judgments Let them pray with their family in the morning because some of them may fall sick and die before night and pray in the Evening also to commit themselves and their house to Gods safe keeping from all peril and danger for they know not what a Night may bring forth or day either and if evils befal them their hearts will smite them for neglect of this necessary duty of prayer in their families Also to Catechize repeat sermons and teach all in their house their duties and to seek the souls good of their servants as well as of their children and as well as to expect the service of their bodies and to charge them all to walk in Gods ways as Abraham did his children and househould after him Gen 18.19 Prov. 4.1 to 5. 1. Chron. 28.9 and as David charged his son Solomon in his life and at his death 1 Kin. 2.1.2 This is the mothers duty also to teach and command her children their duties My son saith Solomen Prov. 1.8 and 6.20 keep thy fathers Commandment and forsake not the Law of thy mother Josh 24.15 The master of the house should resolve with Joshua I and my house will serve the Lord every day together what ever other familes do we will pray and read Gods word that is perform holy duties together for the Glory of God and the good of all our souls as well as eat drink talk and sleep together and with David Ps 101.2 I will walk in the midest of my house with a perfect heart Esther 4.16 The wife also should be a help to her Husband in family duties and no hinderance therein Queen Esther and her Maides will fast and pray For if the wife should draw back from holy duties and be a discouragement to him therein the soul of her husband if he be godly can take no pleasure in her She is in a posture tending to perdition Hebr. 10.38.39 Mr. Abbot I have read a sad story reported by a Reverend Minister upon his own knewledge of an honest Christian that had a wife world ly and distrustful and he being much in Godly Excercise Morning and Evening in his family She would disturb him and goe about ratling her keyes or making some other noise to hinder him pretending that his Time spent that way might be imployed in getting of mony for his family This woman was given over by God to the Devils Temptations so far that she thrust a knife into the pit of her stomack and killed her self yet before she died she confessed thus much to that Minister and craved Gods pardon as well as she could Had it not been better that she had borne her husband company in holy duties and so gone hand in hand to heaven together Further set up Gods word to be the Law of your house to order your family and all the affaires of it according to the Rule of it For Gods word moulds and shapes every person in it for his Imployment and directs and keeps them in their several rankes Places and duties This is the way to have a Church in your house Rom. 16.5 as Aquila and Priscilla had 2. 2 Chuse good servants To chuse good servants such as know and fear God or as appear tractable and hopeful to be instructed and wrought upon Set David before you as a pattern herein Psal 101.6 7. Suffer no disordered swearing ranting persons to come into your house or to tarry in your sight such as will bring sin and a curse along with them Covet earnestly to have a choyce pickt family Acts 10.2 such as Cornelius had who feared God and all his house 3. 3 Exclude sin To shut sin out of doores as excessive drinking gaming swearing lying pride contentions Job 11.14 ch 22.23 vanities Follow the Councel which Jobs friends gave him as Zophar Let not wickednesse dwel in your Tabernacle and Eliphaz Put iniquity far from your Tabernacle then you shall know that your Tabernacle shall be in peace Chap. â— 24 God will keep house for you when you are from home as Bildad Job 8.6 If you be pure and upright God will make the Habitation of your righteousness prosperous Let it be your care to make it righteous and God will make it prosperous 4 Look well to the wayes of your houshold 4 Oversee the family to prevent or supress sin and to stop the beginnings thereof to cherish incourage good in all that live with you to reduce those that go astray in opinion or in conversation This is the duty of the wife as well as of the Husband Prov. 31.27 1 Sam. 3.13 14. The vertuous woman looketh well to the wayes of her houshold Because Elies sonnes made themselves vile and he restrained them not God judged his house for ever 5. 5. To Sanctify the sabbath To keep holy the Sabbath day not onely you but all within your house the charge whereof lyeth mainly on the master of the house and next upon the mistress Exod. 20.9 10. This Godly Covenant of your houshold will draw down Gods protection and blessing upon your habitation relations and upon all your affairs The use hereof is to exhort all Marying and married persons 1 To learn these mariage duties both special and Common Vse 1. Learn these mariage duties For any to mary before they know their dutie or how to carry therein is like setting up before one hath learnt the trade or like answering a Matter before one hears it which is folly and shame unto him Prov. 18.13 2 Vse 2. perform them To perform these duties of mariage carâ—full and constantly I commend unto you four Motives or inducements hereunto 4 Motives 1. 