evil_a but_o as_o he_o be_v israel_n so_o his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a he_o have_v two_o name_n jacob_n and_o israel_n genesis_n 49.1_o 2._o both_o give_v he_o from_o his_o wrestle_a the_o farmer_n name_n be_v give_v he_o for_o wrestle_v with_o his_o brother_n for_o the_o birthright_n in_o the_o womb_n wherein_o he_o miscarry_v but_o the_o latter_a for_o his_o wrestle_a with_o his_o god_n for_o the_o blessing_n at_o penuel_n wherein_o his_o valour_n through_o divine_a condescension_n obtain_v the_o victory_n when_o the_o messiah_n see_v jacob_n undaunted_a courage_n in_o resolute_o detain_v he_o ask_v he_o his_o name_n gen._n 32.24_o 26_o 27._o as_o if_o he_o shall_v say_v thou_o be_v such_o a_o fellow_n as_o i_o never_o meet_v with_o who_o though_o thou_o be_v lame_v and_o lay_v hard_o at_o yet_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v without_o my_o blessing_n thou_o have_v let_v thy_o flock_n go_v and_o thy_o herd_n go_v thou_o have_v let_v thy_o wife_n go_v and_o thy_o child_n go_v yet_o thou_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v nor_o my_o blessing_n go_v i_o will_v not_o let_v thou_o go_v except_o thou_o bless_v i_o say_v jacob_n v._o 26._o hereupon_o he_o honour_n he_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o honour_n of_o knighthood_n say_v to_o he_o kneel_v down_n jacob_n rise_v up_o israel_n for_o as_o a_o prince_n thou_o have_v have_v power_n with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n and_o have_v prevail_v gen._n 32.28_o hos_fw-la 12.3_o 4._o now_o jacob_n be_v a_o name_n of_o weakness_n the_o poor_a worm_n jacob_n isa_n 41.14_o trample_v upon_o and_o tread_v under_o foot_n this_o afflict_a state_n make_v jacob_n sigh_v out_o those_o sad_a word_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v against_o i_o gen._n 42.36_o and_o those_o of_o my_o text_n also_o few_n and_o evil_n have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v but_o so_o far_o as_o he_o have_v princely_a power_n as_o israel_n signify_v both_o with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n in_o this_o sense_n his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a one_o day_n with_o god_n be_v a_o thousand_o elsewhere_o use_v hence_o learn_v we_o the_o reason_n why_o the_o church_n be_v call_v jacob_n through_o out_o the_o scripture_n when_o speech_n be_v of_o her_o weakness_n and_o calamity_n but_o she_o be_v frequent_o call_v israel_n to_o signify_v her_o splendour_n and_o glory_n and_o as_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n so_o it_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o god_n in_o particular_a some_o time_n they_o be_v run_v down_o with_o strange_a temptation_n and_o with_o strong_a tribulation_n then_o be_v they_o the_o poor_a worm_n jocob_n isa_n 41.14_o the_o shulamite_n find_v two_o army_n warring_n in_o she_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o army_n of_o the_o spirit_n cant._n 6.13_o when_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n or_o amalek_n prevail_v as_o exod._n 17.11_o then_o the_o seed_n of_o jocob_n droop_v but_o when_o they_o be_v make_v strong_a in_o their_o weakness_n 2_o cor._n 12.9_o strengthen_v with_o all_o may_v col._n 1.11_o and_o make_v able_a through_o the_o supply_n of_o christ_n spirit_n phil._n 1.19_o to_o tread_v down_o strength_n as_o judg._n 5.21_o even_o the_o strong_a temptation_n without_o then_o be_v they_o call_v the_o israel_n of_o god_n gal._n 6.16_o for_o their_o princelike_a prevail_a over_o flesh_n world_n and_o devil_n iii_o observation_n from_o the_o circumstance_n of_o the_o text._n the_o three_o observation_n arise_v from_o the_o conjunction_n of_o these_o two_o part_n this_o question_n and_o the_o answer_n to_o it_o which_o be_v it_o be_v a_o duty_n incumbent_n upon_o all_o mankind_n to_o be_v ask_v and_o answer_v how_o the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o their_o life_n do_v pass_v away_o it_o be_v moses_n prayer_n lord_n teach_v we_o to_o number_v our_o day_n that_o we_o may_v apply_v our_o heart_n unto_o wisdom_n psalâ—_n 90.12_o in_o which_o psalm_n it_o be_v â—_o meditation_n of_o man_n mortality_n correspond_v with_o my_o text_n therefore_o mark_v 1._o moses_n mention_n the_o brevity_n and_o uncertainty_n of_o man_n life_n compare_v it_o to_o a_o watch_n v._o 4._o which_o be_v but_o the_o four_o part_n of_o a_o night_n mark_n 13.35_o then_o he_o go_v on_o and_o compare_v it_o to_o a_o sleep_n to_o a_o dream_n all_o vanish_v thing_n and_o to_o a_o tale_n that_o be_v soon_o tell_v and_o be_v as_o soon_o forget_v last_o to_o grass_n which_o we_o well_o know_v if_o it_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o in_o summer_n or_o autumn_n do_v wither_v in_o winter_n so_o such_o mortal_n as_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o with_o the_o scythe_n of_o death_n in_o their_o youth_n do_v yet_o wither_v away_o in_o the_o winter_n of_o old_a age._n quid_fw-la est_fw-la vita_fw-la nisi_fw-la quidam_fw-la cursus_fw-la ad_fw-la mortem_fw-la say_v the_o ancient_a father_n life_n be_v nothing_o but_o a_o post_v to_o death_n the_o second_o occurrence_n in_o this_o meditation_n of_o moses_n upon_o man_n morality_n be_v his_o assign_v the_o proper_a procure_a cause_n of_o this_o humane_a misery_n to_o wit_n divine_a displeasure_n â—gainst_a sin_n which_o cause_v god_n to_o â—urn_v man_n to_o destruction_n ver_fw-la 7_o 8._o man_n at_o the_o first_o be_v make_v immortal_a he_o have_v then_o a_o immortal_a body_n a_o suitable_a companion_n for_o his_o immortal_a soul_n these_o two_o sweet_a associate_n have_v never_o be_v sever_v each_o from_o other_o if_o man_n have_v not_o sin_v against_o his_o maker_n have_v adam_n stand_v on_o his_o state_n of_o innocency_n he_o shall_v then_o have_v render_v to_o the_o lord_n a_o time_n of_o perfect_a obedience_n and_o service_n here_o upon_o earth_n and_o when_o that_o homage_n to_o his_o great_a landlord_n have_v be_v accomplish_v he_o shall_v then_o have_v be_v translate_v from_o earth_n without_o the_o least_o taste_n of_o death_n to_o heaven_n the_o soul_n shall_v never_o have_v be_v separate_v from_o the_o body_n as_o now_o it_o be_v for_o the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n rom._n 6.23_o it_o be_v that_o one_o man_n offence_n that_o pull_v up_o the_o sluice_n and_o let_v in_o death_n as_o a_o deluge_n with_o a_o regal_a authority_n over_o all_o the_o world_n rom._n 5.14_o to_o 17._o and_o sin_n do_v not_o only_o let_v in_o death_n but_o also_o all_o sort_n of_o sickness_n sorrow_n and_o suffering_n that_o be_v forerunner_n of_o it_o then_o 3_o moses_n condemn_v man_n dulness_n in_o take_v no_o more_o notice_n of_o this_o divine_a displeasure_n ver_fw-la 11._o all_o other_o creature_n know_v their_o time_n and_o their_o season_n jerem._n 8.7_o but_o man_n know_v not_o the_o day_n of_o his_o visitation_n till_o he_o come_v to_o be_v snare_v in_o a_o evil_a net_n etc._n etc._n eccles_n 9.12_o though_o man_n life_n be_v a_o life_n full_a of_o all_o inconvenience_n of_o indignity_n of_o injury_n of_o infirmity_n and_o of_o iniquity_n also_o yet_o such_o be_v the_o stupidity_n of_o the_o fall_v nature_n that_o man_n put_v the_o thought_n of_o these_o thing_n far_o from_o he_o amos_n 6.3_o four_o hereupon_o moses_n beg_v god_n for_o illuminate_v grace_n wherewith_o to_o make_v a_o more_o distinct_a discovery_n of_o all_o humane_a frailty_n lord_n teach_v which_o to_o number_v our_o day_n etc._n etc._n ver_fw-la 12._o and_o the_o sweet-singer_n of_o israel_n david_n will_v be_v of_o the_o same_o chorus_n with_o moses_n sigh_v as_o well_o as_o sing_v out_o these_o synonimical_a sentence_n lord_n make_v i_o â—o_o know_v my_o end_n and_o the_o measure_n of_o my_o day_n what_o it_o be_v that_o i_o may_v know_v how_o frail_a i_o be_o etc._n etc._n psal_n 39.4_o 5._o thus_o likewise_o jacob_n in_o my_o text_n carry_v on_o the_o like_a concord_n and_o consort_n to_o complete_a the_o harmony_n complain_v here_o few_n and_o evil_a have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v etc._n etc._n add_v only_o this_o one_o note_n of_o discord_n for_o make_v better_a music_n that_o god_n have_v teach_v he_o this_o great_a truth_n concern_v his_o own_o frailty_n he_o have_v see_v it_o for_o time_n past_a and_o he_o will_v be_v sensible_a of_o it_o for_o time_n to_o come_v his_o day_n have_v be_v few_o and_o evil_a now_o they_o may_v be_v few_o and_o worse_o see_v he_o and_o all_o his_o be_v famish_v out_o of_o canaan_n the_o land_n of_o promise_n into_o egypt_n the_o place_n where_o his_o posterity_n will_v be_v evil_o entreat_v gen._n 15.13_o use_v moses_n teach_v we_o what_o use_n to_o make_v of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o own_o frailty_n it_o shall_v strong_o stir_v we_o up_o to_o a_o earnest_n implore_v of_o divine_a mercy_n he_o make_v a_o loud_a out_o cry_v after_o mercy_n cry_v return_v o_fw-la lord_n how_o long_o etc._n etc._n oh_o satisfy_v we_o early_o with_o thy_o mercy_n
i_o have_v learn_v no_o more_o from_o so_o eminent_a a_o pattern_n of_o piety_n through_o hope_n of_o enjoy_v he_o long_o and_o often_o this_o make_v i_o neglect_v observe_v and_o remember_v many_o sweet_a expression_n which_o now_o i_o wish_v i_o have_v not_o do_v etc._n etc._n the_o three_o and_o most_o perfect_a character_n i_o have_v from_o his_o own_o gracious_a sister_n who_o write_v thus_o of_o he_o my_o dear_a brother_n mr._n john_n draper_n be_v bear_v march_n 26.1663_o of_o godly_a parent_n though_o he_o be_v much_o bereave_v of_o the_o benefit_n of_o their_o education_n of_o he_o they_o die_v before_o he_o be_v 12._o year_n old_a yet_o have_v they_o do_v their_o duty_n for_o he_o till_o then_o put_v up_o many_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o god_n in_o his_o behalf_n which_o the_o lord_n gracious_o answer_v in_o take_v care_n of_o the_o fatherless_a after_o in_o the_o year_n 1675._o he_o be_v put_v to_o a_o schoolmaster_n who_o be_v as_o careful_a for_o his_o soul_n as_o for_o his_o body_n etc._n etc._n in_o the_o year_n 1678._o he_o become_v a_o apprentice_n where_o he_o serve_v his_o master_n faithful_o be_v effectual_o call_v in_o the_o first_o year_n of_o his_o time_n and_o then_o reflect_v upon_o himself_o for_o his_o former_a mispend_v of_o time_n and_o neglect_v season_n of_o grace_n he_o now_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o better_a improvement_n of_o the_o assembly_n catechism_n which_o he_o have_v get_v by_o heart_n before_o he_o be_v 11._o year_n old_a at_o home_n and_o the_o sermon_n he_o have_v write_v abroad_o at_o school_n now_o become_v he_o more_o sweet_a to_o we_o all_o i_o never_o see_v he_o out_o of_o a_o heavenly_a frame_n but_o if_o he_o be_v not_o hear_n something_o of_o god_n he_o will_v be_v speak_v something_o from_o god_n if_o at_o any_o time_n we_o desire_v he_o to_o stay_v with_o we_o he_o will_v answer_v my_o time_n be_v not_o my_o own_o i_o must_v not_o neglect_v my_o master_n business_n much_o less_o god_n to_o who_o i_o must_v give_v a_o account_n of_o all_o my_o thoutgh_n word_n and_o deed_n i_o have_v much_o work_n to_o do_v and_o but_o little_a time_n to_o do_v it_o in_o this_o shall_v awe_n our_o heart_n from_o sin_n and_o make_v we_o earnest_a for_o pardon_v &_o prevent_v mercy_n o_o what_o