is the first Commandment in the Law with Promise and to let you see how God delights in your honouring your Parents and obeying their wholesom Counsels he hath singled out that Precept and dress'd it with more than ordinary encouragements But then the Honour you shew them must not spend it self in some outward Civilities but must be expressed in Actions in Speeches and in Patience according to the Advice of the Son of Syrach Ecclesiastic 3.12 13 14. In Actions so as to execute their lawful Commands with great alacrity and fidelity to labour and to take pains for their maintenance and support if they are fallen to decay and to relieve their necessities according to your ability In Words and Speeches so as to speak honourably of them to answer them with humility to comfort them when they are in trouble and to pacifie them with soft language when they are angry and displeased In Patience so as to bear their anger patiently and to endure their frowardness and pettishness without contradiction to receive their severer Commands and such as are contrary to your genius and inclination with gentleness and to do them without murmuring These are Duties which draw more than ordinary Blessings upon you God that sees you do so will have thoughts of peace towards you he will be concerned for you and you may be confident he will not leave you nor forsake you In honouring your Parents you honour your selves It 's that which will not only procure you favour with God but with men too It 's upon this account that Wise men have recorded the Dutifulness of some excellent Children and made them immortal by their Writings and there are such Examples of this filial Respect even among the Heathen that it would be odious and dreadful if the Children of Christians should fall short of their Duty God lays so great a stress upon it that as he promises the kindest things to it so he threatens as severe punishments where it is neglected and that he doth not only threaten but execute these Judgments any man may see that will take notice of his Providences But all this the Reader will be more fully convinced of by reading the following Discourse which that God may bless with success and edification shall be my hearty Prayer A. Horneck ADVICE TO PARENTS BY A Divine of the Church of England LONDON Printed for S. Lowndes near the Savoy-Gate in the Strand 1690. THE CONTENTS Of Advice to Parents PART I. THE Introduction shewing the great Importance of the right Education of Children Pag. 1 How Parents ought to be affected while Children are yet in the Womb. 2 How they ought to he affected when their Children are born 3 The Duties of Parents for their Childrens Souls 1. Duty To Consecrate them to God in Baptism 4 2. Duty to season their minds betimes with good Impressions 7 3 Duty to teach them to pray 9 4. Duty to observe carefully their Temper and Disposition and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein 12 5. Duty to see that they be taught to read 18 Great care ought to be taken what Books they read 20 6. Duty to bring them to the place of publick Worship so soon as they are fit for it 23 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant 24 The Benefit of Confirmation if performed in a right manner 25 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table 28 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to self-Examination 30 Some plain and easie Directions how to Examin themselves 31 32 c. 10. Duty to observe what Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith in due time 36 Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours Effectual 1. Direction They must give their Children good Example 37 2. They must chuse good Company for them 38 Advice to Parents who send their Children abroad to Travel 31 3 They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how 42 The Evil of too great Severity 44. 4. They must carefully improve the time of their Childrens sickness or of any other afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 45 5. They must daily pray to God for them 47 Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things 1. Motive from the Divine Command 48 2. Motive from its being a Work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 49 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 51 4. Motive from the sad effects which attend the neglect of these Duties 52. PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies 1. Duty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 56 2. Duty about Childrens dyet 58 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 59 The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children 1. Duty about chusing a fit trade for their Children 61 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage 62 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation for their comfortable subsistence in the World 65 The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents 68 An Appendix concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by Death 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 75 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 76 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 81 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 86 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive grief and mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt 88 Some Forms of Prayer which Parents may teach their Children according to their Age. 93 THE CONTENTS OF Advice to Children THE Introduction 103 1. Duty of Children to honour their Parents And how they are to honour them 104 Against those who dishonour their rents 107 2. Duty of Children to obey their Parents 110 Against Stubborn and disobedient Children 112 3. Duty of Children to be determined by their Parents as to their Calling 114 Against Children who neglect this Duty 116 4. Duty of Children not to suffer themselves to be bestowed in marriage against their Parents will 118 Against those Children who neglect this Duty 120 5. Duty of Children to submit to their Parents Reproofs and chastenings 120 Against Rebellious Children 122 6. Duty of Children to love their Parents and how they are to express their Love 124 Against unkind and unnatural Children 127 7. Duty of Children to pray for their Parents 128 Against Cursers of Parents 129 Motives to excite Children to do these things 1. Motive from the Authority of him who commands them to do these things 131 2. Motive from the Promise made to those who do their Duty 133 3. Motive from the Example of our Blessed Master 136 4. Motive from the Examples of some Heathens 139 The Conclusion shewing how Children ought to improve what hath been
jam viventem jam hominem jam matris officia implorantem Lam. 4.3 Even the Sea Monsters draw out the Breast they give Suck to their young ones And shall Women degenerate into such unnatural Barbarity towards their young as is not to be met with amongst the most savage Creatures Shall they whose love and tenderness has been so noted and admired prove unkind and cruel to the fruit of their own Womb 2ly When Children are fit for stronger Food 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. Parents are not to indulge them too much in gratifying the curiosity and daintiness of their Palate which not only is apt to make them too soft and tender but likewise disposeth them to gluttony and sensuality to make their Belly their God It is fit to accustom them to a plain and simple Diet which is generally more wholsom than that sort of Food which is very artifically prepared The State of all Humane Things is very uncertain they who have at present all manner of things in greatest plenty and variety may meet with changes and vicissitudes It 's therefore a part of the Wisdom of Parents to accustom their Children so far as their Health and strength can bear it to eat any sort of Food that so if God sees fit to change their outward condition and circumstances they may be the more fit and able to endure such an alteration Thirdly As to their Habit and Apparel 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel Parents ought to cloathe them decently but not gorgeously Fineries and Gayeties in Apparel are apt to make people especially younger persons vain and conceited to value themselves upon their gay Cloathing It is fit often to suggest to them that their Cloaths and Apparel are but borrowed Feathers and therefore that it is a great folly to be proud of that which is not their own but which they owe to the Sheep or Goats to the Worms or Bowels of the Earth It is not fit for Parents to make too great distinction among their Children as to their Apparel because this is apt to cause discontents and jealousies hatred and envy contentions and quarrellings amongst them Joseph's Coat of many Colours which his old Father Jacob gave him caused his Brothers to hate and envy him and at last to conspire most wickedly against him Gen. 37.3 4. c. The same is to be said as to their Diet and other things wherein it is no small part of the Wisdom of Parents not to shew too much fondness to one above all the rest This does not hinder but that Parents may to very good purpose give Rewards to their Children for their Acts of Virtue for their ready and chearful Obedience to their Commands for their diligence and care in performing what was appointed them c. Whereby they who do such things are encouraged and they who do not but are careless and negligent are punished and spurred up to amend their faults But when such marks of favour are bestowed 't is fit to let the rest know that if they do as well they also shall have a Reward By which means they will see that Virtue and Goodness are the things which their Parents love and esteem most and for which they are ready to bestow the marks of their affection The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children A third thing that belongs to the care of Parents is the outward Estate of their Children First When they are fit for a Trade 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trâ—… them they ought to chuse an honest Employment for them To suffer them to live in Idleness is to ruin them If they have not some useful thing or other to take up their thoughts they are in great hazard of finding somewhat to do which is bad and hurtful both to themselves and others The Devil is always at hand to furnish Occasions to idle people for employing themselves to their own destruction As to the particular kind of Employment wherein Children are to spend their days it is to be left to the discretion and prudence of Parents They are so to instruct and dispose the minds of their Children that they may be ready to be determined to any Trade or manner of Life that 's honest which their Parents think best and meetest for them to follow But yet a great regard is to be had to the particular Genius and Inclination of Children which ordinarily disposeth them more for one sort of Employment than another It will make them more diligent in learning their Trade when they have a delight in it Otherwise if they are put forth to a Trade against their minds they are more likely to neglect it or to break off from it Seldom do such persons attain unto great perfection in their Employment who follow it against the grain 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage Secondly When they are fit for Marriage Parents are so to dispose of them as that in all likelyhood they may be happy in such a state of Life They are not to constrain them to marry against their will for such marriages are seldom happy they end too often in somewhat or other very Tragical and Calamitous to one or t'other party if not to both Great care is to be taken that there be not too great inequality of outward state and condition for that occasions often neglect and contempt of the person that is inferiour to the other in some external advantages Nor yet too great inequality of years for that doth likewise sooner or later cause an abatement and decay and sometimes an utter extinction of that Respect and Love which is necessary to make those who are married happy Parents are not in disposing of their Children in Marriage to govern themselves wholly by their respect to Riches and Honour but are to have a regard to Virtue and Goodness so far as to prefer one who is discreet and wise of a Virtuous and good disposition to another that is foolish or indiscreet and prophane and Atheistical tho' attended with greater degrees of Wealth and Earthly Honour What a great Reproach is it to our Religion to think that so many Parents in disposing of their Children only consider how much Wealth they may have and what Friends and Alliances they may make by marrying into such a Family or what Profits and Preferments may be expected thereby As for any other thing they do not much trouble their Heads about it They know no other happiness but in the things of this life and therefore they seek nothing else for their Children but to make them great and wealthy by which means it often comes to pass that they bring their Children into a most miserable and unhappy state of life in which they must pine away their days in sorrow and grief in the Company of foolish and wicked wretches who are often in a fury and rage who spend their time in gaming and drinking in Cursing and Swearing