1 Duties of Mariage aâ—e matters of Religion Though Mariage in it self be but a civil matter yâ—t the duties of Mariage are Matters of Religion oâ— conscience and obedience to the gosâ—el â—â—ing fully prescribed and injoyned 〈…〉 And Christ will one day come in slaming â—ire to taâ—â—â—vengeance on them that obâ—â— not the Gospel in the precepts of it 2 Thes 1.8 2 2 To do the dutie This to get the Comfort thereof In the diligent and Conscionable performance of the dutie of mariage you may expect the comforts benefits and blessings of mariage A wife may draw forth the love and kindeness of a husband and a Husband may extract the helpfulness and comfort of a wife by the religious doing of their duties the one to the other For man or woman to expect the Comfort of a Relation and to neglect the duty thereof is to tempt God Math. 25.24 and to act the part of a hard man who looks to reap where he hath not sowen and to gather where he hath not strowed 3. 3 The mariage covenant Motive The solemn league and covenant you enter into mutually at Mariage whereof God himself is a witness Malac. 2.14 both of your making it
himself his whole self ver 33. As Isaac loved Rebekah Gen. 24 67. This duty of Love comprehends all the rest because all whatsoever the Husband saith or doth to his wife should spring from Love and taste of love She should be dear to him as himself and lie as a Lamb in his bosom 2 Sam. 12. Jacob was content to serve a double apprentiship under a Churlish Master for Rachel to be his wife Gen. 29.32 because he loved her more then Leah 2 2. Tenderness Dutie of the Husband is Tenderness and kindness to nourish and cherish her as the more tender part of himself as a man doth his own flesh yea as Christ doth the Church Eph. 5 29. to supply her with Necessaries and Conveniences and suffer her to want nothing that is fit for her and to cover her weaknesses Then Husbands must not be bitter to their wives nor injurious nor vexations not make drudges of them Col. 3.19 Their Authority should savour more of loving respect to them then of rigorous power Husbands should exercise so sweet and amiable a Government over their wives so as not onely their bodies but also their wills and hearts may be subject unto them When Husbands cause their wives to go to God with tears to complain of their unkindness and harshness to them God will regard and receive their offerings no more Mal. 2.13 ver 14. To this end the Husband should consider his wife is his companion and the wife of his Covenant made of a rib taken out of his side not of a bone taken out of his foot therefore he must not trample upon her and she is to be in a state but of Collateral subjection to him She is his yoke-fellow that stands on even ground with him and draws on the left side He should make her yoke as easy as may be and not suffer the heavier end to lie on her Neck because she is the weaker vessel 3 3 Honour 1 Pet. 3.7 Dutie is due Respect and Honour to her Peter gives 3 reasons for it 1. The wife is the weaker vessel therefore she must be carefully and gently handled as a chrystal glass 2. The wife is coheir with her Husband of the grace of life that is of the life of Grace and glory For as one observes souls have no Sexes and as they are in Christ they are both equal male and female are in him all one 3. That their prayers be not hindred A Husbands disrespect to his wife breeds discontent between them distractions in the familie and interruptions in duties and a contempt of them both To which I may adde that of Solomon Pron 12.4 A vertuous woman is a crown to her Husband and if she give him a crown he may afford to give her honour A Husband by debasing and disgracing his wife dishonoureth himself 4. 4. Instruction Duty of the Husband to the wife is Instruction Direction and consolation to teach her counsel her lead and comfort her as her head Eph. 5.23 and Guide Prov. 2.17 This is to dwell with her according to knowledg 1 Pet. 3 7. Hence the wife should learn of her Husbands 1. Cor. 14.34 35. 1 Tim. 2.11 12. A Husband may put honour upon his wife by hearkening to her Counsel and not despising the same which is his Dutie when she adviseth and perswades him to good or disswades him from Evil. This may be a great advantage to him For God sometimes gifteth and graceth the wife equally or above the Husband as he did Abigail above Nabal for he was a fool In all that Sarah hath said unto thee hearken unto her voice said God to Abraham Gen. 21.12 So did Elkanah to Hannah 1 Sam. 1 22 23. and David hearkned to Abigails Advice before she was his wife how thankful was he both to God and to her for it 1 Sam. 25.32 to 35. Manoah did the like to his wife Judg. 13.22 23. 