all their sins set in order before them Are they filled with horror and anguish Is some of the everlasting fire flasht in their Faces Does the Devil begin to torment them before the time Is God a terror to Mat. 8. 29. them and they a terror to themselves Are they weary of Life and yet afraid of Death Are they rackt and tortured and do they speak nothing but the language of Hell before they come there Are they cast at the Bar of Conscience before they are condemned at the Tribunal of their Supreme Judge Do they sensibly feel what horror attends the final doom Depart from me ye cursed Mat 25 41. Do they cry out and tremble as if they now heard it pronounced by their eternal Judge Does a righteous God commission Conscience to witness against Judge and Condemn them to sting and lash them in their last hours for the sins of their past Life And ought we not to take notice of and improve all this May not such a sight the remembrance of what we saw and heard in that hour awaken our Consciences startle our Spirits affect and warm our hearts May it not tend â—â—â—hew us the Justice of God the evil of 〈◊〉 and the infinite danger of neglectinâ— to hearken to the voice of God while it is câ—â—led to day May it not excite our diligence quicken our repentance and assist our preparations for Death and judgment May it not Arm us against the World the Flesh and the Devil and make us more resolved to hearken to the voice of the Spirit the checks of our own Conscience and the compassionate calls of mercy Would it not make us know the worth of time and put us upon husbanding redeeming and improving it to the best ends the Glory of God and Salvation of our Souls Would it not make us love Christ prize his sacrifice and value his blood more Would it not put us upon reviewing our lives searching our hearts and examining our state and amending what has been amiss Oh how much good may we get by the death of poor awakned sinners and how great is our folly and sin in case we don 't And can it be unprofitable and useless to mark observe and remember the more happy and comfortable end of the Righteous Shall we take no notice what is the end issue and conclusion of an Holy Life We should remember how they lived and how they died Did God in their sickness furnish them with patience and calmness submission and resignation to his Holy Will Were their Thoughts compos'd Minds setled Spirits calm their peace undisturb'd their Joy great and their Hope lively Was there a willingness to die and a desire to depart that they might be with Christ did God resolve their Doubts scatter the Clouds and help them to overcome their fears Has such an one been enabled to say Lord I am thine I lye at thy Foot here I am do to me dispose of me remove or continue my pains as thou wilt let me be well or sick live or die be recover'd or remov'd as thou pleasest Lord if thou hast any more Work for me to do I am willing to live and content my happiness should yet be deferr'd and I 'll acknowledg thy Grace if thou wilt yet use me and make me an Instrument of thy Glory but if my work be done and the number of my years be accomplisht I am willing Lord I am willing now to die if it be thy pleasure now to remove me if this sickness must be my last and end in death if to die now be really best for me and most for thy glory I will not draw back I am ready at thy call command and pleasure to lay down this Body and thanks be to God I can heartily say the Will of the Lord be done Have any of your Christian Friends or Holy Relations died thus Heavenly frame Blessed end Glorious triumph over Death and the Grave Ought we not and may it not be infinitely useful to mark and remember this How much may it contribute to maintain the Life of Religion and the Power of Godliness in us may not the memory of what we observ'd and saw at such a time confirm us in our holy Choice strengthen our Faith and throughly convince us Religion is not a vain thing Will it not recommend the Holy Ways of God set off Religion and make all holy exercises more sweet and pleasant to us but in particular may not an observing how they died afford matter of encouragement and support to us when we have sad and melancholy Thoughts as to our own departure how oft does many a poor sincere Christian in bitterness cry out How shall I with a Christian Patience an humble submission and an entire resignation bear long painful and tedious sickness how shall I be able to conquer the fear and submit to the stroke of Death How shall I be able to grapple with that Enemy and encounter the King of Terrors How shall I be able with joy and chearfulness without murmuring and repining to obey my Summons to Death and Judgment When I do but suppose my self sick weak and full of pain when I seriously think of my Coffin and Grave I tremble but Lord what shall I do when it comes to the trial thus it is with many and has it not been so with you at one time or other and may it not be so again and if it should how may the memory of the happy end of holy friends and relations administer to your support when thou hast the Death of such an one fresh in thy thoughts thou mayst say why art thou cast down O my â—sal 42. 5. Soul and why art thou thus disquieted within me Is it because this body must die How many holy ones are dead before me They were weak frail and imperfect as I am but God furnished them with patience courage and strength quieted their Mind calm'd their Spirits and husht their ruffling passions and when my hour comes I hope God will help me to die too Have not I the same God to depend upon the same promises to encourage me the same Jesus to stand by me and the same Holy Spirit to assist me I remember my holy Father died with comfort my holy Mother made an happy and peaceable End and why may not I Death is conquered it is conquer'd And the fear of it may be overcome I have seen it may and why should the fear of it keep me in a perpetual bondage How serviceable may it be to remember how other holy Men and Women have died before us Secondly Another duty with reference to those who died in hope is to give thanks to God for those assistances and that Grace which was vouchsafed to them â—â— a dying hour Surviving Relations who were Eye-witnesses of God's goodness to them who are departed should own acknowledge and praise God for it when they are dead and gone The dead cannot
