to all living Creatures which bring forth and hath given them Breasts like overflowing Fountains by which the young one being nourished may by degrees be augmented and corroborated in the Parts of its Body she hath also therefore given them two Paps that if they brought forth Twins they might easily suckle and nourish them together which things although they are transacted with great wisdom yet they would seem done in vain if she had not Implanted in them a certain stupendious love and affection to their Issue Where the peculiar care and diligence of Nature may be observed for whereas she hath placed other Creatures Paps under their Bellies she hath so affixed Womens Breasts to their Bosoms that they might both suckle them with their Milk and cherish them with their embraces and easily and conveniently kiss them and as it is said receive them into their Bosoms for so she hath assigned to them the capacity of bringing forth and the duty of education not only of necessity but of her singular love and good will that which we perceive in the terrible Bear and savage Beasts is also a great argument if they would imitate them to induce Women to employ their greatest care in adorning their Childrenâ— who after she hath brought forth her mishapen Cub formeth and polisheth it with her Tongue as it were with some Instrument so that she may most rightly be termed not only the Dam of the Cub but also the Artificer Why should we insist upon these small matters Nature concedeth so great a love to Issue that we may perceive Brutes which of themselves are fearful hereby become most bold and those which were negligent most subtle and those which were greedy most sparing Did not also the Bird in Homer suffer hunger that it might provide food for its young ones and to supply them defrauded its own Belly Therefore Mothers will deserve grievous reproaches if they neglect the care of their Children and live carelesly I would have them to refuse no pains to obtain most excellent associates assistants and comforters in their old age therefore if Mothers would be innocent they should not neglect their Children but that they may provide for their Souls and Bodies they should cherish them and suckle them whom being unknown they nourished with their own Blood being now born now Men and Women now known now dear and they should themselves as well as they could educate them it is not only the duty of a Nurse but also of a careful Mother The Wife of Marcus Cato the Censor suckled her Infant with her own Milk which Custome continueth among the Roman Women even to this Age. Moreover because a Society in Meat and Drink increaseth love and friendship that she might render the Children of her Servants well affected to her Infant she sometimes gave them suck whom we desire and exhort the best Wâ—men to imitate especially since it is highly important that in whose Womb and of whose Blood the Inâ—ant was conceived it should also by her be nourished for no nourishment seems more fit none more wholsome than that the same aliment which is endued with much heat and vigour and which is a known aâ—d familiar Food should be given to the Children whose efficacie is such that in the forming the properties of the Body and Mind it is almost equivalent to the Virtue of the spermatick faculty this is evidently perceived in many things Kids being suckled with Sheeps Milk their Hair will by degrees become more soft but if Lambs be suckled by Goats it is certain that their Fleeces will become more rough In Trees it is certain that there is a greater efficacy both in the Sap and Soil than in Children for although they be pleasant and chearful yet if they be removed to anothers Lap you may observe them much endamaged and greatly changed by the Milk of the Nurse Therefore noble Women should endeavour to sucklâ— their Children left the aliment of a worse and engrafted Milk should cause them to degenerate â—ut if as it often happens the Mothers cannot for just causes suckle their Children they should think that they should take and substitute in their Office Nurses not Slaves nor strangers nor drunken nor unchaste Women but them who are free born well humoured and endued with curious Language lest the young Infant should imbibe corrupt manners and words and with the very Milk sucking turpitude errours and impure infirmities it should by a degenerate body and mind be infected with pernicious contagions for as the Joints of an Infant may be rightly formed and joined together so from their Childhood their Manners may be exactly and aptly composed therefore they should be curious in the choice of Nurses this age and this as yet pliant mind is most easie to fashion for as we Imprint a Seal upon soft Wax so the dispositions and distempers of the Nurse are wont to be Engraven upon Children whose inclination and nature how prevalent it is that most prudent Poet Maro demonstrates who relateth that Dido â—erming Aeneas not only fierce but cruel said The Hircanian Tygers gave you suck also that most pleasant Poet Theocritus complaineth of the same detesting the cruel Cupid not because he was born of his Mother Venus but because he