to consider Gods ordinance his promise and their owne necessity c. by commanding them to lay aside all such cares thoughts and affections as might hinder them from a diligent hearing To the Sacraments they must prepare them by willing them to consider of Gods institution the ministerie of his Sacraments his mercie in Iesus Christ their faith their repentance and their wants that so seeking assurance of grace of reconciliation and comfort they may come preparedly to the Lords table Againe to further their profit they must diligently examine them what they haue learned what vse they can make of such doctrine also helpe and direct them wherein they faile Thus did our Sauiour Christ his Disciples Besides they must call vpon them for the practise of that which they learne out of the word that the word grow not to a common matter of no further vse but to talke of vpon the Sabbath day The fourth speciall dutie that belongeth to instruction is the vse of Gods workes either past or present as of examples of his mercie and goodnes to be encouraged by them to trust in him by workes of his iustice to be moued to feare him and so to sow the seed of conscience and religion in them Thus did Abraham Gen. 18. 19. which care of his moued the Lord to reueale to him his purpose of destroying the Sodomites The duties which they are to require of them concerning godlines be to vse the publike ministery carefully to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sorts and to make their vse of it to the building vp of themselues in faith And 〈◊〉 to practise all holy and Christian duties which being comprised briefly in the Commandements are more largely layed open by the publike ministery of the word and by priuate Catechizing But after what maner must they require these duties We answer not onely by telling of them what they must do and calling vpon them for the doing of it and by gentle admonition when they be backward but also by correcting them if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practice thereof This correcting is either by Rebuking or Chastising them according to the quality of the fault the condition of the partie that is so to be dealt with A rebuke is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour or knowne wickednesse of any with condemning of the same by the word of God whereby they may haue shame that others might feare Correction is a sharpe thing and therefore not easily borne of our nature which is full of selfe-loue and through the corruption of nature it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnesse sturdinesse and naughtinesse where it is not wisely dealt in Now the better to minister correction with more hope of doing good by it we must consider First the end of correcting Secondly the matters for which correction must be giuen Thirdly the manner of correcting 1. The end in correcting must not be to wreck and reuenge thine anger or malice or to reuenge thy selfe for any iniury done nor yet alonely the preuenting of the like hurt by the like fault afterward but in zeale of Gods glory who is dishonored by the lewdnesse of the offender and in loue to the party thou must seeke by wise correction to reclaime him from such euill as bringeth danger to him to make him more carefull of his duty afterwards Herein they faile who in correcting haue no respect but to their owne commodity 2. For the matters that deserue correction this is a rule that there must be no rebuking much lesse chastising but where there is a fault For where any is vniustly corrected besides the iniury it hurteth him by hardning him against iust correction For he will thinke that it is the rash hastinesse of his gouernor that putteth him to smart and not his owne desert By fault I meane not onely the committing of that which was forbidden but also the omitting of that good which was commanded But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction sometime ignorance mistaking ouersight and a desire to please in one thing maketh inferiors to offend in others Except there be contempt or willing negligence or retchlesse ouersight a gentle admonition may serue And indeed superiours must take heed of comming to the greatest remedies of correction too soone for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing which by a wise proceeding by degrees might haue bene gained Furthermore Gouernors must know yet more expresly for what to correct Some neuer correct but for their owne matters neuer regarding the faults committed against God But the godly gouernour that aimeth at Gods glory and seeketh the Lord and not himselfe is most grieued for those disorders in his family that tend to Gods dishonour and such he correcteth most carefully And as for the defaults of his family that are against himselfe he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them then to his owne hurt or losse in zeale of God is drawne to correct and not of selfe-loue He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction if any delight in the ignorance of God or be carelesse to approue himselfe as one that wholly dependeth on him loueth him feareth him reuerenceth him laboureth to approue all his wayes before him if any be giuen to idolatrie and superstitiō careth not in euery part of the worship of God to follow his reuealed will or if in the parts commanded he appeare negligent cold or put them to any other vse then is commanded or be giuen to images or superstitious monuments customes occasions or such like if any dishonour the name of God either in the vnreuerent vsing or abusing or 〈◊〉 and not vsing it with that preparatiō before feeling at the present time and fruit after which is prescribed his titles word Sacraments or works if any prophane his Sabbath by vaine pastimes and gaming as cards dice dancing c. going to playes or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed for that day out of the Word if any neglect speciall duties towards their equals superiours or inferiours in yeares gifts authority as Magistrates Ministers Maisters parents seruants children or people if any declare not a conscience to fly euill anger malice contention quarelling fighting or any hurting of the person of man either in soule or 〈◊〉 being carefull to succour the same according to his calling if any be found vnchast in bodie words countenance or gesture vntemperate in diet in apparell dissolute not caring to maintaine the contrary holinesse in himselfe and others if any be not carefull to preserue the goods of another man or shall by falshood flattery and oppression diminish the same if he be negligent in increasing of his owne by honest and lawfull meanes or mis-spend them in cards dice gaming c if any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to
but coldly and for custome sake at the Church and God accepteth no more of their worship they do there then they loue and like of his gouernment in their houses The Gouernours of families if as it is in mariage there be more then one vpon whom the charge of gouernment lieth though vnequally are first the chiefe gouernour which is the Husband secondly a fellow-helper which is the Wife These both do owe duties to their familie and dutie one to another The duties they ow to their familie both concerning godlinesse and the things of this life belong either to the Husband especially or to the Wife especially The duties that belong to the Husband touching holinesse are such as either He must 1. Performe to them of his familie 2. Or require of them The duties which he must performe to them are first touching the publike ministery of the Word to prouide that they may liue vnder an ordinary ministery of the word or else to take order that alwayes vpon the Sabbath and at other times when it may be they resort to such places where they may haue the word ministred vnto them for else how shall they be brought into the Sheepfold of God from which naturally they go 〈◊〉 but by hearing the voyce of the chiefe Sheep-heard speaking vnto them by those whom he sendeth How shall they belieue and so be begotten againe by the seede of the word except they heare such as God sendeth for the begetting of men vnto him How shall they be reconciled vnto God but by hearing his messengers into whose mouthes he hath put the word of reconciliation How shall they grow in faith and increase in grace but by receiuing with meeknesse the ingrafted word which is able to saue their soules Seeing then the word preached is the meanes to beget men to a new life and to nourish them in it a great dutie lyeth vpon the Gouernours of Familyes to prouide by some meanes that they may haue it For where the word is not preached there the Lords Sabbath cannot be hallowed as it ought Now the Lord would not onely haue Maisters of Families to keepe holy the Sabbath themselues in all the parts of his worship publike and priuate but also that euery one should in his seueral place and roome carefully to take order that so many as be committed to his charge should sanctifie the Lords day as well as himselfe Which though it be true in all other commandements namely that whatsoeuer we are bound to do our selues we must be meanes to further others in doing the same because the loue of God and of our Neighbour spreadeth it selfe ouer all the Commandements and therfore though it be not expressed it is necessarily vnderstood yet in the fourth commandemēt it is so much the more required because besides the analogie and proportion betweene it and the other Commandements which do enforce it the very words themselues do binde vs thereunto For when it is said Thou and thy Sonne and thy Daughter thy Man-sernant and thy Mayde though it speaketh by name onely of resting vpon the Sabbath yet because the end of that is that the day might be sanctisied looke