in quarrelling and fighting in whoring and ranting and such like woful doings which cannot but prove to those who have any the least degree of real goodness so very uneasie and afflictive that Wealth and Riches can make no amends for them Such unfortunate persons cannot but often envy the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low estate and condition but yet live in peace and quietness in love and concord and in the fear of God and so enjoy-real satisfaction and contentment and have a great deal of Comfort to sweeten their outward Wants and Necessities Prov. 15.16 17. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great Treasure and trouble therewith Better is a Dinner of Herbs where Love is than a stalled Ox and hatred therewith Thirdly Parents are to provide for them 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World if they can somewhat that may be a foundation for their Comfortable subsistance in the World which by the Blessing of God on their Callings may be improved towards their living decently and honestly Parents are not to propose to themselves the rendring their Children very Great and Rich But as they themselves having Food and Rayment are to be therewith content so if they can get Necessaries for their Children they ought to rest satisfied and be thankful Our life that is the happiness of our life doth not consist in the abundance of the things we possess Luke 12.15 Tho' you are thus to provide for your Children yet you are not out of too great thoughtfulness about the time to come to restrain your selves from doing all necessary Offices of Charity to the poor who do now stand in need of your help Never neglect a present Duty for fear of an uncertain inconvenience You are forbid to take thought for the Morrow Matth. 6.34 But you are required to do good to all Men while you have opportunity Gal. 6.10 To cast your Bread upon the Waters to give a Portion to seven as also unto eight because you know not what evil there may be in the Earth Eccles 11.1 2. This is the way to lay up Treasures for your Children to entail upon them great Blessings to make God their Guardian to leave them to his merciful and kind Providence and to his Almighty protection Ps 37.25 26. I have been young and now am old yet have I not seen the Righteous forsaken nor his Seed begging Bread He is ever merciful and lendeth and his Seed is Blessed So that by your Bounty and Charity you put forth your Money into God's hands who will not fail to repay it with Usury He that gives to the poor lendeth to the Lord. You thereby bring your Wares to a good Market The liberal Soul shall be made fat Prov. 11.25 He that gives to the poor shall not lack Prov. 28.27 and Deut. 15.10 it is written Thou shalt surely give him to wit thy poor Brother and thy heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him because that for this thing the Lord thy God shall bless thee in all thy Works and in all that thou puttest thine hands unto And in the Epistle to the Hebrews ch 6. v. 10. it is said God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love which you have shewed towards his Name in that you have ministred to the Saints and do minister From all which it appears that Charity and Liberality are the best Husbandry As you are to beware lest your care for your Children make you neglect necessary Duties of Charity so you are to take heed lest you use any unlawful method to get Wealth to bestow upon them This is not a way to make them rich for such Riches seldom prosper There is a Curse which attends all unlawful Gain and like a Canker eats it out and consumes it All Ages and Places afford Examples which confirm this Observation Better saith Solomon Prov. 16.8 is a little with Righteousness than great Revenues without Right Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents From what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong to Christian Parents That you may the better act your part 't is fit for you when you call your selves to an account about your Lives and Conversations to make enquiry particularly how you perform the Duties of Parents towards your Children as to their Souls their Bodies and Outward Concerns And if upon serious enquiry you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them then bless and praise God who gives you both to will and to do according to his good pleasure Beg his pardon for those imperfections and defects that attend all Humane Actions Resolve to go on and not to grow weary in your Duty towards them that so they may be as happy in all respects as is possible for you by the help of God to make them But if upon enquiry you find that you have been very defective in your duty towards your Children that you have done very little good for their Souls and not what you should and might have done for their Bodies and outward Estate and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your Evil Counsel and Prophane and Wretched Example that you have led them on in the Broad Way which leads to the Chambers of Death that you have robbed God who bestowed them on you of their Service and Obedience and have made them the Servants of Sin that you have contributed to the making them Heirs of Wrath Children of Disobedience who were made by their Baptism Children of God and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven that you have done what tended to destroy eternally those Souls and Bodies which God intrusted with you that you might take care of them and do what you could to make them happy If I say upon enquiry into your hearts and lives you find your selves guilty of those things how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of Heart to weep and lament to abhor your selves in Dust and Ashes to confess and acknowledge your sins with great humility and contrition to implore the divine mercy and forgiveness with all earnestness for the sake of his dear Son to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and doings to beg grace from God that he would assist you that he would compass you about with his Salvation and never leave you nor forsake you Consider the particular things wherein you have hurt the Souls of your Children and
the Lord shall forgive her because her Father disallowed her Now if it be thus in a Father's power to disanul his Daughters rash Vow which she made to God how much more may we reckon it in his Power to disanul her rash and indiscreet promise made to Man of bestowing her self without her Parents allowance Can there be any thing more unjust more unkind more unthankful and more unnatural than for Children who have been brought up nourished and cherished by their Parents for whom all their care and pains have been bestowed to dispose of themselves in the most important affair of their lives without their knowledge or against their Will What a grief and trouble of heart must this needs be to their poor Parents As we see it was to Isaac and Rebekah Gen. 26.34 35. And Esau was forty years old when he took to Wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite and Bashemath the Daughter of Elon the Hittite which were a grief of mind to Isaac and to Rebekah As to such undutiful Children who do thus bestow themselves against their Parents will and consent it is very remarkable that they seldom live happily and comfortably they bring upon themselves very often a great deal of sorrow and trouble lasting misery and woe They live to eat the fruit of their foolish doings and wish when it is to little purpose that they had never done so mad and wicked a thing 5. Duty to submit to their Parents Reproofs and Chastenings Fifthly They are meekly and patiently to submit to their Reproofs to their Chastenings and Corrections It is a Power that God hath given Parents over their Children to correct and chasten them for their Faults This is necessary for Childrens good and therefore when Parents do correct them they ought not to be angry with them or grumble at their severity which they use for reforming of them much less are they to resist and rebel against them Heb. 12.9 We have had Fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence Yea tho' Parents sometimes exceed the bounds of prudence and discretion in chastising their Children tho' they indulge a little to their own Passion yet Children are bound patiently to bear and suffer their Corrections They are not to fly out into indecent and irreverent words and actions but with all the submission and respect that 's possible ought to endeavour to mitigate the wrath and passion of their angry Parents and afterwards they are to study all that ever they can to prevent their anger and displeasure by a most humble reverend and dutiful carriage How much may this serve to reprove those Against Rebellious Children who are so far from taking in good part their Parents correcting and chastening of them that they refuse to submit thereto They resist them and rebel against them Can there be any thing more unnatural and monstrous than to see those who owe their being to their Parents who have been brought up by them who have met with so many testimonies of a tender care and of great kindness to rise up against them to fly into the faces of those who are the Authors of their being to lift up their hand against them This is a sin of so crying a nature that he who was guilty thereof was to be put to death by the Law of Moses Exod. 21.15 He that smiteth his Father or his Mother shall be surely put to death How greatly does it aggravate this sin when Children have met with no severe nor unmerciful dealing from their Parents But have been treated by them with all that gentleness and kindness that was possible And yet for such Children to rise up against their Parents is a Crime of so black a nature that it is no wonder if the hand of God appear against them for it in a very signal manner as it did in the case of Absalom for whom his Father David had so great a fondness This unthankful and unnatural Son rose up against him and endeavoured by force and violence to pull him from the Throne and to usurp the Royal Dignity See how the hand of God appeared against him 2 Sam. 18.9 And Absalom met the Servants of David and Absalom rode upon a Mule and the Mule went under the thick Boughs of a great Oak and his Head caught hold of the Oak and he was taken up between the Heaven and the Earth and the Mule that was under him went away And ver 14. it is said that Joab took three darts in his hand and thrust them through the heart of Absalom while he was yet alive in the midst of the Oak And ver 15. Ten young Men that bare Joab's Armour compassed about and smote Absalom and slew him And ver 17. They took Absalom and cast him into a great Pit in the Wood and laid a very great heap of stones upon him This was done as a lasting Monument of Absalom's sin and shame and of God's righteous Judgment upon him 6. Duty to love their Parents and how they are to express their Love Sixthly Children ought to love their Parents and to express it by all those Offices which are in their Power to do for them by serving them readily by doing every thing that may make them well pleased by sympathizing with them in all their troubles by assisting them and doing all they can to make their Lives joyful and comfortable by shunning every thing that may grieve them or make them uneasie They ought to refuse no labour nor pains to do them service especially when they are sick and weak oppressed with the Burden of Old Age or poor and indigent under any sort of necessity whatsoever then ought Children to be very ready to help them to comfort and to encourage them to do all that they can to make their lives easie to them and to lighten their Burdens This is called 1 Tim. 1.4 A shewing Piety at home It is an act of Religion and Worship which God is well pleased with We see how Joseph nourished his Father and his Brethren and all his Fathers household with Bread Gen. 47.12 It was an old Roman Law Let Children relieve their Parents or be put in Prison How many Examples have there been amongst the Heathens of Eminent Piety towards Parents Such was that Act of her Valer. Max. l. 5. cap. 4. who when her Old Father was condemned to be put to death in Prison visited him often and gave him suck and so preserved him alive who otherwise must have dyed of Famine The like instance we meet with in the same Author Valer. Max. ibid. of a worthy Roman Daughter who did in the same manner preserve her Mother in Prison being condemned to dye When the Keeper of the Prison to whom the charge of putting her to death was committed found after some time that her Daughter kept her alive by giving her suck he was so affected with the greatness of the Daughters Compassion