pardon and save yonder penitent sinner and shall my prayer backt with the pleadings of that blood be shut out I have now but a little time my glass is almost run the day is far spent the shadows of the evening are stretched out the night will quickly come Lord be not angry if I renew my request urge thee with thy promise and lie at thy foot till I obtain my pardon and Conscience be enabled and authorized to read it I am miserable and without thy pity must be so for ever and Lord I cannot I will not take a denyal I am thine save me In this sickness I have Ps 119 94. been examining my heart searching my ways and I have done it seriously and impartially what sins I have found out I heartily bewail pardon these and those I have not Who can understand his Ps 19. 12. Errors Lord cleanse thou me from secret faults Blessed Jesus thou great friend and lover of Souls from this my sick and death-bed I look up to thee for help and mercy Oh stand my friend now plead my cause now and let me have the pardon thy blood did purchase thou didst die for me thou wast crucifyed for me and thy blood was shed for me and carest thou not if I now perish May thy Tears Mark 4. 38. Wounds and Blood speak and plead for me for I am sure they will be heard if mine cannot within a few days within a few hours I must appear before an Holy Just and Terrible God and I tremble O my Saviour I tremble to think any one unpardoned sin should meet me at that Tribunal Oh procure my pardon for me before I die if Satan meet me there to accuse me I know thou wilt answer him and plead for me But if any one unpardoned sin meet me there it will condemn me and I am lost and lost for ever I am not sinless I have not perfectly obeyed the Law but I am not impenitent To exercise repentance for my sin has been my daily work ever since my first conversion and it has been so particularly in this present sickness My heart hath been turned from the love of sin and now I loath it more than ever there 's nothing troubles afflicts and grieves me so much as sin vile sin cursed sin thou hast cost me more tears sighs and groans than all my pains have done I Repent I Repent Lord I do repent Oh! pity and spare spare and pardon pardon and love love and save me for ever Have mercy upon me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies and blot out Psal 51. 1. all my sin Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven whose sin is covered Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not Psal 32. 1 2. iniquity Blessed he and only he is the blessed man though he be a poor man a pained man a sick man a dying man yet he is a blessed man Oh that this blessedness might be mine I am now sick and I have no hope of recovery my body grows weaker and weaker and nature sensibly decays this earthly Tabernacle shakes and it will quickly tumble Death Pale and Grim Death is posting towards me I am near unto eternity but I cannot die I dare not step into the other unseen Eternal World with out a pardon Believing O my God that word of thine that word which to me is of more worth than a thousand Worlds Let the wicked forsake his way and the Psal 55. 7 unrighteous man his thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon I beg and through the mediation of thy Christ and my Jesus will expect the pardon of all my sins Let it be unto me according to thy word in which thou hast caused thy Servant to hope Amen IV. Of submission to the Divine will as to the time of our Death Many reasons to persuade to such an holy frame and resigning temper Objections Answered Suitable Petitions The Triumph and last work of FAITH I am now on my last bed this sickness for ought I do or can understand will be unto Death The warrant is issued out the commission sealed I am a dying man every moment that passeth away every clock that strikes every breath I draw every pulse that beats tells me death is near at hand and having given thanks to God for all his mercies having unseignedly repented of all my sin and begged pardon in the name and through â—he blood of Jesus and having now some hope and assurance of it what have I further to do What becomes me as a Christian as a righteous man that hath hope of great and glorious things beyond the grave but to submit to the divine good pleasure and saying The will of the Lord be done What language becomes Acts 21. 14. such an one but this O Lord who art the fountain of Life to all thy Creatures I am thine to live or die when and as thou wilt thou gavest me my Life and it is fit thou shouldst take it from me when thou wilt and as thou pleasest I submit to thy will obey thy summons and I would not live a day an hour a moment longer than God would have me God hath ordered the various circumstances of my Life in the best manner things have been much better with me than if I had been left to my own will and choice and I leave it to this wise and good God to order the circumstances of my Death To die now may be better for me than to live longer and if infinite wisdom judge it so I will readily comply and chearfully put off this Earthly Tabernacle Submissive language happy frame blessed temper thus it ought to be with all but alas how few attain to this nay how do the most even of Christians come far short of it how willing are they to live how loth to die how extremely desirous to stay here how loath to depart how passionately desirous to have a new lease granted when the old one is exspiring and almost out For one that in good earnest says I long I long to die I am willing even now to be dissolved how many with tears in their eyes cry not yet Lord not yet Oh spare me that I may recover Ps 39. 13. strength before I go hence and be no more Thus with shame and sorrow must I confess it hath been with me but in this my present sickness Lord help me to overcome my fears of Death wean me from this vain World mortify my fond affection to this present Life and oh raise and quicken in me holy earnest desires after a better Holy Paul had a desire to depart and be with Christ Oh that Phil. 1. 23. now it might be so with me let me be able to say Lord I accept the punishment of my sin I kiss the rod lie at thy foot submit