had sucked the Paps of a Lioness Wherefore they should think it best and very decent and commendable to suckle their Children whom they should nourish with great love faithfulness and diligence or to commit this part of their duty to well instructed Nurses who may esteem and love them not with a feigned and mernary diligence After they have passed their infancy the mothers should imploy their Wit Care and endeavour to qualifie them with excellent endowments of mind and body first they should teach them their duty to the immortal God to their Country and Parents that they may accustom them from their infancie to relish that which is the Foundation of other virtues they will approve themselves to be the most hopeful who fear God obey the Laws honour their Parents reverence their Superiours are affable to their Equals and courteous to their Inferiours therefore they should entertain all men with a civil aspect countenance and finally obliging words but they should most familiarly converse with the best Persons they should so learn Temperance in Meat and Drink that they may lay as it were the foundation of Abstinence for their future Lives Mothers should admonish them to avoid those Pleasures which are dishonourable Children should apply their endeavour mind and thoughts to these things which may be ornamental useful and delightful in greater matters If Mothers instruct their Children in these things they will much better and more easily obtain the assistances of Learning Oftentimes we see the Commands and Gifts of Princes most welcom to their Subjects although yet the same proceeding from private Persons scarce seem acceptable Who is ignorant how much authority the mild and jejune speech of a Parent
LICENSED Novemh 3. 1676. Roger L'Estrange DIRECTIONS FOR LOVE AND MARRIAGE In two Books Written Originally by Franciscus Barbarus a Venetian Senator And now Translated into English by a Person of Quality LONDON Printed for John Leigh at the Bell and Tho. Burrell at the Golden-Ball under St. Dunstans Church in Fleetstreet 1677. TO THE READER Reader TReatises of this nature perhaps may not be very welcome to some who too much inclining to the licentious humour of this depraved Age decry Marriage as a restraint upon their Liberty Their more refined wits scorning to tread one step in the beaten paths of their wiser Ancestors and utterly explode that which all Nations and all Ages the wisest Men and even God himself hath allowed as sacred Though I fear it will not please some yet I hope it may not be unseasonable to prevent others from adhering to see pernitions and impolitick an opinion This Treatise was first written in Italian and so well liked of that it was translated into Latine and printed in Holland where it hath gained an Universal Applause It is now at last translated for the benefit of the English Reader from the generality of whom it hopes for a favourable reception The Table of the Chapters of the first Book Concerning the Endowments of a Wife CHAP. I. WHat Wedlock is and what are its advantages CHAP. II. With what qualifications and manners a Wife should be chosen CHAP. III. Concerning the Age of a Wife to be chosen CHAP. IV. Concerning the Nobility of a Wife to be chosen CHAP. V. Concerning the Beauty of a Wife to be chosen CHAP. VI. Concerning the Riches of a Wife to be chosen CHAP. VII Concerning the importance of time and of other things to change our purposes CHAP. VIII Concerning Nuptial Solemnities The Table of the Chapters of the second Book Concerning the Duty of a Wife CHAP. I. Concerning Gonjugal Love CHAP. II. Concerning the moderation of a Wife CHAP. III. Concerning the speech and silence of Women CHAP. IV. Concerning the Apparel and Attire of a Wife CHAP. V. Concerning the Food of a Wife CHAP. VI. Concerning the regulation of Congress CHAP. VII Concerning Domestick care CHAP. VIII Concerning the Education of Children DIRECTIONS FOR Love and Marriage BOOK I. CHAP. I. What Wedlock is and what are its advantages I Shall first treat of a few things before I begin to discourse concerning the choice and duty of a Wife First I purpose to define in this place what Wedlock is that after the Example of Learned Persons it may in the beginning be understood what will be the Subject of our future Discourse For so the Sum of the Matter being known we may more easily and rightly judge of the rest Wedlock is therefore a perpetual Conjunction of Man and Wife lawfully instituted for the propagating of Issue or avoiding Fornication whereof there have been many and divers Opinions It would be tedious to enquire and to argue which of these is the true but the Opinion as well of the Eminent Pagans as of the Christians which by the consent of almost all Men is accounted praise-worthy seems better to me For the Romans that the City might be replenished with Legitimate Issue enacted that those who lived a single Life until old Age should be obliged to pay Money called Mulcts into the Treasury for they would follow Nature it self by which a desire of Congress for Procreation sake is communicated to every kind of Animals and which accounts her happiness to consist in those