Children who have Parents living observe your Duty to them and whatsoever they Command you do and God will bless you the better for he hath Commanded you to Honour your Father and Mother If they do Chide you bear it patiently and do not provoke them to continue their Anger by unreverent Answers but be silent and submissive to them Be careful of your time when you Learn any thing and do not let the Mony which they are willing to disburse for you be lost through your Idleness Observe every one how they do order their Houses and how they do make this or that and what you cannot remember that write down that it may stead you another time Be careful of your Parents when they are Sick and reverence them when they are Aged Burthen them not when you come to be of Age of Discretion but think with your self how or which way to case them Take heed what Company you keep for fear they corrupt you and draw you into mischief Go not from your Parents without their leave least you grieve them and bring a Curse upon your selves by Disobeying them Depend on no Friends but trust in him who is able always to provide for you and that will never fail those who wait upon him patiently without distrust he is never weary of hearing the complaint of the Widow and Fatherless nor of any who are in Distress On the other side do not neglect or slight your Friends but shew your duty to them in your respects and give ear to their good Counsel When you are absent from your Parents be sure to Write to them so often as need shall require and let not what you Write be impertinent and troublesome If God hath blest you with a good Lady or Mistress be you observing alwaies what may please her and be humble and modest in your Behaviour be neat and Houswifely in your Cloaths and lay up what Mony can handsomly be spared Be careful of what she gives you or what you have in your Charge that by so doing you may oblige her to be loving and kind to you and cause her to speak well of you Do not keep familiarity with any but those by whom you may improve your time If you be an Apprentice be careful that you learn your Trade well that you may live another day and let not the Mony your Parent or Friends gave for your good be thrown away by your Neglect and Carelesness If God hath blest you with a Fortune be careful to improve it and trust not too much upon it Never consent to Marry with any man without your Parents or Friends Consent least you be the Cause of their Grief and Sorrow and bring your self to Affliction and Misery All you who have any Young Maidens or Gentlewomen under your Charge or Tuition be you alwaies mindful of their Good as well as your own If they are put to School to you or Apprentices let them not lose their Youthful time which cannot be redeemed but keep them strictly to their Duty in a loving and mild way If they come as Servants to you for Wages be not cruel to them in severe Language nor impose more upon them than they shall be able to perform nor pinch them in their Diet but allow them such Food as is convenient for them When they do their Duty to you be you pleased to encourage them by giving them good words and bestow some small Favour on them Advise them how to lay out their Mony and never to spend all but keep some for a reserve Let them go decently not vainly and proudly and command them duly to the Service of God I think I have spoken sufficiently â—o all I mentioned and as I mean well so I hope you will all of you â—ake it well With this my advice â— vvish you the Blessing of GOD and do desire the same from you upon my self which is all the Gratification I do desire or expect from you Be pleased to take notice that in my Book The Ladies Guide I did give direction for the Writing of Letters but it was only to such as were Young and to Servants I think it not amiss to give some Forms or Patterns of Letters for Elder and more-serious people for I do daily find that in Writing most Women are to seek They many times spend their time in Learning a good Hand but their English and Language is The one not easie to understand The other weak and impertinent I meet with Letters my self sometimes that I could even tear them as I read them they are so full of impertinency and so tedious I will begin with one of them not that you should take example by it to do the same but I set it as a thing to be abhorr'd and shun'd From a Sister to a Brother far distant from her Dear Brother MY love remembred unto you hoping that you are in good health as I am at the writing hereof praised be God I hope you got well to your Journeys end I pray let us know My Father and my Mother do remember their Love to you and my Sister Betty remembers her Love to you and my Brother John and my Brother Nicholas do so too and my Couzin Jane is Married and she doth remember her Love to you and her Husband remembers his Love to you and says he would be glad to see you and to be acquainted with you My Couzin Robin remembers his Love to you and my Couzin Nan remembers her Love to you and I remember my Love to you So I rest Your loving Sister