5. 5. Adhesion Duty is cleaving to her forsaking father and mother and his dearest friends for her and to be glued to her and to become one with her Eph. 5.31 One flesh to dwell with her not onely one house but one bed should hold them And to rejoyce in her Eccles 9.9 and Prov. 5.18.19 or live joyfully with her make her his Chepthzibah and be ravished alway with her love The wife should be as dear to the Husband as the Hind is to the Hart as the Doe to the Roe-buck This will make him drink waters out of his own Cisterne onely Not the having of a wife but to delight in her and lovingly to comport with her will keep a man chaste from embracing the bosom of a stranger Prov. 5.19 20. A man should count all others strange women in comparison of a wife 6. 6. Protection Duty is protection of his wife from wrongs and dangers to rescue her if in jeopardy as David did his wises 1 Sam. 30.18 and to right her if injured Abraham was to Sarah for a Covering of the Eyes that is Gen. 20.16 her Husband to defend her from injury Booz was to take Ruth into his protection as the hen her chickens under her wings signifyed by spreading his skirt over her Ruth 3.9 and 2.12 that she might be safe under the wings of her husband A man giveth Coverture no action is brought against the wife the man is to answer she goeth Covert baron as is observed Therefore woman was made of a bone from under the Mans Arme that he might be a protection and defence to her The Husband must be as a house side for his wife as the fruitful vine to spread her self on to support and strengthen her Ps 128.3 and a rest to give her a safe and setled abode Ruth 1.9 2. 2. Duties of wife to husband 6. The Duties of the Wife to the Husband are these six 1 Submision First Submission to his Authority and to his just and aequal commands 1 Peter 3.1 1. As unto the Lord Ephes 5.22 as having to deal with God whose Ordinance this is that the wife should live in subjection to her own Husband and that for conscience sake Col. 18. â—3 This is fit in the Lord. 2. As the Church is subject unto Christ Eph. 5.24 that is freely willingly reverently constantly and universally in all things The Apostle giveth four Reasons of the womans subjection to the man or subordination to him and dependance on him 1. Because she was made out of man scil of a rib taken out of his side 1 Cor. 11.8 The man saith Paul is not of the woman he was made at first of the earth but the woman was made of man 2. The woman was made for the man at first not the man for the woman 1 Cor. 11.9 I will make him saith God a help meet for him Gen. 2.18 to serve and obey him as her Superior Hence it is said that the woman is Vir
CONSIDERATIONS Concerning MARRIAGE The HONOUR DUTIES BENEFITS TROUBLES of it Whereto are added 1. Directions in two Particulars 1. How they that have wives may be as if they had none 2 How to prepare for parting with a dear yoke-fellow by death or otherwise 2. Resolution of this Case of Conscience Whether a man may lawfully marry his Wives Sister By EDWARD REYNER Minister of the Gospel in Lincoln London Printed by J. T. for Thomas Newbery and are to be sold at the three Golden Lions in Cornhill neer the Royal Exchange MDCLVII TO THE READER Christian Reader THou mayest wonder that I should bring this poor Embryo to the birth in the Presse the place of bringing forth When I first penn'd these concise considerations concerning marriage I had not the least thought that they should have seen more light then came in at my Study-window or that any more eyes then mine own should have seen them while I lived But thus it came to passe These being the heads of what I delivered in private at the Marriage of some Friends not long ago and I being requested soon after to communicate my Notes thereof reveiwed them but found them very short and imperfect and that what I had written could not give an account of what God helped me then to speak Hereupon I resolved to transcribe and inlarge them a little onely that I might get some Copies written out to gratifie some Friends that desired them But when I had almost finished them I had several Hints upon my Heart from Providentiall occurences to expose them to publick view Whereto I was also encouraged by some godly and judicious friends who had the perusal of them Thus I am drawn to hope that through Gods blessing which can make little Pamphlets instrumental for the good of others as well as great volumes this little poor plain â—iece may be of use to many because 1. The Subject of this Discourse to vvit Marriage is of general extent and of speciall consequences for it is the first Relation and foundation