putem c. Quint. lastit l 2. cap. 1. no more wit what expect we from a childe He was ashamed to be seen at the doore he helpt himself well to go within the doores then as his friend said he was within indeed and the further he was so much the more within so a childe will do he will hide himself in the thicket at least he thinks so further and further if he apprehend much rigour there is much wisedome to be used here and mercy also and great reason there is to incline us to both as we shall hear in due place For the present that which hath been said may assure us that fiercenesse helps not in the unrooting of evill it hinders much the implanting of good There it hurts very much which is the second 2. If ever mildnesse gentlenesse calmnesse and sweetnesse of carriage do good and do become then more especially when we would winne upon the affection and sink into the understanding when we would lodge some precepts in the minde draw the heart and set it right Now while we are instructing handle the childe freely and liberally in a sweet and milde way speak kindly to it we must now and then we may have its heart for ever if we be rough and harsh now we fright away our game The instruction which we inforce into the minde by a kinde of violence will not long continue there but what is insinuated and fairly induced with delight and pleasure will stick in the mind the longer Trem. Preface before Iob. If Moses be to instruct he is commanded to speak not to smite and it teacheth us That a sweet compellation and carriage wins much upon the heart but we suppose we are dealing with children It is a mad behaviour and no better to suffer the hand to move as fast as the tongue and to strike at the head too the seat of understanding The head is to our little world as man is to the great world the verie abridgement or epitome of a man spare the head of any place else you may drive out that little which is and stop the entrance for coming in of more The Lord make all teachers understand this truth and pardon our failings herein and the Lord teach parents also whose duty more peculiarly we are upon to correct and instruct their children in all meeknesse That we may all learn I will set down some considerations which may calm the parent and take off from his hastinesse when he would unroot evill a great enemy to that good he ows and doth really intend the childe 3. I suppose now such a parent who hath beene fierce and eager upon the childe striking flinging kicking it as the usuall manner is because of its stomack towards the parent which he will pluck down and because it stands in a lie which he is resolved to fetch on t such a Parent I suppose for such there are and this I would have him consider it may make him wiser against the next time First †1. Who is that upon whom he hath bestowed so many hard blows both from hand and foot too I tell but my own observation who is it he hath used so disgracefully with such contumelious words It is no other then the image and glory of God A strong consideration to cause the 1. Cor. 11. 7. parent to carry himself comely and reverently before the childe which he may do and yet make the childe both to know and keep its distance else it cannot know its dutie A Parent cannot conceive the childs condition to be more Maxima debetur pueris Reverentia Iuv. Major è longinquo Reverentia Tacit. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. de prosper Adver Hom 5. â— deplorable then was the Rich-mans in the Parable yet saith Chrysost and he makes it very useful Abraham called him Sonne a compellation still befitting a Father so also words and actions well becoming that sweet name a Jud. 9. α. and most likely to winne upon and to convince the childe whereas bitter and vilifying words become not though we did contend with the Devill a Jud. 9. α. Kinde words make rough actions plausible The bitternesse of reprehension is answered with the pleasingnesse of compellations Sonne let that be the name for so he is though never so bad And as a childe hath no greater argument to prevail with a Father then by that very name of love so nor hath a parent any stronger argument whereby to prevail with his childe then by that very name of dutie whether we respect his Father on earth whose childe he is or in heaven whose image and impresse he beares though now much defaced This is the first †2. And it is his own image too that 's the second consideration his very picture even that childe whom in the rage and rore of his anger he hath thrown and battered so He is a mad man that will kick and throw about his picture specially if the picture doth fully and lively shew forth his proportion This childe is the parents picture right and never so fully the parents image as now that it is in a stubborn fit It is a certain truth a parent never sees his own revolting and stubborn heart more expressed to the life then he may do in a stubborn childe then he may see it as plainly as face in water answers face this is a weighty consideration if it be put home A Parent must consider whence had the childe this who put this in which the parent would now in all haste fetch out Sinfull peremptory nature runnes in a bloud it is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1. Pet. 1. 18. by tradition the childe received it of the father This the Parent must not forget and then his carriage will not be such as may lose the childes heart and alienate his affections such an effect harshnesse and roughnesse may work it may make the childe think that the parent hates his own flesh a In â—mendando nâ— acerbus c. quidam sic objurgant quasi oderint Quint. 2. 2. 3. Is the childe thus stiffe and stubborn thus confirmed in evill Doth it stand against all the parents knocks and threats like a rock immoveable Consider then he must whence was that Rock he wen The parent is the quarry or pit whence it was taken and whence it contracted this Tanquam dura siiâ—x aut stet Vâ—g rockinesse It cannot be too often considered but it was the former consideration the parent must consider this here and it sufficeth to calme and quiet him to take off from his eagernesse that the time was when the childe was not so stiffe and so though it was tâ—nder like a twig so as a twig or the sight of it would have moved and stirred it but then the parent would not it was too soon the time was not yet afterwards would be soon enough Now if it be too late he must thank himself
the Works of Nature both for the bringing of them to their perfection and for the keeping of them therein being brought unto it i See Dr. Hack. Apol. lib. 2. cap. 9. Sect. 3. p. 143. Having now concluded the worth of a vertuous education and the necessitie of the same it followes That my own practise be somewhat answerable to the Rule Therefore have I penned mine own Duty with mine own hands which may serve for a parent at large to direct and teach him his This I have digested into two parts each entire of themselves but yet as different in the subject matter and manner of handling as is the subject I would informe In the first part a Childe in its minoritie and younger yeers the second a Childe growne up Both the one and the other the subject of a Parents care and charge which in the first part is largely treated on with the manner or way how he may discharge the same The way is to make the Childe know himselfe then to know that which may be known of God k Rom 119. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which is manifest for God hath shewed it unto him by that he sees and feeles of Him so haply he may feele after Him and finde Him l Acts 17. 27. This then is my subject now even The good culture of the Childe an old Theame whereto little that is new can be added either for forme or matter Yet because it is a work daily repeated and of Infinite concernment to the Childe And being a parent myselfe I obtained of my selfe naturally very indisposed to my pen to set downe out of some continued experience and some conversation with Children and Books concerning that Theame what I thought pertinent to that businesse The furthering and improving that great worke What now remaines as an introduction thereto I branch under these heads First making this my scope the good Culture of the Childe and being to note some wants and Deficiencies therein I shall first briefly observe such defects as my riper yeers have discerned in my own education the trayning up my younger yeers which may be of some use to others for prevention Secondly I shall note a naturall defect which troubled me very much For I thought it the greatest crosse in the world but it proved no small benefit And this I must not passe over because it will be of large use both to the Parent and the Childe a good introduction to Duty unto both Lastly I shall set downe what perswaded me to put my hand to this work and that will be of force to engage every Parent upon the same bounden Duty and service First then for so I make way unto it with some digression I had naturally Linguam impeditam a stammering tonge my Mother who could love her Childe and yet be wise two things they say incompatible m Non conceditur simulamare saâ—ere but she could do both as all knew that knew her was tender of me and the more tender the more my imperfection was And such discretion she used in that case as indeed she did in all points touching her Children A true Eunice though having five sonnes She had not one Timothy for instructions and prayers both are too short for that worke Such discretion I say she used towards me that had I found the same under those hands whereto I was committed I perswade my selfe I had every way thrived better then I did and in point of pronunciation a chiefe point in a Scholler I had not found so great discouragement as afterward I did I mention my Mother here not my Father because that Stay and Staff the Lord took away from her head our Tabernacle in a needfull time when I was little more then a yeer old the youngest of nine but one was not and another there was newly laide in the cradle A sad stroke and as sad a widow A Widow indeed n 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Tim. 5. 5. and vers 3. and that sufficeth for her honour Then her charge was double She was Father and Mother both and so she discharged both parts as that thereby she had double honour No Children in that Countrey of what ranke soever did owe more to a Mother for her precepts her prayers and her Practise then we did it is our engagement and no parent expected and had a more honourable observance from her Children then She had Mothers may hold their Authoritie and maintaine the same say what they will to the contrary It is their fault if they doe not maintaine their Right and it will be their sorrow She lived to see her Childrens Children and a greater blessing then that too Peace upon Israel peace and truth all her dayes And when her Day came even her appointed Day then was she taken away from seeing the evill to come She died as She lived I mention but the practice of her widowhood like Iacob blessing her children so she fell asleepe and was brought to the grave that silent place like a Sheafe of wheat to the barne as full of graces as of yeers I have digressed a little here but I could not remember a Mother and such a Mother barely so and no more From under her genttle and wise government I was put to Schoole to one of the best note in all that Countrey I shall point to the wants there which my riper yeers have noted in my education then for so our Learned Interpreter Iunius hath done before me I spent sixe yeers and an halfe in the Grammer Schoole trained up according to the bad fashion for we say as o Pravo nostri aevi more Cent. Misc Epist 87. p. 494. Lipsius saith of most Teachers then and now The understanding of a Childe is left to its owne information which will belong first and its memory is first dealt with and Tasked a burden though not so felt p Neque ulla aelas minus satigatur Qâ—intil 1. cap. 12. yet a burden and heavier then we would have to be imposed upon our selves for we will understand first and then commit to Memorie which is the order of Nature for in true order and place the Memory comes the last of three The understanding should be a leading hand to it and the sense to the understanding and then the Memory hath its due place and will doe its due office when first the sense and understanding have done theirs such a reciprocation reflux or mutuall working there is betwixt them if they worke in order It requires speciall observation In all this time spent in Grammar sixe yeers is a great length in our span I know not which lost me most time feare or Play I know I played away much of the time for all the sorrow but I know also feare hindred me most and cast me farthest back I remember the noble Knights words in his feigned Arcadia His q pag. 11. minde saith he was fixed upon
Childe who could not for the lownesse of Parts be framed to doe much good service will frame it selfe to doe none at all but the contrary much hurt as we see in experience Suppose then for so we may that a Childe be framed by nature and for Parts but to drive the Cart or hold the Plough p Natura servus ad slivam natus why yet if he be fit for either of these two imployments Servill we call them before he had strength for that labour in that emptie space of Time before for so the Parent makes it which lyeth betwixt 6. yeers and 13. which runs forth like water whereof is no use to waste the Childe might have been fitted by good culture and Tillage to have known the nature of the worke he should afterwards be set about which yeelds many excellent instructions no profession more then Husbandry doth this working in the Earth It is an ancient it was an honourable q Plin nat Hist lib. 18. 3. Dr. Hack. Apol. B. 3. sect 3. profession also though now Cooks are in more esteeme r 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Clem. Alex. poed 2. 1 p. 106. and the Lord condescended to the capacitie of none more then to the capacitie of the Husbandmen which sets much upon their score But for want not of nature or parts but of this culture Å¿ Manifestum est non naturam sed curam deâ—ecisse Qâ—int 1. 1. of the minde which should fill up the empty space of time before mentioned and the minde too your Husbandmen many or the most of them understand no more concerning the lessons which the holding of the Plough the tearing up of the ground the casting in of the seed the dying in the earth the growing of the same the cutting the gathering the housing and threshing thereof no more doe they understand of all these things or of the lessons there-from then their Oxe or Horse doth whom they follow And all this for want of this culture of the minde the season being neglected because the Childe was designed for the field For my part had I a Childe to designe thither to the Plough I meane or to the Sea or to some lesse stirring trade in all these cases or courses of life learning is neglected as a thing of no use I should as faithfully for it were my duty bestow upon him the culture and manurance of his minde first and as readily I should doe it and I should thinke to very good ends as another Parent would doe that had designed his to the Colledge The purpose then I tend unto and that I would conclude from hence is but this What ever is wanting to the Childe Let not education or instruction be Wanting t 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Clem. Alex. sho 1. p. 209. Children who have beene no way apt by Nature have beene made Apt by education And they who have been very Apt by Nature to good have proved very bad by neglect and carelesnes Translated out of the same Author the following page 210. Fill up this emptie space which commonly Parents make so with some seasonable instructions And the more unfit and unapt the Child is the more the Parents care and paines must be Nor must the Parent be hartlesse in the businesse but as the Husbandman their work is like sometime they meete with hard and stony places which by good culture they make fruitfull he must labour in hope And how unserviceable soever the Childe seeme to be yet He that had need of an Asse can make use of him whereto though the Parent cannot designe him yet his Lord can I remember that Noble Schollar Morneus tels us That his Maide would sweepe out of his study and into the Dust-basket such little pieces as he could make very good use of and could not spare so by his appointment in She brought them againe wherein he taught both the Maide and us not to despise Small things there may be for ought we know a blessing in them nor neglect the poorest weakest creatures What know we what the Great God intends them for Let the Parent doe his Duty He shall finde great satisfaction therein in giving his utmost care and paines A Pilot saith Quintil. hath a satisfying plea though his ship miscarry that he was watchfull at the Sterne and imployed his best care and skill there If Parts be wanting and Grace too a Commoditie the Parent cannot stow in the Childe yet he must be lading it as he can yet the Parent hath this comfort in case of miscarriage That he he hath steered his course according to the Rules of Right Reason and by the Compasse of Gods Word In case of defects and wants in the Childe we must learne submission to Him that made it so We must not strive with our Maker Let the Potsheard strive with the Potsheards of the earth What weaknesse or imperfection there is we must think it good because the Lord sees it best As we must not question His power no not in a wildernesse so not His worke because if it be deformed sinne hath done it The work must not say to the workman why hast thou made me so God made us well we unmade our selves Sinne causeth this double decay of Gods Image on us We may note this with it That a good man may have a bad house yet the man never the worse And a good wit and a good minde both though it is none of the best signes Natura â—ibi peccat in â—no perichâ—atur in 〈◊〉 may have a bad dwelling And if so we must comfort our selves in this That God can supply the want of eyes hands feet He can give some inward speciall gift which will countervaile that want what ever it be The want of the outward eye shall intend the minde perhaps further the inward and more noble light and so in the rest It may be also if those had beene open they had been guides to much evill and the hands as active that way and the feete as swift which now are maimed or imperfect And as we must learne to submit unto Him not questioning His worke so also to depend upon Him not questioning His power no not in a wildernesse An happy weaknesse as before was said that puts us off from our owne bottome and rooteth us on God Who can provide there and then when man is at a stand The lesse likelyhood in the creature the greater should be the creatures trust The Lord many times crosseth the streame and course of meanes to shew his own Soveraignty and to exercise our dependance He setteth aside more likely and able meanes and blesseth weake meanes to great purpose Things or instruments by which God will worke may have very meane appearance as worthlesse they may be in shew as a dry y Exod. 7. 17. stick an Oxes z Judg. 15 16. goad or the jaw-bone a Judg. 3. 31. of an Asse yet of
like Treatises This Author hath more punctually and pertinently handled all kinde of duties from ones first entrance into this world to his going out thereof then any of the fore-named Authors or any other that have written of the like subject Such varietie of matter is here couched as it will prove usefull to all of all sorts that will reade and heed it The Lord give a blessing to this and all other like labours of his faithfull servants Amen William Gouge THE CONTENTS OF THE BOOK CHAP. I. WHat the Parents dutie when it begins Gods gracious work upon the Childe framing it in the wombe and giving it its due proportion of parts what thanks therefore pag. 1. 2. How Sinne defaceth Gods Image How repaired Of Baptisme and the solemnitie thereof The Mother the Nurse to pag. 4. The Mother is most imployed about the head of the Childe my head my head saith the Childe carry him to the Mother saith the Father 2 Kings 4. 19. The Mother is charged with the head Father and Mother both with the heart and this work is for the closset pag. 4. What Infancy is called an Innocent Age but miscalled Something may be done even then for the rectifying the Childes body and his heart too Grave considerations pressing to that Dutie from pag. 5. to pag. 9. CHAP. II. CHild-hood and youth how they differ whereâ—â— they agree unhappy Ages both The period of this Age not easily defined The Parent makes it longer or shorter as their care is more or lesse pag. 10. Parents not discharged in point of care when they have charged the Schoole with their childe how vain that thought pag. 12. How preposterous the Parents care How much Father and Mother both do crosse their own ends What a point of wisdome it is well to Time our beginnings When the Seed-Time what their imployment there to pag. 15. CHAP. III. A Two-fold imployment which lyeth in the order of Nature and right reason Lets hindring this twofold dutie two fondnesse fiercenesse extreames yet ordinarily in one and the same Parent I. Of fondnesse what causeth it Youth more profitable Child-hood 〈◊〉 delightfull * Fructuosior est adolescentia liberâ—rum sed Infantia dulcior Sen. epist 9. What hurt fondnesse doth The Divels â—â—â—â—theâ—ing engine to pag. 18. Foure mightie 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to fortifie us against it from pag. 19. to pag. 2◠〈◊〉 â—xamples evidencing how destroying it is to pag â—â— Repeated concluded in Mr. Bâ—ltoâ—s words with some use of the whole to all Parents to page 26. II. Fiercenesse whose fruit it is and how much it hinders to pag. 27. It helps not to unroot evill but rather roots it more in to pag. 29. It hinders much the Implanting of good to pag. 30. Considerations which may help to calme a Parent when in heat of spirit he is about to unroot evill are three very worth his consideration to pag. 33. Considerations which may arrest a Parents hand when he is about the implanting of good are foure which being considered will command an answerable practise to pag. 35. CHAP. IIII. OVr nature like a soyle fruitfull of weeds what they are and how unrooted 1. Pride the heart-string of corruption Chrysostomes note upon it how cherished how the contrary grace may and ought to be instilled to pag. 38. 2. Frowardnesse a spice of the former The Parents dutie here how the contrary grace may be inforced to pag. 40. 3. The way of lying and the way the Parent must take to prevent the course of it a great work if it may be done if not the Childe is fit for no societie to pag. 41. 4. Idlenesse how corrupting and provoking Labour how naturall to a man how he is provoked thereunto to pag. 43. 5. A bad Maligâ—us comeâ— quamvâ—s candâ—do simplici râ—biginem suam suam affricuit Sen. epist 7. companion how infectious and corrupting he will defile the best and most candid nature with his foule example pag. 44. 6. The evill of the Tongue prevented by teaching the Childe silence and this the Parent must teach himself and his Childe under five notions The briefe of that which concernes the Childes Instruction is while it is a Childe let its words be answers Nature teacheth much at this point and they more who walked by an higher light pag. 47. 7. An oath a word cloathed with death in a Childes mouth the Parent as in all so here very exemplary yea yea nay nay The Friers note upon those words No more must be heard from a Childe pag. 48. 8. The Childe must be taught what weight there is in those words yea yea c. A good hint there-from to teach the Childe to abhorre that religion which gives no weight to words nor oathes neither pag. 51. 9 10 11 12. Nick-names and abuses that way are ordinary with Children and a fruit of corrupt nature so quarrelling uncovering their nakednesse mocking scorning the meaner sort Great evills to be corrected and prevented in Children betimes a notable example to presse us thereunto to use our Inferiours kindely to pag. 53. 13. Cursing a great evill so imprecations against our selves Foure great examples full of instructions who spake rashly and were payed home in that they spake to pag. 57. 14. As Childrens Tongues must be watched over for the Tongue is a world of wickednesse so must their hands They will spill more then they eate how to teach Children to prize the good creatures pag. 59. 15. Children delight in the pain and vexation of those weake creatures that are in their power A great evill to be looked unto and prevented betimes considering our natures what they are page 61. 16. Nature fruitfull of evills more then can be pointed at or prevented but that is the true and genuine order of nature to prevent the evills thereof first pag. 62. 17. Teaching by examples the best way of teaching and the shortest they make the deepest impression pag. 64. CHAP. V. THe implanting of good the order therein The foure seasons in the day seasonable therefore 1. How uncomfortable darknesse is how comfortable the light A notable lesson there-from wherein our light and the true light differ to pag. 67. The Sun knoweth his appointed Time what that teacheth The Sun is glorious in his rising and refresheth how that instructeth pag. 68. Sin and sorrow will sowre the sweetest earthly Blessings where the root of our comfort pag. 69. The Sun a publique servant teacheth man so to be even to serve his brother in Love and to shew to him the kindnesse of the Lord what the Idol of the world what makes man an abomination from pag. 69. to pag. 71. The Morning the first fruits of the day our season what a Mercy to have it but a greater to take it what our first work and with whom what our engagements to set about it what may be instilled by continuall dropping from pag. 71. to pag. 77. CHAP. VI. VVE eat bread at Noon What that implieth
