ponderous burden so that one way or other every one must be exercised in a lawfull Calling David was a Shepheard to look to Sheep before the shepheard over the house of Israel Psal 78.70.71 Peter and Andrew and other of the Apostles were fishermen Mark 1.16.19 before fishers of men Paul was a Tent-maker Acts 18.1 2 3. Joseph the husband of Mary was a Carpenter Mat. 13.54 55. And it is somewhat probable that our Saviour himself before he entred into his Ministeriall Office did work at his Fathers Trade Mark 6.3 You see then that there is a command from God that all persons must have honest Callings Secondly here are presidents enough to make it cleare from all exceptions And therefore it is the duty of Parents to labour to provide for their Children honest and lawfull Callings but in your endeavours this way let me advise you to take care of three things First Be carefull to gaine for them such Masters as feare the Lord for else thou maiest feare that all thy paines thou hast taken with them for the good of their soules may be lost Secondly Be carefull to put them to such Callings as they are most capable of Some Histories report that the Jews before they would put their Children to any Calling would first bring them into a large Roome which they did furnish with all Artificers tooles and if there they did take up any toole and seeme to take delight therein they would put them to that Calling unto which the same did belong Thirdly and lastly thou must take care to put them to such Callings as require no more stock of money to mannage them than thou art like to leave to them for else when their Time is out they can make no benefit by their Trades unlesse they remaine in a state of servitude by working under others The Apostle saith Art thou called a Servant care not for it that is be not dejected therefore but if thou maist be free use it rather 1 Cor. 7.21 And then in the 23. verse he addes Ye are bought with a price be not servants of men Therefore thou that art a Parent let thy care be such for thy children that thou make them servants to others but for a convenient time that after they may live in a free and honourable way The third duty Parents owe unto their Children for their outward estate The third Duty Parents owe unto their Children is to labour to provide them fit Marriages in seasonable time And for this we have first a word of Command from God Secondly command from Christian Parents In Jeremiah 29.6 God requires his People to take Wives for their Sonnes and to give their Daughters in Marriage Thirdly for examples mind the practice of of Abraham before made use of Gen. 24.3.4 Consider the practice of Isaac and Rebecca his wife for Jacob in Gen. 27.46 And then in the first verse of the next Chapter the carriage of Naomi for Ruth is a singular example Shall I not seek rest for thee saith she that it may be well with thee which was a Husband as doth after appear Ruth 3.1 By which Scriptures it doth appear clearly to be the duty of Parents in seasonable time to labour to provide Marriages for their Children Now there are some symptomes of this seasonable time whereof I shall name and onely name four First fulnesse and maturity of body Secondly solidity of understanding Thirdly their Constitutions And lastly the seeming delight they take in keeping company with the contrary sex This shall suffice for this third duty of Parents to their Children The fourth and last duty Parents owe unto their Children in relation to their outward condition is to provide for them The fourth duty of Parents to their Children in outward respects and to bestow on them competent maintenance if not more Jacob will travail for his own house Gen. 30.30 Prov. 13.22 A good man leaveth an inheritance to his Children but the eldest Son must have the double portion Deut. 21.16 17. unlesse he dis-inherit himself by any prophanenesse as Esau Heb. 12.16 And this maintenance must be bestowed on them in seasonable time not too soon as the Father of the Prodigall Sonne did Luke 15.12 but when they have necessary occcasion to use it as when with their parents consent they shall begin to look out for themselves in worthy imployments though before Marriage But especially at the time of marriage such are sordid Parents that will part with nothing till death they doe much discourage their children and provoke them to wrath against the Apostles Injunction Ephes 6.4 These are Persons without naturall affection and to be hist at as they goe Here then you see Parents must perform foure Duties to their Children in relation to their outward condition First to bring them up to learning Secondly to provide for them honest and lawfull Callings Thirdly to labour to further them in the change of their conditions by marriage And fourthly and lastly to make provision for them by competent maintenance The first outward duty that Masters owe to their servants The next thing in order to what was first propounded is to consider what duties Governours of Families doe owe unto their servants for their outward comfortable subsistance And In the first place it is the duty of Masters c. to provide for their servants wholsome and well-conditioned Meat and Drink in due time and sufficient of that too as also lodging and washing and what else is necessary for to maintain life and livelihood In order to which the wife must take notice that the chief care of this in reference to the distribution of it and the well-ordering of all things herein concerns her selfe And therefore the Holy Ghost puts upon record the practice of the good Huswife in Proverbs 31.15 of whom it is said That she riseth whilst it is yet Night and giveth meat to her Houshold and a portion unto her Maids For doubtlesse the comfortable allowance of these things is one speciall means by the blessing of God to maintain health and to make them able and strong in body and chearfull in mind to performe such service as is required of them But if it please the Lord to visit them with sickness or lameness in body or limbs and thereby to abate strength and vigour of body and spirit then it is the duty of their Masters and Dames to look out in the use of means for their recovery to make use both of Physitians and Physick and all helps Providence may provide for comfort under affliction and restoration to health again Naaman a servant to the King of Syria being afflicted by the Plague of Leprosie his Master writes a letter in his behalfe to the King of Israel and sends it by the hand of Naaman in order to the recovery of his health again 2 Kings 5.5 The good Centurion we read of in Matth. 8.6 8. when his servant was sick of
the Palsie and grievously tormented he goes in person to Jesus Christ who was a Physitian both for body and soul and humbly beseecheth him for his servants cure and through the free grace of Christ obtains it its good to goe to God in the first place for supplyes of all the wants of our selves and our relations Hee that is in misery ought to bee comforted of his neighbour as it is in the Geneva Translation Job 6.14 Now if Neighbours must put forth themselves to comfort or relieve and help such as are in any misery How much more must Governours of Families labour to perform this duty to their sick and distempered servants the inference is undenyable A good man is mercifull to his beast saith one Translation And another saith A righteous man regardeth the life of his Beast Proverbs 12.10 And how much better is a man than a sheep Mat. 12.12 But it is much to be bewailed that many servants who have in their health and strength well discharged their duties to their Masters yet find small comfort and regard from them when the hand of God is fallen upon them for they are then either sent home to their poor and indigent Parents to take care after or else mued up in a hole and small attendance and lesse allowance of means for their good provided for them such Governours of Families are cursed and hard-hearted persons and pity it is that ever good servants should step over their Thresholds to serve them for such have neither mercy nor justice in them neither grace nor good nature And yet of this stamp and hell-bred crew there are great swarms but let them take heed God is just their owne children be not so served when they are servants to others but I wish them better speed We might here adde a Word concerning seasonable Recreations to be allowed to servants for they may stand in great need of them sometimes after long and sore labour to quicken their spirits and to enliven them with all alacrity to return to their imployment we say Whet is no let And without doubt if Masters would grant it them they would be rather gainers by in the quick and wel-managing their businesses than losers But when Masters grant this liberty as before said I would advise them to take much care that the Recreations allowed be lawfull the time seasonable and their servants company civill or else both Masters and servants may repent the one that they gave the liberty and the other that they so ill improved the same In the second place it is the duty of Masters c. The second outward duty that Masters owe to their servants to allow their servants sufficient wages for their labour and to pay it to them when it is due If they have not sufficient wages they cannot maintaine themselves for the preservation of health and decency both which must be allowed nay and more too if their deserts challenge the same servants may spend thoughts of changing their estate we say service is no heritage and must they make no preparation in order thereunto That were absurd to thinke would you that are Masters have your servants barely live You would not like that if you would be pleased to put your selves in their condition But in the second place it is the duty of Masters to pay their servants their wages in due time and that is when it is due by the conditions of the Contract betweene you and them Mal. 3.5 God threatens to be a swift witnesse against this particular sin of oppressing the hireling in his wages amongst other sins Now a man may be guilty of this sin as well in deteining due wages in relation to time of paiment of it as in over-reaching a servant in contract for it turne to that place Deut. 24.14 15. Thou shalt not oppresse an hired servant at his day thou shalt give him his hire neither shall the sun go down upon it The Labourer is worthy of his hire Luk. 10.7 Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equall Col. 4.1 James tels you that the detaining wages from Labourers cryeth and the cries of them are entred into the cares of the Lord of Sabbath James 5.4 And surely when ever the Lord gives an eare to cries whether the cry of Innocent bloud as that of Abel Gen. 4.10 or any other occasion some fearfull vengeance doth fall upon the heads of such as cause them to ascend and therefore the Apostle James bids those worldlings houle for those miseries that should come upon them Now you that are Masters c. as you would keep off the curse prevent the cry The third duty of Masters to their Servants In the third and last place the dutie of Masters c. to their servants is to be liberall to them at times of parting in case they have been servants a considerable time and have been diligent and faithfull and so a blessing to them Deut. 15.12 13 14. So Prov. 17.2 There be many Masters who are strangers to this duty even in the knowledge of it and more in the practice thereof Yet some I dare not say in conscience to the performance of this duty but rather from the freenesse of their nature doe upon the matter that which is equivalent hereunto namely those that if their servants part from them by Marriage will give them beneficiall wedding dinners and sometimes divers peeces of necessary houshold-stuffe which is a great advantage to them and this is so laudable a thing that I could wish all would more practice the same provided they prevent all abusivenesse of the Creature by luxury and excess and disorder of every kind at such meetings Thus you see that Governours of Families do owe three duties to their servants in relation to their outward conditions First to allow unthem meat drinke and all other necessaries for their comfortable subsistance Secondly to yield them sufficient wages And lastly to be liberall to them at time of parting And thus by the gracious assistance of God we have finished all that was proposed at first to be considered of by such as desire to enter into the Marriage estate relating to the duties which each person in that condition of life owe one to another and both of them to such as God shall set under them viz. to children and servants But here it will be of some concernment to take notice of what duty children and servants owe unto Parents and Masters that they may call upon them to performe the same where we shall first observe the duties Children owe unto their Parents and then the duties of Servants to their Masters c. In the first place it is the duty of Children to yield unto their Parents all due Reverence and Honour The first duty Children owe unto their Parents this duty is expresly commanded by God in Exod. 20.12 Honour thy father and thy mother which the Apostle Eph. 6.2 takes notice