how many reasons there be to binde the inferiours to rest and the superiours to prouide that they do so indeed so many are there to compell them to sanctifie the day in their owne persons and in so many as belong vnto them Therefore when first of all it is generally said in this fourth Commandement Remember the Sabbath-day that thou keepe it holy And afterwards The seuenth day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God that is which must be dedicated vnto his seruice in the end you must therfore rest that you might serue him in it as he requireth and then nameth the seueral parties that should rest His meaning is to declare the right end of their resting and so speaking by name to the Gouernours saith Thou and thy sonne and thy daughter thy man-seruant and thy maid the stranger that is within thy gates to shew vnto them that it is not sufficient for them to looke that they vnder their gouernmēt should rest vnlesse they sanctifie the day of rest also which they must be so much carefull of by how much the sanctification of the day is greater then the ceassing to worke vpon it as the end whereunto this is but referred and therefore if it be a sinne in them at any time not to haue a sufficient regard vnto them that they do not worke then it must needes be a great sinne if that through their negligence they do not sanctifie and keepe holy the day of rest So that here the Lord God requireth that in all places there should be such good lawes publickly in the Common wealth and priuately in mens houses established and diligently executed as thereby not onely the rulers but also all in subiection should be compelled to sanctifie the Lords day and that they should be sure they do it indeed And as he must not leaue it indifferent to them to choose whether they will work or rest and so thinke it sufficient that they do not lay any worke vpon them So is it not enough that they hinder them not from seruing God vpon that day vnlesse they procure all the meanes vnto them whereby God might be worshipped of them and see that they worship God in them as well as themselues Therefore the maisters of families must prouide as much as lyeth in them that the word be publikely preached where they dwell not for themselues alone but for their children and seruants take that they might keepe holy the day together with them and they must not onely come themselues to the place of common-prayer and diuine seruice but bring these also with them and spend the rest of the day in all priuate godly exercises themselues and cause others to do so also And here lest this might seeme too heauie vnto vs and that it might not be grieuous to take so great a charge vpon vs we must remember that as we haue great helpe by our inferiours in many things so the Lord woud haue vs to helpe them in the chiefe and princîpall and as he hath made them our seruants so we should make them his seruants and when they haue serued vs sixe dayes we might cause them to serue him vpon the seuenth And as the Lord hath preferred vs aboue them with their seruice so he would humble vs with this charge and care ouer them or rather exalt vs in that he would haue vs to be as it were the ouerseers of his worke and not onely serue him our selues but also see his seruice done by others committed to our charge which if ye do not wherein shall the Christian Gouernours of Householdes differ from the Infidels and Heathen and what greater thing shall we do for our Seruants then they Nay what shall we do more for them then
for the bruite beasts and cattell that worke vnder vs to whom we giue rest and ease from labour vpon the Sabbath if we cause them not to Sanctifie the day of Rest in which they shall differ from all other not onely Beasts but Men. And this is the meaning of that Law which Moses gaue to the Israelites Commaunding them to write the word of God vpon the Postes of their houses and vpon their Gates Whereby all vnder gouernment were taught what should be required of them so long as they liued in those houses namely to serue God and all gouernours were taught what specially to looke after in all them that went in and out of their gates and liued vnder the roofe of their houses euen to serue the Lord in all parts of his worship for which end he hath giuen them such authoritié ouer them According to which Commandément the worthie Captaine of Gods people Iehoshua made this protestation before all the Elders of Israel a little before his death exhorting them to do the like I and mine house will serue the Lord promising not onely for himselfe but for all his which though it was too hard to do yet because he knew how many meanes the Lord had giuen him to bring it to passe which also God would blesse as all godly exhortations admonitions and chastisements whereby if they did not profit he had authoritie to thrust them out of his house and to rid himselfe of them all which he was purposed to put in practise therefore he was bold thus to speake of himselfe thereby shewing what all men should propound to themselues and may attaine vnto The like whereof Dauid speaketh of himselfe in that worthie Psalme 101. which is left as a patterne for all Christian gouernours to rule by wherein he sheweth how he would rule not onely himselfe but his household nay the whole kingdome by hauing an eye to them that were good to reward them and to them that were bad to punish them that so not onely himselfe but all his might serue the Lord. After the same manner in the time of the Captiuitie when the noble Queene Hester willed all the dispersed Iewes to keepe holy three dayes together in fasting and prayer that so they might intreate the Lord to deliuer them from that finall destruction and vtter ruine which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworne enemie of Gods people had determined to bring vpon them speedily she said That she and her maides would do the like Hest. 4. 16. Whereby no doubt she insinuated vnto them that in euery household her meaning was that it should be thorowly kept on all sides not onely of the rulers and some few but of all others euen vnto the maid seruants Now the Sabbath and the day of Fast are both of one nature as the word doth sufficiently beare witnesse Therefore if this hath bene the practise of the Church vpon that day to fast and not the chiefe alone but their families also then must we needes be perswaded that vpon the Lords day we ought our selues and our households to serue the Lord and to say with Ioshua I and mine house will serue the Lord and with Hester I and my seruants will doe the like And how could that haue bene verified of the religious captaine Cornelius which is written of him That he was a deuout man and one that feared God with all his household vnlesse he had not onely frequented the common assemblies vpon the Sabbath dayes but had also acquainted his seruants therewith Therefore as the Lord himselfe speaketh of Abraham who is the father of all beleeuers I know that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to do righteousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So it must be practised of all them that will be the children of this faithfull Abraham and enioy the same promise that he and his posterity did euen that they cause their children and their seruants to keepe holy the Sabbath wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord that so they might walke in that way which hath the promises of this life and the life to come So then it may most euidently appeare both by the words of the Commandement and by the practise of the best men in the old and new Testament that this dutie is laid vpon all householders diligentlyto ouersee the wayes of their families that they serue God as in all other duties so especially in sanctifying the Sabbath as they will answer to the contrary at their perill to him that hath put them in authoritie and as they will giue an account for their soules which otherwise might perish through their default Which though it be so strictly required of all men and vnder so great a paine laide vpon them yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that we may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it For besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therefore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or play and to do any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and do encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words there be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue indeed yet either through ignorance or negligence do not once looke to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and continue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bene already spoken concerning this matter that they do too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answer in his businesse which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe dayes when their seruants are in their owne businesse they wil not let them come and go at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they be at their worke but will be sure of it and therefore set them to it looke vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it be well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not then needs be a great vnkindnesse and vnthankfulnesse
