of the owner to be vsed euen so children well-taught are at the commandement of godly parents 5. Lastly Iet parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another which do not their dutie in bringing vp their children as they ought to do First they transgresse the law of nature which telleth all men that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly Secondly they sinne against God for they despise the commandement and authoritie of God for he commandeth that children should be brought vp religiously and honestly but he is a despiser of God that refuseth to do as he is commanded Thirdly they offend against their owne credite and estimation For Gods will is that parents should after a sort be in his stead so farre foorth as pertaineth to outward discipline But such make small account of this dignity who neglect their dutie in this behalfe Parents are further to vnderstand that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to haue their children taught to pray to God and to rehearse the Apostles Creede and the ten Commendements For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather be inclined to godlinesse and reuerence towards God so as they increase in age they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne to their owne comfort instruction and saluation Also the tongue is called the glorie of man because that besides all other reasons by his speech he is discerned from the bruit beastes so it is meete that so soone as the child can begin to speake his tongue should be employed to glorifie God by calling vpon him and by learning some short Catechisme containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion as also in repeating the will of God in such sort as he will that we should serue and honour him If parents do note and perceiue any vice in their little ones as swearing lying choller enuie filching couetousnes contempt of parents readinesse to strike and other like corruptions it is their duty diligently and in time to reproue and correct them as men vse to pluck vp weeds while they be yet yong lest growing vp among the good seedes they should hinder their growth and choke them vp By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones do lay their limmes right each in his place likewise if a child be giuen to be left handed they chide him yea sometimes they bind it vp or otherwise restraine the vse of it that he may be accustomed to vse his right hand Also if the child haue some string vnder his tongue they cut it lest it should hinder his speech much more then ought they to beware that through their negligence the vices of the soule do not increase For it is the dutie of the parents euen in the infancie to begin to shape and frame the foule vnto vertue It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and rcade for it may be vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account then mony And therefore the negligence ofmany is sharpely to be reproued besides that the performance of this dutie doth greatly binde their children vnto them Neuerthelesse the principall end thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present-life but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation Also it 〈◊〉 their parts to vse them daily to reade some Chapters of the holy Scriptures thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holy Ghost by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare Therefore if parents do looke that their children should obey them then let them ioyne and accustome them to Gods word which will redound much to their parents profit If they cause their children to heare and read the holy Scriptures therein they may learne Honour thy father and thy mother but if parents do otherwise then they traine them vp in the Scriptures of diuels whereout their children will learne most wicked things but it is not so when they are instructed in the holy Scriptures Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them namely to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare ofGod and in the faith of Iesus Christ Deut. 6. 6. 7. and 32. 46. Ephes. 6. 4. So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age It is then great folly to linger children in the learning of vaine 〈◊〉 and vnprofitable things which as they grow in years they will contemne and forget Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course trade or other estate wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men and verily such fathers as do neglect that are vnworthy to haue children But as the soule is more precious then the body so is the dutie of parents in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things wherewith in age euen in this life they may glorifie God and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge or bevnwilling to take leisure to teach them yet let them do as much for their childrens soules and the life to come as for their bodies and this present life Parents that either cannot write and reade or will not or haue no time to teach their children will yet send them to schoole and such as would haue them learne some art or occupation or traffique if themselues professe not the same wherein they like to employ their children they will yet put them to dwell with those that do professe the same to the end they may learne How therefore can parents excuse themselues when their children remaine vntaught in those things that concerne the glory of God and life euerlasting But howsoeuer it be if they be neither able of thēselues nor do prouide to haue them taught by others they shall be inexcusable in the sight of God the ignorance of the children ingendring contempt of God loue of the world and neglect of heauenly felicitie will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents so that if they account not their children as beastes without soule or if they loue them with the due loue belonging to parents let them declare their loue especially to the soule the Christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure Some say it would be a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neare kindred and consequently their children and this commeth of naturall affection But might it not be a greater discomfort for them
A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods Word Wherunto is adioyned in a more particular manner the seuerall duties of the Husband towards his wife and the wiues dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their children and the childrens towards their parents The Maisters dutie towards his seruants and also the seruants duty towards their Maisters First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused amended and augmented by Iohn Dod and Robert Cleuer ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BERNARD What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy Name of our Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour LONDON Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man and are to be sold by Arthur Iohnson neare the great North doore of Pauls Church 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVL MAISTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall one of his Maiesties Iustices of peace in the County of Warwicke to the right worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the Father by Iesus Christ and constancy in the truth of the Gospell to the end and in the end Auing collected finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising very carefully with my selfe to whom I might Dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage therof then some such meete persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall charges the seuerall points and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherupon calling to minde the holy exercises daily vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all iointly Patrons thereof First for that I acknowledge my self beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintanoe with you and therefore left I should deserue the blame of vnthankfulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your Names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of marriage so also you are and haue bin a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of Gods word and Religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly wold yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeares in an idle condition or to hide my talent in a napkin I haue bene no lesse carefull then willing to labour other wayes to do what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings For such Housholders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long enough talke of Discipline and still complaine of the want of Church gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their owne houses according to the direction in this Treatise and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their familie at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profite little For although there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in truth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in truth they were disordered and are still corrupted and marred at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnes which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden duties are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to be practised within their seuerall housholds For if Parents and Housholders shall performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meate drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and infidels do yeeld this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullockes should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a Christian housholder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants as much more Christian care then he hath ouer dumbe and insensible beasts that so he may receiue a singular comfort from the daily contēplation of their increase in spirituall graces Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder when he hath bene so diligent and carefull in the training and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and wayes of the Lord that he may rightly deserue to haue this worthy report and commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly Namely that he hath a Church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed as the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly house-keepers Aquila and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19 as also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are in the Lord to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of his Couenant or at the least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding that their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children and seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alas many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing moued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know
to consider Gods ordinance his promise and their owne necessity c. by commanding them to lay aside all such cares thoughts and affections as might hinder them from a diligent hearing To the Sacraments they must prepare them by willing them to consider of Gods institution the ministerie of his Sacraments his mercie in Iesus Christ their faith their repentance and their wants that so seeking assurance of grace of reconciliation and comfort they may come preparedly to the Lords table Againe to further their profit they must diligently examine them what they haue learned what vse they can make of such doctrine also helpe and direct them wherein they faile Thus did our Sauiour Christ his Disciples Besides they must call vpon them for the practise of that which they learne out of the word that the word grow not to a common matter of no further vse but to talke of vpon the Sabbath day The fourth speciall dutie that belongeth to instruction is the vse of Gods workes either past or present as of examples of his mercie and goodnes to be encouraged by them to trust in him by workes of his iustice to be moued to feare him and so to sow the seed of conscience and religion in them Thus did Abraham Gen. 18. 19. which care of his moued the Lord to reueale to him his purpose of destroying the Sodomites The duties which they are to require of them concerning godlines be to vse the publike ministery carefully to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sorts and to make their vse of it to the building vp of themselues in faith And 〈◊〉 to practise all holy and Christian duties which being comprised briefly in the Commandements are more largely layed open by the publike ministery of the word and by priuate Catechizing But after what maner must they require these duties We answer not onely by telling of them what they must do and calling vpon them for the doing of it and by gentle admonition when they be backward but also by correcting them if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practice thereof This correcting is either by Rebuking or Chastising them according to the quality of the fault the condition of the partie that is so to be dealt with A rebuke is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour or knowne wickednesse of any with condemning of the same by the word of God whereby they may haue shame that others might feare Correction is a sharpe thing and therefore not easily borne of our nature which is full of selfe-loue and through the corruption of nature it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnesse sturdinesse and naughtinesse where it is not wisely dealt in Now the better to minister correction with more hope of doing good by it we must consider First the end of correcting Secondly the matters for which correction must be giuen Thirdly the manner of correcting 1. The end in correcting must not be to wreck and reuenge thine anger or malice or to reuenge thy selfe for any iniury done nor yet alonely the preuenting of the like hurt by the like fault afterward but in zeale of Gods glory who is dishonored by the lewdnesse of the offender and in loue to the party thou must seeke by wise correction to reclaime him from such euill as bringeth danger to him to make him more carefull of his duty afterwards Herein they faile who in correcting haue no respect but to their owne commodity 2. For the matters that deserue correction this is a rule that there must be no rebuking much lesse chastising but where there is a fault For where any is vniustly corrected besides the iniury it hurteth him by hardning him against iust correction For he will thinke that it is the rash hastinesse of his gouernor that putteth him to smart and not his owne desert By fault I meane not onely the committing of that which was forbidden but also the omitting of that good which was commanded But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction sometime ignorance mistaking ouersight and a desire to please in one thing maketh inferiors to offend in others Except there be contempt or willing negligence or retchlesse ouersight a gentle admonition may serue And indeed superiours must take heed of comming to the greatest remedies of correction too soone for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing which by a wise proceeding by degrees might haue bene gained Furthermore Gouernors must know yet more expresly for what to correct Some neuer correct but for their owne matters neuer regarding the faults committed against God But the godly gouernour that aimeth at Gods glory and seeketh the Lord and not himselfe is most grieued for those disorders in his family that tend to Gods dishonour and such he correcteth most carefully And as for the defaults of his family that are against himselfe he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them then to his owne hurt or losse in zeale of God is drawne to correct and not of selfe-loue He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction if any delight in the ignorance of God or be carelesse to approue himselfe as one that wholly dependeth on him loueth him feareth him reuerenceth him laboureth to approue all his wayes before him if any be giuen to idolatrie and superstitiō careth not in euery part of the worship of God to follow his reuealed will or if in the parts commanded he appeare negligent cold or put them to any other vse then is commanded or be giuen to images or superstitious monuments customes occasions or such like if any dishonour the name of God either in the vnreuerent vsing or abusing or 〈◊〉 and not vsing it with that preparatiō before feeling at the present time and fruit after which is prescribed his titles word Sacraments or works if any prophane his Sabbath by vaine pastimes and gaming as cards dice dancing c. going to playes or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed for that day out of the Word if any neglect speciall duties towards their equals superiours or inferiours in yeares gifts authority as Magistrates Ministers Maisters parents seruants children or people if any declare not a conscience to fly euill anger malice contention quarelling fighting or any hurting of the person of man either in soule or 〈◊〉 being carefull to succour the same according to his calling if any be found vnchast in bodie words countenance or gesture vntemperate in diet in apparell dissolute not caring to maintaine the contrary holinesse in himselfe and others if any be not carefull to preserue the goods of another man or shall by falshood flattery and oppression diminish the same if he be negligent in increasing of his owne by honest and lawfull meanes or mis-spend them in cards dice gaming c if any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to