of to be the first Commandement with promise Mal. 6.6 A son honoureth his Father If I be a Father where is my honour But how should this Honour and Reverence be exprest may some say I answer first in words Secondly in actions and gestures First in words Children must reverence their Parents by using few words in their Parents presence or hearing Silence for the generall well becomes the younger sort before the Elder but more properly Children before their Parents And when they speake to them they must make use of the choicest expression that may be to hold forth their dutifull respect by And for their Action too they must be full of Humility as rising up before them and standing in their presence if they expect it being uncovered so long as they think fit and making obeysance on all occasions by shewing all filiall and Child-like dispositions to them by harkening to all their grave Counsels and Admonitions with diligent attention Prov. 1.8 Chap. 5.1 As also by submitting and subjecting themselves to all their godly reprehensions and by treading in their religious steps and imitating their unblameable examples and by covering all their imperfections and weaknesses as Shem and Japhet did when their Father lay drunke and naked in his Tent. Solomon is a singular example of honouring his Mother in another kind 1 Kings 2.19 The second duty of Children to their Parents In the second place it is the duty of Children to obey their Parents in all things lawfull and that with all readinesse Children obey your Parents in the Lord Eph. 6.1 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord Col 3.20 Now this must be a cheerefull obedience without contending Isaac will submit to his Father though it be in matter of death Gen. 22 9 10. And so will the Daughter of Jephtha Judg. 11 39. The Rechabus obey Jonadab their Father in things that required a great deale of selfe-deniall Ier. 35.5 6 7. which the Lord rewards them for in ver 18 19. A Bishop must rule his own house well and have his Children in subjection 1 Tim. 3.4 Now subjection of all Children to Parents is as much a duty as it is in the children of the Ministers of the Gospell And of this obedience unto Parents we have an example beyond all presidents in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ of whom it is said he went down with his Parents to Nazareth and was subject to them Luk. 2.51 Children must not make their own wils a rule of their actions but the Commandements of God and the Precepts of their Parents that are not contrary to the revealed will of God they must also quietly submit to such correction as they shall think fit to inflict on them for their faults In the third and last place it is the duty of Children to their Parents to labour to provide safty for them in the times of danger The third duty of Children to their Parents and competent maintenance in their necessitous conditions to their utmost abilities for the first take a president from Rahab the Harlot which is laid down at large in Josh 2.12 13. where she doth indent with the Spies sent to view the land to save her Fathers house and to preserve her Father and her Mother c. And for the duty of Children to relieve their Parents in their want consider what the Apostle saith in 1 Tim. 5.4 That to requite our Parents is good and acceptable before God When Parents have been at great paines and charge to bring up their Children and then come to poverty which perhaps may be occasioned by such charge it is not only against grace but against good nature too to cast them off without due care to relieve them it was the pestilent doctrine of the Pharisees to maintaine that Children were discharged from their duty herein provided they did offer a gift at the Altar which was indeed but to fill their pouches Mar. 7.11 12 13. Which practice of theirs as well as their doctrine our Saviour there condemnes We may learne a better example from the practice of Ioseph when he was in prosperity and his Fathers house in want Gen. 47.11 12. For he nourished his Father and his whole Family in Ramases which was the most fertile place of all Egypt When Naomi returned very poore out of the Land of Moab into the Land of Israel Ruth 1.21 then her Daughter in Law wrought hard and tooke great paines to gaine provision for her maintenance God condemnes the formall fasts of the Children of Israel as for other things so for this that they did hide themselves from their own flesh Isa 58.6 7. Now Parents may be more truly said to be our own flesh than others in common can be said to be our Saviour in that place of Marke makes it one kind of honouring Parents to relieve them in their want and to honour our Parents you have it proved before to be a duty from children There be other duties which children owe unto their Parents but they may be included in these If these be conscientiously performed they will be all discharged The duties then which children owe unto their Parents which are obvious to your eye are first to reverence them Secondly to obey them Thirdly to labour to preserve them from danger and to maintaine them in their wants In the last place we are to proceed to discusse the duties which servants owe unto their Masters c. and then we shall draw to a conclusion of this poore Treatise and so leave all upon your hearts to practice in your lives The first duty that servants owe unto their Masters The first duty of servants to their Masters c. is the same that children owe to their Parents that is Honour and Reverence this duty all Inferiours owe to their Superiours and therefore it must be a duty here Now that it is so consider the fore quoted place Mal. 1.6 A son honoureth his Father and a Servant his Master If I be a Master saith God where is my feare or Reverence Implying that honour and reverence is a duty servants owe to their Masters and that they are obliged to the performance of it That place in 1 Tim. 6.1 is much to be observed for this purpose where the Apostle requires all servants that are under the yoke to count their own Masters worthy of all honour and then adds a reason for the same which is this That the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphâ—med Then it is very cleare that such servants as make no conscience to performe this duty of giving honour to their Masters do expose the name and word of eternall God to contempt and to be blasphemed and how shall such servants ever be able to answer for this sin of theirs before the great and all-powerfull God who is alwaies armed with divine vengeance to be powred down upon the heads and hearts of
such as are offenders in this kind and such are all servants that discharge not the duty here mentioned Now if servants would know how and in what way this duty should be performed for their help therein I refer them to those means briefly nominated for direction to children in the performance of this very duty to their Parents and by the way it is worth observing that in a reall and true sence it may be said and proved that Masters c. are Parents to then servants as well as to their children yet with a great deale of difference In the second place it is the duty of servants to be obedient unto their Maners c. This duty hath some affinity with the former for if servants do not readily obey their Masters they cannot honour them they rather vilifie them and expose them to contempt and disgrace there are many Scripture texts that offer themselves to confirme this truth Servants be obedient to your Masters according to the flesh Eph. 6.5 Servants obey in all things your Masters according to the flesh Col 3.22 Exhort servants saith Paul to be obedient to their Masters in all things not answering againe Tit. 2.9 The Apostle Peter doth further presse this duty Servants saith he be subject to your Masters with all feare not only to the good and gentle but also to the froward 1 Pet. 2.18 From all these places you may see this duty hath the Word of God for its foundation The Centurion which we read of in the Gospell had choice servants for their readinesse to obey him for he tels Christ that if he bid one go he went and if another come he came and if he bid his servant do this he did it we must not doubt of the truth of what he said though he spake those things to illustrate and set forth the power of Christ over all sicknesses and all things for he doth acknowledge that that sicknesse that had arrested his servant was the servant of Christ that as it did afflict his servant when Christ commanded it so to do so it must leave his servant and depart when Christ should require the same Mat 8.8 9. It were much to be wish'd that every Master had such a servant or such servants as this Centurion had there would be more quietnesse in Families and better successe in all their imployments than now there is But many servants in our times will go and come at their owne pleasures and do what is good in their owne eyes Their Masters must be subject to them and not they to their Masters but such servants will be the greatest losers at last Marke what the Apostle saith Obey them that have the rule over you and submit your selves for they watch for your soules as they that must give an account that they may do it with joy and not with griefe for that is unprofitable to you Heb. 13.17 which is an exhortation in generall yet it concernes servants in speciall Servants must not do any thing contrary to their Masters minds though they give no particular command to the contrary Elisha did not command his servant Gehazi not to go after Naaman to receive a gratuity yet he went and did receive a Talent of Silver and two changes of rayment of him but he could not crack of his profit as we say for he had the plague of Leprosie with them into the bargaine 2 Kings 5.20 22 24 25 26 27. Can any man with any shew of reason conceive that this example of disobedience in Gehazi to his Master and of the severe hand of God on him for it doth stand upon Record for nothing Whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning Rom. 15.4 And this was written to terrifie rebellious and disobedient servants whereof the world is full but gratious servants will learne and practice better The third duty of servants to their Masters In the third and last place it is the duty of servants to their Masters to shew all diligence fidelity and faithfulnesse in the discharging their businesses and answering the trust committed to them and that as in the presence of God When the Apostle in that place of Eph. 7.5 9. which we made use of before had exhorted servants to be obedient to their Masters according to the flesh with feare and trembling in singlenesse of heart as to Christ he addes Not with eye-service as men pleasers but as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart the very same you find in Col. 3.22 In Tit. 2.9 10. Exhort servants saith the Apostle to be obedient to their Masters not purloyning but shewing all good fidelity that they may adorne the doctrine of God When servants serve their Masters not with eye-service but with all faithfulnesse and singlenesse of heart with a good conscience they also serve Jesus Christ who will plentifully recompence the same either in temporall or spirituall blessings or in both he is a blessed servant who obeyes his Masters commands chiefly in relation to Gods injunctions such a one no doubt was the servant of Abraham and Jacob to his Father Laban and Joseph to Potiphar and after to the keeper of the prison Gen. 30.27 Chap. 39.3 ult There be divers waies and meanes by which servants must shew themselves faithfull to their Masters and Dames First by praying for them Secondly by being diligent in the dispatch of their businesse Thirdly by preserving their Estates and in helping to encrease them Fourthly by labouring to protect their persons from violence to their power And fifthly by labouring to preserve their reputations in order whereunto they must keep their secrets undisclosed and their infirmities from being published But such servants as walke in waies contrary hereunto it were incomparably better for a Christian Housholder to have them out than in his Family and indeed it were far better that such servants should lye under the cudgell of a Turkish patron than set their feet under an honest mans Table Thus we have with much brevity past through the duties which servants owe unto their Masters and Dames First they must labour to honour them Secondly they must submit to them and obey them Thirdly and lastly they must shew all diligence fidelity and faithfulnesse to them in doing their businesse and in answering the trust committed to them Now to come to a full period of all and conclude we shall endeavour to make some application of that which hath been before laid down by way of duty Use 1 In the first place this may serve for just reproofe to most men in our times who do thrust themselves into the honourable Estate of Marriage without any consideration at all as if it were an estate fit for every man that will to enter into Truly I do exceedingly like those sweet expressions in the Preface to the ancient Forme of Marriage in the Church of England where having affirmed the Estate of Marriage to be honourable
man to be alone verse 18. which accordingly he did for he made woman of a rib taken out of a man verse 22. which Adam ownes peculiarly v. 23. Therefore the Lord joynes them together in Marriage and so makes them one flesh v. 24. And then institutes Marriage to be an Ordinance in his Church to the end of the world and saith a man shall forsake Father and Mother and cleave unto his Wife for they twaine shall be one flesh Which Institution of Marriage our Saviour repeats in Matth 1â— 5 also in Marke 10.7 And the Apostle saith Marriage is honourable among all men and the bed undefiled Heb. 13.4 From all which places there is a full confirmation that God and that in Mans Innocency did ordaine Matrimony and that Matrimony is an holy Ordinance of God From which as hath been premised it doth necessarily follow that they deserve to lie under abundance of just reproofe that either speake contemptibly of or any other waies do abuse this holy Ordinance of the Lord but this but by the way Marriage we say is an holy Ordinance of God and if it were entred into according to Divine directions and used in a holy manner it would be as we may say a Heaven upon Earth full of all outward joy Nay an help being sanctified of God to further us in the way to the fruition of glory in Heaven hereafter But since the fall of Adam from the state of Innocency such is the accursed deprivation of his Posterity that out of those things which are most Excellently good in themselves they will with the Spider suck out venomous poyson to their owne destruction And indeed from men and womens unlawfull entring into this otherwise blessed state of Life and their unholy use of it doth spring first dishonour to God who did Institute Marriage Secondly accessarinesse to the sin of those that contemne the Ordinance and are afraid to enjoy it rather chusing an uncleane and beastly life And lastly an occasion of others rash and inconsiderate running into this estate to the ruine of themselves and Posterity and the encrease of many poore Families to the great prejudice of Church and Common-wealth and divers other evils are hence produced Four things to be considered of before Marriage In the next place we shall by Gods assistance come to propose for preventing evill and procuring good in the estate of Marriage three things very necessary if not of absolute necessity for every man to consider of and that very seriously before Marriage as directions about entring into that estate Yea and a fourth consideration to be minded in the theory before hand too though the practique part thereof must be duly performed after words even in the injoyment of the Marriage condition First before a man seeke to enjoy the honourable estate of Marriage he must consider what calling he hath to change his life Secondly what ends he ought to propound to himselfe in desiring such change Thirdly what meanes he is to use to obtain his desires Lastly he must before Marriage labour to be throughly instructed in the duties that Married persons owe each to other and both to their Families as they consist both of Children and Servants First before any man labour to enjoy the marriage condition he must clearely see he hath a lawfull calling thereto if it be demanded How shall a man know that I answer Thou maiest know it first by thy fitnesse for that condition Secondly by thy unfitnesse for a single life If it be againe demanded how may a man know when he is fit to enter into the marriage condition I answer There is a threefold fitnesse which every man must have in some competent measure before he use meanes to change his single life for the Marriage estate First spiritual gifts Secondly fitnesse of Age Thirdly fitnesse of Estate or outward abilitie for such a condition But if it be againe demanded what need is there of spirituall gifts in such as enter the Marriage estate I answer there is need yea such great need of them that where they are not in some good measure there is no fitnesse for Marriage for When a man enters into that estate he becomes the Husband of a Wife and in process of time the Father of Children and the Master of Servants and these soules are committed to his Charge and God hath made him a Watchman over them Now if soules be not well Governed by such as have the Charge of them they will go astray if not lost for ever and if they receive prejudice through thy inâ—bility or neglect God will require their bloud â—t thy hands Consider that dreadfull threatning Ezek. 33.8 I assure thee it will reach full home in this case Now I demand of thee how wilt thou or how canst thou governe soules without spirituall gifts See then the necessity of them and labour for them before hand But if any do yet againe demand what spirituall gifts are requisite to enable a man to governe the soules of such as are committed to him I answer The first spirituall gift requisite to Governors The first spirituall gift necessary as before said is Divine knowledge A man had not need to be an Ignorant lot that is to governe others it cannot but be supposed that in the best Families there are some know nothing of Jesus Christ now our Saviour tels us that if the blind lead the blind both fall into the ditch Mat. 15.14 Peter doth require Knowledge in Husbands 1 Pet. 3.17 Knowledge is of great use if it be but in the managing some outward calling it is of much more use in spirituall imployments David had much knowledge Psal 119.99 and he doth well improve it Psal 34.11 to teach and instruct his Children God complaines his People were destroyed for want of knowledge Hoâ— 4.6 Truly Beloved those poore soules that live in a Family where the Master is ignorant cannot gaine knowledge in such a Family Abraham did teach his Children and Servants which he could not do without knowledge Gen. 18.19 Joshuah will himselfe and his Family feare the Lord so that doubtlesse himselfe was a very knowing Christian Beloved every Christian is as well a Prophet in his own house to teach as a King to rule or as a Priest to offer the sacrifice of prayer to God Private Christians may observing due rules exercise their gifts in their Families when it is most notorious presumption to do it in publike but how can they that have no gifts exercise any besides a Family is a Society and if Godly a Church Now in all societies or Churches there must be Discipline exercised and good Government maintained as the Apostle doth imply 1 Tim. 3 5. Now an ignorant Housholder is fitter to be governed by others than be a Governor I desire to mention it to the shame of such as are Ignorant I mean such as are wholly ignorant of the duties of a Master of a Family and
