then Esau the elder I and Jacob affected his two youngest Joseph and Benjamin more then his first born Reuben and Simeon and King David placed the crown on the head of Salomon contrary to the Jews law and custome though he had six sons elder then Salomon and a great part of this act in King David we may ascribe to the affection policy and power of Batsheba the mother as that other the like act of Isaac in preferring Jacob to Esau may be attributed to Rebecca Now from this root of love in the parents shoot out the branches of their care in nursing breeding and providing for their children all which are so naturall and necessary that who neglects the performance of these duties deserves not the name of father and mother nor yet so much as to be called Syre or Damme for beasts and birds generally performe these cares for their young untill they are able to provide for themselves for did we ever know or read that an Ewe a Doe or a Sow put out her young to nurse or would suffer any other to give their young suck but themselves so long as themselves were able to do it and must we conceive that nature hath less power or works less in a woman which hath reason then in a beast or will ye have me think that reason and grace which add unto and strengthen the gifts of nature do both weaken nature in the woman and if not which indeed cannot be thought by any indued with grace or reason why then think we that nature hath given the mother breasts and fountains of milk if not to suckle her young or why think ye that a strange womans milk should be so naturally and properly good for the child as the mothers which brought it into the world and why rather consider you not that as children with the milk draw that humour which makes for the good or ill of their bodies so many by sucking cruell drunken unchast women have become such in quality and condition as their nurses were It may be instanced in Tiberius Commodus Emperors of Rome and divers others but not to be long on this subject remember that Sarah is said to have given her son suck from which act I shall draw no other inference but that of S. Peter 1 Pet 3.6 whose Daughters ye are as long as ye do well doing as she did who gave suck to her child But the mothers duty ends not in this but that she with the husband and each and both must labour with the soonest to administer the spirituall milk of the knowledge and fear of God thereby to nourish the childs soul to everlasting life and this duty lies more straightly and strongly upon the parent in as much as the soul the Temple of God is more excellent of greater esteem then the body which is but an house of clay The father and mother of Samson inquire of the Angell of the Lord saying Judge 13 12. How shall we order the child and bow shall we do unto him and that the child Samuel may be ordered aright his mother brings him very young to the house of the Lord and she lent saith the text or returned him to the Lord 〈◊〉 1 2â—.8 to be his as long as he lived and what follows so good an entrance and beginning I Sam. 2.11 as in the very next chapter that the child according to his matriculation did ever after minister unto the Lord. And what the further duties of parents are in this kind S. Paul intimâ—â—es in one place when he saith I Thes 2.11 I exhort and not only so but I charge you as a father doth his children that ye walk worthy of God who hath called you to his Kingdome and in another text he expresseth it more plainly as a precept to parents fathers bring up your children in the nuâ—ture and fear of the Lord. and if you will have a more especiall and particular account of the severall lessons to be taught this child you may read them set down by the wise man in his Proverbs â—â—ov 4. where that whole chapter contains the full instruction of a child in the ways of godliness and the fruit thereof the parents shall find in the same book where it is said Prov. 23. â—4 The father of the righteous shall have great joy and be shall rejoyce that hath a wise son And that Parents may receive this joy Prov. 22. â— the wise man counsels them Train up or catechise the child in his youth in the way he should go Prov. 23.13 14. and with hold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die but thou shalt deliver his soul from hell Prov. 29. â—5 Whereas a child left to himself brings his mother to shame I have read of a son who on the Gallows called to speak with his father where he bit off his eare telling him that if he had done the part of a Father in training him up with due correction he had never come to that end And was not Eli to blame suffering his sons to behave themselves wickedly when all the correction he gave them was Why do ye so my sons And what was it leste if not more in Lot to drink immoderatâ—ly with his daughters whereby he came to uncover both their nakednesse and Jacob himself deserved to be reprehended for suffering his daughter Dinah to ramble among the strange young men whereby she caught that clap which caused so much bloud-shed the Apostle therefore saith what son is he whom the father chastneth not Heb. 12.7 8 9. yea and if the son be without chastisement then is he a bastard and no son but if chastned he gives his father reverence and the mother saith S. Paul 1 Tim. 5.10 that hath brought up her children in the faith is well reported of whereas the Prophet tells us that it became a proverb Ezek. 16.44 as is the daughter so is the mother which appeared true in David whose children after himself had committed folly and murder were found loose rebellious and murderers And yet to this admonition lest Parents grow too severe and rigid I must give this caution that Parents be not like Rehoboam to threaten or use scorpions that is whips having sharp thongs like points of thorns or stings of Serpents but ever that they remember the counsell of the Apostle Eph. 6.4 Fathers provoke not your children unto wrath lest that as himself speaks they may be discouraged Col. 3.21 correction with discretion and moderation is the chastisement required in a father to his child for that as S. Gal. 4 â— Paul speaks the heir as long as he is a childe differeth not from a servant And yet the duty of the Parent ends not here but extends it self to a further point that he provide for his child the Apostle is expresse herein when he saith
2 Cor. â—2 14 The parents ought to lay up for their children which thing if they doe not then saith the same Apostle 1 Tim. 5.8 That man that provides not for his own hath denyed the faith and is worse then an infidell for the heathens and infidels do it yea he is worse then the very beasts all which provide for their young except the Raven which as some write forsake theirs featherlesse and meatlesse leaving them to be nourished either by the dew from heaven from flies in the aire or from small wormes breeding in the nest and this if the Naturalists observation holds heightned the miracle that God wrought when he caused these Ravens such unnaturall birds to their own to feed the Prophet Elijah But to this duty of Parents providing for children I must give a memento or two which may concern the parent and some other that may respect the child to that which concerns the Parent we have a proverb or by-word Happy is that child whose father goes to the Devill and I remember when Rebecca intended in love to Jacob the younger to rob Esau the elder and and the heir of his birth-right Jacob said to his mother by this fraudulent and false way I shall bring a curse upon my self and not a blessing but what is the mothers reply upon me be the curse my son so I make thee great and Lord of all but worthily deserves that Parent the curse and justly is he rewarded with hell who fears neither the curse nor hell so he can make his son rich and great A learned Father of the Church August having reproved the immoderate raking together of riches in many men was answered by these men that all they did was for their children and every man was bound by Gods law to provide for them whereunto