how fraile our bodies what our use therefrom pag. 78. Our right to the Creatures how lost how regained pag. 79. In eating we must use abstinence Intemperance how provoking to God how hurtfull to man and unbeseeming the Lord of the Creatures to pag. 81. When the fittest season to teach and learn abstinence how necessary a grace specially in these times when so much wrath is threatned What use a Parent must make hereof to Children Their lesson before and at the table to pag. 85. When we have eaten we must remember to return Thanks The threefold voice of the Creatures what the Taxation or Impost set upon every Creature If we withhold that homage we forfeit the blessing The memorable words of Clemens Alexandrinus A strange punishment upon one who seldome or never returned thanks so concluded pag. 90. CHAP. VII THe Method in reading the Book of the Creatures Foure Objections with their Answers out of the Lord Verulam to pag. 93. How to reade the Book of the Creatures Extreames corrected and accorded Two primitive Trades An Apocrypha Scripture opened and made usefull to pag. 97 How to teach the Childe to spell the Book of Nature What is the compendious way of Teaching to pag 100. Essayes or Lectures upon the creatures beginning at the Foot-stool Three enquiries touching the earth 1. What form or figure 2. Whence its dependance 3. What its magnitude Instructions therefrom very grave and usefull all from pag. 100 to pag. 107. A view of the Creatures In their variety delightfull and usefull Two Creatures onely instanced in From a little Creature a great instruction What a mercy to be at peace with the stones and creeping things From pag. 107. to pag. 114. The Waters their Surface barres or bound Their weight II. The Creatures therein the ship thereupon Great lessons from all from pag. 114. to pag. 122. repeated and mans ingratitude convinced 123. The Aire The wayes and operations thereof admirable III. Whence changed and altered for mans use sometimes for his punishment The windes Their circuit Their wombe to pag. 125. The winged Creatures Their provision and dependance greatly instructing man and reproving his distrust to pag. 126. The Clouds the ballancing of them The binding the waters within them The making a course for the Rain out of them All these three the works of Him that is wonderfull in working to pag. 127. Of Lightning Job 26. 14. But the Thunder of His power who can understand The Snow and the Haile and where their Treasure to pag. 128. The wonderfull height of the starrie Heaven Of the Firmament IIII. Psal 150. Why so called and why the Firmament of His power The eye a curious Fabrick of admirable quicknesse How excellent the eye of the soul when cleared with the True eye-salve The heavens outside sheweth what glory is within Chrysostomes use thereof and complaint thereupon to pag. 134. Of the Sunne Why I descend again to that Creature Three things in that great Light require our Mark. Grave and weighty lessons from all three Concluded in Mr Dearings and Basils words to pag. 144. CHAP. VIII THE Day and Night have their course here But after IIII. this life ended it will be alwayes Day or alwayes Night A great Instruction herefrom to pag. 147. Our senses are soon cloyed We are pleased with changes What Darknesse is The use thereof A little candle supplies the want of the Sun How that instructeth How we are engaged to lie down with thoughts of God to pag. 153. CHAP. IX A Great neglect in point of education Mr Galvines Mr Aschams Mr Perkins and Charrons complaint thereof The ground of that neglect to pag. 156. The Parent must fix upon two conclusions Of the School Whether the Childe be taught best abroad or at home 157. The choice of the Master Parents neglect therein The Masters charge 159. His work His worth if answerable to his charge to pag. 160. The Method or way the Master must take How preposterous ours Who have appeared in that way to pag. 164. The School must perform its work throughly The childes seed-time must be improved to the utmost before he be promoted to an higher place The danger of sending Children abroad too soon When Parent and Master have promoted the Childe to the utmost then may the Parent dispose of the Childe for afterwards to pag. 165. CHAP. X. OF Callings Some more honourable as are the head or eye in the body But not of more honour then burden and service Elegantly pressed by a Spanish Divine and in Sarpedons words to Glaâ—cus to pag. 169. The end and use of all Callings pag. 171. Touching the choice of Callings How to judge of their lawfulnesse To engage our faithfulnesse No excuse therefrom for the neglect of that one thing necessary Our abiding in our Callings and doing the works thereof How Nature teacheth therein The designing a Childe to a Calling Parents too early and preposterous therein 177. Parents may aime at the best and most honourable calling The Ministerie a ponderous work 178 But he must pitch upon the fittest In the choice thereof the Parent must follow Nature and look-up to God A CHILDES PATRIMONY Laid out upon the good Culture or tilling over his whole man CHAP. Wherein the Parents dutie doth consist and when it begins Of Infancy A Parents dutie begins where the childe had its beginning at the wombe There the Parents shall finde that which must busie their thoughts about it before they can imploy their hands And this work lyeth specially in considering Gods worke upon the childe and how their sinne hath defaced the same First they consider Gods worke and the operation of His hands how wonderfull it is and how curiously wrought in the secret parts of the earth so the Prophet calls the Wombe beâ—ause Psal 137. curious pieces are first wrought privately then being perfected are exposed to open view It was He that made the bones to grow we know not how then clothed them with flesh He that in the appointed time brought it to the wombe and gave strength to bring forth Here they acknowledge an omnipotent hand full of power towards them and as full of grace and they doe returne glory and praise both But here it ceaseth not Now they have their burden in their armes they see further matter of praise yet in that they see the childe in its right frame and feature not deformed or maimed Some have seene their childe so that they had little joy to looke upon it but through Gods gracious dispensation it is not so and for this they are thankfull And upon this consideration they will never mocke or disdaine nor suffer any they have in charge so to do a thing too many do any poore deformed creature in whom God hath doubly impaired His Image This they dare not do for it might have been their case as it was their desert Deformitie where ever we see it admits of nothing
It may soone learne some evill and that evill may grow past helping quickly Looke to the eye and eare all goes indifferently in as well as at the Mouth and you shall smell the Caske presently just what the liquor was Keep the inward and hid-man as you should do the outward neat and free from contagion and corruption as young as it is it may receive a bad tincture and that entreth easily now which will not depart without difficultie 5. I have heard a childe sweare before he could creepe Qui jâ—â— câ—m 〈◊〉 quid no◠〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Quin. Aug. Conâ—es lib. cap. 7. hereupon the heathen man hath asked what will such an one do when it is grown up I have seene a childe threaten yet it could not strike and scratch before it could hurt and pale with anger it was Augustines observation because another did partake of its milke And this corruption which so soone will shew it self is strangely furthered by a foolish practise Give me a blow childe and I will beat what hath offended This teacheth revenge betime that daring and presumptuous sinne for it disthrones God and puts the law out of office I say that practise leades unto it as we might easily observe if we would observe any thing Many thinke that the Time is not yet it is yet too soone to be so watchfull over the childe But by this neglect and putting off we suffer matter of trouble to be prepared We neglect not a sparke because it is little but we consider how high it flies and how apt things about it are to take fire There is no Lord Verul Essayes 21. 125. greater wisedome said that great Scholler then well to Time the Beginnings and on-sets of things Dangers are no more light if they once seeme light Our dutie is to looke to small things they leade to great Is custome no small matter said one who was short of a Christian Shorten the childe in its desires now specially if it be hasty and cry and will have it Then say some the childe must have it say I no but now it should not Shorten it here and the rather because it cryes if he have it give him it when it is still and quiet Correction rather when it cryes Let it not have its will by froward meanes Let it learne and finde that they are unprofitable and bootlesse A childe is all for the present but a Parents wisedome is to teach it to waite Much depends on it thereby a Parent may prevent eagernesse and shortnesse of spirit which else will grow up with the childe and prove a dangerous and tormenting evill We shall helpe this hereafter and soone enough say some Let the childe have its will now it is but a childe And be it so but that is the way to have a childe of it as long as it liveth As Sr. Thomas More said to his Lady after his manner wittily but truely They might as well say they will bend the childe hereafter when it is as stiffe as a stake though they neglect it at the present when it is as tender as a Sprig I will tell my observation I have knowne some children who might not be shortned least it should shorten their growth what they would have they should have for they were but children these have lived to shorten their Parents dayes and their own and to fill all with sorrow for afterwards they would not be shortned because they were not while they might a Siquid moves à principio move Hip. Hippocrates hath a good lesson and of good use here If thou wouldst remove an evill do it at the beginning As the spring of nature I meane saith the * Considerations touching the Church Lord Ver. applying it to the rectifying the politick body the spring of the yeere is the best time for purging and medicining naturall bodies so is the first spring of Child-hood the most proper season for the purging and rectifying our Children To come then to the maine instruction I intend here which is this As we observe Adams ruines appearing betimes in the childe so must we be as timely in the building against these ruines and repairing thereof It is a great point of wisedome as was said well to time our beginnings And this a parent will do if he shew but the same care about his childe as he doth about his house or ground if he observeth the least swelling or cracke in his wall or breach in his fence about his ground he is speedy and quicke in repaire thereof for it gaines him time and saves him a great deale of cost and labour both That may be done with a penny to day that will not hereafter with an hundred pound And that now mended in a day which will not hereafter in a yeere And that in a yeere which will not be done in our time So King IAMES so famous for his sayings pressed the speedy repaire of breaches in high-wayes We cannot borrow a speech that is more full I meane we cannot take a metaphor that is fitter to presse home this dutie it is low and descendeth to the lowest capacitie and teacheth the Parent to be quicke and expedite in repairing the ruines of old Adam in his young Childe for though it seemes as a frame but newly reared yet unlike other buildings it presently falls to decay and if our eyes and hands be as present to repaire the decayes thereof which is our dutie it would save us much time cost and labour Faults may be as easily corrected at the first as a twig may be bent but if they grow as the body doth they will be tough and stiffe as the body is they will knit and incorporate as the bones do and what is bred in the bone will not easily out See Cameâ—ar chap. 16. of the flesh as that sturdy beggar said A neglect toward the child now tends to such a desolation hereafter as the Prophet speaketh of Thy breach is great like the Sea who Lam. 2. 23. canheale thee There is nothing works more mischiefe and sorrow to a man I give my pen the more scope here because parents give and take so much libertie then doth that which he mindeth least to prevent and that is the beginnings and first growth of evill There are little Motions thereof at the first but they grow as Rivers do greater and greater the further off from the spring The first risings are the more to be looked unto because there is most danger in them and we have least care over them though yet they will quickly over-cast the soule Therefore that we do at the beginning Dimidium â—acti qui bâ—ne coepâ—t â—abet is more then halfe we do afterwards saith the Poet and he speaks not without great reason so forcible continually is the beginning and so connexed to the sequel by the nature of a precedent cause The Bishop hath a good meditation upon the sight of a bladder
will soone be most severe and violent in their correction as if they had that absolute and universall power over their children which once the Parent had and much power yet they have all the craft is in the wise using of it But they doe not use it well now in their passion they will miscall the childe strangely and strike they know not where and kick too I set down what mine own eyes and eares have told me They do punish perhaps not Laudabaâ— se non sine causa sed fine modo without cause as was said of one in another case but without all measure as if they were not children but slaves And then as was said in the other extreame we may reade without booke that no good can be done but much hurt rather while the Parent is so eager upon the childe it is not then teachable not counsellable for as was said feare betrayeth all its succours nor is the Parent in a fit case to teach or counsell it for what can be expected from a man in a frensie Anger is fitly called so A Parent carryed in a passion cannot mingle his corrections with instructions and where that mixture is not there is no Discipline for that is true Discipline when the childe smarts from the hand and Siâ— ul sunt â—aec duo conjungeÌ„da Argutio castigatio Inutilis est castigatio ubi verba silent verbera saeviunt unde rectè vocatur castigatio Disciplina quâ delinquens unâ— dolet discit Bright on the Revelat. chap. 3. vers 19. p. 72. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Not possible to put out fire with fire Chrysost in Gen. 32. hom 89. learnes from the tongue We must first convince a childe of his fault and then punish the same if the fault deserve it These two must ever goe together correction and instruction Correction is to no purpose where words are silent and stripes outragious Correction is truly called Discipline because the dilinquent smarts and learnes both together This then is my conclusion wherein I shall a little enlarge my selfe That roughnesse and fiercenesse doth not help in the rooting out of evill though there it doth best but much hurt it doth in the planting in of good there it lets exceedingly It furthers not in the unrooting of evill but rather sets the work back and roots it more in That is the first thing I shall make cleare 1. Man is a noble creature and lord-like of a good house as we say though falne into decay But this remainder or relique there is yet of his noblenesse you may easily lead him when you cannot drag him you may perswade when you cannot force and the more force the lesse good Mildnesse and Meeknesse and sweetnesse in carriage wins much 1. Voluntas cogi non vult doceri expeâ—it A soft tongue breaketh the bone Prov. 25. vers 12. 15. to be observed both even sometimes with a crooked disposition when as roughnesse hardneth It is not the way to plucke down a stubborn heart nor to fetch out a lye though in these cases a Parent must be very active and if he spares his childe he kills it It is a great fault in parents saith one for fear of taking down of the childs spirits not to take down its pride and get victory over its affections whereas a proud unbroken heart raiseth us more trouble then all the world beside And if it be not taken down betimes it will be broken to pieces by great troubles in age I shall consider this evill and some others in fit place now in this place I am removing that which hindreth The parent is bound to teach the childe how to bear the Lam. 3. 27. yoke from its youth This duty the parent is engaged upon But the parent must use a great deale of discretion in the putting on this yoke The parent must not stand in a menaâ—ing posture before the childe as ready to strike as to speak and giving discouraging words too When we would back our Colt or break a skittish Heifer to the yoke the comparison holds well we do not hold the yoke in one hand and a whip in the other but we do before them as we know the manner is else there would be much ado in putting on the yoke and in breaking or backing the Colt they would be both more wilde and lesse serviceable It is much so with children if our carriage be not ordered with discretion before them we may make them like those beasts more unruly and perhaps all alike or if they learn any thing by such froward handling it will be frowardnesse When we would work upon a childe our carriage before it should be quiet and as still as might be just in the same posture that a man stands in before the live mark which he would hit he doth not hoot and hollow when he takes his ayme for then he would fright away the game by his rudenesse but so he stands as we well know the manner like one who means to hit the mark Our ayme is the good of the childe we must look well to our deportment before it else we may fright away our game There are some natures saith Clem. Alex. like yron hardly flexible but by the Pad li. 2. c. 10. pag. 97 fire hammer and anvill that is as he expounds it by reproofs threats blows and all this may be done and must if done well in termes of mildnesse and pleasing accent with force of reason rather then hardnesse of blows and if it might be in the spirit of meeknesse remembring still Mr. Tindals Letter Martyr pa. 987. words As lowlinesse of heart shall make you high with God even so meeknesse of words shall make you sink into the hearts of men I have observed a childe more insolent and stout under a rigorous and rough hand but calmed after the heat was over on both sides with a milde gentle perswasion that workt force and violence hardens when as a loving and gentle perswasion wins upon the heart thaws and melts the same Harshnesse loseth the heart and alienates the affections 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Hom. 26. in 1. Cor. 11. but mildnesse gaineth all Proud flesh as experience tells us is taken down by lenitives the most gentle and soft applications So the pride and roughnesse of our nature is subdued by lenitives and not by another roughnesse as the Father speaketh elegantly We may note too the more rigour the childe apprehends and the more the rod is threatned which is the onely thing a childe feares the more the childe will hide it self like that unwise man who standing at the entry of an unlawfull but too much frequented place and finding himself eyed by a friend whom he would not should see him there shrunk in his head and in he went If a man had â— Non sum adeò aetatum imprudens ut instandam teneris protinus acerbè
fire take his chamber he is fewell for it such sad examples we have known our eyes have seene The destroying angel but one of Gods guard hath set forth in the night and before the morning hath executed his commission our adversary wil do that to us sleeping which he cannot waking many have gone to bed well and before morning have made their appearance before the Iudge of the whole world and then as they lay down so they rise up and so provided or so destitute there is no time for provision then when we are summoned to appeare Naturally all things seeme black unto us in the night and if we see no danger nor see any reason of danger yet our fancy can create dangers unto us The Lords second comming is often mentioned in the sacred Scripture and as often in the night which defines not the time but shews the manner of His coming As a thiefe in the night as a snare suddenly when by the most least expected All these considerations should teach us to watch over our hearts and to take a strict account of our wayes at our lying down and to lift up our eyes to the Keeper of Israel that His eyes may be upon us for good appointing a sure Guard about us in the night As we cannot tell what a day may bring forth so nor can we know how our feares may increase before the next morning we cannot no not the wisest of men look forward a few houres to tell what may happen before the day-dawn a Imminentium nescius Tac. de Paeto 15. 2. which should engage our heart to Him who changeth not And that it may be so we must remember our prayers and our praises these being performed in a right manner do secure us touching protection in the night prayer will help us against carefulnesse notwithstanding our dangers are so many as we have heard it will suck out the heart of our feares and sorrows b Preces hirudo curarum Mâ—lanch so as they shall not hurt us nor dismay us but that we may lye down in peace But then we must remember what prayer is It is saith Luther The unutterable groaning of those who despaire of any strength in themselves c Precatio est gemitus inenarrabilis desperantium dese Luther in Gen. It is not every prayer which secureth us there is a prayer which more provoketh uttered only from the lips in such a manner as would not be accepted before our Governour d Melac 1. 8. We must remember our tribute of praise too great reason That we should praise the Lord who hath yet spared us in the night of our ignorance when we could not enquire after Him and in the night of our vanitie when we cared not for Him and in the night of our sorrow when our spirits were overwhelmed that we remembred Him not Thus hath He patiently spared and hitherto watched over us to shew mercy when we were secure and carelesse in our duties towards Him which engageth us the more to give the more praise to His name And so much may teach us to keep sound wisdome and discretion that when thou lyest down thy sleep may be sweet so I have done with those foure seasons in the day so seasonable for instruction CHAP. IX An ordinary and great neglect in point of education The ground of that neglect For the helping thereof the Parent is advised to fix upon two conclusions what they are Of the Schoole and School-master and the way he must go THus farre as my method or way led me touching the good culture of the childe It prescribes a way to no man no matter what way he takes so he doth his dutie and so the work be done and the end attained which is The tilling over the whole man by the well improving of this seed-time A season very much neglected willingly or ignorantly let slip and passed-over by the most Parents too many make but a waste of those so precious houres as was said Preface pag. 20. and as it were an emptie space which yet being improved would serve to fill and store up that which would be of more use to promote the childe then the Parents purse though therein he puts more confidence Thus I say it is for the most part and we cannot easily believe how much the Family the Common-wealth the Church how much all suffer for this neglect herein And which is the losse indeed The higher the persons are and the more promising their parts the more for the most part they are neglected in point of culture and due manurance It was Mr. Calvins complaint f Hoc erat summâ— dâ—cus nobilibus nibil proâ—sus tenere doctriâ—â— gloriati sunt etiam nobiles hoc nomine quod 〈◊〉 essent clerici quemadmodum vulgò loquunâ—â—â— c. cal in Dan. cap. 1. The honourable of the land account it a point of their honour that they have no learning none at all And in this they glory that they are no Clarks as the usuall saying is Charron relates for it is out of another to the same purpose That Noblemens children learn nothing by order and rule but to manage the Horse he gives the reason Because the Horse is neither Flatterer nor Courtier he will cast a Noble-man as well as a meaner person g Of wisdome first book chap. 49. pag. 203. Our learned Perkins observed the like in his time Mr. Ascham a worthy Tutour to an excellent Princesse h As the Rose the Queen of flowers so she the Queen of Queens and of Kings also for Religion pietie magnanimitie justice you cannot question what Rose I mean sith so she was by desart and descent Lord Cooke Preface to Littleton tells us as much and it is very notable which he tells us this it is Some of our young Gentlemen count it their shame to be counted learned and perchance they count it their shame to be counted honest also For I heare say they meddle as little with the one as with the other A marvellous case that Gentlemen should be so ashamed of good learning and never a whit ashamed of ill manners such do lay for them that the Gentlemen of France do so But that is not so many good Schollers there young and Gentlemen indeed do prove that to be most false Though yet we must grant that some in France who will needs be Gentlemen whether men will or no and have more Gentleship in their hat then in their head be at deadly feude with both learning and honesty So he in his Grammar-Schoole page 18. five pages before * Page 13. The same goodman doth cast up the reckoning for these young Gentlemen that at the foot of the account they may read the issuâ— and product of their cast-away houres and much abused good parts thus he saith The fault is in your selves ye Noble-mens sonnes and therefore ye deserve the greater blame that