hope may a little comfort us in the Sun-shine of the Day but not when the dark Night of Death is coming If you would have your hope to be lively at Death examine carefully the grounds and reasons of it what footing there is for thy hope in the Scripture That hope and no other which hath been often brought to the Touch-Stone and tried is like to last when grim and frightful Death shall look us in the Face Ask your own Consciences a reason of that hope that is in you and take not up with the first answer but let this weighty and momentous question be oft repeated and as often answered and by this means you will be less apt to suspect it hereafter it will then be strong and lively when Nature is weak and feeble and afford you joy and ravishment when the Shadows of Death shall sit on your Eye-lids and your Immortal Spirits are taking Wing and flying to the other World An hope that is taken up no body knows how or why will certainly fail when there is most need of it Retire then Christian from the World and set some hours apart for this great Work and speak to thy self in some such manner as this Death O my Soul is coming and after that men go to Heaven or to Hell in which of these must I be and dwell for ever whither must I go when I die where will death land me Shall I go to God or Devils Be reeeived up into a Mansion of light above or be cast down to a Dungeon of Darkness below When I shall knock at the Gate of Heaven and say Lord Lord open to me am I like to be admitted or deny'd When thou O my Soul shalt leave this Body shalt thou under the conduct of Holy Angels go to the joyful assembly above or be drag'd by Infernal Spirits who lie watching for their Prey to the Congregations of Devils beneath Thou art going O my Soul thou art going to an ETERNAL World but is it to an happy or a miserable one to ETERNAL Joys or to ETERNAL Sorrows to Heaven where is an ETERNAL Day or to Hell where will be an ETERNAL Night It is well with me at present I am full and at ease I want nothing this World can afford The lines are fallen to me in a pleasant Psal 16. 6. place I have a goodly Heritage but how is it like to go with me hereafter Will it be well or ill with me for ever O my Soul ought I not shall I not be concern'd to know how it will fare with me for ever Hope of Heaven is very common who almost among the sons of men does not hope for it But how many are mistaken now and disappointed hereafter How many have lived in hope and dyed in hope and after all been for ever shut out Oh how many have been imposed upon by Satan cheated and deceived by their own hearts and am not I in danger of being so too Is not Satan as cunning and subtil now as he was then Is not my heart as base false deceitful and treacherous as theirs and am not I as likely to be blinded by self-love as they were How much hope is vain false and groundless serving only to delude men at present and shame them for ever How many have been buoyed up and flusht with hope on a Death-bed and in a little time Doleful moment swallowed up of total final and remediless despair What if this should be my case What if it should be so with me Do I hope for Heaven O my Soul of what kind is my hope What was the Spring What is the Nature What are the Effects What Stamp is it of Whose Superscription does it bear Is it any better is it any thing more than the hope of the Hypocrite which shall perish Job 8. 13. Will it endure a trial at the Bar of Conscience and at the Bar of God too Have I any one promise in all the book of God to countenance my hope and warrant my expectation This question is weighty and important and to mistake here may be very fatal and is infinitely dangerous Therefore tell me O my Soul what manner of hope is thine Thus and thus I find it is with them who have a good hope Is it so with me or no I am loth to be deceived afraid of being mistaken therefore O my Soul deal plainly and truly with me O my Conscience take the candle of the Lord and search me and faithfully tell me as thou wilt answer the neglect another day whether my hope be sound and good or no. If you would take this course what a confirmed hope might you have in Life and what a lively hope in Death An hope that would mitigate the terrors abate the horror asswage the pangs and sweeten the agonies of a dying hour With such a hope you may die not only safely but comfortably too go to your Graves not only in peace but with triumph While other mens Chambers are filled with disconsolate sighs and groans yours may ring with acclamations of victory and songs of praise While the awakned and despairing sinner is crying out must I die must I die O my weeping friends must I die your looks may be pleasant your countenances chearful and your hearts transported with joy You may be able to welcome Death and triumph over the Grave you may have such a glorious prospect of the happiness above that you may praise God with your last with your dying breath and Hallelujah may be your last word in this World as well as your first in the next Infer IX Hence we may learn how to carry it with reference to those Righteous and Holy Relations of ours who had such hope in their Death Are any of our holy relations dead and did they die in hope and is there no duty incumbent on us who are left behind Have we nothing to do but to provide for their funeral and follow them to the grave Alas as to them when we have done this we have done all we can for them When we have got them a Coffin purchased a Grave for and laid them in it we can do no more for them But at such a time is there nothing to be done by us for our selves Does not the Death of an Husband a Wife a Father a Mother call upon surviving Relations to improve it At such a time God calls Providence calls and Death calls upon us to mind our duty I shall not largely treat on this Head but only shew what is to be done by us with reference to them as they died in HOPE First We should take notice of and remark their happy and comfortable end We should observe register and remember Gods kindness and love to his gracious and merciful dealings with them in their last sickness and on a Death-bed It cannot but be useful to take notice of the miserable end of many wicked men Is Conscience awakned and
Providences And what relief might we have during the days of our mourning from these and the like considerations And Thanks be to God we upon whom Death has lately made a breach have this to comfort us Concerning this Relation of ours and Servant of God I will not say any thing the secrecy she always affected and my relation to her forbids me to blow the Trumpet at the mouth of her Grave She is Dead dead She is faln asleep in Jesus the Will of the Lord is done God grant that I in particular and the rest she has left behind who a while ago had a loving careful and tender Mother but now have none may SO Live and SO Die For blessed Rev. 14. 13. are the Dead which die in the Lord they rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them THE END DEATH-BED Reflections DEATH-BED Reflections Suitable to the preceding DISCOURSE And Proper for a RIGHTEOUS MAN in his Last Sickness I. This World and all in it is changeable Man in particular is so Death is certain and unavoidable What is to be done by a Righteous Man in his Sickness supposing it to be his last ALL things under the Sun are subject to change and what is so sooner or later will have an end THIS World and the fashion thereof 1 Cor. 7. 