an especiall Gold-link of Love to bind love fast between husband and wife The fourteenth Gold-link of Love followeth The fourteenth Direction or Gold link of Love There ought to be a mutual care of and for Education of their Children which God hath graciously given unto them as Jacob spake to his Brother Esau Gen. 33.5 That they be taught and instructed both in civil and spiritual Respects both in divine and humane Learning according to the Honour and Dignity of their Places and Calling It is King Solomon's Counsel Prov. 22.6 Teach a Child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it when he is old Especially that they be seasoned with the Catechism and first principles of the Oracles of God Heb. 5.12 and the Knowledge of God's will in the Sacred Scriptures as blessed Timothy was for which St. Paul giveth that excellent Testimony you may read 2 Tim. 3.15 That from a Child he had known the holy Scriptures which are able to make us wise unto Salvation through Faith which is in Christ Jesus This is life eternal to know God the onely true God and whom he hath sent Jesus Christ John 17.3 For this care of instructing Children and Family the Lord himself commended faithful Abraham and maketh him of his secret Counsel Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do And he giveth this for one Reason For I know him saith the Lord that he will Command his Children and his Houshold after him to keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him and his Posterity Gen. 18.19 Again this was God's Command to his People Israel That they should teach their Children diligently the Law and Word of the Lord and thou shalt talk of them when thou art in thy House and when thou walkest by the way and when thou risest up as it is recorded Deut. 6.6 7. and this no doubt with holy reverence and devotion as desirous to reveal God's mind to their Children and Family And Children are commanded to hearken to their Parents instruction Prov. 1.8 My Son hear the Instruction of thy Father and forget not the Law of thy Mother And again Prov. 31.1 you may find the words of King Lemuel the Prophecy which his Mother taught him To conclude the Apostle St. Paul Ephes 6.1 2 3 4. presseth the duty both of Children and Parents First Children obey your Parents in all things as it is fit in the Lord and honour thy Father and Mother which is the first Commandement with promise That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long in the Land And Fathers provoke not your Children to wrath that they be not discouraged but bring them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord. Thus Children well instructed in the knowledge of God's mind may be a joy to Parents and Parents enjoy their Children as blessings from the Lord and behold them as Olive branches round about their Table to God's Glory Psal 128. and as the Pledges of their mutual Love to each other And this is an excellent Gold-link of Love to preserve and keep mutual Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The fifteenth Direction The fifteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That the Husband and Wife according to their duty do live together and not seperate the one from the other except with consent for a time upon most necessary occasions or that they may give themselves to Fasting and Prayer and come together again that Satan tempt them not as St. Paul directeth 1 Cor. 7.5 That so living lovingly together as heirs of the Grace of life they may be mutual Helpers to each other in these Conjugal Duties This Rule St. Peter giveth 1 Pet. 3.7 Husbands dwell with your Wives as men of Knowledge And St. Paul 1 Cor. 7.13 If a woman that believeth hath a husband that believeth not or is not a Christian yet if he please to dwell with her let her not leave him but continue that she may be a help to him for his Soul as well as for his Body and Estate When God did make the woman The Lord God said It is not good for man to be alone I will make him a help meet for him Gen. 2 18. And a good wife will be a Helper for good not a hinderance to her husband God did make the woman to be a second-self Mr. Ainsworth in Gen. 2. like him in nature knit to him in Love needful for Children helpful in all Duties present always with him and so very meer and profitable as a joyful Companion in all estates in adversity as well as in Prosperity in Sickness as well as in Health in Poverty as well as in a rich Estate This requireth cohabitation That the wife leave not the husband nor the husband forsake the wife Because this unjust and unchristian forsaking of husband or wife for light differences for any thing less then that which is a sufficient ground for a lawful Divorce by the Law of God This giveth occasion of sin abateth love and cannot expect a blessing from God yea this too often doth break off Love betwixt Husband and Wife when cohabitation doth preserve Conjugal Love and will do if they live in the fear of God and follow his Directions to the end The sixteenth Direction The sixteenth Direction or or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love to bind love fast and prevent sinful Breaches betwixt husband and wife is for both to learn that first lesson of a Christian which our Saviour taught his Disciples Math. 16.24 They must sometimes deny themselves that is their own wills and desires passions and affections bridle rash anger and over-rule their passions yea their right sometimes for quietness sake they must not be both self-willed nor both angry at once or at the same time King Solomon witnesseth That he that is stow to Anger is better then the Mighty and he that ruleth his Spirit then he that taketh a City Prov. 16.32 And a soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger Prov. 15.1 And again that wise man Prov. 19. Prov. 19.9 19. It is better to dwell in a Corner of the house top then with a Brawling woman in a wide House And again verse 19. It is better to dwell in the Wilderness then with a contentious and angry woman And that Kingly Preacher again Eccles 7.9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry for anger resteth in the bosome of Fools Simile It was a witty conceit of the Father who gave two Caps to his new married Son and Daughter made fit for Solomons angry Fools with this Contract that they should never put them on both at once But if the husband had put on his Cap the wife should let hers lie still not take it by any means and the same direction to