return the childe back again So the Parent aimes at and desires the best and most excellent way but he looks to the childes fitnesse that way he will proportion his childes place to the portion of his childes gifts that the childe may not stretch k 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 2. Cor. 10. 14. himself beyond his proportion not Tenter himself beyond his scantling If a low gift then to a low place a doore-keeper he is content to make his childe that is he is content to set him in the lowest rank or form and he sees comfort enough therein so the childe prove faithfull It is not the height of a calling that commends a man or that advanceth Gods glory but a faithfull discharge of the calling how low soever l Nullum tam sordidum ac vile opus in quo modò vacationi tuae pareas quod non coram Deo resplendeal pretiosissimum habeatur Cal. Inst lib. 3. c. 10. sect 6. Therefore a wise Parent would rather his childe should be an honest and faithfull scullion serving in the kitchin then a proud Mistresse serving her lusts rather a good servant then a bad Master rather a wise childe rich in graces though sitting in a low place then a foolish childe sitting in great dignitie He would rather have his childe a Prince so we are all by profession Sonnes of a great King m 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Isid Pelus lib. 2. ep 147. that is one that can wisely command it self ruling those that are others masters though it be as low as the earth and going on foot then a servant to his lusts though on horseback 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys in 1. Cor. 1. Hom. 5. and as much honours done to him as is to him whom the king will honour This the minde of a wise parent but few there be such and therefore few of that minde Let no man be ashamed of his trade how mean soever if it be lawfull but let the idle person be ashamed who perhaps hath many servants attending upon him and imployed about him when in the mean time the Master doth nothing let such an idle person be ashamed The rule is and the summe of all A wise parent contrary to the custome of the world doth dedicate unto the Lord The male in his flock that is the first and best of his strength and glory but designeth not his childe further then he discerneth an invisible hand guiding the childe and enabling him for service And so much that the Parent may attend his seed-time not slacking his hand then the childe shall be fitted for some work but not designed to any till the Parent can discerne the childes fitnesse and a secret hand pointing him thitherward whereto the Parent earnestly looks and whereon he faithfully depends not troubling himself about Gods charge which is to provide and protect but his own dutie which is to give all diligence yet without carefulnesse and so the Parent doth his duty and teacheth the childe his that both Parent and childe may rejoyce together FINIS THE CHILDES PORTION The second Part Respecting a Childe grown up TREATING OF The love of Parents to their Children The gratitude due to them from their Children The severall Ages of Man Of Riches and Poverty And of the whole dutie of man toward God and one to another By E. W. LONDON Printed for Tho Underhill and are to be sold at his Shop at the Signe of the Bible in Woodstreet 1649. TO THE MVCH HONOVRED WIDOW IOANE CROKER a Widow Indeed and to the Right Worshipfull her Lady-Daughter the Lady MARY PYE. Right worshipfull THis in your hand speaks to a Childe but a Childe growne up no Childe in understanding Such are mine yet being yet in their Childish yeers So it might have staied a longer Time but I knew not how short my Time might be and I made all speed when I was upon it to leave such instructions as might be of use to them when I could not and to make them Legible They should have been more contracted for so I intended at the first but a sheete or two and so to have spoken much in a Little but so I could not doe nor was it proper if I could for then it had been of little use to those unto whose hands it is more specially commended It had gone forth alone without a former Part if so it could have been thought entyre But so it was not thought It was specially intended but the use of generall concernment not so particularly any ones but that it doth concerne every one that will reade it It leads on a Childe through all the Stages of his life which are implied here supplied in the First Part and through the great occurrences we meete with therein And for our clearer passage through them all It supplieth such Doctrines which I may call as the Apostle doth Strong meat because none but a Man-Childe can digest them It supposeth a Daughter rather as there was reason and so goeth on in that Gender and in strict proprietie of speech for matter and forme both for both were to be observed for Gender-sake but yet whether sonne or daughter it respecteth both alike for its Scope and white is To improove the soule which hath no Sex The margent is sometimes yet as sparingly as might be charged with a Barbarous Language such is that to you and me which wee understand not a 1 Cor. 14. 11. One reason was That it might both please and profit more then one The other That the line might be kept free and not a word there to hinder the understanding for I considered still all along whom I would teach to profit and therefore if there be any word in the line not so familiar in our Language it hath alwaies a second to explaine it I have often thought of the Apostles words and very observable they are If ye speake with Tongues to the unlearned will they not say ye are mad b vers 23. Truely I affect not words but matter and such words too if my heart deceive me not which may yeeld the most profit That I have Intituled this yours there was a kinde of inforcement which hath not alwaies good reason to strengthen it but yet as it falls out I have reason too Things of this nature are not thought comely nor well addressed to goe abroad unlesse they carrie some persons In front to whom they are specially Devoted so here I was inforced And that I made choice of the Mother and the Daughter I had reason for that which ye shall heare and how reasonable it is of that ye shall judge We make choice of such persons to whom our personall relations are strongest In this then I am sure I am right and have right good reason And of those also whom we most honour I am right here too and by the same reason for there are no two in the world for these
yeers for though a Childe is made a patterne yet we must not be like it in understanding When we were Children we did and we spake as children and all was comely but when we out-grew Childe-hood we out-grew Childishnesse a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Clem. Alex Strom. p. 51. We had need of Milke and not of Strong Meate for we were as Babes unskilfull in the Word of Righteousnesse but now our stature is increased it were a sname that we should be Dwarfes in the Inward man the man indeed They can have no Apologie or excuse for themselves who are growne up to full yeers yet have a Childes understanding b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Tom. 4. quod nemo laedit c. I suppose thee then of full Age even such an one as I would have thee who by reason of use hast thy Senses exercised to discerne both good and evill c Heb. 5. 13. 14. Childehood and youth are the Parents seed-time when they must look to their dutie The after-Age is the season of fruit when Parents expect an harvest of their paines Children then must look to their dutie that Parent and Childe may rejoyce together But alas how many Parents are deceived here even they who have not neglected their seede-time They think upon the Instructions they have given the Intreaties they have used what my son and the sonne of my wombe and what the sonne of my vowes d Prov. 3 l. 2. These they think on but how many are quite lost how few or none take what may make for ease and delight that Children learne quickly so will the Horse the Mule the Asse and the Oxe put any of these to the Wheele they will quickly finde out the number of their Rounds and never after can be deceived in their Account e Charron of wisdome This is nature still and her field is fruitfull But no Earth there is that requires more labour and is longer before it yeelds fruit then Mans nature so decaied and wilde it is growne and so rightly compared to the Sluggards field as the person is to a Colt an Asse-Colt a wilde Asse-Colt The Philosopher reasons this case very pithily f Plut. de amore prolis pag. 157. He that plants a Vineyard quickly eates the Grape So in other graines some few Moneths bring them to our hands againe and the fruite of our labours to our Eie and Taste Oxen Horses Sheepe c. they quickly serve for our use and much service they doe in Lieu and recompense for a little cost But Mans education is full of labour and cost The increase is slow the fruite and comfort farre off not within Eieshot perhaps the Parent may kenne this comfort perhaps he may live to see it and to rejoyce perhaps also he may discerne little hope he may live to heare of the miscarriage of his Childe and see that which like a back winde will put him onwards towards the pit hastening him with sorrow to the grave But In hope the Parent must doe his dutie herein also like the husbandman whose worke is never ended something he findes still that requires his eie and must command his hand or like the Painter who cannot withdraw the hand from the table before he sees his work fully perfected But herein the Parent and the Painter are very like In all his pictures saith Pliny more is to be understood then is expressed although the skill be great yet there is alwaies more in the minde In omnibus ejus operibus intelligitur plus semper quà m pingitur cum Ars summe sit Ingenium tamâ—n ultra Artem est Pliny l. 35. 10. of the Workman then the pensill could expresse to the eie of the beholder His Ingeny or Idea the proportion he hath framed in his mind is beyond his Art It is so with a Parent his care may be great and his skill somewhat and the Childe may observe both and much of both But the Childe must understand more then it can see and yet understand it cannot the yearning of the Spirit the turnings of the bowels the desire of the heart towards the Childe It is the Parent he and she onely who know the Heart of a Parent And this as one speaks very feelingly h Chrysolog de Archâ—sy Serm 33. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Hec. to her son Hector Hom. Iliad 22. p. 814. Should work very much with the Childe what Care and Cost and Labour and Feare he hath put his Parents too But alas Children consider it not for if so they would give all diligence to render back their so due service But if all this work not upon the Childe it should work upon the Parent very much To consider What a barren wild nature his Childe hath taken from him Barren to every seed of Instruction and which is the griefe but not the wonder the more precious the seed is the more barren the nature is unto it the more hard to receive it And yet if this precious seed be not received and the nature of the soyle changed by it Man will sinke lower into misery then a Beast can And in ordinary matters here a Beast may as farre exceed him as he thinks he exceeds a Beast Take a man in his pure Naturalls and we finde it ordinary That a Beast exceeds him which might be further exemplified For many have written very usefully thereof I will take that which I know is of most use and this it is Defects of Reason in Beasts is supplyed with exquisituesse of sense saith Basil i Hex hom 9. pag. 100. Nay there is something more then sense in Beasts and then vegitation in Plants saith he in the same place And so saith the learned Geographer k II. Book cap. 4. sect 6. pag. 229. in his History of the world It is not sense alone which teacheth beasts at first sight and without experience or instruction to flye from the enemies of their Lives Seeing that Bulls and Horses appeare to the sense more fearefull and terrible then the least kinde of Dogs And yet the Hare and Deere feedeth by the one and flyeth from the other yea though by them never seene before and that as soone as they fall from their Dam's c. The truth is and there is great use of it for it tells us what a blow or wound we received by our fall Beasts have many excellencies and much perfection of outward sense And which is of use indeed to hide pride from our eyes they can make good improvement thereof for their safetie and some of them for their Lords-service Only man in his pure naturalls is herein below the beasts as brutish as the Swine l 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Clem. Alex. Protrep p. 44. Fishes cannot be tamed nor taught Basel Hex Hom. 7. which is the most brutish creature As unteachable as a fish and that is a creature which you can neither tame nor
thou maist be very good upright in thy wayes hot fervent in prayer zealous of good workes else better thou wert cold key cold for a middle Temper as it is most deadly so it is most abominable Thus as a learned man writeth to his great friend I could have written unto thee things more pleasing nothing more profitable But what I have or shall write nothing will profit unlesse the feare of God awes the heart and inclines it unlesse He teacheth inwardly words cannot outwardly Waxe takes an easie impression from Iron Iron not so but very hardly an Adamant takes no impression at all by all our force because of its hardnesse so Nazianzen Epist 130. And such hearts we have understand but so much and it will humble thee it will hide pride from thine eyes and then thy eare is prepared and heart too And so much as a preparative to the eare but the Lord bore it and to incline thy heart to understanding but the Lord open it This is all the parent can doe and his maine duty at this point even to spread this peremptory bent of nature as was a Preface to the first part said before the Lord whose worke it is to turne the heart and to open the eare to instruction which now followes THE CONTENTS CHAP. I. GOds Goodnesse in framing us in the wombe in bringing us thence ascribed to His hand though yet the sore pain of childe birth no whit lesse engageth the Childe to the Mother how great that engagement is to pag. 5. duty to the Father enforced by a pressing-speech out of Luther and from two very great examples who brake that sacred bond and were remarkably punished to page 9. Gods patience in sparing and reprieving us His goodnesse in ranking us in the highest forme of His Creatures here below how that engageth and teacheth to page 13. His mercy in giving us all our parts or members and proportion in all a great engagement A recognition thereof and use therefrom to page 20. CHAP. II. OVr frame of spirit how depraved A glasse to look our selves in What seeds of corruption within us how it humbleth those that can look into it to p. 24. How to bottom our corruptions where its strong hold how we may fathom the depth of miserie The law of the leper to pag. 28. The love of the Father and the obedience of the sonne how figured out unto us to page 30. CHAP. III. BAptisme Outward Inward The secret work of the Spirit to page 31. We must not pry into this His secret if that work be not wrought Luthers counsell is to be followed Gods will holy and just Man willeth his own destruction to page 34. at this point reade the first part page 139. c. Lips de Constant lib. 1. cap. 20 c. lib. 2. cap. 15 c. Cent. 1. Ep. 58. Two things figured in Baptisme 35. 36. Our engagement from both How sacred our Christian name how strait our covenant 37. A feeling expression we are members and mighty to engage us that we are sons daughters heirs Solders who our enemies what their strength 39. A paradox against all conceit and reason Basil's complaint 40. A great question proposed and usefully answered 43. who the great tempters We must keep our watch strong 44. Our covenant Gods covenant Christ His obedience hath not abated an ace of ours Gods law broad and perfect The use a true Christian makes thereof One Root of grace and but one fruit to page 47. CHAP. IIII. THe root of sinne remaineth How the branches are kept from spreading 48. § 1. Pride why called the womans sinne whence it is that clothes haire c. do pusse up Whence we may fetch help against this â—ympany or swelling disease What considerations most prevalent and abasing from page 48 to page 61. applyed to the childe The grace of humilitie to page 64. § 2. Our darling sinne why so called what a snare it is and how it becomes so How we may keep our foot from being taken in that snare Beginnings must be withstood Chrysostome's words very notable thereupon to page 67. Occasions must be prevented a watch kept over our senses Over our fancy That it may be ordered and must else all will be out of order to pa 73. What may awe our thoughts 74. What the soveraigne help next to the awfulnesse of Gods eye to page 79. the summe and use thereof to the Childe to page 81. § 3. Of profit how unsatisfying what doth satisfie indeed to page 82. § 4. Anger What it is whence it ariseth who most subject unto it How we may be armed against this passion and overcome it Chrysostome's note notable and Melanchthons practise Gods patience towards us mighty to perswade us thereto Abraham and Isaac how meek and yeelding this way of the tongue from page 83. to page 92. § 5. Of Censure Charities rule her mantle how largely we may stretch it according to Chrysostomes and Mr Perkins rule A rule in Herauldry of great use to pag. 95. § 6. Affections sometimes the stormes of the soul sometimes the sweet gale or winde thereof like moist elements Who boundeth them Considerations of use to moderate our feare sorrow c. to page 100. § 7. Of Discontent how unreasonable it is Considerations teaching us content in present things Chrysostomes short story very notable so are the Philosophers words with Mr Bradfords concluded to page 107. CHAP. V. THe Sacrament of the Lords Supper Graces required in those who present themselves at that Table If wanting what is to be done Note Chrysostomes words and Dr Luthers at that point The close of the chapter very notable so is Mr Raynolds meditation to page 121. CHAP. VI. MAriage A solemne ordinance I. Our well and orderly entring into that honourable estate Abuses very many and great touching that point in young and old Whose abuse most notorious and how justly punishable c. to page 125. Our rule in treating about a match application thereof to the childe A childe no match-maker A notable story to that purpose to page 127. The duty of every single person threefold of infinite concernment to page 131. The Parents or overseers duty at this point five-fold The last of the five least thought on and worse answered but of infinite concernment page 138. II. Our well ordering our selves in that state as becometh the honour thereof Affections at the first strongest how to guide their streame in a right channell sinne hath put all out of frame Chrysostomes note notable Page 140. Good to count our Cost and forecast trouble Page 142. Equality inequality hard to draw even The man the leading hand how he stands charged the weight of the charge If the head be surcharged or so headlesse it cannot lead or drawâ—s backward what the wives duty The head hath a head a grave consideration 148. A consideration which may helpe to make up all breaches and silence all differences betwixt man and
some things they have concealed which should have been made known and some things have been presented under a colour and shew and all to compasse a poore end some wealth and repute amongst neighbours but things have proved contrary they have embraced a shadow and lost the substance They preferred a poore accessory before the principall and so have been paid with winde with counterfeit coyne instead of currant I could instance in some now widows and widowers who at this present do smart openly and in the eyes of others for their reservednesse their secret and cunning contrivance and imposture this way nor could it be otherwise for it is not Gods way we cannot expect a blessing in it What I compasse by guile and cunning doth but serve to increase my after discomfort A foundation i 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Piâ—d Nem. od â— layed in unrighteousnesse will be like a tottering wall at the best but like a house built upon the sands and tending to ruine And therefore this should be a warning to those who have any hand in this so weightie and fundamentall a businesse the issues whereof are so great And hence follows their rule which is this Look wherein a man expects the greatest good and his expectation is larger in no other thing then in marriage being most ancient important fundamentall to a sweet societie of life and a great number of mutuall obligations and profitable offices flowing thence therein now in a businesse of so high concernment Let a man proceed in the greatest evidence and clearenesse of dealing not swerving one jot or haires breadth from the wayes of sinceritie and truth This is the direction and I would have it evidence my minde when my tongue cannot And now childe to make application of all to thy self and way for thy better provision considering the premises That marriage is a businesse of such and so great consequence and concernment That the band is so strait that nothing can dissolve it but death or that which is to be punished with death that if there be an errour at first it is hardly recoverable afterwards considering all this I that might command thee do intreat thee by that worthy name called upon Thee and thy sacred vow then given By all the engagements of a childe such be all thy parents travell for thy good By all the comforts thou canst hereafter look for Be well advised first before thou doest proceed in this great businesse which requires such and so much deliberation Be I say well advised first By whom not by thine own heart aske not counsell there it may be and is in such cases strangely corrupted nor by thine own eare there is prejudice nor eye that is blinded nor affections they are troubled and can give no certain answer Nor by thy self for now thou art not thy self Thy judgement and reason are quite steeped in affection k Affectiones facile faciunt opiniones Yeeld thy self wholly up to those who have the oversight and charge over thee that is my charge There leave this great businesse and submit Here shew thy obedience as thou lookest to prosper All thy deportment from the yeares of understanding and onward thy gesture thy words thy actions should all at all times sweetly and child-like speake out and shew forth thy dutie to due observance of thy parents So as all that look on thee may heare and reade it in thy whole carriage and all short enough to answer thy debt But here is the principall businesse wherein they that have the charge over thee look to be observed And as thou doest observe them here so look to prosper I will read a short story here wherein we shall see a great example of a childes dutie at this point The greater the person was the greater the example is yet not so great the person in respect of place and dignitie but we are greater then he in respect of name and profession And therefore if we Christians fall short at this point our disobedience will be as the more notorious so the more abominable Xenophon relates the story thus Instit Cyri. lib. 8. p. 665. Cyaxares would have espoused his daughter to Cyrus the great offers him a portion answerable A large countrey for her Dowry great gifts besides Cyrus thus nobly makes answer I like the Stock well I cannot dislike the Branch The portion pleaseth and proportion both all lovely and desireable But Sir I am a Childe and must deport my self herein Childe-like A Childe is no match-maker unlesse in childish and triviall things things of a low nature and of but ordinary concernment A Childe must not treat at such a point as this I have Sir a Father and a Mother both as they will treat and conclude so shall I determine and resolve you This is the example and see the old discipline and awfull respect of children in old Time to Fathers and Governours And but equall it is and very reasonable that so it should be for if the Parents will determine nothing till they aske the maide l Gen. 24. 57 58. whereof afterwards how unchild like were it to say no more for the maide to say or do any thing till she aske the Parents Esau was a bad Childe of a good Father and he shewed saith Chrysostome his untowardnesse betimes for he Ibid. matched himself without his Parents coÌ„sent And that we may know how ill such matching thrives It is upon everlasting record That they were a griefe of minde unto Isaac and Rebecca m Gen. 26. 35. And certainly if we grieve the hearts of our good Parents we do in so doing block up our own way to our desired blessing so then the best counsell I can give and the best provision a childe can make against this great and solemne time and for the better successe in this great businesse is to look carefully first to its single charge And then to leave the rest to them whose charge it is and have taken upon them faithfully to discharge the same The first is a Childes principall dutie This ruling of one well The discharging of that little great-Cure so as a man souls have no sexes as was said may quit himself like himself in that single account This I say is every single Bodies principall dutie Therefore of this first 1. We are by nature ambitious of rule like the Bramble the more unfit to govern others the more desirous We love to be in authoritie and have others under us before we have got command over our selves We would take upon us the charge of more souls so doth He or She that enter into this condition and they must be accountable for them too the greatest cure in the world before we know how weightie the charge of one soul is Marriage is an honourable estate and if well ordered there is nothing in the world more beautifull And that it may be so we must be well ordered before-hand