be replyed this seems to be the voice of piety but indeed it is the excuse of iniquity and better it were your children should want wine then you water to cool your tongue or better they should want fire here then you should burn in hell hereafter But certainly if Parents were so besotted with their love to their children as to hazard their own everlasting damnation and torture for their children yet did they consider how little benefit these ill gotten goods bring to their children and posterity in the end they would not be so hell-hardy as they are for hear what the Prophet speaks Psal 37.35.36 I have seen and so have we the wicked in great power and spreading himself like a green Baytree yet he passed and loe be was not yea I sought him but he could not be sound and the Aegyptians when they would expresse such a father and his son they portrayed one twisting a rope and an other ravelling it ouâ— and indeed often it comes so to passe that the house reard by fraud and iniquity becomes like an house that is built of a liquid substance that the sun will consume or if not yet God as the Lord of the earth may take his own if ill gotten from him where he findes it and this without all or any shew of injustice Therefore Fathers that your estates may prove durable to your children and comfortable to your selves get them in the fear of God and by honest and just means and in the distribution of them be just and equall not giving all or the most of all to one for the raising or propagating a name and little to the rest I am not ignorant that diverse people doe it and herein they do right well because herein they seem to imitate the Jews who indeed left those lands in Canaan which came unto them and were divided by lot these for the most part as by prescription or law descended to the elder and again because the elder among them both in sacred and civill affairs and titles had the preheminence before and above the younger But neither before nor after the law given by Moses did this hold as a law that the elder should enjoy all the lands except as before I say that which by Gods immediate prescript was so divided to them by lot For before the law observe the eldest of Jacobs children Reuben Simeon and Levi and of the twelve Joseph and Benjamin the youngest yet Judah the fourth son he hath the dominion and Joseph and Benjamin the greatest part in their fathers blessing but yet so that although be gave them most whom he most affâ—cted for the inward endowments and goodnesse of the soul yet he gave them all of his blessing from God liberally and proportionably to their several abilities And did not Isaac the like what did King David a man after Gods own heart who having had six sons elder then Salomon yet intended in their life time and afterward actually setled the crown upon Salomon the younger it hath been so much practised by many that it bath almost become a proverb Who best deserves best have Yet so that all may be as heirs of their Fathers spirituall so of his earthly and temporall blessing and that with some indifferent measure and proportion For although a river cut and divided into many streams runs not so strongly nor makes so great a shew or noise yet thus divided it doeth lesse harm by breaches or overflowings and more good by watering and refreshing the land And I am sure that an house bridge or castle built or setled upon most arches buttresses or piles of stone stands more firmely and for continuance then that which stands but upon one for if this one failes as oft it is seen in the heirs of England all the house falls to decay with him and is gone Now if two strings to the bow holds surest then say I why not to have two three or four rather then to trust all to one but if you shall adde hereunto the heart-burnings contentions troubles and wars not only between Davids children or Isaacs or between the Edomites and Israelites the issue and posterity of Esau and Jacob but of thousands more upon unequall distributions you will soon conclude that it is neither wise good nor safe to give all or most of all to one because he is the elder but either to give the most to the best or proportionally to divide it among all And because the children of great men and gentlemen as well as of others grow from good to bad and from ill to worse therefore it behoves parents as much as in them is and in their life time not to bring up their children to be meer gentlemen that is to hawke hunt or to eate drink and play which was the sin and destruction of the old world and is taxed by the Apostles which is the same in our days but as the Apostle wisely and holily hath given us in charge 1 Cor. 7â— 20 Let every man abide in that calling wherein he was called which words imply no lesse then that every man should have a
calling which is agreeable to the first foundation and building up of the world Where at first no sooner was the stage of the world reared but that our first father Adam was set to acting that is to speak plainly Adam was set to dress the garden and not only the children of Adam who were heires of the world spent their time in tilling and sowing the earth or in keeping and feeding sheep but the Patriarchs Abraham Isaac and Jacob though Lords of great possessions and masters of many servants and powerfull to fight with and conquer Kings yet these witness the holy writ lived not as our Gentlemen do but as the Apostle counsells and commands us they lived and exercised themselves in honest callings for they knew that as of idleness comes no goodness so he that lives idly to eate drink and play must be sure as the Apostle speaks that the judgement of God is according to truth Row 2.2.5 against them which commit such things and therefore that they do hereby treasure up unto themselves wrath against the day of wrath and the just judgement of God who will render to every man according to his deeds The Greeks as I am taught have a word which signifies to play the Stork whereby they understand that the love of parents to their children should beget in children a reddition and retribution of their duty to their Parents for it is storied of the Stork that as the old one hath been loving and tender to feed defend and cherish their young so the young will feed defend and carry the old when it is unable to help it self Now Christ himself Mat. 6.26 though in another case bids us behold the fowles of the aire and accordingly the Spirit of God by his pen-men grounds instructions to children in their duty to parents as S. Paul doth when he saith Children obey your Parents in the Lord Ephes 6.1 2. for this is right and again Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandement with promise and he adds a reason to his counsell on the childs behalf That it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long and happy on the earth The Parents of Tobiah called their son implying what children should be to their parents the light of their eyes to guide and direct them Tob. 5.17.10.5 and the staff of their hand in going in and out to defend them and we have a story of a godly Christian Daughter to this purpose who in part rob'd her child that with the milk of her breasts she might nourish her father imprisoned and almost sterved by the merciless Tyrant Nor doth the Childs duty here end Eph. 6.1 but goes on to what S. Paul taught that children must obey their parents in the Lord that is in all just and lawfull things what ever they command so it be not repugnant to the word or law of the Lord which the same Apostle in an other Epistle commands saying Col. 3.20 Children obey your parents in all things that is as before in the Lord for this is well pleasing to the Lord for obeying them in all things in the Lord in so doing the children obey the Lord which commands this obedience And what the sin or punishment of disobedience is Prov. 30 17. the wise man in part hath told us when he saith The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother the ravens those birds which of all others are