mothers milke and straight waies after their cradle may bee nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children doe the parents liue in a maner euen after death And if they be wel instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the common wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt Haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but olde trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoote them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shafts the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children that parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesse Yea and further as arrowes are at the commādement of the owner to be vsed euen so children wel taught are at the commandement of godly parents 5. Lastly let parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another which doe not their dutie in bringing vp their children as they ought to doe First they transgresse the law of nature which telleth all men that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly Secondly Deut. 6.7 8. 4.9 11.19 Psalm 71.5 6 7 8. Iosu 4.6 they sinne against God for they despise the commaundement and authoritie of God for hee commandeth that children should bee brought vp religiously and honestly but hee is a despiser of God that refuseth to doe as he is commaunded Thirdly he offendeth against his own credit estimation Exod. 12.26.27 Luke 11 12. For Gods wil is that parents should after a sort be in his stead so farre forth as pertaineth to outward discipline But such make small account of this dignity who neglect their dutie in this behalfe Parents are further to vnderstand that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to see their children taught to pray to God and to rehearse the Apostles Creed and the ten commandements For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather bee inclined to godlinesse and reuerence toward God so as they increase in age they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne to their owne comfort and instruction to saluation Also as the tongue is called the glorie of man because that besides al other reasons by his speech hee is discerned from the brute beasts so it is meete that so soone as the childe can begin to speake his tongue should bee employed to glorifie God by calling vpon him and by learning some short Catechisme containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion as also in repeating the will of God in such sort as he wil that we should serue and honour him If parents doe note or perceiue any vice in their little ones as swearing lying choller enuie filching couetousnesse contempt of parēts readinesse to strife and other like corruptions it is their duty diligently and in time to reproue and correct thē as men vse to pluck vp weedes while they bee yet young least growing vp among the good seedes they should hinder their growth and choke them vp By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones doe lay their limmes right each in his place likewise if a childe bee giuen to bee left handed they chide him yea sometimes they binde it vp or otherwise restraine the vse of it that hee may bee accustomed to vse his right hand Also if the childe haue some string vnder his tongue they cut it least it should hinder his speech much more then ought they to beware that through their negligence the vices of the soules doe not increase for it is the dutie of parents euen in the infancie to begin to shape and frame the soule vnto vertue It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and reade for it may bee vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account then money And therefore the negligence of many is sharply to be reproued Besides that the performance of the duties herein doth greatly binde their children vnto them Neuerthelesse the principall ende thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present life but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation As also it were their parts to vse them daily to reade some chapters of the holie Scriptures thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holie Ghost by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare Therefore if parents do look that their children should obey them then let them ioyne accustome them to Gods word which will redownd much to their parents profit If they cause their children to heare reade the holie Scriptures therein they may learne Honour thy father and thy mother But if parents doe otherwise then they traine them vp in the scriptures of diuels whereout their children will learne most wicked things but it is not so when they are instructed in the holie Scriptures Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them namely to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare of GOD and in the faith of Iesus Christ Deut. 6.6.7 and 32.46 Ephes 6.4 So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age It is then great follie to linger children in the learning of vaine trifling and vnprofitable things which as they grow in yeares they will contemne and forget Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course trade or other estate wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men and verely such fathers as do neglect that are vnworthie to haue children But as the soule is more precious then the bodie so is it the dutie of parēts in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things wherewith in age euen in this life they may glorifie God and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge or bee vnwilling to take leisure to teach them yet let them doe as much for their childrens soules and
few prouide or bee carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewayle and much lament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckning of if they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sin and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents doe carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and s◠by good meanes to admonish and draw them from the same As parents be carefull to prouide temporal things for their childrens bodies which are transitorie so much more carefull ought they to prouide spirituall things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeeres of discretion and this is the most acceptablest seruice that they can doe to God Psal 132.1 Mat. 12.33 Children are called the fruit of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children which are their fruit For like as fruitfull fields for lacke of tillage waxe barrē or as trees being neglected eyther bring forth no fruit or else the same vnsauorie without the diligence of grafting and pruning or as dogs bee vnmeet to hunt the horse oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto euen so how sauage and vnfruitfull creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good and vertuous bringing vp To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Pro. 22.6 which is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties Reasons wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to doe it For who should teach and informe the child but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparant euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruit beasts to bring vp their yong And further this dutie is yet enforced from the oportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grewe or sprung vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soile best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children bee not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dugge you shall sooner be heard of your children then eyther the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam Gen. 5.3 and so all other after him haue beene a meane of falling to al their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue beene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this al parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer cease vntill they see in some measure the beautie of the first Image the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these doe proue Deut. 4.9 and 11.18.19 Ephes 6.4 Psal 78.5 And because this dutie of parents is many times committed to Schoolemasters to Masters of Families to Dames to Patrones and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to bee eschued are these 1. First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they bee not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a dutie and therefore they must indeuour to get so much nourture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them 2. The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelihood and necessaries for their children they care for no more 3. The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate drinke ynough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may loose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to holde them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all Parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and wel disposed to traine vppe youth in all good nourture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so oftē as conueniently they may repaire unto them and see how they profit and holde them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to bee good vnto them in this chiefe poynt aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue Pro. 18.21 so wee may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckening of their seruants then they do of their brute beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God
and therefore your owne children shall be one of the furies in hell to torment you The Lord open your eyes Pro. 22.6 to foresee and she these fearefull iudgements But if you will bring them vp well and vertuously they shall be the better for it all their liues after nay the world to come shall reape this benefit for such children as you now bring vp such parents shal they be after you when you are gone and looke what parents you leaue behind you the like childreÌ„ again shal they reare vp Wherfore O you parents you are either the making or the marring of the world for if your childreÌ„ learne no good erudition at your hands how should they be good fathers after you and how should they leaue that to their posteritie by the right of inheritance which they neuer receiued from their ancestors To conclude this poynt we say once againe Oh ye parents endeuour to goe forward in this vertuous education of your children and then God no doubt shal nor will hide no necessarie secret or instruction from you neither will hee withhold any good blessing from your posteritie so shall ye be fathers of the faithfull as Abraham was if you will haue the same care and practise the same diligence for your children and familie that he did Gen. 18.17.18 and 12.2.3 Disheriting of the eldest son is a thing very vnlawfull 2. Chro. 21.3 1. King 21.3 Leâ—it 25.23 Num. 27.3 c Parents also haue to remember that they shall commit an act very vnnaturall iniurious and vngodly if they should vndeseruedly disinherit their eldest sonne For as nature in all her workes for the most part seemeth to make some one thing to bee chiefe before all the rest whereby the same is and the rather continueth so reason in the order of a familie which is an imitation of a state ciuill or bodie politike perswadeth of experience and necessitie that there be one before the rest as chiefe Whereby may be conserued that beauty of vnitie and harmonie of concord which the Almightie in his creation so wonderfully and diuersly teacheth and our Sauiour himselfe so carefully and especially commended to his Church And thereof seemeth to come that preheminence or more speciall regarde Exod. 13.1 2. and 34.19 20. Leuit. 27.26 Num. 3.13 18.16 which the law of God in the olde Testament appointed to his people the Israelites to be obserued towards the first begotten sonne and likewise somewhat concerning other dumbe creatures which first were brought forth into the world By the ancient law of the Iewes the eldest had double so much as the others of the fathers goods and alone to the eldest pertained the blessing of the father wherewith should seeme alwaies the heritage to goe and succeede as is manifest by the wil of God in Deuter. 31.15 16 17. If a man haue two wiues one loued and another hated and they haue borne him children both the loued and also the hated if the first borne be the sonne of the hated then when the time commeth that hee appointeth his sonnes to bee heires of that which hee hath hee may not make the sonne of the beloued first borne before the sonne of the hated which is the first borne but he shall acknowledge the sonne of the hated which is the first borne and giue him double portion of all that hee hath for hee is the first of his strength and to him belongeth the right of the first borne The Patriarkes and others the seruants of God although by diuine reuelation and other notice of the will of God they were certified that they might marrie many or sundrie wiues at one time yet did they exclude from their heritage and prerogatiue of the blessing all the children of those secondarie and after mariages This appeareth in Gen. 21.10 The sonne of the bond woman shall not be heire with my sonne Isaack yet was hee the eldest but was not the sonne of the first mariage Also an heire is the work and institution of nature and heritage is due to the sonne by nature therefore it is so due that hee must needs haue it seeing those things which come by nature or be natural are not mutable or to bee changed Moreouer this name Heire which in maner with all Nations is the eldest he is the successor of the law Nationall besides the lawes natural and diuine And that father who maketh another heire then is by these authorities appointed cannot but expresse himselfe a rebell in disobeying and contemning so great lawes and authorities beginning a new law of his owne head contrary thereunto Then what is more vniust then to doe contrary to all lawes and therwith to disobey the will of God to peruert the due order of discent preferring the second mariage before the first the yonger before the elder the late offpring before the first begotten so much tendred and respected Now as the greatest iniurie a father can do to his son is to disherit him so is it the most reproachfull blot or dammage to suffer the infamie and discredit of disherison For if the eldest sonne be worthie to be disherited in his fathers house he may be thought not worthie to draw breath out of it for that hee ought to bee conuinced faultie in those crimes and hainous offences which bee either repugnant to the dutie of a child or not meete for the profession of a Christian namely if hee strike or offer violence to his father Deut. 21.18 c. if he oppresseth him with some great wrong if he seeke his death or destruction by poysoning or otherwise if hee lie with his fathers wife Gen. 35.22 49. â— 4 1. Chro. 5.1 if he wil not suffer his father to make his will if he be not of the true and Catholike faith but is conuinced to be an heretike wherby his life and heritage is in hazard Or if he refuse to succour and deliuer his father out of prison by his suertiship or if he follow the trade and companie of such persons as in the law be counted infamous vile and most dishonest as Iuglers Sorcerers Coniurers Theeues and Pirats Or if he be an idiot a mad man a natural or lunatike person Or if the father offering him a meet mariage vnder 25. yeres he refuseth it delighteth to liue coÌ„tinually in whoredom and filthy order of life these such like be the causes that the ciuil or Ecclesiastical lawes do assigne The dutie of Children towards their parents THis dutie of children as it may bee gathered out of the holie Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they a Ephes 6.1 2 3. Col. 3.20 Pro. 8. and 4.1 and 23.22 obey their parents and do serue them and also do b Leuit. 10.3 Nâ—m 12.14 feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their harts minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3.
the earnest penny of my goodnes and grace toward thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs also a blessing of God First because wee can not liue long without participating in many and great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue and glorifie God In consideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord Psa 115.17.18 neither any that goe downe into the place of silence But we will prayse the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezechia King of Iudah also note in his canticle Esay 38.19 The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I doe this day The father to the children shall declare thy trueth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue is to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto thē And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne togither these two sentences That it may goe well with thee Ephe. 6.5 and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans state whether it be least malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some great calamities wherein they might peraduēture be entangled or vpō whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with thē But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honor their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children doe chance to liue long so far is long life from being vnto thē a blessing that to the contrary it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condēnation so as they had beene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it bee God so disposeth hereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honor their parents are blessed and the others accursed Eccle. 3.2 c. And although some parēts do not performe those duties towards their children inioyned thē from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free frō blame guiltines before God For though they can say as the children in Ezechiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that though the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some yong men maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing in the least occasion of good things The rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sins vnder their parents defaults are plainely left without excuse are iustly guiltie of the blood of their owne sinnes Labour therefore ye yong men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eies stay the mournfull sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if yee haue any nature in you haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whō ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despightfull violence in that yee are a corrosiue to her griefe when as ye should haue bin a crowne vnto her comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one special propertie of a liberal ingenious nature to bee careful so to liue that in time yee may be a glory to your fathers a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts admonitions before said are as a Sūmarie of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them doe pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents doe powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending thē so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to bee blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaac to his sonne Jacob doe manifestly declare Genes 27.28.29 What duties Masters and Mistresses owe to their seruants The householder is called Pater familias that is a father of a familie because hee should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentices and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing And lastly when correction is necessary Masters and Dames ought moderately to vse their authoritie ouer their seruants Ephes 6.9 that then they giue it them with such discretion pitie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare childrē remembring alway that they haue a master in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect spokē of before in the dutie of parents For so much as masters and householders are to their seruants and prentices in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to withhold and keepe backe their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their wel doing Iam. 5.4 Col. 4.1 Iob. 31.13.14.15 Deut. 24.14.15 good deseruing slenderly but to be careful of their seruants good estate as of their own not only in prouiding for them wholesome meat drinke lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as wel in sicknesse as in health Mat. 8.5.6 Luke 7.2 liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as christianitie liberalitie and equalitie shall
A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods word Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their Children and the Childrens towards their Parents The Masters dutie towards his Seruants and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters Gathered by R. C. ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BARNARDE What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour CYPRIAN It profiteth a man saith he nothing at all to professe vertue in words and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston for Thomas Man 1598. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE OF ROXALL ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace in the Countie of Warwicke to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple-hall in the Countie of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the father by Iesus Christ and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell to the end and in the end HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof then some such meetest persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall Charges the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherevpon calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof First for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintance with you therefore least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage so also you are and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous sincere profession of Gods word and religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly would yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition or to hide my tallent in a napkin I haue been no lesse careful then willing to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings For such Householders as pretend to be great protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long inough talke of discipline and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses according to the direction handled in this Treatise and so to suffer the holy religion of God to take place amongst their families at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profit little For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising and discipline in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in trueth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in trueth they were disordered and are still corrupted and mard at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnesse which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden dutie are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to bee practised within their seueral Households For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meat drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and Infidels do yeelde this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullocks should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants a much more christian care then he hath ouer his dumbe insensible beasts that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and waies of the Lorde that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly namely that he hath a church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed As the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly House-keepers Aquilla and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16.5 1. Cor. 16.19 As also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders are in the Lorde to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of the couenant or at least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education and information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alasse many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing mooued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know and learne that if