all other And this doth God declare saying Let vs make Adam as helper like vnto himselfe By the helper is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice and by the similitude and likenesse are signified loue and helpefulnesse For a seruant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place there can neither be so much loue and ability to minister helpe and comfort to a man as will be found in a faithfull wife The child is part of the father and through a naturall pitie they loue each other but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children but the children seldome labor or take paines for their fathers and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses whereby in a manner it appeareth that their streight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake but the wife cleane contrarie doth continually take paines for her husband who may as long as she liueth neither change house nor bed If commoditie and prosit be looked for no commoditie excelleth this if thou shalt loue thy wife thou shalt liue most pleasantly if not thy life will be most miserable and wretched For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee nor any thing more happy then to loue him that loueth thee Therefore loue that thou mayest be loued Now we will in few words shew the occasions of Wedlocke why and wherefore it was ordained and for what purpose it should be contracted that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent when either of them granteth to marry the other Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be but that marriage which was ordained of such an excellent author as of God himselfe and in such a worthy place as Paradise and of such an ancient time as in state of Adam and Eues innocencie and after such a notable order must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordinance of it Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefly three causes thereof The first is the procreation begetting and bringing vp of children Gen. 1. 27. 28. 9. 1. For in the children do parents liue after a sort euen after death And if they be well and vertuously brought vp God is greatly honoured by them the commonwealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them For they are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late but neuer an apt haruest yong branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow c. But more of this shall be said after in the dutie of Parents Although marriage be an holy and sanctified ordinance yet none may vse the benefit of it without some acknowledgement of originall sin in that vncleannesse may be practised therein which should cause Gods children to vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be and husband and wise to keepe themselues together in the feare of God and in all modestie and sobrietie If then in marriage it selfe there be such mischiefes what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes which are not expressed with these considerations So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate to giue libertie to their wiues in vncleannesse nor wiues to consent with their husbands in impuritie by immoderate intemperate or excessiue lust Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse c. 1. Tim 4. 4. 5. Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife when it is with her as it is common to women c. Ezechiel 18. 6. Leuiticus 18. 19. 24. 22 and 19. 18. This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Canaanites out of their land The second occasion why marriage was ordained was that the wife might be a lawfull remedy to auoide whoredome fornication and all filthy vncleane lusts 1. Cor. 7. 2. 3. c. Touching this point I will say no more for it is handled at large by others already and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it The third and last cause was for mans commoditie to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse that the one may helpe comfort the other in sicknesse in affiction and in all houshold cares and trouble as education of children and keeping the family in order For this cause old men and old women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by God himfelfe an helper and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly do say and as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one againe if we could be without women we should be without great troubles These and such like sayings tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiseretly do vomit out contrarie to the minde of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordained as a helper and not a hinderer And if they be otherwise it is for the most part through the fault and want of discrerion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned together they may the more easily dispatch their handy businesse and houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hand or one foote if by any meanes he get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth or go whither he will euen so he that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable commodities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersity the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wits both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and leude women yet that doth no more proue the malice of their nature then of men And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like fury vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and companie of the husband and wife is made amiable sweet and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue 〈◊〉 forbearing mutuall loue and by dut 〈◊〉 performed busily and godlily on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place for there
he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought to loue his Wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly their cousin doth aide and helpe them and that she in like manner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her friends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsemen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any And thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties which are to be performed of the husband and the wife are either pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues 1. The first common dutie is prayer that they pray together by themselues For as they are to pray with others in their families for things which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posterity and that in the birth the childrn be comely and not monstrous in comming forth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well-carriage and good behauiour as likewise for their houshold and diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike familie As Isaack and Rebecca besides the prayers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams family did also pray together priuatly as Gen. 25. 21. it is said Isaack prayed before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another As the husband is to admonish the wife and also to teach her so the wife is to admonish the husband in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5. 13. 14. heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Iordan according to the saying of the Prophet so in like manner the husbands duty is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet so as when he faileth in duty he is to heare her good counsell and admonition either concerning heauenly matters or earthly affaires she notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnder him and in humility confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell 1. Pet. 3. 7. Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues are First the holy familiarity which ought to be betwixt man and wife wherby they haue a more familiar vsage one of another and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another then any other parties whatsoeuer in regard whereof Abimelech king of Gerar after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife She is my sister seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly knowing that familiarity which ought to be betweene the husband and the wife and knowing that Isaack was a godly religious man and therefore would not vse that kind of behauiour to any other woman saue to his wife discerned thereby and concluded certainely that she was his wife howsoeuer he had denied it before Noting that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man saue her husband and contrary that the husband ought not to vse this familiaritie with any other woman which he doth with his wife And therefore Pro. 5. 19. we see that the wife should be to him as the louing Hinde namely delightfull one in whom he may delight that as the Hart delighteth in the Hinde so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him 2. Againe there is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues to wit that neare coniunction euen in regard of their bodies for an holy procreation of children in respect whereof the Apostle saith The husband hath not power ouer his owne body but the wife c. Onely when it is with the wife as is common to women Ezech. 18. 6. or that she be sicke of her disease he is not then to haue the vse of her body c. Such as do aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimony are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God And hauing attained to that estate ought to vse the benefit of marriage as an holy ordinance of God in all godlinesse and puritie for a remedie against the weakenesse of the flesh and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie True it is that honesty of marriage grounded vpon Gods ordinance doth couer the shame of incontinencie yet not so as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate by admitting all things but that they should so vse it as there might be no excesse in dissolutenesse neither any intemperancie contrarie to the holinesse thereof So that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse is fornication When God created the woman he said It is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helpe meete for him but whatsoeuer is said of the woman that she should be an helpe to the man must also be put in practise and exercised by the husband to wards his wife according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul 1. Cor. 7. whether in auoiding fornication whether in procuring generation and the education and bringing vp of children whether in maintaining a family or for the seruice of God and saluation of soules Hereby it euidently appeareth that the dutie common both to the husband and wife importeth that the one should aide and helpe the other First that they may leade their lines in chastitie and holinesse Next to auoide fornication So that the dutie of the husband and the wife consisteth in this that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond and infringing and violating the saith of marriage by fornication or adulterie which is a detestable sinne in the sight both of God and man If such as wanting the remedy of marriage by committing fornication do incurre an offence worthy euerlasting damnation what may those deserue who hauing
without comparison more straite and bindeth them each to loue other much more then the coniunction whereby man is vnited vnto his neighbour But this is the mischiefe that in many their loue is not grounded vpon the vnion of marriage but vpon beautie riches and other carnall and worldly considerations subiect to change alteration and losse This corruption that respecteth beautie is olde and noted to be among the causes of the floud The sonnes of God saith Moses seeing the daughters of men were faire lusted after them and tooke them in marriage But indeed it is money that maketh loue and riches ingender affection witnesse the experience of our dayes Yet such loue resembleth onely a fire of straw which is but a blaze and is soone out vnlesse it be continued with great wood or other like substance Loue growing of beauty riches lust or any other like slight vncertaine and fraile grounds is soone lost and vanished vnlesse it be maintained with the consideration of this vnion of two in one flesh and the vertues thereto adioyned therefore must euery man thinke vpon this vnion in marriage that he may enioy nourish continue the loue that there of proceedeth the rather because such loue is the nurse of concord that maketh marriage happy as contrariwise the want of this loue is the fountaine of strife quarrelling debate and other like afflictions that conuert the paradise of marriage into a hell For dissention betweene man and wife is the trouble and ouerthrow of the houshold They that wil auoide such strife must therefore loue each other and especially they must haue care hereof when they are first married For as a vessell made of two peeces and glewed together may at the first be easily broken but in time groweth hard so is it also with two persons that are glewed or ioyned together by the bond of marriage This loue the mother of peace will ingender a care and duty each to support other and so to practise the same which Saint Paul requireth in all beleeuers that is To be gentle one to another friendly and each to forgiue other euen as God hath forgiuen vs through Christ. Let the husband think that he hath married a daughter of Adam and all her infirmities and likewise let the woman thinke that she hath not married an Angell but a child of Adam with his corruption And so let them both resolue to beare that that cannot be soon amended Let not the body complaine of the head albeit it haue but one eye neither the head of the body albeit it be crooked or mishapen Such defaults do neuer breake vnion and loue betweene the head and the body neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife infringe the loue that proceedes of the vnion and coniunction of mariage If the husband be giuen to brawling or the wife to chiding let them both beware of giuing any occasion The bell hath a loud sound and therefore he that will not heare it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it so if the one will begin to chide without a cause let the other be either deafe and so not heare it or dumbe and so make no answer So that where the husband is deafe and the wife blinde marriage is quiet and free from dissention Whereby is meant that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband as if she saw them not and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife as if he heard them not Neither can it be any reproach to the husband and wise so stedfastly vnited to practise this dutie considering that Dauid protesteth that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies They that seeke after my life lay snares and they that go about to do me euill talke wicked things and imagine deceit continually But I as a deafe man heard not and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth Thus I am as a man that heareth not and in whose mouth are no reproofes This vnion betweene man and wife doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth saying For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother and cleaue to his wife And also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like duty toward her husband Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parents but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife is greater then betweene the children and the parents And indeed the true loue of the husband to the wife and the wife to the husband surmounteth all loue of children to their parents The husband and the wife haue their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commodity The wise it more obedient to her husband and the husband more desirous to please his wife then their Parents yea and at length it falleth out that they depart from their parents to keepe house by themselues And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachel being sisters and the wiues of lacob For lacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban boldly made his moane to them Whereupon they also complaining of their father agreed with lacob and consented together to leaue their father and to follow their husband lacob Herein likewise consisteth another dutie of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband namely that they shew no greater secrecie or communication of their houshold affaires to their parents then mutually each to other and this rule is especially to be put in practise when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues For if the husband shall complaine to his parents of his wife or the wife of her husband such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife But if it should grow to any complaint it were requisite so discreetly to prosecute the matter as that the wife should come to her husbands parents and the husband to the wiues parents So would all cause of iealousie ceasse and the complaint procure most assured remedy This loue and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie common both to the husband and the wife And that is that they neuer seeke neither once thinke of diuorce And to that end let them remember what is written That which God hath ioyned together let no man put asunder Likewise that nothing but adultery may separate those that are vnited by marriage All other agreements and contracts made by mutuall consent may be broken and dissolued by the like consent of both parties but in the contract of marriage Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse yea he receiueth the promise of both parties as a ioyning them in that estate And this doth Salomon note where he obiecteth to the harlot that she hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God But Malachie speaketh more plainely and giueth a reason why God punished such husbands as