themselves with haste and proved like proffered wares of the least esteem quite disregarded They must wait on God here in whose hand leadeth into every good way and gives a blessing in it And they must wait His time also which is a chief point of their duty 3. The younger folk must leave this weighty businesse in their hands who are deputed under God to take the cure over them and the care thereof And this if the single parties shall do they have then discharged their double duty before mentioned which consisted first in the well ordering themselves and so discharging their single cure And then in leaving the rest for the changing of their condition wholly in their hands whose charge it is and whose duty also it is faithfully to discharge the same and now followeth for it is necessary I should adde something thereof I mean touching the overseers duty They that are overseers of the childe Parents or deputed so to be must be earnest with the Lord at this point for it is a main duty house and riches are the inheritance of Fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord p Prov. 19. 14. Parents may give a good portion but a good wife is Gods gift a great mercy and greatly to be desired This is their first duty The next is 2. They must choose the man we regard not sexes I say a man not a boy not a girle before the face can discern the sex parents must avoid the inconveniency of haste in so important a businesse which helps to fill the world with beggery and impotency q See Censure of Travell sect 7. And they must choose the man I say the man not his money It is well where both meet and then they may choose and wink but that is not very ordinary and therefore they must be the the more watchfull so where there is a flush of money an high-tide of prosperitie there is commonly a low ebbe of better matters which indeed denominates a man prosperitie is a great snare the greater when the young heire begins at the top first at the same peg or height where the Father ended and it is many times accompanied with some idlenesse of brain * Ad omne voâ—um fâ—â—ente â—ortuna 〈◊〉 ocium Quint. Dec. 3. p. 32. I need not feare this but yet I say in way of caution choose the man and then the money when I say a man I mean such an one who can finde meat in a wildernesse who carries his riches about him * Cic. Parad. Sen. ep 9. when he is stript of his money who hath his chief comelinesse within and yet not uncomely without such a man they should choose If this man be wanting the childe shall not set her eyes upon him the parent must not If some money be wanting no great want it is easily supplied it is certain if other things answer some want that way I mean in money is not of sufficient value to hold off or make a breach As it was said of the talents The Lord is able to give much more then this r 2 Chron. 25. 9. But if goodnesse be wanting it is a greater want then is in a light piece of gold which in a great paiment will passe not withstanding as many great wants passe currant where there is a great portion Parents must shew their wisdome here else they fail in a prime duty They must choose goodnesse and not account it an accessary Better want the money then the man Å¿ See Chrysost of the choice of a wife Ser. 28. Tom. 5. Non sum ex insano amatorum genere qui vitia etiam exosculantur ubi semel formâ capti sunt Haec sola est quae me delectat pulchritudo c. calv ep 16. Religion t Mâ— Bolton direct p. 236. and the feare of God as it it is generally the foundation of all humane felicitie so must it in speciall be accounted the ground of all comfort and blisse which man and wife desire to finde in the enjoying each of other There was never any gold or great friends any beauty or outward bravery which tied truly fast and comfortably any marriage knot It is onely the golden link and noble tie of Christianitie and grace which hath the power and priviledge to make so deare a bond lovely and everlasting Mendax est omnis secularis amicitia quae divini timoris vinculo non est ligata Chrys Hom. 24. in Matth. â—atin tantum which can season and strengthen that nearest inseparable societie with true sweetnesse and immortalitie So farre Mr Bolton and so much touching the Over-seers duty in making the choice 3. There is another main point That they give the childe leave to approve of the choice As the Childe offers the greatest affront to Parents in giving her consent without their leave and privitie so shall Parents offer the greatest wrong to the childe that can be thought of in concluding a match without or against the childes allowance we have an old example hereof and a standing rule We will call c Gen. 24. 57. 58. To use constraint and force here is the greatest piece of injurie that is done in the world yet so injurious have some Parents been and so they have compassed their end some estate for their childe but quite forfeited the comfort of estate and childe both The parents care was for that the childe least cares for and neglected the main the childes liking of the choice This is most injurious dealing nay more not unlike his and that was most inhumane who joyned the living to the dead y Vâ—g AEâ— 7. Smithfield and other places have told us the sad sequells of such matches So then this is the next thing belonging to the Parents charge They will not proceed without the childes consent But it will be said as many times it falls out The Parents have made a fit choice and have asked the childes consent but cannot have it nor any reason except a womans reason why it refuseth And indeed so it may well be for the elder sort cannot alwayes give reason of what they like or dislike and when they can their reason is unreasonable in such cases no better then folly See first part chap. 4. 13. 4. P. 55. much lesse sometimes can the younger And if so then the childe must be drawn on by all faire meanes and the plainest Arguments such as true wisdome and discretion can suggest whereby to win upon it and sweetly to incline the will And if after some time of tryall they cannot by such faire means prevail then the worl is wide enough they must make another choice they must not use force oh by no means I think now of the sad and heavy consequences herefrom So long as my childe hath a principle of life to carry her to Church let her not be borne thither as upon others shoulders for she matches for her self principally
thy much honoured friend before spoken of Thou doest solemnly entreat his company that day thy preparations are answerable to that respect thou bearest unto him such company such cheer such a cōmunion as is every way sutable After this manner invite Christ but remembring still both Christ and his Disciples they stand close together and can never be parted Object 2 But if Christ come in our myrth must go out He marres all our musick That is the common objection He is too strict and sowre a guest for such a time so it is said or so it is thought Why Answ It is certain there is a Christian libertie to be taken at this time even by Christ's own allowance If ever mirth be comely then at a wedding dinner if ever good cheer be in season and some exceeding that way both in mirth and cheer then at such a feast it is not properly a feast without it not a marriage feast I am sure And such a feast it is even by allowance from our great Master of that feast But now we must take this along with us 1. There is great cause that we should watch over our selves and over our affections now more specially because where God gives a libertie there man is prone to make an excesse 2. We must account that a mad mirth which grieves the Spirit of God 3. That to be a most unkinde requitall of the Lord where He hath made our table like a full pasture there to exalt the heart or to lift up the heel And all this we are apt to do therefore must we be the more circumspect and watchfull over our selves at such a time that things may be done decently and in order that all may shew forth Christian honestie prudence wisdome modestie And this because that day having an influence into all our following dayes may be so disposed and passed over that it may be a pledge of a blessing upon all the rest And this is according to Gods holy ordinance And so much Childe for thy better provision and preparation for this great and solemne businesse Of convenient entrance into this honourable estate wherein I have discovered the great abuses and disorders about it for thy better warning and the more to engage thee to thy duty which was twofold The well looking to thy self thy single cure and then looking up to God leaving the rest in their hands who are thy parents or deputed so to be What their charge is we have heard even their fivefold duty It follows now that I adde something touching our Christian-like managing this worthy and honourable estate as befitteth the honour of it whereon depends our comfortable living in it 2. We suppose now that affections at the first meeting II. §. are strongest like a spring-tide there are some certain flushes as I may say of Love and Ioy from the present enjoyment each of other Here then is required more wisdome then we have to moderate our affections now in their hot fit and to temper them with knowledge and discretion For this we must know that there is as much difference betwixt these sudden flushes of love and a well grounded affection as is betwixt the burning heat of a feaver and the naturall heat of a sound and healthy body It is of soveraigne use to help us in the guiding the stream of our affections in the right channell to consider Who it is that makes the Creature so suitable lovely and beautifull who it is I say that adorns and beautifies both the Bridegroom and the Bride To forget this seems as unreasonable as it is impossible for a maid to forget her ornament or a Bride her attire f Jer. 2. 32. And if it be remembred it will beget some reciprocation both of affection and duty to Him from whom we have all our comelinesse Ezek. 16. 14. and the stream of our affections will run right We shall greatly rejoyce in the Lord for he hath clothed us with the garments of salvotion He hath covered us with the robe of righteousnesse as a Bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments and as a Bride adorneth her self with her jewells h Isa 61. 10. And it will help also much to advance our affections that way where our treasure is or should be if we consider that expression then which there is not another more feeling one in all the sacred Scripture except in the 103 psalme verse the 13. As the Bridegroom rejoyceth over his Bride so shall thy God rejoyce over thee Isa 62. 5. This consideration would much help us in the keeping our hearts to God the sole fountain of life and happinesse and from cleaving to the Creature which at the best is but as a Cisterne k Jer. 2. 13. which fills and empties according as its influence is from the fountain It would be a means to cut our expectation the shorter that it spread not out too large towards the Creature which though our thoughts are otherwise but they have no bottom cannot satisfie nor is it possible it should no more then the East-winde can fill the stomack there will be an emptinesse notwithstanding or a filling with winde such a vanitie there is that lieth upon the Creature And then the more we shall enlarge and widen our hearts towards it the more the Creature may contract and narrow it self towards us for our just punishment and so the heart finding a capacitie in it self and a narrownesse in the Creature it would finde so large content in but cannot nor is it possible it should there groweth a satietie then a flatnesse then perhaps a coldnesse whereas a true and orderly love would have kept it self in life and heat and have maintained a good proportion in both c l 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Ibid. Sinne hath wonderfully poysoned our natures and put all out of frame And if we be left in our own hands we shall pervert Gods good ordinance and turn it into sinne so that which was ordained as a remedie against sinne may prove through our sinne an occasion to foment it the more For indeed those very expedient remedies on which we may dote too much and put too much trust unto considered in themselves without a divine influence sanctifying them are but crazy and sickly They cannot put us into a sound constitution or right temper nor keep us in it no more then meat and drink can till the stomach be cleansed and a word of blessing from the Lord of the Creature doth accompany them but if abused to intemperancy our good temper is more lost our distemper is increased as fire by fuell put unto it The reddition or application hereof to our present purpose is very easie but I forbear it Over some things we must draw a vail and when we walk under that we must walk the more comely and honourably No cover hides from God whose eyes run to and fro through the whole world 2.
OF THE CHILDS PORTION viz GOOD EDUCATION By E. W. OR The Book of the Education of Youth that hath for some yeers lain in obscurity but is now brought to light for the help of Parents and Tutors to whom it is recommended BY Will Goudge D. D. Edm Calamy John Goodwin Joseph Caryll Jer Burroughs William Greenhill Psal 34. 11. Deut. 12. 28. Come ye children hearken unto me I will teach you the fear of the Lord that it may go well with you and with your children after you for ever when thou dost that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord thy God Chrysost As our Seminaries or seed-plots are such are the Land and Nation As the Parents house and school are such are the Town and City Printed at LONDON and are to be sold by Tho Vnderhill at the signe of the Bible in Woodstreet 1649. VVEE whose names are under-written well acquainted with the scope and purpose of this Book Tending to an orderly proceeding in a well-Timed Reformation of our selves first and our children betimes do give our attestation thereunto heartily and in all faithfulnesse Edm Calamy John Goodwin Joseph Caryll Jer Burroughes Will Greenehill THE PREFACE SHEWING the necessitie and worth of a vertuous education and may serve as an introduction to Dutie OUr great Advancer of Learning noteth an opinion of Aristotle which is this a Lib. 7. p. 375. In English Book 2. p. 263. That of those things which consist by nature nothing can be changed by custome using for example That if a stone be thrown up tenne thousand-times it will not learne to ascend and that by often seeing and hearing we doe not see or heare the better That Noble Scholler noted this for a negligent opinion so he cals it I know not why because the Philosopher doth instance in Peremptory nature and he took pains to informe us touching the same It is true saith he In things wherein nature is Peremptory Man cannot make massie bodies to hang in the Aire like Meteors he cannot make an Oxe to flye That which is crooked saith the wise man b Eccles 1. 15. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 man cannot make straight There is a Peremptory bent of nature which man cannot turne no more then he can turne back a Spring-tide or a Rushing winde This is a worke for Him and peculiar to Him Who turned Iâ—rdan back Who made the Iron Swimme Makes the Clouds those massie bodies to hang in the Aire as if they had no weight Who makes Mountaines Vallies and rough things even Raiseth children of stones stony hearts and made dry Bones live And the Parents worke in this case is to sit still I meane not any slacking of their endeavour that is to goe into his closet and spread this Peremptory bent of nature he sees in his Childe or not subdued in himselfe as the King the Letter before the Lord c â— King 19. 14. and to say it is Luthers Counsell d Poenitendum mihi praecipis sed talis sum ego miser quod sentio me nolle â—eque posse quare tuis prostratus pedibus c. Concio de poentent Anno Dom. 1518. Here is an Heart that cannot turn that will not turne turne it Lord it is Thy Worke Thine onely Turne it as Thou didst the Rivers in the South Thus where Nature is Peremptory and what we are to do in that case Nothing but look up to Him Who caused the Sunne to goe back and so the shadow in the Diall But it is otherwise in things wherein nature admitteth a latitude for we may see that a straight glove will come more easily on with use And that a wand will by use bend otherwise then it grew and by use of the voice we speak lowder and stronger and that by use of induring heate and cold we indure it the better e See a Treatise of Vse and Custome p. 26. and 39. and 69. And here in the God of Nature Who onely can change Nature and supply what man cast away and is wanting would have Man active and stirring and admits him as a fellow-worker with Himselfe By this I would gaine but thus much That I might evince the necessitie of a vertuous education and inhance the worth of the same I meane that we might set a price upon it and no ordinary one neither It were an easie taske here to enter into a common place and to give a Laudative hereof which would fill the margent and the lines Sufficeth it to know first f Reade Hist of the World first Book 4. Chap. Sect. 11. p. 14. Quint. de claris Oraâ— Isocrat Areopag 217. in sol That Nothing after Gods reserved power doth so much set things in or out of Square and Rule as education doth Secondly That we have no other means to recover our sickly and crasie nature I know my words are too short but I mean not in things that are high concerning God for in them she is not sick but dead no other meanes to pull it out of the Rubbish of Adams and of our own Ruins and to smooth over the face of it againe beautifying the same and making it comely no other means I say left us then to apply the Georgicks g p. 236. of the minde as that Noble Scholler Phraseth it he means the husbandry and Tillage thereof The effects we see in the husbanding our grounds and they are great and admirable The good Tillage of the minde produceth as great effects and concerneth man more as he thinks himselfe of more worth then a clod of earth It hath such a forcible operation as hardly any length of time or contention of labour can countervaile it afterwards we remember the old saying the truth whereof is more ancient then is the verse Ingenuas didicisse fideliter artes c. This Culture and manurance of the minde taketh away the wildnesse and barbarisme and fiercenesse of mens mindes it subdueth savage and unreclaimed desires But then as the great Scholler noteth also The accent had need be upon fideliter h p 82 that is The Culture and manurance of the minde must not be superficiall We deale not so with our ground but it must be laboured in faithfully heartily coÌ„tinually so the husbandman doth in his ground it findes him work all the yeer long And he doth his work throughly he doth not plant here a spot and there a plat of ground but he tils the ground all over that what he can and as the nature of the ground is capable he may make all fruitfull And so we must intend this businesse as we would that thing which concerns the Parent and the Childe more then anything in the world besides yea more then a World is worth Being confident of this That all things by labour and industry may be made better then Nature produced them And that God so ordained it That the industry of man should concurre in all things with
to God S. Con. 85. In a Family the Fathers and the Mothers care is the greatest The Childes care is onely to obey and the servants to doe his work Care of Provision and Protection doth not trouble them Most of our disquietnesse in our Calling is that we trouble our selves about Gods work whereas we should Trust God and be doing in fitting the Childe and let God alone with the rest He stands upon His credit so much that it shall appeare we have not trusted Him in vaine even when we see no appearance of doing any good when we cannot discerne by all our spialls the least shew either for provision or Protection We remember who were very solicitous for their Children and because they could not provide for them nor protect them neither therefore perish they must in the wildernesse We must remember also That the Lord took care of those Children and destroyed those distrustfull parents who thought there was no path in a wildernesse because they could not discerne any nor meate to be had there because their hand was too short to provide it It is dangerous questioning the power of God in the greatest straite If He bring any person into a wildernesse it is because He may shew His power there for provision and protection both God works most wonderfully for and speaks the sweetest comfort to the heart in a wildernesse Note we this then and so I conclude There is much uncertainty in the Certainty of man and all Certainty in the uncertainty of God I tearme it so by allowance of the Spirit i 1 Cor. 1. 25. in respect of mans apprehension There is no uncertainty in God but all Certainty as in Him is all Wisdome all Strength We apprehend that there is a Certainty in man and an Uncertainty in God for if we observe our hearts we Trust Him least but that is our Foolishnesse and Weaknesse There is all uncertainty in men even in the best of men in Princes place no Certainty there There is all Certainty in God as in Him is all Wisdome and Strength put we confidence there Cast we Anchor upwards Commit we all but in well-doing all we have and all we are into his everlasting Armes Then assuredly we shall finde a stay for our selves and a portion for ours Provision and Protection both He is all to us and will be so when we are nothing in our selves And so much touching my Wildernesse and Gods providing for me even there though I tempted him ten times I call it a wildernesse for so I may because so my foolishnesse in my wayfare made it And Gods provision for me was very remarkable and therefore to be remembred for the Parents sake and Childrens too of great use and concernment to both Indeed he that can say no more of his Travels but that he passed through a Wildernesse hath said little to commend his Pilgrimage but much to magnifie the power of That Hand whereby he had a safe Convoy through the same It is a poore and worthlesse life such mine is that hath nothing worthy to be remembred in it but its Infirmities But yet there is nothing so magnifies Gods power * 2 Cor. 12. 9. as mans weaknesse doth When I shall give account of my life and cast up the summe thereof saith Iunius k Miserationes Domini narrabo quum rationes narrabo miserae vitae meae ut glorificetur dominus in me qui secit me vitâ Junii affix Oper. Theol. and so he begins I shall tell of the mercies of the Lord and His loving kindnesse to me ward And then he goes on reckoning up the infirmities of his body some of his minde too but that he puts a Marke upon is what extremitie he was in at Geneva and how graciously the Lord disposed thereof for that was remarkable indeed Beza also spareth not to tell us nay he fills his mouth with it how troublesome the Itch was to him not so easily cured then Deut. 28. 29. as now and what a desperate way the Smart the Chyrurgeon put him to and bad Counsell put him upon Such it was that there was but a step betwixt him and death but God wonderfully put to His Hand inter Pontem fontem Beza could not but confesse that Mercy as we finde it in his Epistle before his Confefsions And so farre That the Parent and Childe both may learne to account Gods works and if it might be to call His mercies by their names and to rest upon Gods providence as the surest inheritance Now I come to give the reason of my paines in all this which follows and what ingageth a Parent unto this Duty 1. I considered my yeers declining a pace When the Sunne is passed the Meridian and turned towards its place where it must set then we know the night approcheth when man ceasing from his work lyeth down in the Darke It is the Wisemans Counsell l Eccles 9. 10. and it is his wisdome to do that which is in his hand with all his might m Prima Actionum Argo Committenda sunt extrema Briareo de Aug. l. 6. 41. before he goes hence for there is no working in the grave The putting off this Day and the next and halfe a day cost the poore Levite and his Concubine very deer as we read Iudg. 19. And it teacheth us in our affairs concerning our selves or ours in setting our house in order That it is dangerous triflng away the Day-light I cannot say with Isaac I am old or mine eye is dimme but I must say in the following words I know not the day of my Death God may spare me among mine yet longer for my building is not so old but it may stand And yet so unsound the foundation is for it is of Clay it may sinke quickly as my good Father before me I may lye down turne to the Wall and to the earth all at once though yet I have scarcely felt and so also my Father before me the least distemper If this consideration come home and proves seasonable I shall then set all in a readinesse and in order that when Death comes I may have then no more to doe but to welcome it and shut the eye and depart tanquam Conviva Satur as one that hath made an improvement of life and hath hope in Death That was my first consideration 2. I considered my Children all three young the eldest but peeping into the World discerning little the second but newly out of the armes the youngest not out of the Cradle I considered also they are not so much mine as the Lords Whom thou hast borne unto me saith the Lord Ezek. 16. 20. And therefore in all reasonable Construction to be returned back againe unto Him by a well ordered education as himselfe hath appointed These thoughts so over-ruled me at length for I am not easily drawn to take my Pen in hand and prevailed with me to pen some instructions