need_v we_o have_v to_o stir_v up_o one_o another_o in_o way_n of_o godliness_n for_o heart-work_n be_v hard_a work_n and_o we_o love_v the_o world_n more_o than_o god_n he_o will_v oft_o bewail_v with_o tear_n to_o behold_v how_o the_o youth_n general_o profane_v the_o name_n of_o god_n and_o be_v unwearied_a in_o do_v the_o devil_n drudgery_n whereas_o we_o call_v christian_n be_v soon_o weary_a with_o do_v our_o master_n will_n who_o yoke_n be_v easy_a and_o his_o burden_n light_n add_v it_o be_v free_a grace_n that_o make_v the_o difference_n betwixt_o we_o and_o those_o vain_a youth_n he_o express_v his_o fear_n of_o set_v up_o for_o himself_o often_o observe_v how_o many_o be_v zealous_a while_o apprentice_n yet_o decline_v when_o become_v master_n who_o be_v ask_v why_o they_o have_v lose_v their_o first_o love_n answer_v it_o be_v for_o want_v of_o time_n to_o which_o he_o reply_v it_o be_v more_o for_o want_n of_o love_n than_o of_o time_n this_o he_o fear_v may_v be_v his_o own_o case_n if_o god_n prevent_v it_o not_o be_v ask_v if_o he_o be_v willing_a to_o suffer_v for_o god_n he_o answer_v if_o god_n call_v i_o to_o it_o he_o will_v qualify_v i_o for_o it_o but_o he_o think_v god_n will_v not_o put_v that_o honour_n upon_o he_o the_o time_n that_o other_o take_v for_o recreation_n he_o spend_v in_o holy_a duty_n and_o the_o money_n other_o spend_v id_o he_o lay_v out_o either_o profitable_o or_o charitable_o his_o sickness_n begin_v jan._n 23._o 1682._o which_o he_o bear_v with_o wonderful_a patience_n all_o along_o ever_o desire_v god_n will_v complete_a his_o work_n in_o and_o upon_o he_o o_o how_o will_v he_o bless_v god_n that_o it_o fare_v well_o with_o his_o soul_n how_o ever_o it_o fare_v with_o his_o body_n and_o that_o god_n be_v never_o want_v to_o we_o when_o we_o be_v not_o want_v to_o ourselves_o though_o some_o blame_v he_o for_o be_v too_o bookish_a during_o his_o weakness_n he_o answer_v shall_v read_v impair_v my_o health_n i_o be_o sure_a it_o refresh_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o wish_v you_o all_o to_o prize_v communion_n with_o god_n and_o to_o make_v your_o peace_n with_o god_n before_o the_o night_n come_v have_v i_o now_o that_o work_n to_o do_v i_o may_v expect_v frown_n where_o through_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o have_v smile_n upon_o i_o which_o i_o can_v express_v when_o in_o the_o great_a extremity_n he_o will_v say_v what_o be_v all_o this_o to_o that_o which_o christ_n suffer_v for_o i_o cry_v out_o o_o the_o gentleness_n of_o god_n to_o i_o compare_v with_o crhist_n sorrow_n call_v to_o hear_v the_o 14_o 15_o 16_o and_o 17._o chapter_n of_o john_n read_v to_o he_o when_o weak_a he_o will_v lay_v smile_v with_o his_o eye_n and_o his_o hand_n lift_v up_o to_o heaven_n and_o a_o few_o day_n before_o he_o die_v he_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o sister_n i_o know_v you_o wish_v i_o well_o i_o can_v be_v well_o here_o therefore_o be_v willing_a to_o let_v i_o go_v it_o be_v not_o long_a since_o god_n make_v you_o willing_a to_o leave_v i_o in_o a_o troublesome_a world_n and_o now_o will_v not_o you_o be_v willing_a to_o give_v i_o up_o to_o god_n if_o a_o taste_n of_o heaven_n be_v so_o sweet_a here_o what_o be_v the_o full_a enjoyment_n let_v i_o go_v first_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a time_n and_o we_o shall_v meet_v again_o etc._n etc._n i_o have_v forbear_v to_o mention_v my_o death_n to_o the_o loss_n of_o myself_o and_o other_o because_o your_o spirit_n can_v bear_v it_o o_o how_o be_o i_o comfort_v in_o the_o stock_n of_o prayer_n go_v for_o i_o when_o i_o can_v now_o pray_v for_o myself_o especial_o that_o christ_n be_v intercede_v for_o i_o in_o heaven_n after_o this_o his_o speech_n be_v scarce_o intelligible_a yet_o understand_v he_o say_v lord_n thou_o know_v what_o i_o have_v do_v and_o what_o i_o have_v leave_v undo_v oft_o over_o and_o all_o night_n speak_v with_o such_o earnestness_n as_o think_v he_o be_v understand_v the_o next_o morning_n friend_n persuade_v i_o to_o withdraw_v as_o be_v no_o more_o useful_a to_o he_o but_o hurtful_a to_o myself_o and_o if_o he_o become_v more_o sensible_a it_o will_v grieve_v he_o to_o see_v i_o grieve_v but_o after_o some_o hour_n absence_n return_v to_o he_o he_o take_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n to_o comfort_v i_o say_v with_o arm_n spread_v my_o god_n have_v chain_v up_o satan_n which_o be_v a_o answer_n to_o that_o very_a request_n put_v up_o for_o he_o a_o little_a before_o thus_o when_o death_n that_o king_n of_o terror_n and_o terror_n of_o king_n be_v unstung_a he_o submit_v to_o its_o stroke_n and_o change_v his_o life_n for_o a_o better_a aug._n 3._o 1682._o he_o appoint_v the_o text_n for_o his_o funeral_n sermon_n to_o be_v gen._n 47.9_o as_o be_v relate_v before_o in_o the_o time_n of_o his_o health_n yet_o find_v the_o sentence_n of_o death_n upon_o himself_o etc._n etc._n he_o be_v bear_v 1663._o begin_v his_o last_o sickness_n on_o jan._n 23._o and_o die_v when_o august_n be_v but_o 3._o day_n old_a thus_o this_o bless_a soul_n pass_v from_o three_o to_o three_o hand_v by_o three_o in_o one_o the_o trinity_n from_o womb_n to_o tomb._n three_o three_o complete_v his_o race_n turn_v all_o his_o grief_n to_o everlasting_a peace_n the_o next_o character_n be_v that_o of_o a_o minister_n who_o write_v thus_o to_o he_o in_o his_o last_o sickness_n etc._n etc._n shall_v i_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v of_o your_o sickness_n i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v a_o evil_a to_o nature_n but_o i_o rejoice_v in_o hope_n that_o it_o will_v increase_v your_o grace_n not_o doubt_v but_o to_o such_o a_o serious_a christian_a and_o religious_a person_n as_o you_o have_v be_v this_o affliction_n will_v be_v the_o take_v away_o of_o sin_n and_o this_o rod_n with_o aaron_n will_v blossom_v with_o the_o peaceable_a fruit_n of_o righteousness_n your_o great_a knowledge_n in_o the_o mystery_n of_o salvation_n and_o eminent_a proficiency_n in_o the_o school_n of_o christ_n may_v well_o put_v a_o supersedeas_fw-la to_o any_o instruction_n from_o i_o yet_o give_v i_o leave_v as_o a_o faithful_a monitor_n to_o mind_v you_o of_o your_o duty_n of_o patience_n that_o you_o may_v be_v as_o eminent_a in_o that_o grace_n in_o the_o time_n of_o your_o sickness_n as_o you_o be_v in_o other_o grace_n in_o the_o time_n of_o your_o health_n i_o know_v it_o
be_v impossible_a for_o nature_n to_o endure_v without_o murmur_a the_o loss_n of_o such_o a_o mercy_n as_o health_n but_o grace_n can_v weigh_v these_o consideration_n first_o consider_v who_o be_v the_o author_n of_o your_o affliction_n it_o spring_v not_o out_o of_o die_v dust_n nor_o come_v by_o chance_n but_o it_o be_v my_o father_n hand_n that_o appoint_v the_o time_n place_n measure_n and_o manner_n so_o must_v not_o murmur_v second_o consider_v though_o you_o be_v a_o son_n of_o god_n yet_o your_o sin_n have_v deserve_v hell_n and_o thither_o have_v you_o be_v cast_v have_v not_o your_o dear_a redeemer_n die_v for_o you_o but_o see_v you_o be_v deliver_v from_o wrath_n to_o come_v and_o this_o be_v all_o your_o hell_n you_o be_v like_a to_o have_v to_o wit_n this_o present_a chastisement_n therefore_o you_o may_v not_o murmur_v etc._n etc._n three_o consider_v god_n never_o afflict_v willing_o but_o when_o need_n be_v and_o for_o gracious_a end_n to_o subdue_v sin_n and_o to_o strengthen_v grace_n to_o wean_v from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o make_v heaven_n more_o desirable_a etc._n etc._n his_o bowel_n still_o yearn_v while_o his_o rod_n be_v on_o our_o back_n if_o this_o be_v so_o shall_v you_o not_o be_v patient_a four_o meditate_v much_o on_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n and_o the_o happy_a rest_n there_o prepare_v for_o you_o which_o transcend_v our_o apprehension_n while_o we_o tabernacle_n in_o house_n of_o clay_n o_o the_o river_n of_o pleasure_n the_o mansion_n of_o bliss_n the_o region_n of_o happiness_n the_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o sceptre_n of_o power_n the_o robe_n of_o glory_n and_o the_o throne_n of_o honour_n that_o be_v there_o prepare_v for_o the_o lamb_n follower_n no_o sin_v be_v there_o to_o provoke_v god_n no_o suffering_n to_o molest_v we_o no_o weep_a eye_n sigh_v breast_n or_o complain_v tongue_n be_v find_v there_o no_o cry_v there_o o_o my_o head_n my_o head_n and_z o_o my_o bowel_n be_v pain_v etc._n etc._n but_o all_o rest_n in_o the_o arm_n of_o love_n and_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n o_o happy_a soul_n that_o be_v now_o get_v thither_o and_o since_o you_o will_v short_o be_v there_o shall_v you_o not_o be_v submissive_a to_o and_o rejoice_v in_o the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o he_o give_v you_o both_o a_o happy_a and_o a_o comfortable_a departure_n out_o of_o time_n into_o eternity_n be_v the_o prayer_n of_o etc._n etc._n the_o last_o character_n be_v that_o of_o my_o own_o from_o my_o own_o personal_a knowledge_n of_o he_o which_o though_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o be_v that_o of_o many_o other_o who_o be_v more_o conversant_a with_o he_o yet_o be_v enough_o to_o give_v i_o a_o prospect_n of_o his_o almost_o unparalleled_a piety_n i_o never_o converse_v with_o a_o more_o mortify_v youngman_n from_o youthful_a vanity_n so_o serious_a in_o his_o deportment_n so_o savoury_a in_o his_o discourse_n with_o so_o grave_a a_o aspect_n and_o and_o so_o compose_v a_o countenance_n as_o i_o seldom_o law_n in_o this_o our_o english_a israel_n he_o have_v so_o faithful_o follow_v these_o follow_a rule_n first_o let_v not_o god_n find_v i_o in_o my_o bed_n when_o he_o look_v for_o i_o on_o my_o knee_n second_o nor_o wander_v thought_n eat_v out_o the_o life_n of_o my_o duty_n three_o nor_o be_v slight_a in_o read_v god_n word_n or_o hear_v it_o preach_v which_o i_o shall_v digest_v in_o my_o heart_n and_o repeat_v in_o my_o life_n four_o i_o must_v redeem_v time_n five_o deny_v myself_o six_o do_v more_o than_o other_o seven_o be_v careful_a of_o my_o company_n eighth_n leave_v the_o savour_n of_o grace_n behind_o i_o in_o all_o company_n nine_o be_v holy_a in_o all_o my_o relation_n as_o a_o servant_n etc._n etc._n ten_o no_o sin_n must_v sit_v light_n eleven_o nor_o may_v i_o live_v in_o that_o which_o i_o know_v or_o fear_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n twelve_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o mourn_v for_o sin_n my_o own_o and_o other_o thirteen_o to_o be_v much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n have_v god_n oft_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o heaven_n oft_o in_o my_o sight_n fourteen_o to_o be_v oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n fifteen_o to_o resist_v the_o first_o rise_n of_o sin_n sixteenth_o to_o bridle_v my_o tongue_n seventeen_o to_o feed_v in_o god_n fear_n at_o my_o meal_n time_n eighteen_o to_o do_v all_o my_o secular_a and_o sacred_a affair_n for_o god_n glory_n the_o good_a of_o other_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o etc._n etc._n that_o he_o familliarize_v his_o soul_n with_o these_o and_o the_o like_a help_n and_o due_o and_o daily_o weigh_v himself_o