after_o another_o manner_n than_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o labour_v to_o make_v application_n of_o it_o to_o myself_o i_o hear_v mr._n vincent_n preach_v upon_o heb._n 12._o 14._o follow_v holiness_n without_o which_o no_o man_n shall_v see_v the_o lord_n urge_v the_o necessity_n of_o it_o as_o the_o only_a way_n to_o heaven_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v therewith_o and_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o must_v set_v about_o the_o work_n of_o a_o thorough_a repentance_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o original_a corruption_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o thousand_o of_o actual_a sin_n those_o which_o before_o i_o count_v small_a i_o now_o look_v upon_o as_o great_a and_o upon_o myself_o by_o reason_n of_o sin_n to_o be_v in_o a_o lamentable_a condition_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o get_v out_o of_o this_o sinful_a miserable_a state_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o name_n under_o heaven_n by_o which_o i_o can_v be_v save_v but_o only_o by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o he_o and_o his_o favour_n i_o shall_v be_v save_v but_o i_o fear_v god_n will_v not_o thus_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o because_o i_o have_v go_v on_o so_o long_o in_o sin_n i_o hear_v a_o excellent_a sermon_n upon_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a load_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v prove_v first_o that_o sin_n be_v a_o burden_n and_o second_o that_o burden_a sinner_n be_v invite_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o then_o that_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o shall_v find_v rest_n for_o their_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o suitable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o in_o for_o i_o feel_v sin_n to_o be_v a_o burden_n no_o my_o conscience_n and_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v rest_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o want_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n to_o be_v interest_v in_o he_o i_o begin_v to_o see_v his_o worth_n and_o excellency_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a and_o then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o i_o have_v hungering_n and_o thirsting_n after_o he_o so_o that_o i_o can_v say_v none_o but_o christ_n give_v i_o christ_n or_o else_o i_o die_v thus_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o his_o spirit_n to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o degree_n to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o let_v in_o some_o spiritual_a light_n into_o my_o understanding_n which_o be_v dark_a before_o and_o to_o give_v some_o spiritual_a life_n to_o my_o affection_n which_o be_v dead_a before_o but_o o_o the_o enemy_n that_o do_v then_o labour_n to_o hinder_v my_o conversion_n and_o stop_v this_o work_n the_o world_n by_o allurement_n and_o discouragement_n seek_v to_o keep_v i_o off_o from_o christ_n my_o own_o deceitful_a heart_n and_o corrupt_a disposition_n within_o i_o be_v no_o small_a enemy_n and_o hindrance_n to_o the_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o devil_n the_o great_a adversary_n of_o god_n glory_n and_o our_o happiness_n come_v like_o a_o roar_a lion_n ready_a to_o devour_v i_o so_o that_o i_o
bear_v the_o cross_n as_o well_o as_o receive_v the_o crown_n now_o it_o be_v say_v if_o we_o suffer_v with_o he_o we_o shall_v also_o reign_v with_o he_o 2_o tim._n 2._o 12._o these_o thing_n it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n as_o some_o ground_n of_o hope_n that_o my_o state_n be_v good_a i_o enter_v these_o thing_n here_o aug._n 11._o 1676._o now_o my_o intention_n be_v if_o it_o please_v god_n to_o make_v use_n of_o other_o help_n and_o search_v my_o heart_n by_o they_o and_o enter_v they_o down_o here_o that_o i_o may_v have_v resort_n to_o they_o in_o a_o time_n of_o need_n anâ—_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o further_o in_o this_o great_a work_n of_o self-examination_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v for_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n have_v endeavour_v to_o search_v my_o heart_n thorough_o after_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o god_n i_o hope_v i_o find_v the_o evidence_n of_o grace_n in_o i_o that_o mr._n allen_n have_v lay_v down_o which_o be_v these_o 1._o where_o there_o be_v true_a grace_n there_o be_v a_o hearty_a willingness_n to_o part_v with_o every_o sin_n where_o ever_o there_o be_v this_o breach_n make_v between_o sin_n and_o the_o soul_n it_o be_v grace_n that_o have_v make_v it_o when_o sin_n have_v lose_v the_o will_n it_o have_v lose_v the_o man_n when_o christ_n have_v gain_v the_o will_n he_o have_v gain_v the_o man._n give_v i_o thy_o heart_n be_v the_o same_o as_o be_v willing_a to_o be_v i_o reason_n say_v i_o ought_v to_o turn_v conscience_n say_v i_o must_v turn_v and_o yet_o nothing_o may_v follow_v but_o when_o the_o heart_n say_v i_o will_v turn_v to_o god_n than_o the_o work_n be_v do_v reason_n say_v these_o idol_n ought_v not_o to_o stand_v conscience_n say_v these_o lust_n must_v be_v subdue_v but_o when_o the_o will_n say_v to_o they_o get_v you_o hence_o there_o be_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n begin_v this_o willingness_n discover_v itself_o to_o be_v prevail_v first_o when_o a_o man_n be_v true_o willing_a to_o part_v with_o sin_n there_o will_v be_v resolution_n against_o it_o he_o take_v part_n with_o god_n against_o sin_n and_o use_v all_o mean_n for_o the_o conquer_a of_o it_o second_o this_o resolution_n will_v bring_v forth_o resistance_n a_o heart_n weary_a of_o sin_n will_v fall_v to_o strive_v against_o sin_n gal._n 5._o 17._o the_o flesh_n lust_v against_o the_o spirit_n and_o the_o spirit_n against_o the_o flesh_n those_o two_o be_v contrary_a one_o to_o the_o other_o 2._o where_o ever_o there_o be_v true_a grace_n there_o be_v a_o prefer_n in_o the_o esteem_n and_o choice_n of_o