Gods people in times past to the place of his worship that they haue not come scattered and alone but many together and by companies whereof the holy Prophet speaketh When I remembred these things I powred out my very heart because I had gone with the multitude and led them into the house of God with the voice of singing and praises as a multitude that keepeth a feast In which place the man of God complaining that he was banished from the holy Assemblies saith that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate when he vsed to go with a great companie to the Temple euen as to a feast whereby he declareth what was the manner of their going euen as men go to a market or to a feast not onely with ioy but also by companies and so many of one house as go will go together So they did not onely go to the house of God cheerefully but many of them together euen as to the market and feast of their soules By which practise of theirs as the doing of many is condemned so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit then they were and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they go vnto For all the people nay the seuerall housholds come not together but scattered and one dropping after another in a confused manner First comes the man then a quarter of an houre after his wife and after her we cannot tel how long especially the maid-seruants who must needs be as long after her as the men-seruants are after him Whereby it commeth to passe that either half the seruice of God is done before all be met or else if the Minister tarry till there be a sufficient congregation the first commers may be weary and sometimes cold with tarrying before the other shal be warme in their seates Now if it be demanded of the maisters why they alone make such hast and leaue all the rest behind them they answer truly because the time is come wherin vsually publike prayer beginneth can they be perswaded that it is time for themselues to come as it is indeed and yet no time for the rest to come with them Hath the maister no longer time to tarry and haue his seruants time to tarry so long after him As though there were one law for him and another for them or rather that the same law of the Sabbath which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doth did not as forciblie bind them all as himselfe nay did not binde him to looke to them that they should keep holy the day as well as himself which if he graunt to be true yet is not able to bring it to passe where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake partly through the frowardnesse of his wife and partly through the obstinacy of the rest in his familie his case is to be pittied and he is rather to be gouerned then to gouerne and he might do well to set vp one of them in his stead seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused and is contented to be ouer-ruled by them in the chiefest thing Therefore that he might bring this matter happily to passe as he must go before them by his owne example and be readie betimes euen first of all so he must earnestly call vpon them for this dutie and exhort them vnto it and the slower that they are and the more they draw backe the more fotward must he be and by his practise and words draw them forwards also For this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time I reioyced when they said vnto me we will go into the house of the Lord or Let vs go to the house of the Loŕd for they are words of exhorting and incouraging one another thereunto euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth that this shall be the zeale of Gods people in the time of the Gospell that they shall go together to serue God and therefore call vpon one another for the same purpose saying It shall be in the last dayes that the mountaine of the house of the Lord shall be prepared in the top of the mountaines and shall be exalted ' aboue the hils and all nations shall flow vnto it and many people shall go and say Come and let vs go vp to the mountaine of the Lord to the house of the God of Iacob And truely this want of zeale in vs to Gods worship and loue to the saluation of our brethren bewraying it selfe in the neglect of this duty of calling one vpon another is the cause of this slownesse For the husband going first out of the doores saith to the wife Make hast and come assoone as you can she comming at her leisure giues the same charge to her seruants Dispatch and tarry not long behind but here is no saying Come let vs go Let vs go together and if it be once said it is not pursued that it might be performed In going to market and to a feast what earnest calling will there be vpon one another and it would seeme strange to behold the houshold go diuided and it were a thing that would much be marked and euery one that knew vs and whither we were going it should be the first question they would ask vs How chanceth this that you come alone Where is your husband your wife or your children Why come you not together So no doubt the dispersed and broken comming of housholdes to the Church is a thing greatly obserued of the Lord God and of his Angels which are present at their assemblies and it is that which grieueth the rest of the Church and as soon as they see one come in alone they are ready with grief to ask Where are the rest What meaneth this partie to come alone Therefore let all Gouernours be perswaded that it is their bounden dutie thus to looke to their families and to be sure that they sanctifie the Lords day as well as themselues and that they not onely thus bring them to the publike ministerie but also looke vnto them that they spend the rest of the day in holy exercises so much as may be examining them in that which they haue heard and causing them to conferre about it themselues and to appoint some to reade the Scripture vnto them and all of them to sing Psalmes and generally whatsoeuer they haue seene before that they ought to do themselues to call vpon their seruants for the same and to take such order that they be sure they do it and let them be sory that they haue neglected this duty so long heretofore thereby haue charged so many sinnes of their houshold vpon themselues and now at the last in Gods holy feare let them begin to put this in practise lest they do further prouoke the most patient Lord to their endlesse destruction And though it be a thing
alwaies be open to speake ill to misconster thy actions and to blaze abroad thy infirmities and scapes He that would haue no enemies must make himselfe none by vniust vnkind or vnneighbourly dealing but he must rather by couttecusnesse of speech helpfulnesse and good neighbourhood win the loue and liking of men yet a man may be too wise in this point Many being Ioth to incurre any mans displeasure will not seeke to vphold right and equitie they will not speake for the poore nor stand out to maintaine Gods cause when he is dishonored by open sin as swearing lying rayling and such like Many to keepe in with all vse all companies alike for auoiding a mans company breedeth a grudge But the good will of men is neuer to be purchased with forsaking of duty Such things as may iustly be ill taken auoyde for peace sake Whereof the Wiseman noteh some as medling in others mens matters He that medleth with a strife that belongeth not to him is as he that taketh a dog by the cares that is casteth himselfe into dangers 2. Be not hasty to go to Law no not in a right cause but agree at home For besides that a man doth seldome scape without great losse in which respect it is also to be auoided as an enemy to thrift thy neighbour is openly put to reproach he becometh thy mortall enemy and will alwayes watch to do thee hurt 3. Sometime to seeke recompence of a wrong breedeth greater malice in the authour of the wrong aud maketh him double it as a man spurreth his horse for kicking when he was spurred Say not I will recompence euill but wait vpon the Lord and he will saue thee 4. Ost haunting of another mans house may bring thee into mislike wherfore the Wiseman saith Withdraw thy foote from thy neighbours house lest he be wearie of thee and hate thee If by carefull auoiding of all iust occasions thou canst not auoide ill will as the world loueth none but her owne neuer seeke to win fauour by departing from duty but commit thy self to God and turne thy mind to make vse of thine enemy Let enmitie which is alwayes prying and seeking occasions to hurt by word or deed make thee to walke not more closely but more vprightly and then mayest thou defie thine enemy For be that walketh vprightly walketh boldly Another enemy to thrift which is also a breaker of peace and good will among men is much borrowing He that is to borrow doth spend much time and le ts slip many occasions of doing his businesse in the due season he must repay in better measure then he borrowed or else ill words or ill will will follow If it be a matter of any value which is borrowed then as Salomon saith The borrower is seruant to the lender that is beholding to him and in his danger The thriftiest men loue least to be beholding to others and therefore seldome seeke and often refuse euen when they be offered to receiue benefits at others mens hands He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing and euery deniall he receiues where he thinkes he should speed is the seed of grudge in the minde of the denyer of him who is denied But of all borrowing to borrow vp on vsury is the dearest buying and the rankest poyson to thrift When Dauid would wish a sore plague to his enemy he prayeth that he may be giuen into the vsurers hand Let the vsurer eate him vp If the vsurer be a deuourer woe be to them that come in his hands To auoide borrowing a good husband must cut off all vnnecessary expences that he may haue all necessaries in his house To auoide borrowing of money take heed of suretiship of dealing in bargaines which you are not fully able to compasse of dealing with many things and hauing too many irons in the fire at once Looke how you may compasse matters before you enterprise them Prouide long before against any day of payment and haue not money to seeke vpon the sudden for that driues a man to borrowing yea to vsury or to sell Robbin Hoods peny-worths Besides he must keepe none in his house idle or halfe set to worke none more then needes must Let euery one haue his charge that will throughly occupy him Also looke that they do their taskes euery one in his place and haue an often eye vnto them whether they haue done as they should do The maisters eye maketh a fat horse so also the mistris eye maketh a friendly dairy Except you haue rare seruants such as truly feare God and haue good consciences trust them not further then you see them except necessitie driue you Hitherto of the duties that be belonging to the chiefe ruler os the familie that is the husband touching honest prouision for it Now seeing that God hath ioyned the wife to her husband as an helper she must help him in the prouision for her family so much as lieth in her power and is meete for to do And indeed her industrie and wisedome may do much herein that though her husband should be much wanting in his dutie yet she might hold in the goale Thus many haue done and so Salomon saith the wise woman will do A wise woman buildeth her house But it is not euery womans case because that all are not wise as she that Salomon speaketh of This wise woman is els-where called a gracious woman Prou. 11. 