and tenderness to her Mother that he made it known to those in Power who were likewise so mightily touched with such an unusual instance of tender Affection that they pardoned the Mother as the greatest Reward they could bestow on the Daughter for her marvellous Affection What can there be more just and reasonable than for Children thus to endeavour to requite their Parents for their great care and kindness towards them when they were not able to help themselves The time was when their Parents were as Eyes and Hands and Feet to them they did every thing for them their Children not being capable to do any thing for themselves How ready therefore should they be to serve their Parents to assist them by all good Offices when their condition requires it This is a Duty to which Children are so strictly obliged to wit the assisting and relieving of their Parents that no pretence is sufficient to absolve them from the Obligation thereof The Pharisees thought they had found out an Exception from this Rule which was this that if Children gave away their Wealth to pious and Charitable uses they were freed from the Obligation of relieving their Parents They taught them in this case to tell their Parents It is Corban that is to say a Gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me Mar. 7.11 And by saying this they made people believe that they were sufficiently freed from all Obligations to take care of and provide for their Parents But our Saviour reproves them severely telling them that this was no other than the making void the Commandments of God by their Traditions We may see from this Against unkind and unnatural Children what Judgment to make of such unkind undutiful and unnatural Children who do wholly neglect their Parents especially in their old age and in their poor and low Estate who shew them no more pity and express no more love nor tenderness towards them than if they were not their Parents who grudge them the least supply and take all the wicked courses that they can to starve them to death that they may be rid of them who wish and long for and rejoyce in the death of their poor Parents O what a horrid Barbarity and Inhumanity is this Shall not many Pagans rise up in Judgment against such Children and Condemn them How little do they deserve the Name of Christian Children Their true Name is Unchristian and unnatural Children As Solomon bid the Sluggard go to the Ant so may we bid such hard-hearted and unmerciful Children go to the Stork of whom it is told that when the old Dams cannot feed themselves their little ones feed and nourish them when their Feathers fall from them they cover them with their Feathers and when they are not able to fly they couple themselves together to carry them upon their Backs Let uncompassionate Children go to this compassionate Creature and consider her ways and be wise Let them learn from her to be more kind and affectionate and tender-hearted towards their Parents and not any longer to harden their Bowels against them 7. Duty to pray for their Parents Seventhly Because all that Children can do is not sufficient to requite the love and tender care of their Parents therefore they ought to pray to God that he would reward them and preserve them and keep them alive that he would supply all their wants and comfort them in all their troubles and requite their Love their tender care and their great cost and pains they have been at to bring them up and to educate them How happy are the Parents of such Children who are supplicants and intercessors at the Throne of Grace for good things unto them Such Children are the strength of their Parents they are a great blessing unto them If it be the Duty of Children thus to pray to God Against Cursers of Parents in behalf of their Parents what shall we say of those who neither pray for them nor themselves but live like the Beasts that perish and mind nothing that 's good And if their Crime is great who do not at all pray for their Parents how dreadful is their Guilt who Curse them What dreadful Judgments may such Monsters of wickedness expect Prov. 20.20 Who so Curseth his Father or his Mother his Lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness that is he shall be reduced unto a sad afflicted and miserable State his prosperous condition which is compared to Light or to a Lamp shall be turned into Adversity and Misery and that very great which is expressed by obscure darkness he shall be made very miserable his state and condition in the World shall become most uncomfortable as it is for a Man who walketh in a way that is full of Light where he beholds a great many Objects which afford him pleasure and delight suddenly to be deprived of all this and to find himself all alone in obscure darkness without all help and comfort By the Law of Moses such ungodly and unnatural Children were without any pardon to be put to death Exod. 21.17 He that Curseth his Father or his Mother shall surely be put to death From what hath been said Children may see what their Duty is which they owe to their Parents which that they may perform there are several things which serve as powerful Motives and Arguments to excite them Motives to excite Children to do these things First 1. Motive from the divine Commandment It will tend mightily to move them to Honour their Father and Mother if they consider who requires this at their hands This Law proceedeth not from Men but from God It is a Law made by him who is their Maker and therefore by right of Creation may require their Obedience It is a Law made by their faithful preserver and rich provider and therefore by vertue of his daily care over them and kindness to them may command them what he thinks good This is the will of their Father in Heaven of their Lord and King of him who will call them to an account and render to them according to their Works of him who is their greatest and best Friend if they do his Will and keep his Commandments but will be their most dreadful and terrible Enemy if they do not obey his Voice If therefore children have any sense of God on their Souls if they consider his infinite greatness power wisdom justice truth faithfulness mercy and kindness they cannot but endeavour to perform what he requires when once they know what is his holy will and pleasure Now as to what I speak of to wit the Duty of Children to Parents it is plain and clear not only from those Laws which are contained in Holy Scripture which were revealed from Heaven to Holy Men whom God made use of to be the publishers thereof to the World but likewise from the Laws of Nature those clear impressions which God hath made on the minds
THE TRUE Interest of Families OR DIRECTIONS HOW PARENTS May be happy in their Children AND CHILDREN In their PARENTS To which is annexed a Discourse about the Right Way of Improving our Time By a Divine of the Church of England With a Preface by A. HORNECK D. D. London Printed for J. Taylor at the Ship in St. Paul's Church-yard and J. Everingham at the Star in Ludgate-street 1692. THE PREFACE THE Author of the ensuing Treatise having thought fit to recommend his Papers to â—…ty perusal I was willing to usher â—hem into the World with some remarks upon his pious design and the usefulness of Tracts of this nature The plainness of the stile must be no discouragement to the Reader nor must Truth be therefore laid by because it comes not drest in a Vesture of Gold or wants the Curiosities of Embroidery Truth needs no borrow'd Beams its natural Light is enough to strike the Senses If it be Truth it is no matter whether it 's presented in an Earthen Vessel or in a Silver Dish The serving of it up according to the Mode may indeed please sickly Fancies but is no great Charm or Motive to inquisitive or rational Men who love Beauty without painting and are more taken with the natural mixture of white and red than with all the artificial Washes which are used to make the Features amiable Plat. l. 2. de Republ. Aristot l. 6. Politic. c. 1. The Welfare of a Common-Wealth doth in a great measure depend upon the Duties of the Relatives here treated of and did Parents and Children conscientiously discharge all the Obligations incumbent upon them by the Law of God and Nature the World could not be so wicked as it is Education makes the first impressions upon the Souls of Men and were care taken that the ground be impregnated with good Seed such a Harvest might be expected from it that Posterity might be the better for it I am sensible that Conversation and the Humour of the Age is apt to make strange alterations in the Principles we imbibe yet something will stick and when the thoughts are cool and Men come to reflect the Principles they have learned when the wax was soft will recoil and oblige them to return to their Duty Of this we have experience and though there is no rule so general but admits of exceptions yet it 's enough that this effect doth frequently appear which is no inconsiderable Motive to the serious consideration of a thing of this importance It was a wise answer which one of the LXXII Interpreters gave to Ptolemaeus Philadelphus who asked him what was the greatest negligence The neglect saith he of the good Education of Children It is so and the hurt that 's done by it both to them and to the Publick is unspeakable Whence is it that there are so many Prodigals that so many come to an untimely end that so many run into excesses which destroy both Soul and Body From want of pious Education It was a severe Censure which Carneades the Philosopher passed upon the Children of Rich Men that they learned nothing but to ride well Indeed it is to be wondered that Rational Creatures should be so careful to breed up their Progeny to sensuality and neglect the cultivation of that which makes them differ from Bruits and shews they are Creatures of a nobler extract Can any thing be more reasonable than virtue and the fear of God Is not this it which both Scripture and Philosophy teaches Do not we our selves confess so much and do not most Men acknowledge it when they come to dye And yet that we should make this the least part of our care in the Education of Youth is wondrous strange Some seem to fancy that sending their Children to School or to teach them their Catechism is all the Care that is incumbent upon them Though I cannot say but that this is a Duty yet it is so imperfect that I can scarce honour it with the Title of doing it by halves it being but the beginning or the least part of it Instruction Precept and Example are the mighty Engines and Instruments in the promoting and accomplishing this Work and perhaps nothing hath a greater influence than Example for all the Moral Precepts of the Parents are like Water spilt upon the Ground where Example doth not concomitate the instruction How shall the Child learn Sobriety where the Father is often drunk Or how is it possible the young man should be meek and patient where the Father is Cholerick and hath no command of his passion I do not restrain the Grace of God and am sensible that the very impiety of the Parents hath sometimes contrary Effects upon certain Children and they learn to be good by the Wickedness of their Superiors but this is an extraordinary Providence which God exerts sometimes to manifest his Omnipotence and to let men see that he can bring light out of darkness but the ordinary way of Edifying those under our Charge is to teach them by Example And though even this proves ineffectual sometimes yet it 's enough that it is our Duty and that we have discharged it and have taken that way which was most rational and of God's prescription Hierom Ep. 7. ad Laetam I am so pleased with St. Ierom's Advice to Laeta concerning the Education of her Daughter that I cannot forbear to transcribe part of it I will let you see saith he what Education you are to give to a Daughter whose Soul ought to be the Temple of God Let her hear nothing learn nothing speak nothing but what may inspire the fear of God into her Let her not listen to prophane Discourses nor be enamoured with Love Songs or amorous Ditties Let her use her self at certain hours to sing Psalms let none be about her but sober Servants and keep her from running into Company light and vain where she will learn more ill than good Use her to reading and to work and labour and promise her Rewards and incite her to Emulation excite her to Virtue by praises and Commendations and make her ambitious to excel others in Virtue and good Works Let her learn Scripture Sentences by heart and chuse her a Master that may not only teach her to read but instruct her in good manners Give her a Nurse neither debaucht nor tatling nor given to strong Liquors and let her Habit be modest and such as becomes her Christian Profession Let her not bore Holes in her Ears for Pendants neither let her use any Paint or Wash to beautifie her self Let her not be nice in ordering the Hair of her Head neither suffer her to adorn her self with Gold or Pearls or precious Stones except you design her for Hell fire When she comes to riper age let her go with her Parents to the Temple but let her not return to the Gayeties of the World Advise her to keep her self in her Chamber and let her not go to Feasts
said 142 The Contents OF The Discourse about the Right Way of Improving our Time THE Introduction 155 The Text explained 156 How Time is to be redeemed 1. Time is to be redeemed from sleep 158 2. It is to be redeemed from dressing and adorning the Body 162 3. It is to be redeemed from eating and drinking 165 4. It is to be redeemed from gaming 168 5. It is to be redeemed from visuing 172 6. Time is to be redeemed from worldly business 179 7. It is to be redeemed from idleness 183 8. It is to be redeemed in sacred and religious Performances by doing them in the best manner 186 Some Motives to Excite you to do these things 1. Motive from the shortness of your Time 197 2 Motive from the uncertainty of your Time 201 3. Motive from the greatness and difficulty of the work you have to do 209 4. Motive from the account you must give how you spend your Time 216 The Conclusion 223 ADVICE TO PARENTS PART I. IT has been always reckoned by the best and wisest men a thing absolutely necessary towards a Reformation in the World to begin with the Instruction and right Education of Children those of elder Years being ordinarily so rooted and hardned in their sinful habits that for the most part there 's very little can be done to reform them and make them better So sensible were some ancient States of this that they made particular Laws for educating Children thinking it too great a Trust to leave it altogether in the Power of Parents to train up their Children according to their Humour and Fancy Amongst Christians there are few restraints upon Parents in most Countries it being in their power to Educate their Children as they think good It is therefore of no small importance for them to know what their Duty is that they may approve themselves to God in doing whatever he requires towards their Children for their Souls their Bodies and their outward Estate The design of this Treatise is to furnish those who want such helps with some plain and easie directions that they may know how to act the part of Christian Parents While Children are yet in the Womb How Parents ought to be affected while Children are yet in the Womb. it is the Duty of Parents to endeavour to bring their mind to an indifferency as to the Sex which shall be born not to prescribe to God by their impatient desires and their bold asking of him a Child of this or that Sex but to leave it entirely