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A01391 The friers chronicle: or, The true legend of priests and monkes liues T. G., fl. 1623.; Gainsford, Thomas, d. 1624?, attributed name.; Goad, Thomas, 1576-1638, attributed name. 1623 (1623) STC 11511; ESTC S117209 32,307 72

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Iewes so that hee was glad to bee rid of it and tooke a piece of Parchment writing therein all his miracles and what the bloud was rowling it together and inclosing it in the beake of a Bird and so tying it hard cast it into the Sea but after 1200. yeeres the waues draue it into Normandy among certaine shrubs where a Duke found it and built the Abbey of Beck in the place For hunting of a Stagge and losing him and the dogges they were all found kneeling before the Birds bill which when it was searched discouered the secret and the miracle wrought the Duke to Deuotion and as I said made him build a glorious Abbey O manifesta phraenesis What say you to Christs bloud kept in Vyals gathered from vnder the Crosse by his Mother The teares of Christ the Swaddling bands of Christ the Milke of the Virgin Mary yea the very breath of Christ and the hornes of Moses What thinke you of the seuerall Saints and their Offices Saint Genniesne to cause Raine Saint Burbe Thunder Saint Maturin a Physician for Fooles Saint Acuire for Mad-men Saint Auertin for the diseases of the head Saint Entrope for the Dropsie Saint Mammard for the Paps Saint Phiacre for the Emerods Saint Maine for the Scabs Saint Genoa for the Gowt Saint Crepine for Shooes Saint Medard for smiling Saint Iob for the Pox Saint Roch for Coblers Saint Wendelin for Shepheards Saint Pelage a Neat-herd Saint Anthony a Swineherd Saint Gertrudia a Rat-catcher Saint Honore a Baker Saint Eloy a Smith Saint Hubert a Hunts-man Saint Luke a Painter Saint Nicholas a Mariner Saint George a Knight Saint Yue a Lawyer Saint Anne for things lost Saint Leonard to open Prisons Saint Feriol to keepe Geese Saint Wendalus to keepe Sheepe Saint Iohn to keepe Lambs Saint Hubert for Dogges with infinit others And is not this fine foolery or how can there be more palpable grosenesse O Sauiour what shall I now say to such a foolery as is vnanswerable whether all our Ladies make one Lady the Mother of Christ or not as Lady of Loretto Bononia Wels in Auergue Aix Nantuile Franckucile the Valley the Mountaine Mount-ferra Mount-guatier Mount Rowland Cabimont in Languedoc Our Lady of the Woods our Lady of the Fields of the faire Oake Walnut-tree Fountaine and at Chartres our Lady aboue and beneath our Lady of Crotes or in a Caue of Carmel of Snow What say you also to our Lady of recouerie of comfort of gladnesse of all ioyes of pitie of vertues of good tidings of good wishes and infinit others but what all one woman O blessed Iesu what absurditie is here Doe you thinke it is not worth the laughing at to obserue the many Masses wherewith the Friers and Priests maintaine their Gluttony in ringing singing quauering mumbling grumbling and pattering great little high low Masses with a sop of Wine dry Masses Masses for quick and dead Masses ad requiem Masses for all Ladies pitty vertue good newes and such like Masses of Saints Sebastian Godegran Guerlichon Aliuergo Andoch Masses for 11000. Virgins Fraternities Chanters Warriers and such like Yea what say ye to the Ornaments Albe Stole Girdle Maniple Amist Cope Chasible Platine Pix Censour and many other things A Gentleman being reproued for not vailing his Bonet when the Holy Water was cast on his head answered that if it had that vertue to penetrate to Purgatory it would no doubt goe thorow his Hat well enough In Burgandy neere a Village called Chaseule a Countryman hearing Ringers went into the Church and kneeled before a Crucifix standing neere the Belfry which fell downe and had almost dashed out his braines so that the Ringers were faine to leaue worke to carry him home Vpon his recouery he comes to the same Church againe and findes a yong smiling Crucifix in the place of the old for the other was broken in the fall which looking stedfastly vpon he could forbeare no longer but thus began Cast as good a countenance toward me as thou wilt I will neuer trust thee For if thou liue to be a man thou wilt be as vnhappy as euer was thy father who would haue kill'd me When Pope Leo the tenth was told by his Confessor that hee needed to feare nothing considering he had the keyes of heauen and the treasurie of the Church He answered in this sort Thou knowest that he which hath sold a thing hath no longer right nor interest therein therefore seeing I haue