as strictly bindeth all Parents to deserve The Parents evil doth not at all excuse the Childs miscarriages but it maketh him guilty of his Childs offence Beg then of God to pardon your past miscarriages and to work such gracious principles in you that you may never more be precedents in sin to your Children that you may not by your bad examples draw them into the ways of their ruine Your labouring by an holy life to deserve duty from your Children will exceedingly forward your Childrens performance of their duties in you So that it is your great concern to beware of speaking or doing any thing before your Children that you would not have them to imitate you in for Children are more forward to imitate the examples of their Parents in things that are evil than in things that are good Therefore be patterns of good to them be patterns of meekness and not of wrath that they may observe that in your behaviours that deserves their imitation and so may be followers of you in well doing O that Parents would strictly observe those directions that their Children may be piously educated whereby they may be able to take comfort in their modest respectful and orderly behaviour towards them 12. Abuse not your parental authority by provoking your Children to wrath or by imbittering their Spirits Ephes 6.4 And this is done 1. By denying them that which is their due in Food Raiment or means of Education neglecting to bring them up in an honest Calling whereby they might get their living in the fear of God Lament 4 3 4. 2. By commanding them to do things unjust in themselves as in 1 Sam. 20.31 or by unjust and rigorous commands about things in their own nature indifferent 1 Sam. 14.28 29. You lay great burthens upon your Children pressing them still with your authority You injoyn them what you list not weighing well what they like and not carefully considering as well their natures as your own desires as well their comfort and convenient being as your own affection and will to have it whereby your Childrens lives are very much imbitter'd 3. By inveighing with bitter w rds against them giving them furious speeches and violent language chiefly when there is no cause as Saul did to Jonathan 1 Sam. 20.30 4. By beating them unjustly when there is no fault 1 Sam. 20.33 or immoderately unreasonably and basely when there is a fault doing it with bitterness without compassion instruction and prayer These unnatural carriages exceedingly provoke Children to wrath and thereby your Children are provoked by you to sin for Children cannot bear cruel injuries from their very Parents without being incited thereby to sinful anger Therefore the Apostle saith Provoke not your Children to anger yet I say Parents are not to with hold seasonable necessary and moderate correction from their Children although theâ— Children should be enraged and provoked 〈◊〉 wrath by it for tho' they must not provokâ—â— them to wrath yet they must not neglect 〈◊〉 bring them up in the nurture and admonitiâ—â— of the Lord. They must not go from one exâ—ream to another i.e. from Regidity to too much Lenity Whiles Parents are cautioned against rigid severity 'T is necessary to guard them against too much indulgence that they may â—â—t let their Children persevere in Vicious â—â—urses without controule Parents ought to take care of their Childrens Souls faithfully indeavouring to beat down sin in them by nurture or correction and using all means possible to bring them up for Sons and Daughters to the Lord Almighty 13. When ever you reprove instruct when ever you find fault with any evil your Children have done inform them of some good that they should be doing There are many that are apt to be much in reproving faults that are seldom or never teaching duties The Wife thinks it her special priviledge to check and the Fathers duty only to teach yet when they are teaching them Wives will quarrel with their Husbands for not giving better instructions to their Children but will not allow their Husbands to speak to them in their presence or they will find fault with the matter or manner of instructing Indeed while Children are young the duty of teaching and instructing them is more incumbant on the Wife then the Husband for while the Wife keeps in her place and as she ought to be Tit. 2.15 A keeper at home she is most conversant with them and hath most oportunities of conversing with them by way of Instruction the good Wife that Solomon mentions in Prov. 31.26 She opened her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness She looketh well to the ways of her houshould Those are far from having a law of kindness in their tongues who are still casting forth in their Expressions the filth of their froward minds and that Wife is far from carrying her self as a Christian Parent that is always raging against pretended faults but never giving loving instructions or good advise or counsel Parents ought to be giving pious instructions to their Children when there is no cause of reproof they ought to instruct every day but reprove them only when an offence is committed Instruction is seasonable when there is no need of reproof but reproof is never profitable without instruction When a fault is reproved the evil of it must be shewn to the Child offending and the necessity if desisting and the danger of continuing such a practice must be demonstrated and how the Child ought to behave himself in his carriage towards God and them must be demonstrated If Husband and Wife were faithful in this respect there would not be such jarrings and contentions between them as there are 14. Before you instruct or correct Children or Servants beg God to direct you how to manage your instructions and corrections and to sanctifie them to their benifit you cannot expect God to succeed that which you do not beg God to bless