which are Procreated For the Sense of Generation also is apparent in Beasts For truly that I be not tedious in speaking of other things we all see a desire in Birds of building their Nests in which is observable a certain Representation of Wedlock to beget and nourish their like By this means even as the Body is nourished by Meat so the Offspring of Men and Beasts is perpetuated Lycurgus by whose excellent Laws the Republick of the Lacedemonians flourished but being neglected was overthrown hath branded them with Ignominy who continued their Celibacy thirty seven years and he prohibited them who as yet had not attained the Nuptial State to appear at the Wrestling-Schools that they being inflamed with a desire either of shunning Reproach or by the nobleness of the Reward the City might become greater and more glorious with Free-men Wherefore a certain young Man who for his honour sake departed not from the Theatre did very wittily apply this saying to Calicla the famous Emperour who had no Children at Lacedaemon where was the honourable Harbour of his old Age Neither have you O Calicla begotten me to depart It hath been experienced that by Legitimate Marriages Children are more disposed by Birth to honesty more gravely educated and become better Citizens of whom the City consisting will be more acceptable to its Friends in Justice more terrible to its Enemies in Valour For Experience that Mistress hath made it most evident that those who are unlawfully and intemperately Begotten for the most part are flagitious and dishonest and more propense to wickedness The Lustre of their paternal glory does not permit them who are Legitimately born to be obscure who are sensible that the Trophees of their Parents brings more Burden than Honour unless their own Virtue correspond to the Dignity and Amplitude of their Ancestors Neither truly are they ignorant that expectation and as it were the repetition of Hereditary Virtue turns the Eyes of all upon themselves So we may term those who are Born to Repute The Walls of a City When a certain Person complained Agesilaus being present that Lacedaemon wanted Walls he said O ye Gods grant better things Our City it self is its own strongest Wall For indeed it is fit that we preserve and defend our Country Gods Houshold-Gods Altars Houses Parents Wives and Children not by Wood or Brick but by Valour What also is more pleasant than to prevent a common want by domestick care and to have a chaste Woman who may be a sociable and friendly Wife in prosperous and adverse Affairs To whom you may disclose your most secret thoughts concerning her Affairs To whom you may commit your little and mutual Children In whose speech and pleasantness you may lay aside all your cares and griefs Whom you may so love that you esteem some part of your Life included in her welfare Cato the Censor thought that there was so much Respect and Veneration due to this state that whosoever should offer violence to his Wife he publickly affirmed was equally to be prosecuted and detested with the violators of the Images of the Goddesses and it 's related that he was wont to say that he thought it more difficult to be a good Husband than to be a good Senator By this tye Cadusius reconciled the most seditious Carians amongst themselves by this alliance Cyrus appeased the Chaldeans that were at enmity with their Borderers and at Rome in the same day the Sabins
the discourse love and delight of all Men for at the Rape of the Sabines a certain most excellent Virgin although she was preserved by his Authority was snatch'd away from him by his almost unknown Companions but the amiable and popular commemoration of Thalassius delivered her from that imminent peril with whom when he was happily married the Custom of invocating him was introduced in Nuptials Therefore that my discourse may return from whence I digressed there is such an efficacy such an union in this Nuptial Compact that the illustrious duty to Parents is obscured by the splendour of this alliance for the husband may as well by the Authority of the Ancients as of our Religion so confine his Affections to the love of his wife that others being omitted he may esteem delight in and please her Hither refers that most grave witness Homer who asserts that Hector although he could undauntedly sustain the loss of his Parents Brethren and lastly of his Country yet he could not bear the thoughts of the future dangers of Andromache his well deserving wife Herein Barbarus that most valiant Hero is so meek and so mild that verily he may be thought to have been another person For being exalted with the glory of his past actions he anxiously pensively and sadly complained nothing concerning his own many things concerning the event of his wife Therefore lest I be tedious we will acquiesce in this one Example for truly the frequent and many more than I wish Examples hereof every where which are often unworthily compacted do asperse the Authors with many stains of infamy I omit now the Garlands wherewith both the Spouse and the Postâ— were wont to be adorned I now pass by the Furniture and other Preparations which as herein I do