till death Elizabeth Spanner You see in this Letter how ridiculous it is to Write after this manner the language being both impertinent and foolish Give me leave now to shew you what ill English is and tell me which is worst for I do not yet know From a Daughter to her Mother Dear Mother MY duty remembred unto you hopping that you are in good helth as i am at the Riting hereof prased be God this is to let you understand that i have receved the things you sent to me by Tomas Frenge and he had a grot of me for the bringing them i pray do not forget my Come I left in the Kichen windo and my Aporn in the Chamber pray send them al to me i hop my Father is wel and my brother Ned and my suster Joice and i hop godie welsh is wel thus with my love and duty to you i rest your dutiful daster Ann Blackwell Now I have shewed you how ridiculous and simple and how impertinent these are I will also shew you how to Write that it may be effectual in what you shall desire and also acceptable to those you Write to You shall find here Letters upon all Occasions which commonly concern us and some others which accidentally may happen Observe that you are not to Write word for word but to take the manner of the Form it will teach you
and Butter it strew Sugar on your Dish and serve it in This may be called The good Hous-wives Pudding They are fools who cannot tell what to do with scraps of Meat Are they any worse than the rest If any be too Fat let them try it up for Suet else make a Florentine or Pudding with it and so used you may bring it if occasion were before a Great Person It is an easie matter here for any that hath Mony if they have nothing but cold Meat in the House to go to the Market and buy a Joynt of Meat But I pray what do they in other Countries where they have not such plenty Do they not live upon green Herbs Plants and Roots as much as any kind of Meat And who are so weak as our English People for they eat so much of Meat that they distemper themselves with it whereas if they did eat Herbs Roots and Plants more freely it would be better for them Observe the Diet of the French Italian Dutch Spaniards Portugals or any other Nation they make good savory Meat and do not spend half so much Meat as we do yet who so strong as they you shall hardly ever see a Crooked person among a thousand of them nor weak ey'd so far as to give blemish to them and I do impute that to their Diet partly And that they do not Coat their Children too soon when they are young but keep them long in their Blankets that prevents the Rickets and many other Distempers but our proud Nurses here must be humour'd although it be to the ruine of a Child but if there were none would humour them more than I they would be mute Let them look well to a Child and keep it sweet and clean and then if they have their Wages duly paid them they have no reason to find fault If the Child do not go so fine as they would have it it will be the Parents shame not theirs It is better to let a Child or ones self go plain than to run in Debt for fine Cloaths They that will heed what I say I believe it will do no harm but a great deal of good for they will find it true what I say Did I not see what fools we are made here in England both by our Nurses and Servants and what destruction there is made in many Houses I should not speak but really there is in some Houses I know so much Waste as that it is a great shame and discredit to those who guide the Family and if they would look a little more into their Affairs they would be more careful for the future Therefore all you who are Mistresses of Families look narrowly to your Servants and let them not spoil or waste your Goods for which you must take pains and care Be watchful that they do not sit up beyond their usual time Juncketing and making their Friends welcome as they call them with your Goods while you are asleep and think no harm of them Suffer not your Children to go too frequently abroad with Servants least it cause such an obligation as you shall pay dearly for the Requital If you see your Servant go beyond what you think the Wages you allow her will well maintain and to lay up somewhat in case of Sickness or being out of Service you ought to Question her or him for either they must run in Debt or Cheat you or take some ill Course to maintain their pride and folly and then of necessity discredit must follow On the other side If you find a Servant to be Civil neat cleanly and careful to please I do advise such a Servant may be cherished and encouraged not only by good Words but good Gifts also for such a Servant cannot be too highly prized yet too much of Familiarity I do not hold with for that will breed much Contempt Keep your distance as you being her Superiour and shew your love and favour in what may benefit her Trust not a Servant too much with Secrets which concern your Credit or your Livelyhood least you thereby enslave your self to them for I have seen very sad effects from such confidings You may make the Messengers for to carry Letters but do not trust them to be your