Instructions are so often given without success because so often given without Prayer and your Corrections are so often given in passion that they are seldom given with moderation and the gratifying of passion â—s oftner the ground of Correction then Reformation because angry superiors will not allow themselves time to pray before they do correct So that is made an act of rashness which should be an act of seriousness You complain of your inferiors stubbornness Children and Servants are stubborn your instruction and correction doth influence them very little but when did you make a solemn work by solemn or ejaculatory Prayer before you entred upon it Blame your neglects of duty to God as the ground of your riors neglect of duty to you Lastly If Wives would live in peace and amity with their Husbands if any of of them are married to a man that had Children by a former Wife let such a Wife beware that she do not vilifie her Children in law nor represent every Childish act as an
He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly The meek person hath much understanding which he discovereth by this in that he knoweth how to bear wrongs and injuries patiently and can beware of doing any thing that doth truly oppose Honour and Virtue But he or she that is hasty of mind or short of spirit that is soon angry exalteth folly that is bringeth his folly to open light to be seen of all men forasmuch as he or she doth in his or her anger those things which cannot consist with Honour and Virtue Thus continually the Scripture doth befool passionate people and it is to check froward people because there are none that think themselves wiser than angry people do especially in the time of their fit Certainly because angry persons discover great folly in opening their shame they make evident what filthy trash was closetted up in their hearts which was not known before Alas of what ridiculous rude and indiscreet actions are angry persons daily guilty of they will reverence no Superiour respect no Equal but contemn all that oppose their humour Their chief work is railing and vilifying others much superiour to themselves in real worth They are exceeding talkative all others must hold their peace but themselves and in the multitude of their words there wanteth not folly But in all these insolent imperious and insulting carriages of a Wife to her Husband where is the reverence and observance that God requires her to give him for reverence is due to a man as he is an Husband to the bad Husband as well as to the good to the poor Husband as well as to the rich So that no defect of the Husband can excuse the Wife from giving him due reverence and subjection to his superiority So that all the irreverent speeches she gives her Husband in her passion are but the discoveries of her shame and folly I have now ended my Arguments and Motives which I have laid before you to persuade you to use the directions that I have here given to prevent Wrath and Discord between Husband and Wife Pray then let those considerations influence you to watch against your angry passions do not allow your selves in that which discovers so much of your shame and folly that such near Relations by their furoius carriages one to another should make themselves ridiculous to all that know them is very sad You are one flesh be of one spirit and one heart be faithful to discharge the duty you owe to one another Be not too curious in observing every look or gesture of one another Wink at every thing that crosseth you so long as it doth not cross the will of God Let each of you keep in your own station Let not the Wife look for superiority when God hath appointed her subjection Let her not be ambitious of teaching when her place is to be a learner A chearful subjection to Gods Ordinances and a ready delightful submission to Gods providential appointments is an excellent means to keep peace and prevent contentions between Man and Wife It is a great occasion of strife when that party will prescribe rules to the other that ought to be ruled by the other Do not discover your folly by your insolent carriages one to another Do not allow your passions that will make you utter such expressions that will prove your shame Be willing to live in peace one with another And therefore be persuaded by the Arguments and Motives that I have here given to use the direction now lay'd before you to prevent Wrath and Discord between you Soli Deo Gloria FINIS THE APPENDIX SOme Wives plead in excuse of their froward carriages to their Husbands thus None ought to account my zeal for Gods glory in a smart reprehension of my Husbands miscarriages to be sinful anger for I must not let my Husband alone to dishonour God because my not appearing for God when my Husband offends him will intimate an approbation of his sinful ways I cannot be faithful to God except I do oppose him in such actions as I conceive are not good and in this respect I judg not my self blame-worthy in contending with him Is it not my duty to reprove my Husband when he offends God and deals injuriously with me Meeting with this Plea since I compos'd the fore-going Treatise I have added this following Answer as an Appendix to the former discourse which is That I do acknowledge that some endeavoars may be used by Wives to convince their Husbands of their sins and to reform their conversations But by an explanation of the nature of Reproof it will appear what method is proper to be used by Wives to reclaim their Husbands from their disorderly walkings To Reprove in a strict sense denotes an authority in the Reprover over the Reproved for reproving is an act of authority which a person hath by vertue of Office or Relation as in Tit. 2.15 Rebuke with all authority In this sense a superiour is not to be reproved Therefore the Apostle saith 1 Tim. 5.1 