sted-mother that is one father and one mother dyeth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therefore to the end that both their loues may be seiled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did You must not looke vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people that he would be worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to them as Dauid came to the people after Saules death who said Though your Maister Saul be dead yet I will reigne ouer you So ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children will loue you as much as they did their dead father or dead mother For that man that is led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one And likewise she will account her selfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both For if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that they haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same which is the highest degree not onely of friendship but also of all bloud and kindred But step-mothers do more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections be stronger then mens and many times ouer-rule them and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned that they shew to those motherlesse children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnesse Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in steast of their owne mother to be to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and that he requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe wold it be to her heart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne body should after her death haue a step-mother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them Doubtlesse those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therefore alwayes haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto others so it shall be measured to you againe that is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children For he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not be like a stead-mother to hers vnlesse she be like a stead-mother to these Verily a good woman will be vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what Christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mitigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken and chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweete name of Mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and mind when she shall heare her selfe named Mother by any of her husbands children Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkind then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kind fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnesse and mildnesse vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kind louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of Mother 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the duty of wiues is that they do not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with gold but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God they be sober in outward apparell garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenesse meeknesse quietnesse and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie Chap. 2. vers 10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plaiting criping broyding curling and curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in few words then he hath spoken to the vtter dislike thereof For if a man should occupie himselfe and giue liberty to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride that many women are guilty of in this behalfe he should rather want time to write then matter to deliuer Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish them but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may be teene in Esay 3. 16. c. For so it falleth out according to the common Prouerbe that pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrary part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparell as best beseemeth their calling and degree So as by their good example they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe and so rather come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any way to exceed therein to the slander of their profession And let them not so much regard what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well be without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children THis dutie consisteth in foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen frō the cradle in the feare nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shame fastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue
Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlinesse and vertue Fourthly that they keep them from idlenesse the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good art or occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and truth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is First that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become Citizens of the Church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall die in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place But alasse there be few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to be remembred that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speed to present the child to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example Luke 1. 3. Gen. 21. 3. And it were a thing to be wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them with children would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holy Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and Christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holy Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to 〈◊〉 and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them And yet we haue to remember that those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of the 〈◊〉 Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly and Christian names vnlesse that they do imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloud shedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors 〈◊〉 descend of noble parentage maketh men noble and renowned indeed vnlesse they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodly children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life we do heare or do speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisine secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeateth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen them and would thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of his couenant so likewise after the same manner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember and beare in minde that we are by grace adopted to be the sonnes of God and receiued into his fauour and therefore that we are Gods owne and as it were his goods and riches who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they may assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercy would vouthsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke and consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their own industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himself hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought forth into the light and indued with body and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God hîs first patterne 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt with all in order Vnto the body they owe nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometimes correction that they may keepe children in awe Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God by the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parēts ought to be most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes. 1. 4. Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his Religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their mothers milke and straight-wayes after their cradle may be nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children do the parents liue in a manner after their death And if they be well instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the Common-wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer apt haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoot them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shaftes the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children their parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesie Yea and further as arrowes are at the commandement
euen in their life time to see them go to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination be a great helpe to profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and sharpe them that way yea euen such that by experience we find this old Prouerbe true Vse ouer cometh nature as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber and letting it lie long in that bent it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good seed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase iron weareth with handling the water by continuall dropping weareth the stone wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome are brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wiz most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remēbring that a seale entreth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales baudie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children lest they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old Prouerbe saith halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tye a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation or to learning then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall be religious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God In the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth men to enquire of his or her truth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a maister before they make enquirie of his honestie and Christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When men buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken lest they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie yet do they not sound whether the maister to whom they commit their child be vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some do respect their friendship with some maisters rather then their vertue and so do commit to them their children lest they should be angrie for putting them to another These men do resemble and be like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest liaue any weightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a voyage through some dangerous sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because he is thy friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profit honour safetie and saluation of thy childe Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may either spare or get worldly goods Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure and accustome them to vertue and indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed do far excell such as onely do beget them for of these they 〈◊〉 life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens maisters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and go forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the maisters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The maisters eye fatteth the horse and this The maisters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men and women for their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his houshold to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne 〈◊〉 to serue God with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his houshold Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothie that she nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God and to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they do amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding and abhominable in their doing ignorant and voide of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must be diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honesty themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the yong learneth such a father such a sonne such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours
Elie was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes which is a notable example necessary for all parents to imprint in their hearts that they may see their children well taught and corrected lest they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon thē as it did vpon this Elie who honored his children aboue the Lord and therefore the Lord cut him and them off For the comfort he had of his sonnes was this the Arke the witnesse of the Lords presence was lost thirty thousand of the people slaine his two sonnes Hophni and Phineas killed himselfe when newes thereof came vnto him for sorrow fell backward and brake his necke vpon this his daughter in law fell in trauell and in trauell dyed the remnant of his house were glad to craue and beg for a small peece of siluer and a morsell of bread Also the two and forty children that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet saying Come vp thou Bald-head were rent in peeces with beares Thus we see that children vntaught and vnchastized bring shame and confusion to their parents Let them therefore alwayes remember this that they prouide and bestow diligent labour that their children be foorthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse whilest their wits are yet voide from cares and vices and whilest their age is tender and tractable and their minds flexible and readie to euery thing for then they will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts if they be taught them For this is certaine that we remember nothing so well when we be old as those things we learne in young yeares It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straight way while it is moist to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilest they are new to die and litte the wooll while it is faire and white and not defiled with any spots The Emmets or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes in Sommer whereby they should liue in winter Bees learne not to make their cells to gather iuyce and to make honey but all these things be done by instinction of nature So euery liuing thing the lesse meete it is to learning so much the more it hath of natiue prudence but man neither can eate nor go nor speake except he be taught Then if fertile fields for want of tillage waxe barren if trees being neglected either bring forth no fruite or else the same vnsauourie without diligence or grafting and pruning if dogs be vnmeet to hunt the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto how vile then and vnprofitable creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught his horse well broken his land well husbanded his house goodly trimmed and richly furnished and yet to haue his child shamefully rude in manners and altogether voyd of all garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse What a great folly and madnesse is this for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions and to haue no regard of his child for whom the same is gotten This is no lesse shame to heare then if a man taking thought for the shooe would set nought by the foote or with great care and studie would prouide that there should be no fault in the childes garments not regarding the health of his body This is as the common saying is to be penny wise and pound foolish to saue a sticke and burne a house to saue a ioynt and lose the body But oh vaine man hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne faire buildings and full of lands then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse and so leaue him a vertuous consceince Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him with rust and moth to be consumed then to teach him the knowledge of God which will not canker but last for aye Most parents a pitifull thing to remember be louing to the bodies of their children but their soules they care not for they desire their welfare in this world but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come Yea fathers prouide lands rents reuenues great annuities fees and offices for their children here but alas few prouide or be carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewaile and much Iament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckoning of If they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sinne and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents do carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and so by good meanes admonish and draw them from their sinne As parents be carefull to prouide temporall things for their childrens bodies which are transitory so much more carefull ought they to be to prouide spiritual things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeares of discretion and this is the most acceptable seruice that they can do to God Children are called the fruite of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing foorth good fruite so parents should shew their goodnesse in the good education of their children which are their fruit To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Prou. 22. 6. is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to do it For who should teach and informe the childe but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them and they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparent euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruite beasts to bring vp their young And further this dutie is yet enforced from the opportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grew or sprong vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soyle best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children be not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the