to his Will and Pleasure to do what he thinks best The happiness of Parents does not consist in having Children of this or that Sex Sometimes Sons who are most desired ordinarily may prove useless in the World yea very hurtful in many regards they may occasion great grief of Heart and lasting Anguish and Vexation to their Parents by their mad and foolish Courses and wicked doings And on the other hand Daughters may prove great Blessings in the World great Comforts to their Parents and great Examples of Piety and of Zeal for the honour of God On which Accounts Parents ought to resign their will to God and be ready with all gratitude to accept whatever he bestows Secondly When a Child is born How they ought to be affected when their Children are born Parents ought with all thankfulness to return praise and thanks to God who hath bestowed such a Blessing on them giving them a living Child sound and perfect in all its parts and proportions without either defect of necessary parts or excess and deformity thereof This should make them admire and adore the Powerful and Wise Providence of God which appears in framing and fashioning their Infant so curiously and wonderfully in the Womb preserving it and making it grow up from a very small and imperfect beginning to such a bigness with all those comely shapes and proportions which they behold They ought to look upon their Children as given them of God to be taken care of both as to their Souls and Bodies to be bred up in his fear for his Honour and Glory to be made fit to serve him here and to live with him for ever hereafter The Soul being the chiefest part of the charge committed to Parents I shall first shew what they ought to do for their Childrens Souls The first Duty of Parents for the Souls of their Children is to consecrate them to God in Baptism First They ought to consecrate their Children to God in Baptism so soon as conveniently they can They cannot better express their gratitude to God for blessing them with Children than by presenting them to him again in this holy Ordinance that he may set his Seal upon them and admit them into his House and Family that he may bestow upon them the priviledges of his Children and give them a Right and Title to the Blessedness the Grace and Glory purchased by Jesus Christ It is for this End that Baptism is instituted not only to be a Ceremony of Admission into the Church but to seal unto us the pardon of our Sins to assure us of the Divine Favour to make us Members of Christ Heirs of God and Inheritours of the Kingdom of Heaven if we by wilful impeuitency and unbelief do not afterwards hinder and frustrate the Virtue thereof It is not necessary for Parents to enquire how such things are done by Baptism it is enough for them to know That Baptism is appointed for those Ends and we are sure that God appoints nothing in vain Our Saviour is said Eph. 5.26 To sanctify and cleanse his Church with the washing of water by the Word And Tit. 3.5 he is said to save us by the washing of Regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost And in the 22d of the Acts and 16. it is said by Ananias unto Paul Arise and be baptized and wash away thy Sins And says St. Peter 1 Epist 3.21 The like Figure whereunto even Baptism doth now also save us not the putting away of the filth of the Flesh but the answer of a good Conscience towards God by the Resurrection of Jesus Christ And St. Paul tells us Gal. 3.27 As many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ Which words import not only our owning and acknowledging him as the Saviour of the World who alone is able to wash and cleanse us with his Blood but also our professing our resolution to live holy lives to walk in newness of life according to his Example in token of which in the ancient Church they who were baptized were presently cloathed with White Rayment to testify their resolution to live in holiness and to put off the Old Man that is all their former wicked Deeds and Customs and filthy Practices Likewise Rom. 6.3 and 4. it is thus written Know ye not that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his Death Therefore we are buried
but even in this Life You cannot but find unspeakable Joy and Comfort when you behold your Children walking in the fear of God going from strength to strength and from Grace to Grace that at last they may come and appear before the Lord in Sion It will free you from a great many anxious thoughts about them for the time to come when you know that they have God for their Friend who will be a Guide and Buckler to them What a great satisfaction will it afford you to think that they for whom you make so great provision and are at so much pains are good and wise and in all probability will make good use of what is given them or designed for them When you see them humble of a mild and gentle temper apt to bear uneasie things meekly and patiently when you see them sober and temperate charitable and compassionate just and upright true and faithful wise and prudent devout and religious zealous for the Honour of God and studying daily to grow up in all Virtue and Piety How will this fill you with a Pleasure that cannot be expressed So true is it that is said by the Wise Man Prov. 15. and 20. A wise Son maketh a glad Father Fourthly If you neglect to do these things for the Souls of your Children 4. Motive from the sad Effects which attend the neglect of these Duties and leave them to themselves to do as they list then you may expect that their Sins and Follies their Pride and Passion their Gluttony and Drunkenness their Cursing and Swearing their Lying and Deceiving their Malice and Revenge their Chambering and Wantonness their Atheism and Irreligion will not only prove Tragical to them but occasion great uneasiness vexation and grief of mind to you Prov. 10.1 A Foolish Son is a heaviness to his Mother and Ch. 17.21 He that begetteth a Fool doth it to his sorrow and the Father of a Fool hath no joy 'T is true 't is not in the Power of Parents to infuse good Qualities into the Minds of their Children some are so very perverse that all that can be said or done by Parents is altogether slighted and neglected by them However such Parents who have the affliction of sad and wretched Children have some comfort and satisfaction in having done their Duty for them and in endeavouring to approve themselves unto God who will accept of their honest and sincere endeavours and will crown them with glorious Rewards But it is otherwise when Children prove bad through the too great indulgence or the negligence and bad Example of Parents What a deep wound must it needs give them when they begin to consider that they did not their part to make their Children good and were so far from it that they corrupted and ruined them by their bad Example and over great kindness and indulgence Such Parents do often eat the Fruits of their cruel fondness and feel the sad Effects of their own bad Example by means of their Prophane and Graceless Children As God doth often visit the iniquity of the Parents upon the Children so when Children are suffered to go on in their foolish and wicked courses through the indiscreet gentleness and kindness of Parents who perhaps are in other respects good people the Lord doth sometimes punish such Parents and bring Temporal Judgments upon them Ely was a great instance of this 1 Sam. 2. and 22. He heard all that his Sons did unto all Israel which were things of a very vile nature whereby as it 's said Chap. 3. and 13. they made themselves Vile that is hateful to God and base and contemptible to all the People by their lewd and abominable practices Ely did reprove them but it was too coldly and gently Chap. 2.23 24. And he said unto them why do you such things for I hear of your evil dealings by all this People Nay my Sons for it is no good report that I hear you make the Lord's People to transgress Besides his reproof he ought to have restrained them Ch. 3. and 13. as being High-Priest a Judge and Chief Governour amongst the People He ought to have put them out of the Priesthood as accursed persons and executed the Laws of God against them Which because he did not therefore God denounced very dreadful judgments against him by a Prophet whom he sent unto him Chap. 2.31 32 33 34 36. and Chap. 3.13 14. And in Chap. 4. we find his two Sons Hophni and Phineas were slain in Battel by the Philistines and the Ark of God was taken upon the news whereof the Old Man fell from off his Seat backwards and his neck brake and he dyed We see likewise in David what was the Effect of his too great indulgence to some of his Children especially Absalom and Adonijah who not only wrought their own destruction but proved great Crosses to their aged Father Advice to Parents PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies HAving treated of the Duty of Parents towards their Children as to their Souls the better part I shall next shew what their Duties are as to the Bodies of their Children First It belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 1. Duty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children unless some bodily imperfection great weakness or sickness or her circumstances in the World make it impossible or very dangerous and inconvenient both for her and the Children or for either For this end it is that God hath given Breasts unto Women and caused the Milk to flow into them that there may be nourishment suitable to the tender Infants in a readiness for them Neither can we suppose any other body capable of shewing equal Care and Love to the Children with that which it is natural for the Mother to express to the Fruit of her own Womb. Besides this it cannot well be imagined that the Milk of any other Body can be so fit for the Child as its own Mothers if she be but in tolerable Health Even amongst the Heathens they were accounted but half Mothers who neglected to give Suck to their Children An ancient Author amongst the Heathens speaking on this Subject saith * Aulus Gellius lib. 12. cap. 1. Quod est enim hoc contra naturam imperfectam atque dimidiatum matris genus How unnatural a thing is this how imperfect and only to be a Mother by halves having brought forth a Child presently to throw it away having nourished in her Womb somewhat that she could not see not now to nourish it with her Milk when she sees it alive and calling for her assistance We see likewise that Nature hath impressed on the most Savage and Wild Creatures a readiness to draw out their Breasts to their young Peperisse ac statim ab sese abjecisse aluisse in utero sanguine suo nescio quid quod non videret non alere nunc suo lacte quod videat
failed in your Duty to them as to their Bodies and Outward Concerns And the more you find you have done amiss resolve so much the more to be zealous to do them good to double your diligence in promoting the wellfare and happiness both of their Souls and Bodies Tell them so far as is meet what you now see and feel let them know that you have been out of the way that you have milled them and brought both your selves and them in danger of being undone and ruined eternally Tell them what you resolve to do and what you and they ought to do and must do or else that you will certainly perish Delay not to do this one moment fly like a Bird out of the Snare of the Fowler Your Souls lye at the stake and therefore do what Men use to do to save their Lives Skin for Skin and all that a Man hath will he give for his Life Men are ready to part with any thing to save their lives They 'l part with House and Lands with Silver and Gold with their whole Estate and Substance to save their Bodies alive which must dye at last and for ought they know may dye within a very few days or hours How much more ought you that you may save your own Souls and the Souls of your Children to part with your vile and unruly Lusts and Passions your vain foolish Habits and Customs which are your reproach and dishonour which are the worst things in the World which can do you no good if you hold them still but will certainly do you a great deal of mischief They will prove the cause of your destruction they will deprive you of all that is good and excellent they will cut you off from the favour of God the Love of Christ and the fellowship of the Blessed Spirit they will likewise deprive you of the assistance and Ministry of the Holy Angels and the Comfortable Society of the Saints departed they will exclude you for ever from the Kingdom of Heaven the Crown of righteousness the peace and joy the love and glory of the future State All this your sins will deprive you of and instead thereof they will expose you to the Wrath of God to the devouring fire to everlasting Burnings to blackness of darkness to weeping and gnashing of Teeth to the wretched and cursed company of Devils and damned Souls to the Worm which never dieth which will gnaw you and torment you for ever And will you chuse all this rather than part with your Lusts that you may be for ever happy and have fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore Will you be so mad as to prefer Hell and Death everlasting Misery and Woe to Heaven and everlasting life to Blessedness and Glory Now is the time for you to become either happy or miserable if you repent and amend and act the part of Wise and Religious Parents you may be happy for God will have mercy upon you Isa 55.7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous Man his Thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon Follow therefore the Example of the Psalmist Psal 119.59 60. I thought on my ways and turned my feet unto thy Testimonies I made haste and delayed not to keep thy Commandments But if instead of this you continue in your sin and folly setting at naught Gods Counsels and despising his Reproofs putting the Evil Day far from you promising your selves peace and safety