O Lord Zach. 12.10 prepare our hearts to Prayer and so assist us with thy holy Spirit of Prayer and Supplication Rom. 8.26 27. that our Prayers may be acceptable Rev. 8.3 4. and we may receive a gracious Answer in and for the sweet Incense and Merits of the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour Amen O eternal Deut. 32.27 most gratious merciful everlasting everliving Exod. 34.6 7. Jer. 10.11 1 Tim. 1.17 Isaiah 46.9 10. Rom. 8.28 Rom. 11.33 34 35 36. and only wise God who orderest all things according to the Counsel of thy own most just and holy Will and disposest of all for thy own eternal Glory and the eternal good of thy Church and Children in Christ Jesus of whom may we seek for Protection and safety of Soul or Body or any other blessing but of thee our God and heavenly Father in our Saviour Christ from whom cometh every good and perfect Gift James 1.17 with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning The last night we durst not lay down our eyes to sleep Psal 132.4 nor suffer the temples of our head to take any rest until we had begged thy gratious Providence for preservation of us and ours in particular and of thy whole Church in general And thou O blessed God who art the hearer of Prayer hast in thine abundant goodness heard our Prayer Psal 65.2 Psal 66.18 19 20. and brought us to the light of this day blessed be thy great and glorious Name thou mightest O Lord in thy Justice have consumed us by Fire to ashes Exod. 12.29 30. and made our Beds our Graves One or more of us might have been stricken with some terrible tormenting Sickness we might have been found dead in our Beds as many have been many other miseries might have befallen us But in thy great mercy thou hast spared us Lam. 3.22 23. and renewed thy mercies to us this Morning What shall we render to thy heavenly Majesty for thy Favours And now we dare not adventure into the World without intreating thy Protection and Blessing in and upon our just and lawful Endeavours We confess O Lord we are not worthy the least of all thy mercies Genesis 32.10 and thy loving-kindnesses which from time to time thou hast shewed to thy Servants We acknowledge we have not been sensible of that original corruption of our depraved Natures Eph. 2.1 2 3. and our proneness to Sin drawn from our first Parents corrupted by their lamentable Fall Genesis 3.6 7. Genesis 6.5 nor have we humbled our selves in sence of this our misery as we should have done we have not kept our Hearts with all diligence out of which are the issues of death Prov. 4.23 But our Hearts have followed our Eyes beholding Vanity Jer. 4.14 Psal 141.3 and vain thoughts have too long lodged within us We have not set a watch O Lord before our Lips and kept the doors of our Mouths but many idle unprofitable sinful words for which we must answer at the Day of Judgment have been uttered by us to thy dishonour Mat. 12.36 and evil example of others yea Eph. 4.4 29 30. too many times corrupt Communications to the grief of thy holy Spirit Psal 39.1 Psal 119.67 We have not taken heed to our Feet to walk in the right wayes of thee O Lord but gone aside from the Pathes of thy Commandements and so have been guilty of many actual transgressions both in thought word and deed breaking thy most righteous Lawes We have failed in the Duties of our several particular Relations as Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband Parents to Children and Children to Parents Masters or Dames to Servants and Servants to them not performing our Duties in the fear of God as we ought to have done We have not walked as becometh Christians towards others nor done as we would they should do to us according to that Golden Rule of our blessed Saviour Mat. 7.12 Phil. 1.27 So that by our good Conversation as becometh the Gospel of Christ others might have been stirred up to glorifie thee our heavenly Father Mat. 5.16 So that if thou shouldest enter into judgment with us O Lord Psal 143.2 how can we be justified by any our own righteousness in thy presence Phil. 3.9 10. O then behold us we humbly beseech thee in the face of thy Son Jesus Christ as washed clean by his Blood and accepted by his Merits Mat 3.17 He it is in whom thou art well pleased Acts 5.31 and him thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance to Israel and remission of Sins Psal 19.12 Oh give us true Repentance for all the Errours of our Lives past for Christ's sake and grant that being delivered out of the hands of all our Enemies Luke 1.74 75. we may serve thee without fear of them in righteousness and true holiness all the days of our lives Bless with us we pray thee all our Friends Psal 35.11 12 13 14. Mat. 5.11 and change the Hearts of our Enemies make them our Friends if it be thy will be gracious to our Children and Servants make our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants Isa 41.8 and our Friends thy Friends Lev. 19.17 