31. and all that is in it is passing away God is the same yesterday to day and for Heb 13. 7. ever but nothing else is or can be so Nothing here below is like a Mountain which cannot be moved by those mighty and sportive Waves which beat and dash against it but like a Feather which is driven hither and thither with the smallest Breath This World of ours tho' vain Mortals are foolishly fond of and excessively dote upon it as it had a BIRTH so it shall have a FUNERAL day the World's Morning and Noon is past and the Evening is at hand All these things shall be dissolv'd Nature groan 2 Pet. 3. 11. die and give up the Ghost Lord how quickly shall the Angel lift up his hand and swear by him that liveth for ever and ever that time shall be no more the old World was drowned with Water this v. 6. v. 7. shall be destroyed or resined by Fire tho' according to his promise we look for New Heavens v. 13. and a new Earth wherein dwelleth Righteousness In this mutable World nothing is more sickle and inconstant frail and uncertain vain and changeable than Man and what belongs to and makes up his Earthly happiness How uncertain are Prov. 23. 5 Riches may they not make themselves Wings and fly away and have they not often done so may not what we have been toiling labouring and sweating for many years be gone from us in a few hours Tho' Riches and Wealth Descend from Father to Son yet how oft doth Providence cut off the entail and he never enjoy what he was born to tho' a careful and provident Father may leave his Son a fair Estate and a good Inheritance he may live in want and die a Begger and not leave enough to buy a Cossin and purchase a Grave some unhappy accident or other may strip him naked before death does How uncertain is health and strength without which all other comforts are insipid if I am strong one day may I not be weak the next if I am well in the morning may I not be sick before evening if I am at ease to day may I not be rackt tortur'd and pain'd to morrow Lord when thou with rebukes correctest Psal 39. 11. man for iniquity thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth surely every man is vanity All these changes are but melancholy presages of and preparatory to our great and last when we shall be changed from living Dust into breathless Clay There is a time to die Since the first Age the first Man Adam Eccl. 3. 2. death has been reigning and yet death is not satisfied nor the Grave yet glutted with Carkasses This Earth oft changes its Inhabitants one Generation comes and Eccle. 1. 4. another goes our Ancestors moulder into Dust croud closer together and at length become Graves to bury us LIFE what is it A shadow which quickly vanishes a Vapour which suddenly disappears a Flower that fades and Grass which quickly withers and dies LIFE what is it a Candle that lies at the mercy of every stormy and blustering Wind a Lamp that burns a while but will go out for want of Oil to maintain the languishing and expiring flame If we search the Records of the Grave we shall find as many proofs and witnesses of our mortality as there are rotten Bones and Skulls How many Infants are only born live weep and die So that even out of the Mouths Psal 8. 2. of these Babes and Sucklings we may learn this sad and certain truth a time to die How many young Men has Death mowed down in the Morning how many of these has the cold hand of Death undrest before Evening and laid them to sleep in a Bed of Dust even at Noon-day and do not they cry in the Ears of the living there is a time to die Does not every Feaver that scorches us every fit of the Stone Gout and Cholick that puts us on the Rack every Ague that shakes the Walls and loosens the Pins of this Earthly Tabernacle every Dropsie that threatens to Drown us every Palsie that benum's every Lethargy that lulls us asleep repeat over this melancholy and awakening truth There is a time to die verily O my Soul every Man in his best estate is altogether vanity What is true concerning all and every one of Adam's Posterity Lord help me to apply to my self in particular to believe consider weigh and work upon my Heart this common truth I must die Let me not only have some general notional and speculative knowledge but a particular serious warm and practical one a knowledge that may be useful and serviceable to the best purposes a knowledge that may awe my Conscience warm my Soul and powerfully influence my Heart and Life It is impossible to be ignorant of this but Lord how cold unactive dull and ineffectual were all thoughts of this kind when I was well and strong oh that they may make more powerful and abiding impressions upon my Heart now I am sick and weak These very pains I now feel this disease this present affliction which makes me sigh and groan this sickness which I suppose will be my last tell me I must die and call upon me to prepare for such a time that now cannot be far off Lord help me in this my great and last work oh that sense and feeling might help my Faith this fire warm my Heart and what I now feel prepare me for my last pains pangs and conflicts which are like to be much sharper I have visited others some of them my near and
THE Righteous Man's HOPE AT DEATH Consider'd and Improv'd for the Comfort of Dying Christians and the Support of Surviving Relations To which is Added Death-bed Reflections c. Proper for a Righteous Man in his Last Sickness By Samuel Doolittle This was the first Sermon the Author Preacht after the Death of his Mother Mrs. Mary Doolittle who deceased Decemb. 16. 1692. and is since enlarged LONDON Printed for Thomas Cockerill at the Three Leggs in the Poultrey over against Stocks-Market 1693. TO His Loving Sisters Mrs Mary Sheafe Mrs Tabitha Hearne Mrs Susanna Pool Mrs Sarah Dawson Mrs Martha Doolittle Dear Sisters THAT Infinitely Wise God who does what he will and gives not account of any of his Matters Job 33. 