of their Mortality amidst their glorious Exaltations CHAP. II. I. Of the place assigned her among the Popes and II. Of Pope Leo the IX's Letter to the Patriarch of Constantinople III. When and by whom this Fable was publish'd c. IV. The occasion of its Invention V. The little Credit it hath with the most Learned Adversaries of the Catholick Church HAving thus discovered a number of manifest Untruths Improbabilities Contrarities and Ridiculosities in the former part of this Story let us see if they can acquit themselves any better in the latter I. First then as to the place these Historians allot her among the Popes I find as grand a disagreement therein as in any other Passages before for some modern Authors place her between Pope Leo the IV. and Benedict the III. whereas Anastasius Bibliothecarius and Ado of Vienna occular Testimonies say expresly that after Leo the IV. there was but only fifteen days of vacancy and Benedict the III. was immediately chose Pope to which all of that Age agree that wrote the Pontifical History viz. Regino Hermanus contractus Lambertus Otho Frisingus Abbot of Versperg Joannes de Cremana and others But her Historians and Advocates say some of them that she held the Chair a Year and eight Months others but four Months others a Year and an half and others two Years one Month and four Days Fine Concordance again is it not Then some will have her succeed Leo the V. others Martin the I. and some Nicholas the I. some call her John the VII others Jobn VIII But 't is most certain that John the VII was a Grecian and was Pope nineteen Years before this pretended one and John the VIII was a Roman and presided twenty Years after and held the Seat ten Years so consequently these two Johns were neither English-men not Germans II. Then here occurs a very remarkable thing to be seriously considered wherein may farther appear the improbability of this Story viz. that about a hundred Years after the pretended Being of this Pope Joan Pope Leo the IX writing to Michael then Patriarch of Constantinople about the Precedency of the Church of Rome to abate his Pride reproaches him which a Woman and an Eunuch's he means Nicbolas and Ignatius holding the Patriarchal Seat of Constantinople the which certainly he durst not have done if the Church of Rome had been tainted with the same Ignominy and without all doubt the Grecians would have been very glad to have had such an opportunity wherewith to have censur'd the Western Churches if there had been the least appearance of Truth in the Story III. And here we may easily perceive another very evident sign of the falsity of this Story viz. in that all the Authors that lived in this Pope Joan's time and for 400 years after make not the least mention of any such Person for the first that published this Fable was one Martinus Polanus who wrote in the year 1320 and this Pope Joan lived in the year 870. And indeed neither did they nor most of those that wrote after them relate it as for a certain truth but speak of it rather as a Fable all of them reporting it with uncertainty and as a mere common Bruit IV. Then as to what gave the occasion of the invention of this Story I would have the Reader to consider that any one that shall impartially and judiciously read the Lives of the Popes even from St. Peter shall certainly find that there were three sorts of them in general One sort of them were certainly very eminent for their Sanctity and integrity of living but had not that singular Art or Prudence of Managing or Administring the Affairs of this World that is they were not so well acquainted with the Temporal Concerns of the World. Another sort of them there were who tho' they were their Crafts-masters in these Mundane Affairs and knew excellent well the manner and method of ruling these Temporal things with all Prudence and Justice yet these were not endued with so singular a Sanctity of Life as they should be but on the contrary were rather addicted to their disordinate and irregular Affections and Pleasures and had but little Zeal for the things of the Spirit But then there have been certainly a third sort that took something af the best from both and so Govern'd both with Prudence and Holiness Of this worst and middle sort then was Pope John the Twelfth who leading indeed a kind of Debauch'd Life and permitting himself to be Govern'd by a Debauch'd Woman whose Name was JOAN gave the People at that Time occasion to say That it was not the Pope but the Papiss that Govern'd all things V. Lastly to let you see the folly of this Fable I shall shew you what Credit it hath with the most learned of the Church of Rome's Adversaries and plainly prove that 't is worse than an old Wives Tale by their taking this Story for a meer Fable First then Mr. Blondel a French Minister and one of that account and esteem in Paris that he was chosen above all to Answer Cardinal Peron's learned Book this Mr. Blondel I say hath written a Book in French whis was Printed