become first Husband and Wife then Parents to children and with that Masters of servants which are all the Relations of a Family The principal care must be to chuse fit Materialls for the building which how well and how far it may be done is delivered in the Sermon hereto anneved to which I refer the Reader 2. For a Family already Constituted but corrupted and needing Reformation the same course must be taken as in Reforming a corrupted Church For as there Preaching and Catechising and all wayes of Instruction are first to be used by the Minister the chiefe Officer thereof and after that the practice of that knowledge wrought must be pressed by Admonition Reproofe Exhortation And lastly if these proceedings prove ineffectual the exercise of Discipline and Censures upon wilfull and stubborn offenders Just so it ought to be in a Family as it is also a little more largely directed in the Sermon following to which I refer But we are to speak now onely to the first of those three how the chiefe Housholder may lay that foundation of Reformation in his Family which is by Knowing and Teaching them under his charge the true knowledge of those Duties belonging to the several Relations of a Family as afore To which purpose I would commend if they have not better the reading and practicing in all good conscience and sincerity of the Sermon following as far as it concerns themselves in their single double or threefold Relation viz. as Husbands to Wives as Parents to chidren as Masters to servants And then to Teach the rest of the family their correlates wives children servants their particular duties according to their relations respectively But when their children or seroants are to be transplanted either for the constituting a new family as Husbands or Wives or for the furnishing of another family as servants then to aquaint them with and make them understand the duties of their new Relations before they come to practice them To which end the little short Catechisme's fitted for each Relation will much conduce if they be taught explained wisely by the chieife Housholder and impressed on them by his own Example in the performance of his duties in all his owne relations The Benefit of teaching and whetting on of these prineiples conscientiously will be exceeding great For 1. By this meanes Housholders themselves may come to see repent of and amend their own miscarriages not onely when they were children or servants but also their present neglects of their duties as Husbands Parents Masters which they must performe as they expect that their correlates should be good serviceable to them or Gods blessing upon both 2 By the knowledge they may get by teaching others they may not onely learn their own Duties in all their Relations but also be able to call upon their Inferiours to do their Duties and to exact them of them when they goe astray 3. This if they have any conscience or care to please God may serve to make them the more carefull to performe their own Duties in all their Relations because now their Inferiours will be able to discover their failings having learned their Duties in such Relations when God shall call them to them 4. This way they may fit and prepare their children and servants to be Materials of new Families as Husbands or Wives according to their Sexe to be Parents or Masters being already furnished with the knowledg of the Duties of those new Relations 5. And lastly make them Instrumentall and serviceable to the publick good as good Neighbours in Townes good Members of Churches good Subjects in the State and some of them good Officers in Church or State For that Rule of the Apostle here holds well He that cannot rule his own Family how shall he govern the Church or Common-wealth 1. Tim. 3.4 5. One thing more and I have done Because Duties will not easily goe down or be digested if they be not manifested to be imposed by Divine Authority I have following the Reverent Doctor herein backed the most of them by Texts of Scripture which held out either expresse Commands or eminent Examples of holy Saints the best comments upon commands or noted Extravagances of wicked men against the rule of the Word which in opening and explaining of the Answers are to be taken notice of and applied by the chief Housholder I need say no more to perswade the Governours of Families to set upon the exercise and practice of these Directions than what I have said in the Sermon I onely adde this short Ejaculation for them and theirs That the God of all grace would blesse and prosper them to the Glory of his Name the Honour of Religion the publick Good of Church and State and to the furthering of their comfort here and eternall Salvation and glory hereafter Amen FAMILY REFORMATION Promoted Joshua 24.15 But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. THere hath been of late all know much talke but God knowes more need of a general