a_o strict_a and_o sincere_a godly_a life_n above_o any_o other_o life_n in_o the_o world_n though_o the_o foolish_a world_n run_v a_o mad_n after_o money_n and_o pleasure_n spend_v their_o day_n waste_v their_o life_n prostitute_v their_o conscience_n throw_v away_o their_o soul_n upon_o these_o thing_n yet_o one_o drachm_n of_o godliness_n one_o day_n spend_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v better_a than_o all_o this_o psal_n 4._o 6._o there_o be_v many_o that_o say_v who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o good_a but_o lord_n lift_v thou_o up_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n on_o i_o say_v a_o gracious_a soul_n thou_o have_v put_v gladness_n in_o my_o heart_n more_o than_o in_o the_o time_n when_o their_o corn_n and_o wine_n increase_v psal_n 17._o 14_o 15._o the_o man_n of_o the_o world_n have_v their_o portion_n in_o this_o life_n their_o belly_n thou_o fille_v with_o thy_o hide_a treasure_n they_o be_v full_a of_o child_n and_o leave_v the_o rest_n of_o their_o substance_n to_o their_o babe_n but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o will_v behold_v thy_o face_n in_o righteousness_n i_o shall_v be_v satisfy_v when_o i_o awake_v in_o thy_o likeness_n the_o man_n of_o this_o world_n as_o they_o seek_v so_o they_o have_v their_o portion_n in_o this_o life_n they_o have_v a_o gallant_a time_n of_o it_o here_o great_a portion_n great_a prosperity_n enough_o to_o spend_v on_o themselves_o and_o leave_v to_o their_o child_n after_o they_o this_o they_o have_v and_o much_o good_a may_v it_o do_v they_o let_v i_o but_o behold_v the_o face_n of_o god_n in_o righteousness_n walk_v before_o the_o lord_n in_o my_o integrity_n keep_v a_o good_a conscience_n live_v in_o the_o obedience_n of_o his_o will_n and_o in_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o then_o let_v they_o take_v the_o corn_n and_o wine_n and_o what_o else_o they_o can_v get_v let_v the_o lord_n be_v i_o and_o i_o shall_v never_o envy_v they_o their_o portion_n psal_n 119._o 30._o i_o have_v choose_v the_o way_n of_o truth_n v._n 111._o thy_o testimony_n have_v i_o take_v as_o my_o heritage_n for_o ever_o observe_v 1._o that_o a_o godly_a man_n settle_a judgement_n be_v that_o a_o godly_a life_n be_v the_o best_a and_o happy_a life_n 2._o that_o a_o godly_a man_n choice_n be_v according_a to_o his_o judgement_n he_o esteem_v the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n above_o gold_n and_o he_o choose_v it_o before_o gold_n he_o be_v better_a please_v and_o do_v rather_o take_v up_o with_o the_o mean_a and_o most_o afflict_a condition_n in_o a_o way_n of_o holiness_n than_o with_o the_o most_o plentiful_a and_o prosperous_a estate_n in_o a_o way_n of_o sin_n he_o prefer_v the_o poverty_n of_o christ_n before_o the_o riches_n of_o the_o world_n 3._o godly_a man_n and_o worldly_a man_n may_v be_v know_v one_o from_o the_o other_o by_o the_o choice_n they_o make_v for_o themselves_o he_o that_o make_v a_o worldly_a choice_n be_v a_o worldly_a man_n and_o he_o that_o make_v a_o godly_a choice_n be_v a_o godly_a man._n 3._o whosoever_o have_v true_a grace_n do_v actual_o live_v a_o godly_a life_n the_o tree_n be_v best_a know_v by_o its_o fruit_n the_o sincerity_n of_o our_o purpose_n by_o our_o performance_n he_o that_o do_v righteousness_n be_v righteous_a 1_o joh._n 3._o 7._o a_o godly_a man_n make_v godliness_n the_o business_n of_o his_o life_n religion_n be_v a_o christian_n trade_n a_o man_n trade_n be_v his_o constant_a work_n and_o not_o the_o exercise_n of_o now_o and_o then_o a_o day_n or_o two_o godliness_n be_v a_o christian_n be_v daily_a walk_n do_v not_o inquire_v only_o about_o your_o affection_n what_o your_o desire_n be_v or_o what_o your_o joy_n be_v what_o your_o comfort_n be_v or_o what_o your_o peace_n be_v but_o what_o your_o path_n be_v when_o all_o come_v to_o all_o this_o be_v the_o sure_a mark_n he_o that_o have_v righteousness_n be_v righteous_a he_o that_o do_v not_o righteousness_n be_v not_o of_o god_n mr._n sheppard_n in_o his_o sincere_a convert_n lay_v down_o three_o mark_n wherein_o a_o child_n of_o god_n go_v beyond_o a_o hypocrite_n and_o i_o have_v examine_v my_o heart_n hope_v i_o find_v they_o in_o i_o 1._o no_o hypocrite_n or_o unregenerate_a man_n though_o he_o go_v never_o so_o far_o let_v he_o do_v never_o so_o much_o but_o he_o live_v in_o one_o sin_n or_o other_o secret_a or_o open_a little_a or_o great_a now_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o live_v in_o any_o sin_n 2._o no_o hypocrite_n no_o unregenerate_a man_n ever_o come_v to_o be_v poor_a in_o spirit_n and_o to_o be_v carry_v off_o from_o all_o duty_n unto_o christ_n in_o regard_n of_o dependence_n and_o trust_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o they_o to_o forsake_v and_o break_v loose_a for_o ever_o from_o all_o sin_n yet_o here_o they_o stick_v they_o seek_v to_o save_v themselves_o by_o their_o duty_n without_o christ_n now_o if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o very_o much_o deceive_v i_o i_o desire_v to_o renounce_v all_o thing_n and_o rest_v only_o on_o christ_n 3._o if_o any_o unregenerate_a man_n come_v unto_o christ_n he_o never_o take_v up_o his_o rest_n in_o christ_n only_o but_o he_o will_v have_v christ_n and_o the_o world_n too_o be_v not_o content_a with_o christ_n alone_o but_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v content_a with_o christ_n alone_o and_o to_o say_v as_o the_o martyr_n none_o but_o christ_n none_o but_o christ_n mr._n d._n in_o his_o book_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n to_o prove_v that_o one_o have_v a_o principle_n of_o spiritual_a life_n and_o be_v not_o dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n write_v thus_o can_v thou_o groan_v and_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o a_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o will_v nothing_o quiet_a and_o still_v thou_o but_o jesus_n christ_n then_o sure_o thou_o do_v live_v all_o the_o creature_n can_v quiet_v thou_o till_o thou_o have_v hope_n that_o christ_n be_v form_v in_o thou_o sure_o i_o find_v this_o sign_n of_o spiritual_a life_n in_o i_o again_o do_v thou_o grow_v it_o may_v be_v thou_o can_v not_o say_v thou_o have_v more_o grace_n but_o