willeth the matrimoniall imbracements to be chast the bed to be vndefiled and their progeny vnspotted it is after the mind of S. Paul Ephes 5.25.26 27. a signe of the great mystery wherewith Christ doth indissolubly vnite himselfe vnto his Church Therefore thou oughtest so much as shall lie in thee to lift vp thy mind and to remember how great and worthy an image thou doest represent and that thy wife shall be vnto thee as the Church and thou vnto her as Christ therfore thou shouldest shew thy selfe vnto her as Christ shewed himselfe vnto his church The loue of Christ vnto his church is incredible and thy loue also to thy wife ought to be most effectuall Societie and to liue togither is the most surest and strongest knot to knit ioyne amitie loue among men al other beasts There can be no greater societie or companie then is between a man his wife whose house whose goods whose chamber c. is common their children are common they themselues partakers of all good euill successe of prosperity and aduersity the which societie and fellowship were sufficient to stir prouoke him that loueth not his wife to loue and beneuolence And what company or loue shall a man looke to haue of him that loueth not his wife There are that in loue and amitie looke for gaine as the vile Epicures do vnworthy to be beloued men which loue themselues not their friends And if we haue a regard vnto commoditie and profit there is nothing that giueth so much as doth a good wife no not horses oxen seruants or farmers for a mans wife is the fellowe and comforter of all cares and thoughts and doth more faithfull and true seruice vnto him then either maid-seruant or man-seruant the which doe serue men for feare or else for wages but thy wife will be ledde onely by loue and therefore shee doth euery thing better then all other And this doth God declare saying Let vs make Adam a helper like vnto himselfe By the Helper is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice and by the similitude and likenesse is signified loue For a seruant and hee that is hired are farre vnlike the master and are taken well nigh for no men A seruaunt in the stead and place of an horse or of an oxe the which must bee beaten and inforced to their worke doth serue his master A hired seruant is in the place of an hired horse for whē the hire is paid the societie fellowship dissolueth The child is part of the father and through a naturall pitie they loue each other but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children but the childten seldome labour or take paynes for their fathers and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses whereby in a manner it appeareth that their straight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake But the wife cleane contrary doth continually take paines for her husband who may neither as long as she liueth change house nor bed If commoditie and profit be looked for no commoditie excelleth this if thou shalt loue thy wife thou shalt liue most pleasantly if not thy life will be most miserable wretched For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee nor nothing more happy as to loue him that hateth thee Therefore loue that thou mayest be loued Now we will in few words shew the occasions of wedlocke why and wherefore it was ordeyned and for what purpose it should bee contracted that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent when eyther of them graunteth to marrie the other Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be but that marriage which was ordeined of such an excellent author as of GOD himselfe in such a worthy place as Paradise and of such an auncient time as in the state of Adams and Eues innocencie and after such a notable order but that it must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordinance of it Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefely three causes thereof The first is the procreation begetting Three causes of marriage bringing vp of children Gen. 1.27 28. 9.1 For in the children do the parents liue after a sort euen after death And if they be well and vertuously brought vp God is greatly honoured by them the common wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them For they are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore Parents ought to beginne betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breastes for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt haruest young branches will bow as a man will haue them But olde trees will sooner breake then bow c. But more of this shall be said after in the dutie of parents Although mariage be a holy and sanctified ordinance yet none may vse the benefite of it Psal 51.5 without some acknowledgement of originall sinne in that adulterie and whoredome are wrought by this meanes albeit this is not imputed to the children of God who vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be and so long as the husband and wife do keepe themselues togither in the feare of God and in all modestie and sobrietie If then in mariage it selfe there is such mischiefes what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes which are not sanctified without these considerations So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate neither are husbandes to turne their wiues into whores or wiues their husbands into whoremasters by immoderate intemperate or excessiue lust Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues but they may make their marriage polluted defiled if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse c. 1. Thess 4.4.5 Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife when it is with her as it is common to women c. Ezechiel 18.6 Leuiticus 18.19.24.27.29 and 29.18 This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Cananites out of their land The 1. cause The second occasion why Marriage was ordeined was that the wife might bee a lawfull remedie to auoid whoredome Wedlocke lawfull for such as haue not the gift of chastitie fornication and all filthie vncleane lusts 1. Cor. 7.2.3 c. Touching this point I will say no more for it is handled at large by others alreadie and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it The 3 cause The third and last cause was for mans commoditie to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse that the one may helpe comfort the other Gen. 2.18 in sicknesse in affliction and in all household cares and troubles as education of children and keeping the familie in order
slaunder of their profession Temperance in apparrell And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well bee without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children This dutie containeth foure poyntes namely in teaching or instructing them in religion in manners good example of life and skill of an occupation THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle in the feare and nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlines and vertuousnes Fourthly that they keep them from idlenes the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good Art or Occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion The first point 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is first that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become citizens of the church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place but alas there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to bee remembred The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name Dan. 1.7 that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias Genes 35.18 4.25.26 Luk. 1.63 Genes 16.15 21.3 And it is a thing worthie to bee wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them hauing any childrē borne that then they would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holie Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names Iosua 10.3 The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended And yet wee haue to remember that as those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of Patriarkes Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly christian names vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that bee not called by such christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloudshedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the yearely reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors and to descend of noble parentage maketh mē noble and renowned in deed vnles they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Luk. 1.59 and 2.21 Proper names are also giuen vnto vs for this vse and end that is to distinguish betwixt man and man Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen thē and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of the couenant so likewise after the same maner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember beare in mind that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God and receiued into his fauour and therfore that we are Gods own and as it were his goods and riches as who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they must assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himselfe hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought foorth into the light and indued with bodie and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God his first paterne Instructing correcting and praying make good children and happie Parents 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order Vnto the bodie nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometime correction that they may keepe their children in awe 1. King 2.2 3. Genes 34.30 Iohn 1.5 Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God By the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes 6.1 Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their
the life to come as for their bodies and this present life Parents that either cannot write and reade or will not or haue not time to teach their children will yet send theÌ„ to schoole and such as would haue them learne some Art or Occupation or traffique if themselues professe not the same wherein they like to employ their children they will yet put them to dwell with those that doe professe the same to the ende they may learne How therefore can parents excuse themselues when their children remaine vntaught in those things that concerne the glorie of GOD and life euerlasting But howsoeuer it bee if they be neither able of themselues nor doe prouide to haue theÌ„ taught by others they shall bee inexcusable in the sight of God and the ignorance of the children ingendring contempt of God loue of the world and neglect of heauenly felicitie will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents so that if they account not their children as beasts without soule or if they loue them with the due loue belonging to parents let them declare their loue especially to the soule the christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure Some say it would bee a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neere kindred and consequently their children and this commeth of naturall affection But might it not bee a greater discomfort for them euen in their life time to see them goe to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination bee a great helpe or profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and shape them that way yea euen such that by experience we finde this olde prouerbe true Vse ouer commeth nature As the wheele-wright doth by strength bow his timber letting it lie long in that bent it abideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good feed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase Iron weareth with handling The water by continuall dropping weareth the stone Wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome be brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wit most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remeÌ„bring that a seale entereth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales bawdie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children least they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folks Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old prouerbe saith Halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tie a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation eyther to learning they then ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall bee râ—ligious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God Many men in the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth them to enquire of his or her trueth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a master before they make inquirie of his honestie christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some smal inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When they buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken least they should be deceiued in a small piece of money yet doe they not sound whether the master to whom they commit their child bee vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some doe respect their friendship with some masters rather then their vertue and so doe commit to theÌ„ their children least they should be angrie for putting them to another These men doe resemble and bee like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest haue any waightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a Voyage through some dangerous Sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy Ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because hee is thy Friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profite honour safetie and saluation of thy child Others commit their children either to him that is best cheape or by whom they may grow into greatest aduauncement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may eyther spare or get worldly goods Let them also bee carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure accustome them to vertue As indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed doe farre excell such as onely doe beget them for of these they receiue life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens masters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profite and goe forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the masters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The masters eye fatteth the horse and this The masters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendarion to sundrie men women for
and errour in superstition and idolatrie The second poynt is The second point that fathers and mothers doe nourish and traine vp their children in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue They bee charged by the fift commandement to feed to nourish Esay 28.10 Deut. 6.20 Exod. 12 26. and 13.14 The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to nourish them soberly to keepe them vnder obedience and to teach them good manners and to bring vp their children to teach them the principles seeds of christian religion to see they learne the Catechisme to teach them to praise God before and after meales as also to teach them by little and little by often repetitions to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted to teach them manners how to behaue themselues decently in their going in their speaking and gesture of their bodies how to order them selues reuerently in the Church how abroad in all places and towards all men in all honest companies and so to begin some conscience in them For it were better for children to bee vnborne then vntaught Now contrary to this is when parents suffer their children to haue their will from the beginning when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie and by being too hastie with them when they let the common ignorance of the word to be rooted in them and haue no care to frame them to learne truth and godlinesse and so to prepare them to be apt to receiue profit from the publike Ministrie Pro. 23.13 19.18 29.15.17 22.6.15 13.24 It is therefore meet that all fathers and mothers if they wil haue ioy of their children that then they correct them when they doe amisse and keepe them in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue according as the holy Ghost counselleth by the mouth of the wise man in sundry places For as the common Prouerbe is Byrch breaketh no bones neither moderate correction bringeth danger of death but oftentimes it bridleth keepeth backe the child that otherwise would runne headlong into hell and so is a meane to saue his soule For the fountaine of all vertue and chiefe of all mans felicitie is good instruction and right bringing vp And contrariwise children euill brought vp bring shame great heart breake to their parents As old Elie was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes 1. Sam. 2.12 3 12.13.14 4.11 1. King 1.5.6 2. King 2.23.24 which is a notable example necessarie for all parents to imprint in their hearts that they may see their children well taught and corrected least they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon them as did vpon this Elie who honoured his children aboue the Lord and therefore the Lord cut him and them off For the comfort hee had of his sonnes was this the Arke the witnesse of the Lords presence was lost thirtie thousand of the people slaine his two sonnes Hophni and Phinehas killed who when newes thereof came to him for sorrow fell backeward and brake his necke vpon this his daughter in law fell in trauell and in trauell died the remnant of his house was glad to craue beg for a small peece of siluer and a morsell of bread Also the two and fortie children 2. King 2.23.24 that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet saying Come vp thou bald head were rent in peeces with Bears Thus we see that children vntaught and vnchastised bring shame and confusion to their parents Let them therfore alway remember this How children should be brought vp that they prouide and bestow diligent labour that their children be forthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse Hold thy children in awe and they shall haue thee in reuerence whilst their wits are yet voyd from cares vices and whilst their age is tender and tractable and their minds flexible and readie to euery thing who then will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts if they be taught them For this is certaine that we remember nothing so well when we bee olde as those things we learne in yong yeares It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straightway while it is moyst to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilst they are new to dye and litte the wooll while it is faire and white and not defiled with any spots The Emmets or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes Pro. 30.25 6.6.7 8. in summer whereby they should liue in winter Bees learne not to make their cels to gather iuyce and to make honey but all these things bee done by instruction of nature So euery liuing thing the lesse meete it is to learning so much the more it hath of natiue prudence But man neither can eate nor goe nor speake except he bee taught Then if fertile fields for want of tillage waxe barren if trees being neglected either bring forth no fruite or else the same vnsauourie without diligence or grafting and pruning if dogs be vnmeete to hunt the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto how wilde then and vnprofitable creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught his horse well broken his land well husbanded his house goodly trimmed richly furnished and yet to haue his childe shamely rude in maners and altogether voide of al garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse What a great follie and madnesse is this for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions and to haue no regarde of his childe for whom the same is gotten Which is no lesse shame to heare then if a man taking thought for the shooe would set nought by the foot or with great care and studie would prouide that there should be no fault in the childes garment not regarding the health of his bodie This is as the common saying is To be penny-wise and pound-foolish to saue a sticke and burne a house to saue a ioynt and lose the bodie But oh vaine man hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne a faire building and full of lands then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse and so leaue him a vertuous conscience Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him Mat. 6.19 with rust and moth to be consumed then for to teach him the knowledge of God which will not canker but last for aye Most parents a pitifull thing to remember be louing to the bodies of their children but their soules they care not for they desire their welfare in this world but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come Yea fathers prouide lands rents reuenues great annuities fees and offices for their children here but alas
you of a great abuse which for the most part is committed in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neyther you your selues neyther your children nor seruants do knowe the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion is this deuotion becomming Gods house is not this all one as if a man should say stay GOD heere comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must doe my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till hee bee past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God this doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answere him for it Is there no time to shewe our dutie towards men but euen then when wee are about Gods seruice Why know thou when man standeth before God how honourable so euer hee bee hee is but dung and filth and not to bee regarded and let Parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to robbe God of his worship but there is an appoynted time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third chapter well admonisheth Eccles 3.1 To all things there is an appoynted time and a time to euery purpose vnder the heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33.9 that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knâ—w he his bretheren nor his owne children euen so beloued our eyes and our minds deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when wee are in his seruice that wee should not see or regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second chapter of the Gospell after S. Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull childe that euer was borne of woman yet when hee was about his fathers businesse hee saith vnto his mother Woman Ioh. 2.4 what haue I to do with thee which examples will teach vs that when we are a bout Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to bee obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place example of this wee haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the two strangers as it is written Gen. 18.8 And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which hee had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eat Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. Their fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this Mar. 10.17 1 King 2.19 4. The first thing is that they giue the chiefe place to their betters and to offer the same to others in curtesie 1. King 2.11 Luke 14.8.9.10 Pro. 1â— 33 and 16.18 6. Their last dutie is to vncouer their head And though wee finde no example for this in holy scripture as beeing not vsed in those former times yet seeing the thing is ciuill and comely and one of the speciall curtesies of our daies we will confirme it also with the authoritie of Gods word Phil. 4.8 Whatsoeuer things are honest whatsoeuer things are of good report those things do And again 1 Cor. 14 40. Let all things be done decently and according to order But this kind of ciuilitie is both decent and according to order as also honest and of good report and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word and so worthy to be followed Therefore if our children bee not thus trained vp in nurture while they be yong when they be olde they shall be found so head-strong that they will not be gouerned but this consequent must needes follow that all order shall bee taken away and then confusion must needs ensue For if nourture be neglected then our elders and gouernours shall not bee reuerenced if they be not reuerenced they will not be regarded if they be not regarded they will not be obeyed and if they be not obeyed then steps in rebellion and euery one will do what he listeth These vices and great abuses are to bee reformed and with speede amended not onely of many parents and maisters themselues but also that they labour with all diligence that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants first the grosse ignorance in the grounds of christian religion which yet remaineth in any Parents Maisters and their families who giue themselues to sleepe in the church to talke one with another to turne ouer their bookes there and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or praiers in the time of publike preaching and prayer all which no doubt are greeuous sinnes and transgressions and besides many absent theÌ„selues from holy exercises and specially vppon the Lords day then lying in their beds haunting of Ale-houses and tauernes riding and going abroad about their worldly affaires for pleasure and profit beeing also wearie whilst they be present at prayers and preaching seldom do they preuent or come before prayers nay many come in the midst thereof to the great disturbance of the same and others that are there and some againe before the sermons are ended other some after the prayers made and before the singing of the Psalmes and the vsual blessing to be pronounced depart thence whereof they as wel as those that tarrie should bee partakers posting also out of the church as it were from a play or may-game as though they supposed that no more reuerence should be shewed there then in other places or that some part of diuine seruice belonged vnto them and not vnto other some whereas in very trueth euery one ought to be alike partakers of the whole And how should wee looke for any goodnesse from God where this that is the seede of all sinne and the nurse of al abhominations raigneth and swaieth so much Let such as are fathers and mothers and haue children know in what sort they must be carefull for them Their children are a good blessings of God they be members of the body of Christ Math. 16.14 and the sonnes of God The kingdome of heauen belongeth to theÌ„ God hath appoynted his Angels to guide and leade them and to shield them from euill and their Angels bee in the presence of God and do behold the face of their father which is in heauen They be fresh plants of the church Who knoweth what necessary instruments they may be in the house
the schoole to bee taught of the master if they learne it will be the better for them if not they haue the more to answer for what can we doe more But remember O man consider O woman whosoeuer thus speaketh for that sins sake and the want of prayer there may be a plague vpon the Pastors paines and a curse vpon the teachers trauell Children profit more by good example in one month then by instruction in a whole yeare If parents therefore would haue their children blessed at the Church and at the schoole let them beware they giue their children no corrupt example at home by any carelesnesse prophanenesse or vngodlinesse for whē examples are set before childrens eyes they are easily led away to that which is euill otherwise parents will doe them more harme at home then both Pastor schoolemaster can do good abroad for the corrupt example of the one fighteth with the good doctrine of the other which is by so much the more dangerous because that corrupt walking is armed with nature and therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side And further experience teacheth vs that children like or mislike more by countenance gesture and behauiour then by any rule doctrine or precept whatsoeuer Some there be that will not haue their children taught vntill they be ten or twelue yeeres old because as they say at that age they haue but an apish imitation To whom wee answere that although they cannot then deepely discerne nor profoundly conceiue things yet how many things before these yeeres will they both receiue and remember And we demaund if children be apish in imitating and following that whilst they bee young which they will haue the habit qualitie or propertie of when they be old may they not much better doe apishly good whiles they are young which they may carefully doe when they are old besides let them goe so vntaught and they will grow so head-strong that they will sooner be broken then bended and sure it is that one stripe or two words will doe more good to a child in time then a hundreth stripes afterward And here let parents be admonished of their vndiscreet correction who doe their children more harme in shewing a merrie countenance after their discipline vsed then they doe good by their chastisement of them whiles they doe correct them Neyther doe we purpose to take away naturall affections and a christian kind of compassion in all our censures for it is our great complaint of the brutish vnmercifulnesse of many parents herein but we would wish Christians to correct their vndiscreet affections herein by heauenly wisedome Neither are we so stoicall as to denie a more mild and affable kind of speech to bee both lawfully and conueniently vsed to children and yet we wish it to be voyd of all vnseemely lenitie and without all shew of foolish vaine and vnnecessarie behauiour To be briefe how needfull household gouernment is towards children may appeare by the slender thriuing smal profiting either of religion or vertue either in the Church or Cōmon-wealth Speake men of discipline neuer so much cōplaine they of the want of Church gouernment neuer so lowd preach they teach they neuer so much abroad vnles they wil begin discipline in reforming their houses and giue religion some roome at home they shall trauell much profit little And surely if men be carefull to reforme themselues first then their families if their charge be greater then their circuits and prouinces wherein the Lord hath placed thē it were the best way to moue the Lord to bestow reformation and discipline on his Church among vs and of all meanes that now may be hoped for this seemeth best for of particular persons come families of families townes of townes prouinces of prouinces Realmes so that conueying discipline thus from one to another in time that shortly it would come into the Church Well we say let there be neuer so good lawes in cities neuer so pure orders in churches if there be no practise at home if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done cōplaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how would hope sustaine these men that others wil performe this duty for thē to whō this charge doth far lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remēber that therfore they haue disordered disobediēt childrē to thēselues because they haue bin disobedient childrē vnto the Lord disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou mayest haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember how that God which on his part protested to father Abraham Gen. 17.1 that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seed and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this of the couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seed then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seed of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may bee an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou O man O woman that mayst doe thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for him and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastours paynes and the Teachers trauell but if thou despisest these dueties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon thy child at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will bee thy God and blesse thy seed if thou beest faithfull thou mayest both hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seed and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seed is accursed Obiection But had not Jacob wicked children and Dauid godly sonnes and doth not dayly experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes Answere for