at Amsterdam 1647. on purpose to shew that this Story of a She Pope call'd Joan was a mere Fable And that we may not think that Blondel alone of all Protestant Ministers held this for a Fable Monsieur Seravius a great Calvinist and Councellor of the Parliament of Paris in a Letter of his to Salmasius having mention'd to him this Book of Blondel's adds these words Noli autem credere c. don't believe says he that Blondel was either the first or only Man of our Persuasion that was of this Opinion altho' perhaps no Man hath handled this Matter with more forceable Arguments for there have been famous Divines of the Reformed Religion of the same Opinion and there are yet living in this City Men famous for Fidelity and Piety who heard this History vulgarly credited accounted fabulous from Chamerius's own mouth I my self lately saw Letters of yours and my very good Friend the Learned Peter du Moulin wherein he affirm'd that he always believ'd the same I have Letters by me also of Bochart's wherein he averrs that whatsoever was hitherto Publish'd in favour of this Affair to the World was meerly Vain and Fictitious This Mounsieur Seravius wrote in a private Letter tho' his Son after his Death publish'd and printed it to a Friend of the same persuasion And thus you may plainly see how this Fable tho highly maintain'd by the Adversaries of the Catholick Church thus Expir'd at last as all Lies do and was carryed to its Grave upon the Shoulders of Four the most Famous French Ministers viz. Blondel Chamier du Moulin and Bochart The Life of Pope Joan as 't is written by B. Platina is as follows JOHN the VIII says he was of English Extraction but born at Mentz and is said to have
come from old Trees He often talk'd of a Vision he had had which made the General of his Order then in Spain question him in the presence of the Bishops of Oleron and Osma and conjure him in the virtue of holy Obedience to tell him punctually the truth touching the Vision he had seen whilest he led a secular Life And this man being very grave and very Circumspect accordingly did so to this effect At the time of Alphonsus the younger's Warres in Castile in the persuance of the Edict I sent one of my menial Servants named Sancius into his Army The Peace being made and he disbanded returning home he was soon seiz'd with a sickness which in few days took him away into the other World. He had the usual Obsequies done him and about four Months after as I lay one Night broad awake in my Bed I perceived a Phantòme in the form of a man who stirring up the ashes of my hearth opened the burning Coals which made him the more easily to be seen Altho I found my self much terrify'd with the sight of this Ghost God gave me the Courage to ask him who he was and for what purpose he came thither to lay my hearth abroad But he in a very low voice answered Master fear nothing I am your poor Servant Sancius I go into Castile in the Company of many Soldiers to Expiate my sins in the same Place where I committed them I couragiously reply'd if the Commandment of God call you thither to what purpose come you hither Sir said he take it not a miss for it is not without the Divine permission I am in a state not desperate wherein I may be helped by you if you bear any good will towards me Hereupon I required what his necessity was and what secours he expected from me You know Master said he that a little before my Death you sent me into a Place where men are not ordinarily sanctified Liberty ill Example Youth and Temerity all conspire against the Soul of a poor Soldier who hath no Government I committed many outrages during the late Warr robbing and pilling even to the Goods of the Church for which I am at this present grievously tormented But Good Master if you loved me alive as one of yours forget me not after Death I ask no part of your great Riches but only your Prayers and some Almes for my sake which will much assist to mitigate my pains My Mistress oweth me about eight Francks upon a reckoning between her and me let her bestow it not for my Body which hath no need of it but the comfort of my Soul which expecteth it from your Charities This Discourse embolden'd me and made me more desirous to entertain it than to fear the Apparition I demanded whether it could tell me any News of one of my Contry men named Peter Dâ—jaca Who died a while since To which he made answer I need not trouble my self with it for he was already in the number of the Blessed since the great Alms he gave in the last famine had purchased Heaven for him From thence I fell upon another Question and was Curious to know what had happened to a certain Judge Whom I very well knew and who had lately passed into the other Life To which he replied Sir speak not of that miserable Man for Hell possesseth him through the Corruption of Justice which he by damnable Practice Exerciced having an honour and Soul saleable to the prejudice of his Conscience My Curiosity carried me higher to Enquire