of humane Society and it is the Rule and Measure of the Wel-ordering of all other Relations and hath a Regulating Influence upon them all 2. The Principall Concernments of Marriage as I humbly conceive are plainly declared briefly comprized and usefully applyed herein 3. This Tract being so small may be bought cheap and read soon and be ready to direct either Poor or Rich vvho desire to vvalk by Rule in their Matrimonial State The Lord command his Blessing upon it that it may be effectual and prosper in the things vvhereto I intend it and Gods Providence sends it novv unto thee even to accomplish the good pleasure of God tovvards thee in making thy Relations religious in the manner and order of them and sweet and comfortable to thee in the end and use thereof Reader I pray thee live this book throughly in thy family I hope it may draw down a blessing upon thy whole house when thou reapest profit by this or any other Tract give God the praise and let the Author have thy prayers to God to strengthen him and bless him in his labors Which is the request Sept. 19. 1657. Of thy Friend in the Lord Edw. Reyner TO THE READER THe worthy Author of this ensuing Treatise was pleased not onely to favour me with the perusal of it but also to put so much honour upon me as to crave my Judgement concerning it before he purposed to make it publick Doubtless such condescentions of his spirit unto a friend every way inferiour to himself do speak his great humility which addeth much lustre unto the rich abilities with which the Lord hath crowned him His former practical pieces have found so good acceptance amongst gracious savorie spirited Christians that the prefixing of his Name will be sufficient commendation of this book Whosoever have heretofore drunk of his rich spiritul Wines will say There is no need to hang forth an Ivy-bush to call in Customers when his vessels are broached I do ingeniously profess that I have received edification by reading over this discourse and thence I take encouragement to commend it to thy serious perusal Long since when I read Reverend Mr. Greenhams Treatise of a Contract before Marriage and observed his serious instructing of the persons contracted in the Articles of faith and the ten commandements I then thus concluded in mine own thoughts Surely this man of God judged that this condition of life doth need more than ordinary helps that it might be Christianly managed And questionless upon this account not excluding others Ministers most eminently godly have in their times perswaded a matrimonial contract before the consummation of Marriage that the persons intending that change might by peculiar advice and prayer be prepared for it I well remember that my good Friend Mr. John Ball whose memory is precious during the time of his last sickness did often speak to this purpose If God should be pleased to restore me to the exercise of my Ministery I will more preach and presse Relative duties then I have formerly done The power of godliness appeareth in relations and what relation is so influential as this betwixt husband and wife This is the first and fundamental human Relation and according to the disposition and conversation of husband and wife in their domestical state and capacity will the behavior of children servants and others in the family be usually ordered both amongst themselves in their mutual subordinations and towards others occasionally I know that many of Gods Worthies both in former and latter times have in their Discourses concerning domestical duties mentioned many things here particularized yet as the concurrence of Brethren addeth strength to their counsel so that which is additional may be found profitable In mine apprehension there is a vein of Scripture strength and evidence together with the savoriness and judiciousness of the Authors Spirit running through the whole book from beginning to end in these regards I was moved to request him to make it publick hoping that it will through Gods blessing be instrumental in promoting the power of godliness amongst professors of Religion That case of conscience which is added unto the practical discourse concerning Marriage is upon dispute determined with so much strength and authority both Divine and Humane that I am perswaded much sin in that kinde will hereby for the future be prevented There were three sheets more prepared for the Press concerning the mutual spiritual communion betwixt Christ and the soul which is espoused to him whereof there are some short hints in page 42. and 43. and 44. and 60. of the following Treatise and doubtless this piece would have been acceptable and profitable unto Christ-improving Christians This was wrapped up in a paper directed unto me and sent by a special friend who lost it out of his pocket in his journey from Lincoln to London in May last This loss is the more to be lamented