child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dug you shall sooner be heard of your children then either the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam and so all other after him haue bene a meane of falling to their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue bene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this all parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer ceasse vntil they see in some measure the beauty of the first Image and the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these do prooue Deut. 4. 9. and 11. 18. 19. Ephes. 6. 4. Psal. 78. 5. And because this duty of parents is many times committed to Schoolemaisters to Maisters of families to Dames to Patrons and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the Almighty to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to be eschued are these First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they be not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a duty and therefore they must indcuour to get so much nurture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelyhood and necessaries for their children they care for no more The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate and drinke enough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly-beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may lose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to hold them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and well disposed to traine vp youth in all good nurture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so often as conueniently they may repaire vnto them and see how they profit and hold them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to be good vnto them in this chiefe point aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue so we may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckoning of their seruants then they do of their bruit beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God because they are contrary to good nurture and godly instruction Parents must be very carefull that their children may learne some occupation or profession of life and this is either mechanical which we call handicraft or liberall which is the learning of schooles and the end of this is either to get their liuing honestly and in Gods ordinance or else if they want no maintenance to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth No childe of what birth or stocke soeuer he be ought to want this instruction and bringing vp If thou say my childe hath no neede of any trade yet the Common-wealth and Gods Church hath need of him for no man is borne for himselfe but his friends will require one part his kindred another and his countrie the third And if handicrafts like thee not thou hast the liberall Sciences of which no man euer was yet ashamed but many haue made them their crowne of glorie Saul was annointed King while he was seeking his fathers Asses and Dauid was taken from the sheepefold to feede with his wisedome and gouerne with prudence that honourable people the children of Israel And againe we reade that those two famous Prophets Elisha and Amos the one was called from the plough and the other from keeping of beasts which examples do plainly teach vs that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life be it neuer so meane but crowneth it with his blessing to draw all good minds to his holy ordinance But now adayes such is the pride of our hearts a thing to be lamented through all our land that many gentlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade Oh it is too base and beggarly for them they must liue of their lands they must maintaine their gentrie a small learning will serue their turne but in the meane while this ordinance of God is neglected what misery from hence ensueth Who are the wasters of patrimonies Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common-wealth Who are the deflowrers of maidens Who are the defilers of 〈◊〉 Who are the corrupters of youth and to speake in one word who are the seedes-men of all mischiefe in our country but these children of Gentlemen who haue not bene taught and trained vp in learning or some occupation while they were young For euen as a weed if it grow in a ranke soyle will waxe out of measure noysome so these children coming of honourable and worshipfull parents brought vp in ease and pampered with the delights of gentrie they waxe immeasurably vicious and who may keepe them vnder neither lawes nor Magistrates not any other good meane First parents must teach their children to vse faire speech not onely towards themselues but also towards others and to call their betters by a reuerent and honourable name 1. Sam. 25. 24. Marke 10. 17. Prou. 16. 24. Secondly to speake modestly and humbly of themselues this point of good manners they may learne of that wise matron Abigail in 1. Sam. 25. 41. where we reade that
helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how can hope sustaine these men that others will performe this duty for them to whom this charge doth farre lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remember that therefore they haue disordered and disobedient children to themselues because they haue bene disobedient children to the Lord and disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou maist haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed Bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seede and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seede then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may be an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou ô man ô woman that maist do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for them and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastors paines and the teachers trauell but if thou despisest these duties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon the childe at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God and blesse thy seede if thou beest faithfull thou mayest bothe hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seede and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seede is accursed But had not Iacob wicked children and Dauid vngodly sonnes and doth not daily experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the Couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good childe yet if vnto a thousand generations there be but one good the Couenant is not broken Noither must we tye the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an cuill sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet he may visit the sinnes of some of his fore-fathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second we say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercy to that particular man therein yet he may remember his promise to some of the fore-fathers in the thousand generations going before and though that euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following Wherefore not speaking of Election or Reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God as heires of the couenant or at least be comforted in their owne consciences If their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it yet they may reioyce in this that to the vttermost of their ability they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well and offered them to God And if parents haue cause to be grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griese may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Symeon to depart in peace leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord So in death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him How as much as he could he hath helped them forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut-throat of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their owne soules before the Lord either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and bloud then such as might be like Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their off-spring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they either prophanely neglected all good education or monstroufly misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to do to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they do lye in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soule Let all parents remember that they are bound by the law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest
prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such fathers and mothers as consume and wast away their money and substance vnthriftily by dycing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should be maintained do very vnnaturally sin and breake Gods Commandements The Wiseman sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruite of life and make them alwayes readie to die saying Eccles. 12. 1. Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth As if he should say Be mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or deferre it vntill age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it arose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very wary and carefull that their sonnes and daughters do not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyde of true religion Which if they do they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is and how nigh a coniunction the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones So that we may not imagine that that God which required so neare a coniunction in the outward and inferiour part will suffer the minde and spirit of the husband and wife betweene faith and superstition to be rent asunder Therefore when God said They shall be two in one flesh we may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should be of two one or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnitie and called them Adam Genesis 5. 2. so he gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in minde and spirit and called the one man and the other woman Genesis 2. 22. 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge For this cause shall a man leaue his father and his mother and shall cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and bloud should haue found a dispensation from the Law that bindeth minde and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20. 12. The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife is commended to vs by that most holy coniunction of Christ with his Church Ephes. 5. 2. Seeing that this is a coniunction both of bodie and soule then such as are Christian parents ought to be carefull that their children may reioyce in it howsoeuer it liketh others to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may be to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ. S. Paul giueth this generall rule to all that wil marrie that they marrie onely in the Lord and to marrie only in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and bloud with fauour credite honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true Christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal mariages haue brought forth from the beginning The sonnes of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in a strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse Law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 7. 2. 3. 4. Exod. 34. 16. Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kings 11. 2. Ezra 9. 1. 2. c. and 10. 18. 19. Reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibition serueth not now 〈◊〉 ys as touching Pagans Turks or Infidels but rather we must assure our seiues in the truth and know that no people in the world are more within the compasse of this law then the Papists and superstitious idolaters The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters and such as are of a strange religion and how can he then permit that we should marrie with them He commandeth streightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6. 14. which to do is as vnseemely as an Oxe and an Asse to be yoked together to plough Deut. 22. 10. And how can we possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a liuely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12. 1. But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists we then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can be a sweete smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthening and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded and setled therein that they cannot be remoued drawne from their sound profession yet they must beware that they do not tempt God and venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made a Iudge of Israel a deliuerer of Gods Church and a reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marry one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing-stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudges the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16. 4. 17. 18. c. Salomon was a
merchandise it carrieth about the more need it hath of a cunning ship-maister So the greater the childe is both by birth and by inheritance so much the more neede is it for him to be brought vp in learning and in good literature For learning knowledge and vnderstanding is profitable both for rich and poore so that as the Grecians say he that is ignorant and vnlearned seeth nothing although he haue eyes The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite a day without Sunne a night without Moone or Starres a house without a man and an head without a bodie It is found by experience which is the best Schoole-maister that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberall Sciences so much the more sooner shall be learne his occupation and the more ready and handsomer shall he be about the same And besides all this he that hath learning although it be but small shall much better vnderstand the Preachers and take more profit by hearing of them to his great and endlesse comfort then he that hath no learning Experience also teacheth vs this that goods riches beauty glory and health be vnstable and fade perish passe away come and go but learning and vertue neuer stagger alway be constant Therefore of all the charges that parents be at about their children that mony is best bestowed that is laid out vpon learning especially when they are taught to know God aright and how he will be serued It is a lamentable thing to consider how carelesse some parents are of their children when they put them to the schoole in that they make small account and reckoning to what schoole-maister they put their children to learne so they may haue them taught for little or no cost though their children profit little or nothing in learning so that oftentimes they not onely bestow their money in vaine but also they suffer their children to loose their time which is a thing so precious as it cannot be redeemed with any money and so let them spend two or three yeares in learning that which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilfull schoole-maister learne in lesse then halfe this time if there be any aptnesse and towardnesse in the children Therefore let parents remember that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne vnlesse there be a meete husband-man to till and sow the same so likewise it is not enough to find good towardnesse in your children vnlesse you prouide a meete and fit Schoole-maister to further the same And as Noblemen and Gentlemen are desirous to haue a good and skilfull horse-keeper that can keepe their horses well and they spare not to giue stipends to such euen so much more ought Christian parents to be desirous to haue and maintaine a good Schoolemaister that might bring vp their children in vertue wisedome and good learning And like as if their horle be not well broken or haue any 〈◊〉 qualitie they will be carefull to see it remedied and that he may be made tractable and gentle so likewise godly parents ought to be much more carefull not onely that their children may by instruction be brought to some good order but also to looke that there be no fault in the teacher to whom they commit the care to bring them vp in learning and good manners But alas and with griefe be it spoken many men now a daies albe it they perceiue their children to be toward and apt vnto letters and capable to receiue good learning hauing wealth and riches enough to maintaine them thereat yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat vntill they come to any good perfection some because they themselues do not like of our state religion othersome because they see little preferment and no worldly aduantage to follow learning but great trouble and affliction all which men in this doing declare themselues to be irreligious vngodly and destroyers both of themselues their children and of all Common-wealths and congregations For what publicke wealth Towne Citie or Parish can be well gouerned except the Prince Magistrate or Preacher be learned both in humane and diuine lawes In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion at which time men saw so many spirituall promotions as they then called them vnto rich Bishoprickes Abbies Priories Deaneries Benefices c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sort to the end they might get them to be Priests and so to say Masse and the rest of that idolatrous seruice that so they might liue in ease and idlenesse But now that they see how painfull and perillous a charge it is to preach and rightly to diuide Gods word and to deliuer the same freely and faithfully and also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is to gouerne well a congregation they had rather their children should be bound prentises to some trade or else follow any other profession then that they should study Diuinitie When children were nothing apt to good learning and when there was no good learning to be had no nor good teachers yet then well was he that might set his child to Schoole But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning as it is at this day and learning and all good meanes neuer so plenteously flourishing being restored and reduced into such a facilitie and a compendious briefenesse yea neuer so good learned and skilfull schoole-maisters neuer such plentie of so good and plaine books printed neuer so good cheape the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts as it were into the mouthes of all men few there be that will open their mouthes to receiue them their eyes to see the cleare light nor yet their eares to heare so pure manifest and wholesome and heauenly doctrine euen the word of God the meanes of our saluation It is therefore to be feared that for this our great vnthankfulnesse these so manifold heauenly blessings shall be taken from vs and giuen to some other nation that will both be more thankfull for them and also shew forth better fruites of Christianitie then we hitherto haue done Oh therefore that parents would aduisedly consider that the want of this Christian dutie of the good education of their children is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much miserie both vpon children and themselues yea in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow griefe and shame befalleth many times vpon the fathers and mothers And how cometh this to passe that the parents owne dung is cast in their faces by their owne children in mocking and despising of them and whence arise all these inconueniences before named together with all these grieuous plagues and iudgements of God vpon their children to the consuming of their eyes but from this their owne negligence in bringing vp their children For it is