consider of before Marriage namely the duties that both Husband and Wife do owe unto their Family in relation to both Children and Servants Which because most of these duties concerne both Husband and VVife we shall endeavour to handle them together for brevities sake yet make some distinction that they may both take notice of their duties where distinction is to be made The first duty that both Husband and VVife do owe unto their Family The first duty of Governours to thâ—ir Family is to Catechise and instruct their Children and Servants in the knowledge of God and feare of his Name This duty doth chiefly belong to the Husband yet in his absence it doth properly concerne his wife likewise Now the Great God doth not only enjoyne this duty upon the Children of Israel but doth much inculcate the same Deut. 4 6. Take heed to thy selfe diligently lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seene and lest they depart from thy heart all the daies of thy life but thou shalt teach them thy Sons and thy Sons Sons Then againe Deut. 6. 6.7 These words which I command thee this day shall be in thy heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy Children c. Yet further Deut. 11.19 Ye shall lay up these my words in your hearts and in your soules and bind them for a signe upon your hands that they may be as frontlets between your eyes and ye shall teach them your Children c. The Apostle requires the same duty of Parents Eph. 6.4 Ye Parents provoke not your Children to wrath but bring them up in instruction and information of the Lord. Solomon exhorts us to the same duty Prov. 22 6. Traine up a Child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Now in Scripture you shall find this duty of teaching and instructing Children and Servants was frequently performed by the godly first see it in the practice of Abraham Gen. 18.19 Further view it in the resolution of Joshuah Josh 24 15 Also in the care of David both in 1 Chron. 28.9 and in Psal 34.11 And can we conceive that Corâ—elâ—us did neglect this duty who feared God with all his houshold Acts 10.2 Or that any of those holy men did omit this duty whose houses were Churches Rom. 16. â— Col. 4.15 Phil. 2. If we should so think we give ground enough for others to conclude we are very uncharitable Besides if the judgement of Ancient and Moderne Divines in relation to this truth be of force with you to confirme you herein you must then be satisfied that it is the duty of Parents and Governours of Families to take much paines to teach and instruct their Children and Servants to feare and serve the Lord Or else what meane all their Orthodoxe forms of Catechisme to yield help to consciencious Christians in the discharge of this duty of which there be many extant blessed be the Lord have been in ages past Doubtless you must be convinced that it is your duty only if you know these things blessed are you if you do them The second duâ—â— of Goverâ—â—urs of 〈◊〉 â—s Joh. 13.17 The second duty that both man and wife do owe unto their Children and Servants is to pray with them and for them Ye have seen but now that Parents must take paines to teach and instruct their Children and Servants in the knowledge of God But what successe can there be expected as the blessed fruit of such a duty without prayer with and for them Paul may plant and Apollos may water but God giveth the encrease 1 Cor. 3.6 But this encrease must be humbly sought of God by Prayer There is a spirit of Indotionablenesse in all by nature but it doth abound many times in some Children and Servants I will instruct and teach thee saith David in the way thou shalt go I will guid thee with mine eye Psal 32.8 Then instantly adds in the very next verse Be ye not as the horse or Mule which have no understanding c. There is a great deale of ignorance and blockish stupidity in all sorts of persons and therefore in Children and Servants which none but God can take away it was God that opened the heart of Lydia that she attended to the things that were spoken of Paul Acts 16.14 Therefore there is great need to pray unto God to take away all obstacles that may obstruct the edification of thy Family in saving knowledge and Grace or else thou maiest have small hopes of doing them any good by all thy other paines in the discharging thy duties Mind the imprecation of Jeremy Poure out thy wrath saith he upon the Heathen and upon the Families that call not on thy Name Jer. 10.25 Holy Job was very conscientious in this duty of prayer for his Job 1.15 He offereth burnt Offerings to God in relation to his Sons and Daughters with which duty the Learned do conclude he offered Prayer and of that there can be no doubt because when he offered burnt Offerings for his three Friends he also prayed for them Job 42.7 8 10. David he praies for Solomon 1 Chron. 29.19 And can any with reason conclude that he did not pray for his other Children upon all Occasions A very grosse absurdity it were so to do Certainly we may desist from further prosecution of this point as to Information that it is the duty of Parents to pray with and for their Children and Servants because all men will confesse it but for their neglect of it we shall by the help of God in due place labour to meet with them by just reproofe But for such as are godly Children and Servants who take notice of the extreame remissenesse of their Parents and Masters in performing this demonstrating evidently that they are Christians by praying for them I exhort that they would themselves go to God in secret to beg of him to open the eyes of such Governours to see with godly sorrow this their abominable sin and to give them grace to reforme it lest such Governour of Families sinke into the bottomlesse pit oâ— hell for it to all Eternity The third duty of Governours of Families In the third place it is the duty of Parenâ— and Governours of Families to labour to waâ— before their Children and Servants in all holy and religious waies and to be very circumspect herein We have taken some notice that it is the duty of such Governours to teach those that are under their government the knowledge of God and to informe them in the waies of his feare Now if this be done only by precept and not by example there is small hope of doing them any good for a man may teach his Child or Servant the way to heaven by Precept and the way to hell by bad example the leaders of this people cause them to â—erre and they that are led of them are destroyed saith the Prophet Isa
9 16. It is to no â—nd to teach the first way if ye neglect the second or at least to little purpose The Scribes and Pharisees saith Christ sit in Moses chaire whatsoever they bid you observe that observe and do but after their doings do not for they say and do not Mat. 23.2 3. So if Parents c. â—e like them in teaching and in practice too well they may lead them to sin by their examples but if they lead them to good it will be very rare for the evill examples of Superiours are of great force to lead the Inferiours â—nto vile waies and this daily experience will â—eare witnesse to If Parents and Masters be given over to swearing Blaspheming lying â—runkenness uncleannesse hating of God his waies and people or to any other sin of such â—ves many times are their Children and Serâ—ants for of this take speciall notice that evill â—xamples are of a far more drawing nature for Imitation than good are hopefull for Reformation You that are Governours if you tread in filth but over shooes may occasion those that are under you to wade over their boot tops They that pervert soules in any kind may make them that are under their charge seven fold more the children of hell than themselves Good men are easily misled by bad examples Peter gives a bad example Gal. 2.11 12. then in ver 13. the Jewes and Barnabas are corrupted by it Now if such men may be so abused by bad examples there is much more cause of feare of those who deserve no good repute The fourth duty of Governours of Families Now in the fourth and last place it is the duty of Parents and Masters to their Children and Servants to labour to restraine them from walking in scandalous and evill waies and this to do betimes for since the fall of Adam there is in all his posterity such a cursed depravity that there remaines no principles of good in them to further the soule in gracious waies the mind is stuft with ignorance the will is perverse and all the Affections are out of order Now the will is the chiefe Agitator of all evillâ— and opposer of good the will should be guided by a rectified understanding but it rebels against it or else how comes it to passe that a man is violently carried to sin against conscience and against an inlightened judgement as it is often seen yet this is a truth that so far forth as the will is regenerate it desires to walke closely with God and not tâ— deviate from his Commandements and thâ— is the Will our Saviour speakes of that was in his Disciples when they were with him in the time of his Agony though he spake more particularly to Peter The spirit is willing or ready but the flesh is weake Mat. 26.41 And of this Will the Apostle speakes of Rom. 7.18 To will is present with me but this is not the will we speake of there must be no restrictions laid on this but we must rather labour after maintaining the liberty of it but it is the perverse wils of Children and Servants that their Superiours must labour to check and bridle A child set at liberty maketh his mother ashamed Prov. 29.15 But it may be here demanded What meanes must be used by Superiours to restraine Inferiours from walking in scandalous waies And for curbing the perverse wils of such as God hath set under them to be governed by them I answer First loving Admonitions and sweet endeavours to convince them of their evill waies only this I must premise that what course is to be taken with Church Members upon their uneven walking must in some particulars of them be taken with Domestique Members The Apostle speakes to the believing Romans of his confidence of their abilities to admonish one another Rom. 15.14 And can we conceive that they did not improve those abilities upon occasions when Brethren did offend Sure we cannot Now this way of admonition God himselfe takes with Cain Gen. 4.7 And Jesus Christ in Mat. 18.15 prescribes this ruleâ— very full is the Apostle in 1 Thes 5.14 Now we exhort you Brethren warne them that are unruly be patient towards all men So in 2 Tim. 2.25 In meeknesse instructing those that oppose themselves if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledgement of the truth and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the Devill Now when thou dost thus admonish the offender or offenders under thy charge tell him or them that by such courses they sin against God where lay down Scripture proofe that they may be convinced Secondly that they sin against their own souls Thirdly That they do provoke God to execute upon them all judgements spirituall temporal and eternall and in these two last particulars labour to amaze them with terrour and dread But if this gentle meanes will not prevaile with them thou must sharpely reprove them that they may be sound in the faith Tit. 1.15 And this sharpnesse may be included in that phrase in Jud. 23. pulling them out of the fire So Lev. 19.17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart but thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy Neighbour and not suffer sin upon him But if this meanes also produce no amendment then in the last place thou must make use of the ordinance of Correction For foolishnesse is bound up in the heart of a Child but the rod of correction will drive it away Prov. 22 15. And it may so be too that a servant will not be corrected with words Prov. 29.19 And yet certainly God would have them reformed too But take notice of this also that the procrastination or putting off of Correction of your Children will but fit them to be incorrigible the bowing trees whilst they are young is a similitude often on this occasion made use of but too seldome practised Prov. 13.24 He that spareth his Rod hateth his Son but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes Prov. 23.23 24. With-hold not Correction from the Child for if thou beat him with the Rod he shall not dye thou shalt beat him with the Rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell But in making use of this Ordinance of Correction whether of Children or Servants observe with care these three things First a fit time Secondly that your ends be good and lastly that it be in a right manner First for a fit time which time is when the heat of Passion is over for we must be just in the measure of Correction which we cannot be if Passion have command Passion may provoke us to play the Tyrants and to make the party corrected despised in our eyes Deut. 25.3 And that will dishearten and deject them In the second place propose a right end in correcting any under your charge you must not give correction to manifest your Authority or to be Revenged on them for crossing you but sincerely to kill sinne in them to subdue