Thirdly that they patiently take c Pro. 15.5.32 correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and heartie prayers to God for them 1. Tim. 5.4 Matth. 15.4 5 6. Genes 47.12 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth Fathers and Mothers are to their children in Gods stead Exod. 20.12 Deut. 5.13 By honour is meantal kinde of duty which children owe to their Parents As the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authoritie of their parents to obey and serue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and mother whâ—ch honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper hand onely but that they must loue them with all their hearts feare and dread them and that they cheerefully doe their commandements will and pleasure and that they seeke their worship credit profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they should giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and they owe to them euen their owne selues and al that they are able to doe yea and more then they are able By this word Honor is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that childreÌ„ owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Thou shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it Matth. 22.39 For who can be a neerer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to bee loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whoÌ„ next after God they haue their life and being together with many great and continual benefits towards them Also the loue that parents doe beare to their children besides so many their labours sorowes troubles and vexations should binde them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heare theÌ„ thay they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children bee as hard and colde as stones yet the experience and the daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot And so take from children their dutie to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Iesus Christ said Ye are the children of the diuell Ioh. 8.44 This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely toward such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their masters euen toward such as bee rigorous For if we ought to loue all the childreÌ„ of Adam euen those whom wee know not or our enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents albeit they shuld intreate vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deede and verily the principal cause stil abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofes and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their childlike affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguish weeping sorow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and indure for them This loue must bee accompanied with reuerence and respect to say the truth Matth. 23.9 albeit the name of father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one father euen him that is in heauen Yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon hee vnderstanding that his mother Berthsheba was comming to speake with him 1. King 2.19 arose from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and set her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnes neither his royall estate priuiledge him from this respect honour due to his mother But when the sonne doth execute his magistracie or publike office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a Magistrate not as a sonne but when hee is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honour or wealth do despise their parents if they bee of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of theÌ„ So that that man putteth off the affection of a childe to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a son But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother as is aforesaid but also called her mother saying 1. King 2.10 Mother aske and J will not denie thee And this doe we the rather note also vpon another consideration namely that his example coÌ„demneth the custome of these daies wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base contemptible that the childreÌ„ of kings princes yea euen of mean gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Sir my Lord my Ladie Madam c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implieth not onely this outward reuerence but also that wee should so esteeme of them as that neither our selues should despise them neither should wee suffer others to haue them in contempt And this are wee to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ Iohn 8.49 I honour my father but you dishonor me He there defendeth the honour of his father against the false opinions and slanders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of theÌ„ but also will themselues so farre exceede as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lie vncouered Gen. 9.22 called his brethren to shew them his fatherâ— shame But so odious was
this impietie in the sight of God that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost cursed both him and all his posteritie And therefore we well and truly may say that those children who in stead of defending the honour of their parents doe lay them open to shame and reproofe and come of the cursed seed of Ham. This dutie of honoring parents The honour due to parents is performed and paied when they doe worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them as to thinke that â—hey are giuen to them of God Childrens duty is from their beginning to their ending to be subiect obedient and helpfull to their Parents to the end that they should reuerence loue and alwaies haue a care of them if for nothing els yet for the Lord sake who is and doth thinke himselfe despised so long as children contemne their parents and either think or little regard them So then children honour their parents when with their help and counsell they ayde them in their olde age and vnweildie crookednesse when they ease and helpe them in the time of their neede Matth. 15.4 5 6 or succour them otherwise in any case else and do wholly bestow themselues and all that they haue Exod. 21.15.17 Leuit. 20.9 Pro. 20.20 and 30.17 Deut. 27.16 to do them good withall yea they ought not to giue them a rough or stubborne answer or once so much as to mumble or mutter an answere against their parents neither to smite or curse or speake euill of their father and mother vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same What children do to their parents they doe to God so that they may not purloyne or diminish any of their substance Pro. 28.24 Children haue alwaies to remember that whatsoeuer they doe to their fathers and mothers bee it good or euill they doe it to God when they please them they please God and when they disobey them they disobey God when their parents are iustly angrie with them God is angrie with them neither can it be that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe no although all the Saints in heauen should intreat for them vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother If children and seruants would alwaies keep in minde this saying so to doe and behaue themselues to their parents Matth. 7.12 masters dames as they would haue their children and seruants to doe and behaue themselues to them when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents masters or dames then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents masters and dames more dutifully and faithfully then now they doe Matth. 7.2 Luke 6.3.8 For let them assure themselues that such measure as they now meat to their pareÌ„ts masters and dames such will bee measured to them againe by their children and seruants Also children must bee carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers mothers and to suffer themselues to bee gouerned by them and to bee mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them and herewithall they must know that they are not at their owne libertie to doe as they list so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them and not to fall out among themselues Psal 133.1 but mutually to loue and helpe one another And yet children haue alwaies to remember that they may not in any case obey their parents when they shall commaund them to doe or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God And yet they are to bee thought well of For example Ionathan who with others obeyed not his father Sauls commaundement 1. Sam. 20.28 c. 22.17 Dan. 3.18 Acts 4.19 who charged him to persecute Dauid therfore hee is worthily commended in the holie Scriptures For the duties of the first table are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second table This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers ought in verie deede to bee vnto them as a ladder or staier Matth. 23.9 to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God who is our chiefe father As children receiue of their parents three things to wit life maintenance instruction so for these three they owe other three namely for life they owe loue for maintenance they owe obedience for instruction they owe reuerence For their life they must feruently loue their parents for their maintenance they must dutifully obey their parents as masters and for their instruction they must cheerefully reuerence their parents as their Tutors And further children must remember that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents to take of them their beginning of life and that they might nourish and bring them vp and of rude and almost brutish things they might make them able to helpe liue of themselues yea and such mothers as are godly and vertuous doe suffer and endure more paine griefe in the bearing bringing vp and nourishing of their children then the fathers do So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes that christian parents do for their children greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them and greater is the care griefe and trouble which they take for them then any man how learned so euer he be is able to expresse And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue to esteeme well to obey to be kinde faithfull and dutifull and to reuerence their parents and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the hart yet these were sufficient Maides and young women are to be put in minde and alwaies to remember that the best portion the greatest inheritance and the most precious iewell that they can bring them on their mariage day is Shamefastnesse the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women And therefore they must carefully shunne and auoide all idle and wanton talke nice lookes dalliance and light countenance when they walke abroad or bee in companie A man needeth many things as wisedome eloquence knowledge of things remembrance skill in some trade or craft to liue by iustice courage and other things and qualities moe which were too long to rehearse and though some of these be lacking yet he is not to be disliked so that he haue many of them But in a maide no man will looke for eloquence great wit ordering of the Common-wealth prudence c. Finally no man wil looke for any other thing of a woman When a woman loseth her honestie then hath she lost her chiefe treasure but her Honestie the which onely if it be lacking she is like a man that wanteth all that hee should haue For in a maide the honestie and chastitie is in stead of all She verily may trulie be said to bee an euill keeper that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping and put in trust to her with
much cōmendation of words and especially which no man will take frō her against her will nor touch it except she be willing her selfe The which thing onely if a woman remember it will cause her to take great heed vnto to be a more warie carefull keeper of her honestie which alone being lost though all other things be neuer so wel and safe yet they perish togither therewith because shee that hath once lost her Honestie should thinke there is nothing lost Take from a maid or woman her beautie take from her kindred riches comelinesse eloquence sharpnesse of wit cunning in her craft giue her Chastitie and you haue giuen her all things And on the other side giue her all these thinges and call her whoore or naughtie packe with that one word you haue taken all from her and left her bare and foule How precious a iewell Chastitie is may easily bee gathered from the example of Dinah the daugther of Leah Gen. 34.1.2 which shee bare vnto Iacob who when hee heard that shee was rauished and defiled by Sechem the sonne of Hamos the Hiuite Lord of that Countrie his mind was grieuously wounded with this great shame and reproath Children may not marrie without the consent and agreement of their Parents so that an vnlawfull promise made by the childe may lawfully be broken Children may not forget this dutie who hauing receyued their being from their parents and being brought vp by them with great paines much cost they should not therefore so much as giue any liking much lesse speech of marrige without the consent of parents or of those which are set ouer them by their parents the dutie of thankfulnesse requiring it at their hands and not onely in regard of thankfulnesse is this dutie to bee performed to their parents but euen in regard of their owne inabilitie as being not experienced in such things and their wits being not so ripe as their parents they wanting wisedome and discretion to behaue themselues as they ought For some children know not what are meet and conuenient for them nor whether they be of meet age and condition to marrie Which inabilitie being in the sonnes is much more in the daughters as being the weaker by nature and more vnable to prouide for themselues and therefore it is necessarie that they should not marrie without the consent and direction of their parents but to be at their bestowing for to doe otherwise is a sinne euen that nature it selfe abhorreth and all sound Writers old and new doe vtterly disallow It is a sweet wedding whē the father and the mother bring a blessing to the feast and a heauie vnion which is cursed the first day that it is knit And for so much as marriage being the meanes the which God himselfe hath ordained and sanctified for the propagation and increase of mankind that being taken in hand in his feare a godly seed being multiplied growen vp here on earth the same may be blessed to the constitution and making of a Church the which may serue him in holinesse and righteousnes when the same is taken in hand with the breach of his commandement so far off is it that any blessing is to be hoped for that contrariwise his hot indignation wrath and heauy curse hangeth ouer that house familie where the parties which are the principall pillers and vpholders of the same are linked and tyed togither in such a band of wedlocke whose links and inclosings are not fastned coupled togither with the necessary lawful assent liking of the parents whose authoritie and consent ought to beare the chiefest sway and strike likewise the greatest stroke in this most holy and heauenly action And likewise as marriage that is begunne and enterprised in the feare of God according to his word there God is well pleased there the parties so matched liue togither in a ioyfull agreement and linking the one to the other there God is honoured and serued in sinceritie and trueth there the children when God giueth them with the rest of the familie are instructed and brought vp in knowledge of religion and grounds of faith so on the other side the regard of that which God especially commandeth being shut out of our marriages there must needs ensue his dislike and displeasure there is iarre and discord there Gods honour is neglected there household discipline and christian instruction of such as belong vnto our charge goeth vtterly to wracke and is nothing at all regarded And no maruel for if where God blesseth all things goe well and doe prosper then consequently where hee curseth there nothing thriueth hath good successe or goeth happily forward It may appeare by sundry examples both before the Law was giuen and after that this is a dutie required of children towards their parents namely to haue their consent in contracting of marriage As these places doe plainely shew 1. Sam. 18.17 Gen. 21.21 and 24.3 c. and 21.1.2 and 29.19 and 34.4 Deut. 7.3.4 Iudg. 14.1 c. 1. Cor. 7.36.38 Whereby is manifestly proued that first it is against the law of nature Secondly for that the parents haue authoritie ouer their childrē Exod. 21.2 Leuit. 25.39 Deut. 15.12 more then they haue ouer their seruants Thirdly because children are their fathers goods riches and therefore they must not bestow themselues in marriage but must be bestowed of their parents Fourthly for that parents haue authoritie ouer the vowes of their children Numb 30.4 5 6. Fiftly if a mans daughter be inticed Contracts voyd without the consent of parents yet her father may refuse being not auaileable or of any force without his consent Exod. 22.16.17 Besides all this what cleerer proofe can we haue then the fift commandement in the which children are commanded to honor their fathers and mothers with a blessing promised to those which performe the same whereby we gather by the nature of contraries that there is a curse also belonging to all those children that shall dishonour them And in that God willeth that the parents by their children should be honoured he meaneth that they should in all humilitie and modestie reuerence them with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them and with all willingnesse shew themselues thankefull for their creation education sustentation and all other benefits that vnder God they haue receiued from them being readie by all meanes they possibly may to imitate and expresse towards thē the nature of the Storke whose propertie as they write of them is to prouide meat feed their dams when through age they grow so old that they are not able for to helpe themselues that is to say they must to their very vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall of some part of those vnrequitable paines the which their louing parents haue taken with them and make some amends for the vncounteruailable kindnes that they haue shewed towards them But where they bestow
themselues in marriage without the consent of their parents there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respects that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankful vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that children carrie towards their parents a certaine honest and modest shamefastnes ioyned with a bashfull awefulnes standing in feare of them the which worketh in them a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them as that they haue an especial respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things neither of a care to please them or of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth forth it selfe in that willingly without murmuring or grudging they be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by their parents being ready to doe all lawfull things the which they commaund them and to refraine from all those things the which they shall forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindful of benefits receiued therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bin pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion ministred whereby hee may conceiue vnkindnes And by this familiar discription of these three heads wherof stādeth chiefely the honor due vnto parents we may cleerely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers doe neither stand in any awfull feare of them as also whom they would be loth to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them or haue any regard that they bee not causers to make their friends or parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spight of the teeth of their fathers mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankful vnto them and so consequently they doe not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God the which must without true and vnfained repentance pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his heauy and hot indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good natured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honor and obedience they doe owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie hee hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them Children mariageable are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choise to incline their minds to accept of the same such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed or euil fauoured nor of a contrary religion they willingly submit thēselues vnto their choise which if for the present or vpon the suddaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choise but also to subdue in thē this corrupt affection and to frame their wils to bee pliable vnto their fathers in such lawfull cases As the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham Gen. 9.22 the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it 2. Sam. 15.1 c. 18.9 Likewise Absolon who vsed wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father but he for this his rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children where he saith If any man haue a sonne Deut. 21.18.19.20.21 that is stubborne and disobedient which wil not hearkē vnto the voice of his father the voice of his mother they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him bring him out vnto the Elders of his citie and vnto the gate of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his citie This our sonne is stubborne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a ryot our and a drunkard Then all the men of his Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death so thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it feare For euē as a long a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient childrē so on the other side Exod. 20.12 Ephes 6.2 al disobedient vnthankful obstinate childrē are assured of the punishmēt of infamy ioyned with diuers great calamities torments 1. Sā 2.22 1. Kin 1.25 c. Deu. 21.18 c. Pro. 20.20 30.17 Deut. 28.15 c. Leuit. 26.14 c. And although that the temporal officers be negligent in punishing such disobediēce yet shal they not escape vnpunished For the vengeance of God shal accōpany thē vntil they be vtterly destroied For there is nothing more vnnatural thē to see childrē dishonor disobey their parents and inferiors their superiors Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the belly of her Dam seeketh her own life with her Dams death so contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue benificence and obedience Gen. 46.29 c. and 48.11.12 Luke 2.5 extended towards his father Iacob and his brethren who both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ also was obedient to his parents euen vntill death Deut. 5.16 So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeeres to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed Exod. 20.12 Ephes 6.2 the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may bee long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And as S. Paul doth note that it is the first cōmandement with promise For albeit there bee a promise added to the second yet is the same common vnto the whole law but this is peculiar and especiall to all such children as honour their parents for herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to them But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnes and loue toward thē It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy
they will conuay God his blessings to their posterities then they must do and performe the duties belonging therevnto yea let them if they be loth to conuey God his iudgements to their children carefully auoyde the meanes vnto it And surely Luk. 2 2â— as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Simeon to depart in peace leauing their wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord so in the extremitie of death no one thing wil bee more greeuous vnto Parents and Householders then the Lord hauing giuen them the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that their own tormented coÌ„sciences shall presse them who in as much as they could haue helped their children and seruants forward to their damnation so which is more fearefull they shall haue them spewing and foming out on their faces continuall curses in hell accusing them for euer to be murtherers of their soules and cut throats of their saluation Is it any maruell if Householders many times finde small obedience and lesse dutifulnesse and faithfulnesse at the hands of their children and seruants seeing they omit and leaue vndone the performance of these so christian duties towards them herein expressed and inioyned of the Lord For so doth God often leaue manifest tokens of his wrath in punishing disobedience with disobedience How can any maister of a Household whosoeuer he bee looke to haue his familie trustie and faithfull vnto him and yet he himselfe is faithlesse to God Doth he maruell that his children and seruants feare not him whereas hee himselfe feareth not the Lord Will he maintaine his authority ouer those vnder his charge and he himselfe doth not yeelde obedience vnto the authoritie of God his Creator Moreouer it is manifest that the goodman of the house by planting Gods religion in his familie shall not a little aduance and set forward his owne priuat profit and commoditie For wicked and vngodly seruants are for the most part loyterers pickers and deceitfull whereas on the other side godly seruants are iust and faythfull whom in his absence he may trust to doo such businesse and worke as hee willeth them to doo Gen. 30.30 and 39.5 c. If maisters of families be carefull and desirous as in conscience they ought that their wiues children seruants should reforme themselues and endeuour to practise such duties as do appertaine and belong vnto them then they must likewise be diligent and carefull to reforme themselues both inwardly outwardly in such poynts and duties as hitherto they haue left vndone otherwise they may iustly say vnto theÌ„ Phisitian Luk. 4.23 and 22.32 Rom. 2.21 heale your selfe or why doe you wil vs to doe that which you do not practise your selfe For as one candle cannot light another if it selfe be out euen so a maister of a Household shall not reforme those of his charge and inflame them with the loue of God and godlinesse if he himselfe be voyd of the same Let euery master of a Household therfore say and performe with Iosua I and my familie will serue the Lord Iosua 24.15 And likewise let euery christian â—adie Mistresse and Dame say with Hester I and my maides will doo the like Hest 4.16 And so no doubt God will poure his blessings on them and theirs in this life and euerlasting happinesse on them in the life to come Touching the booke it selfe I will not say any thing to the commendatioÌ„ thereof but onely this That I am assured that if such duties as are mentioned therein were dulie and carefully practised of al such as are named in it theÌ„ no doubt vertue and godly religion would greatly florish to the aduauncement of God his glory and also sinne and wickednesse would then decrease and fal downe to the vtter subuersion and ouerthrow of Sathans kingdome This Treatise I confesse is not garnished with eloquence not full of great cunning nor beautified with flower of mans wisedome neither yet doth it discourse or treate of high or darke things neither is it stuffed with subtill questions and arguments nor indited with Rhetoricall and eloquent stile as those commonly be which are propounded and set foorth to the world rather for boasting and vaine-glorie sake then for any desire to edifie and to do others good This booke is plaine The profit of this booke and without any great gaynesse but yet so ful of good necessary and wholesome instructions that whosoeuer readeth and maâ—keth it with a right disposed minde and willing to practise it without respect to any other thing then God the reformation of his life and the saluation of his owne soule which is the onely marke that christians must leuell at hee may reape singular profit thereby Good bookes as ladders to climbe vp to heauen And vndoubtedly it may well bee saide that vnto true christians good and holy bookes are as ladders to climbe vp to heauen as sparkes to kindle the heate of the spirit when it is quenched or waxed colde in them and as proppes to stay vppe their faith that it may increase Praying therefore your worships to accept of my dutifull good will and to pardon my boldnesse I cease to adde any further thing beseeching God of his endlesse mercy for his Christs sake to strengthen you still in that good and happie course of his word and all other good learning to furnish you all aboundantly with all spirituall and heauenly knowledge to the carefull practizing of the same in the fruites of your most holy and blessed callings to the aduancement of the glorie of our God and to your owne euerlasting comfort in Christ Iesus So be it Your worships in all Christian dutifulnesse most willing R. C. A GODLIE FORME OF Household Gouernment carefully to bee practised of all Christian Householders A Householde is as it were a little common wealth by the good gouernment wherof Gods glorie may be aduaunced the common wealth which standeth of seuerall families benefited and al that liue in that familie may receiue much comfort and commoditie But this gouernment of a familie is not very common in the world The rule of good gouernment is wisedome Prou. 24.3.4 for it is not a thing that men can stumble on by chance but wisdome must leade vs vnto it Though wisedome saith Salomon is an house builded and with vnderstanding it is established and by knowledge shall the Chambers thereof bee filled with all precious pleasant riches that is shall obtayne all kind of blessings See also Pro. 28.2 by which two places it is manifest that such families as are not ordered by hap-hazard or as it falles but by Wisedome Not carnall wisedome Discretion and Counsell do prosper in inward and outward goods and indure long When we speake of Wisedome we do not meane that this gouernment can be in al points executed by naturall reason and Wisedome for mans wisedome reacheth but vnto
looke to their households that they should serue God with them and did constantly performe it that then they had no seruants at all Was so great a man as Iehosua without seruants when hee promised before so many witnesses that he his house wold serue the Lord Was Dauid left alone and constrained to doe all himselfe when as being a mighty King hee bound himselfe vnto it by that song which he made for the same purpose wherein hee saith Mine eyes shal be vnto the faithfull of the land that they may dwell with me Psal 101.6 7. he that walketh in a perfect way he shall serue me there shall no deceitfull person dwel in mine house he that telleth lyes shall not remaine in my sight Had not Abraham a great household Gen. 14.14 when hee was able of the sudden to carrie forth with him of theÌ„ that were borne brought vp in his house three huÌ„dred and eighteene men in armour to rescue his brother Lot Of whom notwithstanding it is said that he would teach his household the way of the Lord. As it appeareth he did indeed wheÌ„ by his only perswasion at the word of God â—hap 18.12 All the males were contented to be circumcised and to receiue that Sacrament vnknowne before and painful also ignominious to the flesh if they had looked only to the outward signe and must not that worthy Captaine of an hundred ItaliaÌ„ souldiers needs haue a greater family theÌ„ many of these that cauill at this doctrine of whom the spirit of trueth reporteth That hee feared God Act. 10.2 and all his household Obiection What shall wee thinke of all these men Shall we ignorantly presume to the further deceiuing of our selues and hardening vs in this sinne that the times were then better good seruantes were more plentifull Or must wee needes confesse as the trueth is indeede Answere that these men vsed more meanes to make their seruants the seruants of God then men doe now adaies and that so the blessing of God was greater vpon them And is it not set downe in writing for our learning to shewe vs what is that which we might looke for at Gods hands if we would walke in the same way that they did seeing there is no respect of persons times or places with him Secondly hee must set an order in his house for the seruice of God to witte that morning and euening before meales and after meales prayers and thankes may bee made vnto God and so hee acknowledged to bee the authour not only of all spiritual graces that belong to a better life but also of al temporal blessings that belong to this life for seeing that it is Gods good hand ouer vs that doth defend vs and all our family in the night froÌ„ outward dangers and giueth vs freedome from feares and terrors and from Sathans rage and also giueth vs rest and comfortable sleepe for the refreshing of our fraile bodies is it not meete wee should begge it at his hand by prayer before we prepare our selues to rest and praise him for it when wee rise from it Againe seeing that euery day we are subiect to innumerable dangers which we know not of and both wisedom strength to follow good and honest callinges and also the blessing vpon our labours to make vs prosper by them are from God alone should we not beginne the day with suit vnto God for his gracious protection and for his mercifull blessing of vs 1. Tim. 4.5 And seeing meates and drinks are sanctified vnto vs on Gods parte by the worde and on ours by prayer doubtles though God hath by his worde sanctified them they are vnholy vnto vs when we doe not for our part sanctifie them by faithfull prayer and thankesgiuing And this was Dauids practise Psal 55.17 Euening morning and at noonetide will I pray and make a noyse and he will heare my voyce If any say it is sufficient for the gouernour to charge euery one in his family to do it priuatly by himselfe so might the Prince say it is inough to do as Darius did to charge euery one in all his dominions Dan. 6.26 to worship no God but Daniels God Yet godly Princes thought it their dutie to set vp the worship of God in their dominions to take order that God might be worshipped publikely ioyntly of al in their land So did Iob for his household Iob. 1.5 6 not onely bid his children pray to God by themselues but he appointed set times of praying togither sacrificing and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto Againe if the master lay the matter vpon the consciences of such as be of his familie then if they bee negligent God shall haue no honor worship in that familie But we reade of Abraham that wheresoeuer he became he built an altar to God Gen. 12.7.8 13.8 21.33 22.9 where God should bee worshipped ioyntly of his family If God should measure out his goodnes to thee as thou measurest honor and glorie to him in what a case wert thou Hee doth giue a charge to his Angels to keepe thee he commaÌ„deth the earth to allow thee meat for thy sustenance but his commandement is an effectuall word that maketh them to doe the thing that he chargeth them withall Wilt thou now only bid thy seruant or sonne to serue honor God and not see that he do it helpe him in it Then thou dost not measure out vnto God as thou wouldest haue him measure to thee This dutie then belongeth to a christian head of a familie to worship God with all his familie to take order that when he shal be absent vpon necessary occasion it may be done reuerently and duly by some one in his familie that by reason of wit and age may be meet for it The neglect of this dutie letteth into families many grieuous enormities and outward miseries while God in his iustice refuseth to blesse such as by their carelesnesse in seruing of him doe shew that they take not him to be the author of all welfare to soule or bodie but thinke to do wel inough without him or else thinke to haue their turnes serued without requesting The third dutie Priuate instructing which the chiefe gouernour must performe to all in his familie is priuate instruction dealing with theÌ„ in matters of religion for the building of them vp in true faith and for the inuring bringing of them to a coÌ„science towards God that they may not onely know and professe religion but also feele and shew the power of religion in their liues This dutie hath these specials belonging to it First a familiar plaine opening vnto them the principles of religion after the manner of a Catechisme This dutie the holy Ghost layeth vpon parents Ephe. 6.4 Traine them vp in doctrine and holy precepts drawne out of the word The like was commaÌ„ded to parents in the old law
Let these wordes Due 6.6 7 8 9 which I commaund thee this day be in thine heart and whet them vpon thy children and speake of them when thou sittest in thy house when thou walkest in the way whē thou lyest downe and when thou risest vp c. So that it is not enough to bring thy children to bee catechised at the Church but thou must labour with them at home after a more plaine and easier manner of instruction that so they may the better profite by the publike teaching Looke Pro. 22.6 Thou euen by breeding thy children hast helped them into corruption a damnable estate how oughtest thou then by al holy care and paines taken with them in teaching them the knowledge of God in Christ helpe them out of it that they may not be firebrands of hell And for seruants seeing they spend their strength wearie out their bodies and bestow their dayes and yeeres in seeking their profit and ease oughtest not thou then to seeke the saluatiō of their soules Salomon saith the iust man hath regarde to his beast much more shouldest thou haue regard to thy seruant who is made according to the image of God with thee is redeemed with as deere a price as thou art And thy care for him should not stretch to his body alone but especially to his soule that seeing his calling will not suffer him to vse so many so often meanes for the good of it as were requisite hee might herein be helped by thee The second speciall is an acquainting them with the Scriptures by reading them dayly in thy house Reading the scriptures in their hearing and directing them to marke and make vse of those things which are plaine and easie according to their capacitie 2. Tim. 3.15 So Timothie was trained vp by his parents in the Scriptures so hat he knew them from a child that is was made acquainted with them by reading them and being instructed in them according to his capacitie This shall make them the fitter to heare and profite by the publike ministerie Whereas the neglect of this dutie makes them vnable to heare and vnderstand the Preacher when hee citeth examples or quoteth texts out of sundry places of scripture The helpe that their familie might reape by it should make them carefull in this reading of the Scripture Thirdly in looking that they profite by the publike ministerie of the word Sacraments euery one according to their capacitie and this duty requireth that they should not only looke that they do diligently frequent the preaching of the word and carefully come to the Sacraments in due time but also that they shew thē how and put them in mind of preparing themselues to the word Sacraments as Iob did his sons Prepare them to heare the word by considering Gods ordinance his promise and their own necessity c. by laying aside al such cares thoughts and affections as might hinder them frō a diligent hearing To the Sacraments prepare them by considering of Gods institution the ministerie of his Sacraments his mercie in Iesus Christ their faith their repentance their wants and so seeking assurance of grace of reconciliation comfort to come to the Lords table Againe to further their profit they must diligently examine them what they haue learned what vse they can put such doctrine also helpe and direct them wherein they faile Thus did our Sauior Christ his disciples Mat. 16.15.16.17 Besides they must call vpon them for the practise of that which they learne out of the worde that the worde grow not to a cōmon matter of no further vse but to talke of vpon the Sabboth day The fourth special duty that belongeth to instruction is that they teach them how to make vse of Gods works either past or present as of examples of his mercie and goodnes to be encouraged by them to trust in him by workes of his iustice to be moued to feare him and so to sowe the seedes of conscience and religion in them Thus did Abraham Genes 18.19 which care of his moued the Lorde to reueale his purpose to him of destroying the Sodomites The duties which they are to require of them concerning godlinesse bee to vse the publicke Ministrie carefully to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sortes and to make their vse of it to the building vp of themselues in faith and lastly to practise all holy and christian duties which beeing comprised brieflie in the ten Commaundements are more largely layd open by the publike ministrie of the word and by priuate Catechising But after what manner must they require these duties We answere not onely by telling of them what they must do and calling vpon them for the doing of it and by gentle admonition when they bee backward but also by correcting them if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practise of them This correcting is either by Rebuking or Chastising them according to the qualitie of the fault and the condition of the partie that is so to be dealt with Leuit. 19.17 2. Tim. 4.2 A rebuke is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour or knowne wickednesse of any with condemning of the same by the word of God whereby they may haue shame that others might feare Pro. 27.5 and 29.19 Correction is a sharpe thing and therefore not easilie borne of our nature which is full of selfe-loue and through the corruption of nature it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnes sturdines and naughtines where it is not wisely dealt in Now the better to minister correction with more hope of doing good by it we must consider First the end of correcting Secondly the matters which must bee corrected Thirdly the maner of correcting 1. The ende in correcting must not bee to wrecke and reuenge thine anger or malice or to reuenge thy selfe for an iniurie done nor yet alone ly the preuenting of the like hurt by the like fault afterward but in zeale of Gods glorie who is dishonoured by the lewdnes of the offender and in loue to the partie Thou must seeke by wise correction to reclaime him from such euill as bringeth danger to him and make him more careful of his dutie afterwards Herein they faile who in correcting haue no respect but to their owne commoditie 2. For the matters that deserue correction this is a rule that there must bee no rebuking much lesse chastising but where there is a fault for where any is vniustly corrected besides the iniurie it hurteth him by hardning him against iust correction for he will thinke that it is the rash hastines of his gouernour that putteth him to smart and not his owne desert By fault I meane not onely the committing of that which was forbidden but also the omitting of that good which was commaunded But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction sometime ignorance
or mistaking ouersight and desire to please in one thing maketh inferiours to offend in others Except there bee contempt or willing negligence or retchlesse ouersight a gentle admonition may serue And indeede Superiours must take heede of comming to the greatest remedies of correctiō too soone for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing which by a wise proceeding by degrees might haue been gained Furthermore Gouernours must know yet more expresly what to correct Some neuer correct but for their owne matters neuer regarding the faults committed against God But the godly Gouernour that aimeth at Gods glorie and seeketh the Lord and not himselfe he is most grieued for disorders in his familie that tend to Gods dishonour and such he correcteth most carefully And as for defaults of his familie that are against himselfe he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them then to his owne hurt or losse in zeale of God is drawne to correct and not of selfe-loue He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction if any delight in the ignorance of God bee careles to approue himselfe as one that wholly dependeth on him loueth him feareth him reuerenceth him laboureth to approue al his waies before him If any be giuen to Idolatrie and superstition and careth not in euery part for the worship of God to follow his reuealed wil or if in the parts commanded he appeare negligent and colde or to put them to any other vse then is commanded or to be giuen to images superstitious monuments customes occasions or such like if any dishonor the name of God either in the vnreuerent vsing or abusing or peruerting and not vsing with that preparatiō before feeling at the present time and fruit after which is prescribed his titles word Sacraments workes And if any prophane his Sabboth by vaine pastimes and gaming as Cards Dice dancing c. going to playes or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed on that day out of the word If any neglect speciall duties towards their equals superiour or inferiour in yeares gifts authoritie as Magistrates Ministers Masters Parents seruants children or people If any declare not a conscience to flie euill anger malice contētion quarelling fighting or any hurting of the person of man either in soule or bodie not being carefull to succour the same according to his calling If any bee found vnchaste in bodie words countenance or gesture vntemperate in diet in apparell dissolute not caring to maintaine the contrarie holinesse in himselfe and others If any care not for the goods of another man but by falsehood flatterie and oppression diminish the same If he bee negligent in increasing of his owne by honest and lawful meanes If he mispend it in Cards Dice gaming c. If any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to vnnecessarie blasing of other mens infirmities by lying slaundering backbyting taunting If any shew himselfe carelesse to restraine the motions and entisements vnto sin and the lusts of the same then they shall vse the meanes following to redresse them The maner of correcting must likewise bee looked vnto for to faile in that maketh correction hurtfull oftentimes but alwaies vnauaileable For this point then wee must know that correction must be Ministred in Wisedome Ministred in Patience fit Ephe. 5.15.16.17 Wisedome is that by which wee obserue comelinesse in euery action that is to say by which we obserue what we doe how in what place at what time before whom that al things may be done in a conuenient place time and maner Wisedome will 1. Finde out the right partie that committed the fault that he that is innocent be not vniustly burthened 2. Consider of what sorte and nature the fault is 3. Weigh circumstances of ages discretion occasions that moued the party whether it be customarie or a slip by ouersight 4. Looke to the mind of the doer whether negligēce frowardnes or simplicitie and want of wisedom brought him to it And according to these things wisedome wil teach a man to measure out correction or to be sparing in it Besides wisedome will not correct before the fault be euident or that she be able to winde the offender out of all shifting holes For when the offender is not throughly cōuinced he shifteth off the shame of the fault and of the correction which is a part of the purgation to cure his disease and besides he will bee bold to open his mouth against his Ruler and seek to bring him into hatred or contempt with the rest of the inferiours for correcting vniustly Wisedome therefore will winke at a fault a while make as though she saw it not that she may haue a fitter oportunitie to correct yea towards some of a good nature wisedome will shew that she seeth a fault but yet for loue of the partie and desire to haue him amend of his owne accord she will passe ouer the euill Moreouer wisedome will neuer reproach the offender by reuiling or taūting him with the fault but minister correction in loue and desire to haue his sore cured and his credit salued For the casting of faults in their teeth and disgracing them especially before others which is common in the world maketh them lay off shame of offending by little and little whereas if they saw thee carefull of their credit they would haue more regard to it themselues Lastly wisedome will auoide partialitie and deale with all in the same case after the same maner Patience is also needfull that through anger or hastines a man do not fight nor chide Patience is a stedfastnesse in suffering the euils that come to vs by any worke so that they can not discourage vs. Phil. 4.5 before hee hath made the fault manifest to the offender that if it may be his conscience may be touched for it Againe by patience one must heare what the offender can say in his defence and not disdaine to heare him modestly alleadging for himselfe and when his defence is made by equity to allow or disallow the same So did Iob chap. 13. verse 13. and Balaam did not disdaine to heare the defence of his beast Numb 22.30 c. This patience also will keepe a man from bitternesse which might sooner make the partie angry then draw him to amendmēt which thing the Apostle would haue auoyded in superiours Coloss 2.21 Ephes 6.4.9 towards those that bee vnder them For want of this many are at a word and a blow many first correct and then tell the fault many lay on loade or raile and reuile braule and scolde without measure Lastly this patience will keepe thee from anger a needfull thing in a correcter for hee that commeth to reforme with anger shall hardlie keepe a measure in rebuking or chastising Now for the seuerall kinds of correction the first is Rebuking which is a sharpe reproofe for a fault committed measured according to the nature of the fault as Iacob Genesis 30.2