Let us reprove we pray thee and not give evil example Eph. 5.11 nor suffer our Children or Servants to be prophane Swearers or Cursers Lyars Drunkards or unjust Joh. 13.15 Psal 101.6 7. But grant that we may be good examples and that they may be faithful in the Land such as thy servant David would have make them religious like faithful Abraham's servant praying when they are sent about our occasions Lord send me good speed this day Genesis 24.12 that we and they may be blessed Bless with us thy universal Church scattered thorough out the whole World Be gracious we pray thee to the Nations of England Scotland and Ireland poure down thy blessings upon the Kings most excellent Majesty with his Royal Consort the Queen and all the Royal Family preserve Him and Them from all His 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Their and our Enemies Bless all the honourable Nobility the Reverend faithful Ministers of the Gospel in their several places with all the Magistrates Gentry and Commons of the Land and inable us thy humble servants rightly and justly to do our Duty to all our Superiours 1 Pet. 2.17 Inferiours and Equals and to this end increase we most humble intreat thy Majesty all necessary Graces in all our souls Give us we beseech thee a daily supply and increase of Divine Knowledge and heavenly Wisdome Lord increase our Faith Luk. 17.5 and give us such a Faith as purifieth the Heart Acts 15.9 and worketh by Loves Give us true Conversion from all our sins Gal. 5.6 2 Cor. 7.10 and Repentance to Salvation not to be
repented of And adorn we humbly pray thee Eccl. 12.7 our immortal Souls with those excellent Graces of true Christian Charity 1 Cor. 13.1 2 3 4 c. Chastity Sobriety Temperance and holy Moderation with submissive contentment unto and with thy Divine will and pleasure in every dispensation of thy Divine Providence 1 Peter 5.8 1 Thess 4.3 4. Phil. 4.5 inable us to wait upon thee in Faith Acts 21.14 Job 14.14 with patience all the Days of our appointed time until our change come It is in thy power O Lord to change Poverty into Riches Enemies to Friends Sickness into Health Death into Life Thou canst kill and make alive at thy pleasure 1 Sam. 2.7 8. Psal 63.3 4 5. O satisfie our souls with thy loving-kindness in thy Ordinances and living Graces and especially with a lively Hope of immortality by the Resurrection of Christ from the Dead 1 Pet. 1.3 4. and that Inheritance which fadeth not O cause thy love to be shed abroad in our Hearts by the holy Ghost Rom. 5.5 give us that peace of God which passeth all understanding let the Love of Christ constrain us to live henceforth not to our selves but to Him who died for us and rose again That when He shall appear at the last day Col. 3.4 we may appear with Him in Glory O most blessed God! strengthen us we pray thee with thy special Grace for the performance of our works in our particular family-Family-Duty according to our Places and Callings in thy fear and in love one to another Husband and Wife Eph. 6.1 2 3 4 5 6 c. Parents and Children Masters and Servants Make Lord our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants our Friends thy Friends and bless them and us in all our and their righteous Labours this day and all the dayes of our lives especially those who have desired or deserved our Prayers requite and return all their loving favours a thousand fold into their Bosome succour we most humbly pray thee all thy Children in any manner of Affliction Let the good will of him that dwelt in the Bush dwell with them Exod. 3.2 Deut. 33.16 Amos 4.12 prepare us to meet thee in whatsoever tryal thou shall prove our Faith and any other graces with and give to us and all thine a happy Deliverance out of all in thy doe time and season and preserve us all in Bodies and Souls to thy heavenly Kingdom 2 Tim. 4.18 We most humbly beg these and whatsoever thou in thy Divine Wisdome knowest to be needful for us or any of thine in the Name and for the Merits of our blessed Saviour And in that Prayer he hath taught us Our Father which art in Heaven c. An Evening Prayer for Husband and Wife and either of them with their Family or any other fit Person in the Husbands absence O Most might and powerful Lord our God who art the great Creator and high Possessor of Heaven and Earth Gen. 14.19 Gen. 17.1 the All-sufficient God and gracious Ruler of the whole World who art the Lord God glorious in holiness dreadful in Praises doing wonders Exod. 15.11 Thou art the Lord strong merciful and gracious abundant in goodness and truth forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin Exod. 34.6.7 and who wilt not hold the wicked innocent Thou even thou art to be feared and who may stand in thy sight when thou art angry Psal 76.7 yet thou art gracious to thy Children shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love thee and are careful to keep thy Commandements Thou preservest the Feet of thy Saints and hast preserved us thy unworthy servants this day 1 Sam. 2.9 O let our Prayers come before thee as Incense and the lifting up of our hands be as an Evening Sacrifice Psal 141.2 a Sacrifice of Praise and Thanksgiving for the mercies of this day thou hast kept us safe at home and abroad thou hast blessed us in our just and honest occasions and endeavors If any thing now Gen. 24.12 27. or at any time hath fallen out cross to our desires Psal 119.7 thou oh our good God didest see it good for us to be afflicted that we might be put in mind of our going wrong and our too great ingratitude of former dayes mercies But we acknowledge thy goodness thy mercies to us and thy people of old and thy glorious Name Neh. 9.5 hath been far above and beyond all