her own but her husband or better then her husband or shall a man love other mens wives or a woman love other womens husbands better then their own Peculiarity of Interest is a Ground of Speciality of love 3. 3 Union Ground of special love between them is union The Conjunction Husband and wise have one with another They two are in many respects as one person and so one together as they are not or should not be with any one besides in all the world to wit one flesh Gen. 2.24 as it were incarnated one to another Adam acknowledged this when God had made the woman for him and brought or maried her to him he said This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh to shew his Thankfulnes to God and love to his wife Gen. 2.23 as wondering at Gods goodness to him therein Mariage is a moral conjunction of two persons so as Man and wife are in Law one flesh by Gods Ordinance It is the strictest bond of any relation and therfore a fellowship of the dearest amitie nearer then that between Parents and Children Though children have their flesh and bone from their Parents yet they are not one flesh with their Parents Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wise This Gen. 2.24 was the sanction of mariage All Society must be left that this between man and wife may be kept This is Pauls rule Let not the wise depart from her husband 1 Cor. 7.0.11 â—â—â—ach 2 16. and Let not the Husband put away his wife for God hates putting away The wife must be an individual companion of life The saying of the Philosopher that perfect friendship is onely between two is most true in this case between man and wife because they two are by mariage made one 4 Necessity The 4 Ground of spiritual love between them is Necessity of the one for the other even for their being as well as for their walking In both these respects we may understand that of the Apostle 1 Cor. 11.11 Neither is the man without the woman neither is the woman without the man in the Lord. The man is not without the woman nor can be because man now is conceived and born of a woman The woman is not without the man Job 14.1 because she is now begotten of man so that they are mutual Causes the one of the other The woman hath her Generation froÌ„ the man the man hath his conception and birth from the woman They cannot be much less be well the one without the other The Husband should look at his wife as Causa sine qua non a help he cannot well be without for God said It is not good that man should be alone and the woman should look at her husband under the same notion It is not good for the woman to be alone Therefore the husband should not insult over his wife because oâ— his superiority over her nor the wife be discouraged because of her inferiority or subjection to him because they have need the one of the other as fellowes to bear and draw in one yoke together Now mutual Necessity should breed mutual love between them What is so dear unto the wife as the childe of her Womb Isa 49 15. yet the husband should be dearer to her as Eâ—kanah said to Hannah 1 Sam. 1.8 Am not I better to thee then ten sons 3 3 Common duâ—â— is Communion Common duties between Husband and wife is communion which flowes from the union of their Persons by mariage for union is the ground of Communion or communication of their bodies souls goods and respects 1. 1 Of bodies Of their bodies by mutual benevolence performed by the one to the other 1. Gor. 7.3.4 2 By cohabitation 1 Pet. 3.7 or dwelling together unless it be for a time and upon necessary Occasions 3. by conjugal fidelity reserving themselves intirely and peculiarly proper the one for the other as Christ and his Church doth Hosea 3.3 2 2 Of souls Of their souls for the spiritual good of both The heart as well as the body should be common between Husband and wife One saith that both the body and the soul are united together in Mariage Conjugal love will make hearts advance together as well as bodies as amical love doth friends The Soul of Jonathan was knit with the Soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul 1 Sam. 18.1 as lustful love makes the souls of unclean persons to cleave together as well as their bodies as Shechems soul clave to Dinah Jacobs daughter whom he defiled Gen. 34.3 1 Kings 11.3 and Solomon clave unto many strange women in love But I shall speak more of this Soul communion between maried persons in the fourth common duty 3 3. Of Gods Of their Goods and Estates labours and indeavours a joynt fruition thereof for mutual benefit and Comfort 4 4. Of respects to their kindred Also there should be a communion of due respect and loving kindness to the kindred and friends that pertain to either partie The Husband and Wife lie as corner-stones in the wall to joyn several alliances and kindreds together and ought to carry very respectfully to their Affinity contracted by Mariage Esau's wives offended greatly in grieving the hearts of their Husbands parents Gen. 26.35 4. 