13. has made a breach upon us That God who gave at first and for many years continued has now removed from us a dear and tender Mother This Arrow that killed one wounded all that Stroke that took away Life from her took away an excellent Wife from our honoured Father and a dear Mother from you and me At once fatal hour she was left a breathless Corps he a solitary Widdower and we Motherless Children What a sad and sudden change is made in Persons and Families when Death knocks at the door and enters in The Root now is dead and dry tho' the many Branches are yet spar'd For many years God continued us an entire Family The Destroying Angel that knockt at many doors visited many houses pass'd by ours When the Ax has been laid at the Root of many Families when many Branches have been lopt off and many Trees hewn and cut down we stood in the Vineyard untoucht But Death will come and a parting time will come Will come alas it is come The sweetness of her Temper the greatness of her Love the tenderness of her Affection the Grace of God in her whatever might endear a Mother rendered her company delightful and her presence a great part of our earthly happiness But God would have her home and would not that the Mansion designed for her should stand any longer empty That Body which had many Infirmities and which a-while-a-go with grief and tears we beheld pined and wasted consum'd and worn with languishing sickness is now at rest And the more noble Soul is now among the Spirits of Just men made perfect Thus hath Heb. 12. 23. her heavenly Father disposed of her and is it not time to think what is our work and duty is it to weep and mourn While she lived she was worthy to be loved and now she is dead she is worthy to be lamented and silent Tears will and may speak what words must not Hath Death remov'd and the Grave buried her out of our sight did she take leave of us with her cold and dying Lips and is she gone and must we see her no more Sad thought may we not weep and mourn we may we ought but yet there is something of greater importance that such Providences call for and should be the employment of surviving Relations The Red has been speaking and yet speaks Lord grant we may hear the Voice and understand the Language know the meaning and obey the Call of it Death hath been speaking the Grave with open mouth hath been speaking her last Sickness Decease and Funeral have been speaking O that I and you may have an Ear to hear what this Providence saith While she was with us she spent that little time and the less breath she had in speaking for God's Glory and the good of others Oh! never forget that Affectionate Exclamation Oh love the Lord all ye my Children And being dead she yet speaketh and with Heb. 11. 4. a louder Voice too She had no greater Joy than to see her Children walking in the Truth No doubt you are Children of many Prayers and Tears she travailed with you again and long'd to see Christ formed in you and I doubt not but it was a comfort to see such probable grounds to hope you were born again That you were not only born of her but born of Water and the Holy Spirit and I will venture to say she loved none so much for bearing John 3. 5. her Likeness as for having the Image of God Her highest ambition was to see you good holy and living in the Fear of God and when you were to change your condition and enter into a Married state her earnest desire was you might Marry in the Lord and be disposed of to such as might further not hinder you in the way 1 Cor. 7. 39. to Heaven it did delight her to my knowledge in her last Sickness that some of you have such Her early Instructions serious Counsels seasonable Reproofs holy Example fervent Prayers and many Tears spoke Love to your precious and Immortal Souls What but this was the Language of all Lord save me and mine too let me go to Heaven and let my dear Children follow after Be thou a God Friend and Father to me and them bind up my 1 Sam. 25. 29. Soul and the Souls of mine in the bundle of Life And now blessed be God all of this kind has not been in vain She lived to see the fruit of her labour and her Prayers in part answered and what is given I hope and I pray God it may be but the first-fruits earnest and pledge of what is yet behind Have you begun well and are you set out in your Journey to Heaven Go on and hold out Has the Spirit enlightened renewed and changed you Have you the Likeness of God and the Image of Christ Have you given up your selves in a serious and solemn manner to the Blessed Trinity Father Son and Holy Spirit Is sin your grief and burden the object of your sorrow and hatred do you oppose resist and fight against it persevere to the end and the Crown is yours Let nothing discourage you if the way be rugged and your Journey tedious if you are threatned with Storms and Tempests if you find it hard to watch and pray to wrestle and conflict to deny your selves live by Faith and perform many duties which are contrary to corrupt Nature don't faint tire and give out Heaven is at the end of your Journey and Heaven oh believe and think oft on it will make amends for all When once you are there with an over-flowing Joy will you think of these Afflictions Crosses and Disappointments for then you shall see know and be fully convinc'd that Infinite Wisdom made them all serviceable to your Eternal Welfare Tho' the flesh is pain'd and smarts yet a time will come when you shall praise your heavenly Father for seasonable Chastisements and the Discipline of his Rod. Tho' the flesh may be uneasie and the burden may pinch you tho' the Rod may make you groan and weep tho' Satan may tempt and your own hearts may be ready to question your Relation to and Covenant-Interest in
of such a Christian had I been as useful in the World and as serviceable in the Church as others then I could hope But poor doubting Christiaâ— why mayst thou not hope for all this Must all the Trees in God's Vineyard be equally fruitful Must all his Children be of the same size Must all that have true Grace have the same measure and degree of it thou canst not think so and why then may not such a one as thou art hope hast thou sincerity and uprightness then thou mayest for the Promise that is the 1 Pet. 1. 3. formal reason of hope is made to Grace as true not as strong All who are born of God are begotten again to a lively hope by the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead Tho' I must add 2. As to actual hope all that fall within this Character have it not either living or dying in the same degree The hope of some Christians is so firmly settled so deeply rooted it hath been so oft try'd and prov'd and found of the right stamp that come what will they will hold fast their confidence to the end It is well-grounded and like an house founded on a Rock Mat. 7. 25 it stands fast tho' the Winds blow the Floods come and the Rain descend Satan as cunning and subtil a Sophister as he is cannot argue them out of their hope of Heaven But on the contrary the hope of another Christian is so weak wavering and staggering that the least breath of a Temptation miserably shakes it and a few secret whispers of the malicious one make them call all into question Oh! how soon doth the poisonous breath of this hissing Serpent damp and kill all their hopes Oh! how many sincere Christians have a right to Heaven but do not know it how many are there who cannot get their doubts resolv'd their fears expell'd whose Sun sets in a Cloud and Luk. 10. 