16. And a vertuous woman Prou. 12. 4. because many graces and vertues meete together in her For she is To her husband dutifull faithfull and louing Towards those of her familie wise and prudent In her businesse diligent painfull Towards her neighbour modest humble kinde and quiet First if she be not subiect to her husband to let him rule all the hous-hold especially outward affaires if she will make against him and seeke to haue her owne wayes there will be doing and vndoing Things will go backward the house will come to ruine for God will not blesse where his ordinance is not obeyed This is allowable that she may in modest sort shew her mind and a wise husband will not disdaine to heare her aduice and follow it also if it be good But when her way is not liked of though it be the best way she may not thereupon set all at sixe and seuen with what should I labour and trauaile I see my husband taketh such wayes that he will bring all to nothing This were nothing else but when she seeeth the house falling to helpe to pull it downe faster Salomon saith The wise-woman buildeth her house much more then doth she vnderprop it and hold it vp that by her husbands vndiscreet dealing it be not pulled downe She must not thinke her selfe freed from dutie because he walketh not in his dutie but hold her place and labour for her part to vphold all and so God will either blesse the workes of her hands
instructed by these and such commandements approued and practised these espousals not only by themselues but also by their children Sampson liking and louing a woman of the Philistims in Timnah desired his father and mother to giue her vnto him to wife and so they did at which time Sampson made a feast according to the custome of the yong men Albeit her father afterwards would not suffer him to marrie her but gaue her to another for which iniury Sampson reuenged himselfe of the Philistims by burning vp their shocks and standing corne vineyards and oliues for which the Philistims burnt both the father and the daughter So Dauid begged Micholl of her father Saul who gaue her vnto him to wife with condition that he should bring him a hundred fore-skinnes of the Philistims and therefore when Saul was dead he required her of Ishbosheth Sauls sonne who 〈◊〉 her vnto him Also Ioseph and Marie the mother of Christ were betrothed which God would neuer haue permitted if it had not bene of his owne ordinance and agreeable to his owne will of if it might any manner of way haue stained 〈◊〉 her Iosephs honesty or Maries virginity nay if it had not much more graced and adorned both then the want of espousals could haue done And to auoyd rediousnesse in so plaine a truth seeing the Scripture giueth power and authoritie to parents to giue and not to giue their children in marriage saying Let him do what he will Againe He that giueth her in mariage doth well and he that giueth her not to marriage doth better whereof we shall speake more at large anone there must needs be before the publicke act of marriage some speciall time appointed wherein both parents and parties may testifie and signifie their mutuall liking and consents vnlesse they despise to marrie in the Lord. Wherefore if the law of Nature the Law of God the practise of the heathen the custome of the faithfull especially of the parents of Christ if the punishmēt of the espowsall-breakers and the rewards and priuiledges of the espowsed and finally if the fatherly authoritie ouer children do approue and require the continuall vse of this ordinance of God it must needs be confessed to be both lawfull and necessary yea being the first principall part of marriage it selfe it must needs be honourable in his kind as well as marriage it selfe is Now then in the next place let vs see and learne what a Contract is to the end that vpon sound knowledge and right iudgement we may alwayes vse it well and neuer ill for want of good vnderstanding A Contract is a voluntarie promise of Marriage mutually made betweene one man and one woman both being meete and free to marrie one another and therefore allowed so to do by their parents This short sentence sheweth the whole nature quality property vse and abuse with all other things that are to be obserued or eschued in a right Contract as shall appeare by the vnfolding of euery word contained therein for as there is none vaine and idle voyde of his proper signification so euery one hath his proper weight seruing for speciall and necessary vse 1. First we call a Contract a promise and so it is indeed for what is a promise but a speech which affirmeth or denyeth to do this or that with purpose and words of testimony to performe and accomplish that which is affirmed or not to do that which is denyed And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract but this so that it must be in nature a true and right promise not the vow of a promise in time to come but a present promise indeed For if one partie do say I will promise to marrie thee this is no promise indeede but a promise of a promise and consequently no Contract but a promise of a Contract and therefore tyeth not bindeth neither parties nor parents to keepe the same for it is not in nature any Contract at all Againe if a Contract be in promise it is not only a purpose of the heart nor a dumbe shew or doubtfull signification of promise but a plaine promise vttered and pronounced in a right forme of speech as when one saith I do promise to marrie thee or I do espouse affiance or betroth my selfe to thee in marriage or such like wherein all ambiguity and doubtfulnesse of speech is to be eschued that as the meaning of the heart is simple and plaine so like wise the words of the tongue might be simple plaine and voyde of all deceit 2. Secondly we call a Contract a promise of marriage because it is not a promise of euery thing neither of honour of inheritance of riches or of any other thing else sauing onely of marriage Now we meane by marriage not only the parties married but also coniugall marriage duties and offices that peculiarly belong to this honourable estate and are necessarily to be performed mutually of both For this promise touching persons themselues is of such force and weight that it tendeth to the alienation of the propertie of bodies for so it is written The wife hath not the power of her owne body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power ouer his owne body but the wife For although this is not perfectly done till the act of marriage be ended yet this promise is the principall beginner and worker thereof because they that promise marriage do necessarily thereby promise that two shall become one flesh and that they will alwayes giue mutuall beneuolence one to another Touching the peculiar duties of Husbands and Wiues which likewise are promised by this Contract we will here onely recite them leauing the doctrine thereof to another place and time 1. The Husband his duty is first to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouerne her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice 3. Thirdly to dwell with her 4. Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence honestly soberly and chastly 1. The Wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her Husband in all such duties as properly belong vnto marriage 2. Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to Gods ordinance 3. Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which he may command by the authoritie of an Husband 4. Fourthly and lastly to giue him 〈◊〉 beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasion to speake thereof Thirdly we call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lips alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart sor if it be onely a verball promise without any will at all and so meerely hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the party that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man
which haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and are fit for procreation are called and commanded to marrie and therefore may lawfully enter a Contract of the same But are none else meete for marriage We answer that no other is called commanded or warranted by God to make Contract with any of these meet ones because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage As for children vnder age they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate and therefore debarred by Gods Commandement from making any promise or Contract If they haue done it it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance worthy great punishment and also to be broken if that being come to yeares of discretion and state of mariage they do not by wisedome and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attempt to the full contentation of all that haue interest in them As for those that haue receiued the gift of continency they are called counselled to chastity during the whole time of that gift for so saith our Sauiour Christ All men cannot receiue this thing aue they to whom it is giuen Matth. 19. 11. And againe He that is able to receiue this let him receiue it So the Apostle saith It is good for them if they abide euen as I do 1. Cor. 7. 7. Againe Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife So likewise are those that are borne chast or made chast by men or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen But you will say What if any of these do make a Contract and marry We answer first if they be vtterly vnfit for marriage their contract is of no validitie and may be broken by superiour authority but if they be fit for it we say with the Apostle Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife but if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not and if a virgine marrie she sinneth not c. Last of all as consanguinity and affinitie do restraine and bind from this former Contract and marriage so likewise do naturall frigidity and coldnesse infancie incurable diseases that depriue men of all fitnesse for the vse of marriage So as if any such by fraud ignorance or any other sinister meanes be contracted it is nothing and the parties may be lawfully separated because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord but against the Lord. And here when we say meete and fit to marrie one with another there would be a wise and holy regard had of equality in yeares of agreement in religion or similitude in nature and manners outward estate and condition qualitie of person and such like necessary circumstances For what is more vnmeete then for an old person to promise to be contracted to a young one for an infidell to Contract with a beleeuer for a good natured and well mannered with a crooked and froward person for a Prince with a begger For although all these do not annihilate and make voyde the Contract altogether yet such Contracts cannot be in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to haue taught touching the fitnesse of Marriage Now concerning the freedome and libertie it is cleere that those alone haue liberty freedome to Contract who haue liberty to marry Now if we will know who those be they are diuersly described and noted in Leu. 18. where certaine degrees as well in affinity as in consanguinity are expresly forbidden so that if such parties shall Contract themselues together their Contract is vaine and a meere nullity such as ought to be broken and punished Againe euery one either betrothed or maried is bounden and tied from contracting with any other for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adultery And as the Apostle teacheth that the wife is bound by the Law as long as her husband liueth so likewise is the betrothed wife insomuch as if any such shall Contract themselues with another it is a meere nullity and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance and ought vpon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished And thus we see what manner of persons the Lord hath called and commanded to marry and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together and who not The last point is the consent and allowance of their parents which though it be very materiall and necessary yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true Contract For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children being neither meete nor free to be married together it were nothing such a Contract though warranted by parents cōsent ought to be broken by the Magistrate and both parents and children are to be punished For this cause we haue not said simply and allowed but therefore allowed so to do because consent of parents to such children as are not meete and fit to be married together doth not make that Contract good true and inuiolable which neuerthelesse wanting their consents though in other respects neuer so good is a meere nullity cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution and guilt of adulterie Now by parents we vnderstand not onely the naturall parents but such as by the law of nature and of God supply their places as grandfathers great grand-fathers vncles aunts great vncles and aunts brethren sisters kins-men and kins-women Magistrates and those to whose families the parties do especially belong For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of parents Neither may we exempt out of this number Gardians Maisters and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any is lawfully committed For if such be commanded to prouide for them as parts of their owne families there is no reason why they should not especially be respected as well in bestowing them abroad out of their familie as they were in taking them into it For if their consent be necessarie at their coming in why should they go out without their consent Further we say their parents and not his or her parents because parents on both sides ought necessarily to consent and allow their children to betroth themselues For this is the priuiledge not of some parents but of all and in that they be parents Moreouer we say allowed and not required neither commanded nor yet exhorted or instructed so to do because that albeit the parents do neither call their children to this Contract neither command them neither require them neither exhort them all which notwithstanding they ought to do yet if they do but onely allow them and giue them bare consent that they shall contract themselues it is enough for the tying of the knot and the substance of the Contract And to prooue that this contract is necessary we need no more reasons but that which the Apostle setteth downe saying of the father Let him do what he will By which words he putteth it in the will and power of the father either to
mother Mine owne deare husband and well beloued brother And if it be true that men do say that friendship maketh one heart of two much more truely and effectually ought wedlocke to do the same which farre passeth all manner both of friendship and kindred Therefore it is not said marriage doth make one man or one minde or one body of two but clearely one person wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater dutie of the husband to wards his wife and the wife towards her husband then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents The Apostle biddeth To reioyce with them that reioyce and weepe with them that weepe With whom should the wife reioyce rather then with her louing husband Or with whom should she weepe and mourne rather then with her owne flesh I will not leaue thee saith Elisha to Eliah so she should say I will neuer leaue him till death Beare one anothers burthen saith Paul Who shall beare one anothers burthen if the wife do not beare the husbands burden Wicked lezabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse and Ieroboams wife sought for his health though she was as bad as he God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie as he did bid her husband yet because he bad Abraham leaue his she left hers too shewing that she was content not onely to be his play fellow but his yoke-fellow too Beside a yoke-fellow she is called an helper to helpe him in his labours to helpe him in his troubles to helpe him in his sicknesse like a woman physition sometime with her strength and sometime with her counsell For as sometime God confoundeth the wise by the foolish and the strong by the weake so sometimes he teacheth the wise by the foolish and helpeth the strong by the weake Therefore Peter saith Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their wiues As if he should say sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell Abraham may take counsell of Sarah as Naaman was aduised by his seruant The Shunamites counsell made her husband receiue a Prophet into his house and Hesters counsell made her husband spare the Church of the Iewes so some haue bene better helpe to their husbands then their husbands haue bin to them for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish as he did the Iewes with the Gentiles Beside an helper she is called a comforter too and therefore the man is bid to reioyce in his wife which is as much to say that wiues must be the reioycing of their husbands euen like Dauids harpe to comfort Saul A good wife therefore is knowne when her words and deeds and countenance are such as her husband loueth She must not examine whether he be wise or simple but that she is his wife and therefore being bound she must obey as Abigail loued her husband though he were a foole churlish and euill conditioned For the wife is as much despised for taking rule ouet her husband as he for yeelding it vnto her Therefore one saith that a mankind woman is a monster that is halfe a woman halfe a man It beseemeth not the mistresse to be maister no more then it becommeth the maister to be mistresse but both must saile with their own wind and both keepe their standing Lastly we call the wife huswife that is houswife not a street-wife one that gaddeth vp and downe like Thamar nor a field-wife like Dinah but a house-wife to shew that a good wife keepes her house and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they be chast and keeping at home presently after chast he saith keeping at home as though home were chastities keeper And therefore Salomon depainting and describing the qualities of a whore setteth her at the doore now sitting vpon her stall