tho' you walk after your own Hearts Lusts making a mock at sin and laughing at all that is sacred and serious and by your wicked Example destroying the Souls and Bodies of your poor Children then assure your selves God will not be mocked he will at last whet his Sword and bend his Bow and make ready his Arrows against his Adversaries he will render to you according to your Works he will in no wise clear the Guilty Consider the terrible threatning which is mentioned Deut. 29.19 20. against the man who when he heareth the words of the Curse does bless himself in his Heart saying I shall have peace tho' I walk in the imagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst The Lord will not spare him but the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoke against that man and all the Curses that are written in this Book shall lye upon him and the Lord shall blot out his Name from under Heaven Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by death After all that hath been said it will not be unfit to add somewhat concernning the Duty of Parents when God sees fit to remove their Children from them by Death This falls out so very often to Parents that it cannot but be seasonable to a great many to suggest to them some plain and easie considerations which they may sometimes reflect upon and imprint on their minds that so they may not be surprised with the death of their Children nor swallowed up of excessive and immoderate grief Parents ought to consider 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it when their Children dye first that is the Lord who does it He who is Lord of Life who gave Life to themselves and to their Children is also Lord of death and removes out of the World whom and when he sees sit He is the great Potter and Man is the Clay which he hath formed and fashioned into a curious and beautiful shape and animated with an immortal Soul When he sees fit to break this brittle Vessel in pieces and to separate the Soul from it who dare say unto him What doest thou May not he do with his own what he thinks good Or must he give an account of his Actions unto the work of his own hands He is infinitely great and powerful and therefore will do according to his own good pleasure He is infinitely wise and knows what 's best and fittest to be done He is infinitely good and kind and therefore will order all things for good And he is infinitely just and righteous and therefore can do no wrong It 's fit therefore that Parents when God removes their Children from them by Death submit chearfully to the will of him who is infinitely powerful wise good and just and that they adore him and say with Ely 1 Sam. 3.18 It is the Lord let him do what seemeth him good 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal Secondly They should consider that their Children were born Mortal frail by Nature subject to a necessity of dying by their very composition and frame and also by the Decree of Heaven Heb. 9.27 It is appointed for all Men once to dye And therefore when God sees fit to remove them by Death to make the House of Clay fall down about their Ears Parents ought not to be surprised This is nothing
much as I ought to have done to know thee and to do thy Will but have done my own will in many things and followed my own foolish and sinful inclinations I have broken many of thy most Holy and Just Laws in thought word and deed * Here they may make a particular Confession of their Sins whereby I have deserved thy Wrath and Curse Father of Mercies have mercy upon me forgive me all my sins for Jesus Christ his sake who dyed for sinners Give me a true and hearty Repentance for all mine Iniquities that I may not wilfully break thy Laws any more Lord never leave me nor forsake me Hold up my goings in thy Paths that my footsteps may not slide Grant that henceforth I may love thee with all my heart and may be afraid to sin against thee Work in me a true Faith and a lively hope make me humble meek and patient sober and temperate in all things Charitable and compassionate towards all that are in distress true and faithful in my words and sincere and upright in my Actions well content and thankful in every condition of Life and zealous for thy Glory Grant that I may daily grow in Grace and spiritual Knowledge Create in me a clean Heart and renew a right Spirit wethin me and cause me to walk in thy ways O Lord send thy Gospel through the World pour our plentifully the Blessings of thy holy Spirit on all thy People Bless and preserve our King and Queen Guide our Judges and Magistrates Sanctifie and assist the Ministers of the Gospel Be with all my Friends and Relations particularly bless and preserve my Father and Mother Reward them for their care and kindness towards me Make me a loving and dutiful Child unto them * If there be any Brothers or Sisters he may pray for them and for Grandfather and Grandmother if they be alive Comfort all that are in trouble and sanctifie their afflictions to them I thank thee O Lord for thy care of me this Night Watch over over me this day Bless and direct me in all I do or say Keep me mindful that I am always in thy sight that I may be in thy fear all the day long Cause me to remember that I must shortly dye and come to judgment that I may not mispend my precious time but employ it in a constant and chearful Obedience to thy holy and righteous Laws that when this vain and short life is at an end I may be made partaker of everlasting Life through Jesus Christ our Lord in whose Holy Name and words I pray Our Father c. This Prayer may serve likewise at Night until you come to the last part which begins with these words I thank thee O Lord for thy care of me this Night c. instead thereof you may say as follows I thank thee O Lord for thy care of me this day watch over me this Night and grant me quiet repose save me from every Evil thing for the sake of thy dear Son Jesus Christ in whose Holy Name and words I conclude my imperfect Prayers saying Our Father c. ADVICE TO CHILDREN BY A Divine of the Church of England LONDON Printed for S. Lowndes near the Savoy-Gate in the Strand ADVICE TO CHILDREN THERE is scarce any thing wherein all Nations and Men of all Religions do more agree than in the Common Duties of Children to their Parents Neither is there any thing that tends more to the comfort and happiness the beauty and strength of Society than for Children to perform all those Duties which they owe to their Parents And yet hew sad is it to think that a great many Children who have not only all the advantages which natural Religion affords but likewise the assistance of Divine Revelation do nevertheless carry themselves in that manner towards their Parents as if they either understood nothing of their Duty or were most prodigiously perverse and resolved to rebel against the Light to trample upon all the Principles both of Natural and Revealed Religion The Design of this short Treatise is to shew what the Duties of Children are towards their Parents and to suggest some Considerations to excite them to do their Duty 1. Duty of Children to honour their Parents and how they are to honour them First Children are bound to honour their Parents which imports First That they should entertain respectful and reverend thoughts of them as being under God the Authors of their Life and Being they must not think slightingly and under valuingly of their Parents whatever be their weaknesses and imperfections They ought to hate and abhor their Vices every thing in them that is evil dishonourable to God and contrary to his Laws and Commandments but still they ought to love and honour their persons And if at any time disrespectful and irreverend thoughts arise in their minds they ought to check them to accuse and be angry with themselves for them and to call to mind what God hath commanded them to do when he saith Honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee Secondly This imports that they ought to express their inward Reverence and Esteem by all the outward marks and demonstrations thereof in their words and deeds their looks and gestures these things are the Picture of the Mind they ordinarily represent the temper and disposition thereof so that if there be any thing of real esteem and regard towards any body in the heart it will discover it self by some of those outward expressions We see how Solomon carried himself towards his Mother 1 Kings 2.19 Bathsheba went unto King Solomon to speak unto him for Adonijah And the King rose up to meet her and bowed himself unto her and sate down on his Throne and caused a seat to be set for the King's Mother and she sate on his right hand Children are more apt to carry themselves irreverently and slightingly towards their Mother which is the reason as some think that she is set down first Lev. 19.3 Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father Thirdly This imports that they ought to cover the infirmities and weaknesses the imperfections and indiscretions of their Parents to do as Shem and Japhet did Gen. 9.23 when Noah their Father was drunken and was uncovered within his Tent. They took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and went backwards and covered the nakedness of their father and their faces were backward and they saw not their fathers nakedness Children are not to publish the faults and follies of their Parents but ought to conceal them all that they can However there are two things very consistent with this Duty First Children may and ought to do all that they can by their private modest and humble Advice to reclaim their Parents from their sinful practices Secondly If they find it not so fit for them immediately to advise
their Parents or if what they say hath not the designed effect then they may recommend this charitable office to the care of some other body who is a wise and kind a pious and serious Friend who may have some more influence than themselves towards the reclaiming their Parents This is the greatest expression of true kindness honour and respect to them when their Children sincerely endeavour in the discreetest manner to be the happy instruments of their Conversion and Reformation of turning them from Satan unto God This is to be in some sort the Fathers in Christ to those who are their Parents by Nature O how happy are the Parents of such worthy Children How may they rejoyce and bless God who hath bestowed on them so great a Blessing If Children are thus obliged to honour their Parents Against those who dishonour their Parents what shall be said of those who dishonour despise and slight them all that ever they can who undervalue them in their thoughts who speak of them with great contempt and disdain who speak to them with great insolence who mock and scorn them who laugh at them and make mouths at them and point at them with the finger who reproach and revile them who break indecent jests upon them who make them the objects of their sport and pastime who take pleasure in publishing their weaknesses and indiscretions that others also may laugh at them and despise them How dreadful and terrible are the Curses and Judgments which God hath in store against such wretched Children Prov. 30.17 The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother the Ravens of the vallies shall pick it out and the young Eagles shall eat it That is he who is a mocker and scorner of his Parents who despises and slights them shall die a shameful death and remain unburied and shall be exposed to the birds and beasts of prey to be eaten of them It does not follow from hence that all perverse wretched Children come to such a shameful and untimely end Only it shews what oft-times happeneth and is very usual to wit that such mockers and despisers of Parents are punished remarkably by the Justice of God in this World and are made Examples to all others who will open their eyes to consider the hand of God against such ungodly Children As for Instances of the Divine Justice against Mockers of Parents all Ages and Countries are full of them C ham was made an Example of this Gen. 9.22 24 25. And C ham the father of Canaan saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brethren without And Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his younger son had done unto him And he said Cursed be Canaan a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren In which words tho' Canaan the Son of Cham is only mentioned yet Cham is not exempted from the Curse his punishment is hereby made so much the greater because he is not only pronounced accursed in his own person which is necessarily to be supposed he having committed the sin which caused the Curse but also in his Posterity which could not but increase mightily his grief and make his punishment lye more heavy upon him 2. Duty to obey their Parents Secondly Children are to obey their Parents to do what they bid them See this in the Example of Joseph when Jacob sent him to his Brethren Gen. 37.13 14. And Israel said unto Joseph Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem Come and I will send thee unto them And he said to him Here am I. And he said to him Go I pray thee see whether it be well with thy brethren and well with the flocks and bring me word again so he sent him out of the vale of Hebron and he came to Shechem The Commands of Parents are either about the same things which God hath commanded or they are about things indifferent or about things unlawful If they are about the same things which God hath commanded they are so much the more to be obeyed as being the will and pleasure both of their Father in Heaven and of their earthly Parents In this case the obligation to obedience is double Secondly If their Parents Commands are about things indifferent that is which are neither commanded nor forbidden by God Children are likewise to obey them God hath made it their Duty so to