20. whose Evening is very dark their names are written in Heaven but they do not cannot rejoyce because they do not know it is so Death lands them safe on the Shore of a Blessed Eternity thro' God's Infinite Mercy they get well into Harbour but poor Souls how do they go off with weeping eyes sad thoughts and great fears of shipwrack and drowning It is not every Christian that in a dying hour can say God is my Father Christ my Saviour Heaven my home and in yonder yonder blessed World there is a Mansion for me How many after a long profession many tears prayers and holy duties both publick and private thro' the weakness of their knowledge unacquaintedness with themselves the temptations of Satan a melancholy temper and an unaccountable timerousness of spirit are not able to read their Evidences Others die with a full assurance of hope go to their Fathers house with joy and triumph and are able to give a reason of that hope that is in them both 1 Pet. 3. 15. to themselves and others How confidently doth the blessed Apostle Paul assert this hope We know if our earthly 2 Cor. 5. 1. house of this Tabernacle were dissolved we have a building of God an house not made with hands eternal in the Heavens How expressive of a strong unshaken and lively hope are those words of the same Apostle even when death was within sight I am now ready to be offered 2 Tim. 4. 6. v. 7. and the time of my departure is at hand I have sought a good fight I have finished my I have kept the Faith henceforth there is 〈…〉 â—ad up for â—â—e a Crown of Righteousness which the Lord the righteous Judge shall give 〈…〉 day What an unshaken confiâ—â—â—ce 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 is such an hope peculiar to an Apostle are such expressions only fit for the mouth of a Paul who had the priviledge to be caught up into Paradise No verily others have had the same lively hope Oh what strong assurance what clear evidences what blessed forecasts and what lively hopes is God pleased to give to some in a dying hour when their Souls stand upon the threshold of time and at the door of Eternity insomuch that they have been able to bid farewell to their dearest Relations submit to the stroke and kiss the cold hand of Death with a wonderful and triumphant Joy with a Joy too great for themselves to express and others to behold This hath made many a Christian say My work is done and blessed be God I have hope of the Reward The hour of my departure is at hand Oh my 〈◊〉 I must leave you and go unto my Father Death is welcome indeed it is welcome for I have hope of an Immortal and better 〈◊〉 know 〈◊〉 thanks be to God I can how long Lord how long come Lord Jesus come quickly I have hope of Heaven and Lord I long I long to be there What sweet what reviving Language is this how pleasing is the meditation of it is it not enough almost to put a man upon coursing Death that he might experience what it is to be in such a blessed frame Lord grant when ever I or my Reader come to die it might be thus with us This is my prayer for thee whoever thou art who readest these Lines the like prayer put up for me with a warm heart a fervent Soul and a lively Spirit and God for Jesus sake say Amen to both This caution premised I shall now consider what is the Object of this hope what good men may and do look for and expect at Death This shall be dispatcht in these following particulars First The Righteous at Death hath hope of a full and perfect freedom from all those evils they are liable to and must conflict withal in this present state In this valley of Tears and shadow of Death to how many and what great evils are we expos'd Man Job 14. â— that is born of a Woman is of few days and full of trouble Man is born oh Cap â—â— what a fine World is this to be fond of to trouble as the sparks flies upwards We come into the World with cries and tears we dwell in it in pain and sorrow We go out of it with sighs and groans How many tears do we shed how many groans do we utter how many complaints do we make upon the account of those evils which befall our selves or others for whose welfare we are and can't but be as much concern'd as for our own This World is a place of sorrow and tears and nothing can wipe away all tears from our Eyes till the hand of Death does The evils which befall us are so many and great so painful and afflictive the memory of what is past is so bitter the weight of what is present is so heavy the fear of what is future so vexing that we cannot be at rest till we close our Eyes and die and Death lays us fast asleep in the bosom of our Mother Earth Here
sloth and negligence by our omissions of duty or trifling in it by too great a conformity to the World and too easie a compliance with the men fashions and customs of it by listening to Temptations and running upon the occasions of sin by the immoderate use of things lawful or venturing upon what is unlawful really in its self or at least so to us because doubtful how oft by going contrary to the light of our Minds the checks of Conscience the Motions of the Holy Spirit the Directions of the Word and the rebukes of Providence do we even the best of us displease God grieve his Spirit break our peace disquiet our Minds and wound our own Consciences and how soon doth God by frowns and rebukes by withdrawing himself hiding his face denying a sense of his love and suspending in part or in whole the witnessing and comforting presence of his Spirit tell us he is displeas'd and make us sensibly know find and feel he is so are we not hereupon on a sudden left in darkness to be scared with our own melancholy guilty thoughts and the blacker suggestions of Satan the accuser of the Brethren Are we not bowed down greatly and our Souls not only Rev. 12 1â— disquieted but cast down within us Is not the day gloomy the cloud thick the night very dark and does not the poor deserted Soul with warm affection and passionate longing cry out Oh! that I could see him Don't we at such a time mourn and complain and cry out of the sadness of our Case to God and Man Are we not forc't in the bitterness of our Souls and anguish of our Spirits to say Oh! that it were with me as in months past when the Light of Gods Countenance was bright and shining and I convers'd with the Majesty of