saith That by Adam sinne entred into the world It sufficeth to know That God by just imputation realizeth the infection into the whole race of Adam in whom we were as in a common Lumpe and in his leaven sowred In his Loines we were and there we sinned and so did partake of his guilt which like a common infection worse then a leprosie we took from our Parents and transmitted it to our Children a Seede of evill doers So we sprang up as the seede doth with stalke and huske though the fanne made the same difference betwixt the wheate in the heape and the other fitted for the seede as grace doth betwixt the Parent and the Childe Though the Parent be accepted in the righteous one and his sinne covered the guilt remitted yet sinne and guilt are transmitted to the Childe Hereby the Parents see matter of great humiliation h Book pag. 32 they feele a tye also and an engagement upon them to doe their utmost to prevent the evill whereof they have beene a Channell of conveyance unto their Childe It is their Image They its debtors It is very equall and a point not so much of mercy as of justice That we should for I am a Parent too labour by all meanes and take all occasions whereby through Gods blessing our owne and bad image may be defaced and the New which is after Christ formed on and in the Childe This is that we should endeavour with all our might giving All diligence It is an heavy and grievous judgement which we reade threatned against Parents and Children I will recompence your iniquities and the iniquities of your fathers together i Esa 65. 7. That is Because the Fathers have committed an abomination and ye their Children have done according to the same abomination therefore the wickednesse of the wicked shall be upon him k Ezech. 18. 20. I will lay your sinnes together as upon heapes visiting you both Children and Fathers in your heapes of sinne O pray we in our prayer pray l 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Iames 5. 17. wrestling and weeping pray we earnestly m Hosea 12. 3. 4. Remember not against us former iniquities n Psal 79. 8. Recompence not our iniquities and the iniquities of our Children together nor measure out unto us our old Worke into our bosome This Mercy we should pray so for and long-after even from the heart-root we should long For if the curse was heavy and sore which we reade of Psal 109. 14. then is the mercy great and greatly to be sought after from the Lord Let not the iniquitie of the Father be remembred with the Lord against the Childe and let the sinne of the Mother be blotted out Whensoever the Lord visits the Childe for Sinne certainly it should call the sinne of the Parent to remembrance o 1 King 17. 18. and so it will doe if the conscience be not asleepe or seared Then he will discerne that there was a great and weighty reason that made the Woman of Canaan thus to petition Christ p Matt. 15. 22. Have mercy on me O Lord thou Sonne of David my Daughter is grievously vexed with a Divell She counted the Childes vexation hers so would she the mercy We have filled our Childrens bones with sinne which will fill their hearts with sorrow It is our engagement to doe all we can though that All be two little to roote that sinne out which we have beene a meanes to roote so fast in I shall in another place the Second Part q Chap. 2. speake more unto this roote of bitternesse and the fruits springing thence whereby all are defiled Here I have onely pointed unto it as it engageth the Parent upon this so necessary and principall a service touching the good culture and breeding of the Child And we see what an engagement it is the greatest and strongest that can be thought of And so much as an Induction to Duty what this Duty is comes now to be handled To the Reader THis Treatise tendeth to the erecting of faire Edifices to the Lord which are the children of children of men The Author sheweth himself herein a skilfull builder in that he first layeth a sure solid foundation and then reareth thereupon his goodly edifice This the Lord Himselfe noted to be the part of a prudent builder Luk. 6. vers 48. He wisely sheweth when and by whom especially this foundation is to be laid even by Parents so soone as their children attaine any competent capacitie Young and tender yeares are flexible and may easily be bowed this way or that way They are like a Argillà quidvis imilaberis udâ— Hor. the moist potters clay which may readily be fashioned into any shape and like soft waxe which soone receives any print Nor so only but also long retains what it first receiveth like b Quo semel est imbuta yecens servabit odorem Testa diu Idem a vessell which long holds the savour which it first tooke while it was new Old men are said to remember in their elder yeares what they learned in their younger I shall not need to presse this further it being so plentifully and pithily pressed by the Author himself who layes his foundation very deep even in the mothers wombe and goeth along from infancy to childhood thence to youth and so on till he bring his childe to a growne yea an old man full of dayes going to the grave in a full age like as a sheafe of corne cometh in in his season c Job 9. 26. In every estate and degree of these Ages even from the wombe to the grave he prescribeth pertinent and profitable directions not to children only but also to Parents Guardians Schoole-masters Tutors Governours of all sorts of Societies yea and to Ministers too whom he fitly styleth Instructors of Instructors So full he is as he hath passed nothing over in this long journey without a due observation whether it concerns the mothers care of the childe in her wombe or after in the infancy or both Parents care about a new birth or initiating it in pietie good manners good literature at home at schoole at Vniversity or any other good Seminary Yea also about calling marriage carryage to Parents to their superiours equalls and inferiours in all ages times and places This is that faire Edifice whereof intimation was made before fairer then the Edifices which have formerly been erected by Xenophon in his d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Institution of Cyrus by Plutarch in his Treatise e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of training up children by Clemens Alexandrinus in his f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Instructour of children by Hierome in his Epistle to Laeta concerning the g De institutione filiae educating of her daughter by Erasmus in his Discourse h De puâ—ris stalim liberaliter iastituendis of timely and liberall training up of children or by others in
but our Pitie and our Praise 2. Thus they see Gods handy-worke and it is wonderfull in their eyes but still they see their owne Image also and cause enough to bewaile the uncleannesse of their Birth What the Pharisees once spake of him whose eyes Christ had opened is true of every mothers Childe Thou wast altogether borne in sinnes which should Joh. 9. 3â— make every Parent to cry out as that mother did Have mercy on me O Lord thou sonne of David my Childe is naturally Matth. 15. 22. Joh. 3. the childe of wrath Except it be borne againe of water and of the spirit it cannot enter into the kingdome of God The Parents see evidently now that they are the channell conveying death unto the childe The mother is separated for some time that shee may set her thoughts apart and fixe them here The father is in the same bond with her and in this we may not separate them God hath made promise to restore this lost Image this not tooke but throwne away integritie And this now their thoughts run upon and they pray That the Lord would open their mouthes wide and enlarge their hearts towards this so great a Mysterie They have a fruit of an old stocke it must be transplanted and out they carry it and into the Church they beare it as out of old Adam whence was transmitted to it sinne and death into the second Adam whence it may receive Righteousnesse and Life Then at the fountaine they hold it blessing God Who hath opened it for sinne and for uncleannesse And there they present it not to the signe of the Crosse but to Blood Sacramentally there that is Righteousnesse purchased by the death of Christ and now on Gods part appropriated and made the childes And the Parents blesse His name and exalt His mercy who hath said at such a time as this Live Who hath found out Ezâ—k 16. 6. a Raâ—some to answer such a guilt A righteousnesse to cover such a sinne so big and so fruitfull A life to swallow up such a death with all its issues This the Parent sees in this poore element Water appointed by God set apart fitted and sanctified for this end With it the childe is sprinkled and for it the Parent beleeves and promiseth Then home againe they carry it It is a solemne time and to be remembred and thâ— vaine pompe takes not up much time where wiser thoughts from truer judgement take place Friends may come and a decency must be to our place sutable but the Pageant like carriage of this solemne businesse by some speaks out plainly 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 A â—ancie Act. 25. 23. that the heart is not right nor is that vaine pâ—mpe forsaken which yet is now upon their lips to say They who have better learned Christ do better understand the nature and solemnitie of the action they are about so their great businesse is with God before whom they spread themselves and their childe Who can worke by meanes as secret as is the way of the spirit and can set this water closer to the soule then He hath set its bones which yet no man understandeth nor can tell when or how To Him they offer it before Him they lay it praying That this water may ever lye upon the heart of theirs as a fruitfull seed quickâ—ing renewing sanctifying That that water may as the Rocke ever 1 Cor. 10. 4. follow the childe The rocke removed not but the waters there-out followed them so the Parents pray That this water may ever follow the childe as a fresh spring still quickening washing refreshing untill the day of refreshing shall come This is their dutie now and this is all they can do beside the tending of it and this their dutie and their life must end together Now the childe lyes at the mothers breast or in the lap she is the nurse without question or so she should be though it is a resolved case that in some cases she cannot and in some she may not mercy must be regarded before this sacrifice But looke we still That mercy be not the pretence and ease the thing that is pleaded for that alters the case very much and will not prove a sufficient excuse wherewith to put off so bounden a dutie The * Aul. Gel. lib. 12. cap. 1. Macrob lib. 5. cap. 11. Erasm puerp Heathen have spoke enough to this point and more then all the Christians in the world can answer for the deserting and putting off unlesse in the cases before pointed at this so naturall and engaged a service At the mothers breast then we suppose the childe is and the eyes are open abroad it looks nothing delights it they shut againe as if it would tell the Parent what they should be now and it selfe hereafter both crucified to the world and the world to them 3. The childe is yet so little that here is little for the father to do yet All that is and it is no little worke is in his closet But besides that for it is the mothers worke too here is work for the mother enough It must be tended though it sleepe much more when it is awake And here is the observation It is hard to say which is more the mothers tendernesse or the childes frowardnesse and yet how they agree how they kisse one the other as if the parent were delighted with it It is an affection somewhat above nature implanted for the preservation of man so the Heathen could say by the God of mercy otherwise it might not be so for the more froward it is the more she tenders the little thing And it much encreaseth the childes score which he can never pay The Parent and the childe can never cut scores or strike tallies for they will never lye even 4. Infancy is a dreame we say The most part of it is spent in the cradle and at the breast the remainder in dressing and undressing Little can be said to it And yet something may be done even the first two yeers for the framing of the body as Nurses know best but something it is and the fashioning of the minde too and the younger it is with the better successe I have read of a great Conquerour yet not so great as that he could overcome his passions or an ill custome it is a second nature he learnt an unbeseeming gesture at the brest and shewed it on his throne If I remember his Nurse was blamed for it for she might have remedied it while the parts were tender Some-thing may be done also for the fashioning of the minde and preventing of evill It is much what they who are below Christians have spoken and practised this way which I passe over Note we The first tincture and dye hath a very great power beyond ordinary conceit or my expression And therefore observe well what they do who are about this childe not yet three yeers old and what the childe doth
like an Ape wholly by example The Parents practise I meane the Parent at large him or her that hath the oversight of it is the childes booke it learnes by it so it speaks so it heares it is fashioned after it it is chatechized by it It is its Schoole and the Church The Parents house must promote the childe in point of information more then can Schoole or Church though well provided in both yet Parents be too ready to referre all thither and so put all off from themselves Assuredly it is the cause of much mischiefe and sorrow in the world that the parents think themselves discharged of their duty towards their childe when they have charged the School with it Yet thus it is commonly for so experience tels us which is the Oracle of Time and makes all wise that observe it The mother thinks that the School must look to the washing her childs hands putting on the girdle its attendance at the table and his manners there and if there be any other faults as there will be many then we know who shall heare of them all and we know as well that none will be mended when there is no better care at home But so the mother thinks that she shall do her part for she is resolved that to the Master or Mistresse she will go and the childes arrand she will do and she sweares it too if she live to the next morning If it please God I relate her words being well acquainted with them the Master shall know the rudenesse of the childe how unmannerly and undutifull it is and how slovenly too Nay the Master shall know it will neither give God thanks nor say its prayers This is her errand and when that is done she takes it that she hath done her duty In the mean time I mention no other decay the childe grows so nasty that you would scarce take an egge out of its hand So much the Mother commonly neglects the childe whom she loves so dearly well and so much desires its well doing And for the Father he is upon such designes as may enlarge his heaps or possessions which he means to cast upon the childe like so many loads of Muck thrown together L. Ver. Essay 15. â—5 upon an heap though money as one saith is like muck indeed not good except it be spread But so the Father enlargeth his desires and his means he knows not well for whom and so he intends his minde and for himself onely Essay 8. 37 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Gen. 33 Hom. 59 a. he intendeth it For Charity will hardly water the ground when it must first fill a poole And little doth the Parent think how much he doth in so doing crosse the rule and the end he seems to carrie in his eye his comfort in his childs well-doing For those designes do trouble and hurt the wel-fare of the childe they do not serve it at all That wherewith the parent would load himself now and his childe after him usually makes the childe forget it self and the parent both The bladder is so blown with the windie conceit of that inheritance the Father hath purchased and is the childe 's in reversion that he can think of nothing but that and his Fathers yeers which he can roule in his minde betime as a piece of sugar under his tongue His minde is so stuffed with the thoughts of what he is heir to that by his looke speech gesture he shews plainly that he is not tractable not counsellable The Father hath laid up enough for it as he thinks and the childe takes it as the Parent means it for portion and proportion both And what folly there is in the childe which must needs be a great deale Stultitiam patiuntur opes â—uvenal Nimiâ— felicitate socors Tacit. de Scjano Annal. 74. cap. 9. where no means hath been used to let it forth Riches will cover well enough Folly will not appeare under a rich Covering But this will appeare which is more unnaturall yet too ordinary such is the corruption that the childe is well content that the same head should be laid low which contrived so much to set the childes head so high I observed a childe once so he was though a man grown and I know him now a rich mans sonne and his onely heire who could not frame and set his countenance for that was as much as was lookt for for so short a time Haeredis luctus sub larvâ risus as while he prepared his hood he was close mourner and it was wel he was to follow his Fathers corps to Church I was present the while A sad but just judgement upon those parents who are sad and serious almost in al their designes excepting this one which is the maine the well ordering and good education of their childe Herein that which is at the best but a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Châ—ys Tom. 4. Vit. Monast lib. 3 cap 6. an accessary liberall maintenance is made a principall and that which is a principall the childes good and wholesome nurture is made an accessary and scarce that And this is To sell the horse to get some hay as Charron phraseth it In every thing else the Parent is wiser he will not build in a Citie or in a place which is instable ruinous ready to fall nor will he lay a foundation upon a sand And yet so he builds and contrives for himself and his childe even where he knâ—ws there is no continuing or abiding 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost in Epist ad Heb. ca. 12. Hom. 32. City And this is a folly exceeding that of the simplest idiot in the world for it is as if the Parent should lay out all his whole stock of wealth and wit to purchase and furnish a chamber for his childe in a thorough faire and provide it no house in the City where it is for ever to dwell Again the Parent is so wise that he will till and manure the field he loâ—ks to reap a good crop from but here he thinks to reap though he sow not and that the childe will â—e good how bad soever the fathers example be or how little soever his care which he takes in the well nurturing of his childe It is a soloecisme in Power saith the Lo. Ver. but we are sure it is an inordinate rude and perverse conceit that prevails with the most parents against all sense and reason To thinke to command the end yet not to endure the Esâ—â—y 19. 108. meane They will expect comfort ye cannot beat them off from it but for the way they take they may as well expect a grape from a thorne or a figge from a thistle for look upon the childe they expect it from observe its looks speeches gesture mark it from the head to the heel and you shall see it like the sluggards field and in no better plight to yeeld
comfort in true judgement then is that field to give fruit or then the parched places of the wildernesse or a salt land not inhabited Note we this for the close hereof and to instruct father and mother very much The childe had anciently amongst the Romanes three set over him the master to instruct the governour to correct the parent to do both Praeceptor Pâ—dagogus Parâ—ns or to see carefully that both were done So the parent was principall and his work the chiefe Now it is otherwise the parent commonly doth just nothing the Master must do all look to the childs book and manners both he must instruct and correct also faults done without the verge of his jurisdiction which hindreth instruction very much for he that must instruct should have as little occasion to correct as may be I would it were in the Philosophy of parents to note this for it is certain parents must do their parts as well as masters theirs else not half the work will be done nor can there be a grounded hope grounded I say a vain hope there may be for future comfort 4. Learn we then while there is time before we smart under this folly to account childehood and youth our seed-time so these ages are we must not let slip our season we must not sleep nor let our hands hang down we must know that our harvest which is but the reaping of our hopes now like the seed in the blade or under ground depends upon our care and diligence in this ploughing and sowing season And this let me say once again That were our Schooles such as they should be as farre promoting the good of the childe every way as in true judgement we could think they ought to do which is a thing we in our generation may hope to see but we shall not see it the next may But I say were the Schools generally such as they ought to be yet they could do but their part and this not half the work to such I mean who are one houre with the Master and two with the Parent And that work also as Masters know very well is for the most part in unteaching what the childe hath unhappily learnt And if the Master can unteach that he hath done a good work indeed Therefore the Parent must know that while the childe is in his house the principall and chiefe work about the promoting the childe is this while the childe is under the parents eye it is properly their charge and as they discharge it so the childe thrives and proves every way It is their businesse and of the greatest weight and consequence that can be thought of whereof they must give an exact account yea of every part and parcell of this seed time And when all is done humane sufficiencie is insufficient to provide against the evill that hindreth or to use all the means that may promote the childes good but yet we must do our utmost in these two principall points 1 In preventing and hindring evill 2 In ingrafting and increasing good CHAP. III. This twofold employment lyeth in the order of nature and right reason But the Lets which hinder this twofold duty must first be removed What these lets are how much they hinder and block up our way to comfort how we shall be prepared and armed against them THese two points which take up the maine imployment of this seed-time lie in the order of nature and right reason Nihil prodcrit dare praecepla nisi prius amoveris obstantia praeceptis Sen. Ep. 95. for we plough up the ground and pluck up the weeds before we cast in the seeds but before I shall come to them I must first set down such lets and hinderances which will crosse the way very much in the performing this twofold duty These lets are all that I need mention but two fondnesse and fiercenesse They are two extreames and being so Nihil in vulgo medium Taâ— 1. ca. 7. they must needs do much hurt and yet so contrary though they are each to other and as much crossing the childes good and the parents comfort as we need to imagine yet are they very incident to parents nay many times for so experience tels us one and the same Parent is both sometime too fond then again too fierce now all honey as we say anon all dirt like some whom I have known who at one time have been so indulgent that they could set the childe in the lappe but that the childe was ashamed and then again so eager upon it that they could trample it under feet It is not to be questioned but these extreames or faults call them what we will are to be found in Parents I shall in the first place severally and apart make cleare what lets they are and how much hindering the good of the childe and then I shall set down some considerations which may fortifie us against them for we may all say we are very 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i. e pro suo arbitrio non semper satis justo Pise Heb. 12. 10. Essayes 12. 62. weak this way ready to dote upon our little image sometimes and then as ready to strike it after our own pleasure not as reason but as will carrieth us not alwayes just there being as one noteth in humane nature generally more of the fool then of the wise Touching fondnesse 1. How it ariseth 2. How it hurteth 3. How we may be fortified against it 1. The childe hath cost the Parents deare they see their image in it and in it they look to live when they are gone Dimidiata vâ—rba M. Fâ—lix and it makes them pretty sport besides It hath delightfull gestures pretty antick postures and the lesse articulate words it hath as Minutius phraseth it and perhaps the Gaudemus siquid licentius dixerint verba ne Alex. c. risu osculo excipimus l. 1. cap. 2. more unhappy and licentious also as Quintilian saith the more delight and mirth it causeth Whence else it comes I know not but from corrupted nature it is which too readily idolizeth the creature that this childe is crept into the mother again and lies so close to the father that his life is bound up in the childes life if the childe leave the parent as now that it is lapt so close it is like to do the parent will die such is the strength and impetuousnesse of affection if we give scope and rains unto it Like a childe set at liberty so is affection set at liberty it will shame us and There is no heat of affection but is joyned with some idlenesse of brain A Spanish proverbe Gravis est omnis disciplina puero Prud. Ante palatum quam â—s instituimus Quint. l. 1. c. 2. trouble us both For this fondnesse is alwayes accompanied with a strange indulgence which is against all fitting discipline hereafter will be time enough in the meane time it shall