Reformation The foundations of Church State are out of course and unlesse God put under his hand very like to come to confusion The common mistake and mischief is that every man almost complains but few or none do help to amend what is amisse in themselves or others It were the readiest as first and chiefest way to reform all for every one to mend one that is himselfe For a Family being made up of single persons in several Relations Townes or Congregations of many Families and the whole Nation of Townes or Congregations if single persons were but as they should be and as in serious thoughts they acknowledge they ought to be that is Religiously good the whole body of Church or State must needs be so But it is not so easie a matter to reforme one man I meane to perswade him to reforme himselfe while some for ignorance cannot others for the Impetuousnesse of their lusts will not and others out of selfe-conceite think they need not Reforme unlesse there be some other Superiour and Superintendent power to do it we are not like in hast to see a Reformation There are therefore blessed be God some other means left us to effect this work First the Govornours of families Secondly Officers in the Church And thirdly Magistrates in the State If Governours of families would but reforme their own Relations the Church would have little use of her Discipline and the State lesse of Execution of Justice If on the other side Townes or Congregations be loose and profane the Nation consisting of them cannot be good or happy if Families be wicked and licentious Townes and Parishes consisting of them must needs be naught And if single persons be and in spight of houshold discipline will be vitious Families consisting of such must necessarily be bad and consequently all very bad The Reformation then of all should first begin with Single persons if they refuse the Housholder must undertake
required in the family to be exercised by the Master of the house How much ignorance of God and his word in most families For neglect of How much loosnesse profanenesse wickednesse in children servants wives Take but the reason of all in a word it is because there is no care of the service of God in the family by the Chief of the family Look but upon the particular services 1 Morning and evening prayers in the family 1. A constant course of Morning Evening Prayers is one principle part of the service of God in the family which is evinced by this one argument because some deny the necessity of it and call for Scripture for it to omit others Because it being God that hath placed men in a Community setting the solitary in families Psal 68.6 it cannot be justly conceived he did this meerly for their worldly conveniences but rather that they should improve their Society to his glory who is the Lord of them altogether as well as of every one single so to worship him joyntly as well as of every one solitarily and apart Zach. 12. And as Congregations or publick Assemblies are appointed purposely for the more solemne worship of God by all several families So are families for a joynt and lesse solemne worship of God by all the single persons thereof together And indeed how hath the family that knowledge of God to be 1. Their great Lord and Master 2 The Author of their peace among themselves Psal He maketh men to be of one minde in an house that the Governour is gentle to his inferiours and they dutiful to him 3. The Author of all blessings to them all of health and strength to follow their labours and of successe and comfort in them if they agree not together to joyne in worship of that their Lord and in tendering Prayers and Praises for such things as they expect and receive from him But now how visible how common is the neglect of this service of God How many or rather how few families are there that keep this course How many goe to bed like their Swine and rise again like their Dog without ever calling upon Gods Name to give thanks for mercies received or pray for what they want The very Lords Prayer which runs in the plural implyes this a dayly duty of every man and being a society it requires it of all together that can meet to say Our Father c. and thine is the Kingdome c. The House is a little Church and so may be called an House of Prayer 2. Reading and hearing of the word 2 Reading and hearing of the word is another commanded service as by every person single so by all together in the family It concerns the Master of the family to see this done Deut. 11.18 c. is expressed for this to make the Scriptures known to their houshold speaking of it to them writing it upon the posts and gates and reading of it is now the readiest way But now how many Families have not one Chapter read from years end to years end at least from Sabbath to Sabbath How shall they understand the word in publick Col. 3.16 that are not acquainted with it in private The Apostle