what became of King Alphonsus the Great at which time I heard an other voice that came from a Window behind me saying very distinctly it is not of Sancius you must demand that because he as yet can say nothing to the state of that Prince but I may have more experience thereof than he I deceasing five years ago and being present in an accident which gave me some Light of it I was much surprized Unexpectedly hearing this other Voice and turning saw by the help of the Moons brightness which reflected into my Chamber a Man leaning on my Window whom I entreated to tell me where then King Alphonsus was Whereto he replied he well knew that passing out of this Life he had been much tormented and that the Prayers of good Religious men much helped him but he could not at this present say in what state he was Having spoaken thus much he turned towards Sancius sitting near the fire said let us go it is time we depart At which Sancius making no other answer speedily rose up and redoubled his complaints with a Lamentable voice saying Sir I entreat you once again remember me and that my Mistriss perform the request I made you The next day Engelbert understood from his Wife the Case to be so as the Spirit had told him and with all Observation disposed himself speedily and charitably to satisfy all was required Here I shall respit from further Arguments and Instances till such time as I am sensible of the Operations of these In the mean while believe me Sir sincerely yours c. THE HISTORY OF Pope Joan AND THE WHORES OF ROME Calumniare fortiter aliquid adhaerebit Terent. The Second Edition LONDON THE PREFACE TO THE READER Courteous Reader THou hast here presented thee some few Remarks on two grand Scandals thrown upon the Church of Rome Satan 't is true wus from the beginning and always will be a Calumniator for so his very Name imports in the Hebrew Language continually endeavouring by Lies and other wicked ways to prucure as he does many Proselites But without doubt Truth will at last prevail and then down goes Dagon which inestimable Jewel Truth we ought all of us to search after and purchase and having obtained it how glad will every one be when he sees himself disabused As in the two following Stories the first of which thou wilt see here crammed full of as many Contrarieties ridiculous Fables and Vntruths almost as the Turkish Alcoran which nevertheless hath been wonderfully and maliciously defended and improved by Hereticks and Polities that have been Flatterers of such Emperours as were professed Enemies of the Popes and who made it their Business wholly to misprise the Glory and anâ—â—hâ—latâ— if possible the Authority of the aforesaid Church What Platina so much esteemed by Protestants says of this Story in his Lives of the Popes I here give thee as 't is lately Translated by Mr. Ricaut who had done well to have taken his Annotator Onuphrius along with him who Detected and Corrected many of his Errors and among the rest this of Pope Joan. And as for Martinus Polonus the first broacher of this Story what a simple Historian he was may be seen from Onuphrius Then as for the Story of the Whores of Rome that 's as good currant Coyn as the rest as thou wilt perceive by what follows which that I may not keep thee too long from or make
mouth and his own certain Knowledge and Experience A Gentleman of the Religion whose Wife was one of the Popish Frie sends for his own Pastor to discourse with him being upon his last bed of Sickness and ready to depart she likewise appoints a Jesuit to be there who appears accordingly and both meet at the Bed's-side both plead for their own different Religion and perswade the Man to come over to their Party but after two hours smart Disputation at the Bar before these Judges the Gentleman was very well satisfied with the Religion that he had hitherto embraced and his Consort also by the prevalence of the Protestants Arguments began to incline to his Judgement The Jesuit finding himself foil'd went away discontented but returns a few hours after when the storm was blown over and the Coast clear desiring a private Conference with the Gentlewoman which was granted and her Garden was the Scene appointed for the ensuing Tragedy where they took a turn or two together and the Jesuit very earnestly expostulated with her and used all the perswasive and inclining Arguments imaginable to keep her from that supposed and falsely termed Defection from the Truth viz. the change of Religion and in the close of all his Discourse did very much importune her to do him that signal Favour as to accept of a little Box like Pandor'as as it fell out which he then and there presented to her and to wear it constantly about her for his sake which she received as innocently as courteously little dreaming of the ensuing mischief that after befell her for she no sooner had followed his direction but she fell into so great and absolute a Detestation of her Husband that she could never endure the sight of him