which pertaines to the things or this life wherein is to be considered what is the dutie of the husband and of the wife to Take order for Prouision Take order for Health They must take order for prouision Many are careful to liue but very carelesse to liue well for necessaries to the maintenance of themselues and al within their charge these necessaries are food and rayment and also for the health of such as be in their families both to preserue it by rest and recreation if neede be and to restore it if it bee hindred by good looking to such as are fallen into sicknesse Prouision That the Gouernours of the familie must make honest prouision for themselues and their charge and not liue vpon the Church almes nor by begging purloyning or borrowing and cousoning is most euident by that saying of Saint Paul to Timothie 1. Timo. 5.8 He that prouideth not for his owne and especially for them of his house hath denied the faith and is woorse then an infidell Pro. 12.10 And Salomon saith The iust man regardeth the life of his beast much more of his seruants and children And as the Spirit of God chargeth vs with this dutie so hee setteth vs about such things whereby this may bee compassed and forewarneth vs of those things whereby it may bee hindered What things be needfull for the making of prouision The things that he teacheth vs for the making of this prouision are first That euerie one should haue some honest and good calling and should walke diligently in it that it may bring in honest gaine whereby necessaries for the familie may be prepared A calling Genes 3.19 Calling is our appointed charge and manner of life in some honest worke wherein we are dayly to labour as we may best profit therein 1. Cor. 7.17.20 Ephes 4.1 1. Thess 2.12 That euery maÌ„ must apply himselfe to some studie and calling is so knowne that it needeth no proofe In the sweate of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread c. which condemneth all such as liue of the labours of other men and themselues take no paines nor trauaile doo no good in the world benefit not humaine society any way but deuoure the good creatures of the earth which indeed belong to them that take all the paines In this rancke doo a number of Gentles in the world march deuising gay toyes which might well bee spared vnprofitable burdens of the earth that fill vp number like Ciphers who glorie in their shame that is in their ease pleasures and brauerie whereof if they knew whereto a man was borne they would be ashamed These bee they for whose maintenance in their iollitie a number are faine to toile very hardly fare thinlie and spend their strength to the very skin and bones and yet can get but a slender recompence through their vnmercifull exactions but inough of them to returne The good gouernour of a house must bee none of these but hee must haue a calling that is good honest and lawfull not onely gainefull to himselfe but also holy and profitable to the societie of mankind for thus much doth S. Paul comprehend within the compasse of his words Ephe. 4.28 But let him labour the thing that is good It is not inough to haue a calling though it be neuer so good but it must be followed so as it may bring in maintenance for thee and thine such as is meete for thy owne estate 2 The manner of following a calling But how must it be followed first with diligence for as Salomon saith Pro. 18.9 Hee that carieth himselfe slouthfully or loosely in his businesse is the brother of a great waster that is he is another waster doth as much as an vnthrift or spend good To diligence belongeth the blessing Pro. 13.4 Pro. 10.4 The hand of the diligent maketh rich and Chap. 12.11 He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with meate Yea and a large blessing The soule of the diligent shall be fatted that is he shall haue aboundantly And least that any should say that in some calling Diligence is that by which we execute as wel as we can the labour of our calling 2. Thes 3.10 Rom. 12.11 a man may well thriue but not in mine It is said Pro. 14.23 In all labour that is diligent following thy calling there is abundance Moreouer this diligence will bring a man to renowme Pro. 22.29 Thou seest that a diligent man in his businesse standeth before Kings c. Of the enemies to diligence The better to kindle the affection vnto this diligence in following thy calling consider what is said by the spirit of God of those euils that are enemies vnto it Slouth Slouthfulnesse is a wearinesse or tediousnes in any godly spirituall or ciuill exercises which one ought for Gods sake to doe for the benefit of the coÌ„mon wealth or for the sustentation of themselues and their families Many a man is idle and slouthful because labour and toyle is irkesome and painful to him as Pro. 20.4 The slouthful wil not plow beâ—ause of winter but what is his reward it followeth therefore shall he beg in sommer and haue nothing Pouertie is the fruite of slouthfulnesse Pro. 10.4 A slouthfull hand maketh poore And least any man should thinke that he could keep away pouertie at least a great while it is said in Pro. 24.34 that it commeth violently and with great power and swiftly vpon such a man and hee shall not withstand it Thy poueâ—tie commeth as a light traueller and thy necessitie as an armed man In the same place also the meanes whereby it commeth is expressed Vers 30. He through folly nelected his ground and left it vnfenced and vntilled and so it yeelded him no increase which being there spoken of husbandrie may bee drawne to a generall that to let such things lie idle vnused which should bring in commoditie is the high way to pouertie The slothful is further described to be a great wisher and woulder but no great householder Sloth gluttonie and prodigalitie are the true paths that conduct and leade men to pouertie Pro 13.4 The sluggard lusteth but his soule hath nought And Prouerbs All the day long he wisheth but his desire is not accomplished which wasteth him with sorrow Besides he perswadeth himselfe that he hath some sufficient stay or let to withhold him from diligent labour and so dare not goe forward as the Wiseman saith Prouer. 15.19 Pro. 26.13.14.15.16 The way of the slothfull is a hedge of thornes And in another place he saith Pro. 22.13 A lion is in the way But in trueth it is ease and lazines that letteth him As the doore turneth vpon the hinges Pro. 26.16 so doth the slothfull in his bed And to shew that such a man is in a down hill to beggerie Salomon saith that he thinketh himselfe very wise in his doing Pro. 24.30.31.32 The sluggard is
alwaies watch to doe thee hurt Pro. 20.22.24.25 3. Sometime to seeke reuenge of a wrong breedeth greater malice in the author of the wrong and maketh him double it as a man spurreth his horse for kicking when hee was spurred Say not I will recompence euill but wait vpon the Lord and he will saue thee 4. Oft haunting of another mans house may bring thee into mislike wherefore the Wiseman saith Prou. 25.17 Withdraw thy foote from thy neighbours house least he bee wearie of thee and hate thee If by carefull auoyding of all iust occasions thou canst not auoid ill will as the world loueth none but her owne neuer seeke to win fauour by departing from dutie But commit thy selfe to God and turne thy minde to make vse of thine enemie Let enmitie which is alwaies prying and seeking occasions to hurt by word or deede make thee to walke not more closely but more vprightly and then mayst thou defie thine enemie Prou. 10.9 For he that walketh vprightly walketh boldly Another enemie to thrift which is also a breaker of peace and good will among men is much borrowing He that is to borrow doth spend much time and let slip many occasions of doing his businesse in the due season hee must repay in better measure theÌ„ he borrowed or else ill words or ill will will follow If it bee a matter of any value which is borrowed then as Salomon saith Prou. 22.7 The borrower is seruant to the lender that is beholding to him and in his danger The thriftiest men loue least to bee beholden to others and therefore seldome seek and often refuse euen when they bee offered to receiue benefits at other mens hands He that goeth a borrowing goeth a sorrowing And euery deniall he receiueth where he thinketh he should speed is the seede of grudge in the mind of the denier and of him who is denied But of all borrowing to borrow vpon vsurie is the deerest buying and the rankest poyson to thrift When Dauid would wish a sore plague to his enemie he prayeth that he may be giuen into the vsurers hands Let the vsurer eate him vp If the vsurer be a deuourer woe be to them that come in his hands To auoide borrowing a good husband must cut off all vnnecessarie expences that hee may haue all necessaries in his house To auoide borrowing of money take heede of suertiship of dealing in bargaines which you are not fully able to compasse of dealing in many things and hauing too many yrons in the fire at once Looke how you can compasse matters before you enterprise them Prouide long before against any day of payment and haue not monie to seeke vpon the suddâ—n for that driues a man to borrowing yea to vsurie or to Robin Hoods penyworths Besides he must keepe none in his house idle or halfe set to worke none more then needes must Let euery one haue his charge that will throughly occupie him also looke that they doe their tasks euery one in his place and haue an often eie vnto them whether they haue done as they should doe The masters eye maketh a fat horse so also the mistris eye makes a friendly dairie Except you haue rare seruants and such as truly feare God and haue good consciences trust them not further then you see them except necessitie driue you Hitherto of the duties that be belonging to the chiefe ruler of the familie that is the husband The wiues dutie touching the things of this life touching honest prouision for it Now seeing that God hath ioyned the wife to her husband as an helper she must helpe him in the prouision for her familie so much as lieth in her power and is meete for her to doe And indeed her industrie and wisedome may doe so much herein that though her husband should bee much wanting in his dutie yet shee might holde in the goale Thus many haue done and so Salomon saith the wise woman will do A wise woman buildeth her house But it is not euery womans case Prou. 14.1 because that all are not wise as she that Salomon speaketh of This wise woman is elsewhere called a gracious woman Prouerbs 11.16 And a vertuous wâ—man Prou. 12.4 because many graces and vertues meete together in her For she is to her Husband dutifull Dutifulnesse or dutifull wil is that which doth shine in the declaration and performance of duties faithfull and louing Those of her familie wise and prudent In her busines diligent and painfull To her neighbours modest humble kinde and quiet First if she be not subiect to her husband to let him rule all househoâ—d especially outward affaires if she will make head against him and seeke to haue her owne waies there will bâ— doing and vndoing Things will goe backward the house will come to ruine for God wil not blesse where his ordinance is not obeyed This is allowable that she may in modest sort shew her minde and a wise husband will not disdaine to heare her aduise and follow it also if it bee good But when her way is not liked of though it bee the best way she may not therevpon set all at sixe and seuen with what should I labour and trauaile I see my husband taketh such waies that hee will bring all to nothing This were nothing els but when she seeeth the house falling to helpe to pull it downe faster Salomon saith The wise woman buildeth her house much more then doth she vnderprop it and holde it vp that by her husbands vndiscreet dealing it be not pulled downe She must not thinke her selfe freed from dutie because he walketh not in his dutie but holde her place and labour for her part to vpholde all and so God will either blesse the worke of her hands to the maintenance of the house or giue her husband more wisedome and care or else giue her a contented minde with a low estate which is great riches One point of subiection is to be content with such apparell and outward port as her husbands estate can allow her They faile in this who by importunitie and disquietnesse wring from their husbands more then hee can well cut out of his reuenues or gettings It is a part of vnfaithfulnesse 2. Faithfull secretly to purloyne and powle from him for to pranke vp her children or her selfe her house and chambers in brauerie and besides it is a close vndermining of her house Loue and peaceablenesse in the wife towards the husband 3. Louing Loue is a naturall affection of the minde inflaming all the powers of the Louer with willing dutie towards the beloued is auaileable for the weale of the familie for where they agree louingly there they counting the good of the one the benefit of the other doe ioyntly watch against all such things in their familie as might endammage it There the seruants knowing that in pleasing one they shall please both and contrariwise be carefull in all things to
deale well whereas diuision in the gouernours maketh partaking in the seruants and then they care not for pleasing but onely that side which they affect And such kinde of seruice is but smally beneficiall to thriuing It can hardly be auoyned but there will bee some squaring and dibersitie betweene the man and his wife but they must labour to compose such matters priuately and quickly that they grow not to breaches for they bee dangerous to thrift Let there be therfore reasonings secretly betweene themselues of such matters as might breede a skarre but let them bee soone ended after the occasion is offered before the mindes be much exasperated Let there bee no hard words of either side nor opening of olde matters Let it bee done priuately betweene themselues and not before children or seruants for they will not sticke to carie tales to please the humours of the partie to whom they are most affected Besides they will spie your infirmities and grow to a lesse regarde of you and they will blaze abroad such matters to your discredit A good huswife is a great patrimonie â— she is most honourable that is most honest and godly A good sauer is as good as a good getter Now for her behauiour towards her seruants and children if it bee prudent and with wisedome it doth much good in a house but it containeth many points That which her care for the most part tendeth vnto is sauing She that will be a good sauer must not be a slender huswife but skilfull in all points whereof she shall haue vse in her familie She must not let her maides haue their owne waies for want of skâ—ll but she must bee able to direct and prescribe what and how in euery busines Where she hath little skill by reason of her education she must bee carefull by conferring and marking to learne skil against she is to deale in such things that she may bee able to direct her seruants and to finde them out when they haue done amisse As a word spoken in his place is like apples of gold with pictures oâ— siâ—uer Prou. 15.11 euen so is a businesse or worke done in a fit and due time She must haue a good forecast to contriue and dispatch things in due time and good order that necessaries bee not wanting when they should be vsed and confusion doe not make more labour then is needfull She must bee wise to marke the nâ—ture of her seruants and children to deale with them as their natures require for the training of them to her hand All must not bee dealt withall one way and yet many haue no way but one to deale withall and that is chiding and brauling and that they fall out vpon euery occasion which wearieth seruants and maketh often chaunges discourageth children and maketh both careles whether they doe their duties or noâ— yea it breedeth stubbornnes frowardnes and contempt in their mindes She must bee wise to marke and see what needles burthens vnnecessarie expences and losses there doe vpon occasions fall out within doores and preuent such occasions afterwards Shee must know the best waies of doing things to greatest vse with least charges Briefly she must know which way to saue a peny and lay about her to saue it for many a litle maketh a great deale She must know what is meete for seruants what for workemen and what not what is meete for ordinary and what is meete for strangers Aboue all she must know how to keepe within her compasse and yet to auoide the reproach of a pincher she must know what seruants may doe within the compasse of so much time and what is aboue their strength She must haue a diligent eye to the behauiour of her seruants what meetings and greetings what tickings and toyings and what words and countenances there be betweene men and maides least such matters being neglected there follow wantonnesse yea follie within their houses which is a great blemish to the Gouernours Painfulnes is a labour or indeuour vnto wearines to bring any thing to passe In her businesse she must be diligent and painefull Hitherto belongeth that Pro. 31.15 She riseth before day and verse 18. Her candle is not put out by night She borroweth of the morning and the euening for to dispatch her businesse When she is vp doth she sit downe and cap a stoole No shee looketh that her seruants haue their necessaries that they may goe soone to their worke she setteth her maides to worke and tasketh them to keepe them occupied yea she suffereth none to be idle in her house but either doing somewhat that is profitable or else learning somewhat that is meete for them She must not thinke to sit and commande but she must be a stirrer in euery place to oâ—ersee whether dutie bee done of all hands and that in good sort yea and to quicken the dâ—â—igence of her familie and that things may be well done shee must be at an end of euery great worke sometimes setting to her hands to encourage the doer sometimes gently teaching sometimes commending sometimes speaking faire but neuer brawling sometimes shewing what is a misse in gentle language letting them see what losse commeth by ill dooing of a thing Sometimes friendly putting them in mind how by slouth forgetfulnesse or sluttishnesse they shall get an ill name for their seruice and so become turne-awaies from euery good house She must lay a diligent eye to her household-stuffe in euery Roome that nothing be embezeled away nothing spoyled or lost for want of looking to nothing mard by ill vsage nor nothing worne out by more vsing then is needefull nothing out of place for things cast aside are deemed to be stolen and then there followeth vncharitable suspitions which breedeth much disquietnesse And though nice Dames thinke it an vnseemely thing for them to soyle their hands about any householde matters and therefore if they doe any thing it is but pricking of a clout yet the vertuous woman as Prou. 31.17 Girdeth her loynes with strength and strengthneth her armes that is she setteth her selfe painefully about some worke that is profitable for she selleth it afterward verse 24. Yea the particular worke is described Shee seekâ—th wooll and flaxe c. shee putteth her hand to the wherue and her hands handle the spindle she maketh Carpets The meaning is that she getteth some matter to worke on that shee may exercise her selfe and her familie in and it is not some idle toy to make the world gay withall but some matter of good vse Her familie is cloathed with double and her Husband is knowne in the gate hee is so comely and trimlie apparelled by her diligence at home that hee is in regarde among men and knowne where he goeth Obiection But what neede such as can liue by their lands to labour with their hands What neede had the woman that Salomon speaketh of Answer The conscience of doing good in the world should draw them to doe
thrice on three seueral daies to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might bee remedied then after mariage accomplished when it is remedilesse Thirdly it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastitie seeing by this meanes not onely former promises and contracts but also fornications if any haue been and adulteries may bee descried and discerned For after Ioseph was contracted before they were married she was found to be with childe though without ill demeanour on her part yet it made Joseph so afraid that he had intended in his heart priuatly to relinquish and forsake her and had so done indeede vnlesse Gods Angell had commanded the contrarie Neuerthelesse it was the Contract that discouered this trueth so preserued Maries virginity that the scripture might bee fulfilled which saith A virgin shall conceiue c. If this were not men might vpon knowledge or ignorāce make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues either betrothed or married and so lose their honestie and chastitie to their great infamie hinderance Last of all it serueth to condemne and auoide all priuate contracts and secret mariages and contrarily to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of mariage aswell in the beginning as in the end thereof that all things touching the same might bee begunne continued and finished in the Lord according to his commandement that his promised blessings might ensue vpon it accordingly This being done the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answere at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to bee made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demaunded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to bee required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like I. N. doe willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meet till which time I take thee for my only betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to bee done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of the parents kinsfolkes and friends After this the parents are to bee admonished to set and appoint the day of mariage neither too neere nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may bee sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised mariage might bee hindered and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinencie In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of mariage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed doe come And so with a Psalme and prayer to conclude the holy action 1. Because there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to housekeeping betweene that time and the celebrating of mariages but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts and men and betwixt the prophane and his children For they euen as beasts doe after a beast-like maner being led by a naturall instinct and motion fall together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should bee seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of mariage for many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinke of the troubles and afflictions that follow mariage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of mariage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull householder so ordereth and frameth his household so as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeede the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is as a pastour ouer his familie that hee instructeth it diligently in the feare of GOD and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise in godlines So that in his house you shall finde the chaste wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor masked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her familie seruants her children the master father and husband the children and seruants euerie one likewise in his degree imploying himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approouing his dooings as before God Froward wicked qualities of the minde 1. Cor. 5.10.11 and 6.9 Now like as in the minde there are such vertues as wee haue before spoken of so are there in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeleefe idolatrie superstition ignorance Gal. 5.19 20 21. 1. Tim. 3.2 3 4 5. churlishnesse lying falsehood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbyting mistemperance drunkennes gluttonie couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshamefastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vaine-glorie chiding brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or shee a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices hee seeketh not a spouse or shee a husband for a right peaceable good honest and christian life but an hell a painfulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to bee hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of GOD draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods worde bring all vice and abominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are dulie and warilie obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This commeth of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these martiall carnall and clowdie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to their bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse doe flie from them 2. The riches of the bodie 2. After the riches of the minde doe the riches of the bodie follow next as is a comelie beautifull or well fauoured bodie health a conuenient age Beautie c. A beautifull bodie is such
the husband shall haue power to his wife to feare and obey him yet hee shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him Some husbands doe boast themselues to be serued feared and obeyed in their houses because the wife that abhorreth doth feare and serue her husband but she that indeede liketh doth loue him and cherish him As the wife ought with great care to endeuour by all good meanes to labour to bee in fauour and grace with her husband so likewise the husbanâ— ought to feare to bee in disgrace and disliking with his wife for if she doe once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another then many inconueniences will ensue and follow The husband ought not to bee satisfied that he hath robd his wife of her virginitie but in that he hath possession and vse of her will for it sufficeth not that they be married but that they be well maâ—ried and liue christianly together and very well contented And therfore the husband that is not beloued of his wife holdeth his goods in danger his house in suspition his credit in ballance and also sometime his life in perill because it is easie to beleeue that she desireth not long life vnto her husband with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome And if any vnkindnes or displeasure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and his wife yet neither of them ought to impart or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neighbours for if they bee such as wish them euill they will reioyce at it and if they bee such as wish them well then they minister matter whereof to talke That husband that is matched and doth encounter with a wife that is a dizard a foole That man is miserable that is married vnto a foolish woman a babler light of behauiour a glutton a chider slothfull a gadder abroad vntractable iealous or dissolute c. it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man then a husband to such a wife The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife to guard and gouerne her is to admonish her often and to giue her good instructions to reprehend her seldome neuer to lay violent hands on her but if she be good and dutifull to fauour her to the end she may continue so and if she be shrewish and wayward mildly to suffer her to the ende that shee waxe not worse But some husbands bee of so sowre a nature and so vnpleasant in their behauiour that they can hardly bee loued no not of their wiues their countenance is so lowring their companie so currish that they seeme angrie euen when they bee best pleased they can not speake faire scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them a man would say they were borne in an angrie houre Husbands must prouide things necessarie for the house A mans house will continue by prouision before hand and by order in his expences Rom. 12.17 1. Tim. 5.8 But where disorder is in a house it cannot endure This is also a dutie not to bee forgotten namely that husbands be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses to clothe their wiues decently to bring vp their children vertuously and to pay their seruants dulie because that in voluntarie matters men may bee negligent but the necessities of their house doe neither suffer negligence or forgetfulnes The dutie of the husband is to get goods and of the wife to gather them together and saue them The dutie of the husband is to trauell abroad to seeke liuing and the wiues dutie is to keep the house The dutie of the husband is to get monie and prouision and of the wiues not vainly to spend it The dutie of the husband is to deale with many men and of the wiues to talk with few The dutie of the husband is to be entermedling and of the wife to be solitarie and withdrawne The dutie of the man is to bee skilfull in talke and of the wife to boast of silence The dutie of the husband is to be a giuer Spare in time and spend in time for sparing is a rich purse and of the wife to bee a sauer The dutie of the man is to apparell himselfe as he may and of the woman as it becommeth her The dutie of the husband is to be lord of all and of the wife to giue account of all The dutie of the husband is to dispatch all things without doore and of the wife to ouersee and giue order for all things within the house Now where the husband and wife performeth these duties in their house we may call it a Colledge of quietnes the house wherein these are neglected wee may terme it a hell It is to bee noted and noted againe that as the prouision of household dependeth onelie on the husband The honor of the Husband dependeth of the Wife euen so the honour of all dependeth onely of the woman in such sort that there is no honour within the house longer then a mans wife is honourable And therefore the Apostle calleth the woman 1. Cor. 11.7 The glorie of the man But here it must be noted and â—emembred that wee doe not intitle honourable to such as bee onely beautifull comely of face of gentilitie of comely personage and a good huswife but onely of her that is vertuous honest of life temperate and aduised in her speech 3. The last poynt is that the husband loue The third poynt cherish and nourish his wife euen as his owne bodie and as Christ loued his Church and gaue himselfe for to sanctifie it And this point is plainly proued by the Apostle Paul as is sufficiently declared in the second point There are few husbands or wiues that know in truth how they should loue one the other If a man loue his wife onely for these respects because she is rich beautifull noble or because she contenteth and pleaseth him after the sensuall appetite of the flesh and for such like causes that is no true loue before God for such loue may be among harlots and whores yea among brute beasts Cant. 4 9.10 1. Cor. 9.5 1. Pet. 3.7 But a christian husband must loue his wife chiefly because she is his sister in the profession of the sound and christian religion and so an inheritour with him of the kingdome of heauen And he must also loue her for her vertues as for her shamefastnesse modestie chastitie diligence patience faithfulnes temperance secrecie obedience such like christian qualities and graces of God yea although she be but hard fauored and of poorâ— parentage But as wee would that the man when he loueth should remeÌ„ber his maiestie so we would that when he ruleth he forget not his loue nor to temper it with maiestie And when he doth thinke himselfe to bee the head and the soule and the woman as it were the flesh and the bodie