Heaven as a Man with his friend but it is not wo is me It is not so now oh that it were Lord when shall it be How oft do the Children of Light walk in darkness question their Adoption and Sonship their Covenant-Interest in and Relation unto God! How oft is there a Curtain drawn between Them and Heaven the Face of God Vail'd and the Light of his Countenance Eclips'd How oft does he withdraw and they cannot find wrap himself up in Clouds and Darkness and they cannot see him with what a pained heart grieved Soul with what an accent of sorrow does such an one cry out My God My God 〈◊〉 hast thou forsaken me I was 〈…〉 wonted to have Communion with God in Prayer to see him at a Sacrament I have had that enjoyment of God which 〈◊〉 would not have been without for all the 〈◊〉 Time was the Sabbath was my best day I long'd for the dawning of it and with joy welcom'd the Morning Light 〈◊〉 Ordinances where my delight 〈…〉 has often said how amiable are 〈…〉 〈…〉 O Lord of Hosts My Soul 〈…〉 yea even fainteth for the Courts of 〈…〉 Heart and my Flesh drieth out 〈…〉 God but now O my Soul what a change is this I pray but he giveth 〈…〉 answer I go to his Table with this Wish Let him kiss me with the 〈…〉 kisses of his Mouth but even there month after month I do not see the King's Face if he be my God my Father and Friend why is it thus with me from how many may we hear such bitter complaints as these But the Righteous at Death hath hope of deliverance from these inward spiritual and therefore most afflictive evils and such an â—â—e in the Evening of Life may say after a â—â—â—tle while and I shall no more offend grieve or displease my heavenly Father and he will always look upon me with a smiling Face a favourable Eye and a pleased Countenance I shall noâ— see him as I now do in a Glass 1 Co. 13. 1â— darâ—ly but Face to Face I shall dwell in his Presence stand before his Throne and enjoy his Favour which is better than Life I shall love God and feel that I love him God shall love me and make me know it and tho' I have often questioned both yet then I shall douâ—t of neither I have had many cloudy days disconsolate hours and dark nights many sad thoughts perplexing doubts and tormenting fears as to my spiritual and eternal state O ETERNITY ETERNITY how have the thoughts of it amaz d troubled me and sometimes made me even tremble but in this sickness I am better satisfied than ever now my fears are gone my doubts in great part resolv'd Now Evening is come and it is neither day nor night the light of Gods Countenance â—â—ch 14. 7. shines upon me Bless the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me bless his Psal 103. 1. Holy Name this is but the pledge of those more full and lasting Beams which shall scatter all my Clouds what I now feel is but a little a very little to what I shall Are the shadows of the Evening stretched out upon me Is night coming It is day the light of Gods Countenance makes it day and blessed be God this is but the dawning of that everlasting day which now is near hand and which will perfectly and for ever scatter all my fears Thus the Righteous hath hope in his death of an absolute freedom and final deliverance from these great and almost insuppâ—rtable evils we wretched mortals we who yet dwell in flesh are exposed to he can and he does hope that after a few hours he shall be afflicted pestered with sin buffeted by Satan deserted by God no more for ever tho' he cannot see his Lusts actually giving up the Ghost and dying yet he hopes he and his sins shall dye together tho' Satan may Dog him to the utmost borders of time yet he hopes he shall not follow him into Eternity that tho' some scruples may remain and his afflictions and pains will not be over 'till death hath done its work yet he hopes death will put an end to all Secondly The Righteous hath hope in his Death what hath he then hope of of a Convoy of blessed and holy Angels to secure his passage to the other World Man consists of a Body and Soul when he dies a separation is made the body is left the Soul is gone friends take care of the Body that it may have a decent Burial and truly some respect and honour is due to the Corps to the very dust of them who sleep in Jesus and even after death remain united to him as to this the dying Christian is not much concern'd for he knows his Lord will find it at his coming where-ever it be laid but the Soul being more noble his great care is for that and he hopes Angels will be ready to conduct in to the glorious and eternal Mansions above Holy and confirmed Angels who have as much good nature in them as they have strength and power are very serviceable to us men especially to
and clear evidences there are of a future state and tho' Satan may raise Batteries against our Faith yet let us defend it and pray to God it may never fail Let Faith often travel into yonder Eternal World send it as a Spy to take a view of the Heavenly Canaan and firmly believe the report it brings back for our Faith must be stedfast if ever we would have our hope unshaken Secondly Walk closely with God and take heed of all known willful and presumptuous Sins Having solemnly dedicated your selves to the glory and service of the Blessed Trinity Father Son and Spirit walk according to that dedication Watch against every thing that may give a wound to your sincerity or cause you to question it If you would have hope in your Death live according to your Character Righteous persons What is the fruit of your sloth and negligence the consequent of your hearkning to sin and complying with temptation but perplexing jealousies and tormenting suspicions blotted evidences and languishing hopes want of assurance and the Heavenly joy that flows from thence Am I in a state of Grace and do I belong to God Will God reward such poor and mean performances with Heaven Is not my hope vain and only the counterfeit of that which is in true Christians Shall I ever be happy or may I venture to hope I shall Are the disconsolate reasonings of the careless Christian upon the neglect of duty and commission of sin It is thus and have not some of you found it so Willful and presumptuous sins will raise black and dark clouds between you and Heaven These clouds may eclipse the light of Gods countenance at present and break and fall down in terrible storms and tempests in the evening What a dreadful change did holy David find in himself after his unhappy and scandalous fall How did it damp his joy blot his evidences and stab his hopes Poor man he is wrapt up in clouds and darkness and in great distress and agonies of Soul cries to God Lord restore to me the joy of thy Salvation Psal 51. 