4. Furtherance of the salvation one of another Common duty is to further the salvation and soul good one of another as given of God to that end Husband and Wife should labour to gain one another to Christ and help one another to Heaven What knowest thou O wife saith Paul but thou mayest be a means to save thy Husband and whâ—t knowest thou O man but thou mayest save thy wife However this ought to be the Serious indeavors of both If thou know not whether thou shalt yet try whether thou canst To this end Extend your desires and labours in three particulars 1 To heal infirmities the one seeth in the other as pride passion discontent folly vanity excess or the like Take the fittest Time when the parties may best be wrought upon it is aptest to take Impressions or is in a tractable ductile frame and chuse the best manner to doe it in a taking efficacious way Beg wisedom of God for it rightly to observe what is amisse in a yoke-fellow to heal it or to cover it Happy is that couple whom God makes Heaven of Spiritual Infirmities or Spiritual Physitians one to another The wife should be a second Conscience to her Husband a bosome Monitor to tell him privately of his faults to amend them 2 To increase Graces mutually and to incourage one another to the Exercise of them as of faith love patience of prudence piety charity sobriety and the like 3 To Excite and Encourage unto duties and to provoke one another unto good works and to quicken and sharpen or edge
themselves thereunto to take off dulness and aversness the one from the other Yoke fellows should draw on one another to God and good and towards Heaven to publick ordinances and private exercises and to the Communion of Saints They should be goads and spurs each to other and worship God together as Companions in his service and fellow travellers walking hand in hand together to the kingdom of glory That they may be like Zacharias and Elizabeth both righteous walking in all the Commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless Luc. 1.6 like Abraham and Sara both believers like Elkanah and Hannah 1 Sam. 1. both true worshipers of God like Aquila and Priscilla both helpers in the work of Christ Rom. 16.3 4. Now if either father or mother believe the children are holy federally 1 Cor. 7.14 and many promises are made to them especially if both the Parents be saints and believers God blesseth such with pious and prosperous children which are double blessings as he did Abraham and Sarah with an Isaac Elkanah and Hannah with a Samuel Zacharias and Elizabeth with a John Manoah and his wife with a Sampson Such Godly compeers make mariaâ—e it self honourable and they will live and die with Glory 5 Patience The fifth Common duty is Patience Husband and Wife should not onely labour to heal of which before but if they cannot yet to bear with infirmities one in another Remember this Rule never to be angry both at once but the one should bear with the others frowardness and Passion and for a time give way to it This is the way to overcome and quench passion in a yoke-fellow and to make them afterwards love one another better when the one by yeelding a little hath conquered the other whereas to be both angry at once is to add fewel to the fire and to make the slame of Contention between them very great this will dissolve the glue of affecton that made them cleave together and separate them and make of one two Patience is necessary to prevent breaches and preserve Conjugal Amity and familiarity between maried Couples and to possess themselves and one another It was the speech of a godly man I count it a necessary Qualification in one whom I may match my self unto to have no predominant humor in her which I cannot bear but to be able to bear any Infirmity of mine Another Reverend man as is reported seeing a very cholerick couple live very lovingly and quietly together as Husband and wife asked them how they could so sweetly agree and consort together to whom the man answered when my wifes fit is upon her I yeeld to her as Abraham did to Sarah and when my fit is upon me she yeelds to me and so we never strive together but assunder This mutual forbearance each of other will beget contention with their Coujugal Condition and further their endeavours to sute their minde to their Choice and to be well pleased one in another after Mariage Mal. 15. though before mariage they might have fitted their Choice to their minde That Mariage hath a great blessing in it wherein the greatest Contention between Man and Wife is who should love each other most and please one another best 6. ProcreatioÌ„ of Children 6. The sixth Common duty Procreation of children I will saith Paul that the younger women mary and bear children 1 Tim. 5.14 