not disapprove so I judge them accommodated to magnificence It was a Custom that those Fingers of the wife should be adorned with Gold Rings which were next to the little Fingers of the left hand whence it is believed that they are called Ring Fingers that it might be a perpetual monument before their Eyes of great love to their Husbands for from those Fingers as some Authors affirm some particular Nerves extend themselves to the heart It was a Custom that water and fire should be carried before the Bride and that she should touch them both that it might be evident that the wife was chiefly for the sake of propagation of Issue for as heat and moisture which excel in those Elements are the causes of Generation so the union of man and woman is chiefly introduced for the propagation of Issue Brides are wont to be careful lest they should touch their Husbands Threshold with their Feet but they enter being carried over that they may signifie that they lose their sollicited Virginity not voluntarily but in a manner by compulsion wherefore among those Ancients it was not lawful that Virgins should be espoused as well on certain days as also on all the Calends dedicated to Janus because a violence in a manner seemed to be done to them which then was a hainous offence yet at these times no Religion prohibited the Marriages of Widow because as Verrius Flaccus asserts we may on Holy-days scour old Ditches but we may not make new The ignorant Heathens have dedicated the Threshold to Janus who lest in the first access he should seem as it were to be spurned and neglected it was the Custom to be lifted over not to go over the Threshold Also on Holy-days wherein the multitude of people were entertained with Lupercal or Megalensian or Circensian Sports or with some other spectacle the Marriages of Virgins were prohibited but they were permitted to Widows Some think that this was chiefly instituted for this reason that Virgins might observe those days remembring that the Sabines were ravished upon a day of Sports which matter attracted much dishonour and was the beginning of a grievous and perillous War But it was not prohibited to Widows or to them who were divorced for they had no cause to blush if their former Husbands being either dead or living all the people were absent being attentive in the Theatre whilst they celebrated their Nuptials It is expedient if our Estates will permit that our Marriages be splendid neither should we deprive them of this part of praise for many worthy persons have applauded Banquets and the Sports of Gladiators and the preparations of Pastimes for the people with which Theophrastus was so pleased that he termed the Expences of this sort which appertained to the entertainment of the multitude the most delightful product of riches Why should I now mention Q Mulius C. Appius Hortensius Syllanus P. Lentulus Scaurus Pompey those Crassus's and Lucilius's who delightfully ended the Curule Office with the most magnificent Festivals and Solemnities which yet have been and are reproved by many most grave persons But I can find none who disapprove the splendour of Nuptials many who approve it Aristotle that most learned person who is wont to be stiled the principal and chief of the Philosophers in those Books which he hath written concerning Manners approveth this kind of magnificence even in the best men That excellent person and most famous Philosopher Manuel Chrysoloras espoused to a Wife his most learned Nephew and that most excellent Gentleman John for whose Nuptials when there was a most splendid preparation and therefore the dignity of that grave Philosopher was reproached by one of his Familiars he said O ye Gods grant better things it is permitted us to be magnificently joyful in the most delightful things and unless we be injurious to our Neighbours that splendour which is suitable to the dignity of our Family can no where be omitted Why should we say more the matter it self which always avails most speaks for it self and needeth not a longer discourse But large Banquets which elsewhere are disapproved here they are not disliked Moreover we know that the Custom of the Sabines was to introduce pleasant discourse that no occasion may be omitted of exhilarating body and mind for the same reason Stage-Players were admitted who were so much esteemed in the City of Rome that all the Masters of that Art being dead they sent for Players out of Hetruria that most flourishing Province of Italy of whom he who was the eldest and most skilful in his Art was called Histrus as Claudius Ruffus relates from whom afterwards all the other were termed Histriones as the Epicureans Pythagoreans and Gnathons are so nominated from their Authors It is most certain that Neighbours and Kindred were invited to Marriages both in the former and our Age that all to whom either the honour or the pleasure of the Nuptials should extend might rejoice with them Solon one of the seven Wise men instituted that when a Wife is joined to her Husband she should eat a Quince that he might in a manner signifie that the sweet voice and pleasant speech of the Wife should