this_o thou_o find_v thou_o have_v more_o desire_n after_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o grace_n be_v thou_o not_o only_o thankful_a for_o a_o little_a grace_n but_o art_n reach_v after_o more_o do_v thou_o grow_v more_o weary_a of_o thy_o sin_n and_o more_o earnest_a after_o christ_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o that_o i_o be_o more_o weary_a of_o sin_n and_o desire_v more_o grace_n now_o growth_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o life_n again_o put_v this_o question_n to_o thyself_o do_v i_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n this_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o spiritual_a life_n dead_a man_n do_v not_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n now_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n and_o nothing_o but_o himself_o will_v content_v i_o again_o ask_v thy_o soul_n do_v i_o love_v god_n and_o christ_n or_o do_v i_o not_o these_o mark_v he_o give_v of_o love_n to_o christ_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o be_o grieve_v at_o thy_o absence_n and_o be_o rejoice_v at_o thy_o presence_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v like_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v the_o place_n and_o duty_n where_o thou_o be_v wont_a to_o meet_v thy_o people_n and_o warm_v their_o heart_n but_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o there_o i_o can_v take_v up_o content_o with_o they_o lord_n i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v but_o i_o be_o grieve_v when_o thou_o be_v dishonour_v by_o myself_o or_o other_o though_o i_o grieve_v for_o this_o less_o than_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o love_v thou_o less_o than_o i_o ought_v lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o desire_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n that_o shall_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o thou_o thing_n sinful_a in_o themselves_o at_o all_o time_n and_o thing_n lawful_a when_o thou_o call_v i_o to_o it_o once_o more_o i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o will_v have_v a_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o long_o and_o look_v for_o thy_o come_v and_o appearance_n in_o glory_n mr._n ambrose_n direct_v to_o try_v our_o title_n to_o heaven_n advise_v first_o to_o write_v down_o the_o scripture-marks_a or_o grace_n or_o glory_n and_o mention_n these_o several_a scripture_n follow_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 3._o hereby_o we_o know_v that_o we_o know_v he_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o commandment_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 12._o for_o our_o rejoice_n be_v this_o the_o testimony_n of_o our_o conscience_n that_o in_o godly_a simplicity_n and_o sincerity_n we_o have_v have_v our_o conversation_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o joh._n 3._o 9_o 10._o whosoever_o be_v bear_v of_o god_n sin_v not_o because_o his_o seed_n abide_v in_o he_o neither_o can_v he_o sin_v because_o he_o be_v bear_v of_o god_n in_o this_o the_o child_n of_o god_n be_v manifest_a etc._n etc._n 1_o joh._n 4._o 13._o hereby_o we_o know_v that_o we_o dwell_v in_o he_o and_o he_o in_o we_o because_o he_o have_v give_v we_o of_o his_o spirit_n 1_o joh._n 3._o 14._o we_o know_v that_o we_o have_v pass_v from_o death_n to_o life_n because_o we_o love_v the_o brethren_n james_n 1._o 12._o there_o be_v a_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o lord_n have_v promise_v to_o they_o that_o love_v he_o but_o above_o all_o observe_v these_o text_n follow_v as_o contain_v the_o special_a gospel-condition_n to_o which_o we_o find_v so_o often_o annex_v the_o promise_n of_o justification_n and_o glorification_n joh._n 3._o 16._o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 5._o 24._o he_o that_o believe_v have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n but_o be_v pass_v from_o death_n unto_o life_n joh._n 6._o 40._o and_o this_o be_v the_o will_n of_o he_o that_o send_v i_o that_o every_o one_o that_o see_v the_o son_n and_o believe_v in_o he_o may_v have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 20._o 31._o these_o thing_n be_v write_v that_o you_o may_v believe_v that_o jesus_n be_v the_o christ_n the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o believe_v you_o may_v have_v life_n through_o his_o name_n act_n 16._o 31._o believe_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o thou_o shall_v be_v save_v rom._n 10._o 9_o 10._o if_o thou_o shall_v confess_v with_o thy_o mouth_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o shall_v believe_v in_o thy_o heart_n that_o god_n have_v raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a thou_o shall_v be_v save_v heb._n 10._o 39_o we_o be_v not_o of_o they_o who_o draw_v back_o unto_o perdition_n but_o of_o they_o that_o believe_v to_o the_o save_n of_o the_o soul_n 1_o joh._n 5._o 13._o these_o thing_n have_v i_o write_v unto_o you_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v know_v that_o you_o have_v eternal_a life_n from_o the_o first_o text_n we_o gather_v the_o scripture_n mark_v of_o universal_a obedience_n from_o the_o second_o sincerity_n from_o the_o three_o opposition_n against_o and_o abstinence_n from_o sin_n from_o the_o four_o spiritual_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n from_o the_o five_o a_o love_n of_o the_o brethren_n from_o the_o six_o a_o love_n of_o christ_n from_o all_o the_o rest_n faith_n in_o christ_n the_o root_n and_o spring_n of_o all_o other_o grace_n and_o necessary_a condition_n of_o pardon_n and_o eternal_a life_n proceed_v we_o now_o to_o put_v the_o question_n to_o ourselves_o but_o be_v sure_o to_o state_n it_o aright_o let_v it_o not_o be_v whether_o there_o be_v any_o good_a in_o we_o at_o all_o for_o so_o we_o shall_v err_v on_o the_o one_o