unapt we were when we were children learning something now would make it fresh again though the difference is much betwixt a man and a childe and it must be considered What we understand fully we think a childe might understand more readily and hence proceeds more hastinesse then is fitting which shews the Teacher to be the verier childe 4. Lastly let the Parent consider how long he hath been a disciple and how little he hath learnt It may be an Elephant or some imitating creature may be taught more in one moneth then he hath learnt in a whole yeer in matters most necessary this consideration if it be put home would calme him sure enough And so much for the removing of the Lets CHAP. IIII. Our nature like a soil fruitfull of weeds What her evils are How unrooted or prevented NOw we look to the preventing of evils which while they are but in the seed may be crushed as it were in the egge before there comes forth a flying Serpent or Cockatrice and I begin with that which is most radically in us and first sheweth it self that is †1. Pride it is the sinne of our nature and runs forth to seed rank and luxuriant the soonest of any It is the first sinne which declares its life in a childe and last dies in a man We read a Judg 9. 34. that Abimelechs skull was broke with a milstone thrown down upon him by the hand of a woman then he called out hastily unto his Armour-bearer Slay me that men say not A woman slew him Observe saith Chrysostome a Tom. 6. sâ—r 1. The man was dying yet his pride would not die Indeed it is the very heart-string of our corrupt Nature cut it and that beast will die but like the heart in the body it will hold out the longest I shall speak more hereof in my second part where we shall see the root of this sinne and the fruit of it too In this place being upon the dutie of a parent I shall onely shew how farre we parents fall short at this point and what our folly is for what we should soonest suppresse in children we first cherish and maintain Indeed all that are imployed about them b Quint. de claris Orat. are for the most part teachers of vanity unto them but of nothing more then of priding themselves and over-valuing their worth which is nothing whereto I conceive this makes a way verie ready and compendious †1. If a childe have some portion in the world above its fellows then it is presently a master or mistresse and others its servants He I include both sexes is taught to command when he should learn to obey and hath titles of respect given unto him before he knows how to deserve them or give them where they are due he hath others under him when he should be under others and not differ from a servant c Gal 4. 1 2 in point of subjection and obedience it is the old and standing rule though Lord of all This inhanceth our nature above the worth of it and makes the childe think it self some body d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Acts 8. 9. some great one when it is a very little one to that he thinks himself a very nothing I have observed they that have been masters when they were but Boyes and in theâ—â— season to learn subjection have proved the basest servants afterwards and boyes all the dayes of their life †2. Another way there is to blow up this little bladder which is by putting on the childe such ornaments so the parent intends them as serve neither for necessitie nor ornament nor decency and then bidding the childe looke where 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrys 〈◊〉 41. m Gen 18. it is fine An ordinary custome and very effectuall to lift up the minde To teach the childe so much to looke on it selfe that afterwards it cannot looke of I remember a merry fellow if he did intend hurt to any person would then give him a rich sute of apparell A 〈◊〉 cui 〈…〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vestimenta dabat 〈◊〉 Hor. strange kinde of injury a man would thinke but he found it a sure way and certain to hurt He should finde his enemy looking work enough he would so looke upon his fine costly cloathes that he would forget the vilenesse of his body And for the minde of this man so prancked-up now it would be as new and as gay as his cloathes and then he would hurt him sure enough For this is a compendious way to take hurt or a fall To looke upon the cloathes and forget a mans selfe and his first principles Sr. Thomas More tells us of a countrey wherein the men went very plaine but the children were as gay as jewells bracelets and feathers would make them It was his fiction but it findes some realitie and truth amongst us with whom children are so decked up and some also who passe for and walke as men of whom we may say as the Prophet in a case not very different for they also lavish gold out of the bag to adorne their Idoll Remember this and shew your selves men But sure enough Isa 46. 8. our rule teacheth us otherwise touching our children That they are worse trusted with superfluities till they have learnt from us the nature use and end of apparell why it was first put on and since continued In the meane time an handsome neat but plaine dresse doth best and is the safest garb A wise man can see his way here and guide himselfe and his childe between a cynicall affected plainnesse scanting themselves and a pageant like ostentation fomenting pride and strange conceits Reade Chrysost upon 〈◊〉 3. 1 vers 21. Hom. 18. Abusing that most fearefully to most contrary ends which God hath given to make us humble and thankfull Our Proverbe forbids us to stirre up a sleeping dogge and the Greeks have another to the same purpose We must not cast up fire with a sword Both the one and the other teacheth us not to foment or stirre up corrupt nature but by all fitting 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Plut. de Educat meanes to keep it down so may we prevent this evill But we see the contrary is practised we doe stirre fire with a sword we doe foment corrupt nature by vain and phantasticall fashions such as if the Divell were in mans shape they were the words of a grave and learned Divine he D. G. could not be more disguised then now in mans cut and garb A great and a provoking evill this our dutie is to prevent it what may be and betimes Here is a fit place to plant in the Grace of humilitie lowlinesse of carriage how the viler a man is in his own eyes the more gracious he will be in every mans eye besides The lower his deportment is so it be in truth and sinceritie and not below himselfe the higher he is
fancies never It is a debasing of humanitie below beasts to please the eye I say not in beholding one man teare and mangle another but to see poore beasts encountring each other and mangling each other being set on by man we must not make Gods judgements and punishments of sinne for we made the beasts wild our sinne put the enmitie betwixt the Woolfe and the Lambe c Quis seras â—â—cit â—isi â—u Mor. de verit religionis cap. 12. the matter and object of our recreation Alas sinfull man it is Mr. d Direct 156. Boltons patheticall expression what an heart hast thou that canst take delight in the cruell tormenting of a dumbe creature Is it not too much for thee to behold with dry eyes that fearefull brand which only thy sinne hath imprest upon it but thou must barbarously also presse its oppressions and make thy selfe merry with the bleeding miseries of that poore harmlesse thing which in its kinde is much more and farre better serviceable to the Creator then thy selfe Yet I deny not but that there may be another lawfull use of this Antipathy for the destroying of hurtfull and enjoying of usefull creatures so that it be without any taint or aspersion of crueltie on our part or needlesse tormenting of the silly beasts It is a sure note of a good man He is mercifull to his beast And it is worth our marke That the Lord commands a mercy to a creature perhaps not worth two farthings and for this He promiseth a great mercy the like blessing which is promised to them who honour their father and mother Deut. 22. 6 7. If thou finde a birds nest c. Thou shalt in any wise let the Dam go and take the young to thee That thou mayest prosper and prolong thy dayes This is to lead to mercy and to take out of our hearts crueltie saith Mr Ainsworth It is the least of all in Moses law and yet such a promise is annexed thereunto as we heard so true is that which the learned Knight hath The debts of mercie and crueltie shall be surely paid Think we on this so we have our duty and we shall teach our children theirs and then though the bloud of the creature be not spared for we have dominion over it yet it shall not be abused nor shall we delight our selves in the pain of it which tends to much evil which we must by all means and all too little prevent and at the first while the minde is tender and doth easily receive any impression 15. It is not possible to point at all the evils whereof our corrupt nature is fruitfull nor at all the meanes whereby to prevent the growth of the same I remember how Ad Dâ—m 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Isocrates concludes his oration so full of instructions With all our diligence we cannot overcome the pravitie and corruption of our nature And yet we must not sit still therefore and do nothing at all because all we do is too little We must with the husbandman cast up the ground and cast out the stones and thorns that is the order and then cast in the seed that is our duty And we must look up to an higher hand who makes the seed to grow that is a parents wisdome We must not forget the order this plucking up these weeds first where with our nature like the sluggards field is over-run which will so choake the seed as that no fruit can be brought to perfection The Greeks have a proverb some what homely but it teacheth very much you must not put f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Plut. deâ—ducat meat into a chamber-pot This teacheth that good instructions to a stubborn and corrupt heart are as good meat to a foule stomack the more we put in the more we increase the distemper We must look to the cleansing the heart in the first place the keeping that fountain clean as we would the Spring-head whence we would fetch pure water I remember the reproof that was given to a very loose companion who yet would sit very close and attentive at a Philosophers lecture It g 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Aul. Gell. 17. 19. will come to nothing young man which you take in nay it will rather hurt then do good because you have not looked to the cleansing of the vessel And this reproof is the same in substance with that prohibition which we finde Ier. 4. 3. 4. h Clem. Alex. Strom. lib. 1. p. 203. When there is no pains taken for the cleansing of the heart first but we bring our old corrupted hearts to new and holy lessons they agree no better then new wine and old bottles all is lost the instructions spilt and if any good purposes were they vanish like the morning dew and the heart returns again like the swine or the dogge And the very reason thereof we have heard 16. We may note now in the shutting up hereof that we may abridge our way and make it shorter by leaving precepts and proposing examples for these take best with children and it is the more compendious and certain way So the sober master reproves his drunken servant he bids him leade his horse to the water when the horse had drunk and had sufficient he bids his servant make the horse drink again which when he assayed but could not do he thereby corrected his servant as the verier beast And so the old man in i Lib. 1. Ser. Sat. 4. insâ—â—viâ— patâ—r optimus hoc me c. Horace deales with his young sonne for disswading him from the vices and sinnes of the time he proposeth such unto him whose sinne had been their ruine See childe yonder poore ragged fellow it is very truly observed of him that he was a very bad husband of his time and purse he cast away his time as a worthlesse commoditie and his money as if it could never be spent now he would recall both but cannot Learn thou by his example to account time pretious and well to husband both it and thy purse Learn also to put a fitting esteem upon those creatures which are appointed for thy nourishment and refreshing for this fellow whom you heare crying out for one bit of bread and one drop of drink was wont having plenty of both to tread his bread under foot and to cast his drink in the street Behold another he goes creeping by the wall nothing but skin and bone a loathsome carkeise he rots above ground It is truly observed of him that he minded nothing but his pleasure he would do whatsoever was pleasing in his eyes and now that his light is consumed to the socket and going out in a snuffe and pains are upon him he mourns But now behold a third see how well furnished he is every way accomplished a companion for the best man in the parish he hearkened to instruction and was wise After this manner the
losse in the principalls A consideration which may assure us that we are buâ— men fraile decaying men and minde us of that state where is constancy and to seek Him who is fulnesse and onely satisfies Here below our comforts and refreshments lie scattered some here some there some in this some in that we go to the fire for some to the cup board for other some to the â—isterne of water for other but they are indeed but cisterns quickly suckt up and emptied and then are we as before God is the ever springing-fountain All comforts are summ'd up in Him as the drops in the ocean They are divided here below but united in Christ get Him and we have all in Him Oh say then Give us evermore from that fountain That though we do come to these cisternes to draw yet we may know them to be but cisternes and Him to be the Fountain from whom we may receive fullnesse and satisfaction and so wait for His appearance when we shall be ever with the Lord where we shall hunger no more nor thirst any more c. 3. And this instructs also that we have no true right to the Creatures before us a kinde of right there is y All are yours 1. Cor. 3. 21. 22. that is the churches in order to comfort and happiness but for proprietie so all things are not ours Religion takes not away the distinction of master and servant And therefore it takes not away distinction of goods which is the lesser Doctor Sibs on that Text. Non fundatur dominium nisi in Imagine Dei. Imago â—â—c quid â—st aut quomo lo deletâ—â— Respondebunt spiritus 〈◊〉 Imaginem Dei esse puritatem id autem quod delet esse peccatum Verùm hoc ad eversionem imperii omnis spectaâ— Interpretes igitur saniores â—anc imaginem interpretantur esse rationem naturalem Quae si in toto aut maximâex parte deformetur juâ— imperii extinguitur L. Veâ—ul de bello sacro p. 3. 345. In Engl. p. 122. 123. Lege Clem. Alex. Ad Gentes pag. 44. which is not here a place to dispute but no true nor comfortable right but in our Head the Lord Iesus Christ By sinne we have forfeited them all and more then so we have brought a curse upon them and a vanitie In Christ they are restored and through Him the curse taken off I will cite Mr Dearings words here on Heb. the first chapter verse 2. They are these and yeeld us profitable instruction We must learn of our selves we have nothing but being ingrafted in Him we are owners of all things In mine own right I am naked and void of all I have no meat to feed my hungry body no drink to comfort my faint and thirsty spirit no clothes to keep me warm no house to harbour me c. for the earth is the Lords and the fulnesse thereof I may have from man my warrant here in earth that my house is mine and my land is mine and he is a thief and a robber that taketh it from me But all the men in the world cannot give me my possession before the living God but onely his Sonne Christ who is Heire of all Then that our lands may be our own our goods our own yea and our meat ours let us be Christs that in Him we may have the good assurance of all our substance Take not thy meat but as the gift of Christ who hath sanctified it unto thee nor any thing thou hast but with thanksgiving to Christ that hath sanctified it for thee †4. And the consideration hereof should be a meanes to lift up our hearts as well as our hands and eyes to Him that spreadeth our table prevents the snare feeds us with the finest wheat when others are fed with the bread of affliction and water of affliction or if our bread be course or not that but pulse instead of bread yet He can nourish by it and make the countenance z Dan. 1. ruddy whereas the more daintie fare may tend to leannesse So the parent must teach the childe not to eat with common hands or mouth that is not before the hands be lifted up and the mouth opened to Him Who opened His hand to the parent first before the parent could open his to the childe And now onely commands a blessing and gives the bread power to nourish making it a staffe of bread both to parent and childe which must minde the parent that it is not a childes work to blesse the table but according to the ancient custome the masters duty to pray for a blessing who should best understand that all things are sanctified by the word of God and prayer And so much to raise our hearts before we take our meat towards Him who onely commands a blessing upon our meat and strengtheneth with strength in our souls Psal 138. verse 3. 5. And now that we suppose we are set down to feel and taste how good the Lord is who hath so furnished our table we must consider well what is set before us else we are as he who puts a knife to his throat a Alioquin Trem. Prov 23. 2. Lege Clem. Alex. paed lib. 2 cap. 1. saith the wiseman What meaneth he by that If we do not moderate our selves in a sober temperate use of the Creatures as men not given to our appetites we do then turn that which was ordained to maintain life and to refresh the spirits the clean contrary way as a meanes to destroy life and to suppresse and damp the spirits which is a great provocation for thereby we fight against God with His own blessings and against our selves with our own weapons and so are as they who instead of putting their hands to their mouthes to feed them put both to their throat to cut it For by intemperance this way in meat and drink by feeding without fear we transgresse the set bounds b Chrysostâ—mes observation touching the use of wine is very usefull for it telleth us the use of all the creatures given for our nourishment wine glads the heart there you have the use of it saith he gladâ—â—ng and refreshing is the very bound and lâ—mit set unto us in the use of the creatures if we transgresse that bound we abuse them 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ad Rom. 15. â—om 28. â— and our heart thereby is made as heavy as a stone our spirits quite flat and dead whence the proverb is An intemperate man digs his grave with his fingers so that although life be within him yet his body is his prison and the grave of Gods mercies and his life serves him to little other purpose then to dishonour that God who hath provided so bountifully for him And this kinde of intemperance I mean this lifting up the heel in our full pasture and exalting the heart this unkinde requitall of the Lord puts man that reasonable creature one degree below the c 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉
commonly the meaner mens children come to be the wisest Counsellours and greatest doers in the weightie affaires of the Realme And why for God will have it so of His providence because you will have it no otherwise by your negligence And God is a good God and wisest in all His doings that will place vertue and displace vice in those Kingdomes where he doth govern For He knoweth that Nobilitie without vertue and wisdome is bloud indeed but bloud truly without bones and sinewes and so of it self without the other very weake to beare the burthen of weightie affaires Thus touching the great neglect of our young Gentlemen in former times And the evidence of the present time doth cleare it That the most hopefull plants are most neglected and our Seminaries filled with the lesse promising slipp's too soone set there before they can suck any juyce or sap or too late when they are first run out to seed and wilde in some other place We see a great part of our Gentry Citizens and others running out very farre this way so as they are like the sluggards field and by their cut and garb they make their Parents feare as much as that great Gamaliel spake-out in his last testament That the childe will scatter as fast as the Parent gathered and emptie with as quick an hand as the father did take in For the end answers the meanes The childe was taught no obedience when it might now it is too old to learn The childe was not bended when it was tender now it is too stiffe it will follow its own bent The Parent hath slighted the grave counsell given him before i Chap. 1. p. 6. and chap. 2. and neglected his precious season and seed-time also And now that it is too late to call back yesterday he may thank himself for the evill consequences from that neglect and humble himself to smart patiently for smart he must if he have any feeling of the weight of his charge or of his childes miscarriage He had his childe in his hand and he might have carried him on fairely and have taught him to know God himself and his parents But the parent neglects this faire opportunitie till the childe be slipt out of his parents hands and from under his own also whereto he was at first too soon and ill trusted And then what follows we see and how the parents and childe complaines we have heard Pag. 18. 24. This neglect is manifest so is the hurt which issueth there-from The ground or bottom of this neglect is as manifest which is this as appeares by full discovery The largenesse of the childes patrimony causeth a barrennesse or scantnesse in its education He is heire of all no matter how the Georgicks are neglected He shall have goods enough for the goods of the minde the least care Learning will be but a burden at the best but a needlesse accessary so it is accounted and so it falls out commonly that the eldest childe is bred in such a way as that he can be of little use to himself and of no use at all to others amongst whom he lives If meanes fall short as commonly they do short enough to the younger brothers then they are designed to a trade and then writing and cyphering fits them for the best whether in citie or town If there be a third brother and he the lowest and weakest of all then he is designed for the Preacher as the Parents word is he must be the Scholler For the Parent hath a friend at Court he is sure in his purse as the wittie Knight said he knows a ready and road-way for his preferment My words here may be credited for I beleeve my own eares it is ordinary with Parents thus to say and to designe their children long before the time one to the Innes of Court the second to a trade the third to the Pulpit as we heard and accordingly the Preface pag. 26. Parent will and the Master shall order them while yet we may well discern that the Parent discovers his own inclination not his childrens fitnesse rather what he is resolved and will do then what the children can do For the helping of this great deceit and taking off this vaile of false opinion I would advise the parent to fix on two conclusions and accordingly to order his childe first this That learning is the principall riches but an accessary Learning makes the man it fits him and inables him both to serve himself and others whereas without it a man is commonly but a slave to himself and a burden to others The second is That the parents duty is and his endeavour must be with all his power to give the childe instructions universally good and profitable whereby the childe may be capable and ready to whatsoever This is saith Charron to go upon a sure ground and to do that which must alwayes be done and may be done before their yeares will admit their designation to any course for afterwards Accordingly now the parent must order the childe first in the fit choice of a school then when the school hath sufficiently promoted the childe in the fit choice of a calling touching both these and first of the school There must be a good foundation and ground-work layed in the parents house The parent must leade on the childe as farre as the light and understanding he hath can carry him But we suppose a parent cannot do all he must take the help of a master but whether is most convenient within his own walls or without admits some dispute which is not proper to this place Experience the oracle of time concludes that without the parents house is the fittest k Quint. Insâ—it lib. 1. cap. 2. For children learn best in company and the better the lesse cockered by parents that is out of all doubt The master is more tied and straightned then is convenient in a parents house and must sometimes do and speak more to please then to profit which is not to be questioned neither But whether the parent brings a master home to his children or sends his children abroad to the master the difference will not be much so the parents be well able to govern themselves and their house and can shew the same wisdome in choice of a master That he be such an one who is a master in his art it is an art and not quickly learnt to govern children That he be a knowing man and conscientious that knows his work and can skill of it and hath an heart unto it for such an one he should be who can instruct the life of his scholler as well as his tongue can teach him as well how to live as how to speak for these doctrines must not be separated as the Heathen man could say Neque disjuncti Doctores sed iidem erant vivendi praeceptores atque dicendi ut ille apud Homerum Phoenix Cic. orat p.