dutie of Children towards their Parents THis dutie of children as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they obey their parents and do serue them and also do feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their hearts and minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3. Thirdly that they patiently take correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and hearty prayers to God for them 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth AS the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authority of their parents to obey and ferue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and thy mother which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper-hand onely but in this that they loue them with all their hearts that they feare and dread them that they cheerfully do their commandements will and pleasure that they seeke their worship credite profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and that they owe to them euen their owne selues and all that they are able to do yea and more then they are able By this word Honour is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Theu shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to be loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whom next after God they haue their life and being together with so many great and continuall benefits Also the loue that parents do beare to their children besides so many their labours sorrowes troubles and vexations should bind them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heate them that they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones yet the experience and daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot and so take from children their duty to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Christ Iesus said Ye are children of the diuell Ioh. 8. 44. This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely towards such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their maisters euen towards such as be rigorous For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam euen those whom we know not yea out enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents although they should intreat vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deed And verily the principall cause still abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofs and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their child-like affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguisn weeping sorrow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and endure for them This loue must be accompanied with reuerence and respect and to say the truth albeit the name of Father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one Father euen he which is in heauen yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title and Image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon he vnderstanding that his mother Bethshebah was comming to speake with him arole from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and seated her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnesse neither his Royall-estate priuiledge him from this respect and honor due to his mother When the sonne doth execute magistracie or publicke office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a magistrate not as a sonne but when he is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honor or wealth do so despise their parents if they be of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of them So that that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a sonne But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother but said Mother aske and I will not denie thee And this do we the rather note also vpon an other consideration namely that his example condemneth the custome of these dayes wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base and contemptible that the children of Kings Princes yea euen of meane Gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Syr my Lord my Ladie Madame c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implyeth not onely this outward reuerence but also that we should so esteeme of them as that neither we our selues should despise them nor suffer others-to haue them in contempt And this are we to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ I honour my Father but ye dishonour me He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father against the false opinions and slaunders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of them but also will themselues so farre exceed as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lye vncouered called his brethren to shew them
his fathers shame But so odious was this impietie in the sight of God that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost cursed both him and all his 〈◊〉 And therefore we well and truly may say that those children who in stead of defending the honor of their parents do lay them open to shame and reproofe do come of the cursed seed of Ham. This dutie of honouring parents is performed and payed when they do worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them as to thinke that they are giuen to them of God to the end that they should reuerence loue and alwayes haue a care of them if for nothing else yet for the Lords sake who is and doth thinke himselfe despised so long as the children condemne their parents and little regard them So the children honour their parents when with their helpe and counsell they aide them in their old age and vnweildy crookednesse when they ease and helpe them in the time of their need or succour them otherwise in any case else and do wholly bestow themselues and all that they haue to do them good withall yea they ought not to giue them a rough or stubburne answer or once so much as to mumble of 〈◊〉 an answer against their parents neither to smite or curse or speake euill of their father and mother vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same Children ought alwayes to remember that whatsoeuer they do to their fathers and mothers be it good or euill they do it to God when they please them they please God and when they disobey them they disobey God when their parents are iustly angrie with them God is angrie with them neither can it be that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe no although all the Saints in heauen should intreate for them vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother If children and seruants would alwaies keepe in minde this saying so to do and behaue themselues to their parents Maisters and Dames as they would haue their children and seruants to do and behaue themselues to them when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents maisters or dames then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents and maisters and dames more dutifully and faithfully then now they do For let them assure themselues that such measure as they 〈◊〉 mete to their parents maisters and dames such will be measured to them againe by their children and seruants Also the children must be carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers and mothers and to suffer themselues to be gouerned by them and to be mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them And herewithali they must know that they are not at their owne libertie to do as they list so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them and that they must not fall out among themselues but naturally loue and helpe one another And children haue alwayes to remember that they may not in anie case obey their parents when they shall command them to do or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God and yet they are to be thought well of For example Ionathan obeyed not his father Sauls commandement who charged him to persecute Dauid and therefore he is worthilie commended in the holy Scriptures For the duties of the first Table are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second Table This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers ought in very deed to be vnto them as a ladder or staire to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God who is our chiefe Father As children receiue of their parents three things to wit life maintenance and instruction so for these three they owe other three namely for life they owe loue for maintenance they owe obedience for instruction they owe reuerence For their life they must feruently loue their parents for their maintenance they must dutifully obey their parents as maisters and for their instruction they must cheerfully reuerence their parents as their tutors And further children must remember that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents to take of them their beginning of life and that they might nourish and bring them vp and that of rude and almost brutish things they might make them able to helpe and liue of themseluer yea and such mothers as are godly and vertuous do suffer and endure more paine and griefe in the bearing bringing vp and nourishing of their children then the fathers do So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes that Christian parents do for their children greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them and greater is the care griefe and trouble which they take for them then any man how learned soeuer he be is able to expresse And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue to esteeme well to obey to be kind faithfull and dutifull and to reuerence their parents and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the heart yet these were sufficient Maides and young women are to be put in minde and alwayes to remember that the best portion the greatest inheritance and the most precious iewell that they can bring with them on the marriage day is shamefastnesse the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women And therefore they must carefully shun and auoide all idle and wanton talke nice lookes dalliance and light countenance when they walke abroad or be in company A man needeth many things as wisedome eloquence knowledge of things remembrance skill in some trade or craft to liue by iustice courage and other things and qualities moe which were too long to rehearse and though some of these be lacking yet is he not to be misliked so that he haue many of them But in a maid no man will looke for eloquence great wit ordering of the Commonwealth prudence c. Finally no man will looke for any other thing of a woman but her honestie the which onely if it be lacking she is like a man that wanteth all that he should haue For in a maid her honestie and chastitie is in stead of all She verily may truly be said to be an euill keeper that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping and put in trust to her with much commendation of words and especially which no man will take from her against her will nor touch it except she be willing her selfe The which thing onely if a woman remember it will cause her to take great heed vnto and to be a more warie and carefull keeper of her honestie which alone being lost though all other things be neuer so well and safe yet they perish together therewith because she that hath once lost her honestie should thinke there is nothing left Take from a maid or
woman her beautie take from her kindred riches comelinesse eloquence sharpnesse of wit cunning in her craft and giue her chastitie and you haue giuen her all things And on the other side giue her all these things iustly call her whore or naughtie-packe with that one word you haue taken all from her and left her bare and foule How precious a iewell chastitie is may easily be gathered from the example of Dinah the daughter of Leah which she bare vnto Iacob who when he heard that she was 〈◊〉 and defiled by Shechem the sonne of Hamer the Hiuite Lord of that countrie his mind was grieuously wounded with this great shame and reproch Children may not forget this duty for hauing receiued their being from their parents and being brought vp by them with great paines and much cost they should not so much as giue any liking much lesse speech of marriage without the consent of parents or of those which are set ouer them by their parents the duty of thankfulnesse requiring it at their hands And not onely in regard of thankful nesse is this duty to be performed to their parents but euen in regard of their owne inabilitie as being not experienced in such things as their wits being not so ripe as their parents they wanting wisedome and discretion to behaue themselues as they ought For some children know not what is meere and conuenient for them nor whether they be of meete age and condition to marrie Which inhabilitie being in the sonnes is much more in the daughters as being the weaker by nature and more vnable to prouide for themselues and therefore it is necessarie that they should not marrie without the consent and direction of their parents but that they be at their bestowing for to do otherwise is a sinne euen that nature it selfe abhorreth and all sound writers old and new do vtterly disallow And for so much as marriage is the meanes the which God himselfe hath ordained and sanctified for the propagation and increase of mankind that being taken in hand in his feare a godly seed being multiplied and growen vp here on earth the same may be blessed to the constitution and making of a Church the which may serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse when the same is taken in hand with the breach of his commandement so farre off is it that any blessing is to be hoped for that contrariwise his hot indignation wrath and heauy curse hangeth ouer that house and family where the parties which are the principall pillars and vpholders of the same are linked and tied together in such a band of wedlocke whose linkes and inclosings are not fastened and coupled together with the necessarie and lawfull assent and liking of the parents whose authoritie and consent ought to beare the chiefest sway and strike likewise the greatest stroke in this honorable 〈◊〉 And likewise as where marriage is begun and enterprised in the feare of God according to his word there God is well pleased there the parties so matched liue together in a ioyfull agreement linking the one to the other there God is honoured and serued in sinceritie and truth there the children when God giueth them with the rest of the family are instructed and brought vp in knowledge of religion and grounds of faith so on the other side the regard of that which God especially commandeth being shut out of our marriages there must needs ensue his dislike and displeasure there is a iarre and discord there Gods honour is neglected there household discipline and Christian instruction of such as belong vnto our charge goeth vtterly to wracke and is nothing at all regarded And no maruell for if where God blesseth all things go well and do prosper then consequently where he curseth there nothing thriueth hath good successe or goeth happily forward It may appeare by sundrie examples both before the Law was giuen and after that this is a duty required of children towards their parents namely to haue their consent in contracting of marriage as these places do plainely shew Gen. 21. 21. and 24. 3. c. and 29. 19. and 34. 4. Deut. 7. 3. Iudge 14. 1. c. 1. Cor. 7. 36. 38. Whereby is manifestly proued that children ought not to match without the consent of their parents First because it is against the law of nature Secondly because the parents haue authority ouer their children more then they haue ouer their seruants Thirdly because children are their fathers goods and riches and therefore they must not bestow themselues in marriage but must be bestowed of their parents Fourthly because parents haue authoritie ouer the vowes of their children Numb 30. 4. 5. 6. Fiftly if a mans daughter be enticed yet her father may refuse the contract being not auaileable or of any force without his consent Exod. 22. 16. 17. Besides all this what clearer proofe can we haue then the fift Commandement in the which children are commaunded to honour their fathers and mothers with a blessing promised to those which performe the same whereby we gather by the nature of contraries that there is a curse also belonging to all those children that shall dishonour them And in that God willeth that the parents by their children should be honoured he meaneth that they should in all humility and modestie reuerence them with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them and with all willingnesse shew themselues thankfull for their creation education sustentation and all other benefites that vnder God they haue receiued from them being ready by all the meanes they possibly may to imitate and expresse towards them the nature of the Stroke whose property as they write of them is to prouide meate and feed their dams when through age they grow so old that they are not able to helpe themselues that is to say they must to their very vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall of some part of those vnrequitable paines the which their louing parents haue taken with them and make some amends for the vncounteruailable kindnesse that they haue shewed towards them But where they bestow themselues in marriage without the consent of their parents there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respects that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankfull vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that children carry towards their parents a certaine honest and modest shamefastnesse ioyned with a bashfull awfulnesse and standing in feare of them the which worketh in them a conceiuing of such opinion and estimation of them as that they haue an especiall respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things rather of a care to please them then of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth foorth it selfe in that willingly without murmuring or grudging they be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by their parents being ready to do all lawfull things which