now walking in the streets now looking out of the window like cursed Iezabel as if she held forth the glasse of temptation for vanity to gaze vpon But chastitie careth to please but one and therefore she keepes her closet as if she were still at prayer The Angell asked Abraham Where is thy wife Abraham answered She is in the tent The Angell knew where she was but he asked that we might see how women in old time did keepe their tents and houses It is recorded of the Shunamite that she did aske her husband leaue to go vnto the Prophet though she went to a Prophet and went of a good errand and for his cause as much as her owne yet she thought it not meete to go farre abroad without her husbands leaue The second point is that wiues submit themselues and be obedient vnto their owne husbands as to the Lord because the husband is by Gods ordinance the wiues head that is her defender teacher and comforter and therefore she oweth her subiection to him like as the Church doth to Christ and because the example of Sarah the mother of the faithfull which obeyed Abraham and called him Lord moueth them thereunto This point is pattly handled before in the first point as also in the duty of the husband to the wife As the Church should depend vpon the wisedome discretion and will of Christ and not follow what it selfe listeth so must the wife also submit and apply her selfe to the discretion and will of her husband euen as the gouernmēt and conduct of euery thing resteth in the head not in the bodie Moses writeth that the Serpent was wise aboue all beasts of the field and that he did declare in assaulting the woman that when he had seduced her she might also seduce and deceiue her husband Saint Paul noting this among other the causes of the womans subiection doth sufficiently shew that for the auoiding of the like inconueniences it is Gods will that she should be subiect to her husband so that she shall haue no other discretion or will but what may depend vpon her head The Lord also by Moses saith the same Thy desire shall be subiect to thy husband and he shall rule ouer thee This dominion ouer their wiues will doth manifestly appeare in this that God in old time ordained that if the woman had vowed any thing vnto God it should not withstanding rest in her husband to disauow it so much is the wiues will subiect to her husband Yet it is not meant that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath giuen her in the helpe and for the good of her husband but alwayes it must be with condition to submit herselfe vnto him acknowledging him to be her head that finally they may so agree in one as the coniunction of marriage doth require Yet as when in a Lute or other musicall instrument two strings concurring in one tune the sound neuerthelesse is imputed to the strongest and highest so in a well ordered houshold there must be a communication and consent
is the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they should giue vnto their wiues both in word and deed For as the common saying is such a husband such a wife For so much as marriage maketh of two persons one therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better be kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any wayes or to pride themselues in their gifts but either the one to endeuour to supply the others wants that so they both helping and doing their best together may be one perfect body 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning marriage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in all businesse and affaires Likewise when the one hearkeneth to the other when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other the one of them being alwayes louing kind courteous plaine and gentle vnto the other in words manners and deeds 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all honest things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cānot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them and so from thence-foorth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone And if one of them be angry and offended with the other then let the party grieued open and make knowne vnto the other their griefe in due time and with discretion For the longer a displeasure or euill will rages in secret the worse wil be the discord And this must be obserued that it be done in a fit and conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make great debate And if the wife would go about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then be no fit time to talke with him Therefore Abigail perceiuing Nabal her husband to be drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the manners of the other that they should thereupon forsake the company one of another for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the bony And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly prooued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state and marriage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued Sonnes sake would so blesse them and their marriage that they may so Christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all manner of medicines specially they that go nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very loathsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perillous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in marriage that they haue no need of such a medicine As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 1. 2. Prou. 7. 27 and 22. 14. and 25. 24. and 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue bene deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath bene already said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 2. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9. 10. Luke 8. 2. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9. 36. 39. 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shall find that it speaketh of the praise of as many and mo good women then men Yea and I am perswaded that if at this day a due suruey should be taken of all the men women throughout his Maiesties dominions there would be found in number moe women that are faithfull religious and vertuous then men Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Ephesians 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if he had said wiues cannot be disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that they must regard their husbands will as the Lords will But yec withall as the Lord commandeth that which is good right so she should obey her husband in good and right or else she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne For when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritts ouer thee And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should be subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his maister calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also in token that she should be subiect vnto him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her family this is one namely that she nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them foorth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God Besides it is hurtfull both for the childs body and also for his wit lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much 〈◊〉 thereby First nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her child
sted-mother that is one father and one mother dyeth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therefore to the end that both their loues may be seiled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did You must not looke vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people that he would be worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to them as Dauid came to the people after Saules death who said Though your Maister Saul be dead yet I will reigne ouer you So ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children will loue you as much as they did their dead father or dead mother For that man that is led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one And likewise she will account her selfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both For if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that they haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same which is the highest degree not onely of friendship but also of all bloud and kindred But step-mothers do more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections be stronger then mens and many times ouer-rule them and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned that they shew to those motherlesse children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnesse Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in steast of their owne mother to be to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and that he requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe wold it be to her heart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne body should after her death haue a step-mother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them Doubtlesse those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therefore alwayes haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto others so it shall be measured to you againe that is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children For he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not be like a stead-mother to hers vnlesse she be like a stead-mother to these Verily a good woman will be vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what Christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mitigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken and chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweete name of Mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and mind when she shall heare her selfe named Mother by any of her husbands children Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkind then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kind fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnesse and mildnesse vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kind louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of Mother 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the duty of wiues is that they do not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with gold but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God they be sober in outward apparell garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenesse meeknesse quietnesse and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie Chap. 2. vers 10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plaiting criping broyding curling and curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in few words then he hath spoken to the vtter dislike thereof For if a man should occupie himselfe and giue liberty to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride that many women are guilty of in this behalfe he should rather want time to write then matter to deliuer Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish them but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may be teene in Esay 3. 