afterwards and within two days died in this miserable condition an Act fitter for the sharp Sword of revenging Justice than the Pen of an Historian They are a People disesteemed and ill thought of in most Places where-ever they get footing for their Impieties and and wicked Practices They have been banisht France Hungary Germany Venice nay the Grand Turk upon the relation of their Vileness by Queen Elizabeth's Ambassador exiled them out of Pera near Constantinople They are hated by the common People in Spain tho the Subjects of the most Catholick King as appears by this Libel Los mandamientes de los Teatinos Mas humanos son que Divinos The Precepts of the Jesuits Teatine Are much more Humane than Divine And after the enumeration of their Decalogue or ten Commandments as to grow Rich feed well c. it concludes thus Estos diez mandamièntes se encierrian en das Todo para mi y nada para vos These ten are compris'd in two All for me and nothing for you I did not promise you as I remember to give you an Essay of Jesuitical Piquancy but yet if you please take this as an Argument of their pregnant Wit related by the deceased Author of the Holy State who speaking of Queen Elizabeth stiles her deservedly the Paragon of spotless Chastity whatever some Popish Priests who count all Virginity hid under a Nun's Veile have feigned to the contrary He proceeds farther and says One Jesuit made this false Anagram on her Edmund Campian by name Elizabeth Jezabel false both in matter and manner for allow it the abatement of the H as all Anagrams must Sue in Chancery for moderate favour which proved tho no Letter a guttural aspiration to the Composer yet was it both unequal and ominous that T a solid Letter should be omitted the Presage of the Gallows whereon the Anagrammatist was afterwards justly executed When Flies grow once so blind as to play with the Candle they either sindge their wings or burn themselves and when ill-boading Ravens dare be so haughty and proud as to fly at the Eagle the King of Birds may they all have the same fate as the Brother of this Jesuitical breed before mentioned Now let us anatomize and diffect the Members of this Catholick and Universal Head of the Church and see how they stand affected whether they are fit for Physick or Amputation Of their Priests Friars Nuns and Laymen WE will still continue our Method and begin with the Blasphemies Oaths and Execrations of the inferiour Clergy the Monks and Friars those Cannibals of the Crucifix Italy abounds in Blasphemies more than any other Country and therein the Clergy are far better Proficients than the Laity or else He swears like an Abbot would not be Proverbial Nor do I think as it is that is to be matcht that was belch'd out by a Priest at Rome Al dispetto di quel Can che pendeva nella croce I forbear the English of it because 't is so horrid an Expression and what should move him to this think you Nothing as he confess'd but that his Strumpet had played him a slippery Trick as if there were no way to be even with his Whore but to revile his God. A ghostly Father Preaching at Tours in France said These Hugonots are so impudently wicked as to renounce the Pope and his Authority but I 'll be bold to tell you that if Christ and the Pope were both here upon Earth and the one should command me to do a Thing and the other forbid me I would sooner obey the Pope than Christ An Italian Preacher broacht this blasphemous Doctrine in the Pulpit before a great Auditory that the Virgin Mary would have crucified our Saviour rather than he should go without Crucifixion strengthning his blasphemous Discourse with this strange Allegation that it did proceed from the longing desire that his blessed Mother had to hasten the Salvation of Mankind There is another story related by the same Priest much of the same nature That the Apostles drew up Articles of Impeachment against Christ and presented them to his Mother complaining that he was not as good as his word in sending the Holy Ghost upon them and that there was a Dissention between the Father and the Holy Ghost who feared to descend from Heaven and come into the World lest he should have the same course Entertainment as our Saviour had from the murthering Jews Another Priest by relating the Agony that our Saviour endured at his painful and shameful Death on the Cross drew Rivulets of Tears from the Eyes of his compassionate Auditory but he dried up all their Sorrow with this point of Consolation Weep not my Beloved for perhaps it is not true But the Devil himself with all his Hellish Assistance could never invent such Blasphemies as are found in the Book of Conformities printed at Milain by Gotard Pontice Anno 1510. As that Christ changed Water into Wine but once St. Francis thrice Christ felt the Pain of his Wounds but a small time St. Francis two whole Years compleat As for Miracles Christ did nothing comparatively to St. Francis for he cured a 1000 Blind and as many Lame both Beasts and Men cast