in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n soon_o become_v a_o none_o such_o in_o christian_a attainment_n so_o that_o the_o way_n of_o this_o godly-wise_a youngman_n be_v above_o as_o prov._n 15.24_o raise_v the_o foot_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o a_o high_a region_n and_o above_o the_o head_n of_o most_o other_o youngman_n sure_o i_o be_o his_o conversasion_n be_v in_o heaven_n as_o phil._n 3.20_o while_o his_o commoration_n be_v on_o earth_n the_o rabbin_n say_v that_o cain_n sin_n be_v not_o divide_v aright_o for_o god_n for_o which_o fault_n they_o suppose_v god_n bring_v that_o brand_n of_o go_v about_o eversigh_v and_o tremble_v etc._n etc._n but_o i_o may_v without_o vanity_n affirm_v that_o if_o any_o young_a man_n learned_a to_o divide_v aright_o betwixt_o his_o general_n and_o particular_a call_n this_o holy_a youngman_n do_v who_o seldom_o or_o never_o will_v suffer_v they_o to_o justle_v out_o one_o the_o other_o as_o he_o will_v not_o give_v his_o masters-time_n to_o god_n worship_n so_o nor_o god_n time_n to_o his_o master_n service_n i_o wish_v all_o apprentice_n will_v learn_v to_o write_v after_o so_o fair_a a_o copy_n and_o to_o dress_v themselves_o by_o so_o lovely_a a_o looking-glass_n i_o know_v also_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n rest_v upon_o he_o in_o most_o eminent_a act_n and_o emanation_n and_o i_o stand_v admire_v not_o only_o at_o his_o most_o evangelical_n experience_n exercise_n examination_n and_o evidence_n above_o mention_v but_o also_o at_o his_o most_o sensible_a and_o savoury_a letter_n not_o only_o write_v with_o his_o own_o mortal_a hand_n but_o with_o a_o most_o gracious_a heart_n in_o one_o of_o which_o i_o find_v how_o he_o oblige_v his_o correspondent_a a_o godly_a young_a man_n to_o holiness_n with_o these_o argument_n first_o we_o have_v covenant_v not_o to_o allow_v ourselves_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v all_o mean_n for_o the_o death_n and_o destruction_n thereof_o second_o to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a to_o we_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o forsake_v god_n and_o his_o gospel_n three_o to_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n against_o the_o temptation_n both_o of_o prosperity_n and_o adversity_n lest_o we_o be_v draw_v from_o god_n four_o to_o take_v the_o law_n of_o god_n for_o the_o rule_n of_o our_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n square_n our_o whole_a life_n thereby_o five_o to_o neglect_v nothing_o we_o know_v to_o be_v our_o duty_n six_o to_o resign_v up_o ourselves_o to_o god_n and_o avouch_v he_o for_o our_o lord_n seven_o to_o own_o jehovah_n as_o our_o portion_n promise_v to_o serve_v he_o all_o our_o day_n eight_o to_o improve_v christ_n as_o he_o be_v the_o new_a and_o live_a way_n for_o access_n to_o the_o father_n nine_o to_o be_v marry_v to_o christ_n accept_v he_o for_o our_o head_n and_o husband_n in_o all_o state_n and_o time_n take_v our_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v though_o suffering_n and_o death_n do_v accrue_v we_o must_v renounce_v our_o own_o will_n and_o wisdom_n etc._n etc._n in_o another_o i_o find_v the_o saint_n pedigree_n first_o what_o christ_n be_v to_o we_o he_o be_v our_o lord_n 1._o cor._n 1_o 2._o our_o friend_n cant._n 5.16_o our_o flesh_n and_o blood_n heb._n 2.14_o our_o brother_n ver._n 17._o our_o father_n isa_n 63.16_o our_o husband_n rom._n 7.4_o what_o we_o be_v to_o christ_n his_o servant_n rom._n 6.22_o his_o friend_n john_n 15.14_o his_o kinsman_n mark_v 3.21.35_o his_o brethren_n john_n 7.3_o his_o son_n gal._n 3.26_o his_o spouse_n sister_n love_n and_o dove_n cant._n 4.9_o the_o church_n be_v one_o vine_n john_n 15._o 1._o one_o seed_n gal._n 3.16_o one_o temple_n eph._n 2.16_o one_o body_n rom._n 12.5_o one_o spirit_n 1._o cor._n 6.16_o and_o one_o christ_n 1._o cor._n 12.12_o and_o upon_o the_o survey_n of_o this_o pedigree_n he_o cry_v out_o lord_z what_o be_v man_n thou_o be_v thus_o mindful_a of_o he_o make_v he_o in_o some_o respect_n high_a than_o angel_n thou_o have_v crown_v he_o with_o glory_n and_o honour_n etc._n etc._n psal_n 8._o in_o another_o letter_n to_o his_o elder_a sister_n write_v about_o three_o a_o clock_n in_o
etc._n etc._n psal_n 90.13_o 14._o he_o can_v find_v nothing_o in_o all_o the_o world_n but_o divine_a mercy_n to_o be_v a_o congruous_a and_o competent_a remedy_n for_o humane_a malady_n and_o mortal_a misery_n and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a of_o mercy_n will_v do_v but_o he_o must_v have_v much_o even_o as_o much_o as_o will_v satisfy_v oh_o satisfy_v etc._n etc._n the_o salve_n must_v be_v suitable_a to_o the_o sore_a for_o quantity_n as_o well_o as_o quality_n great_a misery_n smart_v under_o require_v great_a mercy_n to_o cure_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o must_v have_v it_o early_o also_o oh_o satisfy_v i_o early_o etc._n etc._n the_o soul_n of_o a_o frail_a sinner_n make_v sensible_a of_o his_o sinful_a frailty_n even_o belong_v after_o mercy_n he_o can_v live_v without_o it_o he_o dare_v not_o die_v without_o it_o he_o must_v have_v mercy_n both_o the_o give_v and_o the_o forgive_a mercy_n whatever_o else_o he_o want_v it_o be_v the_o vnum_fw-la necessarium_fw-la he_o must_v have_v it_o speedy_o or_o he_o can_v sit_v down_o satisfy_v valde_fw-la protestatus_fw-la sum_fw-la i_o nolle_fw-la sic_fw-la a_o deo_fw-la satiari_fw-la god_n say_v luther_n shall_v not_o put_v i_o off_o with_o pleasure_n treasure_n honour_n or_o any_o thing_n below_o his_o mercy_n mercy_n give_v we_o much_o yet_o forgive_v we_o more_o etc._n etc._n the_o four_o observation_n arise_v from_o the_o body_n and_o and_o substance_n of_o the_o text_n more_o to_o be_v insist_v upon_o to_o wit_n doctr._fw-la 4._o man_n be_v life_n be_v but_o a_o poor_a pilgrimage_n it_o be_v twice_o thus_o title_v in_o my_o text_n jacob_n call_v his_o own_o life_n a_o pilgrimage_n in_o the_o forepart_n of_o it_o and_o the_o life_n of_o his_o progenitor_n he_o call_v a_o pilgrimage_n also_o in_o the_o latter_a part_n the_o apostle_n james_n move_v a_o parallel_n question_n to_o this_o of_o pharoah_n the_o latter_a ask_v what_o be_v your_o age_n gen._n 47.8_o and_o the_o former_a ask_v what_o be_v your_o life_n jam._n 4.14_o this_o of_o the_o apostle_n admit_v of_o a_o double_a answer_n the_o first_o be_v philosophical_a and_o the_o second_o be_v theologicdl_n the_o first_o be_v that_o answer_v which_o not_o vain_a but_o solid_a and_o sage_a philosophy_n give_v to_o the_o apostle_n question_v what_o be_v man_n life_n to_o show_v the_o nature_n of_o it_o 1._o plato_n that_o divine_a philosopher_n call_v man_n life_n a_o game_n at_o dice_n wherein_o what_o shall_v be_v the_o cast_n wear_v or_o less_o be_v not_o in_o the_o gamester_n power_n yet_o whatever_o be_v the_o cast_n it_o be_v the_o gamester_n duty_n to_o make_v the_o best_a improvement_n of_o it_o that_o he_o may_v win_v the_o game_n this_o platonic_a notion_n carry_v a_o correspondency_n with_o the_o analogy_n of_o faith_n and_o with_o the_o scripture_n of_o truth_n which_o say_v man_n way_n be_v not_o in_o himself_o etc._n etc._n jerem._n 10.23_o it_o be_v indeed_o the_o say_v of_o some_o cuique_fw-la suae_fw-la fortunae_fw-la faber_n every_o man_n be_v the_o framer_n of_o his_o own_o fortune_n which_o may_v be_v take_v in_o sano_n sensu_fw-la if_o interpret_v only_o by_o that_o first_o sermon_n after_o that_o upon_o the_o fall_n which_o god_n himself_o preach_v to_o cain_n gen._n 4.7_o if_o thou_o do_v well_o shall_v thou_o not_o he_o accept_v but_o if_o thou_o do_v ill_a sin_n lie_v at_o thy_o door_n notwithstanding_o it_o be_v not_o in_o man_n to_o direct_v his_o own_o step_n faith_n jeremy_n much_o less_o to_o order_v the_o success_n of_o his_o work_n solomon_n say_v man_n diligence_n without_o god_n blessing_n can_v enrich_v prov._n 10.4_o 22._o man_n know_v not_o therefore_o what_o his_o cast_n shall_v be_v more_o or_o less_o in_o this_o life_n yet_o be_v it_o his_o duty_n to_o make_v the_o best_a and_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a a_o bless_a improvement_n of_o all_o occurrency_n of_o providence_n attend_v he_o that_o through_o grace_n which_o be_v the_o true_a philosopbers_n stone_n that_o turn_v all_o it_o touch_v into_o gold_n all_o natural_a and_o moral_a evil_n may_v be_v convert_v into_o spiritual_a good_a this_o be_v the_o only_a way_n to_o win_v the_o best_a game_n in_o the_o world_n vincenti_fw-la dabitur_fw-la corona_fw-la vitæ_fw-la the_o winner_n wage_n be_v eternal_a glory_n revelat._n 2.10_o 17_o 26._o and_o 3.5.12.21_o second_o next_o to_o plato_n hear_v seneca_n these_o two_o be_v the_o two_o great_a luminary_n of_o the_o heathen_a world_n who_o abound_v in_o his_o allusion_n upon_o this_o point_n as_o 1._o this_o wise_a morallist_n call_v man_n life_n a_o warfare_n wherein_o how_o soon_o our_o enemy_n death_n will_v come_v upon_o we_o and_o overcome_v we_o we_o know_v not_o therefore_o shall_v we_o be_v always_o upon_o our_o watch_n and_o ward_n 2._o he_o compare_v man_n life_n to_o a_o flash_n of_o lightning_n which_o immediate_o appear_v and_o as_o immediate_o disappear_v again_o 3._o the_o philosopher_n come_v up_o high_a to_o the_o very_a term_n of_o our_o text_n and_o plain_o say_v that_o man_n life_n be_v but_o a_o pilgrimage_n and_o pathway_n to_o death_n some_o indeed_o say_v that_o this_o same_o seneca_n be_v acquaint_v with_o the_o apostle_n paul_n his_o contemporary_a in_o nero_n time_n and_o that_o epistle_n be_v write_v from_o each_o to_o other_o so_o may_v borrow_v such_o divine_a notion_n from_o he_o but_o sure_o i_o be_o he_o can_v not_o be_v conversant_a with_o our_o patriarch_n jacob_n unless_o in_o moses_n pentateuch_n from_o which_o he_o may_v borrow_v such_o sacred_a phrase_n etc._n etc._n as_o homer_n do_v his_o alcinous_n garden_n etc._n etc._n and_o ovid_n his_o deucalion_n flood_n etc._n etc._n from_o thence_o three_o pythagoras_n brief_o of_o the_o rest_n compare_v man_n life_n to_o a_o stage-play_a on_o a_o theatre_n where_o a_o man_n act_v his_o part_n for_o a_o while_n then_o retire_v be_v disattired_n or_o devest_v of_o all_o his_o histrionical_a attire_n and_o act_v garment_n four_o to_o this_o add_v that_o of_o simonides_n relate_v by_o rodulphus_fw-la agricola_n who_o be_v ask_v what_o man_n life_n be_v answer_v with_o a_o silent_a sign_n show_v himself_o to_o the_o company_n a_o little_a while_n and_o then_o withdraw_a out_o of_o their_o sight_n five_o epictetus_n declare_v man_n life_n to_o be_v like_o a_o voyage_n at_o sea_n upon_o the_o narrow_a sea_n wherein_o he_o meet_v with_o high_a wind_n rough_a water_n surge_a wave_n as_o it_o be_v all_o in_o a_o conspiracy_n to_o swallow_v he_o up_o and_o if_o he_o escape_v the_o storm_n either_o ragged_a rock_n or_o cruel_a quicksand_n may_v shipwreck_n he_o in_o a_o calm_a yea_o it_o may_v be_v that_o pirate_n may_v plunder_v he_o or_o some_o contrary_a blast_n may_v blow_v he_o too_o soon_o to_o shore_n however_o in_o those_o narrow_a sea_n there_o be_v but_o a_o short_a cutt_n from_o shore_n to_o shore_n many_o more_o saying_n of_o those_o heathen_a sage_n may_v here_o be_v multiply_v be_v it_o not_o to_o avoid_v prolixity_n i_o have_v do_v with_o the_o philosophical_a