our Thanksgiving and Praise yea that unspeakable Gift of thy mercy namely John 3.16 thy only begotten Son who hath made a gracious Promise that whatsoever thy servants shall ask of thee in his Name John 16.23 it shall be granted us This emboldens us blessed Father humbly to supplicate thee who art so full of compassion to pass by all our Transgressions Micah 7.18 19. and to subdue all our Iniquities and pardon all our Sins of Ignorance and Knowledge of weakness and willfulness of Omission and Commission Take away our iniquity and receive us gratiously in and for Christ and we shall render to thee the Calves of our Lips Hosea 4.2 yea not of our Lips alone but of our Hearts and of our whole Souls and Bodies a holy living and acceptable Sacrifice of Obedience in Christ Jesus Rom. 12.1 2. Thou O Lord art the Fountain Author and Giver of all Grace increase thy Graces in us we most humbly beseech thee that we may be better inabled to perform our duties to thee our God and to our Neighbours in general and one to another in our particular Callings and Relations Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband in true Conjugal love Parents to Children Exodus 20.12 Eph. 6.2 3. in for the Lord Children to Parents in due honour that the blessing of long happy life may be their portion according to thy promise Masters to Servants Eph. 6.9 as knowing they have a Master in Heaven and Servants to Masters in singleness of heart as unto Christ not with Eye-service as men-pleasers Eph. 6.5 6 7 8. but as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart with good will doing service as to the Lord and not to men that of the Lord they may receive the reward of Inheritance Col. 3.24 because in doing faithful service according to God's will they serve the Lord Christ Forgive we pray thee our Enemies and bless our Friends Now thou O Lord art the Keeper of Israel who neither slumbrest nor sleepest Except thou O Lord Psal 127.1 2. keep the City the watchman waketh but in vain It is in vain to rise up early and late take rest and eat the bread of carefulness Psal 3.5 Psal 4.8 except the Lord bless our Labours Neither can we ly down and sleep and take our rest except the Lord sustain us except thou O Lord make us to dwell in safety Therefore now we
A Gold Chain OF Directions WITH Twenty Gold-Linkes of Love to preserve Love firm between Husband and Wife during their Lives Profitable for all that are already Married or that intend to take the Honourable and Holy estate of Marriage upon them hereafter Advising for a Right Choice in Marriage and how to keep from those sad Consequences have fallen out in too many Families sometimes upon small dislike between Husband and Wife That happiness may be the Inheritance of Parents and Posterities through the Grace of God in Christ Jesus Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband Ep. 5.33 By Immanuel Bourne a Minister of Christ Jesus our blessed Lord and Saviour London Printed by J. Streater for George Sawbridge dwelling on Clerken-well Green 1669. To the Right Honourable and Noble Lord John Lord Roos the only Son and Heir And to the Right Noble young Ladies the Lady Dorothy Lady Elizabeth Lady Anne and Lady Mary Mannors the eminently virtuous Daughters of the Right Honourable and truly Noble Lord John Earl of Rutland and of the Right Noble Lady the Lady Frances the worthily honoured Countesse of Rutland and my most free and noble Patron and Patronesse and to the rest of their honourable Family and Relations All health and happiness with true content and honour unto you all and to your Noble Parents and their Posterity in this life and eternal glory and blessedness in and by the Lord Jesus Christ in the life to come RIght Noble and my much honoured Lord It is too apparent that if this or the like spiritual Gold Chain of Directions for the happy Choice and enjoyment of a virtuous good Wife and Husband and the Declaration of their mutual Duties to each other had been better known unto and observed after your Marriage by your late so nobly born Lady and no doubt adorned with a noble and honourable Education by her honourable and truly Noble Parents in her younger dayes the too publick and to be lamented Breach between your Honours might by God's blessing have been saved Now to prevent the like disagreement if God in his most wise Providence shall grant you a second Marriage-Union I have made bold and thought good humbly to present these twenty heavenly Gold-links of Love as so many Scripture-Rules of Direction to your Honours your Noble Ladies Reading Meditation and Practice Pray daily to God for your future Happiness and Contentment both in your Choice and Enjoyment to the end of your life And for you ever to be honoured Ladies what can your desires be more or better for this present life then to live happily in a single estate whilest the most wise God seeth it best for you so to continue And to live joyfully with honourable and truly Noble faithful kind and loving Husbands when the same most gracious God shall call you to the high and honourable estate of Marriage The first God hath blessed you with already living with your tender loving and ever to be honoured Parents providently taking care for your noble and virtuous Education with all things necessary for your present Contentment And for the second that you may be blessed in your right Choice and happy enjoyment of truly Noble Religious Faithful and Loving kind Husbands I have exercised my spirit in Reading and Meditation to find out in the sacred Scriptures and consider what Directions might be most available to further your or any others so great a Happiness and have judged best and resolved to bind