they command them and to refraine from those things which they forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindfull of benefits receiued and therefore carryeth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bene pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion be ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnesse And by this familiar description of these three heads wherein standeth chiefely the honour due vnto parents we may clearely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in awfull feare of them as whom they would be loath to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them nor haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friends and parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth nearer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequently they do not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God which without true and vnfained repentance must needs pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his most heauie and hote indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good nurtured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord and in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them in this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed nor euill-fauoured nor of a contrary religion they 〈◊〉 submit themselues vnto their choyce which if for the present or vpon the sodaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choyce but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection and to frame their wills to be plyable vnto their fathers in such lawsull cases For the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it Likewise Absolon vsing wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father for rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end Yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children If any man haue a sonne that is stubburne and disobedient which will not hear 〈◊〉 vnto the voyce of his father and the voyce of his mother and they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him and bring him out vnto the Elders of the Citie and vnto the gates of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his Citie This our sonne is stubburne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a riotour and a drunkard Then all the men of the Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death So thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it and feare For euen as a long and a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient children so on the other side all disobedient vnthankfull and obstinate children are assured of the punishment of infamie ioyned with diuers and great calamities and torments 1. Sam. 2. 22. 1. King 1. 25. c. Deut. 21. 18. c. Prou. 20. 20. 30. 17. And although that the temporall officers be negligent in punishing this disobedience yet shall they not escape vnpunished for the vengeance of God shall accompanie them vntill they be vtterly destroyed For there is nothing more vnnaturall then to see children dishonour and disobey their parents and inferiours their superiours Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the bellie of her dam and seeketh her owne life with her dams death So contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue beneficence and obedience extended towards 〈◊〉 father Iacob and his brethren in that he both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ was also obedient to his parents euen vntill death So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeares to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And S. Paul doth note that it is the first Commandement with promise For albeit there be a promise added to the second and others of the first Table yet this fift Commandemēnt is the first of righteousnesse and none in the second Table besides it hath any promise annexed thereunto For herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to their parents But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnesse and loue towards them It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy the earnest pennie of my goodnesse and grace towards thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs a blessing of God First because we cannot liue long without participating of many great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue glorifie God In confideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord neither any that go downe into the place of silence but we will praise the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezekiah King of Iudah also note in his Canticle The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I do this day the fathers to the children shall declare thy truth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue it to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto them And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne together these two sentences That it may go well with thee and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when
God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans estate whether it be lest malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some greater calamities wherein they might peraduenture be entangled or vpon whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with them But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honour their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children do chance to liue long so farre is long life from being vnto them a blessing that on the contrarie it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condemnation so as they had bene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it be God so disposeth thereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honour their parents are blessed and the others are accursed Eccles. 3. 2. c. And although some parents do not performe those duties towards their children enioyned them from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free from blame and guiltinesse before God For although they can say as the children in Ezekiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that although the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some young men and maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing at the least occasion of good things the rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sinnes vnder their parents defaults are plainly left without excuse and are iuftly guilty of the bloud of their owne soules Labour therefore ye young men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eyes and stay the mournfull and sorrowfull spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if ye haue any nature in you and haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whom ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despitefull violence in that ye are a corrasiue to their griefe when as ye should haue bene a crowne to their comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one speciall propertie of a liberall and ingenious nature to be carefull to liue that in time ye may be a glory to your fathers and a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts and admonitions before said are as a summary of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them do pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents de powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending them so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to be blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaacke to his sonne Iacob doth manifestly declare Gen. 27. 28. 29. What duties Maisters and Mistresses owe to their seruants THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie and comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentises and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing 4. Lastly when correction is necessary that then they giue it them with such discretion pittie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare children remembring alwayes that they haue a maister in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect poken of before in the dutie of parents For so much as maisters and housholders are to their seruants and apprentises in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to with-hold and keepe 〈◊〉 their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their well-doing and good deseruing slenderly but to be carefull of their seruants good estate as of their owne not onely in prouiding for them wholsome meate drink and lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as well in 〈◊〉 as in health liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as Christianity liberality and equality shall binde them but also that they be carefull that they liue honestly vertuously and Christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with too much labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide them when they shall neglect their duty lest they be prouoked with their hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord and maister in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons Ephes. 6. 9. And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithfull labour of their seruants and pay their couenants in a fit and conuenient time lest being compelled by necessitie they should steale Maisters ought not as tyrants to vse their seruants as their horses and asses but to deale with them louingly Christianly because they are all members of one body whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some maisters that vse their seruants and apprentises more like beasts then like men and their owne members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their maister a straight account Oh that Christian Maisters and Mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good and vpright dealing with his seruants which was farre from rigor For he saith If I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maide when they did contend with me that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me what then shall I do when God standeth
16. 20. 21. Psal. 127. 3. See more of this point in the vse and necessity of catechizing The second point Deut. 6. 10. Exed 12. 26. 13. 14. The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to 〈◊〉 them soberly to keepe them vender obedience and to teach them good manners Prou. 23. 13. 19. 18. 19. 15. 17. 22. 15. 13. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 12. 3. 12. 13. 14. 1. Kin. 1. 5. 6. 2. Kin. 2. 23. 24 How children should be brought vp Hold thy children in awe and they shall haue thee in reuerence Prou. 30. 25. and 6. 0 7. Mat. 6. 19. sal 127. 3. lat 12. 33. Reasons Gen. 5. 3. Prou. 18. 21. 1. Sam. 9. 2. c. and. 16. 11. Psal. 78. 70. 71. 1. Kin. 19. 19. Amos 1. 2. Good manners in speech Good manners in gesture 〈◊〉 3. 1. Ioh. 2. 4. Mat. 18. 10. Esay 5. 8. Psal. 37. 35. 30. Psal. 111. 10. Prou. 9. 10. Psal. 19. 7. 8. 119. 105. Prou. 22. 6. Mat. 21. 15. 16. Psal. 82. 2 King 2. 13. 2. Sam. 16. 15. c. 1. King 1. 5. Mat. 5. 8. 1. Thes. 4. 7. Luk. 1.74.75 1. Pet. 5. 8. I am 4. 7. Pro. 18. 10. Psal. 50. 15. Prou. 1. 10. 11 Rom. 12. 2. 1. Ioh 215. Psal. 51. 5. Ephes. 2. 3. Col. 1. 12. 13. 2. Cor. 6. 1. Rom. 13. 12. Esay 14. 12. Zoph 1. 8. Gen. 6. 5. 8. 21. Mat. 15. 19. 2. Sam. 15. all 18. 35. Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit Two things which much hinder good education The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they be well brought vp The second cause which 〈◊〉 good education 2. Sam. 18. 33. Gen. 4. 2. 25. Gen. 21. 2. Gen. 30. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 9. 2. Sam. 22. 24. Luke 1. 13. Children profit more by good example in one month then by instruction in a whole yeare Obiection Answer Zuke 3. 29. Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue to well die well Marriage with Papists c. Gen. 23. 24. Gen. 2. 24. How should it marriage 〈◊〉 well whē 〈◊〉 bridegroome 〈◊〉 such a one 〈◊〉 whom he cannot say God speed because she is one of Gods friends 2. Ioh. 10. 1. Cor. 7. 39. But how do they marry in the Lord who marry the Lords enemies Gen. 6. 2. As the Iewes might not marry with the Cananites so Christians may not marry with them which are like Cananites Gen. 24. 3. 28. 1. Mal. 2. 11. Ezr 9. 14. If adulterie may separate marriage shall not idolatr y hinder marriage which is worse then it Parents may not giue their daughters to a man 〈◊〉 Gen. 34. 14. Miserable is that mā which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion He feareth not sinne which doth not shun occasions and he is worthy to be snared which leadeth himselfe into temptation so maketh a trap for himselfe Luk. 11. 4. The wife must be meete as God said Gen. 2. 14. But how is she meete if the husband be a Christian and sh e a Papist 1. Cor. 7. 1. Gen. 18. 1. 2. Iud. 14. 1. 2. 3. * It is the parents duty to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12. 14. Gen. 4. 2. 3. 4. Ruth 3. 1. When parents do abuse their authority Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects When parents do marry their daughters to men of vnderstanding they shall performe a weightie worke Colos. 3. 21. Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children In prouision of matches for their children parents ought to begin with prayer The third point Examples do much more perswade then words 〈◊〉 must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 As the father beginneth so it is like the son will proceed Gal. 6. 7. Mat. 18. 7. 1. Cor. 15. 33. The last point Gen. 3. 19. Ezech. 16. 49. Prou. 12. 11. 18. 9. 1. Tim. 5. 10. 11. 2. Thes. 3. 10. 11. Idlenesse bringeth much euill Mat. 12. 36. To learne that Science which they be most apt for Obiection Answer Pro. 3. 13. 14. 15. Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning Luke 16. 27. Prou. 22. 6. 〈◊〉 of the eldest 〈◊〉 is athing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chron. 21. 3. Exod. 13. 1. 2. 34. 19. 20. Num. 3. 13. 18. 16. Deut. 21. 18. c. Gen. 35. 22. 1. Chron. 5. 1. a Eph 6. 1. 2. 3. Colos. 3. 20. b Leuit. 19. 3. Num. 12. 14. c Pro. 15. 5. 1. Tim. 5. 4. Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Gen. 47. 12. Fathers and mothers are to their children in Gods stead Exod. 20. 12. Deut. 5. 15. By honour is meant all kind of duty which children owe to their parents 〈◊〉 23. 39. Mat. 23. 9. 1. King 2. 19. 1. King 2. 20. Ioh. 849. 〈◊〉 9. 22. The honor due to parents Childrens dutie is from their beginning to their ending to be subiect obedient and helpfull to their parents Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Exod. 21. 15. 17. Leuit. 20. 9. Pro. 20. 20. 30. 17. Deut. 〈◊〉 16. What children do to their parents they do to God so that they may not purloine or diminish any of their substāce Pro. 28. 24. Mat. 7. 12. Mat. 7. 2. 1. Sam. 20. 28. c 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19. Mat. 23. 9. When a woman loseth her honestie then hath she lost her chiese treasure Gen. 34. 12. Children may not marry without the cōsent agreement of their 〈◊〉 so that an vnlawfull promise made by the child may lawfully be broken It is a sweete wedding whē the father and the mother bring ablessing to the feast and a heauie vnion which is cursed the firs̄t day that it is knit 1. Sam. 18. 1. Contracts void without the consent of parents Children 〈◊〉 are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choyce and to 〈◊〉 their minds to accept of the same 〈◊〉 9. 22. 2. Sam. 15. 1. c. 18. 14. Deut 21. 18. 19. 20. 21. Exod. 20. 12. Ephes 6. 2. Deut. 28. 15. c. Leuit. 26. 14. c. Gen. 46 29. c. and 48. 〈◊〉 12. Luke 2. 51. Deut. 5. 16. Exed 20. 12. Ephes. 6. 2. Psal. 115. 17. 18. Esay 38. 19. Ephes. 6. 3. The housholder is called Pater Familias that is a father of a familie because he should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children Maisters and Dames ought moderatly to vse their authoritie ouer theirseruants Iames 5. 4. Coloss 4. 1. Ioh 13 13. 14. 15. Deut. 24 14. 15 Mat. 8 5. 6. 〈◊〉 7. 2. God made eu ry weeke one day of rest wherein seruants should be as free as their maisters Gen. 2. 2. As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthy his hire euen so much more the 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 eueryday Luke 10. 7. As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18. 5. Iob 31. 13. 14. 15. For a good man sauh Salemon Pro. 12. 10. will be mercifull to his beast therefore he ought to be m re mercifull to his seruants being his brethren Reuiling words and vnreasonable 〈◊〉 doth much more hurt to seruants then good 〈◊〉 16. 17. Exod. 20. 10. 〈◊〉 5. 14. 1. Tim. 5. 8. Seruants do rather imitate the works they see their maisters do then the words which they heare them speake Luke 7. 8. Ephes. 6. 9. The couetous wan in gaining riches loseth himselfe Psal. 39. 6. That which thou canst do conueniently thy selfe commit it not to another Masters ought to make good choyce of their seruants Gen. 30 26. 27. c. and 29. 2. 3. 4. 5 6. 23. 23. Esay 6. 6. It is a rare thing for a maister to bring his seruant to be godly who is not godly him selfe Reuel 5. 10. Act. 16. 31. 32 18. 8. 1. Cor. 1. 16. Ge 18. 17. 18. Phil. 11. 16. Gen. 29. Iosua 24. 15. Psal. 101. 7. Act. 10. 2. They must keepe no idle prophane superstitious nor disordered 〈◊〉 in their house Ephcs. 6. 4. Masters ought to haue a tender care of their seruants in their sicknesse Mat. 8. 5. 6. Luk. 7. 1. The wiues behauiour with seruants The maister must correct his seruants and the mistris her maids Eph 6.5.6.7.8 Col. 3.22.23.24 Tit. 2.9.10 1 Pet. 2.18.19.20.21 1. Tim. 6. 1. 2. Luk. 17. 7. 8. 9 1. King 5. 13. The property of a good seruant Gen. 29. 18. 19. 20. 39. 5. c. Gen. 16. 7. 8. 〈◊〉 Phil. 10. c. How far forth seruants ought to obey their maisters Mat. 8 9. And among seruants to helpe and ease of one another necessarie Seruants must to the vttermost of their power seek the commodity benefit of their maisters Mat. 7. 2.