Counsellours If any Servant who hath performed her Duty to you do ask your advice in Marriage give her the best Counsel you can and also bestow somewhat towards the forwarding of it If you probably think she may be happy let the Man who she hath an inclination to know that you have a Kindness for her and that you will shew them all the Favour you can if they will endeavour honestly to live in the World If your ability will reach to it be kind to them upon their Wedding-day either to give them their Meat or at least wise to give them somewhat towards their Charges And when she is gone from you afford her your assistance when she stands in need and grace her with your Company when it is required for then her Husband will be apt to be the more kind to her and will have an awful reverence for you For Nurses If you find an ill one take your Child away and own her no more Let your silence be her sorrow and her shame Report not ill of her least it be her Ruine neither Commend her least you ruine your own Credit It is better to be silent and let others find her out then for you to accuse her It is enough that you have taken your Child away If you find a good and faithful Nurse one who hath done her duty to you in the care for the Child cherish her nourish her and never think any thing too much that you can do for her without prejudice to your self If she hath been careful of the Childs Cloaths give her what you can well spare of them for her own Child or else give her the worth of them to lay out her self and as your Child grows up teach it to love the Nurse and infuse those Principles into it that when you are dead and gone your Child may still remember her with a perpetual kindness This is my own mind I would have my Children do so and therefore I commend these Directions to others For Preserving I have before given you very many Receipts and of the very best for all manner of things therefore you must not expect that I shall say much as to that Art yet some things there be which you have not as followeth and a mixture of things such as commeth into my mind that I have not yet written Imprimis To make very fine Bisket TAke one pound of the yolks of hard Eggs one pound of the finest Sugar beaten and searced two ounces of candid Iringo-root one ounce of candid Cittrou-pill the whites of two Eggs well beaten one quarter of an ounce of Cinnamon beaten fine one Nutmeg grated half a quarter of an ounce of beaten Ginger beat
her self in somewhat or other to maintain her self and the younger Children who are not yet able to take care of themselves and for the Elder ones they are forced to Service and are fain to accept for the present which are but slavish rather then to follow any Ill-course of Life All these you will say have their Afflictions and you have sufficient Reasons for the Causes thereof The Causes why others do commonly run into Mischief and Wickedness They are such whose Fathers have died vvhen they vvere young and their Mother perhaps by a second match hath ruin'd her self and them or she hath been left in so miserable a condition that she hath not been capable of Advising them nor able to bring them up as she should do in the Fear of God so that wanting that they have grown Refractory to her and forgot their Duty and then liable to all Temptations whatever Some Parents have both died and left their Children to the Care of some near Friend and their Estates to be managed by them for the Childrens good and those Trustees have been neglectful of those in their Charge and have spent all which vvas left for them and then exposed them to the mercy of the World vvithout Education or Mony And some are naturally inclin'd to Wickedness and that is worst of all For it is as hard to bring them to good as to vvash a Black-Moor white or to make a Fooâ— vvise both vvhich are I think impossible some for vvant of good Principles and vvhich have been left too much to their own Will to do even vvhat they list and vvhen they list God knows our Nature of it self is prone to nothing but Evil therefore how happy are they that have careful Parents that are not over-fond to leave them to their own Will nor cruel to them in their Corrections but do vvisely and soberly religiously and lovingly Nurture them and strictly keep them to Church and Family Duties such do seldome go astray for God vvill certainly bless those Children for the Parents sake And how unhappy are those vvhose Parents are careless of their Childrens Education and not only so but do also ruine them by giving an ill Example Of all these vvhich I have mentioned I at this present know some both Parents and Children every one of their Conditions in particular and am truly sorry for their Affliction for certainly there is no greater Grief than ill Husbands and ill Wives cause to one another or vvhat ill Children create to their Parents or they to them I thank God though I have passed through many more Afflictions and Troubles then thousands of my Sex yet I never had an ill Husband nor undutiful Children but on the contrary I have been marryed