sold heauen and all to others I am afraid I shall haue nothing to doe there my selfe When Pope Iulius the second cast S. Peters Keyes into Tiber and tooke Saint Pauls sword he said alowd Saint Peters Keyes would stand him in no stead for the Warres but Saint Pauls sword would helpe him well The manner was among the Priests that went a begging for Saint Anthony to heat their little Crosses or brazen Images which when the women came to kisse and felt it very hot they would tell them that S. Anthony was not pleas'd with their Almes and the poore women so frighted would returne and fetch better There is a Story of Pudding Saint Peter in the Country of Berry to this purpose A Priests mayd powred swines bloud into a great Latine Bason which had the Image of Saint Peter embossed in it and whereinto the Curate was wont to put his offrings as it stood for showe vpon the Altar Now it happned that a droppe of the bloud was vnwash't out of it and so perceiued on S. Peters face whereupon the Priest rung the Bells and cryed A miracle which caused the neighbour parishes to meete at Procession had not another enuious Priest discouered the foppery and so it ended in laughter and ridiculousnes 11. Concerning their Impieties I will neither trouble you with the wicked Doctrine of Papists nor imposturing trumperies of Priests and Friers touching either the abuse of holy Scripture or mixture of their owne fancies with the written Word but shewe you certaine instances and examples whereby you may see with what daring hands worse then Ieroboams arme they haue reached to pull the good Prophets by the throates that is to say what attempts they haue made both in words and actions against Christ and true Religion Oh let such hand and armes wither as that wicked Kings did The Schoole-men determine that the Sonne of God might haue assumed any other nature besides that of Man The Idolatrous Gentiles and Aegyptians did not eate those creatures which they adorned as Gods and yet Alexander Hales and Thomas Aquinas will not onely haue men to deuoure their God and Sauiour like bread but affirme that Dogges and Hogges Mice and Birds may eate the true body of Christ. When the Pope goteh on progresse Christs body is sent before with the baggage and when the Pope is neere then it goeth out to meete him while all the Gallants of Rome attend on the Pope They make Saint Francis and Dominick equall to Christ in
hee could not bee perswaded or remoued from any other opinion but that it was an Angell appeared vnto him to make him glorious to posteritie Philip the Emperour and his Successor Otho were both brought to their destruction by the practises of Innocent the third And why may not I bring in heere that King Iohn of England was poisoned by a Monke of Swinsted Abbey seeing they themselues bring it in and insert it in their Stories About the yeere 1513. Henry of Lutzenburg was poisoned in the Sacrament by a Dominican Frier which Baptista Ignatius affirmes and Sleidan recites the reason from a motiue of Clement the fift because hee grew too strong in Italy but what followed many Friers of that Order were slaine afterwards by the Souldiers Pope Innocent the fourth was charged with the poisoning of Frederick the Emperour by meanes of Peter de Vinca but escaping at that time hee was afterward murthered by Manfrede by the same Popes practise Ioane Queene of Naples was murthered by the priuity and consent of Vrbane the sixt Charles King of Naples by the nefarious and bloudy counsell of Clement the fourth caused Conradinus and Frederick Duke of Austria to be put to death which at last cost the young Prince his life and so murther vpon murther followed and the Popes themselues were defamed for such hatefull mischiefe and treasons Sixtus the fourth was the principall contriuer of that treason whereby Iulian de Medices was slaine and his brother Laurence hurt in the Church of Reparata at Florence at the eleuation of the Sacrament For Volateran saith that the Pope knew of it and countenanced the malefactors Alexander the sixt most inhumanely caused Gemes the Turkes brother to be impoysoned being seduced and corrupted by the bribes of the Great Turke and promises of more money Henry the third of France was most shamefully murthered by a Dominican Frier called Iames Clement and the fact not onely allowed of at Rome but highly commended by the Pope The lamentable Story of that man of men Henry the fourth of France is not yet forgotten and whensoeuer it pleaseth God to spred abroad the carpet of reuenge oh what foule soules peraduenture will appeare vnder faire faces The late Prince of Orange