least regarded as I told you by the old ones shall pick out and the Eagles shall devour them but the Apostle saying Obey and honour thy father and mother that thy days may be long and happy on earth implies no less then that he who doth not obey and honour them shall have but few or evill days while they live here besides the evill which shall follow after Our blessed Saviour hath pronounced the same plainly and fully saying God commanded Mat. 15.4 Honour thy father and mother and he that doth contrary let him die the death Prov 30.11 And yet such ungodly children have been found of whom the wiseman speaks there is a generation that curseth their father and such saith the Prophet are those who dishonour their parents Mie 7.6 and such was the accursed Cham Ge. 9.22 who proclaimed the nakedness of his father yea monsters of men have there been whom I am ashamed to name Nero who in an inhuman manner ripped up that womb of his mother where himself lay but I will tell you of the sons of Sâ—nacherth 2 King 15.37 who fearing that their father would kill them in hope to prosper thereby as Abraham did in sacrificing his son slew their father Against which sin of paricide or killing parents the wise law-giver Solon provided no law because he thought no man could be so desperately wicked as to kill and destroy him that under God gave him life yet the Romans in detestation of this so unnaturall a sin decreed a death unheard of untill their times which was that such a parent-slayer should be closed up in a leathern sachell together with a viper art ape and a cock and so to be cast into the river to be gnawed upon to be drowned and to be sterved to death When God promised Abraham to be his exceeding great reward he replyed to Godand said Lord God wherein wilt thou reward me or what wilt thou give me seeing I am childless wherein he implyed all temporall goods and blessings were as nothing to him without an heire and then the word of the Lord came unto him saying thou shalt have an heire come forth of thine own bowells Hezekiah likewise when the Prophet told him he should dye wept that he should dye childless And barrenness or want of children is in holy writ often called a reproach yea and pronounced by God as a punishment but on the contrary a great blessing to have children Insomuch that David repining as it were at the prosperity of the wicked he reckons this as one of their greatest Psal 17 24. That they are full of children and that they leave their substance to their babes and in another psalme Ps 115.14 God will bless them that fear him and will increase them more and more them and their children and again Loe children are an heritage of the Lord Ps 127.3.5 and the fruit of the womb is his reward for they are as arrowes in the band of a mighty man and therefore happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them for they shall be able to speak with their enemies in the gate that is in the gate where the Judges sate where their children shall stand up to plead for their father and in the field they shall be as arrowes to defend him against his enemies It is storied that when Croesus was ready to be slain that his son who till that time was dumbe and never could
full of them in which blessing the woman hath not the least share for she is the quiver which keeps and yeelds the blessing of such arrowes as are children Yea S. Paul saith 1 Tim. 2.15 the woman shall be saved in child-bearing if she continue in faith charity holinesse and sobriety Yet because simply and absolutely all children are not blessings therefore to make them such Ps 128. the Psalmist saith they shall be as Olives now the oyle of Olives is not only good to smooth the countenance but to expell poison or poisonous cares from the heart and such shall the children be of the virtuous wife and the good husband and though these Olives must not hold the like place with the wife to be on the side of the house yet they shall be round about the table there ready to wait and serve both father and mother at their call or need in all faithfulnesse and obedience as they are taught by the Apostles S. Peter and S. Paul 1 Pet. 1.14 Tit. 1.6 And yet I cannot promise that this blessing of having children shall overtake all good husbands and wives no nor that all such as have children shall be blessed in them For the Psalmist restrains this blessing of good obedient and faithfull children only to such Parents as fear the Lord Loe thus saith the holy Ghost shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord Ps 128.4 and I cannot but observe that King Davids were good till he became bad but when once he deflowred Bathsheba the wife and murdered Vriah the husband then his children committed uncleanness and rebelled against him The fear of the Lord in the parents begets and preserves the fear of the Lord in the children and this the parents ought to observe and do not only for their childrens good but that their children may be good and a blessing to their parents CHAP. XXXIX Of the mutuall love and duty between Parents and Children ONe especiall end of mariage is the propagation of children and therefore from mariage and the duties thereof we shall proceed to that between parents and children and herein considering whence children come to see the love and duty of parents to their children and the return of honour obedience and other duties of children to their parents The Hebrews say that God keeps the keyes of the womb and of the grave which agrees with that that he kills and he gives life or more neerly as to our purpose children are the gift and heritage of the Lord but by the agency and instrumency of the parents so that they are as slips or ciences taken from them and this makes the relation between them so neer that some have observed that when God said A man shall leave father and mother for his wife yet he saith not he shall forsake children for his wife for though the man and wife are as the Apostle phraseth it joyned or glewed together as made into one flesh yet except Eve no wife is out of or a part of the mans flesh But I speak not this to lessen the relative love between husband and wife so much as to heighten that which is between parents and children And this is so great even in all sensitive Creatures beasts and birds that not only the Lion Dog and Bear but the Doe the Ewe and Hen will oppose the strongest creature and interpose between them and their young hazarding their own lives to preserve that of their young ones And it hath not been less seen among men for so we read that Octavius Albanius keeping a castle beseiged when one cryed out your son without is in danger to be slain he suddenly sallied out for his rescue though with the loss of his own life an other hearing that his son was sentenced to death for a murder he appeared before Charles the great swearing it was he that slew the man and thereupon was put to death thereby to save his sons life and Agrippina mother of Nero being told that it would cost her life to have her son Emperour answered So he may be Emperour let me die and how much short is the affection of Jacob to his children Joseph and Benjamin or that of David to Absalom Gen. 42.38 when Jacob said If mischief shall befall Benjamin it will bring down my gray haires with sorrow to the grave and he hearing that his son Joseph was dead he rent his clothes put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for him many days and would not be comforted saying I will go down into the grave unto my son Gen. 37.35 and how much short of this was Davids expressions for the death of a rebellious son who though he sought his fathers crown and life yet the father thus passionately laments him 2 Sam. 1 33. O my son Absalom my son my son Absalom would God I had dyed for thee O Absalom my son my son It hath been a question whether the love of the father or the mother be the greater to the child and if we answer by the consideration of examples we shall leave the question unresolved For as we found Jacob