punishment for the plagues and vengeance of God do follow sin as the thread doth the needle And here we might run in Infinitum in making this clear from Scripture demonstrations some we shall produce and but a few to what we might Read Deut. 28. the whole Chapter consider Lam. 3.39 also 2 Chron 36.14 15 16. and Hos 4.1 2 3 5. lastly Mat. 23.37 38. Thus for the first Use In the second place it may serve for just reproofe Use 2 and to speake terrour and horrour to the consciences of all Parents and Masters who are guilty of the cursed neglect of the duties before-mentioned which they owe unto their Children and Servants in reference to the good of their soules You have seene that by this meanes you are accessary to the overflowing enormities of every kind and horrid crimes of the times and are the meritorious cause of the inundation of the miseries that is now by the hand of the all-just God fallen upon us in these our daies which without infinite mercy will bury every man and mothers Child in their own justly-deserved ruine and hast thou whosoever thou art a heart of stone insensible of thy own condition Art thou worse than a Stoick Hast thou like Jonah set the sea of the world all in a raging And art thou fast asleep Ah poore soule thy condition is to be lamented with teares of bloud both in regard of thy guilt and also of thy punishment thou art guilty first of the sins of thy Family and by their bad examples of the sins of whole Townes Cities Counties and of the whole Nation thou art guilty of the precious bloud of their soules thou hast sent soules to hell by Millions and Legions thou hast cramm'd and ramm'd soules into hell Oh thou unmercilesse Canniball what hast thou done Hast thou married a wife to send her to Hell Hast thou begot Children to make them fewell for Hell Hast thou hired Servants to thrust them head and shoulder as we say into Hell Ah thou blood-hound thou hell-hound dost thou lye under so much guilt and yet hast an Adamantine soule Oh how infinitely miserable art thou by reason of sin But that is not all yet I must confess the evill of sin is worse than the evill of punishment thou art lyable to undergo more punishment than men or Angels can conceive much lesse acquaint thee with He that shall cut the throat or otherwise murther but one man the Laws of men will both sentence him to and execute death on him how then shalt thou escape at the Bar of Gods Tribunall for thy cutting the throats of such multitudes of multitudes of poore precious soules one whereof is worth more than worlds of treasure Dost thou thinke that the Judge of all the World will not do right Gen. 28.25 Foster not in â—hy selfe such a thought for God will araigne â—hee sentence doome and damne thee to Hell â—t the Bar of his terrible Tribunall seat from whence thou must go pinion'd mancled and â—ettered to hell guarded with the infernall â—rew of devils thy companions in sin and torment and at thy first entrance into that pit of â—erdition thou shalt rouze up all the damned Ghosts to make way for thee read that place â—a 14.9 it may make thy loines to tremble â—hy knees to smite one against another and the â—aire of thy head to stand on end and for such â—f thy relations to whom God gave no repenâ—ance Oh how will they salute thee and upâ—raid thee and say here is my cursed Husband â—ill thy Wife say Oh here is my cursed Faâ—her saies thy poore Children and say the â—ervants here is my cursed Master Oh say â—hey all had he instructed us in the waies of God prayed with us and for us lived a holy â—fe for an example to us and used all meanes â—reclaime us from our evill waies though he â—ad beat us black and blew and given us stripes within the bowels of the belly Prov. 20.30 â— look the old Translation he might have saâ—ed us from hence but now we are irrecoveâ—ably lost for ever After all which down thou â—nkest with mountaines of sins and curses into â—he bottomlesse pit when the hatches of hell â—hall be shut upon thee and then thou shalt be â—ormented with a vengeance with forked Inâ—â—ruments with iron teeth with Serpents and Scorpions and the biting and gnawing of the worme of conscience then thou shalt not have one drop of water to coole thy tongue nor one breath of aire to refresh thee with and that which will aggravate thy misery will be this that the time of thy torments in hell will be Millions of Millions of yeares nay it will be beyond time even all time for ever and for evermore and therefore well said a Reverend Moderne Divine that this word ever kils the heart Thus much likewise for the use of reproofe and terrour Use 3 In the third place this may be for a use of Lamentation to bewaile that spirit of Antipathy that is almost in all men of all Estates and conditions against the performance of Religious Family duties for there is a spirit of opposition rising in the hearts of men and women too against not only the duties before mentioned but also against the persons of those who desire conscientiously to discharge them they will labour to cast a damp on the spirits of such persons by speaking evill of this way of God and by belching out with their black mouth all the hellish filth and foame that possible they can They will scoffe at the people of God nickname them raile at them and revile them even for their care and paines to save the soules of such whom the great God hath committed to their charge But know that to speake against the performance of any duty that God requires is to speake against God himselfe who requires obedience thereunto and what is that but blasphemy in a high degree for hereby thou dost derogate from the infinite wisdome of God and arrogate to thy own but know thou that the foolishness of God is wiser than men 1 Cor. 1.25 Yet mistake not the Apostle as if he did grant that in God there were a deficiency in understanding for that cannot be for if God were imperfect in any one of his Attributes it would make the duty it selfe null and so God could not have an essentiall being but the Apostle speakes after the manner of men as if he did grant that which must not be granted by way of supposition yet saith he that deficiency or that foolishnesse which foolish and wicked men thinke to be in God is wiser than all the Wit parts and understanding that the wisest men in the world have What a degenerate Creature then art thou whosoever thou art that once darest enter the lists of dispute against thy Creator as thou dost that censurest such as obey God in any kind to be fooles and ridiculous and absurd fellows for that if
not worse is thy language I am certaine that by this meanes thou commest within the lists of that woe Isa 5.20 Woe unto them who call evill good and good evill c. Thou condemnest Gods waies and justifiest thy own waies Let men walke in the waies â—o get wealth or pleasure or carnall profit or worldly honour or run apace in the high road â—o hell These ungodly persons before spoken of will not dishearten them but rather encourage them by keeping company with them but let any men or women whose hearts God hath warmed with zeale for his glory and tender love to such poore soules as are under them let them but lend them a little finger to guide them or but a small sparke of light to conduct them by in the way to heaven then they are in their Bedlam-fits not knowing how to contain themselves within the bounds of civility But these men have either never learned or soon forgotten that place of our Saviour The Kingdom of heaven suffereth violence and the violent take it by force Mat. 11.12 and other places Luk. 13.24 Heb. 12.14 Luk. 11.52 Such opposite spirited men and women as these will by no meanes endure that any Child or Friend of theirs shall come within the wals of a godly Family to live in for feare they should become Puritans as they call them but to conclude this Point or Use let me tell them that without abundance of repentance for and reformation of this sin they shall have as large a share if not more of those inconceivable miseries which are imperfectly mentioned in the use of reproofe and terrour as the portion of such as do any way neglect the performance of those duties they owe unto Children and Servants and it may be they shall have a larger share than the others because for ought can be known such scoffing Ishmaels as these have been a special cause of hindring many from the performance of their duties to their Family-relations which otherwise would have set themselves to the discharge of those duties The use in the last place may be for exhortation Use 4 to stir up Christian Parents and Masters First to labour to be well acquainted with those duties which they owe unto their Children and Servants And then to set themselves with much diligence paines and care to the performance of them The duties have been laid down and fully demonstrated from divers Scriptures there hath been some Illustrations and Amplifications of them and divers undeniable reasons to urge the performance of them Now what shall I say This paines as in order to thee is lost if thou sit still and come not forth to the performance of them When David had made a large preparation for building the House of God in Jerusalem having got together abundance of materials for that Magnificent Worke what saith he to his Son Solomon Arise saith he therefore and be doing and the Lord be with thee 1 Chro. 22.16 Now if without offence I might allude to to this I may say I have endeavoured as God hath graciously enabled me to prepare in some poore measure some materials to help thee to â—uild God a temple or Church in his own Family unto which I desire thou maiest adde in thy retired Meditations Now I also say to thee arise and be doing and the Lord be with â—hee Thou wilt say thou art a poore weake creature thy knowledge is little and thy parts â—re small let me advise thee to gaine good formes of Catechisme be studious in them be diligent to improve them for the good of all under thee by this meanes if thou be consciencious indeed and seeke to approve thy selfe to God in thy discharge of these duties and abundantly desirest to yield furtherance to the soules of thy Wife Children and Servants By this meanes I say thou shalt find that in teaching others thy owne knowledge shall encrease and thou hast a promise from the mouth of Christ for this that to him that hath more shall be given and he shall have in abundance Mat 13.12 We have a good proverbe applicable here that is Use legs and have legs and thou saiest thy parts are weake if thou canst not pray with thy Family but in a very weake manner then I say pray to God to teach thee to pray pray in secret for both the spirit and gift of prayer that thou maiest be able to Performe it in thy Family but beware thou set not too high a rate on the gift of prayer for it often goes alone without the Spirit thou wert better of the two have the Spirit of Prayer than the gift but both together doth best especially in relation to edifying others Simon Magus desired to purchase a power to give the Holy Ghost to whom he pleased his ends were base as well as his tender vile he did aime as good Divines thinke at popular applause besides a cursed gaine Truly I much feare popular applause and vaine ostentation is too too much the aime of some in our Times where I see a gift of prayer yea and of preaching too and a spirit of predominant pride I must take the liberty to think of such a man as I do apprehend cleare ground for This last passage I do insert for this end principally to take off the inordinate affections of any poore soule from the gift of prayer sincerity in all thy walkings with God will comfort thee in the midst of all defects and what knowest thou deare Christian but God will joine his strength with thy weaknesse and make thee an instrument of begetting soules to God as well as bodies and so make thee in a sense a spirituall Father as well as a bodily and enable thee at the last day to say to God Behold here am I and the Children whom thou hast given me where we may allude to that which the Apostle applies and makes proper to Christ Heb. 2.13 Now in the last place for it deserves no other by thy religious care to further thy Children and Servants in the waies of God thou maiest make such Children and Servants very profitable to thee in outward respects Paul takes notice that Onesimus was no profitable servant to his Master when he was gracelesse but after he was converted he tels Philemon that now he was profitable Phil. 11. There is much crying out in the world and not without cause against stubborne disobedient and undutifull Children and against refractory and unprofitable Servants But may not the neglect of Parents and Masters about making their Children in the use of meanes Gods Children and their Servants by the foresaid meanes the servants of God may not I say this be a speciall cause of all this confusion doubtlesse yea for it is just with God that when thou wilt not make thy Children and Servants to answer Gods ends at least so far as possible thou maiest that thy owne should be wholly frustrate Thus much for the uses Beloved be pleased to
are not only members of the visible but of the Invisible Church of Christ and that they may do this remember that I said they must feare the Lord themselves and they must have a â—ively faith or else all the faith and holinesse of their Parents at a further or nearer distance will stand them in no stead in relation to spirituall advantages But as for outward blessings â—ll the Children of the faithfull may have the greater portion of them for their faithfull Parents sake on both sides I say on the Mothers side as well as on the Fathers I have been young saith David but now am old yet never saw the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread Psal 3.7.25 Then in the 26 ver He is ever mercifull and lendeth and his seed is blessed Againe if thy wife be of the seed of the faithfull then both she and her Children are interested into the benefit of their Fore fathers prayers we meane in this place only for outward things Abraham praies unto God for Ishmael Oh saith he that Ishmael might live in thy sight Gen 17.18 Then in the 20. v. God answereth him As for Ishmael saith God I have heard thee Behold I have blessed him and will make him fruitfull twelve Princes shall he beget and I will make him a great Nation Beloved you may here note That not only Ismael himselfe shall have the benefit of Abrahams prayers but his seed also for they should be Princes and indeed a great Nation and yet they were Abrahams seed only according to the flesh but had they been his spirituall seed too these mercies might have been sanctified to them and so made the greater Indeed the Prayers of the righteous availe much Jam. 5.16 Lastly as thou desirest to have comfort in thy Wives kindred thou must labour to chuse her as one springing from the stock of the faithfull for as thou dost marry her to be thy wife so thou dost marry her kindred as I may say to be thy kindred And what comfort canst thou have when thou art of a Heavenly frame of spirit thy selfe to have society and communion with a carnall and irreligious kindred Surely but little So much also for this fift particular The sixth qualification which is necessary to be look'd after in the choise of a Wife is The sixth qualificatiâ—n c. â— a competent outward Estate And herein I might save my labour to put this down for a direction to some for it is the first thing nay the all in all their hearts are affected with except the Amorous reflectings of their wanton eyes on some paint and Features in the Face and compleatnesse of person meerly to satisfie their wanton fleshly and sensuall appetites which in this kind is unlawfull though otherwise