especially to seek a godly seed To this end Husband and wife should wrest by prayer with God not onely to bless them with the fruit of the womb but with such a seed as shall be blessed is not onely to give them children but children of promise as well as of providence such as he will make his children by grace as well as their children by nature heirs of God and coheirs with Christ God at the first made onely one woman for one man though he being the God of the spirit of all flesh had power to have made more but he did Conjoyn one woman onely to that one man and still continueth his ordinance of the same single Copulation that he might seek a seed of God that is a religious and holy posterity such as might worship him the onely true God and propagate his Church This is a proper and principal end of Mariage to wit the procreation of children â—or the propagation of Gods worship and of his Church of which I shall speak again afterwards yea this was the end of it Even in mans Innocency when he was without sin Hence amongst Gods people virginity was a grief as in the Case of Jephtahs daughter Judg 11.37 40. and barrenness was accounted a shame and reproach 1 Sam. 5.6 7. as Elizabeths speech implies Luc. 1.25 Hannah had experience hereof upon this Account because they could not increase the Church of God For which end Paul bids the younger women mary Tim. 2 14. Whereas an ungodly seed serves to increase the Synagogue of Satan Idolatry and profaneness and cause exceeding grief and troubles to their godly Parents And as it should be their earnest desire to bring forth a godly seed so should it be their care to bring thâ—m up for God in the Discipline and nurture of the Lord Ephes 6.7 in the fear and knowledge of God and in his worship loving their souls better then their bodies Augustin praised his mother that she travelled in greater pain for his Soul then she did in bringing forth his bodie Solomons Mother taught him a Prophesie that is lessons of chastity and temperance and the properties of a good wife Prov. 31. His father David composed a Psalm for his instruction Psal 72. Timotheus mother taught him the scriptures from his Infancy 2 Tim. 1.5 3.15 7 to build a godly family 7. Common dutie is to build a godly family not onely by the procreation and religious Education of children which is a pillar of the house but by a wise and godly Goverment and ordering of the house in which the wife ought to act her part I will saith Paul that the younger women mary and bear children and guide the house that is domestick affairs 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Tim. 5.14 domi-portae To this end they ought to be discreet that is prudent and circumspect and keepers at home Titus 2.5 housewives to carry their houses as it were on their backs as snails do The Harlot doth not so Prov. 7.11.12 Her feet abide not in her house now she is without now in the street But Abraham when he was askt where is Sarah thy wife he said Gen. 18 9. behold she is in the Tent. To this end Husband and wife should put forth joynt endeavours in five particulars 1. 5 Things are requisite hereto 1 Family duties Jer. 10.25 To performe holy duties in their houses constantly of reading the Scriptures and of prayer Evening and Morning For without prayer they and their Familie lies open to Gods wrath and
and your breaking it or keeping it Hence it is called the Covenant of God this ingageeth and obligeth you strongely to all Matrimonial duties Prov. 2.17 Covenant breakers even in wedlock God will judge 4. 4 This will be a good example The good Carriage of Husband and wife each to other according to the Gospel will be a good example or patern to all other Relations in the family to set them a copy or teach them how to carry therein and to put them in order Without this all would be out of frame the children unruly and disobedient and the servants unfaithful and disorderly So much of the Duties of Mariage Now followes the third thing considerable in mariage III. The Benefits of Mariage WHich may be referred to five heads They are 1. Personal 2. Domestical 3. Political 4. Ecclesiastical 5. Universal 1. 1 Personal Benefits The Personal Benefits of Mariage appertaining to the parties themselves are 4. to wit 1. Society 2. Sanctity 3. Copartnership 4. furtherance of the mystical Mariage between Christ and the soul 1. 