Rebuke not an Elder I understand it not only of the Aged but of all Superiours in Place Dignity a tart reprehension or a direct reproof is not to be given them by Inferiours they are to be dealt with as Fathers are to be dealt with by their Children they may be desired but not rebuked Intreat them as a Father Admonitions are given by such as are Equals of the same Degree and Quality of the same Ecclesiastical Corporation or Christian Society which are either finding fault with each other for sins committed or persuading or exhorting unto duties which have been omitted And I look on admonitions to be of a more inferiour quality than the rebukes which Superiours give to their Inferiours for altho' an admonition be given as an act of Duty yet not as an act of Authority as the other is But that way which I conceive an Inferiour may take to reclaim a Superiour from sin and yet not go out of his place or usurp authority which belongs not to him is by an humble earnest and respectful intreating the Superiour to forbear his sinful acts which God hath prohibited him to concern himself with to engage in those Christian duties which God requires him to perform So that I acknowledge that there is a time when in a limitted sense inferiours may use means to hinder their superiours going on in a way of sin Job 31.13 Superiours are not above instruction or humble advice their authority doth not give them a toleration to persevere in sin nor a liberty to trample their inferiours under their feet Tho' we are under our Superiours Power yet we are not under their Lusts tho' we are to be governed by them yet not to be despised by them As we ought to serve so they ought to govern in the fear of God and Superiours irregularities are to be hinted to them
places above your inferiours tho' you ought to order and manage your actions with such gravity as may gain some awe and respect from their hearts and tho' you ought to uphold the honour and preheminence of that station wherein God hath set you by all prudent means yet you must not carry your selves towards your inferiours with any proud supercilious or fastuous deportment As you need not indent your cheeks with continual smiles so neither plow your foreheads with rough and fâ—wre wrincles A sober affability and unaffected and amiable gravity will sufficiently chastise contempt and nourish a reverend love Rigid austerity in words and actions will produce a slavish dis-spirited temper in Children and Servants that when they come to years they are so pusillanimous that they are rendred unfit to manage the work of their Generation The dogged carriages of your superiours with a word and a blow to Children and Servants upon every trifling occasion works in them an over-much rustick slavery makes them dejected dull and stupid and unfit for any service Carry your selves therefore in that manner that they may neither fear or have your morosity nor grow wanton upon the commonness of your carriage 9. Be careful not to manifest too much severity against a fault when 't is ingeniously and fully confest for if you do you will cause your Children and Servants to deny the truth another time When superiours are equally severe when their inferiours confess as when they deny the truth of the fact they provoke them to lye If a confession of a fault doth not procure a moderation of correction yea sometimes an omission of correction another time inferiours will obstinately deny what they have done and add sin to sin And let such superiours know that they are guilty of every such lye their inferiours tell and shall answer for it as their own sin I have here given those general directions how Husbands und Wives should carry themselves to their inferiours because their disorderly carriages to Children and Servants have caused hot contests between them When the one hath fallen fiercely upon a Child or Servant the other hath disliked it and thereupon have fallen out with each other and have been so furious against each other that they have not been reconciled in a long time Therefore O Husbands and Wives as you desire to have a comfortable enjoyment of each other observe those directions in your carriages to your inferiours But I pass on to the next particular to give some particular directions to Husbands and Wives concerning the education of their Children 1. Beware of manifesting your affections to one Child more than another but shew equal love to them all otherwise that will be an heinous crime in one which will seem no blemish or fault in the other For an unequal affection blinds the judgment and the child that is respected is dealt harsher with whereby it is very much discouraged dejected and grieved 2. Do not overmuch restrain them from innocent and lawful recreations but give them some convenient liberty to refresh themselves in the exercise of them which may better dispose them to receive benefit by your education and be a means the sooner to make your godly instructions to them 3. Beware of base vilifying language in your rebukes which will provoke Children to be dogged sullen and grow worse rather than reform them 4. Do you sometimes wink at small things in Children and not chide them for every trifle else as Children grow older Parents will grow contemptible 5. Let not the Mother chide or correct the Child in the Fathers presence but if the Father doth not observe the present ill behaviour or know of a former miscarriage let the Wife then inform the Husband whose right then it is to chide or correct by the authority of his place or deal with the Child when the Father is gone forth for otherwise she doth not respect her Husbands superiority over her self as well as the Child 6. Use not many words in rebuking your Children Let your words be few proper and weighty and let your carriage be grave but not fierce 7. Do