hand_n nor_o yet_o whether_o we_o have_v such_o and_o such_o a_o degree_n and_o measure_n of_o grace_n for_o so_o we_o shall_v err_v on_o the_o other_o hand_n but_o whether_o according_a to_o the_o forementioned_a scripture_n such_o and_o such_o a_o save_a grace_n be_v in_o we_o or_o not_o now_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n his_o help_n to_o try_v the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n by_o what_o follow_v this_o 17_o of_o august_n 1676._o and_o i_o do_v hope_n i_o find_v the_o true_a mark_n of_o save_a grace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o desire_v here_o to_o enter_v they_o down_o that_o i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o it_o in_o time_n of_o need_n and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o be_v sincere_a 1._o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o respect_v to_o and_o do_v observe_v all_o god_n commandment_n do_v thou_o keep_v the_o law_n in_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n though_o not_o in_o gradual_a perfection_n do_v thou_o know_v god_n in_o part_n and_o love_n god_n true_o by_o a_o sincere_a obedience_n do_v thou_o keep_v the_o commandment_n in_o a_o evangelical_n sense_n and_o wherein_o thou_o fail_v do_v thou_o acknowledge_v thy_o fail_n and_o rely_v upon_o christ_n for_o pardon_n be_v thy_o universal_a obedience_n internal_a and_o spiritual_a as_o well_o as_o external_a be_v thy_o delight_n in_o the_o law_n of_o god_n after_o the_o inward_a man_n be_v thy_o obedience_n to_o the_o duty_n of_o both_o table_n do_v thou_o make_v conscience_n of_o particular_a duty_n in_o every_o relation_n 2._o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o sincerity_n and_o uprightness_n of_o heart_n be_v there_o a_o powerful_a change_n of_o the_o whole_a man_n by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n do_v thou_o do_v what_o be_v good_a upon_o this_o account_n because_o god_n command_v it_o not_o because_o it_o will_v agree_v with_o thy_o end_n and_o advantage_n but_o because_o god_n have_v require_v it_o be_v thou_o diligent_a and_o conscientious_a in_o secret_a duty_n to_o perform_v they_o and_o in_o spiritual_a or_o heart_n sin_n and_o secret_a lust_n to_o avoid_v they_o do_v thou_o serve_v god_n in_o spirit_n do_v thou_o eye_n god_n whether_o in_o private_a or_o public_a do_v thou_o set_v thyself_o zealous_o against_o those_o sin_n thou_o be_v most_o incline_v unto_o do_v thou_o hate_v sin_n most_o in_o thyself_o and_o in_o those_o that_o be_v near_a unto_o thou_o have_v thou_o respect_v to_o all_o god_n commandment_n but_o yet_o to_o the_o duty_n of_o the_o first_o table_n before_o the_o second_o to_o the_o command_v of_o great_a duty_n before_o those_o of_o lesser_a duty_n or_o if_o in_o all_o these_o particular_n thou_o find_v not_o such_o a_o uprightness_n as_o have_v no_o deceit_n or_o falsehood_n or_o carnal_a respect_n at_o all_o join_v with_o it_o for_o as_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v but_o in_o part_n so_o be_v we_o sincere_a and_o upright_o but_o in_o part_n be_v thou_o humble_v under_o thy_o hypocrisy_n and_o spiritual_a guile_n and_o do_v thou_o trust_v only_o to_o christ_n and_o do_v thou_o cry_v as_o david_n do_v for_o truth_n in_o the_o
inward_a part_n do_v thou_o observe_v the_o frame_n of_o thy_o heart_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o none_o but_o god_n know_v 3._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o oppose_v and_o abstain_v from_o sin_n and_o be_v this_o opposition_n and_o abstinence_n settle_v and_o fix_v in_o thy_o heart_n not_o only_o for_o some_o fit_n and_o season_n but_o be_v it_o the_o habitual_a inclination_n of_o thy_o soul_n be_v there_o in_o thou_o a_o difficulty_n yea_o a_o kind_n of_o impossibility_n to_o sin_n with_o wilfulness_n and_o purpose_a continuance_n or_o with_o such_o a_o universal_a consent_n of_o soul_n as_o wicked_a man_n do_v and_o do_v this_o impossibility_n to_o sin_n arise_v from_o a_o kindly_a work_n of_o grace_n within_o and_o not_o from_o any_o terrible_a restraint_n upon_o thy_o conscience_n without_o do_v thou_o in_o good_a measure_n and_o by_o degree_n not_o only_o leave_v outward_a gross_a sin_n but_o even_o conquer_v and_o crucify_v the_o inward_a body_n of_o sin_n do_v thou_o oppose_v and_o leave_v sin_n because_o of_o the_o evil_a nature_n of_o sin_n because_o it_o be_v contrary_a to_o god_n be_v the_o bent_n and_o inclination_n of_o thy_o heart_n against_o sin_n universal_o do_v thou_o with_o paul_n bewail_v the_o evil_a motion_n of_o thy_o heart_n do_v thou_o with_o hezekiah_n humble_v thyself_o for_o the_o pride_n of_o thy_o heart_n be_v pride_n unbelief_n earthliness_n and_o the_o several_a lust_n of_o thy_o soul_n discover_v and_o crucify_v do_v thou_o abhor_v secret_a sin_n as_o well_o as_o public_a and_o fear_n god_n knowledge_n of_o thy_o sin_n more_o than_o all_o the_o world_n do_v thou_o abhor_v and_o lament_v defect_n in_o holy_a ordinance_n as_o well_o as_o gross_a sin_n neglect_v of_o holy_a duty_n lukewarmness_n and_o distraction_n therein_o do_v thou_o not_o only_o oppose_v sin_n in_o thyself_o but_o set_v against_o it_o in_o other_o do_v thou_o choose_v rather_o to_o suffer_v affliction_n with_o the_o people_n of_o god_n than_o to_o sin_n against_o god_n be_v thou_o such_o a_o one_o that_o thou_o can_v not_o sin_v as_o other_o thou_o dare_v not_o sin_n thou_o have_v a_o averseness_n to_o sin_n do_v thou_o not_o live_v in_o a_o course_n of_o know_a sin_n thou_o sin_v not_o out_o of_o malice_n nor_o make_v a_o trade_n of_o sin_n 4._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o perform_v duty_n spiritual_o be_v thy_o motive_n and_o end_n spiritual_a in_o thy_o spiritual_a action_n such_o as_o the_o command_n of_o god_n enjoy_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n increase_v of_o grace_n etc._n etc._n be_v there_o zeal_n fervency_n activity_n in_o thy_o performance_n of_o duty_n be_v there_o in_o thou_o a_o free_a inclination_n to_o the_o duty_n that_o god_n require_v be_v there_o in_o thou_o strong_a opposition_n and_o