together some easie Rules of Guidance both for Choice and Life-lasting Possession of such an unvaluable Treasure in the mode or term of a rich Chain of Gold with twenty spiritual Gold-links of Love more pretious then Rubies or sparkling glorious Diamonds of high price and value with the noblest Lords and Ladies in the World They are a kind of body apparrelled not in Courtly attire of silken Rhetorical Elegancies or with Ear-pleasing words and delightful Expressions like some feigned Peices but presented to your Honours in a plain Country dress as desiring they should more take the Hearts with Divine spiritual Counsels in them then the Ear with the sound of pleasing words filled with fancied matters which often times prove but loss of pretious time without any Soul-profit to the Readers Now if you honoured Lord and you noble Ladies please to accept of this Gold Chain of Love as the Testimony of my hearty Desire of your true good both Spiritual and Temporal and the best Gift I am now provided to present unto you I shall esteem it a noble Favour and continue my daily Prayers to God for his blessing upon my ever honoured Lord and Lady your Honourable Parents upon your Honours and all their Honourable Posterity and Relations and Remain From my Study in Waltham in Leicester-shire Novemb 2. 1668. Right Noble Lord and ever honoured Ladies Your aged Servant ready to Honour and Serve you in and for the Lord Jesus Christ Immanuel Bourne Aged 78 years compleat if I live until Dec. 27. next preserved hitherto through Gods mercy Lam. 3. 22 23. THE EPISTLE Dedicatory general To all honoured Christians who have taken upon them the honorable Estate of Matrimony or that intend if God so order it to be marrried hereafter and desire a blessed Union and Communion in a married condition that they may live lovingly together as Heirs of the Grace of Life here on Earth and be happy in Heaven for ever HOnoured Christians for so I cannot but stile all that truly know and believe in God thorough the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour since he hath loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood and made us spiritual Kings and Priests unto God his Father Rev. 1.5 Marriage is honourable amongst all and the Bed undefiled but Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge Hebr. 13.4 And Love is the bond of perfectness Col. 3.19 Now to preserve Love and prevent dishonouring of this honourable Estate I have dedicated this Gold Chain of Directions with twenty Gold-links of Love unto you I commend them to your serious Reading Meditation Application and Practise the Phrase is but plain without inticeing words of mans wisdome 1 Cor. 2.4 but the subject-matter Divine from grounds of sacred Scripture that light to our Feer and lamp to our Pathes as the Holy Ghost by the mouth of King David testifieth Acts 1.16 Holy men spake as they were inspired by the Holy Ghost 2 Pet. 1.21 Psal 119.105 And if God give a blessing and inable you to tread all your lives in these pleasant Pathes of Love they may bring more Profit and comfort to Husbands and Wives in the married estate then rich Jewels of greatest value and high esteem amongst the Princes of this World which that you may find true by daily Experience is the earnest Prayer of Your most humble SERVANT in and for
contentment and continuance of Love between Husband and Wife is this That there ought to be free Communication of mutual kindness and conjugal engagements one to and with another that mutual Benevolence and Bond of Marriage-Love at times convenient according to the Law of God and Nature read the blessed Apostles Direction 1 Cor. 7.2 3 4 5 c. and that Law of God Leviticus 18.19 and Leviticus 20.18 and Ezekiel 18.6 These Rules observed This Marriage-kindness at fit times is one means to cherish and preserve mutual conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives when as the denial of this loving kindnesse is a dangerous occasion of Breach and Disquietnesse yea sometimes it may prove of separation and an occasion of Damnable sin if God restrain not by his special Grace yet a Bridle must be to restrain Intemperance in all Delights least excess destroy both Souls and Bodies That is a general Rule Phil. 4.5 Let your moderation be known to all men the Lord is at hand He is present to see all our Actions and to bless or punish according to our Obedience or Disobedience to his Commandements Thus you have a seventh Gold-link of Love The eighth followeth The eighth Direction or Gold-link of Love And this is That Husbands and Wives be careful of and ready to shew their love to each others Souls as well as to their Bodies or Estates That Husbands love their Wives as Christ loved his Spouse the Church and gave himself for it that he might sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word that he might present it to himself a glorious Church not having spot or wrinkle Eph. 5.25 26 27. or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Husbands ought to take care for the beauty of their Wives Souls as well as of their Bodies that they may be lovely to Christ their heavenly Husbands as well as to them Cant. 4.7 as the Spouse of Christ is to him The Husband which taketh no care for his Wives soul how can he expect that God should bless him with a good Wife The Husband should pray daily for his Wife as St. 1 Thess 5.23 Paul did for his Christian Thessalonians That her whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Soul is better then a whole World Mat. 16.26 What is a man profited if he gain the whole World and lose his Soul or what shall a man give in exchange for his Soul What saith that great and blessed Apostle He that