not upbraid your Children with former miscarriages in your passionate heats for which they have received reproof and correction before but when the same faults are again renewed give new reproofs or corrections as the nature of the offence doth require 8. Study the constitutions of your Children Mildness will do better with some than severity and the dispositions of others need severity to be exercised towards them 9. When the Husband rebukes a Child let the Wife be silent and not plead for him in the childs hearing If the Husband doth what is not proper let her tell him of it in private 10. If you are angry with Children for some miscarriage forbear rebuking or correcting till your spirits are cooled That cannot be done regularly that is done in fury Whatever is done rashly will be done disorderly and so no good effect can be produced 11. Be careful that you be not causers of your childrens undultifulness and disobedience by your bad examples and ill behaviour If you have not walked so circumspectly as the duties of your Children might be due unto you even in regard of your behaviour you have brought on your selves the guilt of your Childrens want of duty You should be holy grave and modest in your lives and eminently exemplary for practical godliness and then your instructions will more effectually influence their hearts and breed and continue in them an awe and reverence of your parental authority But alas in how many places are Parents of careless and loose lives of peevish and froward humours bewraying their neglect of Religion going to Religious Exercises when they â—â—st making every trifling occasion a sufficient excuse for neglecting Christian duties sometimes pretending inability of body when laziness and want of affection is the principal cause of their neglects Others carry no gravity â—n their doings nor modesty in their behaviours but live most dissolutely and often incontinently Others swear fearfully without regard speaking profanely not respecting the frailty of the youth that hear them Sometimes Husbands and Wives let unkind speeches pass from them one towards another in the presence of their Children to the great impairing of their credit with them Other Parents are too careless of bringing up their Children in the fear of God in the nature and admonition of the Lâ—rd as they are bound Ephes 6.4 〈◊〉 these are means to make Children fillâ—â— reverence to their Parents and to tempt them to sin and tho' you may be grieved that your Children want a reverend regard of you yet your selves have been causers of the same Pray then consider O ye Parents what cause ye have given of y ur Childrens disobedience and bewail it and be watchful against such carriages for the future as have heretofore occasion'd their disobedience for surely what duties the Law bindeth all Children to perform it
live comfortably together is their neglecting to give their Children a Pious Education which through Divine assistance might be a special means to heal the viâ—iosity of their depraved natures to master and conquer their sinful propenâ—ions God in judgment permits Husbands Wives to be plagues to each other who neglect by education â—o refine and reform their Children and make them pliable to the Divine Will who are rugged and untoward by nature for if an Husband be not tender of a regular carriage to his inferiours he will never be tender of a dutiful carriage to God And if the Wife doth not carry her self as she ought to her Children and Servants she will never carry her self as she ought towards her Husband nor have any tender care to promote Gods honour If Husbands and Wives did better discharge their duties to their inferiours they would live more peaceably with each other Therefore I shall give them some directions how they should carry themselves to inferiours in general and then give some particular directions how they ought to carry themselves to their Children in respect of instruction and correction 1. Concerning their carriage to inferiours in general 1. Let Husbands and Wives be careful not to be too hasty or sudden in charging faults on their Children Servants or other inferiours For sudden surprizes do put them by all due consideration that many times they speak what otherwise they would not Therefore give them time to consider what to answer and advise them to speak the truth tho' against themselves telling them That a lye will double their fault and greatly encrease their guilt 2. In reproving your inferiours manage your reproofs so prudently that you may manifest love to their persons when you evidence the dislike of their sins Begin gently to use all persuasive motives to reclaim them from sin and allure them to the ways of God Never use severity but in cases of flat necessity lest the too frequent exercise of severity make them to despise you and harden them against you When you mix some severe expressions of holy anger against their sin let it be done in a grave prudent way for when you deal with them in a boisterous way you only put them into a slavish fear Let them perceive that you are more displeased with them for oâ—â—ences committed directly against God than your selves Pray let not your passions like unruly torrents overflow the banks that are limitted by Scripture and Reason A grave carriage and a sober moderate anger will procure reverence and advance reformations but that which is mixâ—d with horrid noise and clamours â—â—oweth from the breast of fools A Child can never persuade himself that such anger proceedeth from love when he is made the sink to receive the daily disgorgements of a cholerick stomach when the unhappy necessity of his relation ties him to be always in the way where an angry disposition must vent and empty it self If you that rule be thus unruly how can you expect your inferiours to be