commendable as before discussed I would have every man in a due place and with some moderation of his exorbitant affections not only look after but labour for a convenient portion with his wife in Marriage and that as he desires her to be a meet helper And first because the things of this life are the good Creatures of God they are blessings nay singular blessings when sanctified to us of speciall use to us whilest we are in this our Pilgrimage to carry us through the world without distractions and worldly encumbrances that we may with the more enlargednesse of heart walke with our God in a holy Conversation and that with cheerefulnesse Only we had need take great heed we trust not in uncertaine Riches but in the living God 1 Tim. 6 17. and that if Riches encrease we set not our hearts upon them Psal 62.10 I say we have need to prevent these evils because all blessings both spirituall and temporall are sanctified to us but in part Againe in the second place it is lawfull for a man to mind a portion with his Wife because it is the duty of Parents to lay up portions for to give portions to their Children 2 Cor. 12.14 The Apostle laies it down positively that it is the duty of Parents to lay up for their Children though he apply the same in a spirituall sense Job gave his Daughters Inheritance among their Brethren Job 42.15 Elkanab gives unto his Sons and Daughters Portions 1 Sam. 1.4 When Galeb bestows his Daughter in Marriage to Othniel he gave him a portion with her over a Southland and after on her demand the upper and nether springs Judg. 1.13.15 In the third and last place a man may looke at portion with a wife because he cannot live at so low a rate when he is married as he could when he was a single man and his wife doth encrease or help to encrease this his Charge therefore there is all the reason in the world she should bring some additionall maintenance For Money answereth all things saith Solomon Eccl. 10.19 We have a Proverbe that Money will keep love warme I must confesse that it may be true thus that as Money answereth all things as Solomon hath before said so it takes away all distractions and perturbations from the spirit and so leaves a man free with the greater torrent of love to run into the bosome of his wife and in a Reciprocall way to receive the like from her again But Beloved I beseech thee beware of wedding a purse of Money I have acquainted thee with the casualties and dangers that may overtake those that make wealth the Object of their love And let me tell thee whoever thou art that art Muck-warme thou maiest feare that all the happinesse thou wilt meet with in thy choise of a Wife will be confin'd in a purse or in a bag of trash for so is the gold of Ophir in comparison of a vertuous wife nay her price is farre above riches Pro. 31.10 Therefore if God hath lent thee a sufficient outward Estate to carry the charge of Marriage about withall then though it may be lawfull for thee to look at some portion with a yoke-fellow and thou maiest thankefully receive what God hath provided for thee yet if the portion be but small nay if none at all but spirituall vertues even the riches of the mind let in such a case the thoughts of riches pass and accept of the woman with her inward treasure and as Mordecai said unto Hoster in another case Who knoweth whether thou art come to the Kingdome for such a time as this Hos 4.14 So I say unto thee who knoweth but that God hath given thee thy wealth for such a time as this even to enlarge the outward comfortable living of such a precious woman who spiritually doth live in the bosome of Jesus Christ We shall desist from further prosecution of this sixth qualification The seventh qualification in a woman and proceed to the next The seventh qualification or necessary engredient to make a woman a meet helper is frugality or good Housewifery and this doth in a fit place succeed the last foregoing qualification
of thy future tranquillity glory and blisse at the right hand of thy dearest Saviour in Heaven to all Eternity hereafter In the sixth place The sixth duty of the Husband to his Wife it is the duty of the Husband to his wife to beare with her infirmities We that are strong ought saith the Apostle to beare the infirmities of the weake Rom. 15.1 And Peter in 1 Pet. 3.7 saith the woman is the weaker vessell Ergo A man ought to beare with the Infirmities of his wife But the question is what faults may be said to be Infirmities to be borne with in any in generall and in the woman in particular I answer these and such like as forgetfulnesse of some materiall businesse some unusuall neglect of duty to the Husband Children or Servants some wasting and spoyling of the Creature contrary to Custome formerly or purpose then or some not ordinary breakin gs forth into extravagant and exorbitant passions heat and Choler of the last kind we shall find two very sad presidents from two gracious women and of two patterns of admirable patience in their Husbands The first is the extreame but groundlesse passion of Sarah formerly Sarai raised against her Husband Abraham Gen. 16 2 3.4 5 6. we shall abbreviate the Divine History Sarai was barren and Aged she despaires of being naturall mother to any Children who did therefore desire to be the reputed mother of Children she makes a motion such a one as it was unto her Husband to go in to her Maid Hagar Abraham hearkens to her voice and doth it Hagar conceives then is elevated in herselfe and casts off due honour from her Mistris which she discerning is presently full of passion and vents it very uncivilly into the bosome of her Husband and speakes thus that is My wrong be upon thee I gave thee my maid into thy bosome and when she saw that she had conceived I was despised in her eyes thâ— Lord judge betweene me and thee Well Saraâ— what 's the matter Here is a great complaint out who hath done thee the wrong What Abram No he poore man is innocent in comparison of thy selfe what a false charge iâ— here drawn up against Abram What clamor upon it What appeales to God about it But how doth Abram demeane himselfe in the condition Truly singularly well he beats wiâ— this infirmity in his wife he knew this wâ— not the frame and temper of her spirit anâ— therefore answers very mildly and saith to be behold thy Maid is in thy hand do to her at pleaseth thee The second sad president as beforesaid is that of the carraige of Zipporah to her husband Moses Ex. 4.19 20 21 25 26 Moses being commanded by God to leave the land of Midian and to returne into Egypt about the delivering of the Children of Israel out of bondage he takes his Wife and Sons and the Rod of God in his hand and begins his journey but be having neglected the observation of a speciall Ordinance of God viz. the circumcising of his Son God saith the Text met him in the Inne and sought to kill him where note by the way that it is a dangerous thing for a man to take a journey though upon as lawfull an occasion as can be with the neglect of a duty or the guilt of any sin lying on the conscience unrepented of Moses you see is in great danger of death and his wife knowing the cause of it takes a sharpe stone and cuts off the fore-skin of her Son and throws it at his feet with these words surely a bloudy husband art thou unto me which was a very Contemptible Contumelious uncivill and unmannerly behaviour in her yet he is silent bears with her infirmities and no doubt but he did consider there lay a sad temptation on her spirit and withall was conscientious of his own sin against God and so sweetly passeth by his wives weakness Now these infirmities which a Husband out of duty to his wife must beare with must not be publike nor giving scandall and offence to others Nay whatever they are he must take a fit opportunity to give her a sweet reproofe for such a Husband as is in a passion for his wives infirmities will make such a smoake in his house as shall disturbe all in or neare it The discretion of a man deferreth his anger and it is his glory to passe by a transgression Prov. 19.11 The seventh duty of the Husband to his Wife The seventh duty the Husband doth owe unto his Wife is due maintenance in all things both inward and outward for her comfortable bodily subsistance here both in life and livelihood for supportation of health whilest it is enjoyed and for restoration of it when decayed And this to be performed with as much dearenesse of affections and tendernesse of heart as to himselfe which duty the Apostle clearely requires husbands to performe to their wives Eph 5.28 29. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies be that loveth his wife loveth himselfe for no man ever yet hated his own flesh but cherisheth and nourisheth it even as Christ doth his Church Now we know all men will nourish their own bodies with such meat and drink and Physick with such Preservatives and Restoratives of health as is necessary And they will cherish their own body with such Apparell as may not only keep them warme in their bodies but be some delight unto their minds The same for kind and measure for quality and quantity they must allow unto their wives if it be of necessity or necessary for them which I dare presume it is almost alwaies Yet this must be granted that a man must not maintaine himselfe in any thing either for food or rayment above his ability or unbecoming his place and Calling Neither must he allow it his wife and doubtlesse no discreet wife will desire the same Beloved you have heard at large that it is the duty of the Husband to his Wife to tender the good of her soule and can any man think that the good of her body is to be neglected Truly it were absurd for any to conceit any such thing God would not have the mouth of the Oxe to be muzled when he treadeth out the Corne Deut. 25.4 and will he have the mouth of her muzled that doth draw with thee in the same yoke Surely no The Apostle saith that he is worse than an Infidell that doth not provide for his own Family 1 Tim. 5.8 Now if the whole Family must be provided for as none dare deny then much more she who in thy absence is the head of the Family and in thy own presence thy right-hand Mate VVhat encouragement can thy wife have to seek thy good when thou shalt in whole or in part neglect hers Besides when thou shalt especially with cheerefulnesse allow thy wife all due and necessary maintenance for her comfort and encouragement in this life if she
have any ingenuity of nature in her she will soone give the fruit of the same into thy bosome by a more vigorous and dexterous putting forth her utmost abilities to serve help and comfort thee in all thy various conditions but it herein thou who art her Husband art niggardly penurious and base hearted and handed towards thy wife thou maiest perhaps though it be her sin have such poore returnes that thou shalt not crack of thy gaines and incombs But be thou perswaded that maintenance is the wives due and be thou carefull to discharge that debt The eighth duty of the Husband to his Wife The eighth duty which the Husband doth owe unto his wife is to labour to be an Instrument under God to protect her from all injuries wrongs insolencies and contumelious abuses that any of the Sons or Daughters of Belial shall put upon her to the utmost of his power In Eph. 5.23 the Apostle tels us that the Husband is the head of his wife even as Christ is the head of his Church and he is the Saviour of his body where take notice that first this duty of a Husbands protecting his wife is implyed Secondly a president propounded to incite us to the performance of it First this duty is implyed the husband is denominated to be the head of his wife Now the head doth labour to fore-see first the danger the body is in Secondly to contrive means to prevent it And thirdly to project and contrive some meanes afterward for the removing of the evill if it fall And thus must a Husband labour to do in relation to his wife He must labour to fore-see what wrongs may fall upon his wife before-hand lest they come unawares Secondly he must wisely prevent them if he can which if he cannot then in the third place he must labour to remove them and so to ease his wife from the burthen of them Secondly here is a president propounded to incite the Husband to labour to protect his wife and that from the example of Christ himselfe Christ is the Saviour of his body the Church which is his spouse so must the husband labour to defend and protect his wife his spouse his body yet further are we to labour this to do even from the practice of very Heathens The wife of Potiphar tels a seeming faire tale but it was a most Diabolicall lye to her husband that Joseph had done her wrong and had mockt her which complaint of hers was believed by her husband Now though Joseph was choicely beloved of his Master before yet now his wrath is kindled against him and Joseph must to prison for the pretended injury Gen. 39.17 19 20. Hester had put up a complaint to Ahasuerus her husband and a just complaint too That she and her people were sold to be destroyed to be slaine and to perish The King her husband demands who he was and where he was that durst presume in his heart to do this Hester returns answer that the Adversary that had done this was that wicked Haman upon which the Kings wrath was so enkindled against him though he were his chiefe favourite that he could not be pacified untill such time as Haman was hanged Hest 7.4 5 6 10. In the ninth place it is the duty of the husband to his wife in a prudentiall way The ninth duty of the Husband to his Wife with all sweetnesse and love to labour to prevent her from an idle and unprofitable expence of time A husband in the generall should labour to make his wife a compleat Christian Now he or she that are not fit for Christian society are no compleat Christians But the Apostle commands the Thessalonians to withdraw themselves from every brother that did walke disorderly 2 Thes 3.6 Now if you would know what that sin was which is call'd a disorderly walking if you please to confer with the 10. and 11. verses you will find it was the sin of not working the sin of Idlenesse Now in this point I would not be mistaken I would have none conceive that I should thinke that it were fit for a husband to be a Task-master to his wife to set her a stint of worke and to exact it of her which was the sin of the cruell Egyptians against the Hebrews who were Gods own people Exod. 5.6 7 8. But if it be demanded what imployment is most proper for the wife to look after I answer with the mother of Solomon in the first place Prov. 21.27 she must look well to the waies of her Houshould Secondly I answer with the Apostle 1 Tim. 5.14 she must guide the house it is an excellent and well beseeming carriage in a wife to look out sharpe as we may say to prevent servants Idlenesse and wastefulness for there was never worse servants in an Age than now they must have great wages but do little worke for it they will not gather up the broken fragments that nothing be lost Joh. 6.12 Nay they will purloine Tit. 2.10 not shewing all good fidelity for they will filtch pâ—fer and steale waste and consume the estates of their Masters which might well be prevented by the industry of a carefull wife whereby her husbands estate might be preserved and livelihood maintained for him her selfe and their children for want of which care many a Family hath been brought to ruine and Children to a morsell of bread And as it is an excellent and well-beseeming carriage in a wife thus to oversee the waies of her Family so it is a very choice peece of service in her in the acceptation of her husband Againe in answer to the former demand that is What is the proper imployment of a wife to look after In the third place it is not out of a womans Calling to spend seasonable time in intimate society with her husband to quicken and enlive the affections of each other one to another But for that sin of a womans in mispending her time in an idle and letty way the husband as beforesaid should take care to prevent for idlenesse is as we say the mother of all mischiefe And I well like that speech of a grave Divine that is That the Divill hath a Commission to take up all idle persons and to imploy them in his service This shall suffice for this ninth duty of the husband to his wife and so we proceed to the tenth and last duty that the husband doth owe as beforesaid In the last place it is the duty of the husband to the wife The tenth duty of the Husband to his VVife to take care so to mannage his estate whilest opportunity serves that he may be able to leave some competent estate for her to maintaine her when God shall take him away by death if God thinke fit she shall be the surviver we have already taken notice that Parents must lay up for their Children 2 Cor. 12.14 But a mans wife should be accounted of him much dearer