provideth not for his own especially for them of his own houshold he hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an Infidel 1 Tim. 5.8 And if it be a Duty to provide for the Body of his Family or Houshold then much more for their most pretious and immortal Souls if it possible be in his power and most of all for his Wives Soul which is his second Self and is or ought to be most dear unto his Soul That her Soul may prosper as St. John did testifie of the Soul of his Beloved Gaius 3 John 1.2 That it may appear he loveth his Wife in Truth and so God may bless her unto him for the good of his Soul Body and Estate And so likewise Wives ought to be studious and careful for the good of their Husbands Souls as well as of the health of their Bodies and Estates This is a means by Gods blessing for the preservation of conjugal Love and gratious affections for true joy of Husband and Wife by the Grace and Power of Christ John 15.15 Phil. 4.13 For Husbands and Wives ought to be helpers and means in their places of each others Salvation this St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.16 requiring cohabitation and dwelling together and he expresseth a Reason What knowest thou O Wife whether thou shalt save thy Husband and how knowest thou O Man whether thou shalt save thy Wife That is be an outward means of Salvation by good Counsel or otherwise by Gods Blessing taking care of the means of Salvation for each other to their powers As the Wives may be a means to win their Husbands by their good Conversations 1 Pet. 3.1 2 3 4. As St. 1 Pet. 3.7 Peter directs So the Husbands may win their Wives if they follow St. Peters Counsel Live with their Wives as men of knowledge giving honour to the Wife as the weaker Vessel that their Prayers be not hindred And this is the greatest love which is shewed to the Souls of each other and a work of high esteem and unspeakable benefit James 5.20 Let him know saith St. James That he which converts a Sinner from the errour of his way shall save a Soul from Death and shall hide a multitude of Sins And thus may a Husband or Wife be helper and means for their eternal mutual happiness if by loving and wise carriage and deportment each to other they can win and gain one or other or both from any evil he or she is subject unto praying to God daily for a Blessing upon their good Endeavours This is a most pretious Gold-link of Love to preserve love and affection and happy peace and prosperity with Husbands and Wives during their lives Now I proceed to a ninth Gold-link A ninth Direction or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love This is that Husband be an example to the Wife of Piety and Chastity Religious Love with care of Cherishing his Wife as the weaker Vessel especially in times of Sickness Weakness or other Infirmities as Christ was kind to his Disciples when they were troubled at the news of his Departure from them John 14.1 2 3. Let not your Hearts be troubled ye believe in God believe also in Me in my Fathers House are many Mansions if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you And as Christ hath been to his Church and Children in all Ages especially in any sad Dispensation To speak comfortably as the Lord answered the Angel that spake for Jerusalem Zachar. 1.13 The Lord answered the Angel that talked with me with good words and comfortable words Or as Elkanah did to Hannah when peevish and spiteful Peninnah vexed her because she was barren And Elkanah said Hannah why weepest thou I and why eatest thou not I am not I better to thee then ten Sons I Sam. 1.8 And the wife ought to be careful not to provoke her husband by any unkind behaviour towards him but to be ready to shew her love to her husband in sickness and health and both to look to the example of Christ our heavenly husband The husband to love his wife as his own Body for he that loveth his wife loveth himself For no man yet ever hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it as the Lord doth the Church Ephes 5.28 29. Each followeth Christ his
the wife This is a means to enjoy peace It was the moral mans Observation Heratius Latius regres avidum domande spiritum c. That a man should conquer more by ruling his spirit then by conquering the greatest Person in the World And the Holy Spirit of God directs that we should forbear one another in love Co. 3.13 and the same Apostle exhorts to be long-suffering this is our duty as Christian in general and the same is incumbent upon man and wife in particular to yield sometimes to each other in love That was an excellent example of Self-denyal Example which faithful Abraham gave when his wife Sarah was angry with her Maid Hagar whom she her self had given to her Husband to get Children because she her self was barren as you may read Gen. 16.1 2. Abraham left her Maid at her Mistresse dispose and she by her hard usage made her fly away And this must needs be against Abraham's heart that Hagar should be so hardly used and constrained to fly away whom he had gotten with Child by his Wives consent and no doubt had affection for her yet Abraham condescends to his wife for Abraham said unto Sarah Thy Maid is in thy hand do to her as it pleaseth thee Again when Sarah had brought forth Isaac and Sarah did see Ismael the Son of Hagar mocking of her Son Isaac She calleth to Abraham her Husband Put away the Bond-woman and her Son for the Son of the Bond-woman shall not be heir with my Son even with Isaac Gen. 21.10 11. This thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his Son Ismael yet as God directs him he yieldeth to his wife and putteth away Hagar and Ismael out of doors and then all was at peace Thus sometimes a sweet