regular when your uncomely demeanour doth almost convince them that love can hardly be the genuine root of your anger but that they are made the sad objects of your native temper and that your reprehensions are spic'd with hatred If you have cause to be angry yet let not your storms run all upon the Rocks but endeavour speedily to cool the inflamation to abate the feaver and slack the fire of your anger 3. Observe a prudent administration of your rebukes gild those bitter Pills with hopes of winning your favour upon their amendment mix those unpleasant potions with some sweet emollient Juices that such interwoven lenity may procure access for your admonitions and effect your desired 〈◊〉 Great heinous faults if repeated deserve a greater ardency of spirit Smaller offences of Wife Children Servants if they be not committed openly rebuke them a part and in private Wink at infirmities and failings that are not positively sinful in a plain breach of the known Law of God Reserve your severest and sharpest reprehensions for open and scandalous sins that have been reiterated having a shâ—w of contempt and disdain 1 Tim 5.20 4. Beware that you do not reprove your inferiours to gratifie a froward perverse humour Your aims intentions must be upright in reproving Take heed of mingling any wildfire of price vain-glory and ambitious humour of contradicting and controuling others with your zeal of reproving Let your rebukes be purely for Gods glory out of hatred unto sin and out of love to the Salvation of your inferiours 5. If you would reform the miscarriages of your inferiours do it by way of instruction and preceptive injunctions Lay it as a charge upon their souls in the name of God That they hearken to and obey your institutions Efficacious words rather than many are to be sought studied used There be some especially Wives when they are displeased with their Children or Servants when they begin to speak against what they dislike they are not willing to give over but keep thundering out their frivolous repetitions of the same things for an hour together Therefore beware when you reprove the faults of inferiours that you do not multiply words for in a multitude of words there will be many impertinencies which nourish contentions and rather bring contempt upon the reprover than reform the reproved Therefore in few words and insignificant terms injoyn them to conform to your instructions that you give them from Gods word and say no more but with a grave look 〈◊〉 them 6. Before your reprove your inferiours or joyn corrections with your reproofs consider Whither their faults proceed from imprudence and weakness or obstinacy and wilfulness upon what grounds and occasions upon what provocations and seductions and deal with them according to the circumstances their faults are cloathed with If they appear to be truly sorrowful and deeply humbled and do readily beg forgiveness of God and you with a promise of amendment and leading a new life you ought to deal gently with them 7. Take heed of exasperating and provoking Wives Children and Servants by rigid and severe courses where less may effect your purpose There are some cruel Husbands and Wives that carry themselves more like raging Bruits than men and women that take pleasure in tyrannical corrections If they do not act what they would have them as they would have them and as soon as they would have them they â—all upon those their inferiours and tare them 〈◊〉 â—â—â—ld beasts Such superiours are apt to â—â—â—pret 〈◊〉 their inferiours actions in the woâ—â—◠〈◊〉 and â—ay they are fauly in their actio◠〈…〉 hate their persons and so dea◠〈◊〉 and â—ardly with them Take heed of making your Wives Children and Servants vile in your eyes by too much severity and know that God will require such vile acts at your hands at the great day 8. Tho' you ought to maintain the eminency of your
Abomination when she cannot evidence them to be possitively sinful Some Wives will exclaim against their Children in Law for very trifles accuse them to their Husbands as gulty of stubborness and rudeness to incense their Husbands against them and if they cannot influence their Husbands to be dogged to them or if their Husbands will not countenance and encourage their harsh dealings with them they contend with their Hesbands and will not permit them to end joy any quiet in their Families I say if such Wives cannot by any of their subtile contrivances and unjust complaints prevail with their Husbands to withdraw their affections from them they will withdraw their affections from their Husbands and refuse to give them any conjugal respect They approve of no Servants but such as will make complaints against their Children in the law and concur with them in villifying of them and such a course hath been the cause much discord between Husbands and Wives Indeed it is a Mother-in-laws prudence to wink at many Childish faults in her Husbands Children by a former Wife and not aggravate every failing in them Let Mother-in-laws know that they cannot justly claim a right to exercise equal Authority over them as over Children born of their own bodies because not so nearly related to them yea not related to them at all by blood and notwithstanding what some Mother-in-laws have asserted yet it cannot be thought true that they are so much Mothers to their Children in Law as they are Wives to their Husbands because their chiefest right of authority over their Children in law doth arise from their Husbands Resignation of them to their charge and Tutorage and their own taking charge of them by vertue of the said Resignation For the Mother-in-laws authority over the Children that are not born of her own body is derived from her Husband and conferred on her by her Husband and as she hath not an equal authority over her own Children as her Husband