and David most tenderly loving so the like we shall see in Rachel Ge. 30.1 who sels her husband to Leah for mandrakes whereby she hoped to get children which she so much longed for that she cries out give me children else I dye and having lost them she weeps for them Jer. 31.15 Mat. 1.8 and would not be comforted because they were not But if we consider the mothers pain in breeding danger in bringing forth and her care and trouble in their first training up we may conceive that her love exceeds especially if we add hereunto that which the Prophet saith if a mother he saith not if a father but if a mother can forget the child of her womb which may seem to intimate that a father may sooner forget the son which he got then the mother which bore him in her womb which womb nature as the Anatomists observe hath filled with most tender affectionate baggs membranes veines and sinewes thereby to make her more loving to the child Gen. 29.32 and if to this we add what Leah speaks who having born a son unto Jacob her husband she saith now my husband will love me Then we may conclude that the mother for her own sake loves the child more tenderly or fondly but the father for the childs sake loves him more wisely and strongly or we may say that the man and the woman love their child as Alexander was said to love his two intimate friends Ephestion and Parmenio who loved the former as a fine delicate man and such women delight in but Parmenio he loved as a brave man for action and such a wise father is pleased with And from hence we may assoile an other question why both father and mother oft-times loves one child better then an other as Rebecca did Jacob the younger more
himself under the Law and the Gospell Deut. â— 5 Thou love him with all thy heart and with all thy soule with all the strength and faculties thereof For as a great Prince coming to an Inne takes up all the rooms in the house not holding it to stand with his state to have any stranger a sharer with him so is it and much more with God And that again because as S. John saith 1 John 3.20 God is greater then thy heart so that all is too little for him though he hath all And if he will not endure that one Temple shall receive both his Ark and the Idoll Dagon will he be content 1 Sam. 5 in his bed-chamber which is mans heart to endure his enemies the World the flesh and the Devill to have their abode or to lodge there No one saith Christ cannot serve two Masters I am sure not two such that are so contrary and opposite as God is to the Devill the World and the Flesh neither saith S. Paul 1 Cor. 6.14 can light dwell with darknesse nor Christ with Belial The Prophet Elijah saith unto the people 1 Kings 18.21 How long halt ye between two opinions if the Lord be God serve him but if Baal then follow him God will not cannot endure any corrivall much lesse any bedfellow with him in the heart of man Moses tells Pharaoh Exod. â—â— that God will not suffer him to leave so much as an hoof behinde in Egypt when he goes to sacrifice to God for the least possession is a kinde of engagement against God The world or the Devill like the counterfeit mother cries divide it let me have a part t is no matter which living or dead so God hath not all to himselt alone whereas the true mother of the living child â— Kin. 3. will admit of no division but she will have all or none and such is Gods desire for if the heart be divided as Hâ—sea speaks of Israel â—os 10. it is as the childe divided which cannot live to the true Parent But O man consider how reasonable and just God is in requiring thy whole soule and how unjust and unreasonable thou art in denying it him entire or dividing it in parts betwixt him and his enemies Consider I say when he created the goodly universe of this world and so gloriously adorned and furnished it not onely with the fruitfull plants and fragrant flowers but with those bright Lamps in Heaven that he made all this and gave it entire to thee alone making thee the sole Lord thereof in respect of any other creatures over all which also he gave thee temporall power and dominion and as though in this he had shewed but half or indeed but the least part of his love consider that God himself gave himself wholly to thee was incarnate suffered died rose and all onely for thee and not for any other And is not this argument sufficient that the least thou canst return in gratitude should be thy heart entire not to be cut into parcels or shreds some whereof to be given to the giver of all and the rest to his and thine own enemies But some perchance may say though this is just and reasonable which is required yet it is most difficult for man clothed with flesh to performe this duty so strictly commanded to love God with all the affections and thoughts of the soul and these ever to be fixed on him and nothing else neither on parents friends or things of this life In answer hereunto I must tell you that God knoweth what we are and whereof we are made and therefore in this strict command or absolute request of all our love he prohibits us neither to love parents children friends no nor the things of this world so we love them with these two rules or cautions 1. That we love neither friends nor things on earth with such a degree of affection as may alienate or divide our fouls from God And therefore God himself hath not onely commanded us to love our neighbours all our neighbours of what rank or distance soever so they be men and to seek in the second place things necessary for the life and well being of our selves and those who depend on us and for whom we are to provide but hath figured the fame in proportioning our heart which though it hath a large and broad superficies upward to look and dilate it self to Heaven yet it hath but a cone or small point downwards to the things beneath The second caution in our love to any thing besides God is that whatever we thus love it must virtually tend and move to the service and glory of God And in this our love resembles the point of the needle in the Sea-mans Card or the Geometricians paire of compasses the former of which though it be ever moving and as it were casting about to severall parts yet it still returns and reteins its whole setled course to the true pole star and the latter though the one foot of the Compasse circuit and surround the circumference or globe of the earth yet the other stands ever firm and constant to the point which point here as that star before in this our application is God So that God who without any shew of covetousnesse in himself or wrong to thee might require all thy substance all thy actions and all thy time wholly to be dedicated and spent on his immediate holy service yet grants rhee the fruits of thy honest labour thy wealth and bids thee give his poore onely th t which thou mayest well spare and of the fruits of thy increase he takes onely a tenth and from thy worldly travails onely a seventh part and that Love which he wholly and entirely calls for is the affection and love of thy heart Shall I summe up all There is none so ungodly in this world but assents to this generall doctrine that God is to be so loved as he requires but all the question and difference lies in the performance and manner of loving for the most wicked in some sort may be said to love God But how and why for it is but with a carnall or worldly minde and to their own end and behoof as by him to enjoy life health wealth pleasure and delight and so they love God for these things that if he would confirm his letters patents unto them that these they might perpetually enjoy they would readily release unto him all the grant and interest made to them in Heaven On the other side the true lovers of God so love the world as that thereby and therewith they may the better serve him and promote his glory without which they desire neither the things of the world nor long to continue in it They love these things so as a man doth his horse his cloak or garment the one to carry him through his journey to his Inne and the other to keep him warm and