was first wounded by Iohn Iauregui and afterward murthered by Baltasar Gerard being both perswaded by Masse-Priests and Friers that such a facinorous act must needs be meritorious I could also name Michael Reinion Peter de Four and Peter Pann animated to kill Prince Maurice all instructed by Priests and Iesuites who are indeed the very Incendiaries of the Popes furnace to set all Europe in combustion What should I trouble you further with their owne murthering one another for the Papacy with the cruelties of the Consistorian Cardinals and the exorbitant wickednesse which streameth all ouer the Citie and is more infectious to their soules then the plague which often happens in that place to their bodies 7. Concerning their Blasphemies I meane not to trouble you much with their oathes strange inuented oathes forswearings protestations execrations curses equiuocations or such like For I haue other things to make you amazed withall and such fearefull speeches hammered on the anuill of the Diuels shoppe that I must needs say with the Poet Horresco referens Yet I will begin gently and tell you it was a Prouerb a common Prouerbe in those times Hee sweareth like an Abbot A certaine Priest at Rome who had been angred by a Curtezan burst out into an oath and sware by Potta de la Virgine When the Monkes had no Wine they vs'd to send to their Brethren and say Date nobis de oleo vestro quia Lampades nostra extinguuntur A certaine Frier preaching of the Passion of Christ acted his gesture in such a maner that hee moued his auditorie to shed teares which when he perceiued he changed the accent of his voice and cryed out Weep not so greatly For perhaps it is not true which I told you A wicked Priest of Toures rayling on the Hugonets for putting their trust in Christ durst aduenture to tell them that for his part hee would beleeue the Pope before Christ. Iulius the third called Iohn de Maria de monte exclaimed thus that if God was so angry for the eating of an Apple how great reason had he to be raged at the losse of his Peacock which meat he loued so well Cardinall Bembus in a conference about their glory and wealth in the world exclaimed with a smile Oh what riches haue we gotten by this fable of Christ A popish Prelate rayling against Lutherans said plainely that sure Saint Peter at the first was a Lutherane For out of the presumption of his faith hee would needs come to Christ on the water and might thereby haue beene drowned if not saued miraculously Menot a Frenchman and Barlet an Italian said that if Christ had not been crucified the Uirgin Mary would haue performed it with her owne hands for the saluation of mankinde The Papists in generall confesse perfection in the rules of Monkes and Friers and the Masse-priests of Trent doe make traditions equall to Scriptures and they commonly deny Scriptures to be a perfect rule of life and doctrine The Turkes punish feuerely such as blaspheme Christ but Papists I meane the Monkes and Friers teare him in pieces with their hands and mouthes For such are thought to be most cleere of Heresie that can sweare most wickedly and blaspheme outragiously Though Papists professe Iesus Christ c. yet doe they teach that Dogs and Hogs doe eate his body as oft as they eate the consecrated Host. The Pope is called the soueraigne Lord of Purgatorie and can deliuer soules from thence by Indulgences and Pardons The Turkes deny all manner of God-hood in man yea in their owne Prophet Mahomet and verily beleeue that Cosdras was vanquished by the Romanes for calling himselfe a god but the Popes not onely call themselues so but haue decreed it hereticall to thinke otherwise I could loade you with examples but these shall suffice For I would not raise this mount too high considering I determine but a kinde of hillocke to ouer-looke the neighbour fields and easie passages onely I will adde hereunto how God hath been displeased with these men euen as farre as desperate deaths and punishments yet neither haue they repented but dyed in their perfidious blasphemies nor others taken warning but continued in their malicious wickednesse The Chancelour of France cried out on his death-bed Oh Cardinall thou hast sent vs all to the diuell Bonanenture de Periere author of that detestable booke called Symbolum mundi ran himselfe vpon his sword and dyed most desperately as Razis and others in Switzerland threw themselues headlong from high Rocks by reason of the blasphemies of Popes prelates The Chancelor and Legat du Prat made a faire Hospitall of which Francis the first was wont to say it was not halfe large enough to lodge so many poore