Condescenâ—sin in things lawful is a sweet well-pleasing means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife And as the Husband so the Wife is to labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to be of a self-denying submitting meek and quiet spirit which in the eyes of the Lord is a thing much set by witnesse Saint Peter 1 Pet. 3.4 For a Wife to deny her self Example and her own will for the love of her Husband is a means to preserve Love and prevent the danger of separation Had Queen Vasti denyed her self to please her Husbands fancy of shewing her Beauty to his Guests as he desired Hester 1.11 12. she might have prevented his anger and continued Queen to her death in all likelihood Thus you see the passing by of occasions of anger and a loving condescending to each others lawful desires is an excellent Gold-link of Love and means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife during Lives The seventeenth Direction The seventeenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love now followeth This is to exercise spiritual wisdome how and when to speak one to another of any thing that is not well done or said by either party or that they perceive is contrary to either of their minds or affections or not for their profit safety or honour A word fitly spoken in due season how good is it saith King Solomon Prov. 15.23 And Prov. 25.11 A word fitly spoken is like Apples of Gold in pictures of Silver And the kingly Preacher telleth us there is a time for all things Eccles 3.1 For that which is spoken may be well taken at one time which will not be so well resented at another time For Example Example when Churlish covetous Nabal had used Davids young men unkindly and brought himself and Family in great danger we see Abigail meeting David with a Present and pacifieth David and prevents his shedding of Blood as you may read 1 Sam. 25.26 and returning home she findeth her Husband keeping a Feast like a King and merry with Wine for he was very Drunken verse 36. wherefore she told him nothing less or more untill the morning But it came to pass in the morning when the Wine was gone out of Nabal then she told him these things and then he was sensible of his folly to the full 1 Sam. 25.37 1 Sam. 25.37 Thus when a Husband or Wife is in any Distemper drunken with Wine or strong drink or with any passion or discontent it is wisdome to forbear speaking and to observe a sit time and in a loving manner to declare mildly and peaceably what was a failing on either part and that with meeknesse of spirit For a soft Answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up Anger as we noted before Prov. 15.10 The Apostle St. James his direction is good James 1.19 20. Be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath for the wrath of Man worketh not the righteousness of God Thus spiritual policy yea even civil wisdome is one special help to quench the fire of jars and unnecessary fallings out and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife during their lives An eighteenth Direction The eighteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love is to be of a well-pleasing quiet spirit toward each other not seeking quarrels but rather seeking to please one another in Love in the Lord this duty St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.33 34. The married man careth for the things of this World how he may please his wife and the married woman how she may please her Husband The Apostle holdeth this out I humbly conceive not only as a practice but as a Christian duty also to be careful both Husband and Wife to please one another in all things lawful and convenient in the Lord for Rom. 15.1 2 3. He giveth this Rule for Christians in general That the strong ought to bear the Infirmities of the weak and not to please our selves But let every one please his Neighbour to Edification Now if this be the duty of all Christians to please one another for their good Then much more of Husbands and Wives to be well-pleasing to each other not to be contentious or quarrelsome or cross for Trifles or small Matters but to be wise and seek to please and give content to each other according to their Duties and Places This is heavenly wisdome saith St. James which is from above and is first pure then peaceable gentle and easie to be intreated full of mercy and good fruits without partiality and without hypocrisie James 3.17 18. And this wisdome ought to be between Husband and Wife to be peaceable not troublesome to each other For as the wise man speaketh He that troubleth his own House shall inherit the Wind and the Fool shall be servant to the wise in heart Prov. 11.29 And Prov. 19.13 11. A foolish Son is the calamity of his Father and the contentions of a Wife are a continual dropping it will rot a house in time And again Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers But a prudent Wife is from the Lord Prov. 19.14