if she shall see me almost Shipwracked whilst in the mean time she Sailing with prosperous Winds securely casts Anchor in my Marriage-Bed Euripides according to his Custome severely chideth them who at Supper were accustomed to use a Harp for that sound is apt to incite anger and sadness rather than to recreate them who are pleasant so I may blame those Wives who although when aâ— amity and concord they often sleep with their Husbands yet anger intervening they lye asunder and reject conjugal embraces by the delectableness and artifice whereof they might easily be reconciled Juno in Homer to whose care the Nuptial ties are committed signifies the same for if I well remember when she spoke of Thetis and Oceanus she professed that she would compose their differences and unite them by love and mutual embraces But at Rome when any difference arose between Husband and Wife they entred into the Temple of the appeasing Goddess where the Spectators being withdrawn having discoursed together freely they returned home in concord it conduceth to domestick care and peace if a Wife shall preserve the love of her Husband with singular diligence When Gorgias Leontinus made an Oration concerning the reconciliation of the Grecians in the Olympick Games which were celebrated with the concourse of all Greece to the most great and most worthy Jupiter Melanthus said That our Oratour endeavours to perswade us that we should all be reconciled by a League who yet cannot induce himself and his Wife and his Maid three only mutually to agree for his Wife was jealous because Gorgias wonderfully loved his Maid Philip was long displeased with Olympias and Alexander in the mean time Demaradus Corinthius returned out of Greece whom when Philip had diligently and earnestly asked concerning the agreement of the Grecians he said O Philip I esteem it a most dishonourable thing that you should manifestly evidence your care of the peace and concord of all Greece when as yet you are not reconciled to your Wife and Son therefore if any Woman desire to regulate her Children and Servants in the first place she should agree with her Husband lest she be thought willing to imitate that which she reproves in them that therefore by her duty she may take care for their mutual peace and perpetual repose she must chiefly regard this that she by no means disagree with her Husband But of these things hitherto CHAP. I. Concerning Conjugal Love NOW let us speak of conjugal love the great efficacy and dignity whereof as worthy Men assure us in a manner expresseth the Pattern of a perfect friendship wherein I shall pass by many things that I may speedily discourse what is chiefly to be observed therefore I would have a Woman love her Husband with so great delight faithfulness and affection that nothing of diligence love and good will may be absent and let her be so conversant with him that it may be most certain that nothing will be good to her nothing pleasant without her Husband indeed I conceive that Love it self will be the greatest assistance to this matter for in all things it is no better nor no shorter course to seem than to be How much labour how much industry is necessary for a slothful Husbandman to exhibit if he would seem skilful How much wit how many arts have unskilful Physitians horse-riders and harpers need of that they may seem to excel others if they would be employed in those things which they can least do For the most part many things happen whereby the eounterfeit praise of Agriculture Physick Horsmanship and Musick vanisheth these persons if they will take my advice shall more easily more speedily and more certainly attain a solid and express repute than if they shall suborn proclaimers of their ambitious and feigned praise and because in every respect truth overcomes imitation the Husbandman should take care to till his Field by art and labour the Physitian to heal the distempers of men the Horse-rider to manage his unruly Horses at his pleasure and the Musitian so to delight with his melody that nothing may be more sweet nothing more pleasant to the Ears wherefore if Wives desire to seem to love their Husbands cordially let them love them in their hearts Let them endeavour in the first place that their Husbands may clearly perceive them to be both pensive and joyful according to the various state of their affairs for both congratulation is pleasant in prosperous and consolation is acceptable in adverse affairs whatsoever things are troublesome to them so that they be worthy to be told to a prudent person let them mutually impart let them feign nothing let them dissemble nothing let them conceal nothing oftentimes sorrow and trouble of mind is mitigated by Counsel and Discourse which ought to be most pleasant with her Husband he in a manner participating and partaking of all the pressures and difficulties of all her anxieties will extinguish or alleviate them but if they shall be very grievous and more deeply fixed she should make a truce with her sorrows even so long as will be expedient for her to desire the private society of her Husband finally I would that Wives should so live with their Husbands that in