shall deliver me from this body of sin or sin say some in the body About the year 1533 arose in Germany one John Becold better known by the name of John of Leyden a tayler but a pestilent Anabaptist who bewitched the people by bis false visions dreams and prophesies to follow him He taught and caused the Ministers publikely and commonly to preach it that a man is not bound to one wife but that he may have as many as be desired and he swore by the holy Bible that this doctrin was revealed to him from heaven He and his disciples being asked how they could defend so foul and gross a tenet answered 1 That Christians must give up what they loved best which women held to be their bodies 2 That for Christs sake they are to undergoe any infamy 3 That Publicans and harlots shall enter into the kingdome of heaven 4. Which was the opinion and argument of the Câ—pocâ—atian hereticks that as all Christians should be as one spirit so they ought to be as one body each to other And this lying with others besides their wives to colour the sin they called spirituall mariages as though there could be any thing spirituall in this so foul corporall beastliness The ground of these most wicked doctrines in many of these recited hereticks was and is that most wicked tenet now defended by the Antinomians 1 Tim. 1.9 and Adamiticall Ranters so called of our times viz. Be or beleeve in Christ and sin if you can for being and beleeving in Christ justifieth and to or against the Just there is no law I might tell you that such doctrines and such doings cannot be the fruits of faith or justification and therefore they neither rightly beleeving nor being truly justified are condemned by the sentence of Gods word Exo. 20.14 which saith thou shalt not commit adultery and no unclean person shall inherite the Kingdome of heaven Eph. 5.5 But recitare as S. Hierom speaks est consutare to rehearse these damnable doctrines is to condemn them in the judgement of all good Christians I leave them therefore and shall touch upon the duties of man and wife each to other and in this I shall follow the Apostles S. Paul and S. Peters method who both begin with the duties of wives as though these should provoke the husband to his or as though the wife could not so justly expect the husbands duty which is love unless she first performe hers which is subjection And I find the Apostles insisting urging and inculcating this lesson wives obey 1 Cor. 14 34. Eph. 5 24. Col. 3.18 1 Pet. 3.5 wives reverence wives sear wives submit and wives be subject to your husbands Yea it was Gods sentence from the beginning and given to all women even to the greatest and to the best Thy desire shall be subject to thy husband Gen. 3.16 and he shall rule over thee And where God commands there should be no dispute but simple obedience And yet God considering womans backwardness to this duty is content to subject his command to reason and therefore by his Apostle S. Paul he gives one reason for this subjection of the wife when he saith Adam was not deceived but the woman 1 Tim. 2.14 and therefore fit it is she should be subject to the guidance of her head the wiser a second reason may be collected from S. Paul 1 Cor. 11.9 v. 10. that the man was not made for the woman but the woman was made for the man and for this cause the woman ought to be covered which was a sign of subjection A third reason is given by the same Apostle Ephes 5. Ephes 5 21 22. where having given the precept Wives submit your selves to your own husbands as unto the Lord for saith he the husband it the head of the wise even as Christ is the head of the Church S. Paul commands wives not only to submit and be subject but he saith the wise must reverence the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 there implyes a reverence proceeding from fear v. 33 yet no servile base fear but a loving or a fear to give him offence because she loves him as she is commanded Tit. 2.4 And this kind of reverence fear or subjection arising from and coupled with the mutuall love of the husband to the wife and the wife to the husband makes it such a subjection as S. Paul speakes of though in another case 2 Cor. 3.17 saith where that the Spirit of the Lord is I say where love in the Lord is there is Liberty And such as Christ speaks when he saith Mat. 11.30 my yoke I may say the wives yoke thus fastned is easie and the burden she beares by such her subjection is light for love makes all easie and light And yet that wives may not grumble or dispute against their subjection as too unjust servile or hard let them know that their subjection to their husbands is but as to the Lord Eph. 5.22 which 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as to the Lord means not that the wife must be a subject to her husband as to the Lord God but it teacheth that she is to be subject to her husband according to the Lords command Gen. 3.16 or according to and so far as the husband shall command agreeable to and not repugnant to the word and will of the Lord. For if the husband usurpe a power or command contrary to the Lords word Act. 5.29 the wives answer and obedience is that of S. Peter We ought to obey God rather then men And a subjection to the husband if such as God commands or such as is suitable to the will of the Lord should be willingly entertained and imbraced by every good woman who desires to be a wife and yet to make this subjection more readily to be imbraced let the wives know that the words which the Apostles use when they call for this submission or subjection in wives signifies to be under their husbands will and power according to just and comely order and not simply to the husbands unlawfull or unlimited will which orderly subjection of the wife according to order is that Politicall or Oeconomicall disposure by which the wife according to Gods ordinance and appointment is to be inferior or under her husband so that he as the head is to rule and she as the body is to obey her husband And that wives erre not or come not short in the performance of this duty the Apostle hath been very carefull to set down the qualifications and necessary concomitants of this subjection when he bids the woman submit Eph. 5.22 which teacheth her it should be spontaneous and voluntary and not a forced subjection 2. That it must not be a carnall worldly but an holy submission for as to or as in the Lord. 3. It must not be a partiall lame subjection in some things which the wife likes and
which I leave and commend to your reading and meditation A sixth is that the wife be nor apt to resist or crosly to reply against her husband Prov. 15.1 The wise man in generall tells us that a soft answer frangit reads the vulgar breaks anger wherein is a mystery that that which is soft can break and it can be no less then a secret in nature infused by God into the soul of man and note that woman though at first she were made out of a rib yet that is not so hard as some bones and it was out of the husbands rib too that it should not resist him who was the matter of her being Fire we all know will soon break out by the collision or clashing of two hard matters as iron beating on flint but rub a thousand weight of oyle or feathers against twenty flints no fire will issue and lightning and thunder breaks the sword in the scabbard A woman complaining that her husband was so waspish and crosse that she could not contain but reply her neighbour taught her this remedy that while her husband was chiding she should hold water in her mouth till his fit was over which with thanks the woman found to be an especiall remedy I have red that anciently among some Greâ—ks the Bride on the day of mâ—riage was presented with a horse bridled and sadled not to teach that she should be ready to ride and gallop abroad but that she should be as that horse with her tongue bridled and silent at her husbands command In a word that I talk not too much in an argument of silence Prov. 31.26 Bathsheba tells the wife that