16. c. For so it falleth out according to the common Prouerbe that pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrary part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparell as best beseemeth their calling and degree So as by their good example they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe and so rather come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any way to exceed therein to the slander of their profession And let them not so much regard what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well be without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children THis dutie consisteth in foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen frō the cradle in the feare nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shame fastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue
when she was sent for of Dauid to be his wife she first bowed her selfe to the seruants and then made this lowly answer to him that brought the message Behold let thine handmaid be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord. Thirdly to admonish them louingly to salute their friends and acquaintance and generally all others whom they take to be Christians and brethren which consisteth in praying well to others wishing health prosperitie vnto them Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King 1. 17. Fourthly to put them in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they haue receiued it with giuing of thanks Fiftly to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed with humble crauing of pardon An example hereof they may haue in that vertuous and faire spoken matron Abigail as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25. 23. c. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw vpon them by the neglect of this duty and might preuent it and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others by meanes of it as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding of innocent blood saued her owne life with the liues of her familie and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter Againe parents must teach their children good manners and ciuill behauiour to rise vp to their betters to vncouer the head to make obeysance to be curteous towards their equals to be gentle and louely to their inferiours and louing and kind to all this is no lesse needfull for youth then their meate and their drinke Also to admonish them to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them Iob 32. 45. That they keepe silence while their betters are in place vntill they be spoken vnto and then they must make answer in few words without vnnecessary circumstances and directly vnto the matter And they may not be loud babling or hote in speech but cold and milde Prouerbes 17. Warne them that they do not interrupt or trouble others whiles they are in speaking Prou. 19. 20. Wherfore if children will keepe the bounds of good manners they must not be streperous or troublesome in talke but they must obserue and take their due time and course And if there be any thing spoken vnto which they would willingly make answer they must either curteously craue leaue of him that speaketh or else they must carrie it in remembrance vntill their turne cometh to speake which is the better of the twaine And further they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others and suffer others to speake by them for there is a time to keepe silence and so to heare others speaking for he that will haue all the talke passeth the bounds of good manners Moreouer parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gestures to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others which consisteth in these points 1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham Genes 18. 2. where it is said And he lifted vp his eyes and looked and lo three men stood by him and when he saw them he ranne to meete them from the tent doore Againe another example they may haue in king Salomon sitting vpon his regall Throne 1. King 2. 19. Bethsheba therefore went to King Salomon to speake vnto him for Adoniah and the King rose to meete her 2. The second is to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them And this is taught Leuiticus 19. 23. Thou shalt rise vp before the hoar-head and houour the person of the old man and dread thy God I am the Lord. But here we must warne you of a great abuse which for the most part is cōmitted in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neither you your selues neither your children nor seruants do know the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the Church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion Is this deuotion becomming Gods house Is not this all one as if a man should say Stay God here comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must do my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till he be past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God This doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then of God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answer him for it Is there no time to shew our duty towards men but euen then when we are about Gods seruice Why know you when man standeth before God how honourable soeuer he be he is but dung and filth and not to be regarded in comparison of him And let parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to rob God of his worship but there is an appointed time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter well admonisheth To all things there is an appointed time and a time to euery purpose vnder heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33. 9. that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knew he his brethren nor his owne children Euen so beloued our eyes and our minds and deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when we are in his seruice that we should not see nor regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second Chapter of the Gospell after Saint Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull child that euer was borne of woman yet when he was about his fathers businesse he said vnto his mother Woman what haue I to do with thee Which examples will teach vs that when we are about Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to be obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place Example of this we haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the three strangers as it is written Geneses 18. 8. And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which he had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eate Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. The fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this 1. King 2. 19. 5. The fift thing is that they giue
dutie of Children towards their Parents THis dutie of children as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they obey their parents and do serue them and also do feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their hearts and minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3. Thirdly that they patiently take correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and hearty prayers to God for them 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth AS the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authority of their parents to obey and ferue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and thy mother which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper-hand onely but in this that they loue them with all their hearts that they feare and dread them that they cheerfully do their commandements will and pleasure that they seeke their worship credite profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and that they owe to them euen their owne selues and all that they are able to do yea and more then they are able By this word Honour is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Theu shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to be loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whom next after God they haue their life and being together with so many great and continuall benefits Also the loue that parents do beare to their children besides so many their labours sorrowes troubles and vexations should bind them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heate them that they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones yet the experience and daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot and so take from children their duty to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Christ Iesus said Ye are children of the diuell Ioh. 8. 