a manner they might be of one mind and if it could be done as Pythagoras would have it in friendship that two should become one That this might more easily be effected the Cretenses who now for many Ages have been under our Dominion permitted their daughters to be married to none but those to whom the Virgins themselves had expressed signs of love for they believed that those would be more beloved by their Wives who were beloved even before the Nuptial Union for they affirm that it is appointed by Nature and approved by Custom that all actions besides a very few are done in a course of time for neither when we touch the fire are we presently burned nor doth wood thrown into the fire instantly flame wherefore they think it necessary for them that as in the loving of Friends so also in Husbands they should judiciously chuse the resemblance of their own minds for they believe that they can neither be rightly known nor ardently loved on a sudden Let them consider how much this Custom should be approved But truly it will not be denyed to be accommodated to the concord and constancy of love Neither may I pass by those in silence who by amorous Potions and love Inchantments extort their Husbands love whom I am wont to compare to Fishers who render the Fishes taken by poyson as they use to do in some places of Hetruria insipid and almost useless Also they seem like Travellers who had rather lead the blind than follow them who see Therefore mutual love should be diligently and voluntarily acquired preserved and augmented These things are illustrated by the lives and most noble actions of Women in the imitation whereof Panthia making tryal of her self and the
nor Exhortations if they would be such as they ought to be And lest we should any longer defer those things which are most diligently to be considered by us we put a period to these things CHAP. VII Concerning Domestick care BOth the time and the place require our discourse concerning Domestick care concerning which I would have those few things expected which we perceive by common experience most expedient but those things which are written by learned men I cannot include within this little and narrow place because neither do all things appertain to this discourse and time and every one may know those things by their Books it shall suffice out of many things that those things which are necessary and may be treated of very briefly and most easily shall not be pretermitted in these our little Commentaries I would have therefore the whole care of the Domestick Affairs chiefly employed about Estates and Servants or dependents and the education of Children we will briefly treat of this last but we will first dispatch those two former points for we esteem the care of our Estates and diligence about our Servants and dependents necessary for we have need of estates and servants without the plenty and assistance whereof the family affairs cannot consist in which things truly the moderation of domestick affairs is for the most part contain'd and which unless they be established by the Councils and Precepts of the Wife have no Foundation and are wont to be in great disorder for as naturally men are endued with a strength of Body and Mind as well for other causes as that they may enrich their Familes by Industry Labour and finally by many perils so as I conjecture women are naturally weak that they may more diligently manage their Houshold concerns for fear cannot be without care nor care without vigilance What availeth it to bring much home unless the wife will keep preserve and distribute it for what else is fabulously written concerning the Daughters of Danaus who filling a bored Hogshead were tormented with a perpetual and vain labour My opinion is which I hope O Laurentius that you will approve that no small advantages arise from this the Wives custody For truly that was well said by Augustus Caesar that most prudent person Alexander would have obtained far more renown and profit if he could have kept and defended what he had gotten than by the assistance of Fortune to have atchieved the greatest matters wherefore wives ought not to be defrauded of their praise if they shall order whatsoever is placed at home as it is their duty therefore they should endeavour to remember that as dayly Pericles at Athens so they should govern their Families and should be willing always to judge themselves lest they be deficient in their care performance and diligence about Domestick Affairs It greatly conduceth to this matter if they which chiefly belongeth to them accustom themselves to stay at home and to take care of all things where I remember that prudent Groom who when he was asked what chiefly made an Horse fat said the Masters Eye Which duty that it might be recommended to posterity an ordinary Shoe and a Distaff and Spindle were affixed to the Brazen Statue of Caja Cecilia the Daughter of Tarquinnius that those things might in a manner signifie that her diligent residence at home should be imitated by Posterity What negligent Farmer can hope to have industrious Husbandmen What slothful General can make his Souldiers vigilant for