she must open her mouth in wisdome and that in her tongue must be the law of kindness not sharpness or replies but what ever the husband be kindness must be observed by her as a law and by this law she shall find great ease and no small benefit to her self For the wives gentle meekness which is a seventh necessary requisite is like goats milke to an adamantine husband which as is storied will of it self dissolve the hardest diamond which no iron steel or the like can do For the soul of man as the Pâ—ilosopher observes is a generous and noble piece which though it cannot be drawn or forced yet it may be led and won Or like a strong well fenced Castle it may be mined but not battered S. Paul to win the Thessalonians made himself like a Nurse 1 Th. 2.7 which stills and gaines the love of the Child by lullabies a merry note and the dug and not by curstness 2 Tim. 2.24 25. Gal. 5.22 or blowes And the servant of the Lord who desires to win soules and bring them to Christ must be gentle patient meek for this is the fruit of the holy Spirit which descended on Christ in the figure of a Dove a Dove which as they say hath no gall neither can she chatter though offended but only mourns In a word the Psalmist saith the wife must be as a vine not as a scratching bramble no nor though sweet as a rose yet she must not be pricking as a rose but as the vine which brings not forth sowre but pleasant grapes to make her husbands heart not sad but merry For close of this if the husband be a Naball a churle a fool a distempered person let the wife learn to be an Abigail who would not move or stir him to choler or griefe when he was in heate of wine 1 Sam. 25 36. but after his rest when she found him well tempered then she speaks unto him and gently too I will summe up the duties of a wife with that precept of S. Paul which I will read as the Hebrews Tit. 2.5 backward or beginning with the last first and the last duty here exprest is that she be obedient to her husband and that is to be wrought or caused by the next before it when he commands her to be good that is benign gentle courteous The third duty ascending is that she be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 like the tortoise except on sufficient cause ever in her shell that is an house-keeper or housewife The duty preceding this is that she be chast for this chastity is a great preserver of retiredness when on the contrary gadding abroad is no great friend to chastity The duty first here placed and which is first in repute and esteem is that she be discreet and prudent Which vertue is not only a great help to preserve chastity and to keep the wife at home but an especiall cause or worker of the wives courteous carriage and due obedience to her husband according to that of Salomon Prov. 19.14 Ecclus 26.14 A prudent woman is the gift of the Lord and a silent and prudent woman is the gift of God So S. Paul in setting down the commendable virtues and duties of wives begins with this let them be discreet or wise for without this they will hardly be châ—st Seldome housewives and never good and obedient to their husbands To this observation I may add one more as the last to this point that neither the Apostle nor any other pen-man of God ever commended beauty wealth honour as to be sought after in the choice of a wife But house-wifery chastity gentleness obedience and the crown of all prudence and therefore I should never counsel any to make choice of a woman in mariage who is confident of her wit wealth beauty or birth nor the woman to be maried to that man that presumes on his wisdome wealth power or honour for when these are over valued in either each will undervalue the other to contempt or at least to some discontent I have been long I hope women will not beshrew me for it in setting down the duties of wives to their husbands I shall be shorter and I wish that they would not blame me for it in the duty of the husband because as Christ and the Apostles spake of the law so the whole duty of the husband is comprised in this one word love So that though under love both in the law and the husbands duty many things are required which are not simply and properly called love yet all these flow and stream from this one spring of love and this is the cause that S. Paul only saith Eph. 5. Col. 3. husbands love your wives Now love being 1. naturall 2. carnall 3. politicall 4. divine I may say in a qualified sense that all these loves are commanded the husband under this one word love a naturall love because the woman was of and from man being flesh of his flesh 2. the carnall love because thee shall be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 into or one flesh 3. politicall for a sweet society and peopling the world 4. a divine love 〈…〉 be in holiâ—â—â—â— such as Câ—â—â—â—â—hawed compriseth all that possibly any woman can require or desire from her husband For
an house to keep it from shaking and falling and this is required in the love as in the name and title of husband And yet S. Paul inlargeth this love of the husband to his wife Ephes 5.29 when he tells the husband that he must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 he must nourish and cherish her not feed her only for so he must do his servant but the word minds somewhat more to feed her with the best and so to nourish her and not only thâ—â— to nourish but to cherish which may be 〈◊〉 â—etaphoricall word taken from hens hovering over and covering the young ones defending them from the sharpnesse of the weather and warming them by her feathers and the heate of her body The plain and full sense of the word you may finde in the 1 King 1.2 where the Shunamitsh damsell is said to cherish old David lying in his bosome and giving him heat 1 K. 1.2 and thus the husband by the precept and rule of S. Paul is to love his wife when he saith he must nourish and cherish her And to this end that the wife be not driven on all occasions to run to the husband for her nourishment our holy and wife Leiturgie hath taught that at the mariage the man is to endow his wife with all his worldly goods and as a token and earnest hereof he usually gave her both silver and gold which is near to the Jewish ceremony though far enough from any superstition or Judaisme for the Romans used this ceremony in their mariages that the Bride being brought home to her husbands house she openly proclamed ubi tu Caius ego Caia which Erasmus translates thus Where thou art Lord or Master I am Lady or Mistresse whereby she hath an estate for maintenance so far as the husbands ability can extend both in his life and after his death The Apostle S. Peter hath added another duty of the husband as a fruit or effect of his love to his wife when he saith 1 Pet. 3.7 Give honour to your wives Whereby it appears that although the woman be in her self or otherwise honourable yet by mariage the husband adds to her giving her the honour of a wife according to that mariage is honourable in all even in the lowest Heb. 13. because God hath sanctified and honoured it by his institution and blessing he being as at first to Adam and Eve the Contractor the Priest and the Father to give the woman to the man for so it is said Gen. 2.22 the Lord brought her to Adam Again when the Apostle saith the man must give her honour as to the weaker may it not be fitly understood that if she hath any defect weaknesse or infirmity comâ—on to all or some more then usuall yet the husband â—s to honour the wife by concealing and covering them from others and to cure and to comfort her in and against these infirmities as he would do his own body Which agrees with that of S. Paul Ephes 5. and with that other Eph. 5.29 1 Cor. 12 23. 