combat_n against_o the_o flesh_n and_o unregenerate_a part_n 5._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o love_v the_o brethren_n do_v thou_o love_v they_o because_o of_o the_o image_n of_o god_n in_o they_o do_v thou_o love_v they_o because_o they_o be_v godly_a do_v thou_o love_v all_o the_o godly_a rich_a and_o poor_a high_a and_o low_a but_o they_o most_o of_o all_o that_o excel_v most_o in_o purity_n and_o godliness_n be_v thou_o ready_a and_o willing_a to_o own_v they_o as_o brethren_n and_o to_o join_v with_o they_o in_o time_n of_o persecution_n have_v thou_o a_o holy_a zeal_n against_o sinner_n a_o impatiency_n and_o holy_a grief_n at_o the_o wickedness_n of_o other_o do_v thou_o procure_v all_o spiritual_a good_a to_o the_o brethren_n as_o thou_o be_v able_a do_v thou_o pray_v for_o they_o exhort_v they_o provoke_v they_o to_o good_a do_v thou_o bear_v their_o burden_n and_o forbear_v their_o infirmity_n and_o if_o sometime_o thou_o find_v some_o envy_n some_o impatiency_n towards_o some_o of_o the_o brethren_n for_o in_o the_o best_a be_v imperfection_n of_o grace_n yet_o be_v thy_o soul_n trouble_v at_o this_o do_v thou_o pray_v down_o these_o sin_n in_o thy_o heart_n and_o be_v thou_o at_o no_o rest_n till_o it_o be_v otherwise_o with_o thou_o be_v thou_o not_o ashamed_a to_o be_v call_v one_o of_o the_o believer_n one_o of_o the_o holy_a brethren_n in_o time_n of_o persecution_n 6._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o love_v christ_n do_v thou_o evidence_n this_o love_n by_o keep_v his_o commandment_n and_o by_o accept_v of_o his_o rebuke_n be_v thy_o love_n to_o christ_n a_o strong_a and_o last_a everliving_a and_o continue_a love_n do_v thou_o love_v he_o in_o sincerity_n can_v many_o water_n of_o affliction_n quench_v this_o thy_o love_n nor_o the_o flood_n of_o persecution_n drown_v it_o be_v thy_o love_n a_o transcendent_a love_n surpass_v all_o other_o love_n do_v the_o love_n of_o father_n mother_n wife_n son_n daughter_n brother_n sister_n yea_o and_o of_o thy_o own_o life_n also_o give_v place_n to_o this_o love_n do_v christ_n sit_v in_o the_o throne_n of_o thy_o heart_n and_o do_v all_o these_o sit_v below_o at_o the_o footstool_n do_v thou_o bear_v such_o fervent_a warm_a affection_n to_o christ_n that_o thou_o will_v be_v content_a to_o part_v with_o all_o rather_o than_o part_v with_o he_o can_v thou_o say_v with_o david_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o portion_n and_o who_o have_v i_o in_o heaven_n but_o thou_o and_o who_o on_o earth_n that_o i_o desire_v in_o comparison_n of_o thou_o the_o world_n it_o may_v be_v will_v be_v sometime_o creep_v into_o thy_o affection_n thou_o can_v not_o be_v quite_o free_a from_o the_o love_n of_o the_o world_n yet_o do_v thou_o in_o thy_o ordinary_n settle_a prevail_a judgement_n and_o affection_n prefer_v christ_n before_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n do_v thou_o make_v christ_n the_o end_n of_o thy_o desire_n the_o very_a reason_n why_o thou_o hear_v and_o pray_v do_v thou_o first_o seek_v the_o kingdom_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o righteousness_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o seek_v it_o so_o zealous_o as_o thou_o shall_v yet_o have_v it_o the_o chief_a of_o thy_o desire_n and_o endeavour_n and_o be_v nothing_o else_o desire_v and_o prefer_v before_o it_o be_v thy_o valuation_n of_o it_o so_o high_a that_o thou_o will_v not_o exchange_v thy_o title_n to_o it_o and_o hope_n of_o god_n acceptance_n for_o any_o worldly_a good_a whatsoever_o nay_o be_v thou_o willing_a to_o labour_n and_o suffer_v for_o it_o and_o though_o the_o flesh_n may_v sometime_o shrink_v or_o draw_v back_o yet_o be_v thou_o resolve_v and_o content_a to_o go_v through_o all_o 7._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o believe_v in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n do_v thou_o find_v that_o thou_o be_v natural_o a_o lose_a condemn_a creature_n and_o do_v thou_o believe_v that_o jesus_n christ_n be_v the_o mediator_n who_o have_v make_v a_o sufficient_a satisfaction_n to_o the_o law_n and_o consider_v that_o in_o the_o gospel_n he_o be_v offer_v without_o exception_n to_o all_o do_v thou_o hearty_o consent_v that_o he_o and_o he_o alone_o shall_v be_v thy_o saviour_n be_v thou_o content_a to_o take_v he_o for_o thy_o king_n to_o govern_v and_o guide_v thou_o by_o his_o law_n and_o spirit_n be_v thou_o willing_a to_o obey_v he_o even_o when_o he_o command_v the_o hard_a duty_n and_o those_o which_o most_o cross_a the_o desire_v of_o the_o flesh_n be_v it_o thy_o sorrow_n when_o thou_o break_v thy_o resolution_n herein_o and_o thy_o joy_n when_o thou_o keep_v close_a in_o obedience_n to_o he_o and_o though_o the_o world_n and_o flesh_n do_v sometime_o entice_v and_o overreach_v thou_o yet_o be_v it_o thy_o ordinary_a desire_n and_o resolution_n to_o obey_v so_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o change_v thy_o lord_n and_o master_n for_o all_o the_o world_n by_o these_o thing_n he_o advise_v to_o try_v and_o bring_v our_o heart_n to_o answer_v suffer_v they_o not_o to_o be_v silent_a nor_o to_o think_v of_o other_o matter_n if_o any_o question_n be_v hard_a through_o the_o darkness_n of_o our_o heart_n yet_o do_v not_o give_v it_o over_o but_o search_v the_o close_o and_o study_v the_o case_n the_o more_o exact_o and_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a let_v not_o our_o heart_n give_v over_o till_o we_o have_v resolve_v the_o question_n and_o tell_v we_o off_o or_o on_o in_o what_o case_n we_o be_v yea_o wrestle_v with_o thy_o heart_n till_o thou_o have_v prevail_v and_o say_v i_o will_v not_o let_v thou_o go_v till_o thou_o have_v answer_v he_o that_o can_v prevail_v with_o his_o own_o heart_n shall_v also_o be_v a_o prevailer_n with_o god_n when_o we_o have_v discover_v the_o truth_n of_o our_o state_n then_o pass_v the_o sentence_n according_o a_o mere_a examination_n will_v do_v we_o little_a good_a if_o we_o proceed_v not_o to_o a_o judgement_n conclude_v as_o we_o find_v either_o we_o be_v true_a believer_n or_o we_o be_v not_o either_o we_o have_v