commands Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdome teaching and admonishing one another c. And it was the commendation of Timothius Parents that he knew he holy Scripturs from a child which onely are able to make a man wise to salvation In many families and they great ones we may finde Play-Books and amorous lacivious discourses frequently read but rarely a Chapter of the Bible all the week long Is it any wonder then that wives children servants are so bad 3. Catechising and instructing of those under their charge 3 Catechising is another Service of God Deut. 6.6 Thou shalt whet them upon thy Children c. or sharpen them by often repeating and the best meanes to work knowledge of God and his service in the hearts of inferiours Traine up a childe and servant in the trade of his youth and when he is old he shall not depart from it Thus did David drop Religion into Solomon while a childe Pro. 4.3 4. and so did his mother Bathsheba Pro. 31.1 2. c. Timothies did the like 2 Tim. 2. But how is this every where neglected Few children or servants are taught the Catechisme the first principles of Religion Hence the unprofitablenesse under the best publick preaching Hence so many are seduced into so many grosse errors and heresies and profanesse 4 Singing of Psalms 4. Singing of Psalmes is another service of God in the family as well as in the publick See Col. 3.16 Teaching and admonishing one another with Psalmes and Hymnes and spiritual Songs making melody in your hearts to God We heare Ballads and Jigs and filthy Songs sung in families but not a Psalme all the year long 5. Grace before and after meales 5 Grace at meales is a part of Prayer and Praises due to God but shamefully neglected in families or but a meer formality if used without any reverence Is it any wonder children servants be so bad to them when they are so bad to God that they do as the children of Israel did Sit down to eat and drink and rise up to play and that play was Idolatry Our blessed Saviour himselfe never eat himselfe or fed others at his Table but he blessed and gave thanks Mark 8.6 7. the Apostle Paul amongst Heathens observed the same Acts 27.35 And the same Apostle speaking of meats particulary God hath created them to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe know the truth For every creature of God is good if it be received with thanksgiving For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer 1 Tim. 4.3 4 5. As if it were not good if not sanctified by prayer and thanksgiving but may prove a Serpent even a poyson to soul or body And the neglect hereof argues in the Apostles Logick that such persons neither believe nor know the truth Let them consider it 6 Sanctification of the Sabbath 6. Lastly Sanctification of the Sabbath by the whole family in all or most of the duties aforesaid publickly and privately is the care of the chief housholder as in the fourth Commandment Remember thou keep holy the Sabbath day Thou Master and thy sonne and daughter manservant and maidservant What need so particular enumeration if there were not a great weight in the performance thereof But where shall we finde the family that doth all this when the Housholders themselves neglect or profane it by their own example and imploy their children and servants in businesses to keep them from the publick Congregation or leave them to come or goe at their own pleasure or to spend the day in Idelnesse or Sports pastimes that day How can these men say truly I and my
for one another but joyntly with one another or together Q. What must they pray for together A. 1. That they may be one spirit as one flesh 2. That this Ordiance may be sanctified to them 3. That if God please they may have children comely wise gracious and heires of salvation 4. A competency to bring them up 5. For graces wanting or weak in themselves Q. What good must they promote in each other A. 1. Of their soules 1 Cor. 7.16 1 Pet. 3.1 7 both for conversion and edification and if fallen restoring one another 1 Thes 5.11 Levit. 19.17 2. Of their bodies in health and in sicknesse as mutual helpers Gen. 27.14 3. Of their good name Matth. 1.19 Prov. 22.1 both preserving it and preventing ill reports 4. Of their goods or estate Prov 31 12. Q. What common duties concern them in regard of others A. They respect the Family or others Q. What concerns them joyntly to the Family A. A joynt government of it each to be helpful in overseeing the children servants and affairs thereof The Husband chiefly without doors the Wife within 1 Tim. 5.14 Prov. 31.11 c. Q. What Duties respect both in regard of strangers A. 1. An hospitable intertainment Gen. 18.6 7. c. 2. Relieving the poor Nehem. 