1 Cor. 12. our more uncomely parts we adorne most Another sense there may be of this which agrees with the words and forme in mariage prescribed by our Leiturgie where the man saith with my body I thee worship whereby he doeth as it were appropriate his body to his wife in respect of all other women and this agrees with that of S. Paul that men must so far as may stand with chastity modesty and his ability give her due benevolence for he is not sole Lord or Master of his body but his wife herein is copartner or cape-master and this S. Paul speaks fully 1 Cor. 7.4 and plainly Other appendant or subordinate duties are required from the husband under or flowing from this great master duty love 1 Cor. 7 3. Col. 3.19 as that the husband must yeeld his wife due benevolence 2. That he must not be bitter or sharp but gentle and apt to passe by infirmities and offences of his wife as of the weaker vessell A 3. requisite duty of the husband is that the husband live with his wife according to knowledge 1 Pet. 3.9 so that as he is the head of his wife so like an head he may be able to guide and to direct according to knowledge in Gods and mans laws And this may be one reason why S. Paul suffâ—rs not a woman to speak in the Church but to learn of her husband at home 4. When the Apostle tells the husband that he must love his wife as Christ doeth his Church Eph. 5.25 it is hereby implyed that as there can be no greater love then this nor any greater spur to this love then what the Apostle gives that the wife is the husbands flesh and body that he is her head and that God hath commanded this love so that love to his wife being such as Christs was to his Church therefore it must be a chast not a wanton and carnall love an holy not a worldly or profane love a sincere hearty not a faigned hypocriticall love and lastly not a temporary and fading but a perpetuall love to hold as the bands in wedlock till death depart the one from the other or both together And be thy love such it will so help at least to temper and qualifie all stragling wild passions towards thy wife that seldome if ever thou shalt be angry with her but sure never to be jealous of her fidelity to thee Which jealousie as it is like the Hemlock in the Prophets pottage destructive to all matrimoniall peace and blisse so is it often conceived without a father brought forth without a midwife and cherished without a nurse or at least without any that thou canst prove to be such for if the woman be so wicked as to play false the Serpent is not more wily then she to conceal it I observe that when Christ told the woman that she had submitted her self to six men Joh. â— she concluded that sure he was a Prophet and so when Christs feet were washed and wiped by Mary Lu. 7.3 Magdalen the Pharisees argued were he a Prophet he could have known that Mary Magdalen was a loose woman So from both passages it may appear that it was hard for any unlesse a Prophet who had revelations supernaturall to discover and find out a false incontinent wife and better I hold it if the thing prove too apparent to dissemble it as Jacob did his daughter Dinahs wickednesse then to blow his horn at the door or to proclaim it in the Market place I end all this in one word of exhortation Pe not to thy wife as a Lion in the house Ecclus. 4.30 but as a Lamb or be in this as a Dog that is curst to strangers or strange women yet to be kind and affable at home for this will beget preserve and increase the reciprocall love of thy wife to thee which
not in others which pleaseth her not but it must be perfect and totall in all the husbands just and lawfull requirings therefore v. 24. as the Church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing 4. It must not be a false eye-pleasing or counterfeit subjection before her husbands face only or in his hearing but as that of Sarah who called him her Lord 1 Pet. 3.6 and that as it is exprest to testifie her sincere and hearty subjection it is said Gen. 18.12 within her self or to her self in her heart she calls him Lord. And all this ought to be as fully performed by every wife as it is clearly exprest by the Apostle for it is not only the Apostle but the Lord that commands this subjection and obedience and therefore not the husband only but the Lord God is disobeyed when the wife submits not in all as required and exprest to her own husband I may I must adde that when S. Paul commands wives to submit to their husbands Eph. 5.22 as to the Lord it implies that by this submission with love fear reverence and obedience she should confide in depend and rely on him and on no other earthly creature before or comparatively to him for he is her head And certainly when all this is required by S. Paul 1 Cor. 7. â—3 â— Pet. 3.1 and by S. Peter of evill and unbeleeving wives much more ought the Christian good wives yeeld to this doctrine and be subject to their husbands and this as in Gods most holy word so in our sacred Leiturgie is required of the wife that as the husband must love comfort and give honour to his wife so she must love honour I and which is no where required of the husband she must serve and obey him And yet lest any husband should force the words too far he must remember that though the wife must be as the vine on the side and not on the top of the house so she must not be set in the Cellar or Cole-hole this is not her seat but on the side of the house And as she was not taken out of the head of man to rule or to be a ruler so she was not made out of the foot to be scorned abased or to be trod upon but out of the side as to be cherished and made much of as being in domesticall affairs in the Kitchen Parlor and bed-chamber coequall as taken out of the side of her husband and set with him on the side of the house S. Paul gives some additionall qualities requisite in a wife Tit. 2. as that she must be chast purely chast the word implies so much and that she must be devout holy and not phantastick or humorous in her habite or dress of attire Beauty in wives oft-times is a great enemy to those two and therefore though beauty be not to be despised or neglected being it is the gift of God so great care is to be had that this beauty prevail not over or against their pure chastity and decently holy attire for beauty oft-times and in too many begetteth pride pride costly dresses costly dresses gadding to be seen not at home to please the husband so much as to be seen abroad and this gadding is oft-times the mother of temptation temptation of being seduced to evill and lust for as many beasts are hunted taken and destroyed for their fair skins so it fareth with women Bathsheba's words to her Salomon are worth the fair womans remembrance and consideration Prov. 31 30. Favour is deceitfull and beauty is vain but the woman that feareth the Lord shall be praised let the fear of the Lord be in her esteem her chief beauty and then the beauty of her body shall not suffer prejudice but be as a gracefull outward ornament according to our proverbiall word gratior est virtus veniens è corpore pulchro more amiable is virtue which proceeds from a fair body and this may serve as a watch and guard over the wives beauty And for her habit and attire 1 Pet. 3.3 S. Peter gives good instructions and saving caveats when he saith Let not her adorning be that outward plaiting the hair and wearing of gold and pulting on costly apparell in which precept the Apostle simply condemnes not the wearing of costly rich apparell or the most comely dressing but the excesse herein which discovers the vanity and disease of a soul distempered with pride profusions superfluity inconstancy the too too much redundant and luxuriant humours to call them no worse which abound in women and the old adage hath a good reason in it ex veste hominem by a mans or womans attire or dressing you may give a great guesse what their soul is I would all great as good women Esther 14.16 would remember the words of Esther Lord thou knowest my necessity that I am to goe so richly attired for I abhor the sign of my high estate wherein I shew my self before the King and that I abhor it as a menstruous rag And if any tell me that such attire and dressings are not in themselves simply evill but things indifferent I must tell them that though the dressing and attire be such yet such attire and dressing