the Common-wealth If therefore the Wife would have her Maids stay at home she should not only instruct them by words but she should demonstrate shew and declare by her actions what they ought to perform Nothing truly is more excellent in Family Affairs than that every thing be placed in its own station for order than nothing which is more decent nothing more useful is always of the greatest importance We may behold a company of Singers and Armies amongst whom unless a proportion be aptly observed they can be termed nothing less than either Armies or Singers I would have Wives to imitate the Ringleaders of Bees who know receive and preserve whatsoever is placed within their Hives and until the necessity of their concerns shall otherwise require they are always present with their Honey-combs that they may be exquisitely and maturely perfected Wives may send abroad their Men and Maid-servants if they perceive it will be advantageous to them but if they be useful at home they may require urge and command their presence They should judge it to appertain to their duty that no dammage accrue to their Husbands in the Pantry Wine-cellar and Oyl-cellar As Generals often view the numbers of their Souldiers so Wives should often and most diligently recognise those things which are placed at home lest at last to their great detriment they should perceive that what should be of a years scarce is of a months duration The Custom of Pericles greatly deceives unskilful persons and oftentimes impedes the Family Affairs who sold together all the fruits which he received from his fields and afterwards he provided from the Market whatsoever he had need of at home from day to day for this daily manner of providing Corn and Wine and Wood is rather fit for a Traveller and an unsetled Souldier than a Citizen and a Master of a Family neither do they so liberally so splendidly nor so profitably provide for their Riches But if any one shall object That he hath observed this to be the fault of the Caterer even in my opinion he should judge that the negligence of the Agents of the Wife is rather to be blamed than the Opinion of the wisest men I think this should be imitated from the Roman Custom That the most noble Women should not be employed in the vilest things for the noble Women by the League that was made with the Sabines were enfranchised from the Employments of the Mill and Kitchen and servile Services But indeed if the sickness of the Husband or an occasion of honouring of Guests shall happen they may undertake such kind of Employment for if it may conduce to the health of the Husband not onely nothing should be pretermitted but we detest any omission I am infinitely pleased to see in that most Learned Poet and Philosopher Homer that Andromache had so great love and affection for her Hector that she was diligent and exact even in giving Hay to his Horses in which the Honour and Life of her Husband consisted Therefore if a Wife applies her mind to her Duty and her Honour she will acknowledge that all things are due to and she will perform all things for her Husband but if a liberal Husband shall purpose nobly to entertain some Persons at his House she should not refuse even the Office of the Kitchen which was not unknown to those generous and most valiant Persons Achilles and Patroclus to whom when Vlysses and Ajax came to be
reconciled having laid by his Harp he managed those things with great diligence which unless they had been decent for the sake of Friendship or Hospitality scarce seemed fit for mean Servants But enough of these things forasmuch as we proposed briefly to recite but not to instruct in each particular especially because this Point is more diligently and more copiously discussed in the Discourses of Learned Men than I can now treat of it Wherefore we shall proceed to the remaining Matters It is meet now as we have promised to speak concerning Servants who if they be not neglected will be very ornamental profitable and delightful This will be so effected if they shall instruct them exactly nor be angry with them before they discover that they have offended after admonition I would have Wives imitate the Ring-leaders of the Bees as in a manner in other things so also in this part who suffer none to be slothful none negligent among them M. Cato the elder so diligently observed this Precept of domestick care that if he perceived that his Servants were deficient in the duty of good Men he presently sold those Servants although old and judged it by no means expedient to keep unprofitable Servants at his House Wives should believe it to be an honourable employment for them to make ignorant Maid servants skilful and to her whom by experience in lesser matters they observe to be endued with faithfulness and diligence they may dispose the custody of the Cellar And thrifty Persons should constantly search for and approve sober Caterers and receive them with courteous words and be bountiful to them that by these great kindnesses they might daily more earnestly excite their diligence They should allow such Food to their Servants as may be sufficient for their nature and their