though_o a_o man_n have_v the_o gild_n of_o as_o many_o sin_n lie_v on_o his_o soul_n as_o there_o be_v drop_n of_o water_n in_o the_o ocean_n and_o if_o they_o be_v of_o as_o long_a continuance_n as_o from_o the_o creation_n of_o the_o world_n and_o aggravate_v with_o as_o heinous_a circumstance_n as_o any_o of_o the_o vile_a sinner_n in_o hell_n yet_o there_o be_v merit_n enough_o in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o take_v away_o the_o gild_n of_o all_o those_o sin_n and_o when_o that_o be_v do_v merit_n enough_o leave_v to_o purchase_v as_o great_a a_o glory_n as_o any_o saint_n in_o heaven_n enjoy_v but_o let_v none_o thereupon_o presume_v to_o go_v on_o in_o sin_n for_o there_o be_v not_o a_o word_n of_o comfort_n in_o the_o whole_a bible_n for_o such_o a_o one_o he_o that_o be_v afraid_a of_o too_o much_o grace_n have_v none_o at_o all_o he_o who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v make_v better_a be_v not_o yet_o good_a in_o the_o most_o afflict_a condition_n of_o a_o saint_n he_o have_v more_o reason_n to_o question_v his_o own_o love_n to_o god_n than_o god_n love_n to_o he_o god_n take_v as_o much_o care_n of_o every_o one_o of_o his_o child_n as_o if_o he_o have_v but_o one_o to_o care_n for_o our_o time_n be_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n if_o they_o be_v in_o our_o enemy_n hand_n our_o affliction_n and_o trial_n will_v be_v too_o long_o if_o in_o our_o own_o too_o short_a but_o because_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n deliverance_n shall_v be_v seasonable_a and_o in_o due_a time_n have_v we_o ten_o thousand_o life_n and_o estate_n to_o lose_v and_o lay_v down_o for_o christ_n one_o hour_n communion_n with_o he_o in_o glory_n will_v recompense_v for_o all_o our_o self-denial_n whatever_o we_o have_v do_v or_o suffer_v that_o man_n live_v unlawful_o who_o do_v not_o sometime_o abstain_v from_o lawful_a thing_n make_v it_o thy_o business_n to_o act_v grace_n and_o then_o trust_v god_n to_o bring_v in_o comfort_n god_n be_v you_o if_o you_o be_v unfeigned_o willing_a to_o be_v his_o he_o that_o can_v from_o his_o heart_n say_v lord_n i_o be_o thou_o may_v on_o good_a ground_n be_v assure_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v his_o god_n that_o man_n who_o god_n can_v satisfy_v nothing_o can_v for_o god_n be_v to_o his_o people_n whatever_o they_o can_v desire_v or_o need_v sight_n to_o the_o blind_a bread_n to_o the_o hungry_a clothing_n to_o the_o naked_a strength_n to_o the_o weak_a a_o physician_n to_o the_o sick_a pardon_v to_o the_o guilty_a comfort_n to_o the_o mourner_n life_n in_o death_n and_o everlasting_a life_n after_o death_n when_o the_o devil_n suggest_v to_o a_o good_a man_n that_o it_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o he_o to_o mind_n god_n for_o he_o shall_v never_o get_v to_o heaven_n he_o reply_v i_o will_v then_o follow_v hard_a after_o he_o and_o keep_v close_o to_o he_o that_o i_o may_v enjoy_v as_o much_o as_o possible_a of_o god_n here_o on_o earth_n where_o sin_n lie_v heavy_a every_o affliction_n will_v be_v light_a it_o be_v the_o say_v of_o the_o noble_a marquis_n of_o vico_fw-la their_o money_n perish_v with_o they_o who_o think_v all_o the_o wealth_n in_o the_o world_n worth_a one_o hour_n communion_n with_o jesus_n christ_n since_o no_o man_n can_v see_v thou_o and_o live_v lord_n let_v i_o die_v say_v a_o holy_a man_n that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o and_o be_v with_o thou_o if_o your_o condition_n be_v never_o so_o low_a if_o your_o heart_n be_v low_a it_o be_v well_o enough_o the_o issue_n will_v be_v good_a and_o while_o god_n the_o fountain_n be_v leave_v you_o need_v not_o much_o complain_v for_o want_v of_o a_o break_a cistern_n while_o other_o live_v without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n a_o christian_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o live_v as_o without_o the_o world_n in_o and_o upon_o his_o god_n the_o same_o love_n of_o god_n which_o lead_v one_o christian_a into_o the_o wine-cellar_n and_o give_v he_o assurance_n may_v lead_v another_o into_o a_o prison_n for_o the_o trial_n and_o exercise_n of_o his_o grace_n in_o prayer_n if_o a_o man_n have_v not_o a_o care_n of_o the_o first_o wander_n of_o his_o heart_n from_o god_n he_o will_v hardly_o be_v able_a to_o recover_v himself_o afterward_o it_o be_v a_o memorable_a say_v of_o a_o great_a man_n he_o may_v be_v deceive_v who_o think_v to_o save_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o religion_n more_o than_o his_o soul_n before_o a_o man_n be_v humble_v he_o complain_v of_o god_n unkindness_n to_o he_o but_o afterward_o of_o his_o own_o to_o god_n god_n have_v one_o son_n without_o any_o sin_n our_o bless_a redeemer_n but_o never_o any_o son_n without_o some_o affliction_n and_o suffer_v bless_a be_v god_n we_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o deny_v or_o lose_v or_o count_v nothing_o for_o christ_n a_o believer_n pray_v with_o fervency_n as_o if_o he_o will_v not_o be_v delay_v and_o then_o wait_v patient_o as_o if_o he_o have_v not_o pray_v if_o you_o can_v say_v god_n be_v your_o god_n and_o all_o that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n be_v he_o how_o can_v your_o fear_n want_n if_o he_o be_v not_o all-sufficient_a why_o do_v you_o call_v he_o so_o if_o he_o be_v why_o do_v you_o not_o trust_v in_o he_o if_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o how_o good_a be_v he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o find_v he_o if_o say_v jerom_n my_o father_n and_o mother_n do_v with_o tear_n entreat_v i_o and_o my_o wife_n hang_v about_o my_o neck_n and_o my_o child_n fall_v at_o my_o foot_n to_o beseech_v i_o to_o forsake_v christ_n i_o will_v cast_v they_o all_o off_o father_n mother_n wife_n and_o child_n and_o say_v farewell_o all_o welcome_a christ_n the_o follow_a account_n of_o the_o conversion_n of_o his_o niece_n will_v give_v far_a testimony_n to_o his_o charity_n zeal_n and_o diligence_n to_o promote_v religion_n