angrie one with the other but to set aside all hastie and â—â—â—ell words and correction with all other thinges that issue and proceed of a disdainfull and a furious mind And the seruants are not onely merrie therefore but also they doo their seruice the more obediently and cheerefully shewing reuerence vnto the maiestie that proceedeth and increaseth of quietnesse and concord For the husband doth defend his wiues maiestie with loue and beneuolence and the wife her husbands with honour and obedience So that vnitie and concord causeth them to be esteemed wise honest and vertuous and they must needs bee good seeing they haue loued so long togither But there can bee no long amitie or friendship but betweene those that are good the which doo suffer and deuoure vp those things for the which other men leaue and forsake amitie and breake off charitie Neither doth there growe of any other thing so great reuerence and maiestie as of the opinion and estimation of another mans goodnesse and wisedome the which reuerence is not onely honoured within the doores but also shineth and extendeth it selfe into the cittie so that he is taken for an honest man and accounted to be louing and gentle seeing that hee loueth his wife so constantly and also he is reputed for a wise man considering that he can so moderately handle so difficult and hard matters and he is reckoned worthie to rule a common wealth that with such wisedome discretion and iudgâ—ment doth rule and gouerne his owne house and that he may easilie conserue and keepe his Citizens in peace and concord that hath so wel established the same in his owne house and familie And on the other side none will thinke or beleeue that he is able to be ruler or to keep peace and quietnesse in the towne or Cittie who cannot liue peaceably in his owne house where hee is not onely a ruler but a King and Lord of all And in matrimoniall debate and discord the man is more to bee blamed then is the woman because that hee being the chiefe Ruler and head doth not purge and remedie her of that vice the which ingendred that discord or else patiently beare suffer the same for the blame of al discord is commonly laid on him that is chiefe because he would not moderate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife â—nd discord or else because he was not able to do it In the first there appeareth manifest maâ—ice in the second impatience weaknesse the which ought to be far froÌ„ him that is esteemed â—o be most worthy appointed to rule gouerne others And thus he coÌ„meth into hatred â—or as much as he hath left off to do his duty and â—ffice wheÌ„ necessitie required it That husband â—hat loueth not his wife after that he hath enioiâ—d her for a season but doth wax feeble cold which is a thing most meet and conuenient for â—hose that are kindled with bodily lust lecheâ—ie who are very beasts and no men hauing no â—easoÌ„ but are drawn to those deeds through the â—otion of their sences the which after the heat â—e a little past will clean change their opinion Also there are other occasions The causes why the husband should loue his wife that should mooue the husband to extend this loue to his wife in case he be not duller then a stone As for â—â—at his wife hath suffered so great trauel and laâ—our that she hath borne and brought him forth children the heires of his name and substance and the vpholders of his familie and that shee hath forsaken her fathers goods and riches to follow him and to suffer with him both good and euill and that she setting her whole mind now vpon him knoweth no other father nor yet any of all her kinne What one thing shall suffice if these and others cannot do it who so will then obey nature humanitie and wisedome shall euery day loue his wife more and more And the better he knoweth her the more he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought thus to loue his wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes The husband must loue his wiues kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly theâ— cousin doth aide and helpe them and that shee in like maner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her frends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsmen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any and thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties themselues which are ro bee performed of the husband and wife are eyther pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues for pietie and godlinesse 1. The first common dutie is praier that they pray together by theÌ„selues for as they are to pray with others in their families for thinges which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posteritie and that in the birth the children be comely and not monstrous in comming foorth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well carriage and good behauour as likewise for their household and for diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike families As Isaack and Rebecca besides the praiers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams familie did also pray together priuately as in Genes 25.21 it is saide Isaack praied before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another as the husband is to admonish the wife so also to teach her and the wife to admonish the husband and in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the Maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5.13.14 heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Jorden according to the saying of the Prophet So in like maner the husbands dutie is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet
so as when he faileth in dutie he is to heare her good counsell and admonition either concerning heauenly matters or earthlie affaires shee notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnder him and in humilitie confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell 1. Pet. 3.7 Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues are first the holy familiaritie which ought to be betwixt man wife wherby they haue a more familiar vsage one of another and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another then any other parties whatsoeuer Genes 26.8.9 in regard whereof Abimelech King of Gerar after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife shee is my Sister seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly knowing that familiaritie which ought to bee betweene the husband and the wife and knowing that Isaake was a godly religious man and therefore would not vse that kinde of behauiour to any other woman saue to his wife discerned thereby and concluded certainly that shee was his wife howsoeuer hee hath denied it before Noting that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man saue her husband and contrary the husband ought not vse this familiaritie with any other woman which he doth with his wife And therfore Pro. 5.19 we see that the wife should be to him as the louing Hind namely delightful and one in whom he may delight that as the Hart delighteth in the Hind so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him 2. Againe there is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues to witte that neare coniunction euen in regard of their bodies for an holy procreation of children in respect whereof the Apostle saith 1. Cor. 7.4 the husband hath not power ouer his owne body but the wife c. Onely when it is with the wife as is common to women Ezech. 18.6 or that shee bee sicke of her disease hee is not then to haue the vse of her body c. Such as doo aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimonie Duties common both to the husband and the wife are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God And hauing attained to that estate ought to vse the benefit of marriage as an holy ordinance of God in all godlinesse and puritie 1. Cor. 7.2 for a remedy against the weaknesse of the flesh and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie True it is that honestie of marriage grounded vpō Gods ordinance doth couer the shame of incontinencie yet not so as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate by admitting all things but that they should so vse it as there might be no excesse in dissolution neyther any intemperancie contrary to the holinesse thereof so that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse is fornication Genes 1.18 When God created the woman he said It is not good that man should bee alone I will make him a helpe meet for him But whatsoeuer is said of the woman that she should be a helpe to the man must also be put in practise and excercised by the husband toward his wife according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul 1. Cor. 7 all whether in auoyding fornication whether in procuring generation and the education and bringing vp of children whether in maintayning a familie or for the seruice of God and saluation of soules Heereby it euidently appeareth that the dutie common both to the husband and wife importeth that the one should ayde and helpe the other First that they may leade their liues in chastitie and holinesse Next to auoide fornication So that the dutie of the husband and the wife consisteth in this that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond and infringing and violating the faith of marriage by fornication or adulterie which is a detestable sinne in the sight both of GOD and man If such as wanting the remedie of marriage by committing fornication doo incurre an offence worthie euerlasting damnation What may those deserue who hauing a remedie for their infirmitie doo neuerthelesse ouerflow in adultrie yet is it not ynough onely to abstaine from this abhomination vnlesse wee also forbeare from euerie thing that may seeme to tend thereunto or to containe any beginning apparance allurement or occasion of euill First because that by the law all this is forbidden euen in these expresse wordes Exod. 20.14 Thou shalt not commit adultrie For the word adultrie comprehendeth al prouocations gestures speeches yea euen vnchast lookes And therefore sayth Iesus Christ Math. 5.18 He that looketh vpon another mans wife to lust after her hath alreadie committed adultrie with her in his heart Next that we may preuent all occasions of ielousie a most daūgerous disease of great difficulty to cure For where either the husband or the wife is tainted with ielousie they beleeue euery word that they heare spoken touching their passion albeit it beare no apparance of trueth And therefore christian husbands and wiues must so beare themselues that they incurre no suspition of euill But rather they ought to practise this as well to auoide occasion of offence as for feare least iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate The care and burthen to maintaine their familie is common to them both yet so as properly the husband is to get it and to bring it in and the wife to order and dispose it Howbeit the dutie of the wife or of the husband doth not so exempt either of them but that she also according to her ability and power must helpe her husband to get it and hee likewise in his discretion direct her in the dispensation thereof Exod. 20.14 Hee that doth not orderly gouern his house shall inherit the winde saith Solomon And order consisteth in this that the husband follow his businesse trafique or calling without any molestation of the wife who ought not to meddle or controle him therein but with great discretion and gentelnesse as also the husband is not to deale but soberly and in great discretion with affaires that are proper to the wife The man is iealous of his authoritie and reputation and the woman inclined to suspect her selfe to be despised Wherefore as the husband cannot well abide that his wife shoud shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then himselfe so cannot the wife suffer that her husband should despise and account her a foole by medling with her small household affaires As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid to the end their mariage may be quiet and themselues liue together in loue euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband and a prodigall and slothfull wife are two ready waies to destruction The husband that hath such a wife casteth his
and loue between the head and the body neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife infringe the loue that proceedeth of the vnion and coniunction of marriage If the husband bee giuen to brawling or the wife to chiding let them both beware of giuing any occasion The bell hath a loude sound and therfore he that will not heare it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it so if the one will begin to chide without a cause let the other be either deafe and so not heare it or dumbe and so make no answere So that where the husband is deafe and the wife blinde marriage is quiet and free from dissention Whereby is meant that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband as if she saw them not and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife as if he heard them not Neither can it be any reproch to the husband and wife so stedfastly vnited to practise this dutie considering that Dauid protesteth that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies They that seeke after my life lay snares and they that goe about to doe me euill Psal 38.12 talke wicked things and imagine deceit continually But I as a deafe man heard not and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth Thus I am as a man that heareth not and â—n whose mouth are no reproofes This vnion betweene man and wife doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth saying Matth. 19.5 Ephes 5.31 For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother and cleaue to his wife As also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like dutie toward her husband Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parentes but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife is greater then betweene the children and the parentes And indeede the true loue of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband surmounteth all loue of children to their parents The husband and the wife haue their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commoditie The wife is more obedient to her husband and the husband more desirous to please his wife then their parents yea and at length it falleth out that they depart from their parentes to keepe house by themselues And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachell being sisters Gen. 26. and the wiues of Iacob For Iacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban boldly made his moane to them Whereupon they also complaining of their father agreed with Iacob and consented togither to leaue their father and to follow their husband Iacob Herein likewise consisteth an other dutie of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband namely that they shew no greater secrecie or communication of their household affaires to their parents then mutually each to other and this rule is especially to be put in practise when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues For if the husband shal complaine to his parents of his wife or the wife of her husband such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife But if it should grow to any complaint it were requisite so discreetly to prosecute the matter as that the wife should come to her husbands parents the husband to the wifes parents So should all cause of iealousie cease and the complaint procure most assured remedie This loue and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie common both to the husband and the wife And that is that they neuer seeke neyther once thinke of diuorce And to that ende let them remember what is written Mat. 19.6 That which God hath ioyned togither let no man put asunder Likewise that nothing but Adulterie may separate those that are vnited by marriage All other agreements and contracts made by mutuall consent may be broken and dissolued by the like consent of both parties but in the contract of marriage Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse yea he receiueth the promise of both parties as ioyning them in that estate And this doth Salomon note Pro. 2.17 where hee obiecteth to the Harlot that shee hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God But Malachie speaketh more plainly and giueth a reason why God punished such husbands as leauing their lawfull wiues tooke others Mala. 2.14 Because saith he the Lord hath beene witnesse betweene thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast transgressed yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy couenant The promise therefore to God cannot be broken but onely by his authoritie In the dayes of Moses husbands were easily and soone intreated to forsake their wiues by giuing them a Bill of diuorce yet so far was this course from being lawfull that contrariwise Mat. 19.8 Iesus Christ saith that it was tolerated onely in respect of the hardnesse of husbands hearts who otherwise would haue vexed their wiues and intreated them cruelly And this libell containing the cause of diuorce and putting away of the woman did iustifie her and condemne the man For seeing it was neuer giuen in case of adulterie Leuit. 20.10 Iohn 8.5 which was punished with death all other causes alledged in the libell tended to iustifie the woman and declare that she was wrongfully diuorced and so condemned the husband as one that contraried the first institution of Marriage whereto Iesus Christ condemning this corruption doth returne them saying Jt was not so from the beginning and therefore whosoeuer shall put away his wife Mat. 19.8 except it bee for whoredome and marrieth another committeth adulterie and whosoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced doth commit adulterie with her So straight is the bond of marriage Hereof it followeth that notwithstanding whatsoeuer difficulties that may arise between the husband and the wife whether it be long tedious and incurable sicknesse of either partie whether naturall and contrary humours that breede debate wrangling or strife about household affaires whether it bee any vice as the husband to bee a drunkard or the wife a slouthfull idle or vnthriftie huswife whether either partie forsake the trueth and profession of religion doe fall to idolatrie or heresie Yet still the bond of marriage remaineth stedfast and not to be dissolued Neither may they bee separated euen by their owne mutual consent For as the holy Ghost hath pronounced Mat. 19.6 That which God hath ioyned togither let no man put asunder And therefore S. Paul saith 1. Cor. 7.12 If any brother hath a wife that beleeueth not if she be content to dwell with him let him not forsake here the woman which hath a husband that beleeueth not if he can be content to dwell with her let her not forsake him Also because some did suppose that the vnbeleefe in any of the parties might breede some pollution
or disquiet in marriage he answereth no his reason is For the vnbeleeuing husband is sanctified by his beleeuing wife and the vnbeleeuing wife by her beleeuing husband And this he proueth by affirming that the children issuing of such a marriage be holy that is to say partakers of the couenant of God and consequently accepted into the fellowship of the Church Onely he addeth this exception Jf the vnbeleeuing man depart and forsake the beleeuing wife shee is not subiect to follow him And yet must this be vnderstood where such departure ariseth eyther vpon hatred that he beareth to the true religion that his wife professeth or vpon a desire to vse his polluted and false religion For herein cannot his wife follow him without danger of defil◠〈◊〉 â—riuing of her selfe of the profession of the 〈◊〉 â—ogither with the food of her soule Liâ—â—â—â—se where Saint Paul speaking of the husbâ—â—d and wife 1. Cor. 7.11 both beleeuers saith If the woman depart from her husband let her remaine vnmarried or bee reconciled to her husband He therein meaneth not that it shall be lawfull for the woman because shee cannot beare the troublesome nature of her husband or to auoide strife and debate to depart and liue as a widdowe but onely he sheweth that when the husband vpon such like occasion shall put away or cast off his wife yet is not she at her libertie to marrie another but must remaine vnmarried and labour to be reconciled And therefore are those women which vpon the hard dealing or troublesome dispositions of their husbands do forsake them greatly to be reproued as thereby giuing occasion of great mischiefe and trouble as also are those husbands who vpon like occasion doe forsake their wiues For seeing nothing may make diuorce but Adulterie euery purpose and determination to part vpon any other occasion or reason is restrained by Gods ordinance the law of marriage And for as much as it is not lawfull for vs to continue in such separation the whole course of our liues neither is it lawfull so to abide at all eyther so much as to enter thereinto If therefore vpon such occasion the husband forsake his wife or the wife her husband rather then to continue the mischiefe begunne let them returne togither againe and thinke that the shortest follies doe least hurt Obiection If they alledge their intreatie in their opinion intolerable and their nature so contrary that they cannot liue without strife and debate Also that beeing asunder and quiet in conscience free from trouble they may the better applie themselues and imploy their time in praier Answere The answere is that such infirmities must not dissolue or breake the bond of marriage and their duties to liue togither but let them thinke that God hath called them to the exercise of patience which vpon heartie prayer be graunted to them Let them labour each to beare with other that they may liue in peace and continually pray to GOD to giue them grace so to doe Let them remember that the diuell transformeth himselfe into an Angell of light when by propounding a dutie to liue in quiet and consequently a meane to pray vnto God for the compassing thereof hee induceth them to gaine-say Gods prohibition and also to seperate that which God hath ioyned togither For as the coniunction commeth of God so the separation and diuorce proceedeth from the diuell If they reply that by liuing asunder so that they marrie not againe they breake not the bond of marriage let them remember that marriage being ordained for a remedie against fornication for the generation ad bringing vp of children and also for a helpe each to other in mutuall societie and inseparable conuersation of life yet doth there appeare no token or effect of marriage in those that liue asunder albeit they marrie not againe So that the benefite of marriage consisteth not only in the procreation of children but also in the natural societie of the two diuers sexes Otherwise it could not be said that there were any marriage betweene two old folkes This vnion of marriage yet teacheth vs another duetie common both to the man and to the wife Which is that their goods bee common betweene them That a common wealth may in some sort bee said to bee happie where they haue no vse of these words Mine and thine But in marriage especially they ought not to be heard If the wife haue brought most goods in marriage the marriage once consummate and made her part is gone and they are gone and they are made common as also are the debts whether hers or her husbands And therefore can neither of them say This is mine but this is ours When a woman hath brought great goods yet may shee not say I will doe with mine owne what I list for she her selfe is not her owne but her husbandes The husband as the head and chiefe guide of the familie must haue the custodie chiefe gouernement of the goods in the house yet may he discharge himselfe of the whole or of part as himselfe shall thinke meet and conuenient yet let him remember that hee intreat her not as a seruant by giuing her money as it were in mistrust or with condition to returne him a particular account For the husbandes mistrust doth many times prouoke the woman and the wiues vaine expence breedeth mistrust in the husband but the faithfull and discreet employment and good vsage of the wife and her husbands confidence in her will procure that as the goods be common to both so each alike shall vndertake the custodie and employment of the same Hereunto for a conclusion of this point we will yet adde two dueties common both to the husband and the wife The first that they dayly pray to God to giue them grace to liue togither in peace and loue and that each may be a helpe to others saluation Let all such as desire to enioy such a felicitie vnderstand that they must dayly pray to God for the obtaining thereof And let those that liue in strife and debate examine themselues whether they haue no cause to impute their miserable estate to their neglect of this dutie The second consisteth in the practise of the same which Saint Paul teacheth saying Let those that be married 1. Cor. 7.29 be as if they were not married But how By so enioying the commoditie and contentation of marriage that the benefite of their coniunction breed no diuorce betweene God and them likewise that thereby they bee not hindered or made slacke in any dutie toward God and their neighbours as also that no affliction depending or proceeding of marriage withdraw them or force them to resolue of any thing coÌ„trary to the vnion of marriage their christian profession that they bee the children of God The particular dueties of the husband toward the wife are first to protect her to haue regard and care ouer her c. Ruth 3.9 Secondly that hee vnfainedly loue