8.10 Prov. 31.20 Thus farre the duties common to both the particular duties of each party follow Chapter 6. The Duties of Wives to their Husbands Col. 3.18 Wives submit your selves unto your own Husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Q. WHat are the parts of this Text A. Three 1. Their subjection commanded wives submit your selves to your husbands 2. The motive or reason of it As it is fit 3 The rule or direction in the Lord. Q. Why doth the Apostle begin first with Husbands and Wives A. 1 Bâ—cause man and wife were the first couple in the World before there were Parents and children or Masters and servants 2 Because they are the chiefe of the Family and rule of all the rest if they be not good husband and wife they will never be good Parents nor good Masters 3 Because if they neglect their duties to each other nothing goes well in the family the rest will be naught by their example Q. Why doth the Apostle in every Relation begin first with the Inferiour A. 1. Because inferiours are most unwilling to undergoe their burdens 2. To obey well is the best way to learn to rule well They prove best Superiours that are best Inferiours 3. It 's most for their own ease because as they are weakest so like to feele the smart of it Due obedience will move Superiours to be kinde to them Q. Why amongst Inferiours doth he first begin with Wives A. 1. To shew the wives inferiority to her husbands as children to Parents c. 2. Wives were the first on whom subjection waâ— laid as instrumental to sin 3. The wives example if good is very prevolent to the rest to do their duties 4. They most unwilling to yeeld subjection by reason of the little distance from and nearer Union with their Husbands Q. What is the maine duty of the Wife A. Subjection or submission to her husband Gen. 3.16 Q. Wherein doth that subjection consist A. In these two things 1. An acknowledgement of his Superiority over her 2. In her respect to him as her Superiour Q. How doth it appear that her Husband is her Superiour A. 1. God hath given it to him Gen. 3.16 2. Nature teaches it in the weakenesse of all Females 1 Pet. 3.7 The weaker vessel and so inferiour to the Males 3. His Titles imply superiority as Lord 1 Pet. 3.6 Guide Prov. 2.17 Head 1 Cor. 11.3 4. He represents Christ she the Church Eph. 5.23 5. Woman was made for the Man not the Man for the Woman Gen. 2.18 1 Cor. 11.8 9. Q. What reason is there of this acknowledgment A. Because this is the ground of all true subjection and obedience as to the Ordinance of God Q. Wherein stands her respect to him A. In two things Reverence and Obedience Q. What is her reverence to him A. Inward or outward Q. What is her inward Reverence A. An high esteeme of him for his place sake as her Lord and Head by the Ordinance of God which is called feare 1 Pet. 3.2 and Reverence Eph. 5. last a reverential feare Q. Whereby is that feare manifested A. 1 By her care to please him 1 Cor. 7.34 2 By her joy in pleasing him Pro. 31.12 3 By her grief in offending him Q. Whereby is her outward fear or reverence discovered A. By her behaviour and speech Q. What must her behaviour to him be A. 1 With gravity in a sober carriage 1 Tim. 3.11 2 Meeknesse or mildness in a cleare and amiable countenance 3 Courtesie on all occasions 4. Modesty in Apparrel fitting for his estate and place Q. How must she order her speech A. She must order it aright both in his presence and absence How in his presence A. 1. Her words must be few Contrary Pro. 7.19 rather with silence than much talking 1 Tim. 2.12 2. Reverent giving him his due Titles of Lord or Husband 1 Pet. 3.6 3. Meek from a quiet spirit 1 Pet. 3.4 2 Kin. 4.10 22. Q. How in his absence A. Speaking of him with all due respect as her Superiour Gen. 18 1â— Q. Wherein consists her obedience A. It is either Passive or Active Q. Whereby is her Passive obedience manifested A. In forbearing to dispose of the affairs of the family against his minde or without his consent Gen. 16.5 6. and 21.10 and 2 Kin. 4.10 22. Q. May the Wife do nothing without his consent A. Yes in three cases 1. In case of Impotency as when he is sick or distracted c. 2. Of impossibility when far absent 3. Of allowance manifested two wayes 1. Generally by resignation of all to her Prov. 31.10 11. 2. Particularly in some things expresly or by silence and connivence Q. How doth this appear her duty A. 1 by that Law Gen. 3.16 2 By example of the good Shunamite 2 Kings 4.9 3 From an Husbands power to make void her vowes Num. 30.7 13. Q. Wherein consists her Active obedience A. In obeying his commands and bearing his reproofes Q. Wherein appears her obedience to his commands A. 1 In cohabitation following him whether God by his providence calls him Gen. 31.16 1 Cor. 4.5 1 Pet. 3.7 2 Coming to him when sent for as Jacobs wives did Gen. 31.4 contra Esth 1.17 3 Doing what is required of her as Sarah Gen. 18.6 and Jeroboams wife 1 Kings 14 2. Q. How must she beare his Reproofes A. 1 If unjust yet with patience 2 If just though sharp with meeknesse Gen. 33.1 3 With readinesse to amend what was done amisse Gen. 35.2 4. Q. What reason gives the Apostle to enforce these duties A. Because it is fit to do so Q What meanes that fitnesse A. 1 Decency or comlinesse So it is