hath who is her superior by Gods appointment much less over her Children in law 'T is true as in the absence of the Husband the Wife is principally concerned in the Government of the Family and Children in law are Members of the Family in that respect the Mother-in-law hath the same authority over them as other Members of the Family Therefore let all Mother-in-laws consider Docter Harris his last advice to his Wife If you marry again remember your own observation that second Husbands are very uxorious second Wives very prevalent and therefore take heed that you do no ill office in estranging your Husband from his natuaral Children and kindred you shall thereby draw upon him a great sin and judgment if you kill in him natural affections Wherefore if Mothers-in-law are so Resolute and the fury of their Spirits is so raised that they will exercise more authority over their Children in law then their Husbands are willing to allow them to preserve the peace of the Family it is the Husbands prudence to place his first Wives Children in other Famlies where they may be piously educated and that Wife hath no regard to the glory of God nor the honour of Religion that will eppose it if the Husband be able to mentain them in other Families The Apostle presseth all to follow after the things that make for peace Rom. 14.19 This Exhortation doth concern the peace of Families as well as the peace of the Church therefore whatever doth necessarily tend to preserve peace between such near Relations as Husband and Wife must be carefully followed and whatever tends to be get strife and contention between them must be carefully avoided for such froward Persons as are promoters of discord God hates Prov. 6.19 Prov. 8.13 Therefore observe these following cautions First Beware of being discontented with the condition or relation in which God hath placed you for nothing doth more aim the Glory of God more destroy and â—â—t out your Comforts then discontent 2. Beware of looking on one another with a disdainful eye as if each of you did conceive your self to excel and were superior in worth to the other for by having one another in contempt you can never live peaceably together 3. Beware of neglecting acts of conjugal love for that will breed strangeness between you By this means such as heretofore lay in one anothers bosoms are grown so strange that they cannot stay with content in one anothers sight they will scarce look upon one another who not long since professed dearly to love one another 'T is sad yea very sad that they who should be ready to die for one another can hardly live with one another Oh when will the love of many such Relations which hath waxen cold gather heat again Were it not monstrious that one Member of the body should withdraw ffices of love from another or should be as 〈◊〉 stranger to it So it is strange that Husband and Wife should suspend the exercises of love to each other that are as nearly allied as one Member of the body to another these unnatural distances between Husbands and Wives are to open to be hid or denied And it is not a reproach to Christianity that such as are one flesh should act as if they were not Members of the same World If then you would live peaceably together beware of suspending Acts of Love to each other 4. Beware you do not reproach one another for reproaches do make breaches if one Friend do reproach another there will be a breach of their Friendship for bitter and calumniating words do very much vex our spirits and usually the chiefest causes of discord between you Wherefore I pray consider that Husbands and Wives continuing in strangeness to each other makes them at last become guilty of burnings and bitterness of spirit one against another it will not only cause them to forbear the manifestations of kindness to each other but to be cruel and devise evil one against another Therefore let me perswade you to love each other with a love of complacency Let your delight be set on each other and let all the lines of your affections be centred in each other i.e. Let not every trifling occasion quench the flames of your affection but let the heat and height of your love be placed upon one another beyond your Children and other Friends When such Relations decline in their love they incline to hatred Conjugal love being ill digested or corrupted turns to the greatest enmity Husbands and Wives are under the closest obligations to love Now the closer any obligation is the wider is the breach when once the obligation is broken or misimproved If the Wife whom the Husband dearly loved begins to fall from him or forsake his bed she usually falls out with him There hath been sad experience of this and 't is an argument where it happens that such Wives did never love their Husbands upon Gospel-principles or in obedience to Gods command for as they who turn against the Truths of God never received them in love so she never in reality embraced her Husband in love who turns against him for when grace is the cement of affections nothing can divide them Certainly if Husbands and Wives would faithfully endeavour to observe the directions that I have given them concerning their carriages to each other and to their Children and Servants they would live more peaceably and comfortably together than they now do 'T is their unfaithfulness in relational duties that occasions much of their Discord You Wives that pretend reasons for your contendings with your Husbands and for your angry insulting language endeavour to inform your selves more fully of the nature of your relational duties how you ought to carry it towards your Husbands and to your Children and Servants and endeavour a faithful discharge of those duties and you will quickly find a better agreement between you Thus I have ended what I have to say on this subject FINIS