do Col. 3.20 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. This obedience is very acceptable to him he takes great pleasure and delight in it to see those obeyed and submitted to whom he hath appointed to be as it were in his own stead whom he hath cloathed with some beams of Divine Power whom with relation to their Children he hath made in some sense sacred persons whose Will ought to be a Law unto them tho' only in the Lord. For Thirdly if the thing commanded be plainly unlawful they are to refuse complacence therewith because they are bound to obey God rather than man rather than Father or Mother rather than all the World Their obligations to God are much greater than to their Parents he is the Maker both of them and of their Parents they live by his Bounty the Earth they tread on is his the Air they breathe in the Heavens that cover them the food they eat the water they drink the garments that cloath them and all other things which they enjoy for their benefit and comfort in the World are the Lord's He is their great Master who appoints them their business in the World and assures them of a reward he also will reckon with them and either reward or punish them according to their works and therefore his Commands are to be preferred to those of all others But even in this case Children are to express in their very denial and refusal of obedience all that Honour and Respect to their Parents that 's possible that they may see it is not stubbornness but the fear of God which makes them disobey By this means Parents may perhaps be convinced and made sensible of their sin and prevailed with to shun those evil things which they see their very Children do so much hate and abhor and wherein they refuse to obey Against stubborn and disobedient Children If Children are thus bound by the Laws of Heaven to obey their Parents what shall be said of those who make no account of their Parents Commands but set at naught all their Admonitions and Counsels who will not follow their Directions and be governed by them for their own good but do follow their own humor fancy and the examples and customs of others like themselves What a sad mark is this of approaching ruine and of heavy Judgments which hang over the heads of such ungodly Children as you may see in the Sons of Ely 1 Sam. 2.25 of whom it is said that they hearkened not unto
the voice of their Father because the Lord would slay them By the Law of Moses the stubborn Son was to be put to death Deut. 21.18 19 20 21. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son which will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother and that when they have chastened him will not hearken unto them Then shall his father and mother lay hold on him and bring him out unto the Elders of his City and unto the gate of his place And they shall say unto the Elders of his City This our son is stubborn and rebellious he will not obey our voice He is a glutton and a drunkard And all the men of his City shall stone him with stones that he die so shalt thou put evil away from among you and all Israel shall hear and fear In ancient times in most Countries Parents had an absolute power over their Children to punish them as they thought good for their disobedience and other faults And when amongst the Romans they lessened this power yet they did it at first only in part The Father was enjoyned to present his disobedient Child to the Judge that he might be punished and the Judge was to pronounce such a Sentence as the Father thought fit This came somewhat near the Law of Moses By this it appears what the sense of Mankind was concerning the exceeding greatness of the crime of stubbornness and disobedience in Children to Parents 3. Duty of Children to be determined by their Parents as to their Calling Thirdly They are to be determined by them as to their Calling and Employment if it be an honest and lawful one Their Parents are to be supposed ordinarily more wise and prudent to chuse for them than they are to chuse a Trade for themselves They have more experience and know the World better than their Children do and no doubt they have kindness enough for them to wish them well and to design their advantage and not to press them to any Trade or way of Life which they believe is inconvenient and like to be hurtful to them But if Parents should be mistaken as to the fitness of the Employment to which they design their Children and supposing the Children to be sensible of the great inconveniencies thereof which the Parents through prejudices and partialities do not see in this case Children may with all due modesty meekness and humility represent to their Parents what their thoughts are and tell them what objections they have against such a Calling that their Parents may be prevailed upon by their Reasons to alter their resolutions or if they be not so fit themselves to discourse their Parents upon such a subject they may do it by some wise and discreet Friends And if after all Parents be wilful in their intention and design Children are not upon the account of uncertain or probable inconveniencies to oppose themselves to the Will of their Parents they ought to submit themselves to their Judgment if the Trade or manner of Life to which they design them be not dishonest and unlawful for then there is no farther question to be made the case is clear The Will of God is always to be preferred to the Will of Man He that loveth father or mother more than me saith Christ is not worthy of me Matth. 10.37 But if there be nothing of dishonesty or unlawfulness in such an Employment they are to enter upon it with all the chearfulness that 's possible leaving all events unto God It will afford great peace and comfort to their minds whatever afterwards falls out when they consider that they did what was their Duty to do they submitted their own opinion to the Judgment of their Parents whom God hath commanded them to obey Whatever may be their temporal loss they are sure of spiritual gain God will plentifully reward their humble obedience and ready compliance with the Will of their earthly Parents Against Children who neglect this Duty From what hath been said on this Head we may see how much they are to be blamed who are so far from being determined by their Parents in the way and manner of their living in the World that they either wholly give up themselves to idleness and waste their time in vain and foolish Company or they chuse some way of living that is either dishonest or very inconvenient for them in many regards or if they comply with their Parents so far as to enter upon some honest way of living yet they do not keep at it but leave it and become Prodigals they spend their substance in riotous living they waste and consume what their Parents bestow upon them in drinking gaming and whoring and such like extravagancies whereby they prove Robbers of their Parents of whom see what the Wise Man saith Prov. 28.24 Who so robbeth his Father and his Mother and saith It is no Transgression the same is a Companion of a Destroyer That is he is to be look'd on as one of those who rob and murder on the High-way as a man desperately wicked who is disposed to act any sort of Villany and Impiety who will stick at nothing in pursuit of his mad and wretched designs that may gratifie his Lusts and Passions 4. Duty not to suffer themselves to be bestowed in Marriage against their Parents will Fourthly As to their Marriage they are not to suffer themselves to be bestowed without their Parents consent Thus Samson Judg. 14.1 2. And Samson went down to Timnath and saw a Woman in Timnath and he came up and told his Father and his Mother and said I have seen a Woman in Timnath of the Daughters of the Philistins now therefore get her for me to Wife How great reason is there for this that they who are under God the causes of their life and being in the World whose goods and possession Children are should he acknowledged and advised with by them and depended on in the settling of themselves in the World in such a state of Life which will prove either the foundation of great happiness or of great misery To give themselves away without their Parents Consent is a kind of theft it is to invade the right of others to rob them of that which God hath given them We see how great the Power of Parents was by the Law of Moses Numb 30.3 4 5. To disanul the rash Vows of their Children before Marriage If a Woman also vow a Vow unto the Lord and bind her self by a Bond being in her Father's House in her youth and her Father hear her Vow and her Bond wherewith she hath bound her Soul and her Father shall hold his peace at her Then all her Vows shall stand and every Bond wherewith she hath bound her Soul shall stand But if her Father disallow her in the day that he heareth not any of her Vows or of her Bonds wherewith she hath bound her Soul shall stand And
a loving Son unto her He knew how great an affliction it would be to her to be deprived of the Comfort of his presence in the World he knew to how many necessities and wants she should be exposed by his leaving of her and therefore he gives it in charge to the beloved Disciple to do the Duty of a Son unto her to be to her in his stead to honour her to love her to serve her to take care of her and provide whatever might be fit for her This shews all Children what is their Duty towards their Parents to wit that they ought to take care of them so long as they live and are able to do it they ought with all respect and kindness to perform unto them all those Offices which the Laws of Nature and Christianity require Fourthly May not the Examples of some Heathens 4. Motive from the Examples of some Heathens which have already been mentioned excite Christian Children to perform their Duty to their Parents There are a great many more instances might be added to this purpose I shall only mention two The first is of the brave Coriolanus that Great Roman Commander who being very ill used by his Country-men fled to the Volscians who were at that time at War with the Romans Within a little time after his coming amongst them he was made General of their Forces in which Service he had great Success against the Romans gaining several Victories over them whereby he was encouraged to approach to the very Walls of Rome His Country-men were terribly alarmed with this so that they were forced to make humble Addresses to him to deprecate his displeasure but to no purpose They sent their Priests in their sacred Vestments but to as little Effect But no sooner did his Mother attended with his Wife and Children come to him but he submitted himself to her Now says he you have overcome me indeed when the intreaties of my Mother are added to yours tho' Rome deserve my hatred yet for my Mothers sake I will spare it and immediately he withdrew his Army A second Example is that of the worthy Athenian Captain Cimon who not being able to redeem the Corps of his Father which was arrested for Debt sold himself and became a Slave that his deceased Father's Body might be freed from that Arrest that was upon it and so might have honourable Burial This great Man was famous for his Noble and Valiant Exploits for his great courage and excellent Conduct in Military Affairs but there was not any thing for which he was so much admired and loved as for this wonderful instance of Affection and Respect to his Father May not such shining Patterns amongst the Pagans make many Christians ashamed who come so far short of them in their Duty and Obedience to their Parents Shall not they rise up in Judgment and condemn Christians who tho' they have a more excellent compleat and perfect Rule tho' they have a great deal more Light to direct them in their Duty to their Parents and tho' they have much greater assistances to enable them to perform their Duty do nevertheless carry themselves so undutifully and unchristianly as if they had never heard of the Gospel of Christ yea as if they had been born without any impressions of Natural Religion on their Minds whereby all Nations are so far instructed and enlightned as to acknowledge that to honour obey love serve and assist our Parents is a Duty of unquestionable and indispensible Obligation The Conclusion shewing how Children ought to improve what hath been said From what hath been said Children may see how great reason they have to perform all those offices of Love Honour and Subjection to their Parents that God requires of them It remains that they seriously and impartially consider what their practice has been and whether they have done those things which God requires them to do towards their Father and Mother That you may do this to good purpose it 's fit that you employ some time in looking back on your Lives in considering how you have honoured loved and obeyed your Parents that you may see whether you have carried your selves towards them in words and deeds as became good Children who have a sense of Religion or whether you have not dishonoured neglected and disobeyed them If upon Examination of your selves you find that you have done your Duty that you have sincerely endeavoured to obey them in all things that you have loved them heartily and payed them that Respect which you knew was due unto them Bless God who hath given you to will and to do according to his good pleasure But because there are defects and imperfections which cleave to our exactest performances therefore it is needful that you beg of God to forgive you wherein soever you have been faulty or defective in those Duties you owed them Consider what these defects and imperfections are and resolve to amend them and go on in doing every part of your Duty to them with greater exactness and with all that perfection that 's possible But if upon inquiry into your hearts and lives you find that you have been very faulty and defective in the Duties you owe to your Parents that you have neglected to do what you ought to have done that instead of honouring them you have dishonoured them you have slighted and despised them you have moâ—kâ—d and scorned them you have reviled and reproached them if instead of obeying them you find that you have been stubborn and disobedient to them you have refused to follow their Counsels and Admonitions you have done your own Will and followed your own vain humour and fancy in contempt of their Will if instead of submitting to their corrections and chastenings you have refused submission to them and perhaps have rebelled against them if instead of loving them you have hated them and wished and desired their death if instead of relieving them in their wants and supplying them with what was necessary for them you have wasted their substance by your riotous and extravagant Living you have put off all bowels of compassion and tenderness towards them it I say you find that you have thus carried your selves towards them in a way so contrary to your Duty how ought you to lament and mourn for your wickedness and folly How ought you to accuse your selves for your great iniquity and to aggravate your crimes by all just and fit considerations You may in this manner expostulate the case with your selves What a sad and unworthy Wretch am I who have thus dishonoured hated and disobeyed my dear Parents who are under God the Authors of my Being in the World to whom I owe that I am Who have proved so undutiful to them who took care of me when I could not take care of my self who fed and cloathed me who were at so great pains and charge for me who have employed so much of their time and strength