to two Worthy Eminent and brave Persons and I have four Sons as good Children as ever Mother did bear For my own part I can say nothing for my self what Wife or Mother I have been but if no Accusation come against me I have no reason to accuse my self I give thanks and glory to Almighty God for what benefits I have received from time to time especially for those Blessings which I do at this present enjoy The lives and welfare of my Dear Children The happy choice which two of them have made in their Wives and that I have lived to see two sweet Babes from their Loyns Such like comfort as this I wish to all good Christians Advice to Parents concerning their Children and advice to Children concerning their Parents Also to any Person under whose Tuition they may be which if well observed may prevent much wickedness for the future YOU who are the Mothers of Children I advice you to have an especial Care first That they be well-grounded in the Principles of true Religion That they keep duly to Church and to Family Duties That they duly ask you Blessing and make them to know their Distance by keeping them to all due Reverence Let them be lovingly and quietly Governed not with perpetual Chiding and Brawling but treat with them mildly and gently unless you find them Refractory to your Commands if so then some Austere language must be used and when they do well be kind to them and encourage them Let them not be too nice in their Diet but teach them to know that God is worthy of Thanks and Praise for the least bit or drop they Eat or Drink Let them be neat and decent in their Habit not at all Extravagant have a care what Company they keep and do not give them too much Liberty neither deny them lawful Recreations Let them not have the command of your Purse neither let them be without a little and as they manage that give them more Let them learn whatever they are capable of or that you have opportunity for the Learning and especially what their Genious is inclined to for that to be sure they will be excellent at Let them be fully employed but with diversity of things that will be a delight to them and they will have no time to give heed to wicked Temptations nor no room for idle Thoughts Suffer them not to tell you a Lie but encourage them alwaies to tell the Truth for lying is the ground of all Mischief Teach them to be Houswifely in their Cloaths and too sparing of them Let them learn the way of House-keeping by acting your Commands Let them know how to entertain Friends and to be Courteous to Strangers and loving to your Servants not Domineering over them nor yet too familiar with them Advise them to be modest in their Carriage in mens Company for fear of ill Censures Suffer them not to be too loud in their Discourse nor Snappish and Peevish with any Give them Counsel who are your Children to Love one another and alwaies to give more than ordinary Respect to the Eldest These things if you will please to observe to Command them and they will be careful to obey you you shall not need to doubt of your happiness in them and they will alwaies have reason to bless God for such a Parent or Parents who were not only the Cause of their being but also of their well-being But if by ill-Fate after all this Care you should have a Rebellious and refractory Child your frequent Prayers to Almighty God will be the only way to reclaim them But truly I do think there is no other way nor no better way to prevent Wickedness in Children then this I have proposed which perhaps you may say is needless because you know already how to order them I beseech your pardon for we are not so sit to advise our selves as others for our Indulgence oftentimes blinds us Therefore we are fitter to Advise one another then any one to Advise their selves Neglect of Childrens good by being over-Fond ruines them Too much Severity doth so too I cannot tell which is worst Therefore it is good to shun both and to keep the middle way All you
please to send her speedily it will be very well because at this time I am destitute yet I might have the Choice of many Accomplisht Women were it not a particular Kindness I have to you that causes me to refuse them I desire you will let her be handsomly Cloathed for your Credits sake which if you lack Mony to do it let me know and I will soon furnish you Thus desiring you not to delay I remain Your Friend to love and serve you M. C. The Answer Madam YOu have so much obliged me by your goodness and Charity towards me and my poor Child that we are even transported with joy Poor Girl she sleeps not in the night least any thing should happen to hinder her coming to you Her Cloaths are making but indeed I have not wherewith to pay for them nor to provide other things which she very much wants therefore since it is your Ladyships pleasure to send me Mony I beseech you it may be speedily and so soon as her Cloaths are finished and other things bought she shall tender her Duty and Service to you and I will give her the best Instructions I can I hope she will not be refractory to her Duty but strive to