saving Faith Temperance Patience Godliness Repentance unto life strength against corruptions that he may abound in every good worke that he may be an Instrument of Gods glory here and a Vessell of Mercy hereafter And in thy drawing forth and improving thy parts thus for thy Husbands spirituall advantages men and Angels shall witnesse for thee that thou hast laboured to answer one end of Gods creating of thee that is to be a meet helper to thy Husband nay the spirit of God shall attest the same to thy own soule to thy comfort here and permanent happinesse hereafter Fourthly The duty of a wife to her Husband The fourth duty of the VVife to the Husband is a comely and Christian-like subjection to him she must not contend for equality with him much lesse superiority over him but must content her selfe in the same station or condition wherein the God of wisdom or that God who is wisdome it selfe hath set her Now that this is a duty take Scripture evidence for it for I know it will not down but sticks in the throat with too too many but to a mortified Christian a Command from God is enough to sweeten that which to flesh and bloud is as bitter as gall Col. 3.8 The Apostle saith Wives submit your selves unto your own Husbands as it is fit in the Lord. So Eph. 5.22 Wives submit your selves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord where marke the diversity of termes In the former place it is Wives submit c. as it is fit in the Lord But in this latter Wives submit c. as unto the Lord For some women may say we are willing to submit our selves to our own Husbands as it is fit in the Lord But what submission may be said to be fit in the Lord I answer That submission is fit in the Lord that hath respect to any Command the Husband shall lay on his wife which is grounded upon Scripture Precepts or Presidents Secondly That submission of Wives to their Husbands is fit in the Lord which is not forbidden in Scripture neither expresly nor implicitely neither plainely nor by necessary consequence but to answer such as would pretend scrupulosity when they intend only the discharging of themselves from all submission to their Husbands let them ruminate or chew the end upon the last terme where Wives are commanded to submit to their own Husbands as unto the Lord and see what they can gather from those words as a ground to satisfie their consciences for their non-submission Now because the Holy Ghost did foresee that women nay some good women would not fall down before this truth but endeavour to maintaine that rotten and unsound maxime viz. that the Wife is the Husbands equall therefore doth the Spirit of God in Eph. 5.23 which was last quoted lay down an undeniable reason why Wives should submit to their Husbands For saith he the Husband is the head of his Wife as Christ is the head of his Church And then in ver 24. the Spirit of God comes to a Corrollary or Conclusion thus Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ so let the Wives be unto their own Husbands in every thing Now the reason here brought for the end beforesaid stands thus That as the Church doth submit to Christs Authority he being her head so must the wife submit to the Authority of her husband because he is the head likewise and that he is so consider also that of the Apostle in 1 Cor. 11.3 The head of the woman is the man Now Headship implies Authority that is beyond dispute and Authority requires subjection Let every soule be subject to the higher powers whosoever resisteth the power resisteth the Ordinance of God and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation Rom. 13.1 2. And none can deny but that Headship Authority and power is one and the same Yet further concerning this duty of the wife to her husband in relation to subjection to him mind that of the Apostle Peter in 1 Pet. 3.1 where he saith Likewise ye Wives be in subjection to your own Husbands Then in ver 6. he brings you a President for it and that from a singular woman Even as Sarai obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose Daughters you are as long as you do well Now as it is a glorious priviledge to be a Son of Abraham in a spirituall sense so it is a high honour to be a Daughter of Sarai And thou who art a Christian-woman by no meanes forget that from the originall of time God did ordaine that the Husband should rule over his Wife Gen. 3.16 Nay the very Heathens thought it fit that every man should beare rule in his own house Hester 1.20 22. But some woman may say what if my husband be a Son of Belial One who hath no grace in him who beares not the Image of God but of the Devill Must a Christian be subject to a Heathen A Saint to a Devill incarnate I answer that if thou be so match'd in the Marriage Estate then thy condition is sad and very sad and much to be lamented But still it is a cleare truth that thou must be subject to even such a Husband in all his lawfull Commands and further thou must not obey a godly husband And this the Apostle Peter in 1 Pet 3.1 2. doth hint at plainely Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own Husbands And then addes this as a reason to excite them to the performance of this duty that is That if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the Conversation of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with feare I see no cause to adde one word more to demonstrate that subjection in a wife to her husband is a duty she doth owe him But let me beseech thee that art a Husband that all the Commands thou dost lay on thy wife may be in the nature of requests and intreaties for know it that though thy wife be not equall to thee in power yet she is not so subordinate to thee as thy Children and Servants command service from them but desire thy Wife to be subservient to thee and if she have any commendable qualifications in her thou maiest be sure thou hast her heart to serve thee and therefore canst not want her hand Nay she will rejoice that at any time she hath any intimation of thy mind in any businesse that she is able to performe The fifth duty that the Wife doth owe unto her Husband is due and comly Reverence The fifth duty of the Wife to the Husband Wives must not only submit to their Husbands and obey them but they must reverence them likewise and this the Apostle doth charge them to performe Let the Wife see saith he that she reverence her Husband where observe that in the particle see there is an Emphasis it is an Emphaticall expression for it is as if he
had said be sure let the wife take diligent care of this and mind it in a speciall manner that she omit it not by any meanes to reverence her Husband Eph. 5.33 But if it be demanded how this Reverence should be performed I answer two waies in her words and in her gestures First in her words and that two waies first when she speakes to him Secondly when she speakes of him First when she speakes to him by avoiding Clamour and high language Secondly by avoiding of unnecessary repetitions and Tautologies especially if her Husband be a judicious and prudent man for take this for an undeniable truth that a man of parts cannot endure a multitude of words and large preambles Thirdly When she makes her desires known to him rather by requests than by peremptory demands yet this must be granted that a Woman may speake to her Husband in a way of intimate familiarity Lastly when she takes a fit time and place to fasten some Christian reproofe on him and then to do it with much meeknesse and tender love Secondly a woman must reverence her Husband in her words when she speakes of him to others First by giving him on all occasions that are just due praise and commendations And secondly by being ready to vindicate his reputation against all unjust aspersions Calumniations that do impeach his credit and obstruct his well-deserved Estimation in the hearts of such as are wise and godly whereby she shall not only reverence him her selfe but cause others to do the same Secondly The Wife must reverence her Husband in her Gestures and Actions First by giving him due respect before others abroad and before Children and Servants at home not behaving her selfe in a rude and uncivill way toward him as slighting his presence Secondly in leaving to him the wise and orderly government of the Family and all Domestique Discipline without contradiction Lastly and in speciall in observing his good Counsell and in following his religious and godly examples I might here take occasion to fasten a just reproofe upon many Women that are so far from reverencing their Husbands that on the contrary they are Instruments but cursed ones of much disrespect disgrace and dishonour to be call upon their Husbands by their Contumelious words to them their scandalous and contemptible words behind their backs and in their unworthy and unbeseeming gestures and actions toward them but let such women know that as they are transgressours against the Commands of God relating to the Wives duty of reverencing her Husband which is most of all so they are no gainers hereby it may be they make their Husbands good esteeme fall to the ground among the baser conditioned people but to be sure their own good names if ever they had any they make to stinke in the Nostrils of all men who have but morall honesty and much more with those who are pious and godly indeed But I shall not prosecute this because I thinke it rarely the sin of a godly woman and I despaire of doing good on others In the sixth place it is the duty of the Wife to bear with her Husbands infirmities The sixth duty of the Wife to the Husband though the woman be the weaker Vessell yet the man is not free from but Obnoxious to many weaknesses and infirmities which a loving and tender-hearted wife must labour to beare with sometimes it doth come to passe and often too that the Husband meeting with turbulent and crosse businesses may have such perturbations of mind that for a time it may interrupt his otherwise sweet composure of spirit and make him malecontent and wayward and hard to please by his dearest relations that neither Wife nor Children can have a cheerefull looke from him nor a good word of him which the wife with a sweet silence or amiable carriage both in words and actions must passe by and it will be her great wisdome and godly discretion so to do And hereby his passions of mind will waste the faster and he returne to his usuall temper the sooner but if on the contrary the Wife to his enkindled coales adde fewell and combustible matter by bad words and a crosse-grain'd behaviour the whole house will not only be in a disturbing smoake but in a burning flame Grievous words stir up Anger Pro. 15.1 whereas on the contrary A soft Answer turneth away wrath It was the sin of Zipporah who failed in her duty in not bearing with her Husbands infirmity but as hath been observed Moses did well to beare with hers Exod. 4.25 Beare ye one anothers burthens and so fulfill the Law of Christ saith the Apostle Gal. 6.2 This duty concerned all Christians to practice in generall but in the case we speake to it doth concerne the Wife most to practice in relation to her Husband but for her to take a fit opportunity with Abigail to acquaint him that his carriage was not good but he being godly very ill-beseeming him and of scandall to others this will be an ornament of grace to her especially if she perform it in a right way There may be many other infirmities in a man besides Anger and Passion which his Wife must I say beare with which we shall not endeavour to particularize but leave to her to judge of only we shall in one word give her the rule to proceed by viz. A mans infirmity properly is an unvoluntary deviation from that rule of exactnesse whereby by the grace of God he doth walke in the generall course of his life both in relation to God and man having first respect to the duties of piety required in the first Table and secondly to the duties of righteousnesse in the second Table of the Decalogue or ten Commandements In the seventh place The seventh duty of the Wife to the Husband it is the duty of the Wife to the Husband to yield him help and furtherance in his outward Estate But in the prosecution of this duty we shall use the more concisenesse having mentioned something this way in the ninth duty of the Husband to his Wife only what was there delivered was upon another Account that is to put it upon the Husband to stir up his Wife to avoid idlenesse and to labour to be industrious where her chiefe Imployment was exprest to be to guide the house and to looke well to the waies of her Family But here we must labour to stir her up to the practice of this her duty and we hope the convincing her that it is a duty will be Motive sufficient to that end Now here it will be necessary for the Wife to take notice of the injunction of the Apostle in 1 Tim. 5.14 where he saith I will which is as much as to say I command that the younger women marry beare Children and guide the house Now to guide the house at least well for that must be understood is to see every servant performe their duty and every one in the