her honour 2. Equity as agreeable to the Law of God of Nature and to the Gospel Q. What meanes those words In the Lord A. It implyes 1. A limitation 2. A direction And 3. A motive Q. What is the limitation A. A Wife must submit and obey but in the Lord that is in lawful things Q. What is the Direction A. To do all her duties to her Husband with an eye to the Lord as unto Christ Eph. 5.22 Q. How is it a Motive A. 1. In doing her duty to her husband she does it to Christ and he takes it so 2. In refusing or neglecting it to him she does the same to Christ Chapter 7. The Duties of Husbands to their Wives Col. 3.19 Husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them Q. WHat are the parts of this Text A. Two 1. The Duty of an husband To love his wife 2. The manner of performance with mildnesse expressed by forbidding the contrary and be not bitter to them Q. Why doth the Apostle comprehend the whole duty of the husband in love Eph. 5.25 28 33. A. 1. Otherwise no duty can be well performed from one to another 1 Cor. 16.14 2 The Wife is the chiefest object of love above friends châ—â—de parents must leave all for her as she all for him therefore must love her most Deut. 13.6 wife or his bosome 3 Least his Superiority and Authority over her should degenerate into Tyranny 4 She the weaker Sexe and apt to offend but love will cover all 5 To provoke her to love him because he first loves her as Christ the Church Q. What particular duties of the Husband do proceed from Love 1 Pet. 3.7 According to knowledge A. Two 1. A wife maintaining of his Authority 2. A right managing of the same Q. Why must an Husband maintaine his Authority A. 1. This maintaines Gods and Christs Authority who entrust him with it 2. This most promotes the good of his wife and the whole family Q. How may he maintaine his authority A. By being an example to them in Love Gravity Piety Honesty which cause a reverent respect in Wife and Family 1 Tim. 4.2 Q. How is this authority to be managed A. 1. By a tender respect of her 2. By a provident care for her Q. What is that tender respect of her A. It is either inward or outward Q. Wherein consists his inward respect A. 1. In regard of his Opinion of her 2. In regard of his affection to her Q. What opinion must he have of her A. 1. In regard of her place 1 Pet. 3.7 Giving honour to her he must esteeme her not as a servant but as his yoke-fellow and companion a little lower then himselfe as neerest to equality 2. In regard of her person so he must esteeme his own wife fittest and best for him as provided by God Prov. 19.14 and 18.22 Q. What affection must he bear to her A. It must be with the greatest delight in her as the delight of his eyes as Ezek. 24.19 ravisht modestly with her love Prov. 5.18 19. Q. Wherein appears his outward respect A. 1. In avoiding offences to her 2. In wisely ordering her offences to him Q. How may he avoid offences to her A. 1. In taking her duty tendered to him 2. In tendering his own to her Q. What is to be done in taking hers A. 1. A kind acceptation of it as Abraham did Sarahs Gen. 21.8 1 Sam. 1.23 2. Commending and rewarding her for it as Prov. 31.28 31. Esth 5.3 1 Kin. 1.28 c. Q. How must he tender his duty to her to avoid offences A. In mildnesse a special fruit of love which the Apostle intends in these words Be not bitter to them which is expressed 1 In his speeches whether giving her Titles as Wife Love c. or instrutions commands or reproofes all with meeknesse Gal. 6.1 Prov. 25.15 2 In his countenance which must be amiable and pleasing 3 In his gestures with a kind of modest familiarity as Isaac to Rebecca Gen. 26.8 4 In his Actions by favours and gifts as 1 Sam. 1.4 5. Elkanah did to his Q. What is required in ordering her offences to him A. To passâ— them by with meekenesse and patiently to bear with her weaknesse Pâ—ov 19.11 1 Pet. 3 7. Q. Wherein appears his provident care for her A. 1. In providing things needful for her as her Head 1 Sam. 1.3 4 7. and 2.19 both for her soul in privaâ—e and publick meanes of her edification and also for her body both in health and sicknesse especially in the time of child-bearing and this not onely in his life time but after death 1 Kin. 1.21 setling a comfortable and suitable maintenance on her 2. In protecting her from danger in her person and name 1 Sam. 27.3 and 30.18 Q. What motives have Husbands to love their Wives and do all these duties to them A. Beside the command of God these two 1. The example of Christ in loving his Church and therein themselves if godly Eph. 5.25 Now Christ loveth first 1 Joh. 4.19 Indeed and in truth giving himselfe for it Eph. 5.26 Freely Deut. 7.7 8. Purely to sanctifie it v. 27. Constantly Joh. 13.1 Hos 2.19 so may they 2. The example of ones selfe Eph. 5.28 29 A wife is himselfe they are one flesh FINIS