be a good and faithful Servant yet if she should have any Childish faults I beseech you be pleased to let me know that I may rebuke her for them Be pleased to accept of my humble Service and to believe that I am Madam The most humble of your poor Servants C. H. From a Wife to her Husband Craving his pardon for her long absence from him Dear Heart WHen you gave me leave for my Journey I did intend no other but to Return according to your Order but the much Kindness and Intreaty for my stay together with the late very ill Weather hath caused me to transgress my bounds which I do wholly trust to your Goodness to pardon and do the more hope for it because it is the first time I ever offended you in this Nature I do desire you will please to let me know how you and my Children do and whether our Servant doth her Duty likewise how our little one at Nurse doth And I desire you also to send me some Mony speedily to bear my Charges to you This is all at present save only the Love and Duty of Your most obedient and loving Wife E. D. From an Aunt to her Neece Dear Neece YOur Parents being Dead I would have you take notice that I shall take Care of you therefore do not think your self destitute in the World On the other side I would have you endeavour what you can for your self in an honest way but want nothing that is fitting for you Let me know at any time what you would have and I shall furnish you either with Mony or with Necessaries Be careful you do not consent to Marry with any Man without my leave for fear you make your self Unhappy I have sent you a Bible and twenty shillings in Mony by the Carryer I pray let me know if you have received it or no. Be careful in the first place to serve God and to please those whom you serve and you shall never be forgotten by Your most Affectionate Aunt M. C. The Answer Honoured Aunt I Never doubted of your Kindness but could not have expected so much as you are pleased to shew me because I know I have never deserved it But since I know your Care for me I do assure you that it shall cause me to be more careful of my self I have received the Mony and the Bible and do give you most humble and hearty Thanks for them My Lady finds little or no fault with me therefore I presume I do please her I have not an overstock of Cloaths neither can I complain of much want yet if I had a new and fashionable Gown it would do me Credit I have somewhat towards it and if you please to make it up I shall be the more bound to pray for you because no Body is now esteemed without fine Cloaths For my Marrying with any one without your Consent I shall not be so mad neither do I think any man will as yet be troubled with me When you think it is time I had rather take your Choice than my own In the mean time I shall endeavour only to perform what I am obliged to and to shew my Duty to you Thus with the tender of my humblest Respects and Service I take leave humbly and remain Dear Aunt Your most obliged Niece and most humble Servant E. C. From a Widow to her Friend desiring her Assistance Dear Friend I Stile you as I have alwaies found you But now is the only trial of a Friend in this my necessity It is not unknown to you the Charge which I have now upon me and the many Troubles I am involved in my Husband having had a long time of Sickness and died in Debt so that I have little or no Comfort in my life Yet if I had a Stock to begin I could set up my own Trade and live very well but who to ask besides your self I do not know and how to ask you I cannot tell having already been so much obliged to you yet my Necessity enforces me to crave this one Favour from you That you will please to lend to me 10 l. for the space of one whole year and I will faithfully return it again with many Thanks This if you will please to do will give a new Life to Your most faithful Friend to love and serve you The Answer Dear Friend I Am very sorry for the occasion of your sad Letter and shall not deny your Request in hopes that the grant thereof may make you happy yet I do assure you that were it any one else who did sue to me upon such an account I would deny them for the World is so base and Mony so hard to come by that there is hardly any that will let Mony go out of their hands I shall freely lend you so much and for a longer time than you do propound but I would sain speak with you first and advise you in your Way Therefore do not delay the time but come as soon as possible you can and you shall find me then and for ever Your most faithful Friend and ready to serve you From a Woman in Prison to her Friend to help her Dear Friend I Suppose you have heard how wrongfully I have been dealt with since my Husbands departure how they have accused me of what I was never guilty of and cast me in Prison to my great Discredit Charge and Detriment in the World I do desire that loving favour of you as to come and see me and to lend me a small sum towards the defraying of my Charges here and then I make no doubt but I shall get quickly quit of this place Dear Friend Have pity on me and if it ever lie in my