in_o his_o family_n and_o how_o god_n honour_v he_o by_o the_o lustre_n of_o a_o holy_a example_n to_o recommend_v serious_a godliness_n to_o those_o who_o see_v his_o conversation_n and_o by_o his_o seasonable_a counsel_n to_o assist_v the_o recovery_n of_o one_o who_o under_o great_a conviction_n and_o temptation_n be_v in_o danger_n to_o be_v lose_v by_o too_o long_o conceal_v of_o the_o state_n of_o her_o case_n from_o such_o as_o can_v advise_v and_o direct_v she_o a_o short_a account_n of_o the_o conversion_n of_o mrs._n p._n f._n as_o she_o leave_v it_o under_o her_o hand_n before_o her_o death_n i_o be_o now_o go_v about_o to_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o great_a mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o i_o the_o unworthy_a of_o all_o his_o servant_n to_o record_v his_o lovingkindness_n and_o to_o make_v mention_n of_o the_o many_o and_o great_a deliverance_n i_o have_v have_v i_o know_v not_o where_o to_o begin_v nor_o where_o to_o make_v a_o end_n i_o be_o even_o swallow_v up_o in_o admiration_n and_o ready_a to_o cry_v out_o with_o david_n what_o shall_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n especial_o when_o i_o consider_v my_o own_o vileness_n by_o nature_n and_o how_o i_o deserve_v to_o be_v cast_v into_o hell_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v bear_v as_o have_v a_o heart_n full_a of_o sin_n vanity_n and_o rebellion_n against_o god_n be_v conceive_v in_o sin_n and_o bear_v in_o iniquity_n and_o as_o if_o this_o have_v not_o be_v enough_o i_o have_v add_v numberless_a most_o heinous_a transgression_n i_o have_v reason_n to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o thought_n i_o be_v think_v thought_n of_o pride_n and_o vanity_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v think_v i_o be_v run_v away_o from_o god_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v go_v with_o my_o back_n towards_o heaven_n and_o my_o face_n towards_o hell_n after_o i_o come_v to_o year_n of_o discretion_n the_o more_o i_o know_v of_o god_n the_o more_o i_o sin_v against_o he_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n have_v be_v innumerable_a and_o very_o heinous_a in_o their_o nature_n so_o that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o pray_v with_o david_n lord_n remember_v not_o against_o i_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n o_o the_o precious_a time_n i_o have_v lose_v and_o the_o golden_a opportunity_n that_o i_o have_v squander_v away_o the_o light_n and_o love_n the_o mercy_n and_o mean_n of_o grace_n that_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o i_o have_v spend_v the_o best_a of_o my_o year_n in_o the_o service_n of_o sin_n and_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o the_o great_a concern_v of_o my_o soul_n i_o confess_v when_o i_o be_v but_o a_o child_n since_o i_o have_v any_o understanding_n i_o have_v always_o some_o love_n to_o the_o way_n and_o people_n of_o god_n and_o some_o delight_n in_o holy_a duty_n and_o be_v fearful_a of_o
but_o a_o weak_a faith_n if_o he_o meet_v with_o no_o temptation_n shall_v scarce_o know_v what_o doubt_v mean_n and_o a_o man_n of_o a_o strong_a faith_n under_o strong_a temptation_n may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v fear_n and_o doubt_n if_o assurance_n do_v exclude_v all_o doubt_n and_o fear_n than_o it_o shall_v be_v perfect_a but_o as_o our_o faith_n and_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v imperfect_a so_o be_v assurance_n also_o none_o have_v assurance_n at_o all_o time_n it_o be_v like_o the_o wether_n sometime_o fair_a sometime_o foul_a yea_o in_o the_o same_o day_n fair_a in_o the_o morning_n and_o cloudy_a before_o night_n david_n have_v such_o strong_a faith_n at_o one_o time_n that_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o ten_o thousand_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o he_o shall_v pass_v through_o the_o valley_n of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n at_o another_o time_n he_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n that_o he_o say_v he_o shall_v one_o day_n perish_v by_o the_o hand_n of_o saul_n v._o we_o can_v never_o have_v too_o high_a too_o vast_a thought_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n we_o do_v not_o think_v aright_o of_o god_n if_o we_o do_v not_o think_v he_o more_o ready_a to_o give_v than_o we_o be_v to_o ask_v there_o be_v nothing_o thou_o can_v go_v to_o god_n for_o that_o be_v according_a to_o his_o will_n but_o he_o be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o ready_a to_o bestow_v than_o thou_o be_v to_o ask_v a_o child_n of_o god_n may_v go_v to_o he_o with_o as_o full_a confidence_n of_o his_o love_n as_o a_o child_n to_o the_o most_o tender_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n nay_o much_o more_o abundant_o the_o bless_a majesty_n of_o heaven_n be_v incline_v to_o succour_v and_o relieve_v those_o that_o be_v in_o distress_n and_o misery_n he_o that_o put_v bowel_n of_o compassion_n and_o pity_n into_o man_n shall_v not_o he_o himself_o be_v much_o more_o pitiful_a and_o compassionate_a exod._n 34._o 6._o he_o be_v merciful_a and_o gracious_a he_o delight_v in_o nothing_o more_o than_o in_o show_v mercy_n you_o can_v do_v nothing_o more_o grateful_a to_o god_n nor_o please_v he_o better_o than_o to_o plead_v for_o mercy_n mich._n 7._o 18._o when_o thou_o plead_v for_o mercy_n thou_o have_v god_n nature_n plead_v the_o same_o thing_n for_o thou_o all_o the_o yearning_n bowel_n of_o the_o most_o compassionate_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n be_v but_o a_o mere_a shadow_n to_o the_o bowel_n of_o god_n we_o may_v go_v to_o god_n in_o confidence_n of_o be_v hear_v for_o christ_n sake_n only_o as_o if_o we_o have_v never_o sin_v it_o be_v wonderful_a what_o the_o scripture_n say_v of_o faith_n and_o prayer_n vi_o this_o also_o may_v help_v to_o sustain_v and_o comfort_v a_o poor_a doubt_v tender_a heart_n that_o fear_n and_o suspect_v himself_o of_o hypocrisy_n that_o those_o very_a fear_n of_o thou_o be_v some_o