vs and all our familie in the night from outward dangers and giueth vs freedome from feares and terrors and from Sathans rage and also giueth vs rest comfortable sleepe for the refreshing of our fraile bodies is it not meete we should begge it at his hand by prayer before we prepare our selues to rest and praise him for it when we rise from it Againe seeing that euery day we are subiect to innumerable dangers which we know not of and both wisedome and strength to follow good and honest callings and also the blessing vpon our labours to make vs prosper by them are from God alone should we not begin the day with feare vnto God for his gracious protection and for his mercifull blessing of vs And seeing meates and drinks are sanctified vnto vs on Gods part by the word and ours by prayer doubtlesse though God hath by his word sanctified them they are vnholy vnto vs when we do not for our part sanctifie them by faithfull prayer and thanksgiuing And this was Dauids practise Psal. 55. 1. Euening and morning and at noone tide will I pray and make a noise and he will heare my voice If any say it is sufficient for the gouernour to charge euery one in his familie to do it priuately by himselfe so might the Prince say it is enough to do as Darius did to charge euery one in all his dominions to worship no God but Daniels God Yet godly Princes thought it their dutie to set vp the worship ofGod in their dominions and to take order that God might be worshipped publickely and ioyntly of all in their land So did Iob for his houshold not onely bid his children pray to God by thēselues but he appointed set times of praying together and sacrificing and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto Againe if the maister lay the matter vpon the consciences of such as be of his family then if they be negligent God shall haue no honour and worship in that family But we reade of Abraham that wheresoeuer he became he built an altar to God where God should be worshipped ioyntly in his familie If God should measure out his goodnesse to thee as thou measurest honour and glory to him in what a case wert thou He doth giue a charge to his Angels to keepe thee he commandeth the earth to allow thee meate for thy sustenāce and his Commandement is an effectuall word that maketh them to do the thing that he chargeth them withall Wilt thou now onely bid thy seruant or sonne to serue and honour God and not see that he do it and helpe him in it Then thou doest not measure out vnto God as thou wouldest haue him measure to thee This duty then belongeth to a Christian head of a familie to worship God with all his family and to take order that when he shal be absent vpon necessarie occasions it may be done reuerently and onely by some one in his family that by reason of wit and age may be meete for it The neglect of this dutie letteth into families many grieuous enormities and outward miseries while God in his iustice refuseth to blesse such as by their carelesnesse in seruing of him do shew that they take not him to be the author of all wel-fare to soule or body but thinke to do well enough without him or else thinke to haue their turnes serued without requesting The third dutie which the chiefe gouernour must performe to all in his familie is priuate instruction and dealing with them in matters of religion for the building of them vp in true faith and for the inuring and bringing of them to a conscience towards God that they may not onely know and professe religion but also feele and shew the power of religion in their liues This dutie hath these specials belonging to it First a familiar and plaine opening vnto them the principles of religion after the manner of a Catechisme This duty the holy Ghost layeth vpon parents Ephes. 6. 1. Traine them vp in doctrine and holy precepts drawne out-of the word The like was commanded to parents in the old law Let these words which I command thee this day be in thine heart and whet them vpon thy children and speake of them when thou sittest in thy house when thou walkest in the way when thou liest downe and when thou risest vp c. So that it is not enough to bring thy children to be catechized at the Church but thou must labour with them at home after a more plaine and easier manner of instruction that so they may the better profit by the publike teaching Looke Prouerbs 22. 6. Thou euen by breeding thy children hast helped them into corruption and 〈◊〉 damnable estate how oughtest thou then by all holy care and paines taken with them in teaching them the knowledge of God in Christ to helpe them out of it that they may not be firebrands of hell And for seruants seeing they spend their strength wearie out their bodies and bestow their dayes and yeares in seeking thy profit and ease oughtest not thou then to seeke the saluation of their soules Salomon saith The iust man hath regard to his beast much more shouldest thou haue regard to thy seruant who is made according to the image of God with thee and is redeemed with as deare a price as thou art And thy care for him should not stretch to his body alone but especially to his soule that seeing his calling will not suffer him to vse so many and so often meanes for the good of it as were requisite he might herein be helped by thee The second speciall is an acquainting them with the Scriptures by reading them daily in thy house in their hearing and directing them to marke and make vse of those things which are plaine and easie according to their capacitie So Timothie was trained vp by his parents in the Scriptures so that he knew them from a child that is was made acquainted with them by reading them and being instructed in them according to his capacitie This shal make them the fitter to heare and profit by the publike ministerie whereas the neglect of this duty makes them vnable to heare and vnderstand the Preacher when he citeth examples or quoteth texts out of sundry places of Scripture The helpe that their family might reape by it should make them carefull in this reading of the Scripture The third is a diligent care and regard that they profit by the publike ministery of the word and Sacraments euery one according to their capacitie And this duty requireth that they should not onely looke that they do diligently frequent the preaching of the word and carefully come to the Sacraments in due time but also that they shew them how and put them in mind of preparing themselues to the word and Sacraments as lob did his sonnes They must prepare them to heare the word by willing them
is no stable and stedfast friendship vnlesse it haue his beginning from God and therefore must godlinesse needes shine before the rest For when couples haue determined to obey God all things afterwards become more easie 2. Vertue and honest conditions breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife For when vertue is exercised it maketh conuersation of liuing more amiable 3 Mutuall forbearing whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions and faults is very needfull For in this weaknesse of nature there happens many scapes which will breede strife if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing 4. Mutuall loue hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe-sighted in spying into one anothers fauits but that many things either they mark not or if they marke them they couer them with loue For loue couereth a multitude of sinnes 1. Peter 4. 8. Prou. 10. 12. 5. Dutie performed godlily caresully and cheerefully on both sides maketh the marriage-yoke light and sweet For when man and wife marke one another and finde like heedfulnesse and buxomnesse in their dutie both their companie is made more pleasant and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnesse that the one may requite the otheralike Where these fiue duties be not the companie of their life is both loath some and bitter or rather more sharpe then death Therefore the godly couples must do their endeuour that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer Now we will through Gods assistance say something concerning the three seuerall points contained in this dutie and mentioned in the beginning hereof and so end this dutie 1 The first whereof is that the husband must liue with his wife according to knowledge This point of doctrine is most plainely proued by the Apostle Peter where he saith a Ye husbands dwell with your wiues as men of knowledge giuing honour vnto the woman as vnto the weaker vessell euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life that your prayers be not interrupted Whereby he teacheth the husband his dutie to wit that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath endued him with the more wisely and circumspectly he ought to behaue himselfe in the bearing those discommodities which through his wiues weaknesse oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other Neuerthelesse though she be by nature weaker then he yet she is an excellent instrument for him made for very profitable vse whereupon it followeth that she is not therefore to be neglected because she is weake but on the contrarie part she ought to be so much the more cared for Like as a vessell the weaker it is the more it is to be fauoured and spared if we will haue it to continue euen so a wife because of her infirmities is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband 1. Peter 3. 7. And for so much as the husband and wife are equall in that which is the chiefest that is to say in that gracious and free benefit whereby they haue euerlasting life giuen them though otherwise I confesse vnequall as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home the wife is not be despised although she be weake And besides all brawlings and chidings must be eschued and cast away because they hinder prayers and the whole seruice of God whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally called Also for the more confirmation of this point the Apostle Paul likewise saith Let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence and likewise also the wife vnto the husband The wife hath not power ouer her owne bodie but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne body but the wife Defraud not one another except it be with consent for a time that ye may giue your selues to fasting and prayer and againe come together that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie Which is as if the Apostle should say the parties married must with singular affection entirely loue one the other for that they are each in others power as touching the bodie so that they may not defraud one another except the one abstaine from the other by mutuall consent that they may the better giue themselues to prayer wherin not withstanding they must consider what is expedient lest by this long breaking off as it were from marriage they be stirred vp to incontinencie The second point is that the husband should not be bitter fierce or cruell vnto his wife which point is approued by the said Apostle saying Husbands loue your wiues and be not bitter vnto them First and aboue all things the husband must be circumspect to keepe the band of loue and beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternesse betwixt him and his wife If at any time there happen to arise any cause of vnkindnesse betwixt them as it is impossible alwayes to be free from it then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie gentlenesse and patience and neuer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in displeasure Ephesians 4. 26. And if he shall haue occasion to speake sharpely and sometimes to reproue he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of others but let him keepe his words vntill a conuenient time which is the point of a wise man and then vtter them in the spirit of meekenesse and in the spirit of perfect loue and he must not let sometimes to couer faults and winke at them if they be not too great and intollerable Whatsoeuer losse or mischaunce shall happen vnto them let him take it patiently and beare it cheerefully yea though the same should come partly through his wiues negligence yea rather let it be a louing warning to take better heed in time to come then a cause to sorrow for that which is past and cannot be holpen Euery wise-man by his owne experience knoweth that he is in his life subiect to many inconueniences and that of nature he is prone to displeasure and readie to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle and especially with his best friends yea soonest with his louing wife who is lothest to displease him Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption and consider that he ought most of all in loue to beare with his wife according to Christs example towards his Church who gaue himselfe for it That he might sanctifie it clense it by the washing of water through the word That he might make it vnto himselfe a glorious Church not hauing spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holie and without blame so ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh but nourisheth it and cherisheth it euen as the Lord doth the Church As if the Apostle had said
and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her marriage to hold thy hands till she release thee againe Adam saith of his spouse This is flesh of my flesh But no man saith Paul euer hated his owne flesh So then if a man aske whether he might strike his wife God saith nay thou mayest not hate thy wife For no man hateth his owne flesh shewing that he should not come neare blowes but thinke his wrath too much Some husbands are wont to say that they will rule their wiues whatsoeuer they be or howsoeuer they came by them and that it is in the hand and power of the husband what and of what qualities and conditions she shall be True it is that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband so that he vnderstand as he ought to do that marriage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and friendship and that it farre differeth from tyranny the which doth compell men to obey Truly it may force the bodie but not the will in the which all loue and amitie doth consist and stand the which if it be drawne and forced doth resist and bow like a Palme tree to the contrary part And the husband may assure himselfe that there cannot be any quiet marriage or vnitie where he and his wife do not agree in will and minde the which two are the beginning and seate of all amitie and friendship And such husbands as do bragge and thinke themselues able to rule and ouer rule their wiues by that time they haue proceeded and gone a little further they shall well feele and perceiue themselues to be beguiled and finde that thing to be most hard and intricate the which to be done they esteemed most light and easie Some husbands there be that through euill and rough handling and in threatning of their wiues haue and vse them not as wiues but as their seruants And yet surely they are but very fooles that iudge and thinke matrimony to be a dominion For such as would be feared do afterwards pitiously lament and complaine that they can find no loue in their wiues whose loue and amity through their owne crueltie and hard dealing they haue turned into hatred And whereas at the beginning they gloried and cracked thus cruelly that they were their wiues maisters they haue now purchased vnto themselues a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come all loue and pleasure being now cast aside and compassed with feare and suspition hatred and sorrow Surely if a husband as nature reason and the holy Scriptures do witnesse be the head ouer his wife and God their Father there ought to be betweene them such society and fellowship yea and greater then is betweene the father and the sonne and not such as is betweene the maister and the seruant And amongst many reasons that may be vsed to perswade the husband and wife to liue together louingly quietly and Christianly this is not the least namely that neither of them is certaine how long they shall liue together then the partie that ouer-liueth and purposeth to marrie againe hauing bene churlish froward c. with his former wife or she with her first husband their so hard dealing one with the other before being knowne will no doubt be an occasion that they shall not speed and match so well as otherwise they might if they had behaued themselues peaceablie and dutifully in their first marriage What the dutie of a wife is toward her husband THis duty is comprehended in these points First that she reuerence her husband Secondly that she submit herselfe and be obedient vnto him And lastly that she do not weare gorgeous apparell beyond her degree and place but that her attire be comely and sober according to her calling The first point is proued by the Apostles Peter and Paul who set forth the wiues duties to their husbands commanding them to be obedient vnto them although they be prophane and irreligious yea that they ought to do it so much the more that by their honest life and conuersation they might winne them to the obedience of the Lord. Now for so much as the Apostle would haue Christian wiues that are matched with vngodly husbands and such as are not yet good Christians to reuerence and obey them much more should they shew themselues thankfull to God and willingly and dutifully performe this obedience and subiection when they are coupled in marriage with godly wise discreet learned gentle louing quiet patient honest and thrifty husbands And therefore they ought euermore to reuerence them and to endeuour with true obedience and loue to serue them to be loth in any wise to offend them 〈◊〉 rather to be carefull and diligent to please them that their soule may blesse them And if at any time it shall happen that the wife shall anger or displease her husband by doing or speaking any thing that shall grieue him she ought neuer to rest vntill she haue pacified him and gotten his fauour againe And if he shall chance to blame her without a cause and for that which she could not helpe or remedy which thing sometimes happeneth euen of the best men yet she must beare it patiently and giue him no vncomely or vnkind word for it but euermore looke vpon him with a louing and cheerefull countenance and so rather let her take the fault vpon her then seeme to be difpleased Let her be alwaies merry and cheerfull in his company but yet not with too much lightnesse She must beware in any wise of swelling powting lowring or frowning for that is a token of a cruell and vnlouing heart except it be in respect of sinne or in time of sicknesse She may not be sorrowfull for any aduersitie that God sendeth but must alwayes be carefull that nothing be spilt or go to wast through her negligence In any wise she must be quicke and cleanly about her husbands meare and drinke preparing him the same according to his diet in due season Let her shew her selfe in word and deed wise humble curteous gentle and louing towards her husband and also towards such as he doth loue and then shall she leade a blessed life Let her shew her selfe not onely to loue no man so well as her husband but also to loue none other at all but him vnlesse it be for her husbands sake and the Lords Wherefore let the wife remember that as the Scripture reporteth she is one bodie with her husband so that she ought to loue him none otherwise then her selfe for this is the greatest vertue of a married woman this is the thing that wedlocke signifieth and commandeth that the wife should reckon to haue her husband for both father mother brother and sister like as Adam was vnto Eue and as the most noble and chast woman Andromache said her husband Hector was vnto her Thou art vnto me both father and