mostly proceeds from a mind tainted with pride excesse affectation or desire to satisfie lust and these are not things indifferent but evill and such as the root is such will the fruit be and if the root be only fit for hell fire I know not how such fruit should reach or carry the body up to heaven S. Peter therefore having taxed the excesse in outward apparell he proceeds to teach women wherein their comely dressing should consist 1 Pet. 3. â— 3 4. which saith he should be inward in the adorning the hidden man of the heart for wise Cato hath told us long since that they who spend too much cost or time in adorning the body generally neglect the adorning of the soul the ornaments whereof S. Peter in the same place tells women should be of a meek and quiet spirit and this saith the Apostle is of great price in the sight of God and closely he implies the reason hereof when he addes that this ornament of the soul is not not like the beauty of a flower or a beasts skin which soon fadeth or is destroyed but it is saith he incorruptible it cannot be spoiled or vanish but will remain in esteem and honour with God and man for ever And S. Paul as he gives counsell to women from the same spirit so t is very near unto S. Peter in the expression of it when he saith 1 Tiâ— 2.9 v. 10. women must adorn themselves in modest apparell with shamefastnesse and sobriety not with plaited hair or gold or pearles or costly array but that which becometh women professing godlinesse with good works I must not say that here the Apostle forbids the
wearing pearl or costly array unlesse it be an enemy unto modesty shamefastnesse sobriety or an hinderer of good works but rather then any of these be hindered or diminished away in Gods name with pearles and costly array The great Philosopher Aristotle setting down the qualities and duties of a good and fit wife saith she must be apt to rule within doores according to the will of her husband 2. That she neither carry our nor take in ought against her husbands mind 3. That she be cleanly and handsome to please her husband and not fine and trim to please other men 4. That she be no busie-body in others houses or affaires 5. That she should observe her husbands qualities and conditions that so if they be good she may follow and teach them if ill to avoid them her self and as much as she can to weed them out of her husband or by little and little to wean him from them 6. That with a godly and loving fear she be carefull not to give her husband cause of offence and if he be offended or troubled with discretion and meeknesse to pacifie and mitigate his passions 7. To be a compatient or fellow-sufferer as a true yoke-fellow in all estates as well in adversity as in prosperity We read that Admetus being sick and the Augures inquired of how he might recover they answered it could not be but by the death of his best friend which his wife hearing answered he cannot have a better friend then me his wife and thereupon to recover him she killed her self I propound not this as a thing to be imitated but to shew of what power the compassionate love of a wife is to which I might adde that of Phinehas his wife who upon the report of her husbands death 1 Sam. 4.19 fell in travail and died and from these and many the like instances we may conclude that the compassionate love of women to their husbands is as Salomon said Gent. 8.6 as strong as death And now having touched some duties and qualities of good wives I shall add a few observations or exhortations if you please to call them so whereby wives may the better be inabled to performe those duties and to make those qualities be more gracious and seem more glorious And the first shall be that the wife learn to be obedient to her husband with a loving fear as well in his absence as in his presence For though the husband happily in some respects may be inferior to her yet she having yeelded to be his wife she hath withall made him her head and it is an honour to the wife to reverence her husband that he may appear to others worthy of honour The second is that she be modest and bashfull even in her greatest desires and best delights fire being blown may seem to resist the breath although by it it is kindled Nolo nimis facilem saith one Poet I refuse the too easie yeelder and fugit ad salices se cupit ante videri saith another she fled to the covert and seemed desirous to be first seen both intimating that a gentle and modest refusall provokes and inflames desires I observe that Rebecca when she had travailed many miles uncovered now approaching near the place where Isaac her husband was to meet her that she then put on her vaile that love or desire in women is most to be esteemed when she seems to refuse with one hand yet ready to entertain and imbrace her husband with the other A third may be that she be not garish in her dressings or to disguise her self with spots patches or paintings I have read that a Judge who perswaded the husband who had put away his wife to take her again being so fair and comely the husband answered that it was not his wife for she that accompanied with him at home was none such and indeed though wives generally say all their dressings and slâ—bberings is to please their husbands yet I may answer with that of S. Augustine to covetous fathers who pretend all their care is for their children saith the father vox pietatis it is the voice of piety but indeed excusatio iniquitatis it is but an excuse or cover of their iniquity For observe when Jezebel paints and when Esther puts on her bravery the first doth it to appear not to her husband but to Jehu whom she would inflame and the other to Ahashuerus whom she would inamour I pray observe that when you would make the child leave the dug you smear it with mustard or the like such are Mercury waters or such slâ—bbers to a good and wise husband neither can this counterfeit beauty or artificiall dressing so much allure or please the husband for the time as the wives ordinary familiar homelinesse will distast or take off at all times else The fourth observation is that wives as they are called so they should be house-wives For so saith the Psalmist Thy wise sall be as the vine about thy house Ps 128. not in the streets or fields but on the sides of the house The males only were commanded thrice a year to go to Jerusalem to serve the Lord Exod. 24 but not the wives but the husbands were to go so far from their own homes And the spouse called his beloved a Dove Cant. 2. which delights her selfe only in her mate at home and he courtech her to solace her self in the clifts of the rocks not in the markets exchanges or play-houses yea when the Spouse invites her to recreate her self with the flowers figs and pleasant fruits her answer is Dilecius meus mibi all my delight is in thee my Spouse Armenia being asked by her husband Tygranes how she liked the King answered that she looked not wishly on him for her eyes were all the while on her husband A fifth may be that the wife though she be fair rich or honourable yet ought she to be frugall and carefull for the estate at home The Germans used antiently to present a yoke of Oxen to the new maried couple intimating thereby that they as yoked should draw together and S. Paul calling mariage 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a yoaking together 2 Cor. 6.14 charges the man and woman not to be unequally yoaked The Greeks when they would express a careless prodigall wife called het Ocnus his Asse for this Ocnus being a rope-maker that laboured and wrought all day yet before night his Asse eat more then he got by his work you may adde that if an Oxe and Asse be yoaked if the Oxe draw never so much and the Asse hang back so little good will come of their yoaking that as a father said in another case non solum non trahunt sed rumpunt quod junctuÌ„ est they not only draw not but break what was joyned I can conclude this observation with no better counsell then that in the Proverbs Chap 31. from the 11. verse to the 25.