to provide for me all necessary things and yet that I should prove so wicked as to despise them to disobey them and hate them not to submit my self unto them what base and wicked ingratitude is it That I who should have been a Blessing to them should prove a Curse That I who should have been a Comfort to them should be the cause of their grief and sorrow That I who should have been a help unto them should be so great a hinderance That I who should have been the stay and support of their Old age should prove their ruine and the cause of the spending of their days in anguish and trouble What a prodigious impiety is this What a wretched and abominable Creature am I who have been guilty of such horrid impiety Who have had so little regard to those who are to me in God's stead here in the World What punishment do I not deserve What a wonder is it that God hath spared me and pitied me and hath not cut me off in the midst of my disobedience neglect and contempt of my Parents That he hath not made me an Example to all others and a standing Monument of his just displeasure That he has not bound me hand and foot and cast me into utter darkness and given me my portion with Hypocrites and Sinners but hath lengthened out my years and given me time and place to repent Having thus in your own minds expostulated the matter with your selves you may in the next place adore and bless the Divine Goodness the infinite Mercy and astonishing Kindness of God towards you in having spared and pitied you in not dealing with you after your sins nor rewarding you after your iniquities but that he hath been pleased to wait to be gracious to you Humbly confess your faults and offences unto him with great shame and confusion of face and with true grief and sorrow of heart acknowledge your iniquities make particular confession so far as you remember of your stubbornness and disobedience to your Parents of your contempt and neglect of them of your hating them and wishing Evil to them of your speaking irreverently and wickedly to them or of them of your not submitting to their Corrections of your not heeding their Admonitions and Counsels nor regarding their just Reproofs c. Beg of God for Christ's sake to have mercy on you and to blot out your Sins and to make you what you ought to be After this it is fit to form sincere and hearty Resolutions of doing your Duty in all respects to your Parents for the time to come of loving honouring obeying and serving them as you ought to do Resolve to amend whatever has been amiss and defective either in your thoughts words or deeds with relation to them Beg of God to strengthen you in your Resolutions to fortify you against all Temptations to inspire you with his Fear and Love to guide you by his good Spirit and that he would never leave you nor forsake you If the Example and Society of other wicked Children has been an occasion of making you so bad and of hardening you in your Contempt Stubbornness and Disobedience resolve to break off your Familiarities with them let them and all others know and see that you are sorry for your Disobedience to your Parents for your having dishonoured slighted and neglected them and that you are resolved to do so no more but will by the help of God approve your selves Dutiful Kind and Obedient Children Not only must you in this manner make your Humble and Penitent Confession to Almighty God your Heavenly Father whom you have provoked as by your other Sins so particularly by your disobedience to your Parents and by your dishonouring of them but you must likewise confess unto your Parents the Crimes whereof you have been guilty against them you must say as the Prodigal did I will arise and go to my Father and will say unto him Father I have sinned against Heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy Son Luke 15.18 19. Let your Parents see that you are heartily sorry for your Offences against them by Word or Deed beg of them to forgive you and desire them to pray to God that he would forgive you You are to be careful after this to fulfil your Purposes and Resolutions and to perform all those Duties of Love Honour and Obedience to your Parents wherein you were formerly so defective For this end it is fit daily and earnestly to beg of God that he would direct and assist you to do what is well-pleasing in his sight It is necessary for you to be very jealous of your deceitful and desperately wicked Hearts to watch over them carefully lest they turn aside towards your former crooked Ways lest you return with the Dog to the Vomit Watch against all those Temptations whereby you are most in danger of being seduced and intangled again in your former perverse Practices and Customs As you have been formerly very negligent and defective in Honouring and Obeying your Parents endeavour for the future so much the more to perform all those Duties which you owe unto them with great care and exactness As you have been great Examples of Disobedience strive to be so much the greater Patterns of Obedience Endeavour to do all that you can that they who have been by your Counsels or Examples corrupted and made stubborn and disobedient may be reformed and rescued from their sins and wickedness that as you have been Instruments to promote Satan's Kingdom so you may be zealous for the glory of God for promoting Piety and true Virtue in the World whereof this is no inconsiderable part that Children honour their Father and Mother and do all those Duties with chearfulness unto them which God requires This is the way to obtain the divine pardon to turn away his Wrath and to keep off those heavy Judgments which are threatned against stubborn Children and such who mock and scorn their Parents Or if God see it fit to punish you here he will make your Corrections and Punishments and all other things work together for your good and after he hath tryed you he will bestow upon you rewards of everlasting Life and Glory As for those who are so perverse as to despise all Counsel and Advice who refuse to hearken to any Instructions who are resolved to go on in their stubbornness and disobedience to their Parents in slighting and vilifying them let them remember what the Wise Man saith Eccles 11.9 Rejoice O young Man in thy Youth and let thine heart chear thee in the days of thy youth and walk in the ways of thine heart and in the sight of thine Eyes But know thou that for all these things God will bring thee into Judgment A DISCOURSE About the RIGHT WAY Of Improving our TIME By a Divine of the Church of England LONDON Printed for S. Lowndes over against Exeter Exchange in the
and merry Meetings I would not have her use too much Fasting and Abstinence which may hurt her health at least till she be stronger and better able to bear it Let her use God's Creatures for necessity and not for voluptuousness sake Suffer her not to be at Musical concerts nor to be fond of Fiddles and Lutes and Harps but let her repeat every day some passages out of the Word of God Let her not go abroad any where without her Mother nor be very familiar or enter into intreagues with any Servant Appoint her a Governess that 's sage and wise and who may teach her to rise at midnight to sing Praises to her God Let her pray and work Day and Night Teach her to handle her Needle to spin and to exercise her self in turning the Spindle Suffer her not to imploy her self in Imbroideries of Gold and Silver Let her Clothes be plain and decent and let her eat soberly and temperately and let her not take pleaâ—â—â—â— I know what will be objected here that this is the advice of a Hermit and to teach a Daughter how to be a Nun. But still I appeal to any unprejudiced person whether this be not the most likely way to Salvation and whether these Precepts be not agreeable to the Gospel of Christ And though I will grant that all are not under the same Circumstances and all cannot give the same Education yet as to the principal part of the advice which is to teach Children by Word and Example how to die to Sin and to the World it must be granted it 's very practicable This Age indeed hath learnt to shake off these stricter Rules but they should shew us too what Warrant they have from the Word of God to do so It was judiciously observed of Fabius that a soft and effeminate Education breaks the strength of Body and Mind and whilst we breed up Children to all the Arts of Vanity and Luxury they continue strangers to God and to themselves The Vine grows wild if it be not cut so doth Youth if they be not betimes curbed in things which war against the Soul Vnderstand this ye Parents and be instructed ye to whom God hath committed the care of Education ye are God's Stewards and your Children are the Goods you are to manage to your Master's Glory Their blood God will require at your hands Have not ye read the Curse God pronounced against Eli for his negligence and are not ye afraid of the same Judgment Ye are the persons by whom your Children must be taught to serve God in their Generation ye are the persons from whom they are to learn their Duty to God and Man at your door the fault will lie if they miscarry through your carelesness Are their Souls so contemptible in your eyes that you will let them perish for want of Admonition Did Christ think them worth purchasing with his own Blood and will ye let them lie without fence or wall or cultivation You take care that they may live comfortably in this World Is it not a greater Duty to bestir your selves that they may enjoy God for ever It is joy to you to see them do well here and ought it not to be a greater joy to find that they are like to reign with Christ and his Saints in a better World You love them but how doth it appear you do while you let their Souls die Is this your Love to provide for their flesh and to neglect enriching their better part with religious Principles You would have them go to Heaven when they die but how is it possible they should when you are loth to be at the trouble to shew them the way that leads to that Paradise Was ever any man saved without Holiness and do you hope they will be without this qualification If you teach them not by Word and Example to practise that Holiness how can you or they hope to ascend into the Mount of God or dwell on the everlasting Hills Do you believe a future Account and do not ye enquire whether you discharge your Duty to your Children Or is this no part of the Account ye are to give Ye are the persons who are to breathe goodness into them and to give them life and happiness Ye are their Gods as it were and from you they receive their motion and their spiritual as well as their natural life must begin from you Ye are Magistrates in your Families and it is your Province to be a terrour to evil doers and Encouragers of those that do well If by your indulgence they sin and by your connivence they grow wicked will not the supreme Judge be avenged on such Officers You blame Governours of a Commonwealth if they do not adnimadvert on Offenders or are regardless of the reins of Justice and do not you blame your selves who are Commanders in your Families for suffering the fear of God to decay there which is the only thing that can make them happy How is it that you will not understand your interest Is it not your interest to educate them into the Practice of Virtue and Goodness and Self-denial If they love God they must needs love you that love will constrain them to express their Duty to you The Presence of God will over-awe them and they 'l obey you not with eye-service but when your eye is off from them The fear of God will make them conscientious of obeying your Commands in secret and if your good Counsels and Examples prevail with them they will be not only your Children but the Children of God and you will have this satisfaction that you do not only love them but that God loves them and dwells in them and they in him Remember this ye that are Children and let this encourage you to a faithful discharge of your Duty Your Parents that under God gave you life have a just Right to your Services and Obedience You are born Servants to them and to be at their beck and command is the obligation you bring with you into the World As the Authority of Parents was the first Government in the World so your subjection to them is the first Service that was ever known in the World Can you think any thing too good for them who are the great Instruments of conveying to you all the goods you possess and all the endowments you are invested with If you follow not their good Instructions and Admonitions ye are the greatest Rebels in the World and the sin is as great a Treason in the Family you live in as Sedition in a Kingdom is against the State You have the noblest Promises made you to reward your Obedience and though it is a natural Duty bound up with your very Being yet God will reward it as if it were a deliberate self-denial and because you shall not stay for the recompence God will bless you here and your lives shall be comfortable on this side Heaven It