therefore it was but coldly proceeded in then and is like to lie now as a thing not thought upon or forgotten And therefore the forementioned Mr Horne hath taken the best and safest course and but according to the advice of his Elders he hath laboured for himself and is setting forth a work of his own whereby he leades on the childe to Rhetorick Oratorie Grammar is touched upon too in passage in a clearer way then any man yet hath goâ—e before him in So Schollers like wells are the fuller the more they are drained Pag. 71. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys Tom. 5. serm 55 â— The more they let out themselves for the good of others the more they are filled And a fulnesse this man hath if the skill in the languages and arts may be accounted so and which is the crown of all he hath an heart to lay forth his treasure and to spend himself for the common good And that is the way to encrease even to a fulnesse to empty our selves continually for the publick good as Chrysostome writes very usefully I have spoken this at this point in a zeal I have to promote the childes good my subject now and he who gives another his due doth not in so doing detract from any other I know there are many able and faithfull Ministers this way and the Lord encrease the number of them But I consider Schollers must be wound-up within the same common winding-sheet and laid to the same mould In that very day though their works follow them for their labour cannot be in vain in the Lord yet their thoughts perish It is good to know them and to use them while we have them Thus farre touching the way the Master must go and such helps which serve very much to promote the Scholler in the same way The Masters duty follows and that is to do his work throughly and fully in point of reformation and information before the childe passe from under his hand And Parents must have patience and suffer both to be done before the childe be other-where disposed of It proves no small disadvantage to the childe and Church that he is hasted to an higher Forme or place while his minde is empty and unfurnisht of such matter whereof before he came thither he should be well furnished or that he is posted into a strange countrey to learn the language before he hath learnt his Religion or attained any stayed or fixed carriage or command over himself The successe must needs be answerable for the childe is then most left to himself when he is least himself when he is in the most slipperie age and place y 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrys in Gen. Hom. 44. â— Reade Ascham â—â—hol p. 13. I mean when the furnace of concupiscence is most heated as the Father speaks when affections are strongest from within and provocations more stirring from without Therefore till the childe hath some good understanding of himself and book till he can command the one and well use the other what should he do abroad either at the Vniversitie Innes of Court or in a farre Countrey We can neither teach nor learn how to weigh measure or point the winde as the Noble Advancer speaketh against the sending of children abroad too soon and too unripe Humanitie will not down nor Logick neither and Littleton worse then either of the former They that go too unripe to those places quickly grow rotten In all probabilitie and we cannot easily conceive otherwise youth will leave that they understand not and can finde no sweetnesse in And they will to that which they can do and their natures must needs relish They will to such companions their books they understand not whose language they can skill off and when they cannot draw at the fountain they will to the sinke in those places and you may sent them as strongly that there they have been as if they had fell into a vessell wherein is no pleasure There is great cause we should labour to set our children as upright as we can and to fix their carriage before we send them forth from us else there is great danger of miscarrying considering what our natures are as was said z Pag. 44. The summe then touching this point is That there be a Graduat proceeding with the childe as up a paire of staires That the childes seed-time be improved to the utmost And for the daughter that she have generall instructions all qualities the parent can bestow which may set off and yet stand with decency and sobrietie more specially that she be accustomed to the essentialls of huswifery unto all that may make her rejoyce in time to come And when the Parent in his house and the Master in the Schoole shall have thus fully discharged this care touching the childe then may the Parents have thoughts touching the disposing of it to some lawfull calling whereof as followeth CHAP. X. Of Callings what the dignitie of some what the main end and use of all how to judge of their lawfulnesse Our faithfulnesse and abiding therein Doing the proper works thereof Designing the childe thereunto THE Lord hath disposed us in the civill Body as He hath the members in the naturall one needing another and serving for the good of another and all for the common good The foot saith not if I had been the hand I had served the body nor saith the hand if I had been the head I had served the body every member in his proper place doth his proper office for therefore hath the wise Disposer placed it so God hath set the members every one of them in the body as it hath pleased Him a 1 Cor. 12. 17. 19 20 21 22. And if they were all one member where were the body But now are they many members yet but one body And the eye cannot say unto the hand I 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrysost Ibid. Hom. 32. juxta cap. â— have no need of you Nay much more those members of the body which seeme to be more feeble are necessary The Lord so tempering the body together that there should be no schisme in the body Even so in the body politique God hath given to some the preheminence and principalitie of the head They must look to their influence They are resembled to the head for weightie causes who can conceive the manifold instruments of the soul which are placed in the head the consideration whereof instructeth very much It is an high point of honour to be head and Lord over others so is it an high point of service It will not be impertinent to remember the words of a great Divine and devout Spaniard to his great Lord b Avila's Spirituall epistles 15. pag. 130. which are these Looke upon the Lord of men and angels whose person you represent He that sits in the place of another it is but reason that he have the properties
teach But now to instance in a creature most familiar with us and of the very lowest ranke A Dogge And not to speake of his logick which they say he hath and the Hunts-man discernes that so it is This we must note because it is so usefully noted to our hands A Dog will follow m Sâ—e Hist of the World 1 Book cap. 11. sect 6. Lege Lipsium Cent. 3. Ad. Bel. epi 56. c. Cent 1 epist 44. Cic. lib. 2. de natura deor paper 323. Scal. exerci 202. 6. his masters foot he will keep of the theife and the murtherer he will defend his master if he be strong enough if not and his master be slain for so we reade it hath faln out he will stay by the carkasse till he pine away with hunger or he will pursue the man of bloud and single him forth as if he would tell the beholders That is the man that kill'd my master All this a Dog will do and more then this though this is most strange as experience hath told us And why all this why because he hath received a dry-bone from his masters hand and sometimes a bit of bread Therefore will this Dog put forth his strength to the utmost in way of requitall for his masters peace and securitie Hearken unto this all ye that forget God hearken Will the Dog do all this for a dry-bone and an hard crust n 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Hex Hom. 9. What will they say for themselves who love not the Lord Jesus what excuse can they finde who forget their Good Master in heaven who feeds them and doth cloth them every day who doth preserve them every moment of the day from whose hands they receive all good and nothing but good nothing which they can properly call evill What will they say so St. Basill reproves unthankfull man so like a swine and fish so untameable so unteachable so farre faln even below a Dog I know not what some may thinke when they spie a Dog here and that he is here for this purpose to instruct his Master we may thinke him too low a servant very faithfull though he be for that purpose But what ever is thought this I think nay this I know and am sure of That there is not a Creature in the World which doth so mightily convince reprove ashame mans ingratitude as the dog doth how so Because he doth so much for so little And man doth so little for so much And let us observe it well and make this as familiar with us as our dog is for we shall have no excuse for the neglect of our service to that Lord who gives us to reape where we sowed not and to dwell were we builded not we shall have nothing to say why we are unmindfull of such a Master The dog hath led me a little beyond my mark but not out of my way my scope here is but this to shew that so we are degenerated so low are we falne the Beasts exceed man in their Naturals and men in their pure Naturalls make not that improvement of their senses for their Masters service their owne safety and mutuall comfort each with other as the Beasts doe no cause we should be proud of our Naturals And for Intellectuals being without that which the Apostle saith our speech should be seasoned with the Salt of Grace they may prove and ordinarily doe like Absoloms haire deadly So I remember a Knight that suffered upon Tower-hill acknowledged who had not returned his gifts to the glory of the Giver Nay more for wee hope better of him they make a man more miserable then the beasts that perish Achitophel is a sad example hereof so is Machevil who say the Italians so I learne out of Bishop Andrews rotted in pÌ„son Reason and speech they are the chiefe properties Ratio Orâ—tiâ— differencing man from a Beast Reason is the Crowne of a man his tongue his glory the same word in the sacred Tongue signifyes both But if man shall depose reason taking from it Hersoveraignty I mean in earthly matters then will a man be carryed like a horse that hath cast his rider and he will abuse his Tongue also vilifying that which should have honored him and in so doing he will liken himselfe to the most stinking place that we can passe by and to the most odious name that is named under the Sunne and so in the end will fall lower then a Beast can A Beast can fall no lower then the Earth nor doth it apprehend any evill till it feele the same and when it comes it is soone over and there 's an end Which remembers me of Pyrrhoes Hog that did eate his meate quietly in the Ship almost covered with waters when all the men there were halfe dead with feare But now reasonable Creatures are sometimes perplexed with unreasonable fears A mans apprehension may present evils that are not as impendent which may make his knees smite together and with all the apprehension of the time that is past and of that which to come may torment him too before he come to the place of his torment Bee not like the horse and mule then which have no understanding for then thy condition will bee much worse and lower then theirs in the latter end It may be I shall never call thee to an account nor live to see how thou hast thriven But consider this first what an Heathen Plut. de fraterno amore spake it is very worthy a childs consideration We are charged that we doe ill to none much lesse to a parent but it is not enough for a child not to hurt his parents he must doe them all the good he can his whole deportment must be such such his words and deeds that thereby he may glad the heart of his parent else it is wicked and unjust Marke it for thus much it implyes It is not enough that the child doth not actually or positively give the parent cause of sorrow that were monstrous he or she must not privatively rob them of their comfort or stop them of their rejoycing even this were impious and unjust It is not enough not to grieve the parent not to give them matter of sorrow the childe that doth not more doth not his dutie he must give them matter of comfort and gladding of hearts This a childes dutie let a childe thinke of it and that an Heathen spake it from whom a lesson comes double to a Christian Consider again what the Lord saith It is a people of no understanding therefore He that made them will not have mercy on them p Esa 27. 12. Consider with that Scripture what the Apostle saith q 2 Thes 1. 8. In flaming fire taking vengeance of them that know not God c. If this and that be considered Thou wilt cry r Prov. 2. 3. after knowledge and lift up thy voyce forunderstanding wisdome is the principall
wife out of Chrysostome Page 149. Grievances rancked under two heads What is only evill and to be feared Page 152. Evils Imaginary Reall The former how prevented Page 154. The bearing the latter silently and like a Christian supposeth two things greatly to be studied to Page 158. Snares they spring from two rootes how snares from plenty are prevented that our foote be not taken with them Feare a Catholike remedy page 163. snares from scarcenesse how to breake through them and how to carry and quiet our spirits in them 165. The houswifes charge how it may be discharged to wards children what the parents ambition touching them and servants our charge over them how neglected The houswifes duty engageth the Tongue that it bee apt to teach The eyes for over sight The hands that they be diligent and open mercy to the poore inforced to page 170. Diligence a great thriver well husbanding the present makes us secure for the after time The family the fountaine of society how ordered if it be as those families whose praise is in the Gospell The conclusion to page 175 CHAP. VII OLD-Age as an Haven we must doe as men arrived safe there What questions we must put to our soules the more to quicken us to the sacrifice of praise Many questions resolved into one to page 180. Two periods of this Age. I. Desired not welcomed A calme Time if youth hath not troubled it It must be imployed The lamp of our life must not now blaze-out to page 184. A grave complaint and counsaile page 186. who gives understanding 187. II. How burdensome those yeares The Grashopper a Burden When our time is shortest our expectation is longest a weake Body but a strong presumption how vaine to think we can turne to God then when we have turned from Him all our dayes It is not our Time nor Gods Time to page 192. Fooles delay Time Children of wisdome not so to page 193. Two lessons drawne from hence We must not wish for death in a passion Eternity when we may wish for death to page 196. Not trifle away Time Grave counsell to that purpose 197. Who may be said properly to live Groanes not discernable from what spirit they proceed 199. We make an Idoll of the last prayer What first to be done 221. Comfort in death Whence the peace of the Godly They taste not death they see it not c. Applyed to the Child concluded Faults escaped Page 29. line 12. of thy wings read whereof Page 50. line 34. covered read opened Not be hid Page 108. line 7. this read thy 109. Last line read imply Page 116. line 29. would read should These faults were found not sought for and because they marre the sense are noted so might many more if there had been will or leasure to have perused the Book The Remaines must stand as properly belonging to every person and presse and expect favour from every one who knows himselfe partaking of the same common nature But if here are more faults then usuall our excuse is that the coppy could not be made legible by the Authors own hand and being written by another was the more wanting in stops and otherwise and we keep to the Coppy A CHILDES PORTION The Second Part. Respecting a Childe grown up CHAP. I. What we are taught by beholding our selves in the wombe and what by our outward frame of body I Shall now call thee back to look unto the Rock whence thou was hewen to the wombe whence thou was taken I shall begin with thee at the very beginning of thy being that thou maiest take a more cleare sight and consideration even there of Gods goodnesse thy Parents kindnesse thy self misery Assuredly there is no period of a mans age that yeelds him such a discerning as this point of time doth at which he first breathed in this world and so set forth to runne his race Therefore I shall reduce thee now to thy primitive originals and as it were lay thee again in the wombe whence thou didst spring That in this way of reduction thou maiest take speciall notice of two main and principall points whereon so much depends 1. Thy outward frame of body 2. Thy inward frame of spirit Of the outward frame here § 1. Here take notice of God first and of His goodnesse laid out upon thee when of nothing thou wast made something some few dayes before thou wast a meere nothing That which never shall be was in as great a possibility of being as then thou wast And when thou wast something Iob tels thee what it was that something was as much as Mar. Au. Ant. Medit. li. 10. Sect. 26. p. 171 nothing to the producing of such an effect so an Heathen could say from such a beginning Of that nothing wast thou limmed or framed thence this curious work not the work of nature but of an Almighty-hand quickning Nature and actuating the same And in seven dayes for so experience tells us saith Hier. Fabricius the Physitian that frame P. 686. had its proportion of all parts And one half of that work but the better part indeed is more worth then a whole world thy soul so He saith who went to the price of soules § 2. And as thou must take notice of the hand that covered thee in thy mothers wombe so must thou take notice of the same hand for the same Hand it was that brought thee thence and none other but that If this hath not been told thee nor haft thou yet considered so much then beleeve me that the most curious searchers into Nature and the powers thereof which are great and strange in their extent and latitude they who have ascribed too much unto it even they have yet acknowledged at this point when the childe is brought to the birth and no power to bring forth that this is the finger of God this is the work of His hand And yet this sorrow in child-birth is not the same in all nor is the danger the Lord so dispensing therewith though the curse be common We know what the Mid-wives say touching the Hebrew women and common experience tels us also that some women there are who in this case speed better then their betters We read what our Geographer and Historiographer for he is both writeth concerning History of S. George Histo of the Sab. Geog. p. 32. the Spanish women and what he citeth out of Strab◠touthing a woman there who rose from one labour to another from labour in child-birth to labour in the field She was rather an Hedge-woman then a child-bed woman and it is with them many times as we heard But this we are sure of that is that burthen which is laid upon that Sex In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children and so wonderfull the Delivery is that we may say with the Prophet Thou art Psal 71. 6. He that took me out of my mothers bowels my praise shall be continually of