show_n of_o the_o contrary_n man_n natural_o love_v and_o flatter_v themselves_o but_o thou_o loathe_v thyself_o for_o thy_o corruption_n be_v of_o good_a cheer_n it_o be_v grace_n and_o nothing_o but_o grace_n that_o complain_v of_o sin_n it_o be_v sincerity_n and_o nothing_o else_o that_o discover_v and_o bewail_v hypocrisy_n especial_o when_o thou_o bewail_v heart-hypocrisie_n and_o such_o secret_a and_o hide_a sin_n that_o only_a god_n and_o thy_o own_o heart_n do_v know_v if_o thou_o live_v not_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n nor_o in_o neglect_n of_o any_o know_a duty_n if_o thou_o will_v find_v out_o thy_o sin_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o god_n eye_n and_o no_o duty_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o thy_o own_o eye_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v against_o it_o and_o no_o duty_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v for_o it_o this_o prove_v thy_o uprightness_n vii_o if_o god_n never_o make_v his_o face_n to_o shine_v on_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n yet_o it_o be_v thy_o duty_n to_o trust_v and_o cleave_v to_o he_o through_o christ_n will_v you_o know_v why_o god_n when_o he_o have_v wrought_v grace_n do_v not_o enable_v the_o soul_n present_o to_o perceive_v it_o it_o may_v be_v it_o be_v that_o sin_n may_v be_v more_o bitter_a if_o we_o can_v have_v comfort_n when_o we_o will_v we_o shall_v have_v very_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n upon_o sight_n of_o thy_o grace_n possible_o thou_o will_v be_v proud_a to_o hide_v this_o pride_n god_n hide_v our_o grace_n from_o we_o it_o may_v be_v god_n do_v it_o to_o prove_v thy_o obedience_n to_o he_o for_o to_o rely_v on_o god_n grace_n and_o live_v by_o faith_n without_o sensible_a token_n of_o it_o be_v the_o pure_a act_n of_o obedience_n that_o can_v be_v by_o assurance_n we_o get_v more_o comfort_n to_o ourselves_o but_o by_o believe_v we_o give_v more_o glory_n to_o god_n therefore_o say_v christ_n to_o thomas_n bless_a be_v they_o that_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o have_v believe_v when_o you_o have_v any_o evidence_n of_o grace_n you_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o rest_v only_o on_o christ_n and_o trust_v to_o he_o the_o great_a work_n of_o a_o christian_a in_o this_o world_n be_v out_o of_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o weakness_n daily_o to_o depend_v on_o christ_n look_v to_o christ_n see_v our_o need_n of_o christ_n for_o pardon_n and_o sanctification_n and_o reconciliation_n every_o day_n this_o be_v our_o great_a work_n how_o many_o search_n for_o grace_n and_o neglect_v to_o put_v forth_o act_n of_o faith_n on_o christ_n alas_o grace_n be_v but_o token_n from_o christ_n let_v we_o not_o forget_v depend_v and_o rely_v on_o the_o bless_a jesus_n though_o we_o have_v no_o fight_n at_o all_o of_o any_o grace_n in_o ourselves_o where_o a_o person_n have_v any_o one_o sign_n of_o grace_n he_o may_v warrantable_o conclude_v all_o the_o rest_n to_o be_v there_o though_o at_o present_a he_o perceive_v they_o not_o it_o be_v the_o truth_n and_o not_o the_o measure_n and_o degree_n of_o your_o grace_n you_o be_v to_o conclude_v your_o state_n by_o the_o prize_v and_o love_v and_o seek_v and_o delight_v in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n above_o all_o be_v a_o certain_a evidence_n of_o grace_n viii_o the_o great_a sense_n of_o sin_n and_o gild_n shall_v discourage_v none_o from_o come_v to_o god_n for_o mercy_n through_o christ_n because_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v infinite_o more_o than_o a_o sinner_n provocation_n be_v or_o can_v be_v o_o it_o be_v boundless_a mercy_n bottomless_a mercy_n there_o be_v many_o like_a sinner_n as_o thou_o be_v but_o there_o be_v none_o like_o god_n for_o pardon_v and_o forgive_a mercy_n mic._n 6._o 18._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v high_a than_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o way_n high_a than_o your_o way_n and_o my_o thought_n than_o your_o thought_n isa_n 55._o 8._o when_o conscience_n be_v awaken_v we_o be_v ready_a to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n will_v pardon_v we_o therefore_o he_o fetch_v argument_n from_o his_o gracious_a and_o merciful_a nature_n my_o way_n be_v not_o your_o way_n if_o you_o repent_v your_o sin_n shall_v infinite_o be_v outdo_v we_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v god_n like_o ourselves_o but_o the_o bless_a god_n be_v of_o tender_a bowel_n slow_a to_o wrath_n loath_a to_o take_v vengeance_n ready_a to_o forgive_v the_o great_a wrong_n and_o receive_v the_o sinner_n into_o his_o favour_n upon_o true_a repentance_n there_o be_v say_v god_n as_o vast_a a_o difference_n between_o my_o disposition_n and_o deal_v and_o you_o as_o between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n thou_o that_o be_v a_o awaken_v convince_a sinner_n the_o promise_n of_o the_o gospel_n belong_v unto_o thou_o isa_n 61._o 1._o the_o lord_n have_v anoint_v i_o to_o preach_v good_a tiding_n to_o the_o meek_a to_o bind_v up_o the_o brokenhearted_a and_o to_o comfort_v all_o that_o mourn_v can_v thou_o desire_v to_o be_v in_o a_o better_a case_n than_o those_o who_o christ_n have_v commission_n to_o take_v care_n of_o the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n the_o mourner_n for_o their_o sin_n those_o that_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n not_o have_v a_o drop_n of_o comfort_n from_o themselves_o christ_n bless_v and_o pronounce_v happy_a bless_a be_v the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n not_o one_o of_o they_o will_v the_o lord_n have_v keep_v from_o come_v to_o he_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v to_o i_o all_z you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n trust_v to_o i_o you_o that_o be_v trouble_v in_o conscience_n for_o sin_n i_o will_v bring_v you_o to_o rest_v in_o god_n love_n and_o favour_n be_v not_o discourage_v there_o be_v a_o mediator_n for_o thou_o who_o worthiness_n and_o