answer_n to_o what_o be_v man_n life_n let_v we_o hear_v what_o be_v that_o which_o be_v theological_a that_o have_v a_o more_o noble_a original_a and_o be_v teach_v in_o a_o high_a school_n picus_n mirandula_n say_v excellent_o that_o philosophy_n seek_v truth_n divinity_n find_v it_o and_o piety_n possess_v it_o the_o notable_a essay_n of_o the_o former_a have_v be_v hear_v but_o scripture_n discovery_n be_v the_o more_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n whereunto_o we_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o take_v heed_n 2_o pet._n 1.19_o the_o word_n of_o god_n abound_v with_o many_o metaphor_n to_o illustrate_v the_o nature_n of_o the_o life_n of_o man_n be_v all_o answer_n to_o the_o apostle_n question_v what_o be_v your_o life_n i_o can_v but_o single_a forth_o some_o very_a few_o of_o they_o that_o this_o narrow_a discourse_n swell_v not_o too_o much_o the_o first_o resemblance_n wave_a those_o i_o mention_v before_o from_o psal_n 90_o etc._n etc._n which_o i_o enlarge_v on_o the_o more_o because_o it_o be_v a_o paraphrase_n on_o my_o text_n be_v that_o of_o the_o apostle_n james_n who_o move_v the_o question_n what_o be_v your_o life_n and_o give_v himself_o the_o answer_n to_o it_o no_o doubt_n but_o well_o accommodate_v because_o he_o be_v inspire_v by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n to_o give_v it_o he_o say_v it_o be_v even_o a_o vapour_n that_o appear_v for_o a_o while_n and_o then_o vanish_v away_o jam._n 4.14_o oh_o what_o a_o poor_a empty_a thing_n be_v a_o vapour_n no_o solidity_n in_o it_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o a_o thing_n as_o next_o to_o nothing_o it_o disperse_v itself_o so_o soon_o as_o it_o be_v raise_v no_o soon_o it_o appear_v but_o it_o disappear_v oh_o then_o what_o a_o vain_a show_n make_v man_n in_o his_o life_n psal_n 39.6_o the_o
fold_n 1._o â—o_o let_v go_v sin_n not_o only_o in_o action_n but_o â—n_a affection_n also_o and_o 2._o to_o lay_v hold_n on_o christ_n as_o one_o undo_v without_o he_o thus_o come_v this_o bless_a soul_n to_o be_v break_v off_o from_o the_o wild_a olive_n rom._n 11.24_o in_o his_o let_n go_v and_o â—aying_v down_o of_o sin_n as_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o by_o grace_n become_v graft_v â—nto_o that_o bless_a and_o bleed_a vine_n â—he_v lord_n jesus_n john_n 15.1_o 2._o who_o ever_o after_o his_o happy_a graft_v time_n become_v a_o fruit_n bear_v branch_n have_v juice_n and_o nourishment_n administer_v abundant_o to_o he_o from_o the_o â—ree_a of_o life_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o sequel_n will_v manifest_v in_o almost_o unparallelled_a instance_n thus_o far_o in_o short_a for_o his_o experience_n in_o his_o first_o conversion_n now_o come_v we_o to_o treat_v more_o large_o of_o his_o whole_a conversation_n some_o part_n whereoâ—_n shall_v be_v reduce_v to_o the_o three_o follow_a head_n his_o exercise_n his_o examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n which_o he_o attainâ—â—_n unto_o etc._n etc._n chap._n ii_o now_o after_o his_o thorough_a aâ—â—_n sound_a conversion_n follow_v 〈◊〉_d holy_a conversation_n which_o appearâ—â—_n to_o be_v much_o in_o heaven_n by_o his_o converse_v so_o much_o with_o god_n and_o with_o 〈◊〉_d own_o heart_n in_o his_o due_a preparation_n for_o and_o true_a participation_n of_o thâ—â—_n great_a of_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n sâ—â—per_v as_o be_v manifest_a by_o those_o experience_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n upon_o that_o subject_n which_o with_o no_o small_a trouble_n yet_o with_o great_a delight_n be_v here_o transcribe_v now_o that_o he_o be_v breed_v and_o make_v a_o new_a creature_n by_o his_o effectual_a call_n he_o find_v and_o feel_v a_o necessity_n that_o he_o must_v also_o be_v feed_v so_o ask_v council_n about_o the_o concern_v of_o his_o soul_n and_o learn_v those_o divine_a lesson_n which_o he_o record_v as_o 1._o the_o lord_n supper_n be_v so_o call_v because_o our_o lord_n ordain_v it_o at_o his_o last_o supper_n instead_o of_o the_o passover_n 2._o it_o be_v the_o duty_n of_o beleiver_n to_o receive_v it_o else_o they_o do_v slight_a his_o love_n and_o disobey_v his_o command_n 3._o and_o to_o receive_v it_o often_o according_a to_o christ_n command_n and_o the_o apostle_n practice_n 4._o that_o be_v dull_a and_o doubt_v under_o my_o spiritual_a want_n say_v he_o i_o must_v give_v all_o diligence_n toprepare_v my_o heart_n for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n all_o be_v natural_o unfit_a god_n will_v come_v and_o view_v his_o guest_n i_o have_v to_o do_v with_o the_o son_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n 5._o this_o preparation_n must_v be_v make_v by_o a_o narrow_a search_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n concern_v my_o sin_n my_o want_n and_o my_o grace_n and_o by_o fervent_a and_o solemn_a prayer_n 6._o the_o grace_n i_o must_v go_v to_o god_n and_o get_v from_o he_o be_v knowledge_n faith_n love_n repentance_n and_o new_a obedience_n 7._o i_o must_v have_v knowledge_n for_o without_o it_o the_o heart_n can_v be_v good_a nor_o can_v i_o know_v myself_o nor_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n i_o must_v know_v how_o man_n be_v create_v and_o how_o he_o fall_v and_o i_o in_o he_o how_o we_o be_v recover_v by_o christ_n how_o renew_v after_o the_o image_n of_o god_n in_o knowledge_n etc._n etc._n till_o then_o my_o understanding_n be_v dark_a and_o ignorant_a my_o conscience_n benumb_v my_o affection_n out_o of_o order_n and_o set_v upon_o wrong_a object_n my_o memory_n brittle_a my_o eye_n full_a of_o adultery_n and_o my_o whole_a frame_n out_o of_o frame_n the_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n will_v help_v to_o break_v my_o heart_n that_o such_o a_o filthy_a lump_n of_o sin_n as_o i_o be_o shall_v see_v and_o feel_v the_o arm_n of_o christ_n embrace_v i_o 8._o i_o must_v have_v faith_n whereby_o i_o may_v hearty_o receive_v he_o as_o my_o lord_n and_o redeemer_n and_o rely_v upon_o he_o alone_o both_o for_o safety_n and_o salvation_n without_o faith_n it_o be_v not_o possible_a to_o please_v god_n and_o i_o may_v not_o displease_v he_o at_o his_o own_o table_n when_o i_o go_v thither_o for_o the_o food_n of_o my_o soul_n 9_o i_o must_v have_v repentance_n because_o i_o must_v judge_v myself_o that_o i_o be_v not_o judge_v i_o must_v both_o mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o turn_v from_o sin_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n etc._n etc._n 10._o i_o must_v have_v love_n too_o because_o the_o apostle_n say_v without_o love_v all_o be_v nothing_o it_o be_v uncomfortable_a to_o sit_v down_o at_o the_o table_n of_o a_o enemy_n who_o we_o love_v not_o and_o who_o love_v not_o we_o but_o it_o be_v dreadful_a and_o dangerous_a to_o sit_v down_o in_o our_o enmity_n 11._o i_o must_v have_v new_a obedience_n also_o else_o i_o come_v in_o my_o rebellion_n and_o for_o some_o sinister_a end_n not_o out_o of_o obedience_n i_o must_v here_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n and_o be_v as_o serious_a as_o if_o i_o be_v to_o die_v both_o in_o beg_v to_o be_v rid_v of_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v the_o peace_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o have_v that_o mercy_n which_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n etc._n etc._n 12._o i_o must_v quicken_v and_o draw_v forth_o into_o act_n all_o these_o forename_a habit_n of_o grace_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n there_o meditate_v upon_o the_o great_a work_n of_o man_n redemption_n god_n severity_n against_o sin_n in_o the_o death_n of_o my_o surety_n &_o saviour_n the_o preciousness_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o cost_v such_o a_o price_n and_o the_o privilege_n purchase_v for_o i_o thereby_o for_o which_o i_o must_v be_v thankful_a etc._n etc._n have_v thus_o solemn_o prepare_v his_o soul_n for_o this_o great_a and_o tremendous_a ordinance_n from_o july_n 22._o 1681._o to_o august_n the_o 7h_n before_o he_o be_v yet_o twenty_o year_n old_a he_o sit_v down_o the_o first_o time_n upon_o that_o day_n at_o the_o lord_n table_n upon_o this_o first_o sacrament_n he_o receive_v august_n the_o seven_o thus_o he_o write_v before_o i_o sit_v down_o and_o at_o my_o first_o approach_n to_o the_o table_n something_o of_o fear_n and_o tremble_v seize_v upon_o i_o but_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v some_o sweet_a sight_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o see_v he_o by_o faith_n how_o he_o stand_v with_o his_o arm_n wide_o open_a to_o receive_v i_o and_o how_o he_o be_v pierce_v that_o the_o blood_n come_v out_o of_o his_o bless_a and_o bleed_a side_n i_o have_v then_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o god_n through_o my_o redeemer_n and_o of_o his_o bless_a angel_n this_o be_v ravish_v and_o oh_o how_o refresh_a but_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n inflame_v enough_o with_o love_n to_o christ_n i_o lay_v open_v my_o sin_n and_o beg_v the_o pardon_n of_o they_o may_v be_v seal_v i_o promise_v to_o live_v up_o to_o this_o obligation_n etc._n etc._n concern_v the_o second_o sacrament_n he_o receive_v sept._n 4._o 1681._o he_o give_v this_o account_n i_o have_v not_o due_o prepare_v my_o heart_n for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n and_o ordinanance_n but_o bless_v for_o ever_o bless_a be_v the_o lord_n who_o do_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o according_a to_o my_o unpreparedness_n which_o if_o he_o have_v do_v i_o have_v not_o be_v here_o but_o be_v banish_v from_o his_o presence_n and_o so_o be_v under_o the_o death_n of_o death_n but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o a_o sight_n of_o himself_o which_o i_o esteem_v above_o life_n and_o likewise_o a_o sight_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n confer_v about_o man_n redemption_n i_o see_v the_o lord_n as_o it_o be_v say_v come_v you_o holy_a angel_n behold_v man_n be_v fall_v see_v if_o you_o can_v find_v a_o way_n for_o his_o recovery_n which_o they_o can_v not_o but_o christ_n take_v upon_o he_o man_n salvation_n and_o i_o see_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v in_o hell_n where_o i_o have_v for_o ever_o lay_v but_o christ_n come_v and_o draw_v i_o out_o than_o i_o embrace_v he_o as_o my_o prophet_n priest_n and_o king_n and_o become_v willing_a to_o forsake_v the_o world_n and_o all_o for_o christ_n o_o that_o i_o may_v do_v it_o more_o and_o more_o and_o never_o have_v this_o frame_n wear_v off_o but_o that_o while_o i_o be_o below_o with_o my_o body_n my_o soul_n may_v be_v above_o with_o my_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o three_o sacrament_n be_v october_n 2d_o 1681._o on_o which_o he_o write_v thus_o as_o the_o minister_n in_o administer_a be_v say_v so_o that_o you_o be_v unfeigned_o willing_a to_o receive_v christ_n and_o who_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v but_o he_o i_o bid_v come_v and_o welcome_a