and complaine that they can finde no loue in their wiues whose loue and amitie through their own crueltie and hard dealing they haue turned into hatred And whereas at the beginning they glorying and cracking thus cruelly to bee their wiues masters they haue now purchased vnto themselues a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come seeing now that all loue and pleasure is cast aside and compassed with feare and suspition hatred and sorrow Surely if a husband as nature reason and the holie Scripture doe witnesse bee the head ouer his wife and God their father there ought to bee betweene them such societie and fellowship yea and greater then is betweene the father and his sonne and not such as is betweene the master and the seruant And amongst many reasons that may bee vsed to perswade the husband and wife to liue together louingly quietly and christianly this is not the least namely that for as much as neither of them is certaine how long they shall liue together and then the partie that ouerliueth purposing to marrie againe and hauing been churlish froward c. with his former wife or she with her first husband which their so hard dealing one with the other before being knowne will no doubt be an occasion that they shall not speed match so well as otherwise they might if they had behaued themselues peaceably and dutifully in their first mariage What the dutie of a wife is towards her husband THis dutie is comprehended in these three points First that shee reuerence her husband Secondly that she submit her selfe and bee obedient vnto him And lastly that she doo not weare gorgeous apparell beyond her degree and place but her attire must bee comely and sober according to her calling The first point is prooued by the Apostles Peter and Paule 1. Pet. 3.1 Ephes 5.22 Col. 3.18 1. Cor. 7.3 whereby they set forth the wiues duties to their husbands commanding them to bee obedient vnto them although they be prophane and irreligious and that they ought to doe so much the more that by their honest life and conuersation they might win them to the obedience of the Lord. Now for so much as the Apostle would haue Christian wiues that are matched with vngodly husbands and such as are not yet good Christians to reuerence and obey them much more they should shew themselues thankful to God and willingly and dutifully performe this obedience and subiection when they are coupled in mariage with godlie wise discreete learned gentle louing quiet patient honest and thriftie husbands Wiues must be seruiceable and obedient vnto their husbands stand in a reuerend awe of them Ephes 5.33 And therefore they ought euermore to reuerence them and to endeuour with true obedience and loue to serue them to be loth in any wise to offend them yea rather to bee carefull and diligent to please them that their soule may blesse them And if at any time it shall happen that the wife shall anger or displease her husband by doing or speaking any thing that shall grieue him she ought neuer to rest vntill she hath pacified him and gotten his fauour againe And if he shal chance to blame her without a cause for that which she could not helpe or remedie which thing sometimes happeneth euen of the best men yet she must beare it patiently and giue him no vncomely or vnkinde words for it but euermore look vpon him with a louing and cheerfull countenance and so rather let her take the fault vpon her Chearefull in countenance then seeme to be displeased Let her be alway merie and cheerfull in his companie but yet not with too much lightnesse She must beware in any wise of swelling powting lowring or frowning for that is a token of a cruell and vnlouing heart except it bee in respect of sinne or in time of sicknesse She may not bee sorrowfull for any aduersitie that God sendeth but alwaies to be careful that nothing be spilt or go to waste through her negligence In any wise Genes 27.9 see that she bee quicke and cleanly about her husbands meate and drinke and to prepare him the same according to his diet in due season Let her shew her selfe in word and deede wise humble courteous gentle and louing towards her husband and also towards such as he doth loue and then shall she leade a blessed life Let her shew her selfe not onely to loue no man so well as her husband but also to loue none other at all but him vnlesse it bee for her husbands sake Genes 2.23 24 Matth. 19.5 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 Wherefore let the wife remember that as the Scripture reporteth she is one bodie with her husband so that shee ought to loue him none otherwise then her selfe How the Wife ought to behaue her selfe vnto her Husband for this is the greatest vertue of a maried woman this is the thing that wedlocke signifieth and commaundeth that the wife should reckon to haue her husband for both father mother brother and sister like as Adam was vnto Eue and as the most noble and chast woman Andromache said her husband Hector was vnto her Thou art vnto me both father and mother Mine owne deare husband and well beloued brother And if it be true that men doe say that friendship maketh one heart of two much more trulie and effectuallie ought wedlocke to doe the same which farre passeth al maner both friendship and kindred Therefore it is not sayd that mariage doth make one man or one minde or one bodie of two but cleerely one person wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater dutie of the husband towards his wife and the wife towards her husband then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents The Apostle biddeth Rom. 12.15 to reioyce with them that reioyce and weepe with them that weepe With whom should the wife reioice rather then with her louing husband Or with whom should she weepe and mourne rather then with her owne flesh I will not leaue thee 2. King 21.5 saith Elisha to Eliah so she should say Gal. 6.2 I will neuer leaue him till death Beare one anothers burthen saith Paul Who shall beare one anothers burthen if the wife do not beare the husbands burthen Wicked Iezabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse 1. King 21.5 1. King 14.4 Genes 12.1 and Ieroboams wife sought for his health though she was as bad as he God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie as he did bid her husband yet because he bad Abraham leaue his she left hers too shewing that she was content not onely to bee his play-fellow Genes 2.18 but his yoke-fellow too Beside a yoke-fellow she is called a Helper to helpe him in his labours to helpe him in his troubles to help him in his sicknesse like a woman phisition sometime with her strength sometime with her counsell 1. Cor. 1.27 for sometime
example of the Scriptures are many that proue this As Sarah who nursed Isaack Genes 22.7 though shee were a Princesse and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken that paines as also hauing bin a beautifull woman euen in olde age being of great yeares yet she her selfe nurseth and giueth suck to her sonne 1. Sam. 1.23 Also Anna whom the holy Ghost hath lest it recorded as a commendation vnto her for that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel So when God chose a nurse for Moses he led the Hand-maide of Pharaohs daughter to his mother Exod. 2.8 Iudg. 13.24 Cant. 8.1 Psalm 22.9 Matth. 2.14 Luke 2.7.12 as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother Likewise after when the Sonne of God was borne his father thought none fit to be his nurse but the virgin his mother It is a commendation of a good woman and set downe in the first place 1. Tim. 5.10 as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of if she haue nursed her children And therefore such as refuse thus to doe may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers yea in so doing they make themselues but halfe-mothers and so breake the holy bond of nature in locking vp her breast from her child and deliuering it forth like the Cuckoo to bee hatched in the Sparrowes nest 3. Again the childrens bodies be commonly so affected as the milk is which they receiue Now if the Nurse bee of an euill complexion and as she is affected in her bodie or in her minde or haue some hidden disease the childe sucking of her breast must needs take part with her And if that bee true which the learned doe say that the temperature of the minde followes the constitution of the bodie needes must it be that if the nurse be of a naughty nature the child must take thereafter Yet if it bee that the nurse bee of a good complexion of an honest behauiour whereas contrariwise Maidens that haue made a scape are commonly called to be Nurses yet can it not bee but that the mothers milke should bee much more naturall for the childe then the milke of a stranger As by experience let a man bee long accustomed to one kinde of drinke if the same man chaunge his ayre and his drinke he is like to mislike it As the egges of a Henne are altered vnder a Hawke neuerthelesse such women as be oppressed with infirmities diseases want of milke or other iust and lawfull causes are to be dispensed withall but whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought Forsooth it is like the gowte no beggers may haue it but Citizens or Gentlewomen In the 9. of Hosea verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse What a lamentable hap haue Gentlewomen to light vpon this curse more then other sure if their breasts be drie as they say they should fast and pray togither that this curse might bee remoued from them 4. And lastly that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues both Phisitions can tell and some women full oft haue felt how they haue beene troubled with sore breasts besides other diseases that happen to them through plentie of milke The wife is further to remember that God hath giuen her two breasts not that she should employ and vse them for a shew or of ostentation but in the seruice of God and to bee a helpe to her husband in suckling the child cōmon to them both Experience teacheth that God cōuerteth her blood into the milke wherwith the child is nursed in the mothers wombe He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples conuenient to minister the warme milke vnto the childe whom he indueth with industrie to drawe out the milke for his owne sustenance The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not but refuseth this office and dutie of a mother declareth her selfe to be very vnthankefull to God and as it were forsaketh and contemneth the fruit of her wombe And therefore the bruit beasts lying vpon the ground granting not one nipple or two but sixe or seuen to their yong ones shall rise in iudgement against these daintie halfe-mothers who for feare of wrinckling of their faces or to auoid some small labour doe refuse this so necessary a dutie of a mother due to her children The properties due to a married wife are that shee haue grauitie when shee walketh abroad wisedome to gouerne her house patience to suffer her husband loue to breed and bring vp her children courteous towards her neighbours diligence to lay vp and to saue such goods as are within her charge a friend of honest company and a greater enemie of wanton and light toyes 1. So then the principall dutie of the wife is first to bee subiect to her husband Ephes 5.22 Col. 3.18 1. Pet. 3.1 2. To be chaste and shamefast modest and silent godly and discreet 3. To keepe herselfe at home for the good gouernement of her familie and not to stray abroad without iust cause Srepfathers Stepmothers their duties Here it is not to be pretermitted but that we must say somwhat touching men and women that bee twise married and so become Step-fathers The Husband and Wife must so praise his first Wife and she her first Husband so as it be not done to the offence or reproach of either to the other Iealousie which is the suspecting of adultrie in the married parties ought wiselie carefully to be suppressed on both parties without apparant matter and Step-mothers Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe after the death of their first wiues or first husbands are carefully to remēber that they do not displease their wiues or their husbands which they now haue by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife or first husband For the course condition of the world is such that husbands and wiues doe account and recouer things past better then things that be present And the reason is because no commoditie or felicitie is so great but it hath some griefe and displeasure and also some bitternesse mingled with it which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore but when it is one gone it leaueth no great feeling of it selfe behinde it and for that cause wee seeme to bee lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past then with those that are present Also age stealeth and commeth on apace which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and indure troubles and griefes now then before Therefore such men and women as bee twise married and be wise and religious ought not to esteeme their wife or husband which is dead better then her or him which they enioy now aliue remembring the common prouerbe That we must liue by the quick and not by the dead and that wee must make much of that we now haue The very name of Stepfather and Stepmother teacheth them their dutie Let the name of
Step-father and Step-mother admonish and put them in minde of their dutie towards the children of the one and the others for Step-father and Step-mother doth signifie a sted-father and a sted-mother that is one father or one mother dieth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therfore to the end that both their loues may be setled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did They must not look vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people 1. King 12.13 to 21. that he would bee worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to theÌ„ as Dauid came to the people after Sauls death who sayd 2. Sam. 2.7 Though your master Saul bee dead yet I will raigne ouer you so ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children wil loue you as much as their dead father or dead mother did For that man and that woman that are led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one and likewise she will account herselfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both for if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that many haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought mariage to cause the same which is the highest degree not only of friendships but also of al blood and kindred But Step-mothers doe more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections bee stronger then mens and many times ouer rule them and therefore they are earnestly to bee admonished and warned that they shew themselues to those motherles children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnes Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in stead of their owne mother to bee to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe would it be to her hart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne bodie should after her death haue a stepmother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them doubtles those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therfore alwaies haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto other Matth. 7.2 so it shall be measured to you againe That is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children for he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not bee like a stead-mother to hers vnlesse she bee like a stead-mother to these Verely a good woman will bee vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mittigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken And chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart like as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweet name of mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and minde when she shall heare her selfe named mother by any of her husbands childreÌ„ Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkinde then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kinde fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnes and mildnes vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kinde and louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of mother As wiues ought to goe comely cleanly and handsomely in their apparrell so they must in any wise beware of pride riot or excesse therein 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the dutie of wiues is that they doe not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with golde but that after the example of holie women which trusted in God they bee sober in outward apparell and ought to bee garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenes meeknes quietnes and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is so plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie chap. 2. vers 9.10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plating crisping broyding curling curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in so few words as hee hath spoken to the vtter dislike therof For if a maÌ„ should occupie himselfe and giue libertie to his penne to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride Pride is hatefull before God and man Be not therefore proude for thou art but dâ—ff and ashes that many women commit in this behalfe hee should rather want time to write then matter to speake Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues herein we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish theÌ„ but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may bee seene in Esay 3.16 c. For so it falleth out according to the common prouerbe Prou. 16.18 That pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrarie part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparel as best beseemeth their calling and degree so as by their good example Titus 2.3 they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe so rather to come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any waies to exceede herein to the
their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his household to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne Salomon to serue God Gen. 18.19 1. Chro. 28.9 Act. 10.2 2. Tim. 1 5. Parents must performe their dutie to their children moderately with great grauitie and authority Gen. 22.7.8 Pro. 4.3.4 5 6 Pro. 3.1.2 c. That is thought to be well done which is done by example 2. Sam. 13.28.29 Ezech. 16.44 Esay 24.2 Fruites are wont to take their shape and nature of the tree with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his household Likewise of Eunica the mother of Timothie that shee nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they doe amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding abominable in their doings ignorant and voyd of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If Parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must bee diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honestie themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the young learneth such a father such a sonne and such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours the bodie is commonly well affected euen so where the head or chiefe of any familie or household is religious and sound in the faith and feareth God it commonly goeth well with all the household What shall it auaile for parents to teach their children honestie modestie when they themselues in their workes and behauiour do inuite them to wantonnesse and lewdnesse Verball instruction without example of good deeds is a dead doctrine and contrariwise good examples are the life of instruction to make it profitable and effectuall If the example of parents be contrary to their instructions If we say they teach their childrē sobrietie modestie and chastitie yet thēselues will follow drunkennesse foule lasciuious speeches gestures and actions it is as if with their tongues they should say be vertuous and by the hands leade them with them to all vice and corruption So that wicked parents are wicked counsellers to their children If we would take him to bee a Monster in nature and vnworthie to liue in a Common-wealth that should counsell his childe to drunkennesse and fornication what shall wee thinke of those who committing such iniquitie do by their example much more mightily put forward their children to such abomination then by word they are able What account can those parents giue vnto GOD who by their euill example haue drawne into Hell their children whom he deliuered to their charge to be guided into heauen Albeit such parents pitie not themselues yet at last let them take pitie of their children and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction Such parents then deserue grieuously to be reproued as shall vse any lewd speeches or shamelesse behauiour in briefe any worldly or carnal actions in the presence of their children to whom their example may be as a dispensation to giue themselues to the like As also how can they forbid that in their children which they themselues do commit How can they correct them for the faults which they themselues vse Albeit children in respect and reuerence to their parents dare not reply and say that themselues doe these things for the which they reproue them yet will the neighbours or others obiect it to their shame Besides their authoritie shal be so much the lesse in that they declare in their works and actions that they allow that which they forbid in words If parents therefore desire that their instruction may be effectuall and yeeld fruit let them declare the same in holy life vertuous conuersation let them so order and gouerne themselues that their children seeing the same as it were in a glasse may bee restrained frō dishonest speech wicked deeds Let them do as guides that shew the right way ouer foordes and riuers by going before those whom they leade that their children following the steps and examples of their parents may conforme themselues to their vertues and so with them and by them be led to saluation and life euerlasting For this cause Moses gaue commandement vnto the Iewes Deut. 6.5.6.7 31.13 that the law might be kept in their families that they might prosper in al that they went about 2. Sam. 6.11 Whē Obed-edom had receiued the Arke of God into his house which signified true religion 1. King 17.10 c. 2. King 4.1 c the Lord blessed him and all his household When the widdow of Zarepthah in the dayes of Eliah and the other widdow of Israel in the dayes of Elisha had receiued the Prophets of God into their houses how mightily mercifully the Lord prouided for them who is ignorant When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health the Ruler beleeued and all his familie Iohn 4.53 Luke 19.9 After Zacheus had receiued Christ into his house and was conuerted saluation came to the same household Act. 10.44 To be short when Cornelius the Centurion embraced the Gospell his familie also beleeued and were baptized and the holy Ghost fell vpon them all which heard the preaching And how well that house was ordered 2. Tim. 1.5 3.15 where Timothie was brought vp his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witnesse And this is also a point worthie to be remembred that whereas the Lord by his Prophet Ezechiel Eze. 10.20.21 calleth the children of the Israelites which they had begotten His children because they were partakers of the promises signed with the seale of his couenant And the Prophet calleth them Psal 127.3 The inheritance of the Lord. Such parents therefore as bee Christians must know that their children are also the children of God and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour and therefore that they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe whose children they are if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare And much more if they as before time See more of this point in the Treatise of the vse and necessitie of catechising many haue done bequeath them and in a maner consecrate and sacrifice them to the seruice of men by thrusting thē into Abbeyes Munckeries Frieries Nunneries and Seminaries there to bee brought vp and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance
because they are contrary to good nourture and godly instruction Parents must bee very carefull that their children may learn some occupation or profession of life and this is either mechanical which wee call handicraft or liberall which is the learning of schooles and the end of this is eyther to get their liuing honestly and in Gods ordinance or else if they want no maintenance to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth No child of what birth and stocke so euer he bee ought to want this instruction and bringing vp If thou say my childe hath no need of any trade yet the Common wealth and Gods Church haue need of him for no man is borne for himselfe but his friendes will require one part his kindred another and his countrie the third And if handicrafts like thee not thou hast the liberall Sciences of which no man euer was yet ashamed but many haue made them their crowne of glorie Saul was anoynted King while he was seeking his fathers Asses 1. Sam. 9.2 c. and 16.11 Psal 78.70.71 1 King 19.19 Amos. 1.1.2 and Dauid was taken from the sheepefolde to feede with his wisedome and gouerne with his prudence that honourable people of the children of Israell And againe wee reade that those two famous Prophets Elisha and Amos the one was called from the plough and the other from keeping of beastes which examples doe plainely teach vs that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life bee it neuer so meane but crowneth it with his blessing to drawe all good mindes to his holy ordinance But now a daies such is the pride of our harts a thing to bee lamented through all our land that many gentlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade Oh it is too base and beggerly for them they must liue of their lands they must maintaine their gentrie a small learning will serue their turne but in the meane while this ordinance of God is neglected what misery from hence ensueth Who are the wasters of patrimonies Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common wealth Who are the deflowrers of maidens Who are the defilers of matrones Who are the corrupters of youth and to speake in one word who are the seedes-men of al mischiefe in our countrie but these children of gentlemen who haue not been taught trained vp in learning or some occupation while they were young For euen as a weed if it grow in a rancke soyle wil waxe out of measure noysome so these children comming of honorable and worshipful parents brought vp in ease and pampered with the delights of gentrie they waxe immeasurably vicious and who may keepe them vnder neyther lawes nor Magistrates nor any other good meane First Good manners in speech Parents must teach their children to vse faire speech not onely towards themselues but also towards others and to call their betters by a reuerent and an honourable name 1. Sam. 25.24 Mar. 10.17 Pro. 16.24 Secondly to speake modestly and humbly of themselues and this poynt of good manners they may learne of that wise matrone Abigail in 1. Sam. 25.41 where we reade that when she was sent for of Dauid to bee his wife shee first bowed her selfe to the seruants and then made this lowly answere to him that brought the message Beholde let thine Handmaide be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord. Thirdly to admonish them louingly to salute their frends and acquaintance and generally all others whom they take to bee christians and bretheren which consisteth in praying wel to others wishing health and prosperitie vnto them Luke 1.28 40. 1. King 1.27 Fourthly to put thē in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they haue receiued it with giuing of thankes Eccles 29.16 Genes 30.37 Fiftly to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed with humble crauing of pardon An example hereof they may haue in that vertuous and faire spokē matrone Abigail as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25.23 c. Oh that men and children sawe what great daungers they drawe vpon them by the neglect of this dutie and might preuent it and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others by meanes of it as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding innocent blood saued her own life with the liues of her familie and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter Againe Parents must teach their children good manners and ciuill behauiour to rise vp to their betters to vncouer the head to make obeysance to bee curteous towardes their equals to bee gentle and lowlie to their inferiours and louing and kinde to all this is no lesse needfull for youth then their meate and their drinke Also to admonish them to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them Iob. 32.4.5 That they keepe silence while their betters are in place vntill they be spoken vnto and then they must make answere in few words without vnnecessary circumstances and directly vnto the matter And they may not be loude babling or hotte in speech but colde and milde Pro. 17.27 Warne them that they do not interrupt or trouble others while they are in speaking Pro. 29.20 Wherefore if children wil keep the bounds of good maners they must not be streporous or troublesome in talke but they must obserue and take their due time and course and if there bee any thing spoken vnto which they would willingly make aunswere they must eyther courteously craue leaue of him that speaketh or else they must carrie it in remembrance vntill their turne commeth to speake which is the better of the twaine And further they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others and so suffer others to speake by them for there is a time to keepe silence and so to heare others speaking for hee that will haue all the talke passeth the boundes of good manners Moreouer Good manners in gesture Parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gesture to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others which consisteth in these poynts 1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham Genes 18.2 where it is said And hee lifted vp his eyes and looked and loe three men stood by him and when hee sawe them hee ranne to meete them from the tent doore Againe another example they may haue in King Salomon sitting vppon his regall throne 1 King 2.19 Bathsheba therefore went to King Salomon to speake vnto him for Adoniiah and the King rose to meet her 2. The second is to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them And this is taught Leuit. 19.23 Thou shalt rise vp before the hoare head and honour the person of the olde man and dread thy God I am the Lord. But heere wee must warne
besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good child yet if vnto the thousand generation there be but one good the couenant is not broken neither must wee tie the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an euil sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet hee may visit the sinnes of some of his Forefathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second wee say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercie to that particular man therein yet hee may remember his promise to some of the Forefathers in the thousand generations going before and though that an euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generations following Wherefore not speaking of election or reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to vse the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heyres of the couenant or at least be comforted in their own conscience if their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it in that to the vttermost of their abilitie they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well offered them to God And if parents haue cause to bee grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore let vs learne if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it and surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Simeon to depart in peace Luke 2.29 leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord so in death no one thing will bee more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to bee furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him how in as much as hee could hee hath helped thē forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their own soules before the Lord eyther for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and blood then such as might bee like to Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their ofspring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they eyther prophanely neglected all good education or monstrously misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to doe to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they doe lie in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soules Let all Parents remember that they are bound by the Law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such Fathers and mothers as consume and waste away their money and substance vnthriftily by dicing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should bee maintayned doe very vnnaturally sinne and breake Gods commandements The wise man sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruit of life and make them alway readie to die saying Eccles 12.1 Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue well and die well As if he should say Bee mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or defer it vntil age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it rose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very warie and carefull Marriage with Papists c. that their sonnes and daughters doe not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyd of true religion Which if they doe they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is how nigh a coniunctiō the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh bone of his bones Gen. 2.23 so that wee may not imagine that in the outward and worser part that that God which required so neer a coniuction wil suffer the mind and spirite of the husband and wife betweene faith superstition to be rent asunder Therfore when God said They shall be two in one flesh Verse 24. We may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should bee of two one Or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnity and called thē Adam Genes 5.2 So hee gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in mind and spirit called the one Man and the other Woman Genes 2.22 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge Gen. 2.24 For this cause shall a man leaue his father his mother and shall leaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could
Jehoram so dangerously to marrie 2. Chro. 18.1 When God would blame the Idolatrie of his people of Israel shewing both how greatly hee did hate it and what plagues he would bring vpon them for it he reuealed it vnto his Prophet vnder this parable bidding him take vnto himselfe a wife of fornications that is a wife full of spirituall whoredomes such a one as a Papist is that in such a mariage as in a glasse he might behold how loathsome the peoples Idolatries were Hose 1.2 c. Parents haue further to remember that they haue not this rule and authority ouer their children that they may chuse whether they will let them marrie or no or wheÌ„ they list and whom they list but fathers and mothers must consider that they haue rule ouer their children vnder the Lord so that the Lord is aboue them and therefore parents must deale with their children according to the will and minde of God which will of God is reuealed vnto vs out of his word Now God by his Apostle saith To auoyde fornication let euery man haue his owne wife 1. Cor. 7.2 let euery woman haue her own husband Wherby all parents may see that God commandeth them to permit and suffer euery one to marrie that is disposed to marrie Now if they may not forbid any man or woman to marrie much lesse their owne children whom if they suffer not to marrie not hauing the gift of continencie then they breake and resist Gods ordinance For we reade that when Isaack forbad his sonne Iacob to marrie any of the daughters of Canaan Gen. 28.1.2 he did not restraine him altogether from mariage and therfore hee directed him where and with whom he should marrie Likewise the parents of Sampson Iudg. 14.12.3 when hee asked a wife of them did not simply forbid him to marrie but they reproued him for because hee would marrie an infidell and a prophane woman It is the parents dutie to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12.14 Gen. 24.2 3 4. Ruth 3.1 Therefore such parents as bee godly will haue aduised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children and whether they can liue continent and chaste or no and if they shall make choise and haue a good liking to such as be honest religious and godly hauing craued their parents consent although they be not so rich and wealthie as they would wish them to match with yet they ought not to hinder restraine and forbid their children to marrie onely for want of goods and substance Parents ought to bee carefull that their childoe marrie in such an age wherein they should vnderstand whom they choose and very well perceiue what they take in hand and that they doe not seeke to match them selues in marriage aboue their degree And it is very expedient that parents admonish their children to make their choise according to their complexion and condition When parents doe abuse their authoritie This is a most vnnaturall and cruell part for parents to sell their children for gaine and lucre and to marrie them when they list to whom they list without the good liking of their children Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects and so bring them into bondage And therefore if parents shal force and compell their children to marrie contrary to their mind and liking then the sorrowfull children may not say they haue maried them but for euer they haue married and vndone them And therfore to the end When parents doe marrie their daughters to men of vnderstanding they shall performe a waightie worke that marriages may be perpetuall louing and delightfull betwixt the parties there must and ought to be a knitting of hearts before striking of hands The places of scripture are many diuerse by which may plainely appeare that all godly and christian Parents are charged by God himselfe that they should be carefull in time to make meet choise of husbands for their daughters fit wiues for their sonnes amongst many these quotations doe sufficiently prooue Deut. 7.3 Nehe. 13.23.24 Ier. 29.6.1 Cor. 7.36.37.38 Gen. 24.12 c. and 28 1.1 and 34.4 and 38.6.8 Iosu 15.16 17.2 Sam. 13.13 Iudg. 14.1 c. Let fathers and mothers therefore on whom this charge by God his commaundement lieth to take wiues for their sonnes and to prouide husbands for their daughters take diligent heede hereunto that they abuse not this their power and authoritie ouer their children but as in other cases they are willed by the Apostle Col. 3.21 that they doâ—â— not in such sort towardes them that they hereby bee dismayed and discouraged so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value or all other worldly things whatsoeuer let them abstaine from all rigour and roughnesse and beware that they turne not their fatherly iurisdiction and gouernment into a tyrannicall sowernesse and waywardnesse letting their will go for a lawe and their pleasure for a reason For the rule of Parents ouer their children ought to resemble the gouernment of good Princes towards their subiects that is to say it must be milde gentle and easie to bee borne for as they so likewise Parents so farre as concerneth them and lieth in their abilitie to performe they must carry such an euen and vpright hand in their gouernment that they may by loue seeke to win the hearts of those ouer whom they are set to be firme and sure towards them and not to keepe them vnder a seruile oâ— slauish awe and subiection by too much feare but rather by a childelike and reuerent feare which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes and children vnto their Parents and which both the one and the other easilie obtaine at the hands of such as are vnder their gouernment by their equall vpright and moderate behauiour towards them Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children It doth therefore stand Parents greatly in hand that in making choise for their children they bee free from all sinister and corrupt affection and that for lucre and couetousnesse they seeke not to thrust such matches vppon their children as they cannot brooke nor like well of Yea and in this most graue and waightie cause it is a thing earnestly to be wished In prouiding of matches for their children Parents ought to beginne with prayer that all christian Parents would not take this matter and businesse lightly in hand as if it were but a toy or a iest but that they begin it with prayer that in the whole action they may in such sort be directed that they do nothing against the word of God or vnbeseeming the same authoritie the which God himselfe in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them And thus doing God no doubt will ad a blessing vnto their godly indeuour and holy care and worke
sooner shall hee learne his occupation and the more readie and handsomer shall he◠bee about the same And besides this hee that hath learning although it bee but small shall much better vnderstand the Preachers and take more profit by hearing of them to his great and endlesse comfort then hee that hath no learning Experience also teacheth vs this that goods riches beautie glorie and health bee vnstable and fade perish passe away come and goe but learning and vertue neuer stagger alway bee constant Therefore of all the charges that Parents bee about their children that mony is best bestowed that is layed out vppon learning especially when they are taught to know God aright and how hee will be serued It is a lamentable thing to consider how carelesse some Parents are of their children when they put them to the schoole in that they make no small account and reckoning to what schoolemaister they put their children to learn so they may haue thē taught for litle or no cost though their children profit litle or nothing in learning so that oftentimes they not onely bestowe their money in vaine but also they suffer their children to loose their time which is a thing so precious as it cānot be redeemed with any mony and so to let them spend two or three yeares in learning of that which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilful schoolemaister learne in lesse then half this time if there be any aptnesse towardnesse in their childrē Therfore let parents remember that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne vnlesse there bee a meet husbandman to till and sow the same so likewise it is not ynough to finde good towardnesse in your children vnlesse you prouide a meete fit Schoolemaster to further the same And as Noble-men and Gentlemen are desirous to haue a good and skilfull hors-keeper that can keepe their horses wel they spare not to giue stipends to such euen so much more ought christian Parents be desirous to haue and maintaine a good schoolemaster that might bring vp their children in vertue wisedome and good learning And like as if their horse be not wel brokē or haue any euil quality they wil be careful to see it remedied and that he may be made tractable and gentle so likewise godly parents ought to be much more careful not only that their childrē may by instruction be brought to some good order but also to look that there be no fault in the teacher to whom they commit the care to bring them vp in learning good manners Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning But alas and with griefe be it spoken many men now a daies albeit they perceiue their children to be forward apt vnto letters and capable to receiue good learning hauing wealth and riches ynough to maintaine them thereat yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat vntill they come to any good perfection some because they themselues doe not like of our state and religion other some because they see little preferment and no worldly aduantage to follow learning but great trouble and affliction all which men in this doing declare themselues to be irreligious vngodly and destroyers both of themselues their children and of all Commonwealthes and Congregations For what publike Wealth Towne Cittie or Parish can bee well gouerned without the Prince Magistrate and Preacher bee learned both in humaine and diuine lawes In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion at which time men saw so many spiritual promotions as they then called them vnto rich Bishoppricks Abbeyes Priories Deaneries benefices c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sorte to the end they might get them to be Priests and so to say Masse and the rest of that Idolatrous seruice that so they might liue in ease aed idlenesse But now they see how painefull and perilous a charge it is to preach rightly to diuide Gods word and to deliuer the same freely and faithfully also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is to gouerne well a Congregation that they had rather their children should be bound prentices to some trade or else to follow any other profession then that they should studie diuinitie When children were nothing apt to good learning and when there was no good learning to be had no nor good teachers yet then well was he that might set his childe to schoole But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning as it is at this day and learning and al good meanes neuer so plenteously florishing beeing restored and reduced into such a facility and a compendious cleare briefnesse yea neuer so good learned and skilfull Schoole maisters neuer so plentie of so good and plaine bookes printed neuer so good cheape the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts as it were into the mouthes of all men and yet alas but few there be that wil opē their mouthes to receiue them their eyes to see so cleare light nor yet their eares to heare so pure manifest wholesome and heauenly doctrine euen the word of God the meanes of their saluation It is therefore to be feared that for this our great vnthankfulnesse these so manifolde heauenly blessings shal be taken from vs and giuen to some other nation that will both be more thankfull for them and also shew forth better fruits of christianitie then we hitherto haue done Oh therfore that parents would aduisedly consider that for want of this christian dutie of the good education of their children is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much misery both vppon children and themselues yea in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow griefe and shame befalleth many times vpon fathers and mothers And how commeth this to passe that the Parents owne dung is cast in their faces by their owne children in mocking and despising of them and whence arise all these inconueniences before named togither with all these grieuous plagues iudgements of God vpon their children to the consuming of their eyes but from this their owne negligence in bringing vp their children for it is euen iust with God that seeing they haue offended him in the greatest blessings they should bee plagued with the fame thing wherein they offended with his greatest iudgements O you vnnaturall parents the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you Luke 16.27 in the day of iudgement and condemne you for he being in hell had a care of his fathers house that they might be forewarned and therefore desired Abraham to send Lazarus to his brethren to testifie vnto them that they came not into that place of torment but you will not admonish your children you will not teach them Moses and the Prophets and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure hanging ouer their heads
bind them but also that they bee carefull that they liue honestly God made euery weeke one day of rest wherein seruants shuld be as free as their masters Gen. 2.2 vertuously and christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with ouermuch labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide theÌ„ when they shall neglect their dutie least they bee prouoked with ouer hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord master in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthie his hire euen so much more the seruant which laboreth euery day Luke 10.7 As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18.5 Iob. 31.13.14.15 For a good man saith SalomoÌ„ Pro. 12.10 will be mercifull to his beast and therefore he ought to be more merciful to his seruants being his brethren Ephe. 6.9 And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithful labor of their seruants pay them their couenants in a fit conuenient time least being compelled by necessitie they should steale Masters ought not as Tyrants to vse their seruants as their Horses or Asses but to deale with them louingly christianly because they are all members of one bodie whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some masters that vse their seruants and prentices more like beasts then like men their own members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their Master a straight account Oh that christian masters and mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good vpright dealing with his seruants which was far from rigor where he saith Jf I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maid when they did contend with mee that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me What then shall J do when God standeth vp If I had oppressed others how should I haue escaped Gods iudgement and when he shall visit me what shall J answere He that hath made me in the wombe hath hee not made him which moued him to shew pitie and fauour vnto his seruants because they were Gods creatures as he was hath not hee alone fashioned vs in the wombe Hereby then may those masters dames see their wickednesses who wil not heare their seruants speake but vpon a simple surmise and brainsicknes doe euill intreat them by cruell stripes when in trueth there is no iust cause Reuiling words and vnreasonable fiercenesse doth much more hurt to seruants then good Phil. 16.17 Masters and Mistresses ought therefore to vse their seruants and prentices with mildnesse and equity as euery one shal deserue for they must remeÌ„ber that they haue all one God to honour worship one Prince to serue one law to keepe and one land to inhabit and one death to feare and therefore they must speake vnto them as vnto brethren and sisters and deale with them as with christians And let them alwayes remember this namely that God will neuer deale mercifully with theÌ„ if they make not greater account that their seruants doe serue him more carefully then themâ—elues and sanctifie his Sabboths Exod. 20.10 Deut. â— 14 And therefore that master is not worthie to bee serued which can not afford that his seruants should serue God as well as himselfe Hee must giue vnto God that which is Gods and then hee may the better take that wihch is his owne For 1. Tim. 5.8 Hee that careth not for his familie saith Paul is worse then an Infidell because Infidels care for their familie As it is the office of a good householder to carrie the burthen of care trauell and labour so it is the dutie of his wife to bee faithfull in keeping and well ordering of his goods house and to see his her owne their childrens best apparel brusht handsomely laid vp to be patient and carefull to see her husband doe well and both their duties is effectually to giue good examples to be diligent to entertaine peace amongst their familie and to see all things neat and handsome and to keepe due order measure For as the Sunne in the firmament giueth light to all the Regions round about him Seruants doe rather imitate the workes they see their Masters doe then the words which they heare them speake Pro. 29.21 and by his bright appearing expelleth the darknes comforteth cheareth the world euen so likewise should housholders labour to banish sin and corrupt religion out of their dwellings and to be a lanterne of godly life to comfort and shine to their whole familie that so they may direct their liues after their good examples Phil. 2.15 Matth. 5.16 A Master ought so to behaue himselfe with his seruants that hee bee not too familiar with them which many times breedeth contempt but to admonish them often and therewithall not to discourage them from well doing not to be too seuere nor too partiall but to moderate all by discretion For like as the Centurion Luke 7.8 who had many seruants vnder his authoritie and they were all at his becke and Commaundement most readie to obey him in any thing that hee set them about and this good order and submission hee had brought them vnto by the reason that his said seruants were deare vnto him that is hee made a speciall reckoning of them and was as a father vnto them so likewise all masters are in conscience bound to esteeme and account well of their seruants and to vse their authoritie that they haue ouer them mildly and christianly and then if their seruants doe perceiue that they are deare vnto their masters Ephes 6.9 so may the masters in time worke them like waxe to their owne minde except they be such as haue sold themselues to worke wickednesse It is very conuenient that a master of a familie should so dispose and order his affaires and busines that he depart absent himselfe from home as little us may bee for it is an olde saying and a true That the eye of the master doth make the horse fat and the ground fertile for al things are wel and fitly done when the master is present Such house-keepers as haue much and yet spend little are called niggards and they that haue little and yet spend much are holden fooles spend-thrifts and prodigall wasters and therefore they ought to liue in such sort that they be not noted mizers for their keeping either prodigall for their spending The couetous miserable niggard passeth great toyle and trauels in gathering of his riches danger in keeping theÌ„ law in defending them and torment in departing from them But a wise man is not carefull so much for riches and how to liue long as to liue well and die well Some householders