mother Mine owne deare husband and well beloued brother And if it be true that men do say that friendship maketh one heart of two much more truely and effectually ought wedlocke to do the same which farre passeth all manner both of friendship and kindred Therefore it is not said marriage doth make one man or one minde or one body of two but clearely one person wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater dutie of the husband to wards his wife and the wife towards her husband then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents The Apostle biddeth To reioyce with them that reioyce and weepe with them that weepe With whom should the wife reioyce rather then with her louing husband Or with whom should she weepe and mourne rather then with her owne flesh I will not leaue thee saith Elisha to Eliah so she should say I will neuer leaue him till death Beare one anothers burthen saith Paul Who shall beare one anothers burthen if the wife do not beare the husbands burden Wicked lezabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse and Ieroboams wife sought for his health though she was as bad as he God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie as he did bid her husband yet because he bad Abraham leaue his she left hers too shewing that she was content not onely to be his play fellow but his yoke-fellow too Beside a yoke-fellow she is called an helper to helpe him in his labours to helpe him in his troubles to helpe him in his sicknesse like a woman physition sometime with her strength and sometime with her counsell For as sometime God confoundeth the wise by the foolish and the strong by the weake so sometimes he teacheth the wise by the foolish and helpeth the strong by the weake Therefore Peter saith Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their wiues As if he should say sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell Abraham may take counsell of Sarah as Naaman was aduised by his seruant The Shunamites counsell made her husband receiue a Prophet into his house and Hesters counsell made her husband spare the Church of the Iewes so some haue bene better helpe to their husbands then their husbands haue bin to them for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish as he did the Iewes with the Gentiles Beside an helper she is called a comforter too and therefore the man is bid to reioyce in his wife which is as much to say that wiues must be the reioycing of their husbands euen like Dauids harpe to comfort Saul A good wife therefore is knowne when her words and deeds and countenance are such as her husband loueth She must not examine whether he be wise or simple but that she is his wife and therefore being bound she must obey as Abigail loued her husband though he were a foole churlish and euill conditioned For the wife is as much despised for taking rule ouet her husband as he for yeelding it vnto her Therefore one saith that a mankind woman is a monster that is halfe a woman halfe a man It beseemeth not the mistresse to be maister no more then it becommeth the maister to be mistresse but both must saile with their own wind and both keepe their standing Lastly we call the wife huswife that is houswife not a street-wife one that gaddeth vp and downe like Thamar nor a field-wife like Dinah but a house-wife to shew that a good wife keepes her house and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they be chast and keeping at home presently after chast he saith keeping at home as though home were chastities keeper And therefore Salomon depainting and describing the qualities of a whore setteth her at the doore now sitting vpon her stall now walking in the streets now looking out of the window like cursed Iezabel as if she held forth the glasse of temptation for vanity to gaze vpon But chastitie careth to please but one and therefore she keepes her closet as if she were still at prayer The Angell asked Abraham Where is thy wife Abraham answered She is in the tent The Angell knew where she was but he asked that we might see how women in old time did keepe their tents and houses It is recorded of the Shunamite that she did aske her husband leaue to go vnto the Prophet though she went to a Prophet and went of a good errand and for his cause as much as her owne yet she thought it not meete to go farre abroad without her husbands leaue The second point is that wiues submit themselues and be obedient vnto their owne husbands as to the Lord because the husband is by Gods ordinance the wiues head that is her defender teacher and comforter and therefore she oweth her subiection to him like as the Church doth to Christ and because the example of Sarah the mother of the faithfull which obeyed Abraham and called him Lord moueth them thereunto This point is pattly handled before in the first point as also in the duty of the husband to the wife As the Church should depend vpon the wisedome discretion and will of Christ and not follow what it selfe listeth so must the wife also submit and apply her selfe to the discretion and will of her husband euen as the gouernmēt and conduct of euery thing resteth in the head not in the bodie Moses writeth that the Serpent was wise aboue all beasts of the field and that he did declare in assaulting the woman that when he had seduced her she might also seduce and deceiue her husband Saint Paul noting this among other the causes of the womans subiection doth sufficiently shew that for the auoiding of the like inconueniences it is Gods will that she should be subiect to her husband so that she shall haue no other discretion or will but what may depend vpon her head The Lord also by Moses saith the same Thy desire shall be subiect to thy husband and he shall rule ouer thee This dominion ouer their wiues will doth manifestly appeare in this that God in old time ordained that if the woman had vowed any thing vnto God it should not withstanding rest in her husband to disauow it so much is the wiues will subiect to her husband Yet it is not meant that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath giuen her in the helpe and for the good of her husband but alwayes it must be with condition to submit herselfe vnto him acknowledging him to be her head that finally they may so agree in one as the coniunction of marriage doth require Yet as when in a Lute or other musicall instrument two strings concurring in one tune the sound neuerthelesse is imputed to the strongest and highest so in a well ordered houshold there must be a communication and consent
when she was sent for of Dauid to be his wife she first bowed her selfe to the seruants and then made this lowly answer to him that brought the message Behold let thine handmaid be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord. Thirdly to admonish them louingly to salute their friends and acquaintance and generally all others whom they take to be Christians and brethren which consisteth in praying well to others wishing health prosperitie vnto them Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King 1. 17. Fourthly to put them in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they haue receiued it with giuing of thanks Fiftly to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed with humble crauing of pardon An example hereof they may haue in that vertuous and faire spoken matron Abigail as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25. 23. c. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw vpon them by the neglect of this duty and might preuent it and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others by meanes of it as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding of innocent blood saued her owne life with the liues of her familie and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter Againe parents must teach their children good manners and ciuill behauiour to rise vp to their betters to vncouer the head to make obeysance to be curteous towards their equals to be gentle and louely to their inferiours and louing and kind to all this is no lesse needfull for youth then their meate and their drinke Also to admonish them to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them Iob 32. 45. That they keepe silence while their betters are in place vntill they be spoken vnto and then they must make answer in few words without vnnecessary circumstances and directly vnto the matter And they may not be loud babling or hote in speech but cold and milde Prouerbes 17. Warne them that they do not interrupt or trouble others whiles they are in speaking Prou. 19. 20. Wherfore if children will keepe the bounds of good manners they must not be streperous or troublesome in talke but they must obserue and take their due time and course And if there be any thing spoken vnto which they would willingly make answer they must either curteously craue leaue of him that speaketh or else they must carrie it in remembrance vntill their turne cometh to speake which is the better of the twaine And further they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others and suffer others to speake by them for there is a time to keepe silence and so to heare others speaking for he that will haue all the talke passeth the bounds of good manners Moreouer parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gestures to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others which consisteth in these points 1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham Genes 18. 2. where it is said And he lifted vp his eyes and looked and lo three men stood by him and when he saw them he ranne to meete them from the tent doore Againe another example they may haue in king Salomon sitting vpon his regall Throne 1. King 2. 19. Bethsheba therefore went to King Salomon to speake vnto him for Adoniah and the King rose to meete her 2. The second is to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them And this is taught Leuiticus 19. 23. Thou shalt rise vp before the hoar-head and houour the person of the old man and dread thy God I am the Lord. But here we must warne you of a great abuse which for the most part is cōmitted in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neither you your selues neither your children nor seruants do know the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the Church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion Is this deuotion becomming Gods house Is not this all one as if a man should say Stay God here comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must do my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till he be past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God This doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then of God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answer him for it Is there no time to shew our duty towards men but euen then when we are about Gods seruice Why know you when man standeth before God how honourable soeuer he be he is but dung and filth and not to be regarded in comparison of him And let parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to rob God of his worship but there is an appointed time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter well admonisheth To all things there is an appointed time and a time to euery purpose vnder heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33. 9. that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knew he his brethren nor his owne children Euen so beloued our eyes and our minds and deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when we are in his seruice that we should not see nor regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second Chapter of the Gospell after Saint Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull child that euer was borne of woman yet when he was about his fathers businesse he said vnto his mother Woman what haue I to do with thee Which examples will teach vs that when we are about Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to be obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place Example of this we haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the three strangers as it is written Geneses 18. 8. And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which he had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eate Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. The fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this 1. King 2. 19. 5. The fift thing is that they giue
The husbands dutie is to loue their wiues as themselues of which loue the loue of Christ towards his Church is a liuely patterne And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie the Apostle willeth them to marke what manner of Church it was when Christ ioyned it to himselfe and he doth not onely not loath all her filth and vncleannesse but ceasseth not to wipe the same a way with his cleannesse vntill he haue wholly purged it and made it holy And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe euen of nature Therefore saith the Apostle the husband shall striue against nature if he loue not his wife which he proueth first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church together and then by the ordinance of God who saith that the husband and wife are one that is not to be diuided The husband is alwayes to remember that he be not fierce rigorous hastie nor disordered with his wife for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence and the husband to haue patience it shall rather be the dwelling of fooles then the house of friends For where the husband wanteth wisedome to gonerne and the wife patience to suffer they shall be forced it is to be feared in continuance of time to part house or else euery day to be iarring and brawling Euery married man ought also to remember this that either his wife is wise and religious or else she is foolish and irreligious If he be matched with a wife that is sottish foolish and ignorant of God and his word it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her and if he be married to one that is wise and religious and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word then one sharpe and discret word is sufficient because if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discretly said she will neuer amend by that which is threatned When the wise shall be inflamed with ire wrath malice or enuie the husband ought to suffer her and after the heate is somewhat cooled and the flame quenched then mildly to admonish her for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband then it is likely that there wil often follow brawlings and quarrels betwixt them And as the husband ought at all times to shun brawlings and quarrellings with his wife so much more he ought to auoid the same when they shall be newly married For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him then late or neuer will she returne to loue him faithfully Therefore at the beginning of their marriage the wise and discret husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him for if then their loue be fixed and truely setled one towards the other although afterwards they come to some houshold words and grudgings yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnesse and not of old rooted hatred and therefore the sooner remedied For loue and hatred be mortall enemies and the first of them that taketh place in the heart there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the dayes of life in such wise that the first loue may depart from the person but yet it will neuer be forgotten at the heart But if the wife from the beginning of marriage do take the heart to loath and abhorre her husband then a miserable life wil follow to them both For although the husband shall haue power to force his wife to feare and obey him yet he shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him Some husbands do boast themselues to be serued feared and obeyed in their houses because the wife that abhorreth doth feare and serue her husband but she that indeed liketh doth loue him and cherish him As the wife ought with great care to endeauour and by all good meanes to labour to be in fauour and grace with her husband so likewise the husband ought to feare to be in disgrace and disliking with his wife for if she do once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another then many inconueniences will ensue and follow The husband ought not to be satisfied with the vse of his wiues body but in that he hath also the possession of her will and affections for it sufficeth not that they be married but that they be well married and liue Christianly together and be very well contented And therefore the husband that is not beloued of his wife holdeth his goods in danger his house in suspition his credite in ballance and also sometimes his life in perill because it is 〈◊〉 to beleeue that she desireth not long life vnto her husband with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome And if any vnkindnesse or displeafure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and the wife yet neither of them ought to impart or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neighbours for if they be such as wish them euill they will reioyce at it and if they be such as wish them well then they minister matter whereof to talke That husband that is matched and doth encounter with a wife that is a dizzard a foole a babbler light ofbehauiour a glutton a chider slothfull a gadder abroad vntractable iealous or dissolute c it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man then a husband to such a wife The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife to guard and gouerne her is to admonish her often and to giue her good instructions to reprehend her seldome neuer to lay violent hands on her but if she be good and dutifull to fauour her to the end she may continue so and if she be shrewish and way ward mildly to suffer her to the end that she waxe not worse But some husbands be of so sowre a nature and so vnpleasant in their behauiour that they can hardly be loued no not of their wiues their countenance is so lowring their company so currish that they seeme angry euen when they are best pleased they cannot speake faire scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them a man would say they were borne in an angrie houre This is also a dutie not to be forgotten namely that 〈◊〉 be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses to cloath their wiues decently to bring vp their children vertuously and to pay their seruants duely because that in voluntary matters men may be negligent but the necessities of the house do neither suffer negligence nor forgetfulnesse The duty of the husband is to get goods and of the wife to gather them together and saue them The duty of the husband is to trauell abroad to seeke liuing and the wiues dutie is to keepe the