to_o take_v he_o than_o be_v my_o thought_n fix_v upon_o christ_n though_o they_o have_v be_v wander_v two_o day_n before_o and_o i_o have_v lose_v my_o belove_a yet_o nothing_o can_v give_v i_o peace_n till_o i_o here_o find_v he_o and_o sweet_a communion_n with_o he_o wherein_o i_o hear_v he_o say_v to_o my_o soul_n thy_o sin_n small_a and_o great_a be_v pardon_v and_o thy_o pardon_n be_v seal_v i_o see_v as_o it_o be_v his_o precious_a blood_n spurt_v out_o of_o his_o side_n into_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o soul_n ever_o for_o ever_o love_v this_o lovely_a lord_n admire_v and_o adore_v he_o who_o have_v seal_v thy_o pardon_n never_o sin_n more_o but_o walk_v suitable_o to_o all_o this_o etc._n etc._n the_o four_o sacrament_n be_v november_n 6._o 1681_o whereof_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v long_v for_o this_o ordinance_n because_o i_o have_v more_o than_o ordinary_a sin_n such_o as_o pride_n that_o i_o have_v long_o groan_v under_o which_o make_v i_o long_o for_o the_o sprinkle_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n blood_n to_o wash_v they_o away_o i_o be_v also_o pester_v with_o passion_n as_o well_o as_o pride_n with_o unbelief_n with_o wander_a thought_n and_o some_o time_n with_o blasphemy_n o_o curse_a curse_a sin_n and_o o_o wicked_a wicked_a heart_n once_o to_o think_v whether_o god_n be_v or_o no_o when_o thou_o have_v have_v such_o clear_a evidence_n of_o a_o deity_n these_o be_v my_o five_o deadly_a odious_a sin_n which_o i_o beg_v may_v be_v purge_v from_o i_o o_o that_o i_o may_v never_o see_v nor_o feel_v they_o more_o at_o this_o ordinance_n i_o find_v relief_n and_o feel_v the_o wine_n fall_v down_o low_o and_o low_o i_o desire_v it_o may_v carry_v of_o all_o my_o filth_n so_o as_o to_o leave_v none_o remain_v and_o there_o do_v i_o resolve_v through_o grace_n to_o leave_v those_o five_o sin_n and_o never_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o do_v with_o they_o etc._n etc._n the_o five_o sacrament_n be_v december_n 4._o 1681._o wherein_n say_v he_o i_o do_v again_o lay_v my_o sin_n before_o the_o lord_n fear_v their_o return_n upon_o i_o do_v desire_v a_o meek_a and_o humble_a heart_n against_o my_o pride_n and_o passion_n i_o do_v again_o resign_v myself_o to_o god_n have_v break_v covenant_n with_o he_o and_o beg_v with_o the_o syrophaenician_a woman_n to_o touch_v the_o hem_o of_o christ_n garment_n that_o i_o may_v be_v cleanse_v from_o my_o issue_n of_o sin_n but_o can_v not_o at_o that_o instant_n get_v so_o nigh_o he_o but_o afterward_o have_v i_o a_o clear_a representation_n of_o christ_n suffering_n in_o the_o garden_n where_o he_o bear_v the_o wrath_n of_o god_n sweat_a drop_n of_o blood_n through_o his_o clothes_n in_o a_o cold_a season_n so_o that_o he_o come_v as_o from_o bozra_n with_o die_v garment_n than_o i_o see_v the_o crown_n of_o thorn_n upon_o his_o head_n and_o his_o head_n beat_v with_o the_o soldier_n iron-glove_n which_o make_v the_o thorn_n wound_v his_o holy_a head_n in_o 72._o place_n so_o that_o the_o blood_n run_v down_o upon_o his_o body_n i_o see_v also_o the_o heavy_a weight_n of_o the_o cross_n lay_v upon_o he_o and_o how_o he_o be_v spit_v upon_o revile_v and_o deride_v this_o bless_a sight_n prevent_v wander_v thought_n till_o the_o last_o prayer_n though_o i_o do_v not_o deserve_v the_o least_o crumb_n of_o comfort_n for_o unpreparedness_n to_o so_o great_a a_o work_n which_o have_v god_n deal_v out_o my_o desert_n will_v have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o hell_n etc._n etc._n the_o six_o sacrament_n he_o do_v partake_v of_o be_v january_n the_o first_o 1681_o 2._o upon_o which_o he_o make_v these_o remark_n i_o have_v be_v some_o day_n before_o more_o than_o ordinary_a in_o my_o preparation_n and_o prayer_n for_o a_o profitable_a receive_n and_o when_o i_o come_v to_o it_o i_o be_v sore_o afraid_a that_o i_o shall_v lay_v stress_n upon_o preparatory_a act_n therefore_o beg_v i_o of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o according_o i_o labour_v to_o act_v my_o requisite_a grace_n as_o 1._o repentance_n lay_v open_a before_o the_o lord_n all_o my_o old_a year_n sin_n to_o that_o new-year_n day_n and_o labour_v to_o mourn_v for_o they_o more_o than_o former_o especial_o for_o my_o deadly_a deadly_a sin_n spiritual_a pride_n passionateness_n wander_v thought_n in_o holy_a duty_n unbeleif_n worldliness_n etc._n etc._n and_o i_o hope_v god_n give_v there_o both_o pardon_n of_o they_o and_o power_n against_o they_o 2._o my_o thankfulness_n i_o actuate_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v for_o so_o rich_a a_o mercy_n beg_v for_o it_o both_o hard_a and_o always_o 3._o my_o love_n though_o i_o have_v much_o too_o little_a experience_v the_o sweet_a kiss_n of_o christ_n mouth_n and_o embrace_n of_o his_o love_n i_o see_v christ_n on_o the_o cross_n embrace_v i_o as_o well_o as_o i_o he_o and_o say_v to_o god_n i_o have_v pay_v a_o ransom_n for_o he_o this_o man_n be_v he_o etc._n etc._n this_o be_v so_o sweet_a that_o i_o can_v embrace_v the_o stake_n or_o even_o go_v into_o hell_n so_o i_o may_v thus_o enjoy_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v and_o when_o i_o hear_v the_o minister_n say_v mourn_v for_o your_o sin_n that_o murder_v your_o lord_n i_o answer_v within_o myself_o how_o can_v the_o child_n of_o the_o bride_n mourn_v while_o the_o bridegroom_n be_v with_o they_o twice_o do_v wander_v thought_n offer_v themselves_o but_o be_v by_o grace_n suppress_v at_o the_o first_o rise_n have_v now_o oblige_v my_o understanding_n will_n memory_n affection_n conscience_n yea_o all_o to_o attend_v god_n service_n while_o thus_o fill_v with_o this_o enjoyment_n i_o long_v to_o be_v in_o heaven_n and_o desire_v that_o welcome_a welcome_o friend_n death_n that_o i_o may_v sing_v with_o the_o holy_a saint_n and_o angel_n hallelujah_n to_o to_o the_o lord_n then_o say_v i_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v nothing_o draw_v thy_o love_n from_o thy_o lord_n for_o the_o world_n friend_n relation_n pleasure_n profit_n all_o thing_n put_v together_o can_v never_o give_v such_o joy_n to_o thou_o as_o thou_o have_v find_v from_o lovely_a lovely_a jesus_n in_o this_o bless_a ordinance_n therefore_o lay_v not_o out_o thy_o love_n upon_o any_o thing_n beside_o he_o who_o have_v do_v and_o be_v do_v great_a thing_n yea_o and_o will_v do_v great_a for_o thou_o such_o be_v my_o warm_n warm_a love_n at_o this_o supper_n the_o seven_o sacrament_n be_v february_n the_o 3._o 1681_o 2._o upon_o which_o he_o remark_n thus_o when_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o full_o fix_v by_o my_o new_a year_n day_n sacrament_n but_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o strive_v i_o be_v yet_o trouble_v with_o distraction_n in_o duty_n i_o long_v for_o this_o ordinance_n very_o much_o and_o think_v it_o long_o till_o it_o come_v that_o account_n may_v be_v make_v even_o between_o god_n and_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o be_v dull_a for_o 2._o or_o 3._o duty_n before_o and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n raise_v whereby_o i_o see_v that_o i_o deserve_v nothing_o though_o wander_v thought_n press_v upon_o i_o yet_o be_v they_o cut_v short_a 2_o or_o 3_o time_n &_o i_o find_v relief_n from_o those_o sin_n i_o have_v lay_v open_a before_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o forego_n sacrament_n i_o bewail_v my_o break_a covenant_n my_o distraction_n my_o deadness_n and_o coldness_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n and_o at_o this_o sacrament_n my_o dear_a redeemer_n meet_v i_o &_o say_v to_o i_o i_o have_v pardon_v those_o thy_o sin_n at_o thy_o request_n this_o much_o affect_a and_o inlve_v i_o in_o love_n to_o he_o see_v he_o then_o as_o it_o be_v come_v from_o heaven_n to_o the_o earth_n and_o from_o earth_n to_o the_o cross_n shed_v his_o precious_a blood_n for_o i_o and_o from_o the_o cross_n into_o glory_n and_o methinks_v christ_n say_v to_o i_o go_v sin_n these_o your_o sin_n no_o more_o which_o oblige_v i_o to_o a_o close_a walk_n and_o to_o be_v more_o watchful_a than_o before_o all_o this_o month_n the_o lord_n keep_v i_o from_o pride_n but_o alas_o my_o other_o sin_n return_v to_o foil_v i_o the_o eight_o sacrament_n be_v march_n 5._o 1681_o 2._o upon_o this_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v more_o than_o ordinary_a communion_n with_o god_n before_o it_o and_o have_v not_o have_v a_o sweet_a season_n for_o a_o long_a time_n which_o make_v i_o long_o till_o it_o come_v in_o this_o ordinance_n i_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n as_o it_o be_v dead_a with_o a_o company_n of_o holy_a angel_n hold_v of_o he_o and_o a_o great_a darkness_n over_o all_o the_o place_n this_o be_v grief_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o present_o he_o that_o be_v dead_a i_o see_v he_o alive_a again_o and_o come_v into_o the_o midst_n of_o we_o to_o see_v
task_n as_o appear_v by_o his_o most_o diligent_a and_o divine_a diary_n this_o necessary_a but_o much_o neglect_a work_n of_o self-tryal_n i_o find_v he_o begin_v at_o the_o spring-time_n aequinoctial_a upon_o the_o 10._o of_o march_n 1681_o ‥_o o_o holy_a and_o happy_a soul_n that_o have_v now_o his_o hard_a freeze_a heart_n thus_o kind_o thaw_v by_o a_o look_n of_o love_n from_o the_o son_n of_o righteousness_n as_o peter_n be_v by_o a_o look_v from_o his_o lord_n luke_n 22.61_o 62_o hereby_o the_o lord_n help_v he_o to_o say_v with_o the_o bridegroom_n in_o the_o song_n the_o winter_n be_v pass_v the_o rain_n be_v over_o and_o go_v the_o flower_n appear_v on_o the_o earth_n etc._n etc._n cant._n 2.10_o 11_o 12_o 13.1_o most_o bless_a spring_n of_o grace_n better_a than_o that_o of_o grass_n be_v now_o upon_o he_o though_o i_o can_v give_v so_o distinct_a a_o account_n of_o his_o diary_n as_o i_o will_v because_o it_o be_v write_v in_o obscure_a character_n only_o with_o a_o black_a pencil_n intend_v it_o seem_v sole_o for_o hiâ—_n own_o private_a use_n yet_o with_o the_o beâ—â—_n key_n we_o can_v get_v it_o have_v be_v open_v that_o such_o precious_a treasurâ—_n shall_v not_o be_v lose_v but_o communicate_v for_o the_o common_a good_a i_o begin_v here_o from_o the_o manuscript_n both_o as_o to_o the_o matter_n and_o as_o to_o the_o time_n as_o i_o can_v judge_v upon_o what_o sabbath_n day_n i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n upon_o peter_n go_v out_o and_o weep_v bitter_o after_o christ_n have_v look_v upon_o he_o say_v he_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n that_o night_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o give_v i_o peter_n repentanoe_n and_o in_o the_o earnestness_n of_o spirit_n i_o fall_v flat_a upon_o the_o ground_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o beg_v it_o then_o i_o lay_v long_o till_o i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o my_o god_n yet_o remain_v i_o dull_a and_o muddy_a till_o wednesday_n night_n and_o then_o have_v i_o some_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n again_o even_o a_o new_a taste_n of_o his_o first_o goodness_n and_o comfort_n in_o prayer_n on_o thursday_n night_n do_v i_o meet_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v again_o which_o i_o find_v very_o useful_a to_o i_o find_v by_o woeful_a experience_n that_o without_o christ_n strengthen_v i_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o spiritual_o nor_o before_o the_o