their exorbitant lust to make them more sit to glorifie God and perform service unto men these and such like ought to be purely your aimes And lastly you must administer this Ordinance in a a right manner that is with lifting up your hearts to God desiring him with the correction to vouchsafe to them Instruction to sanctifie it to them so that it may prove effectuall for their Reformation to make them obedient to God in word and deed and faithtull in the discharge of all the duties they owe unto you Now when your carriage is truely thus in your correcting Children or Servants you may by the blessing of God expect some gracious effects of it except the Lord have a controversie with and against them to harden their hearts by this and other means to their own perdition Thus we have done with the foure general Duties which both Husband and wife owe unto both Children and Servants as first to instruct them in the wayes of God Secondly to pray with them and for them Thirdly to walk before them in good examples Fourthly and lastly to seek to reclaim them from bad wayes Now because the neglect of these Duties is a prime cause of infinite dishonour to God the means of many souls perishing to all eternity and the breeding of multitudes of rotten and vile members in Church and State we shall endeavour with the Lords Assistance to proceed to some reasons inforcing the performance of these Duties by all godly Governours and then come to make some Application thereof Reas 1 The first Reason is taken from the Command of God who requires the performance of all these duties at thy hands for thou hast seen by variety of Scripture Texts that these duties are not Arbitrary or of an Indifferent nature that thou maist doe them or leave them undone at thy own discretion Now as the Promises of God are to be the ground of thy Faith so the Commands of God are to be the ground of thy obedience That God requires these Duties of thee from hence thou maist gather an Argument that thou art bound to set thy selfe with all thy might to the performance of them A good understanding have all they that doe his Commandements Psalme 111. ult If ye know these things blessed are ye if ye doe them John 13.17 The life of a Christian lyeth chiefely in doing What singular thing doe yee Matth. 5.47 for so it is rendred in the old Translation What is the Theory of Religion if the practick part be wanting Now as you would approve your selves to be the Children of God you must obey him in all things for His servants you are whom you obey Rom. 6.16 The second Reason inforeing from you the Reas 2 performance of these duties before mentioned for the good of your children and servants is taken from those bowels of compassions that should be in you relating to the good of their souls for by thy neglect of teaching them the knowledge of God and praying for them and with them and walking before them in good examples and labouring to reclaim them from sinne they may perish in hell for evermore He saith James that converteth a sinner from the errour of his way shall save a soule from death Jam. 5.20 and hide a multitude of sins and what knowest thou but by thy conscionable use of these meanes thou maiest instrumentally do it In Exod. 23.4 the Lord commands that if thou meet thy Enemies Oxe or his Asse going astray that thou shalt surely bring him back againe How much more then oughtest thou to be carefull when thou seest thy Children and Servants go astray from God in the wales that lead to hell to be carefull to bring them back againe and so to secure their poore soules from perishing Now in the way to hell thy Children and Servants alwaies walke when they are in a state of ignorance and in the practice of any sin My people saith God are destroyed for lack of knowledge Hos 4.6 And as for thy poore Children thy own Loynes have been the Conduit-pipe to convey into their hearts and soules from Adam the fountaine all that corruption of nature which is in them and all that propensity to sin which is in their wils Truly it is not only against a gracious principle but against an Humane and Morall one too that thou shouldst thrust thy poore Child into a dangerous quagmire and then deny him thy hand to help pluck him back againe and that thou shouldst give him many a deadly and mortall wound and refuse to apply a plaister for his cure these similitudes are infinitely too short to set forth this case fully Now when thou dost neglect these meanes beforesaid thou dost shew thy selfe to be a cruell and bloudy Man a most savage beast there is no tearmes in the world that can fully set forth the intolerable vilenesse of thy condition be thou amazed and tremble like Belshazzar in another case Dan. 5.6 and set thy selfe to reforme The third reason to quicken thee to the performance Reas 3 of the duties beforesaid is taken from the account thou art to give to God at the great day for those soules that he hath committed to thy charge if they by thy neglect perish thou must be responsible for them at the generall Audit before God Angels and Men. At which time the Lord will not remit thee one graine of the non performance of any one of these or any other duties which thou shouldst have performed to have sought his own glory and the salvation of thy Children and Servants by For in Gods calling thee to be the Governour of a Family he hath made thee a watchman over their soules And consider thou that place for the purpose in hand in Ezek. 33.8 Eli the Priest was by reason of his indulgence to his Children a very defective man this way yet many thousand Millions of men are more He sought to reclaime his Sons from their wickednesse only by admonishing them of it and of the judgments of God for the same which is more perhaps than thou didst ever do but there unseasonably came to a period God punished this sin of his First upon those his wicked and degenerate Sons then on his own person and lastly on his whole house His Sons were slaine both in one day himselfe brake his neck and his house lost the Priests Office 1 Sam. 2.22 23 24 34 35 36. Chap. 4.11 18. Read the Story and lay it sadly to thy heart But the Learned do conceive that the personall punishment of Eli was but temporall because he was gracious though in the case before-mentioned a grievous offender I say read and and consider and as thou likest the punishment so practice the sin it is true God is patient but this his patience if further abused by thee will not prove thy priviledge but thy infinite disadvantage For thou shalt when it is too late find thou art rather reserved for hell than
preserved from the evill of punishment the patience of God will be but his omission of punishment and not the remission of thy sin Reas 4 The fourth and last Reason to induce thee to the practice of these duties to thy Family may be taken from that respect thou maiest in due place have to the recompence of reward for if thou be an instrument of the glory of God in the conversion of soules thou maiest through free grace expect an interest in that promise of God That they that are wise shall shine as the firmament but they that convert many to righteousnesse shall shine as the stars for ever and ever Dan. 12.3 And what knowest thou but thou maiest have the presence and assistance of the spirit of God with thee in thy discharge of these duties if thou be consciencious therein both for the information of thy Children and Servants and the reformation of their lives Thus much for the Reasons or Motives to actuate and provoke your spirits to the discharge of those duties you owe to your Children and Servants First taken from the command of God Secondly From those bowels of Compassions to their soules that ought to be in you Thirdly From that account you must passe to God for their soules if they perish by your default And lastly from that respect you may have to the recompence of reward We shall come to a few words of Application before we proceed to the ensuing matter This in the first place may serve for Information Use 1 to let you see the originall cause and the cursed and impoysoned root from whence doth spring all the abominations of these times the profanation of Gods Sabbaths drunkennesse pride uncleannesse hating of the power of Godlinesse and all other sins Even from hence that Parents and Masters neglect their duties to their Children and Servants in Catechizing and instructing them in the waies of God as also that they pray not with them nor for them nor walke before them giving them good examples but rather the contrary and lastly in that they use no meanes to reclaime them from vicious waies but leave them to themselves laying the raines of corrupt liberty on their necks whereby they run a full careere into all waies of sin and so to hell at last The Lord hath cause to complaine of the multitude and hainousnesse of the sins of these times as once he did of the sins of Israel Amor â— 13 Behold saith God I am pressed under you as a Cart is pressed that is full of sheaves and truly it is only his mercy that the Land doth not spue us out Lev. 18 28. And that which aggravates our sins is that after the faithfull Ministers of God in the later and this present Age have cried out against the horrid sins of the Times and have spent the strength of their Reines and wasted their best spirits that they may sit down and mourne over us and say they have spent their labour in vaine and their strength to no purpose Isa 49.4 For custome in sin doth bring a necessity to sin and that in such an habituall way that no meanes without a miracle of mercy can reforme the evill manners of most for the Ministers of the Gospell cannot preach down sin nor the Civill Magistrate cut it down with the sword of justice But Beloved how easily by the blessing of God might many if not all the Exorbitances of these times have been prevented by the Christian and prudent care of Domestique Governours they might have broke the Egge betimes and so have prevented it from bringing forth a Serpent they might have taken and dash'd Babylons little ones against the stones Psal 137. ult Every Family is a little Nursery to the great Orchards of Church and Common-wealth Now Family Discipline is the pruning ingrafting Enoculating and digging about the root of the tender Imps to qualifie and fit them for transplantation into either or both the foresaid Orchards But if the meanes before-mentioned be not used instead of removing fruitfull trees you shall replant Crabs bryers and thornes and such Vines as shall bring forth no Grapes but such as Moses mentions in his Song Deut. 32.32 Their Vine is of the Vine of Sodom and of the fields of Gomorrah their grapes are grapes of gall their clusters are bitter They shall bring forth such grapes as the Lord complaines of Isa 5.2 Now as Parents and Masters may be charged to be the originall cause of all the sins beforesaid and of the sins of the like kind so may all the Errours fundamentall and circumstantiall now maintained with a Whores forehead be brought and laid down at their doores likewise for had they taken more paines with their Children and Servants to season their hearts and informe their judgements by a Catechisticall way in the solid and profound truths of God both concerning faith and life things to be believed duties to be practised there might by the blessing of God on their sincere endeavours have been better fruit expected in these daies of sadnesse and sorrow than declining pure truth vilifying Gods Ordinances and faithfull Ministers raging against and worrying of the tender Lambs of Christ In which they take the same diabolicall course that some heathens of old tooke that is cloathed the Saints in the skins of Beares and other wild beasts that so their dogs might fasten their impoysoned fangs in their tender hearts so these calumniate such who by the grace of God walke closer to the Rule than themselves with many opprobrious and vile but notoriously false aspersions they are say they enemies to the State disturbers of the peace of a Nation and many other hellish accusations they have against them which I forbeare to name not doubting but in Gods time the guilt of their abominations will settle in their owne bosoms and so clap to their hearts and so sting their soules that by the goodnesse of God they shall be awakened to see their evill and repent of it before it be too late By reason whereof all their beagles and bloud-hounds take the sent not by the feet of the non-guilty from the cursed vomit of the accuser of the Brethren and run with so much hellish fury at them that did not God graciously and the precious Laws of the times preserve them they must inevitably perish but blessed be God there is yet hopes in Israel concerning this thing Ezra 10.2 For in order to the reforming of the destructive errors of these times the higher powers do declare their sense of the same and do protest against them and we hope they will make a hedge of thornes against them Now as wicked Parents and Masters have by their neglect of their duties occasioned all the evils of sin before-mentioned and pointed at so they have been the occasion by good consequence of all the evill of punishments that this day the righteous God hath inflicted on the Nation for sin is the Antecedent of
remember that we have urged Parents and Masters to the performance of divers duties both to Children and Servants jointly together but that those duties did relate to the good of their soules only but now there remaine some duties relating to their outward good and because some of them have reference to Children particularly in which Servants can make no claime And some others do belong to Servants but I cannot say peculiarly because Children have an interest in them we shall therefore endeavour to advance toward the handling of them likewise leaning on God for assistance In order whereunto we shall labour to give Children the precedency for Grace and Nature doth teach the same The 1 duty of Parents to their Children in outward respects The first duty which Parents owe unto their Children in relation to their outward Estate is to further them in the meanes for their attaining of a competent measure of Learning for such condition and state of life as God shall call them to whether in Church or Common-wealth An illiterate man can receive no content in himselfe neither can he be profitable to others a man without learning is like a man who hath but halfe an eye he seeth divers things but in a confused and rude forme even men walking like trees like him in the Gospell Mar. 8.24 but he that hath good eies discernes things in a transparent way to the great satisfaction of his mind so a man without Learning sees things that have much beauty in themselves but to him they are cloathed and shadowed in darke and black colours he sees nothing but an outside whereas he who hath Learning seeth through and through them as we say he hath a distinguishing knowledge of them he can anatomize them and dive into the nature of them he can gaine by every Creature and squeeze out the quintiscence and benefit of every Calling he can improve all times all changes and all things to his advantage Secondly a man without learning cannot be profitable to others such a man is like a stone that is digg'd out of the quarrey and not squared nor any way fitted for the building fit for nothing but to be laid by and over-look'd or to use in common imployment no way qualified for publique service but a man of Learning is like a stone squared polished and carved that is very usefull for the choicest building such a man especially if he be of good life is principled and in a choice capacity for the highest imployments in Church and State take a few instances what Moses was for learning see Acts 7.22 And what he was in publike service the Scriptures will demonstrate for under God he was the most eminent deliverer of the Church from a state of bondage and slavery that any Age since the Creation can produce and therefore is said to be King in Jesurun when the heads of the people and Tribes of Israel were gathered together Deut. 33.5 It is said of Daniel and the other three Children that God gave them knowledge and skill in all Learning Dan. 1.17 Then in vers 19. they were preferred to stand before the King and in Chap. 2 48 49. they were put into the highest places for command in the whol Province of Babylon So Paul of all the Apostles was the most learned man being brought up at the feet of Gamaliel which was