constant labour They should so handsomely Cloth their Servants that they might seem to have a regard to Nature Place and Time Furthermore according to the Opinion of Hesiod they should always beware of those Servants who cannot be separated from Children and Relations for of necessity they will nourish themselves together with theirs even by stealth Also they should think it a decent thing if any one of the Family be sick that the Person be taken care of with certain extraordinary diligence for this is a courtesie and civility by which they will make them all diligent in and desirous of the welfare of the Family which that we may return to the same Example we plainly perceive in Bees who never forsake their Ring-leader because of his great Providence for and care over them and always follow him wheresoever he goes with great indications of their good will to him This should not seem strange to any because also other Creatures are not deficient in an imitation of gratitude which evidently appears as well by very many others as by the next Example The Athenians in the Persian War that they might provide for their safety forsaking their Walls committed the Citizens to the Sea they hastily departing from the Shore the Dog of Xantippus the elder was grieved at his absence which he manifestly shewed by his running wagging his Tail howling and barking unless he went along with his Master therefore whilst he swimmed in the midst of the waves to his Masters Ship Xantippus who was flying stood still and received the sorrowful Dog Afterwards lest this matter which was worthy of remembrance should be forgotten when his Dog died he erected an honourable Sepulchre for him in a certain noble place which for a long time after was called Dogs-Grave that he might leave a perpetual Monument to Posterity of a mutual kindness to be preserved between Masters and Servants In this manner it will be most expedient that as in Military Affairs Legates Tribunes Centurions and in the City Pretors Treasurers and such kind of Magistrates have the government of peculiar matters that managing few things they may exactly perâ—orm their Offices so if Wives would take care of their Family-business they should so separate the Office of inspection from the employments of drudgery that it may be manifest what should be done by every one and what may be expected from them Unless each Persons place be assign'd him in a Ship all things will be tumultuous although no Tempest assail them We know that Heaven it self which is an appointed Mansion for us is composed with so great a concatenation of things that one part is linked to another and all are aptly fixed together By the strings of Harps if they be well tuned one Harmony is made of divers Notes than which nothing is more pleasant nothing more melodious to the Ears so if Wives shall appoint Stations to theis Concerns and Offices to their Servants they will perceive that those things will greatly conduce to their splendour and profit therefore as I have said before they should receive preserve and distribute with care prudence and decency those things which are brought home and they should most exactly perform whatsoever things may be set in order and meliorated by care and diligence that the dignity of their Family may be confirmed and increased But these things shall suffice CHAP. VIII Concerning the Education of Children THE education of Children the most commodious and by far the most important part of the Wifes duty remains Diligence in Family Affairs in the accumulation of Riches availeth in a manner nothing as that ancient Crates was wont to say unless a great care and a certain extraordinary industry be bestowed in the education and instruction of the Children to whom they are left by this matter also they are greatly obliged to their Parents to whom they owe all things by whom they must necessarily and truly seem deserted and forsaken unless their Parents shall perform the duty of maintaining and instructing them for truly we must acknowledge that all things are due to the Authors of our Life which naturally all Mortals desire and with great reason preserve What great things should we atchieve if a generous education shall accompany our noble birth wherein if you shall diligently consider all things in your mind and thoughts you may observe that if Mothers do not derogate from Nature it self the duty of education so appertaineth to them that they cannot refuse it without the violation of many duties for it in every respect denotes a propense love to their Children whom Nature doth not at all neglect which that it may be more evidently demonstrated I should now discourse concerning the Procreation of Children before their birth but time will not permit me to digress more largely and Nature it self hath so secluded and so obsconded those parts that those things which cannot be beheld without shame can scarce be discoursed of by us with honour But we will declare those things which cannot be omitted Nature it self carefully exhibits aliment to the Issue till it attaineth its appointed time of birth moreover Nature affords the nourishment of Milk