thee †1. And thou childe I suppose thee the eldest though I would make no difference here for whether the next in yeers or the youngest it will fit very well and instruct alike in the maine for which I intend it hast as much cause toconsider this as any other because of the sore travell thy mother had with thee I will not mention the travell of her soul for thee that Christ might be formed in thee though a travell it was also she was in hard labour with the greatest danger of her own life before thou didst such in the ayre of this She might have called thy name Iabesh 1. Chron 4. 9. because she bare thee with sorrow Such were the pains upon her and so heavy was that burthen which was laid of old upon that Sex that it pressed her out of measure above strength as if she must first go out of this world before thou couldest come in A strong engagement this to look up to Him with thankfulnesse who brought thee to the She sickned the 17. of August and died the 30. at 9. in the morning 163 1 when thou wast 4. yeers and 7. dayes old wombe and took thee thence and to thy parent in all due observance and it is as strong as ever though thy mother is not here I suppose thee the eldest she was taken from me and thee when thy fift yeer was currant and yet not seven dayes runne out of it Me thinks a childe grown up and reflecting on it selfe lying in the wombe and taken thence should observe a love in the mother as strong as Death All these turnings of stomack part of the mothers sorrow those throwghs afterwards as so many deaths such waters could not quench this love nor such floods of sorrow drown it nay all these were but like the Smithes water cast upon his fire which makes it burn the hotter and the clearer for all these sorrows are out of minde when the childe is in sight and serve but to encrease the love and to inhance the price of that sweet commodity the mother hath so dearly bought In one place of sacred Writ the mother is placed before the father Feare every man his mother and his a Lev. 19. 3. father It may be because the Mother is generally so neglected or because she so neglects her self I may not hit upon the true reason but I can tell a strong reason why at sometime the mother may be put as it were upon the right hand and why she should at all times be of high and honorable account with the childe for she hath bought it deare as they use to say so deare that evâ—n for her sorrow in Child-birth the childe must ever be her debter Suppose we the most dutifull and observant childe standing forth that ever yet was clothed with sinfull flesh telling the reciprocation of his duty and mutuall workings thereof towards The name and nature of the Stork Heb. his mother that he hath done towards â—er as the young Stork to the old the same say the Naturalists which once the old did to the young suppose all this the Mother could 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Hesiod c. Quinta aetas Homer Iliad 4. Lege Hex Baâ—ilii Hom. 8. answer all in few words Remember childe if thou canst the turnings of my stomacke not the least part of my sorrows the pains I felt every one as so many daggers to the heart sinking my spirits and throwing up my tyred breath as if I should never take it in again Should the mother say no more but this what she suffered for the childe though much sâ—e did for it afterwards And there is more then nature in it say some that so much she did unto it when it lay like a b Hom Odys l. 6. â—â—cretius man after a shipwrack cast up upon the shoare the most forlorne and helplesse creature that can be thought of in the world Should she I say but tell what she suffered for the childe when in the wombe and bringing thence she hath answered all the childe can say and left it farre in her books so farre that it can never get out death only cancells that bond The parent and the childe can never cut scores or strike tallyes for they can never lye even And so much that thou may est honour thy Mother for then thou art as a Ecclus. 3. 4. one that layeth up a blessing Mark that for by the rule of contraries he that dishonours the Mother is as one that layeth up a curse Honour thy Mother and forget it not †2. Thy Father too look to it thou dost not set light by A se migrat ab â—â—mine totus transit in bestianâ— patâ—â—â— pietatis â—â—memor gratiae gâ—aitoris oblius Chrysol de prodego Ser. 2. him so thou dost do it thou dost set light by his admonitions For that is a sinne which calleth down a curse from the Almightie And though I should not plead my right and thy dutie yet the Lord would do both Nay it I should pray against the curse as God forbid I should forbeare to do yet would it according to Gods ordinary dispensation certainly fall the arme of flesh being too short to keep it off He is the God of Recompences He looks up on the breach of that sacred band betwixt parents and children a Si gravaris â—â—scultare paâ— ontibus esto dicto audious carâ—sici quod si neque haic obedire suâ—â—â— â—bcâ—liâ—o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Cataâ—hâ—s Lutâ— and will require it That which Luther speaks is very notable and may winne much upon a stubborn childe if any thing will If thy neck be so stiffe that thou wilt not bow nor bend nor relent by all the perswasions entreaties of thy parents then expect that the Executioner shall bend thee If thou wilt not heare what thy parents say for thy instruction thou art like to heare what the Hangman saith for thy cutting off and destruction b Prov. 17. 11. Caâ—nâ—fâ—x Trâ—m Ephes 6. 1. Sicut â—ost Dâ—â—â— deligere parâ—â—tes 〈◊〉 est sic pâ—â—s quà m Deum impietas Châ—ysâ—st in Mat. Lat. tantum Hom 26. A cruell messenger shall be seâ—t to a Son of rebellion If thou wilt not put thy necke under the yoke thy parents would put upon thee which is no other but what God enjoyneth and for thy good annexing a large blessing thereunto If thou wiâ—t not submit to this easie and sweet yoke In the Lord for this is right thou must then submit to an iron yoke in putting thy neck into the executioners halter for that is but just So Doctor Lu. speaks in our plain English and addes thereto That the experience of all Ages have evidenced the Truth thereof And for the yet clearer evidencing the same This I adde further I have been young and am not farre from being old but never saw I a dutifull childe that went away
as befits the honour due to so sweet a societie And it were well if our sufficiency this way and means for the well ordering of our selves were well tryed as in some Common-wealthes it hath been before we are suffered to enter into so holy an order unbrideled humours and unreclaimed desires are not fit for this strait bond This band is straite and of any band holds in the shortest how ever we may think the contrary neither our own will nor the libertie we may take but right judgement sanctified reason and expediency must guide us else that which should suppresse sinne may increase and foment it and that which in true use doth refresh and comfort will weaken and exhaust nature They that marry marry not for themselves but for posteritie family friends matters of great importance and of great burden But few there are that consider it before-hand and therefore few that carry themselves as befitteth the ordinance orderly and honourably in it whence it comes to passe that that which is the greatest good proves the greatest evill the fuell of sinne and matter of the greatest discontent A man may live to fortie or fiftie yeares and yet be very unadvised here and so run on as the most do of whom we may say they know not what they do A due consideration before hand and care how to discharge this single cure would prevent all this and set a man in a ready way for a future blessing It was usefully answered to a friend desirous to know his friends resolution how fit it was for him being a single man to change his condition If your own desires said his friend finde you work enough to reelaime and keep them in you had best forbeare yet to take upon you more work in the charge over others If it be an hard taske to steere your little boat in a little River it is not safe to venter your little skill in steering a ship through a wide Sea m Lips cent 1. â—p 36. These words imply but thus much That every single person must examine himself well and seriously in this point how he hath discharged his single account how he hath ordered his little house himself And if he fall short here as certainly if he deceive not himself he will finde himself short enough Then he or she but we respect not sexes must think it as well a mercy as the very reason that God doth not trust them with more their unfaithfulnesse would be the more and their account the greater He that is not faithfull in a little will not be faithfull in more nor shall he have much committed unto him This intends every single bodies instruction more specially thine Take a speciall charge my childe over thy self rule well thine own house I mean thy self God hath made every man a governour there The poore man that hath none to govern yet may be a king in himself When thou hast learnt to rule thy own spirit thou wilt be fitter to be subject to anothers and to rule others also Look up to God and look well to thy affections that they get not the upper hand for then they will keep reason under foot Look well to thy outward senses and make a covenant there beguile not thy self with such a mockery 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. 〈◊〉 Pelus lib. 4. epist 24. See epâ—st 2. 3. 4. 12. ejusdem libri Quid hac voluntate mendacius Aug. de civit 14. 4. as this To pray against temptations and then to run into them If thou loosest thy command over thy self thou loosest thy self for thou wilt be as a citie without a wall where those that are in may go out and the enemies without may come in at their pleasure So where there is not a government set up there sin breaks out and Satan breaks in without controule This is a sacred Truth not to be doubted of Beleeve me now in what follows I have known many but more there have been whom I have not known who neglecting this single charge and casting off the government of themselves have poysoned all their springs of comfort at the very head o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eâ—â—p Her Fâ—r p. 46. and blasted their hopes in the very blossome and blocked up their own way to the comfort they greedily catched at but in a very shadow Nay which is more I have known them who have kindled a fire in their youth that hath consumed them in their age and some remaining coales have singed the childe not then born Know it a truth not to be doubted and so plain that it needs not explication therefore what is possible keep thy heart as a chaste Virgin unto Christ even to thy marriage day and ever Thy posteritie and the blessing upon them depends upon it And so much touching this so necessary a charge this so prime a duty The looking well to our selves our single charge Which cannot be to purpose unlesse these single persons look up constantly to God who is the chiefest Overseer Parents and others are but deputies under Him who leades us on and holds us in every good way and hath said I will not leave thee nor forsake thee * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Five negatives surely I will not verily verily I will nor Heb. 13. 5. And this so great a businesse they must commend unto Him for it is a chief point of their charge with the same earnestnesse as they desire to succeed and prosper in it Our Lord Christ spent that whole night in prayer before He chose His disciples Thereby teaching us weak and frail creatures who have no subsistance of or in our selves but all from and in God what we ought to do at all times but more especially then when matters of importance are in hand It is of great importance how and in what manner matters of importance are entred upon and begun where we may note that nothing shall prove a blessing to me which I have not commended to the Lord and gained it from Him by prayer so then the young persons must look up to that hand that disposeth all things and to that hand they must submit They must leave God to His own time they must not tie Him to theirs He is wise and wonderfull and accordingly doth He work for those whose hearts are stayed upon Him I have observed those who have waited Gods time which is ever best He doth all things well and in their season so preferred in their match at the last that it hath quite exceeded their own expectation and the expectation of their friends and this at such a time when they least expected and had the least hope I have certainly observed it so They that wait on the Lord shall once say they are remembred and in a fit season But they who like an unserviceable piece of Ordinance flie off before they are discharged they who will put out themselves before their time have broken
and for her life let it be with her full consent 4. It is proper to the parents charge and it is a point of their wisdome also to be watchfull herein that the parties have as little sight one of the other as well may be till there be some likelihood of proceeding And then but sparingly too till the match be made up There are two things necessary in all matters of weight That we have Argus his eyes and Briareus his hands b Prima actionum Argo committtenda sunt extrema 〈◊〉 De Aug 6. 41. p. 201. That is that we walk leisurely and circumspectly looking with all our eyes and deliberating with all our counsels before we determine and when so we have done then to dispatch speedily Young folk are good at the latter they will conclude quickly they are quick at dispatch but in point of foresight they are no body They spell the rule backward they dispatch first and deliberate afterwards which causeth so much trouble in the house and sorrow in the world They think not what they do they do to eternitie Parents must balast them here for they are like a ship without it Parents must foresee and forecast with all their eyes and more if they had them before young folk go to farre in this businesse Let this objection be nothing I must eat good store of salt with him or her first whom I would make my friend afterwards There is some use in it but not here betwixt young parties If their affections meet for the present they examine not what may cause a disagreement hereafter Let the parents look to that and judge of their dispositions they may do it and they ought the younger parties cannot their judgement is steeped in affection as was said they have little discerning further then as may fit the present but one or both can so intangle themselves and very quickly that if the match should break the weaker breaks with it and carrieth the trouble of it to the grave I have observed it so also and I tell no more but mine own observations all along Let them have as little familiaritie one with another as possibly may be till the match be made up and then as befitteth Christian modestie 5. And now I suppose the match treated upon proceeded in and concluded in such a way as is most agreeable to Gods will and word for in so doing we may expect a blessing There is but one thing remains as a close to that great businesse The solemnizing thereof according to the same rule And here we require the parents care and circumspection at no point or circumstance more wanting yet at no time more needfull for it is the last and chief point of their duty and evidenceth what their sinceritie hath been in all they did before touching their proceeding in and concluding the match They must remember now and consider with all consideration That they are on this solemne day laying the foundation of a new house or familie now we know what care we take in laying the foundation They are now so joyning two that they make two one and this they can do by joyning hands but there is but One and He onely that can joyn hearts and keep them joyned That marries them to Himself and each to other making them that day and all their dayes of one heart in one house This is a great work and peculair to Him who is one God blessed for ever Therefore a main point of circumspection it is that they do nothing this day whereby to offend His eyes who gave them their childe all that is lovely and comfortable in their childe all the good they have or can expect Who makes a Vnitie and keeps a Vnitie in the bond of peace Certainly I am upon a great point of duty O how carefull should we be that we give no offence here And yet how is this care wanting May we not complain here as Chrysâ—stome in his dayes c In Gen. 24. verse 67. Hom. 48. â— Hom. 56 â— Tom. 5. ser 18. How are marriages solemnized and in a manner how uncomely for Christians in such a manner with such preparations as if the purpose and intent were that the devill should be the chief guest called in thither and a blessing shut out I remember the same Fathers words in another place If the minstrells be within Christ is without or if He doth come in He turns them out d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 In Coloss cap. 4. Hom. 12. â— I will not say so lest I should strain the Fathers words for I cannot take his meaning so Musick is a science not to be despised and though it be not congruous for mourning yet it is for a feast I suppose there we are now And though we are so yet this I will say and all that have common reason will say so with me where such songs are as are usuall at such feasts there Christ is not that is certain He is excluded and let parents well consider what a guest they have shut forth such a one who hath done all for them from whom they expect all for hereafter And here now thou that art a parent shalt be judge in thine own case supposing it to be thus Thou hast no means whereby to preferre thy childe none at all thou couldest not give it so much as her wedding clothes But a friend thou hast who would do all for thee all to thy very hearts desire and more Tell us now wouldest thou forget this friend on the wedding day no sure that thou wouldest not who ever was forgot he should be remembred sure enough Thy engagement to the Lord Christ is much more and much stronger I cannot tell thee how much more but infinitely more that it is canst thou then forget to invite Christ to the wedding Certainly no if reason or civilitie can prevaile any thing nay before and above all or else it is nothing for He must be chief and Lord where He comes thou wilt as the same Father adviseth call Christ thither 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 In ep ad Coloss Hom. â— for certainly a marriage feast cannot be well ordered if it be not as once it was even thus And both Iesus was called and His Disciples to the marriage f John 2. 2. Object Suppose it so and the parents have quitted themselves well for things are done decently and in order But now here is a grave question for thus it will be said Great reason we see that we should invite Christ but how can we do it Answ He is in Heaven and we are on earth He is a spirit we flesh That is very true and it is fit ye should know it that ye may keep your distance and answerably addresse your selves And when ye have done so according to knowledge then observe an Analogie or congruitie in this businesse as thus would you know how you may invite Christ As thou doest
discipline revive again All these examples charge the man still and good reason that he should be accountable being principall and the head of the family the chiefest pillar in it that holds up all And though the wife be as she should be more faithfull in her place then Bibulus in his office yet the husband carryeth the chiefe name of all being the more worthy person and Lord in the house And the wife is well content with it she counted the husbands honour here and so it is And being alwayes as the Moon is sometimes with the Sun in a full aspect with her husband then she casteth the greatest lustre then she is most bright Similies must not be strained Angâ—riari Parabolam too farre Wives must not shine then the brightest when the husband is farthest off though then also though not her clothes yet her vertues may shine the clearer for then her wisdome in governing and commanding doth fully appeare when the husband is farre off And her husband is knowne thereby Hee sitteth among the Elders and her owne workes shall praise her in the gates A good wife is still in full aspect with her husband Certainly it is the comeliest sight in the world To see man and wife going in all things as Peter and Iohn went to the Temple together d Act 3 1. it was spoken of before e Epist to the first part where there are cloven hearts and divided tongues there is no edifying in that house but a Babell of confusion rather But now suppose the case as it is too ordinary that the man is the weaker vessell the head goeth the contrary way it is so surcharged or the heart is so like a stone suppose the case so that the head is so distempered and Nabal-like that it cannot leade the way how then This is a crosse in the way and a great one but it must be taken up and borne and the wife must as was said f Pag. 104. speake good of it we must not chuse every day If the choice is made and the two are yoaked they must draw as well as they can and be content They must use all the skill they have to fit the yoak to their Neck else it will prove an yron-yoake Before I have chosen I may fit my choice to my mind when I have chosen I must fit my mind to my choice before things might have beene otherwise now they cannot I must not now goe Crosse to my Crosse for that is to make it a double Crosse Patience and meeknesse in bearing and forbearing g Prov. 25. 12. and 15. very notable wins much upon a contrary disposition and at length may overcome it but if not and the labour be lost yet as saith the h Chrysost Tom. 5. de Lazcon 1. Greeke Father applying it to Ministers waiting when God will give repentance the reward will not be lost no nor the labour neither for if the wife cannot better her husband yet she will make her selfe the better as the old saying is i Mariti â—â—tâ—um aut tollendum aut fâ—renduâ— quae tollit maritum commodorem praestat quae seâ—t sâ—se meliovem facit Aul. Gell. lib. chap. 17. and it concernes the wife as well as the husband But how bad soever the husband be his badnesse shall not beare her out nor have her excused for the neglect of her proper duties and walking with God in his wayes nothing shall plead her excuse for any neglect therein We are apt to quarrell with our blessings much more with our crosses and with that calling that God hath set us in and allotted us unto But assuredly that excuse shall leave us speechlesse though we thinke every thing will be of weight sufficient to have us excused yet we shall find it but a meere conceit nothing is of weight sufficient to excuse from the doing of duty k First part p. 174. it shall not be an excuse for the man to say Lord I had done my duty as thou commandest but that Thou gavest me a scoffing Michal nor shall it serve the wife to say Lord I had done my part had I not been yoaked to a Nabal The man failing in his dutie shall not hold the wife excused for her failing in hers If the man leades ill the woman must not follow ill it was a good answer to an abusing and an over-bearing commander Doe you what you will I will doe what I ought l 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The headhath an head All things shall be done as you will have it but you must command as God will have it The wife looseth her fathers name and must forget her fathers house but she must not forget her Lords charge nor her vow in Baptisme nor the name was called upon her then Her head hath an Head and therefore she must say to her husband as Ignatius to the Priest All things shall be done as you will have it but then you must command as God will have it m Ignatius to a Priest Chrys Tom. 6. in vet â— Princip p. 10. Chariuâ— The husband must command in the Lord and so must be obeyed if otherwise yet he must not put out the eyes of his wife she hath a light to guide her besides her husbands false rule The husbands exorbitancy from his rule will be a crosse and no small one a block in the wives way and a very clog hindering that she cannot walke on with speed alacrity and comfort but is so farre from warranting the wives aberration from the way God commands to walke in that it the more binds and engageth her unto it her bond is rather the straighter as her praise will be the more And this we must still note Not to obey as we should is more dangerous to society then not to command as we should though they shall not be unpunished that are carelesse in either being both the fountaine of all humaine society If the wife must stand alone so farre from an helper that her husband is an hinderer then she stands single and charged but with her single duty I and my maidens saith a woman a Queene that had attendants answerable to her state yet she would seeke God in His owne way so should her maydens too Esther 4. 16. indeed she lived apart and therefore might much better maintaine her authority It is not easie to maintaine it there either over maidens or children where the husband in presence will foolishly and unworthily contradict or slight the same But however the wife must doe her duty I and my children I and my maidens Ester is a cleare patterne who lived apart from her Lord. And if that comes not so home Aâ—igals carriage is exemplary who was very unequally yoaked But now for I cannot passe over this point lightly that the husband and the wife may draw even though the yoake seeme to be or indeed is uneven let them consider the husband first