A contentious Wife will trouble a Family and bring disquietness to a quiet Husband Therefore the Wife is to be peaceable and the same ought to be the care of the Husband not to be captious chiding with his Wife for every small thing he seeth amisse But to follow the Apostles Rule 1 Thess 4.11 Study to be quiet especially with his Wife This is a hopeful means to prevent disturbance in a Family and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The nineteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love The nineteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love is to learn and act St. Paul his practice as it is recorded Phil. 4.11 12 13. If a Man hath married a Wife or a Woman a Husband which proveth not according to expectation First it may be a cross or careless Husband or one that is tyrannical over his Wife to make her his Slave or his Servant or otherwise that is a daily vexation to his provident and pious good Wife a common Tavern or Ale-house-Haunter or a desperate Gamester a mispender of his precious time or estate in idle or evil Company neglecting his Calling and Houshold occasions 1 Sam. 25.17 c. or a Nabal a Churlish Clown and ingratefull as Nabal was Or that a Husband hath failed of his expectation and hath met with a riotous mispending Wife or one that is perverse and unquiet or contrary to the Apostles Rule will usurp authority over the Man which she ought not 1 Tim. 2.12 If she prove sickly or diseased weak and unable to perform all Duties yet if she be faithful to him in the Marriage Covenant to keep her onely to him so long as they both shall live If God lay his Hand upon them with or in Tryals and Troubles Losses and Crosses in the World they must both labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to submit to God's Providence and to be content with their Lot and Condition It may be God did leave thee to thy self in the Choice of Wife or of thy Husband for tryal of thy Faith or Patience or other Graces Good Patient Job had not the best Wife that was so unkind to him in his great Affliction as you may read Job 19.17 It may be God saw it best for thee to have such a Wife or such a Husband to humble thee or for other ends and all for thy good which all things must be If thou love God and art called by Christ to repent and believe on him according to God's purpose as St. Paul Rom. 8.28 Therefore to study Piety and contentment shall be your great gain in the end as the Spirit of God witnesseth 1 Tim. 6.6 Labour then by Love to amend what you find amiss in each other and that by all fair means This will be a way to prevent worse evils and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives whilst they live The twentieth and last Direction A twentieth Direction or Gold-link of love or Gold link of Love to preserve Love between Husbands and wives which I shall give at this time is to pray constantly and piously with Faith and Fervency to God as reconciled in Christ There is Grace and Wisdome and strength in Christ to inable you to perform these and all other Duties required of you Read Joh. 1.16 Joh. 15.5 Col. 1.19 Col. 2.3 Phil. 4.11 12 13. both for and with one another not in private onely in your Family but in secret in your Closets if possibly it may be That the most blessed God will in and for the Merits of Christ pardon all Sins heal all Infirmities and by his free Grace in Christ supply all defects and reform whatsoever is found amiss either in Husband or Wife and by the Power and Spirit and Grace of Christ to inable them to perform all Duties first to God then to each other with care and faithfulness yea to all other Superiors Inferiors or equally so to live together as Heirs of the Grace of Life that your Prayers be not hindred The Husband may say to the Wife 1 Pet. 3.7 and the Wife to her Husband as Samuel said to the Israelites 1 Sam. 12.23 God forbid I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you Prayer is a Duty incumbent upon all to practice daily And the fervent Prayer of God's Children is effectuall James 5.16 17. If any be tempted to any Sin pray as St. Paul did 2 Cor. 12.7 8 9. Isaac prayed for his Wife and God heard him and gave her Children Genesis 25.21 Hannah she prayed for a Son and God gave her the Request of her Soul 1 Sam. 2.23 What should I tell you That Monica St. Augustins good Mother did pray for her Son and the Lord heard her and fulfilled her desires What greater encouragement can be or need to be to this duty Pray till God answer Joh. 16.23 then that gracious Promise of our Saviour That whatsoever we ask the Father in his Name he will give it us Joh. 16.3 Oh then my Beloved in Christ Pray as Jacob did Gen. 32.26 Hosea 12.4 be sure to practice this duty of Prayer not onely in publick in the Congregations joyn with the publick Prayers of the Church But in private in your Families and in secret in your Closets daily Persevere in prayer untill God bless you Rom. 12.12 And if you have not Prayer-Books to answer every Dispensation and to direct you in particular Petitions according to your present Necessities as who hath Then learn and labour to be able your selves by the help of the Spirit of Prayer and Supplication promised to Gods Church and Children Zach. 12.10 To make your Request known unto God upon all occasions Read Phil. 4.6 7. The peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus Math. 7.7 8. Husbands for your Wives and Wives for your Husbands and both for your Children with the greatest reverence and the best expressions you can as to your heavenly Father who biddeth Ask and you shall have Thus may you obtain this great Blessing That Love may continue firm and constant between Husband and Wife whilest you live to your comfort and joy in Christ Jesus for ever which that it may be by Gods Blessing and shall be my daily Prayer for you all And that all Honour and Glory may be given to God the Father God the Son and God the blessed Spirit now and for ever Amen Some Divine Prayers for Husbands and Wives That God will be pleased to give them spiritual wisdom and strength in and by the Grace of Christ for the faithful performance of their mutual Duties that a blessing may be from God upon them and their Posterities for ever Drawn by the Author according to the matter and end of this Gold Chain of Directions A Morning Prayer for the Husband or wife or either of them with their Family or any other fit Person to Pray when the husband is absent