sabbath_n ensue_v nor_o in_o it_o have_v i_o the_o sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n i_o use_v to_o have_v before_o but_o on_o monday_n night_n i_o meet_v my_o god_n have_v a_o pretty_a deal_n of_o time_n that_o evening_n for_o tuesday_n morning_n be_v not_o so_o good_a nor_o can_v i_o raise_v my_o heart_n at_o night_n till_o it_o be_v very_o late_o and_o then_o have_v i_o my_o former_a sweetness_n but_o much_o more_o upon_o wednesday_n the_o same_o i_o find_v upon_o the_o sabbath_n follow_v and_o on_o monday_n night_n and_o on_o the_o next_o night_n also_o though_o everdul_a at_o the_o first_o yet_o enlarge_v after_o upon_o wednesday_n night_n i_o pray_v twice_o successive_o and_o find_v more_o than_o ordinary_a income_n on_o thursday_n again_o i_o have_v inlargement_n but_o at_o the_o close_a the_o devil_n make_v i_o drowsy_a to_o cut_v short_a my_o duty_n etc._n etc._n but_o on_o friday_n my_o heart_n be_v keep_v better_o raise_v on_o saturday_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o direct_v i_o how_o i_o may_v meet_v the_o blessing_n of_o the_o next_o sabbath_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o meet_v with_o on_o that_o day_n yet_o be_v trouble_v with_o wander_n in_o my_o evening_n duty_n on_o monday_n the_o presence_n of_o god_n be_v with_o i_o and_o make_v my_o duty_n sweet_a at_o night_n on_o tuesday_n i_o meet_v with_o a_o precious_a opportunity_n for_o my_o soul_n good_a on_o wednesday_n i_o do_v not_o so_o well_o which_o make_v i_o chide_v my_o soul_n for_o no_o better_o requite_v the_o lord_n kindness_n on_o thursday_n morning_n i_o have_v god_n presence_n &_o the_o same_o at_o night_n though_o trouble_v with_o wander_n on_o friday_n i_o have_v many_o outward_a mercy_n yet_o can_v improve_v aright_o neither_o god_n word_n of_o grace_n nor_o his_o work_n of_o mercy_n on_o saturday_n have_v spare_a time_n from_o business_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n thrice_o for_o a_o large_a sight_n of_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n when_o the_o sabbath_n come_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o answer_n of_o peace_n etc._n etc._n thus_o may_v a_o large_a account_n of_o this_o gracious_a youngman_n self-tryal_n and_o watch_n over_o his_o own_o way_n from_o month_n to_o month_n all_o along_o but_o because_o to_o do_v so_o distinct_o from_o day_n to_o day_n will_v fill_v a_o volume_n i_o must_v therefore_o wave_v it_o and_o that_o not_o out_o of_o judgement_n only_o but_o out_o of_o necessity_n also_o see_v the_o key_n that_o open_v his_o charactars_n can_v not_o reach_v they_o all_o neither_o in_o point_n of_o time_n nor_o in_o point_n of_o matter_n the_o judicious_a reader_n may_v easy_o imagine_v that_o this_o defect_n will_v lame_a we_o in_o this_o work_n yet_o though_o it_o cost_v i_o unspeakable_a trouble_n and_o pain_n i_o shall_v follow_v my_o thread_n in_o this_o labyrinth_n i_o have_v already_o give_v a_o exact_a account_n how_o he_o examine_v himself_o upon_o every_o monthly_a sacrament_n from_o august_n 7._o 1681._o to_o jan._n 7._o 1681_o 3._o which_o be_v the_o last_o he_o do_v partake_v of_o for_o not_o long_o after_o his_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o he_o have_v so_o oft_o admire_v and_o embrace_v in_o the_o lord_n supper_n upon_o earth_n call_v he_o home_o to_o sup_v and_o feast_n with_o he_o in_o heaven_n as_o to_o his_o self-tryal_n at_o all_o other_o time_n between_o every_o one_o of_o those_o seventeen_o sacrament_n i_o shall_v proceed_v to_o relate_v so_o far_o as_o my_o key_n will_v carry_v i_o the_o best_a computation_n i_o can_v make_v out_o of_o the_o many_o manuscript_n consist_v of_o above_o thirty_o sheet_n which_o i_o have_v to_o abridge_v and_o methodize_v draw_v out_o of_o his_o diary_n pocket-book_n and_o almanac_n etc._n etc._n he_o renew_v his_o self-examining_a work_n again_o upon_o march_n 17._o 1681_o 2._o be_v friday_n how_o he_o spend_v all_o the_o time_n from_o the_o last_o march_n to_o this_o save_v only_o relate_v to_o the_o sacrament_n we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o want_v it_o for_o want_v of_o better_a help_n but_o upon_o that_o day_n he_o have_v leave_v upon_o record_n he_o have_v wander_v thought_n in_o duty_n do_v little_a for_o the_o good_a of_o other_o my_o sin_n say_v he_o lie_v but_o light_n i_o mourn_v not_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n i_o look_v not_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o be_v i_o concern_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n the_o same_o he_o say_v of_o himself_o in_o spend_v the_o 18_o and_o march_v the_o 19_o be_v the_o sabbath_n he_o remark_n the_o same_o omission_n and_o not_o have_v a_o frame_n suitable_a to_o the_o day_n yea_o in_o night-duty_n pester_v with_o wander_n on_o march_n 20._o i_o arise_v from_o table_n without_o droop_v be_v full_a glad_a to_o meet_v god_n there_o march_n 21._o have_v the_o former_a omission_n and_o heaven_n little_a in_o my_o sight_n 22d_o day_n can_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n and_o the_o same_o frame_n be_v upon_o i_o the_o 23._o and_o 24._o nor_o can_v i_o do_v better_a or_o look_v into_o my_o heart_n the_o 25_o of_o march_n 1682._o nor_o the_o six_o follow_a day_n of_o that_o month_n can_v he_o shake_v of_o those_o omission_n april_n the_o first_o he_o brand_v himself_o with_o the_o same_o neglect_v the_o second_o day_n he_o add_v to_o those_o neglect_n that_o wander_a thought_n have_v eat_v up_o the_o life_n of_o his_o duty_n on_o the_o three_o the_o same_o complaint_n on_o the_o four_o miss_v vain_a thought_n in_o a_o good_a measure_n yet_o only_o through_o the_o strength_n oâ—_n christ_n but_o on_o five_o he_o add_v god_n our_o of_o sight_n &_o heaven_n out_o of_o mind_n on_o the_o six_o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o seven_o my_o own_o sin_n and_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n lie_v too_o light_a upon_o my_o heart_n etc._n etc._n eight_o the_o same_o and_o that_o he_o have_v do_v nothing_o extraordinary_a for_o the_o church_n in_o herday_o of_o distress_n nine_o the_o same_o yet_o have_v some_o good_a thought_n but_o trouble_v with_o wander_n ten_o the_o same_o and_o so_o the_o eleven_o add_v i_o have_v be_v this_o day_n tempt_v to_o pride_n so_o the_o twelve_o thirteen_o and_o fourteen_o be_v fill_v with_o the_o like_a complaint_n and_o fifteen_o he_o add_v i_o have_v be_v spend_v this_o noon_n much_o too_o vain_o the_o sixteenth_o be_v the_o sabbath_n he_o bless_a god_n that_o distraction_n have_v not_o dull_v he_o
in_o duty_n 17_o have_v like_a to_o have_v fall_v into_o passion_n but_o god_n disappoint_v it_o yet_o not_o much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n eighteen_o not_o up_o early_o have_v my_o former_a omission_n and_o commission_n the_o ninteenth_n twenty_v and_o twenty_o first_o yea_o to_o the_o end_n of_o april_n he_o arraigns_n himself_n as_o guilty_a of_o all_o those_o aforesaid_a crime_n then_o may_v 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o 5_o 6._o complain_v of_o all_o those_o evil_n add_v that_o hurrey_n of_o his_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n do_v provoke_v he_o more_o to_o passion_n but_o sometime_o god_n help_v he_o to_o subdue_v it_o etc._n etc._n the_o 7._o be_v sabbath_n day_n sin_n set_v too_o light_a do_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o enough_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n nor_o in_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o serious_o mind_v the_o word_n of_o god_n 8_o 9_o 10_o 11_o 12_o 13._o the_o same_o little_a life_n much_o dullness_n be_v weary_v with_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n 14_o frothy_a discourse_n with_o some_o delight_n o_o sin_n sin_n lay_v too_o light_a both_o i_o own_o and_o the_o land_n sin_n 15_o 16_o 17_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o complaint_n 20._o neglect_v to_o read_v god_n word_n 21_o 22_o 23._o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o may_n he_o cry_v out_o i_o have_v do_v nothing_o for_o myself_o nor_o the_o church_n i_o have_v not_o be_v myself_o hardly_o know_v what_o i_o do_v through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n o_o the_o world_n the_o world_n be_v a_o saâ—_n impediment_n to_o my_o soul_n god_n have_v not_o be_v in_o my_o mind_n heaven_n out_o of_o my_o sight_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o those_o of_o the_o land_n nor_o have_v holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n thus_o he_o say_v particular_o upon_o every_o day_n add_v thus_o i_o continue_v till_o the_o four_o of_o june_n be_v always_o weary_v with_o work_n and_o unfit_a for_o any_o good_a o_o it_o have_v be_v a_o sad_a time_n for_o my_o soul_n thus_o likewise_o i_o neglect_v till_o the_o 17_o of_o june_n on_o which_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n yet_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o neglect_v prevail_v only_o on_o the_o 20._o i_o have_v some_o holy_a ejaculation_n but_o 21_o 22._o the_o same_o and_o 23._o i_o pray_v not_o over_o the_o sermon_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v and_o omit_v all_o as_o before_o 24_o still_o pester_v with_o former_a neglect_n o_o sad_a sad_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v thus_o carry_v under_o grace_n thus_o he_o moan_n on_o 25_o 26._o and_o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o june_n on_o every_o day_n i_o have_v do_v little_a for_o the_o church_n or_o for_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o read_v god_n word_n sin_n sit_v too_o light_a not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n heaven_n have_v be_v out_o of_o sight_n and_o god_n out_o of_o mind_n too_o little_o have_v i_o be_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n with_o wander_n not_o oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n etc._n etc._n july_n 1682._o from_o 1_o to_o 10._o he_o complain_v particular_o upon_o each_o day_n in_o the_o same_o word_n be_v too_o much_o wander_n in_o holy_a duty_n too_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n upon_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v enough_o for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o much_o in_o ejaculation_n heaven_n too_o much_o out_o of_o sight_n etc._n etc._n sometime_o add_v i_o neglect_v read_v god_n word_n have_v do_v little_a for_o god_n church_n have_v not_o mind_v my_o soul_n nor_o god_n praise_n etc._n etc._n then_o conclude_v these_o ten_o day_n with_o this_o divine_a rapture_n o_fw-la this_o deadly_a thing_n sin_n have_v not_o due_o affect_v my_o heart_n into_o what_o a_o sad_a state_n be_v my_o soul_n fall_v o_o my_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o leave_v i_o not_o this_o same_o complaint_n concern_v those_o several_a omission_n he_o carry_v on_o against_o himself_o quite_o through_o july_n to_o the_o last_o day_n august_n 1682._o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o the_o same_o neglect_v all_o along_o the_o month_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o every_o day_n of_o the_o four_o week_n distinct_o yet_o sometime_o add_v god_n help_v i_o on_o the_o 2_o of_o august_n against_o my_o deadly_a sin_n on_o the_o 