1 Society Society God made man a sociable Creature in respect both of the Constitution of his body and disposition of his minde and said Gen. 2.18.19.20 It is not good for man to be alone Though God made Adam lord over all the Creatures and brought them to him to give names to them all as a sign of his soveraignty and authority over them yet for all this man was alone for among all the creatures there was not found a help meet for him or like to him in Nature a fit and sutable Companion that should be alter ego a second self to him God set all the creatures before him ere he gave him a wife that as some think he seeing their sexes might desire to have a help in his kind and nature also God saw it was not good for the irrational living creatures to be alone Gen. 7.2 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 therefore he created them male and female in Heb. cal'd the man and his wife for the increase of their kind to this end God bid Noah take into the Arke two of every sort of living things to keep them alive they shall be male and female Gen. 6.19 20. and God created them male and female together but he did not so in mankind for Adam was first formed then Eve Though it be said in Gen. 1.27 that God created them that is Adam and Eve male and female yet not together This is an anticipation The 27 28. verses of Gen. 1. chap. are to be made up with the 17 18 19. verses of the 2. chapter together into one Relation This was the Cause of the Creation of the woman because Adam was alone God saw Adam Solitary and defective till he had a wife I will make him saith God a help commodious for him God created the woman by deliberate Councel as before he had done the man Gen. 1.26 27. Let us make man in our Image The creation of the woman was the work of the Trinity as well as of the man When Adam saw no other fit help for him among all the Creatures it might make him the more prize a wife and count it better to lose a rib then to lack a wife to want part of himself then not to have a second self A wise was the Complement of all to Adam and a Recovery of his lost Rib. If Adam in Innocency when he was perfect in body and soul and when the whole world was his own stood in need of a wife even for society to be his Companion and it was not good for him that was so happy to be alone much less for poor sinful sickly miserable man since the fall what need hath he of a wife even for Society Eccles 4.9 10. Two are better then one saith the Preacher that is fully verified in conjugal Society though this onely is not meant here but that society in all sorts of affaires is better than Solitariness 2. Sanctity 2 The Second Benefit of mariage is sanctity to prevent sin and keep us pure from Pollutions of flesh and spirit 1. 1 Cor. 7.2 From outward acts of uncleanness To avoid fornication let every man have his owne wife saith Paul and every woman her own husband 2 From inward Lusts Ver. 9. It is better to mary then to burn Mariage is a meanes to prevent burning in lust Mariage is a preservation of chastity and prvention of heart adultery which our Saviour makes to be to look on a woman and lust after her Math. 5.28 Though mariage was instituted before there was sin and Adam needed it not as a Remedie against Incontinency but upon another account But since the fall it is of necessary and soveraign use to prevent sin and to procure or promote our sanctincation that we may possess our vessels in holines and Honour not in the lost of conpiscence Thes 4.3.4 5. This is the will of God 3. 3 Copartnership Benefit is Copartnership in all conditions better and worse As yoke fellows to take part and share equally together therein 1. To be a solace and comfort one to other in adversity as in sickness poverty disgrace What a great comfort is a loving tender husband to his dear wife in her sickness and she the like to him in his Prov. 17.17 As a brother is born for adversity so many couples finde cause to say that they were maried together for a time of adversity and that God brought them together to be mutual helps and comforts at such a time as this Judg. 13.22 23. as he did Esther to the kingdom Esther 4.14 how did Mancahs wife comfort him when he was plunged deep into fear of death 2. To be companions in joy the delight one of another in prosperity the desire of the eyes as Ezâ—kiels wife was Ezech. 24.16 Eccles 9.9 and the joy of the heart to live joyfully and comfortably together as Abraham and Sarah Gen. 26.8 Isaac and Rebekah did Abâ—melech looking out through a window saw Isaac sporting or laughing and rejoycing with his wife Which implies some pleasing familiarity or sign of love and delight between them Husband and wife are glasses to look one anothers face in and echoes of delight refreshments and reflections or repercussions of pleasure and joy the one to the other and mutual chearings each of other 4 4 Furtherance of the Mystical Mariage Benefit of Mariage is the Furtherance of the Mystical Mariage between Christ and the Soul Both Husband and wife should improve their conjugal Relation and fellowship together to promote the Communion of their souls with Christ as the Spiritual huband thereof To this end we should do three things 1. 1. To look at Christ as our Husband Hoseah 2.19 20. To look at Jesus Christ our Maker and Redeemer as our Husband Isa 54.5 as maried to us Jer. 3.14 and at