of Men in all places and in all Ages whereby they are taught that Children ought to honour and obey their Parents to love them and to relieve them and provide for them if they stand in need of their help These have always been the calm and sober thoughts of all Men and when any were so wicked as to violate this sacred Law they were hated and abhorred by all others and in all well govern'd States were punished according to the demerits of their Crime and the degree of their disobedience and perverseness either immediately by the Parents or by publick Judges upon complaint made by Parents The Sense of all this ought to move Children to honour their Father and Mother that they may approve themselves to God who requires them to do so and that upon the severest Penalties if they shall dare to dishonour them and disobey them Secondly To encourage Children to perform their Duty to their Parents 2. Motive from the Divine Promise God hath been pleased to add a gracious promise That thy days may be long upon the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee He might only have commanded them to do this by virtue of his absolute Power and Soveraign Authority which he has over all Men without proposing any Reward but such is his infinite Bounty and Goodness that he hath added a Promise to the Command thereby to make Childrens Duty the more easie As to the Promise it self it is not to be understood absolutely as if all good Children should live long promises of Temporal Blessings are made conditionally that is so far as God sees such things best and fittest for us So that as to this promise of long life God will bestow it if it be most for his own Glory and the good and Benefit of Children Oftentimes he does lengthen out the years of pious and dutiful Children whereas the years of wicked and undutiful Children are shortned by their prophane and wicked Courses so that some of them are cut off immediately by the hand of God and others are put to death by the hand of Man As for those Children who live not to a great Age tho' they are very dutiful and obedient to their Parents God doth make up what is wanting in the number of their years here with an everlasting Life and Glory in Heaven In which case there 's no cause to Complain as if God did not fulfill his promise to them For as there is no reason for a Man to complain who is employed to work for so much a day if his Master see it fit to free him from his Work and pay him all his Wages before the third part of his time is out Even so if God think fit to set his Children at Liberty from the toil and labour of this life and to bestow upon them glorious and Eternal Rewards while they are in the Morning or Noon as it were of their Age there is no ground of complaining upon his doing so but rather great matter of praise and thanksgiving unto him whose mercy and love is infinitely great But besides this Reward in the other World there are Temporal Blessings which God will bestow on those who keep this Commandment How acceptable and pleasing to him was the Obedience of the Rechabites unto their Father tho' his Commands seemed very hard and severe to wit That they should drink no Wine nor build House nor sow seed nor plant Vineyard nor have any but should dwell in Tents Jer. 35. 6 7. c. And ver 18. Jeremiah said unto the House of the Rechabites Thus saith the Lord of Hosts the God of Israel because you have obeyed the Command of Jonadab your Father and kept all his Precepts and done according to all that he hath commanded you Therefore thus saith the Lord of Hosts the God of Israel Jonadab the Son of Rechab shall not want a Man to stand before me for ever Which Words import that he would take a particular care of them that he would be mindful of them and have them in his Eye that he would preserve them and shew them his favour and love and continue unto them those Offices and Priviledges which they enjoyed which some think were of being Scribes and Doctors of the Law and having some Charge in or about the Temple 3. Motive from the Example of our Blessed Saviour Thirdly Besides the Command of God and the Reward which he hath promised to them who honour their Parents how strong an Argument ought it to be unto all Children to excite them to this when they consider the Example of their Blessed Lord and Master their King and Saviour Jesus Christ Of whom it is said that he was subject unto his Parents Luke 2.51 And if he who was so much greater than his Parents who was their Lord their King their Maker their Saviour and Redeemer if he who was the Son of God and thought it no Robbery to be equal with God I say if he was subject to his Parents ought not all Children to be so to their Parents and to esteem it their glory to imitate their Prince and Saviour as in his other Virtues so in his Obedience and Subjection to his Parents Shall any Man think himself too good to do this when Christ did it before him Can it be too mean for a Worm to do that which a Man a great Man and a mighty Prince hath done Shall vile sinners think themselves abased and dishonoured by doing that which was done before by him who knew no sin and in whose Mouth there was found no guile who was holy harmless and undefiled separate from sinners and made higher than the Heavens Heb. 7.26 As our Blessed Lord was a great and noble Pattern to us in other things so particularly in his love to his Parents When he was upon the Cross a little before he gave up the Ghost he expressed how great his love was to his Mother and how tender a care he had of her John 19.25 26 27. Now there stood by the Cross of Jesus his Mother and his Mothers Sister Mary the Wife of Cleophas and Mary Magdalene When Jesus therefore saw his Mother and the Disciple standing by whom he loved he saith unto his Mother Woman behold thy Son Then saith he to the Disciple behold thy Mother And from that hour that Disciple took her unto his own home He commends his Mother to John Joseph in all probability being dead that he might take care of her as of his own Mother Tho' he was at this time in the midst of great pain and anguish tho' his hands and his feet were nailed to the Cross tho' his head was Crowned with Thorns tho' he lay under the most insupportable Burden that ever Man lay under yet as if the sight of his Mother had made him forget all his Sufferings and Torments he affectionately recommends her to the Care of another who he knew would perform all the Offices of
is who do not imploy to any good purpose those Gifts which God bestows upon them who stand idle all the day long in the Vineyard Eighthly Redeem time in your sacred and religious Duties 8. Time to be redeemed in sacred performances by doing them in the best manner and Performances by endeavouring to do them in the best and perfectest manner you can When you read and pray and meditate and examine your selves and hear the word of God preached and sing his praises and partake of the holy Sacrament and perform other acts of Religion and Piety in a lifeless dull unconcerned and formal manner you lose your time and therefore when by due reflection upon your ways you find that you do so endeavour afterwards to redeem it by greater watchfulness and seriousness otherwise you may go on a great while in a course of Devotion to very little purpose if you do not stir up your selves to do the best that 's in your power to do by God's help Thus when you find that you have read the Word of God in a careless and negligent manner without considering whose Word it is and for what end it is written and without those dispositions of mind that are necessary you must afterwards endeavour to redeem the time by being more careful to read that sacred Book with greater reverence and seriousness and with greater pleasure and delight Pray to God more heartily for his direction and assistance Meditate more attentively on what you read and lay it up in your hearts that it may be always in a readiness for your use as the rule of your lives If you find that you have lost your time in prayer by not making your Addresses to God with a deep humility and reverence with unfeigned Faith and fervent Love and with great earnestness sincerity and importunity endeavour afterwards to pray with all possible humility and reverence with greater Faith and Confidence and with a mighty earnestness and fervency of Spirit Study to have your Souls possessed with a deeper sense of your wants and necessities that you may beg supplies of all needful things from him who can help you to the utmost Be more sensible of the greatness of your sins and of the many hainous aggravations that attend them that you may make humble confession of them with true sorrow and contrition Consider the danger to which your Hypocrisie or formality and lukewarmness in religious Duties do expose you that you may with great integrity and uprightness of Soul make your Addresses to the searcher of Hearts and tryer of the Reins who takes pleasure in the hearty and chearful services of those who draw near unto him Be possessed with more lively impressions of the Divine Power and Greatness of the Justice Holiness Goodness Mercy and Faithfulness of God that the sense thereof may make you adore him and call upon him in such a manner as is suitable to so glorious a Majesty If you find that the time you have set apart for self Examination has been lost by a negligent performance of this Duty by your not being in good earnest when you pretended to call your selves to an account Endeavour to redeem the time by searching your hearts and enquiring into your ways with greater care and exactness Examine and try your selves as in the sight of God as Men that are in good earnest to save their Souls from everlasting condemnation Deal impartially with your selves do not extenuate your own Faults but aggravate them by all just and fit considerations Endeavour to be deeply touch'd with hearty Contrition and real Grief and Sorrow for them let your repentance in all regards be more sincere and unfeigned and your purposes and resolutious more strong and steady If you find that you have reflected on God's Mercies and Favours to you without that grateful sense which you ought to have had thereof and without making suitable returns so far as you were able by his Grace for his great and undeserved goodness endeavour afterwards to employ your thoughts on so delightful a subject as is the Divine Love and Goodness with greater pleasure and with a more lively sense thereof than you have been wont Let the consideration of the love and goodness of God powerfully move you and prevail with you to do somewhat which may testifie the reality of your gratitude somewhat that may be of real benefit to the Souls or Bodies of others If you find that you have been very formal and careless in performing what relates to the publick Worship endeavour to redeem the time by being more sincere and devout For Example if you have heard the Word of God read and preached in a trifling and unconcerned manner without those dispositions of mind which were requisite in a Christian Hearer and in an humble Disciple of Jesus Christ if you have attended on such occasions more out of compliance with Custom and the Example of others than out of Conscience and from Principles of true Religion and Devotion Consider that this is to lose time and under an appearance of Religion to remain without any thing of it in reality You must therefore afterwards endeavour to hear the Word of God in another manner to wit as the Law and Rule of your Lives as that which is given you of God to make you wise and good and to fit you for everlasting Happiness and Glory you must as new born Babes desire the sincere Milk of the Word that your Souls may grow thereby You must hear it with great reverence and attention and with humble and tractable minds you must study to have it ingrafted in your hearts that it may abide there as a Scion in a stock and may grow and bear fruit unto everlasting life You must reflect on what you hear when you leave the Church you must not lay aside all further thinking on what has been read or preached to you you are to talk a little with your own hearts about those things and to call to mind any thing you heard which tends to make you wiser and better Endeavour to have it deeply imprinted on your Souls that it may prove unto you the Power of God unto Salvation the savour of life unto life If you find that you have been too often guilty of singing the Praises of God with your mouths only without any melody in your hearts without any real sense of the greatness and power of the kindness and love of the patience and long-suffering of the truth and faithfulness of him whom you praise and celebrate Endeavour to be more devout and serious in that part of Worship sing unto God not only with you Voice but with your Heart which is the chief thing that God looks to Study to raise your Souls to him as well as to lift up your Voices when you sing his praises Stir up all within you to bless his holy Name who forgiveth all your Iniquities and healeth all your diseases who crowneth