6_o day_n be_v the_o sabbath_n i_o be_v less_o trouble_v with_o wander_n than_o i_o be_v the_o day_n after_o on_o the_o 8_o day_n i_o arise_v from_o supper_n without_o drop_v any_o savoury_a word_n at_o the_o table_n on_o the_o 11._o god_n keep_v i_o much_o from_o my_o sin_n this_o day_n on_o the_o 13._o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n though_o the_o devil_n tell_v i_o i_o have_v not_o beg_v god_n presence_n my_o dear_a lord_n help_v i_o to_o repulse_v he_o with_o ease_n on_o the_o 16_o out_o of_o order_n all_o the_o day_n but_o at_o night_n god_n shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n more_o than_o a_o long_a time_n before_o but_o lose_v all_o the_o two_o follow_a day_n be_v hurry_v with_o cast_v up_o our_o shop_n go_v backward_o not_o forward_o on_o 19_o i_o feel_v my_o deadly_a sin_n crawl_v apace_o towards_o my_o heart_n which_o put_v i_o upon_o examination_n the_o 20._o day_n and_o find_v it_o not_o in_o vain_a to_o cast_v my_o burden_n upon_o the_o lord_n for_o i_o have_v thereby_o relief_n against_o my_o pride_n etc._n etc._n for_o which_o i_o have_v cry_v mighty_o to_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n after_o which_o i_o have_v sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n than_o the_o tempter_n strong_o tempt_v i_o to_o neglect_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o word_n but_o put_v up_o a_o ejaculation_n i_o have_v strength_n to_o overcome_v he_o again_o after_o hear_v a_o sermon_n i_o go_v down_o into_o the_o cellar_n to_o pray_v where_o the_o devil_n will_v affright_v i_o that_o something_o will_v appear_v which_o through_o the_o help_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o stout_o resist_v and_o bid_v satan_n defiance_n than_o he_o object_v against_o i_o my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o i_o can_v not_o but_o own_o yet_o can_v he_o not_o make_v i_o think_v so_o long_o upon_o it_o as_o to_o distract_v i_o in_o duty_n which_o be_v the_o devil_n design_n but_o osubtil_a serpent_n my_o lord_n goodness_n strengthen_v i_o to_o triumph_v over_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v a_o comfortable_a season_n upon_o the_o 21_o of_o august_n 1682._o all_o my_o old_a neglect_n prevail_v and_o wander_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n but_o god_n hear_v my_o ejaculation_n i_o get_v up_o early_o in_o the_o morning_n which_o sweet_a way_n i_o have_v much_o neglect_v through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n to_o pray_v wherein_o i_o find_v much_o of_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n love_v that_o lovely_a lovely_a one_o thy_o lord_n who_o have_v hear_v thou_o have_v do_v be_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o and_o will_v do_v great_a on_o the_o 26._o i_o neglect_v read_v the_o word_n be_v too_o much_o about_o worldly_a affair_n which_o take_v i_o off_o from_o god_n and_o i_o lose_v my_o time_n in_o duty_n nor_o can_v i_o get_v up_o my_o thought_n to_o my_o god_n in_o my_o hurry_v yet_o on_o the_o saturday_n follow_v i_o recover_v a_o bless_a frame_n o_o my_o soul_n love_n and_o praise_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o september_n the_o 2._o i_o be_v at_o a_o fast_o for_o the_o fire_n of_o london_n where_o i_o be_v not_o free_a of_o my_o aforesaid_a omission_n yet_o wait_v there_o all_o the_o day_n at_o length_n have_v the_o sweet_a presence_n of_o god_n on_o the_o 4._o i_o have_v heaven_n in_o my_o sight_n and_o but_o little_o trouble_v with_o wander_n yet_o too_o little_o look_v i_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o sit_v up_o late_o for_o duty_n and_o god_n make_v it_o sweet_a to_o i_o on_o the_o seven_o he_o make_v his_o old_a moan_n against_o himself_o say_v i_o feat_n my_o own_o self_n righteousness_n the_o 10._o god_n discover_v my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o cause_v his_o withdrawment_n from_o i_o and_o that_o wish_v to_o die_v to_o avoid_v misery_n by_o god_n withdrawing_n be_v but_o a_o pang_n of_o passion_n the_o 15._o old_a wander_n etc._n etc._n return_v i_o think_v my_o murmur_a be_v the_o cause_n i_o first_o read_v isa_n 65.22_o 23_o 24._o from_o whence_o upon_o my_o ejaculation_n god_n speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o so_o have_v after_o delight_n in_o duty_n the_o 19_o god_n discover_v another_o sin_n my_o seeking_z the_o praise_n of_o man_n that_o darken_v his_o face_n from_o i_o the_o 23._o but_o little_a sensible_a how_o i_o have_v grieve_v away_o god_n good_a spirit_n in_o morning_n prayer_n the_o 25._o have_v little_a sense_n of_o god_n put_v a_o vail_n
over_o his_o face_n towards_o i_o which_o i_o bewail_v little_a the_o other_o day_n of_o this_o month_n i_o neglect_v be_v out_o of_o town_n to_o take_v a_o account_n of_o only_o in_o the_o general_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o deadly_a sin_n prevail_v most_o while_o my_o soul_n be_v most_o cloud_v october_n the_o one_a my_o old_a distraction_n disturb_a i_o run_v from_o the_o cellar_n up_o to_o the_o closet_n and_o from_o thence_o to_o the_o cellar_n again_o yet_o have_v through_o grace_n a_o little_a of_o god_n presence_n the_o second_o i_o be_v too_o rash_a in_o speak_v a_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o so_o the_o 3._o i_o be_v unwilling_a to_o pray_v in_o the_o cellar_n at_o night_n yet_o make_v willing_a to_o go_v i._o find_v much_o of_o the_o presence_n of_o he_o who_o have_v thus_o incline_v i_o the_o 4._o i_o speak_v not_o of_o god_n in_o company_n of_o other_o yet_o with_o another_o companion_n my_o god_n help_v i_o to_o savoury_a discourse_n in_o prayer_n but_o then_o to_o epsom_n till_o the_o 14_o day_n i_o be_v under_o dreadful_a desertion_n which_o make_v i_o cry_v out_o woe_n be_v i_o i_o have_v sin_v away_o my_o god_n by_o my_o mind_v the_o world_n too_o much_o and_o my_o god_n too_o little_a and_o by_o rely_v too_o much_o on_o my_o own_o strength_n on_o the_o 14._o he_o renew_v his_o old_a complaint_n heaven_n out_o of_o sight_n not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n nor_o my_o own_o etc._n etc._n add_v rose_n from_o table_n without_o any_o thing_n of_o god_n there_o on_o the_o 15_o not_o so_o much_o trouble_v as_o before_o with_o wander_n yet_o sin_n set_v too_o light_a etc._n etc._n the_o 16._o and_o 17._o the_o same_o the_o 18._o and_o 19_o bad_a the_o 20._o not_o so_o bad_a have_v at_o night_n god_n presence_n and_o some_o sense_n of_o sin_n which_o make_v i_o burst_v out_o cry_v how_o have_v i_o be_v hop_v from_o mountain_n to_o hill_n through_o simplicity_n forget_v my_o right_a rest_a place_n o_o that_o those_o lose_a minute_n and_o hour_n have_v be_v spend_v in_o the_o sweet_a converse_n with_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n but_o now_o from_o this_o time_n the_o lord_n grant_v great_a reformation_n in_o john_n draper_n the_o 23._o of_o october_n 1682._o he_o say_v i_o have_v strive_v this_o day_n to_o get_v to_o god_n but_o can_v not_o fast_v and_o three_o time_n pray_v still_o the_o face_n of_o god_n be_v hide_v from_o i_o the_o 24._o still_o under_o god_n withdrawing_n so_o on_o 25_o 26_o and_o 28_o no_o better_o with_o i_o on_o the_o 29_o 30_o and_o 31_o but_o wander_n in_o duty_n no_o right_a mourning_n for_o sin_n dull_a dead_a and_o thought_n most_o take_v up_o with_o the_o world_n very_o little_a of_o god_n in_o all_o that_o i_o do_v so_o that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v november_n the_o 1_o can_v not_o gain_v god_n presence_n 2._o the_o same_o but_o not_o so_o bad_a in_o duty_n 3_o and_o 4._o as_o bad_a o_o sad_a sad_a sad_a but_o on_o 6._o have_v much_o of_o god_n presence_n 8_o 9_o bid_v again_o so_o 10._o and_o 11._o still_o dull_a and_o cold_a so_o 12._o and_o 13._o and_o endways_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n december_n have_v be_v long_o out_o of_o town_n half_a of_o the_o forego_n month_n till_o the_o four_o of_o this_o month_n and_o live_v as_o without_o god_n my_o mind_n take_v up_o with_o the_o world_n no_o long_n after_o god_n presence_n it_o be_v a_o good_a providence_n i_o see_v their_o worship_n at_o windsor_n which_o do_v more_o establish_v i_o this_o month_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o the_o deformity_n of_o all_o sublunary_a thing_n without_o god_n now_o i_o see_v my_o folly_n and_o oh_o that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v too_o late_a i_o can_v weep_v night_n and_o day_n for_o my_o great_a loss_n of_o god_n i_o be_o so_o perplex_v that_o i_o scarce_o know_v what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o etc._n etc._n january_n 5._o 1682._o i_o be_v take_v very_o ill_o so_o that_o those_o about_o i_o think_v i_o be_v a_o die_a but_o god_n raise_v i_o up_o again_o oh_o that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o die_v to_o sin_n and_o and_o live_v to_o god_n the_o seven_o which_o be_v his_o seventeen_o and_o last_o sacrament-day_n make_v his_o former_a moan_n about_o wander_n etc._n etc._n add_v i_o lay_v in_o bed_n too_o long_o when_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v upon_o my_o knee_n yet_o have_v more_o evidence_n that_o day_n than_o for_o along_o time_n before_o after_o this_o be_v take_v with_o a_o dizziness_n in_o my_o head_n like_v to_o fall_v down_o stair_n about_o 8._o have_v a_o great_a pain_n in_o my_o side_n and_o my_o fit_n come_v about_o ten_o then_o from_o day_n to_o day_n lay_v long_o in_o bed_n have_v little_a of_o god_n sometime_o forget_v how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o not_o mind_v my_o inward_a man_n enough_o by_o distemper_n of_o my_o outward_a on_o the_o 22._o i_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v if_o god_n call_v i_o to_o suffering_n and_o think_v god_n hand_n be_v not_o shorten_v to_o strengthen_v i_o as_o he_o have_v do_v all_o the_o martyr_n on_o 25_o my_o cough_n and_o pain_n in_o my_o left_a side_n grow_v upon_o i_o so_o unfit_a i_o for_o duty_n yet_o on_o 30._o i_o pray_v and_o have_v a_o clear_a sight_n of_o god_n and_o of_o my_o christ_n my_o dear_a redeemer_n blessed_n for_o ever_o bless_v be_v his_o holy_a name_n lest_o any_o ponderous_a passage_n out_o of_o his_o diary_n that_o may_v be_v profitable_a to_o posterity_n shall_v be_v omit_v which_o through_o the_o break_a account_n i_o have_v of_o his_o manuscript_n can_v easy_o be_v avoid_v i_o shall_v reduce_v the_o most_o remarkable_a of_o they_o to_o those_o remark_n or_o head_n follow_v the_o first_o remark_n be_v this_o gracious_a youngman_n diary_n do_v plain_o proclaim_v that_o god_n make_v he_o live_v at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o chequer_n his_o life_n this_o last_o year_n be_v strange_o chequer_a with_o the_o black_a of_o misery_n and_o with_o the_o white_a of_o mercy_n he_o be_v get_v into_o canaan_n a_o land_n of_o hill_n and_o valley_n now_o up_o and_o now_o down_o one_o while_o mourning_n for_o god_n absence_n and_o another_o while_n magnify_v he_o for_o his_o presence_n etc._n etc._n the_o second_o remark_n however_o god_n withdraw_v from_o he_o on_o the_o weekday_n yet_o do_v he_o most_o enjoy_v lest_o or_o more_o of_o god_n on_o the_o sabbath_n as_o well_o as_o sacrament_n day_n this_o i_o find_v in_o his_o own_o record_n which_o be_v to_o bear_v up_o