44. This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely towards such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their maisters euen towards such as be rigorous For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam euen those whom we know not yea out enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents although they should intreat vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deed And verily the principall cause still abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofs and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their child-like affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguisn weeping sorrow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and endure for them This loue must be accompanied with reuerence and respect and to say the truth albeit the name of Father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one Father euen he which is in heauen yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title and Image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon he vnderstanding that his mother Bethshebah was comming to speake with him arole from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and seated her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnesse neither his Royall-estate priuiledge him from this respect and honor due to his mother When the sonne doth execute magistracie or publicke office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a magistrate not as a sonne but when he is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honor or wealth do so despise their parents if they be of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of them So that that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a sonne But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother but said Mother aske and I will not denie thee And this do we the rather note also vpon an other consideration namely that his example condemneth the custome of these dayes wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base and contemptible that the children of Kings Princes yea euen of meane Gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Syr my Lord my Ladie Madame c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implyeth not onely this outward reuerence but also that we should so esteeme of them as that neither we our selues should despise them nor suffer others-to haue them in contempt And this are we to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ I honour my Father but ye dishonour me He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father against the false opinions and slaunders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of them but also will themselues so farre exceed as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lye vncouered called his brethren to shew them
farre foorth they are bound to obey their maisters that is Vsque ad aras so farre as Christian religion suffereth and so far forth as they may do it with an vpright conscience for otherwise if their maisters shall command them to do any thing that is vnhonest vnlawful wicked vniust or vngodly then they must in no wise obey it 1. Sam. 20. 28. c. and 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19. and 5. 29. The conditions of a good maid-seruant are that she be carefull faithfull patient neat and pleasing that she be 〈◊〉 quicke and handsome and of few words honest in her word deed and attire diligent in an houshold and haue skill in washing 〈◊〉 brewing sowing and spinning but chiefly in holding her peace Seruants must lay apart all euill conditions as pride vnfaithfulnesse brawling murmuring lying swearing and filthie communication picking stealing and tales telling If seruants would carefully marke and learne and so diligently practise these three short lessons following so doing no doubt they might both procure and purchase much quietnesse to themselues and also winne and get the great good will and liking of their maisters mistresses and dames thereby First that they would cheerfully go when they are bidden Secondly that they would come willingly and readily when they be called And lastly that they would remember to shut and sparre the doores after them The neglect and omitting of this last dutie may haply be thought no great matter but if such as be housekeepers will carefully obserue it they shall finde that they sustaine both lesse and hinderance by it And because it sometime hapneth that one seruant is too much charged with labour and worke and another of his fellowes hath more ease then worke one therefore should helpe another as we see by vse in our owne bodies when one leg is weary we can rest it on the other or when the right hand is ouerlaboured we can ease it with the left and when entercourse of loue and curtesie intreates and perswades not this fauour and kindnesse amongst them then should the maister himselfe command the negligent and loytering seruant to helpe and ease the weary and him that is well imployed and ouer-charged Againe seruants are to be admonished and put in mind that they do not as some do without all conscience make spoile and hauock of their maisters goods wittingly and willingly neither yet that they suffer any of those things that they are put in trust with through their heedlesnesse and retchlesse to be marred and lost but specially that they do not make spoile and wast of such broken meate as remaineth after their meales or at other times which doing is not onely an hinderance to their maisters profit but also a great offence to God who commandeth that such broken meate as remaineth be gathered vp and saued that so nothing be lost loh. 6. 12. Therefore to conclude let seruants apprentises both men and maids assure themselues that as they deale and behaue thēselues to their maisters mistresses or dames and their goods whilest they are seruants so likewise the Lord in iustice will cause their seruants to deale and behaue themselues to them when they shall come to be maisters or dames themselues so punishing sinne with sinne And as religious and godly maisters be very warie and circumspect when they hire and entertaine any seruants into their seruice that they be such as be godly honest and religious or at least such as will be tractable and obedient to such good order and godly gouernment as is or shall be vsed exercised daily in their houses but contrariwise such maisters as be prophane and irreligious haue no care or regard whom they hire or receiue into their houses so they will fit serue their turne for gaine and profit though they be neuer so Iewd vicious or vngodly in word or deed so likewise such as are Christian and religious seruants ought also to be very warie and carefull that they do not place themselues with any such maisters as are prophane and wicked or in such townes and parishes where there wants good meanes and exercises both of preaching and catechising whereby they may daily profit and go forward in that good course which they haue begun whereas on the other side such seruants as are without God irreligious and ignorant of the meanes of their saluation care not where or with whom they dwell nay they will not with their good wils come to dwell either in that towne or with those maisters where they shall be restrained and kept from swearing dicing carding tabling prophaning of the Lords day and other such wickednesse who in thus doing do flie from God and seeke and follow after their owne destruction FINIS Luke 2. 29. Gen. 30. 30. and 39. 5. c. Luke 4. 23. 22. 32. Rom. 2. 21. The profit of this booke Good books 〈◊〉 to climbe vp to heauen The rule of good gouernment is wisedome Pro. 24. 3. 4 Not carnall wisedome But learned out of the word Gen. 5. 24. Psal. 119. 3. Wisedome is great wealth Without wisedome whatsoeuer a man taketh in hand turneth to his owne hurt It is out of doubt that the wise and skilfull gouernmēt of a house is found out by Prudence defended by Science and conserued by Experience Whereof a familie cōsisteth The first sort are such as haue authority in the familie Who must vse their authoritie If the gouernour be charged with weighty affaires he may appoint one to gouerne his house as Abraham and Potiphar did Gen. 24. 2. and Gen. 39. 4. A property of good gouernment 1. Tim. 3. 7. The marks that families gouernment aimeth 〈◊〉 Gen. 12. 7. 8. 13. 18. 11. 33. 1. 22. 9. Iob. 1. 7. Iosua 24. 25. Prou. 31. 26. c. Acts. 10. 16. 14. 15. Ephes. 6. 4. 1. Ioh 3. 24. 12. 13. Mat. 6. 24. Hag. 1. 6. Psal 127. 1. The sorts of gouernours Housholders or housekeepers are persons authorised ower their housholds and charge The dutie of the Husband touching holinesse which he must performe to them 1 To see that they haue the Word ordinarily the 〈◊〉 whereof is the greatest plague that can be Amo 8. 11. Esa. 32. 1. 2. 3. 4. Ro. 10. 14. Iam. 1. 28. 19. 21. 1. Pet. 2. 2. Heb. 2. 1. Ephe. 4. 11. 12. Iam. 2. 11. All superiours ought to be carefull that their inseriors do keepe holy that day as well as themselues Deut. 5. 15. They ought not to leaue it to their discretion as a thing indifferent but to compell them thereto Deut 11. 10. So haue the Seruants of God done in times past in their seuer all families Iosh. 24. 15. Acts. 10. 1. Gen. 18. 10. But in our time it is for the most part wholy neglected Especialy in great households where there are many seruants 2. Sam. 23. 15. 16. Obiection Answer The gouernors of families should take order that their whole houshold