a place of learning Acts 22.3 And all men know he was the most eminent amongst them for parts and paines and himselfe doth modestly confesse that he was not a whit behind the very chiefest Apostles 2 Cor. 11.5 and for paines he did outstrip them all for he wrote more Epistles to the Churches than all the other and shewed more Rhetorick in that short Epistle of his to Philemon than you shall meet with in large Volumes Truly he had greater gifts then they who boast of the spirit but what spirit they are led by is not hard to guesse at and yet he prizeth his books as well as his Parchments which Parchments were as some conceive some sermon Notes 2 Tim. 4.13 But if it be objected that it is not of necessity to give Children more learning then the Calling which they are like to be put into doth require nor secondly to give them more learning than their Parents estate can beare I answer it is true there is no necessity for Children to have much Learning to help them in managing some meane and common Callings but it is necessary in any Calling to be able to read in their mother-tongue as we say and to write to but had they more it would be no burden to them it might fit them for society and choice discourse with those of higher breeding than themselves for in persons of the greatest parts there would be some condescention to those lesse parted And also true it is Parents are not tyed to ruine themselves nor any of their Children to breed up others great Schollers And yet I could heartily wish that Parents would strive to give their Children good breeding this way though it should be their greatest outward portions I have been the larger in this particular because it may be observed frequently that there are some who are very rich men but yet so glew'd to their cursed earthly-mindednesse that they will spare nothing or very little to give their Children learning they may leave them good estates whereby they may wear good cloathes but all that know them may point at them and say they are the arrantest clownes and meanest bred fellows in or neare the places where they dwell It was falsely said of Paul that much learning did make him mad Act 126.24 But it may be truly said that such persons as we speake of for want of Learning they are the unusefullest persons of any to be Instrumentall for the good of Church or Common-wealth and their Parents deserve the least respect of all others in the places where they live And therefore thou who art a Parent mind it that it is thy duty in a speciall manner to thy Children to vouchsafe them the meanes of Learning and be carefull to discharge thy duty herein The second duty Parents owe unto their Children for their outward estate Secondly it is the duty of Parents to provide for their Children some honest Callings either in Church or Common-wealth wherein they may both do and receive good that by them God may have glory and others benefit and themselves comfort for all persons of what quality or condition soever must eate their bread in the sweat of their own brows for this is the Ordinance of God himselfe and so indispensable with Gen. 3.19 Yet this must be granted that there is the labour of the mind as well as the labour of the body and such as labour with the head and heart may be as truly said to eat their bread in the sweat of their faces as they that strike many a heavy blow or groan under many a
Art thou a Husband Labour to performe thy duties to thy Wife Art thou a Wife Labour to discharge all those duties thou owest to thy Husband and both of you neglect not any of your duties you are obliged to discharge to your Children and Servants And it also concernes you to take care to see that your Children c. performe their duties to you which duties of all kinds you must mind and be informed in because hereby as you have heard God is glorified and both Church and State furthered in tranquillity and happinesse for by this means as before exprest you shall prevent a whole Catalogue of grievous sins from being perpetrated And so shall save the Ministers of God a great deale of paines ease their Loines and preserve their Lungs And prevent a great deale of trouble to all truly godly Magistrates who dare not beare the sword in vaine who had rather praise you and all others when they see you do that which is good than otherwise to be a terrour to you Beloved these are times look'd upon by many as times of Reformation And truly I look upon them as calling for much in that kind But let me tell you that let Ministers do their duties and Magistrates performe theirs yet if Governours of Families be remiss in the discharge of what concernes them in their relations in their little Churches and private Common-wealths all will come to nothing I professe the well instructing and right governing of Families is the eye of the worke I could wish with my soule that such as have power to make and constitute Laws would lay a very considerable Mulct upon all Governours of Families that neglect their duties to their Children and Servants to instruct and reforme them and that the same might not only extend to their purses but to their persons too You have heard before that by this meanes soules are sent to hell by multitudes such evill persons as these are what are they but the devils Factors and their sin and punishment one day without repentance will find them out but most sad of all men is the condition of such as even out of conscience as they pretend cast off the care of the soules of such as are under their charge they say and plead hard for it that none ought to be restrained from sin by use of meanes all Ordinances publique and private must be laid aside nay cast off with scorne and disdaine and men and women they say must wait for revelations from heaven sure they have had revelations from hell for their direction herein but from heaven they shall never have any unlesse it be in the demonstration of the wrath of God if they persist impenitently and for Family discipline there must be none let their Children Sweare Lye profane the Sabbaths or run in any vile way provided they call not their Parents and Masters vile Hereticks and abominable Schismaticks and offer to prove them such from the Word of God all is well for they say they can put no grace into their hearts but God will if they belong to him in due time Oh what tongue can tell or what heart can think what will be the portion of these men without Gods infinite mercy in converting and reforming them Truly contrary to intention when we first entred upon this Use we have made this digression it should have been a part of the other Use but being then omitted I was loath to let it wholly passe You may be pleased to remember that but even now I told you that were Governors of Families that if you did conscientiously discharge the duties which you owe c. you might hereby glorifie God and the tranquillity both of Church and Common-wealth would hereby be furthered c. So in the last place from hence you may conclude that as you glorifie God by this means and do good unto his poore Church on Earth by the encreasing and purging the members thereof that through the Lords free Grace in Christ you are Members of the Church of Christ here Militant and shall be of the Church Triumphant in the highest Heavens There to enjoy the fulnesse of happinesse at the right hand of Christ and all glorious and blessed Union and Communion with God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost and with innumerable and blessed Angels and Saints even the soules of just men made perfect even for ever and ever O my soule praise thou the Lord praise ye the Lord. FINIS Christian Friend By reason of the Authors living far from London and also his urgent Imployments hindring him that he could not attend the Presse there hath some faults escaped and are here inserted in this ensuing Errata which thou maiest be bleased to mend with thy Pen c. In the Paternal Advice in p. 21. l. 11. f. groanes r. grave In the Epistle Dedicator p. 2. l. 22. f. and r. for l. 28. r. as upon Page 2 line 29 for a read the. p. 11 l. 32 33 f. poverty r. penury the same l. f. destruction r. distraction p. 12. l. 21. f. with r. into p. 24 l. 26 put a period at expected p. 28 l. 18 f. these r. those p. 36 l. 31 f. prove r. approve p. 37 l. 11 f. churlish r. a churlish l. 25 r. as â— p. 38 l. 8 f. stone r. a stone p. 39 l. 7 r. be too nice p. 45 l. 1 f. spirituall r. speciall p. 46 l 9 f. unhandsome r. unwholsome p. 50 l. 15 f. over r. even p. 51 l. 6 r. a muckworme l. 15 f. Hos r. Hest p. 93 l. 1 f. unto r. in p. 95 l. 13 dele no. l. 15 dele the. p. 108 l. 14 f. concerned r. concerneth l. 32 f. doth r. should p. 141 l. 10 f. duty r. Deity p. 143 l. 27 f. his r. thy p. 152 l. 16 f. command r. examples l. 19 f. thirdly r. secondly p. 164 l. 6 r. the eternall p. 169 l. 19 r. not what is she p. 173 l. 6 r. to the. p. 174 l. 17 f. eye r. Key
Family to have food in due season and that it be good for quality and enough for quantity and nothing spoyled for want of seasonable spending she must have a jealous eye upon such servants in whom there is the least ground of suspition of unfaithfulnesse to prevent their passages out of the backe doore as we â—ay and to take heed of laying temptations on them by letting them enjoy any opportunities to come at such things which concerne them not to have to do with but at times of washings or cleansing the corners of the house for the Proverbe is that the temptation makes the Thiefe She must in a speciall manner be carefull of the Education and breeding of the Children they being the chiefest part of her Husbands and her owne Estate she must be as helpfull as she may if need require to her Husband in his outward Calling But thou that art a Wife if thou desire to performe thy duty this way then for thy imitation read often and consider seriously of the waies of the good Houswife in Pro. 31.10 to the end of that Chapter And truly let me tell thee that if thou be not consciencious to further thy Husband in his outward estate thou art very unworthy to have any share in that honour of being reputed among the number of meet helpers There hath many a man been raised to a good outward estate by the industry of his wife for the hand of the diligent maketh rich Prov. 10.4 whether the hand of Husband or Wife And many a man hath been brought to miserable penury and beggery by the Idlenesse and such qualities as attend thereon of his wife Lastly The Wife may very much help her Husband in his outward Estate by labouring to prevent him or to seeke to reclaime him from profuse unthrifty and expensive waies I say she should first labour to prevent him from such Estate-consuming courses which she may do by labouring to provide all necessary and wholsome dyet at home for him with due attendance and a quiet Family for many a man having wanted these at home hath sought them abroad and so by little and little custome in unthrifty courses hath brought a necessity on him of continuance in them a necessity indeed but yet springing from his own wicked heart But thou that art a Wife if thou canst not prevent this plague from falling on thy Family then in the second place thou must labour in all waies of wisdome and sweetnesse to reclaime him out of these pernitious courses Beseech him to consider his sin by this wicked way of his against God Secondly against his own soule Thirdly against his body by unhealthfulnesse and noysome diseases Fourthly against his Credit Fifthly Against his owne Estate Sixthly Against thy selfe Lastly Against his poore Children Thou must also labour to be as amiable in his eye as possible that he may delight in thy company truly they are no good meanes that some women use to reclaime their Husbands by as to follow them with an enraged spirit to an Ale-house and there to raile and foame pull and teare as if they would throw the house out of the window as we say for this course seldome or never doth do any good But if all the meanes thou canst use prove in vaine beg of God to sanctifie this sore afflicton to thee and thine and the more expensive thy Husband is abroad the more sparing be thou at home that if possible the Estate may hold out to be a meanes to bring up thy Children untill under God they can shift by good waies for themselves But for thy own condition whether in such a desperate case thou maiest make a purse for thy selfe as we say or not I shall say very little and that under correction too submitting to the judgement of learned and judicious Divines but I am fully satisfied in my own conscience that thou maiest not contrary to thy Husbands allowance lay by one penny as we lay against a wet day and the reason why I thus thinke is because thy Husband alone hath the propriety in his Estate unlesse some agreement betweene you before Marriage or betweene thy friends and him have altered the case And we must for ever walke by this Rule that we must not do evill that good may come thereby Rom. 3.8 for their damnation is just But this thou must do and in so doing approve thy selfe a Christian thou must act faith on God Hab. 3.17 18. And that thou canst not do if thou neglect lawfull meanes or use any that is unlawfull The eighth duty of the VVife to the Husband Now in the eighth and last place the duty of the Wife to her Husband is to put forth her selfe with all tendernesse and endeared Affections with all readinesse enlargednesse and cheerefulnesse to yield him comfort and succour in the time of bodily affliction sicknesse and weakness we have seen before that the aiming at comfort in all conditions is one end and a principall one too of our desiring the Marriage condition And if a woman be any way negligent herein she doth leave unperformed one speciall duty she doth owe to her Husband for if ever a man stand in need of his Wives help he doth so in a speciall manner when he cannot help himselfe Now the time of sicknesse and weakenesse is such a time and then the wife must in an extraordinary way put forth her best abilities in her own person to contribute to the foresaid purpose and not only so but she must labour to procure able and faithfull attendants about him and by no meanes neglect to look out to procure under God help from such Physitians as have both the Theory practique part of their profession and manifest most tendernesse care and honesty for the good and recovery of their patients But what meanes soever she makes use of she must depend on the God of meanes for a blessing which she must crave of him by earnest and fervent prayer for such prayer is a meanes sanctified of God to save the sick Jam. 5.15 We shall turne in here and proceed no further to lay down the particular duties that the Wife doth owe to her Husband of which she must make conscience as in the presence of God And that as she will approve her selfe to be a meet helper to her Husband the number of which duties you see are eight first Matrimoniall love Secondly Cohabitation Thirdly To be helpfull to him in the best things for the good of his soule Fourthly Submission to him Fifthly To reverence him Sixthly To labour to beare with his Infirmities Seventhly To yield him furtherance in his outward Estate Eighthly and lastly To labour to help and comfort him in time of Ilnesse and weaknesse of any kind We have endeavoured hitherto to consider of the distinct duties of the Husband to his Wife And of the VVives duties to her Husband or which duties some that the Husband doth owe unto his VVife