his_o head_n above_o water_n in_o his_o conflict_n the_o three_o remark_n be_v he_o observe_v god_n tenderness_n towards_o he_o in_o never_o withdraw_a too_o long_o from_o he_o for_o though_o he_o find_v himself_o dull_a and_o dead_a in_o duty_n in_o the_o morning_n of_o the_o sabbath_n yet_o find_v he_o life_n and_o warmth_n at_o evening_n etc._n etc._n four_o when_o he_o be_v command_v to_o stay_v at_o home_n for_o keep_v the_o house_n and_o shop_n upon_o the_o sabbath_n from_o sermon_n he_o say_v god_n make_v that_o time_n of_o privacy_n a_o most_o sweet_a time_n to_o he_o when_o god_n deny_v mean_n he_o supply_v mean_n five_o he_o remark_n how_o oft_o he_o be_v interrupt_v in_o his_o private_a duty_n be_v call_v off_o from_o they_o as_o he_o be_v a_o servant_n to_o his_o master_n which_o the_o envious_a one_o may_v have_v a_o hand_n in_o as_o prayer_n be_v a_o charm_n and_o torment_v to_o he_o when_o god_n be_v present_a etc._n etc._n six_o he_o note_v that_o the_o low_a cellar_n be_v his_o oratory_n or_o place_n of_o private_a prayer_n where_o he_o spend_v many_o hour_n without_o either_o fire_n or_o candle_n in_o the_o night_n and_o once_o have_v the_o door_n break_v open_a to_o fetch_v some_o candle_n while_o he_o be_v in_o his_o devotion_n etc._n etc._n seven_o he_o observe_v god_n deal_n with_o his_o soul_n from_o one_o sabbath_n to_o another_o and_o from_o one_o week_n day_n to_o another_o take_a notice_n of_o all_o his_o omission_n of_o good_a and_o of_o all_o his_o commission_n of_o evil_a from_o monday_n morning_n to_o saturday_n night_n eight_o this_o be_v not_o only_o his_o practice_n every_o week_n from_o the_o begin_n to_o the_o end_n of_o the_o year_n as_o be_v above_o mention_v but_o also_o every_o day_n how_o it_o be_v with_o his_o soul_n god_n ward_n morning_n noon_n and_o night_n and_o what_o discourse_n at_o meat_n time_n also_o nine_o so_o strict_a be_v his_o scrutiny_n and_o self-tryal_n that_o he_o set_v down_o once_o the_o thought_n of_o have_v a_o god_n ring_n and_o another_o time_n thought_n oâ—_n get_v some_o book_n the_o tempteâ—_n make_v use_v of_o to_o justle_v out_o his_o thought_n of_o god_n etc._n
etc._n ten_o so_o observant_a be_v he_o 〈◊〉_d all_o the_o working_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n that_o he_o set_v down_o how_o that_o when_o he_o be_v pray_v once_o in_o the_o dark_a cellar_n without_o any_o light_n the_o tempter_n possess_v he_o with_o fear_n that_o something_o will_v appear_v to_o affright_v he_o but_o god_n gracious_o step_v in_o and_o say_v to_o he_o fear_v not_o thou_o son_n of_o abraham_n etc._n etc._n gen._n 15.1_o eleven_o he_o record_v the_o very_a day_n wherein_o he_o miss_v his_o take_v a_o account_n of_o his_o own_o daily_a task_n of_o self_n examination_n and_o when_o he_o omit_v the_o scatter_n of_o some_o savoury_a discourse_n become_v table-talk_a at_o meat-time_n twelve_o he_o compute_v the_o very_a time_n first_o when_o mourn_v for_o sin_n be_v make_v sweet_a to_o his_o soul_n second_o when_o he_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n in_o prayer_n both_o by_o himself_o and_o with_o other_o three_o how_o often_o god_n come_v to_o he_o when_o disturb_v in_o duty_n or_o disappoint_v of_o it_o be_v constrain_v thereby_o sometime_o to_o pour_v out_o his_o heart_n to_o god_n in_o the_o shop_n by_o day_n and_o upon_o his_o bed_n by_o night_n in_o both_o which_o place_n he_o have_v sweet_a warming_n of_o spirit_n four_o how_o oft_o he_o make_v resignation_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n which_o be_v very_o frequent_a as_o also_o how_o oft_o he_o renew_v his_o covenant_n with_o god_n especial_o upon_o sacrament_n day_n which_o be_v the_o most_o material_a remark_n whereof_o i_o will_v not_o omit_v one_o out_o of_o choice_n i_o can_v collect_v out_o of_o the_o many_o sheet_n i_o have_v to_o peruse_v in_o my_o oft_o read_v they_o over_o and_o have_v not_o the_o same_o matter_n so_o oft_o upon_o distinct_a occasion_n repeat_v be_v reduce_v by_o this_o method_n to_o those_o few_o several_a head_n this_o tract_n may_v have_v swell_v into_o a_o volume_n chap._n v._n the_o last_o subject_n of_o this_o discourse_n be_v twofold_a first_o the_o evidence_n he_o have_v for_o heaven_n second_o the_o character_n that_o be_v give_v he_o by_o gracious_a and_o judicious_a witnessing_n of_o other_o as_o to_o the_o first_o i_o find_v several_a evidence_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n and_o which_o give_v sweet_a encouragement_n to_o his_o soul_n that_o he_o be_v a_o choose_a vessel_n of_o mercy_n and_o one_o to_o be_v fill_v as_o with_o grace_n here_o so_o with_o glory_n hereafter_o first_o i_o know_v my_o repentance_n say_v he_o because_o my_o sense_n under_o sin_n as_o a_o burden_n be_v heavy_a to_o my_o soul_n than_o all_o my_o affliction_n be_v to_o my_o body_n i_o be_o ashamed_a of_o my_o secret_a sin_n which_o no_o man_n see_v or_o know_v before_o the_o lord_n who_o see_v and_o know_v they_o and_o all_o other_o thing_n and_o i_o desire_v to_o leave_v my_o darling_n sin_n and_o to_o leave_v all_o love_n to_o it_o yea_o to_o loath_a it_o through_o my_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o my_o lord_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o i_o account_v dear_a to_o i_o than_o any_o sin_n yea_o than_o all_o the_o world_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o know_v say_v he_o that_o to_o have_v true_a faith_n by_o christ_n be_v more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o receive_v he_o into_o my_o heart_n as_o my_o lord_n and_o king_n to_o rule_v i_o and_o my_o faith_n work_v by_o love_n so_o that_o i_o be_o grieve_v for_o his_o absence_n and_o rejoice_v at_o his_o presence_n and_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o he_o that_o he_o may_v be_v my_o all_o and_o in_o all_o three_o i_o find_v a_o delight_n to_o do_v god_n will_v sometime_o in_o pray_v to_o he_o sometime_o in_o praise_v of_o he_o sometime_o in_o hear_v from_o he_o and_o sometime_o in_o meditate_v upon_o he_o and_o upon_o that_o work_n of_o man_n redemption_n four_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n mourn_v most_o for_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v my_o peace_n and_o most_o separate_v betwixt_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n and_o long_v most_o for_o that_o mercy_n that_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n to_o wit_v not_o general_a but_o special_a mercy_n even_o mercy_n in_o christ_n five_o i_o can_v say_v that_o i_o love_v the_o lord_n for_o i_o hate_v that_o which_o grieve_v he_o and_o that_o because_o it_o grieve_v he_o and_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v most_o like_o he_o yea_o the_o place_n and_o duty_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n warm_v my_o heart_n and_o can_v be_v content_a without_o he_o in_o any_o sixthly_a i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n spiritual_a for_o i_o find_v hungring_n and_o thirsting_n after_o a_o enjoyment_n of_o christ_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n grieve_v when_o he_o be_v dishonour_v either_o by_o myself_o or_o by_o other_o and_o i_o love_v long_a and_o look_v for_o his_o last_o appear_v and_o come_v seven_o i_o high_o value_v the_o gospel_n that_o word_n of_o christ_n and_o truth_n which_o bring_v good_a tiding_n even_o reconciliation_n and_o the_o dispensation_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n which_o have_v be_v hide_v some_o thousand_o of_o year_n and_o now_o be_v forfeit_v yet_o gracious_o continue_v to_o we_o though_o withdraw_v from_o many_o nation_n i_o be_o thankful_a for_o it_o labour_v to_o live_v like_o it_o and_o to_o adorn_v it_o with_o my_o life_n daily_o eight_o i_o know_v that_o matter_n be_v agree_v with_o god_n so_o that_o he_o be_v now_o no_o adversary_n because_o i_o find_v a_o oneness_n with_o he_o 1._o in_o mind_n which_o be_v make_v correspondent_a with_o the_o mind_n of_o god_n by_o this_o agreement_n i_o can_v think_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v great_a riches_n than_o the_o treasure_n of_o aegrpt_a heb._n 11.26_o 2._o oneness_n of_o will_n i_o can_v say_v whether_o for_o life_n or_o death_n the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v acts._n 21.14_o though_o there_o have_v be_v much_o ado_n to_o bring_v my_o will_n into_o a_o agreement_n with_o god_n and_o when_o i_o find_v not_o sometime_o a_o actual_a agreement_n yet_o have_v i_o always_o a_o habitual_a agreement_n of_o my_o will_n with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n 3._o oneness_n of_o affection_n i_o love_v what_o god_n love_v and_o hate_v what_o god_n hate_v psal_n 119.70_o jer._n 44.4_o i_o hate_v sin_n which_o god_n hate_v so_o i_o love_v holiness_n which_o god_n love_v 4._o oneness_n of_o way_n can_v two_o walk_v together_o unless_o they_o be_v agree_v amos_n 3.3_o psal_n 119.30_o and_o 25_o 5._o and_o isa_n 56.4_o 5._o 5._o oneness_n of_o interest_n god_n interest_n be_v i_o and_o my_o interest_n be_v god_n i_o can_v say_v in_o the_o witnessing_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n rom._n 9.1_o that_o there_o be_v this_o fivefold_a oneness_n betwixt_o god_n and_o i_o so_o be_v agree_v the_o nine_o evidence_n for_o his_o interest_n in_o heaven_n be_v his_o holy_a jealousy_n over_o his_o own_o heart_n in_o all_o his_o holy_a undertake_n ever_o fear_v that_o some_o by_o respect_n and_o not_o god_n glory_n be_v the_o motive_n that_o lead_v he_o to_o holy_a duty_n this_o he_o oft_o pray_v against_o and_o particular_o caution_n a_o gracious_a youngman_n with_o who_o he_o have_v agree_v to_o carry_v on_o a_o christian_a correspondency_n either_o in_o absence_n by_o letter_n or_o in_o presence_n by_o conference_n that_o herein_o they_o do_v not_o bring_v hurt_v instead_o of_o good_a to_o themselves_o by_o seek_v ourselves_o and_o not_o he_o who_o we_o be_v etc._n etc._n we_o be_v not_o our_o own_o but_o christ_n who_o pay_v dear_o for_o we_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v worth_a and_o we_o have_v covenant_v to_o glorify_v he_o not_o ourselves_o etc._n etc._n this_o holy_a jealousy_n be_v a_o bless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n ten_o his_o prize_v a_o union_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n above_o the_o confluence_n of_o all_o worldly_a comfort_n this_o point_n he_o in_o another_o letter_n to_o the_o youngman_n aforesaid_a when_o in_o the_o country_n by_o sickness_n much_o insist_o upon_o say_v while_o we_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n we_o have_v the_o hide_a manna_n and_o that_o joy_n which_o stranger_n to_o god_n intermeddle_v not_o not_o with_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o worse_o than_o nothing_o without_o it_o it_o be_v heaven_n upon_o earth_n and_o it_o be_v heaven_n in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n thus_o david_n reckon_v one_o day_n with_o god_n better_a than_o a_o thousand_o without_o he_o etc._n etc._n eleven_o o_o what_o carefulness_n do_v i_o find_v in_o all_o his_o manuscript_n as_o well_o as_o in_o his_o letter_n express_v to_o keep_v his_o account_n even_o betwixt_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n that_o right_a reckon_n may_v keep_v they_o long_a friend_n in_o his_o