12. and uphold me with thy free Spirit On the contrary an holy obedient life a strict and circumspect walking with God will both warrant and confirm our hope Heaven is promised to the obedient or in the language of the the Text to the righteous And every act of sincere obedience will enable me to see my right to the promise and apply it to my self and a constant and persevering obedience will be accompanyed with a full assurance of hope unto the end Holiness â—eâ— 6. 11. of heart and life will furnish me with an answer to all my doubts and fears afford me comfort amidst all my sad jealousies and perplexities of Spirit strengthen me to look as far as Heaven and enable me to read my name written there Our Hope as well as our Faith without works will be dead But a strong and lively a certain and confirmed hope will be the issue of an holy and obedient life It will entitle us to the promise and warrant our hope of the reward Would you then have hope in your Death Mortifie sin subdue corruptions and crucifie the old man keep up the Government of Grace and the Authority of Christ in your Souls watch against snares and temptations keep your garments undefiled and your selves unspottep Remember every willful sin wounds your hope Thirdly If through the strength of corruption and violence of temptation you chance to miscarry and fall endeavour to rise again by a solemn serious and speedy repentance We thanks be to God are not under the Law which requires a sinless spotless obedience as the condition of Life But under the Gospel of the meek and merciful Jesus which requires and admits of repentance And whenever we have wounded our selves by sin it is our interest and wisdom to betake our selves to this remedy Though you cannot keep your selves innocent yet be sure you do not live impenitent If you do defile your garments in one instant be sure you wash them with a flood of penitential tears the next Keep Conscience wakeful and tender that it may sharply reprove you when you do amiss and when Conscience looks upon you as Christ did upon Peter do you also go out Mat. 26. 75. and weep bitterly Let your repentance be serious and solemn with blushing and shame confusion and sorrow with hearty sighs and groans with a broken heart and contrite Spirit with a bleeding soul and melting affections With all the signs of a Gospel-repentance and unfeigned remorse confess and bewail your late sin or sins before God Let your confession be free and not forc't particular and not general and the more to affect melt and humble you aggravate your sin with the several circumstances which did attend the commission of it And then beg of God to pardon you Plead Christian plead as for thy life that that sin might not eclipse the light of his countenance deprive thee of the comforting and witnessing presence of his Spirit that it might not prove either the damnation of thy soul or the destruction of thy hopes And do all this speedily while the wound is fresh and green before it rankle and putrifie While you delay your repentance your hearts will grow more hard your conscience more insensible and the neglected bruise which you got by your fall will grow worse and worse and if it be not timely lookt after may prove the death of all your hopes After the heat and hurry of the day does conscience in the cool of the evening cite thee to make thy appearance in its Court Summon thee by some sudden rebuke and surprizing terror to hold up thy guilty hands at its Tribunal As soon as ever this Domestick Judge reads the Bill of Indictment and brings the bloody charge against thee betake thy self to a serious repentance revoke retract and wipe out thy sins by an immediate act of repentance 'T is true 't is infinitely better to be righteous persons who need no repentance i. e. to be guilty of as few sinful Luk. 15. 7. miscarriages as we can But in case we do fall we have this remedy at hand and we must use it If I sin in the day I ought to go and be reconciled to God and my own Conscience before night If we take this course our hope which was withering languishing and dying like grass scorcht with the heat of the burning Sun being watered with these showers of penitential tears may revive sprout forth and flourish again and be fresh in the very evening This is the way to have great peace in Life and at Death Fourthly Daily exercise Faith in Christ especially as Crucified and Risen from the Dead Christ by his Blood-shed and Death by his passion and the Sacrifice of himself on the Cross has bore the Curse of the Law satisfied Divine Justice and quench'd those Flames of Wrath we had kindled he hath
dear Relations in their sickness I have seen them sick weak and full of pain I have seen their cold sweats their mortal tremblings and heard their last and dying groans and now it 's my turn to be sick and my time to die Die how hard and difficult a work is this of what great concern and everlasting importance Die who does or can know what it imports but those who are dead and gone I thought it hard to see my Friend my Father my Mother dye but shall I not find it more difficult now I am to dye my self the Messenger of Death has laid hold on me I believe this sickness will be my last I have no hope of recovery I have been sick and God hath recover'd me at the Mouth of the Grave and God hath brought me back I have gone from my Sick-bed and Chamber to my Shop and Trade but now I verily believe I shall do so no more my Sun is setting my Glass is run there are but a few remaining Sands the Grave with open mouth is waiting for me and in a little time I shall drop into it Most Holy Lord assist me now and leave me not through thy Grace I have lived help me Lord help me now to dye as a Christian in these hours and moments prepare me more and better for my last I have lived Rom. 14. 8. Rev. 14. 13. to oh that now I might die in the Lord and fall asleep in Jesus Preparation for Death Judgment and an Eternal World thanks be to God I have not neglected I did not in health adjourn this work to a time of sickness in order to this I have made many a Prayer shed many a Tear abstain'd from sin and crucified the Flesh I spent much of my time in trying my self searching my Heart and examining my State in repenting of and amending what I found amiss I was convinc'd a few death-bed Tears and languishing Prayers extorted by fears of Death and Hell would not make amends or be a sufficient compensation for the sins of a wicked Life and therefore through the Grace of God assisting me I made it the business of my Life to prepare to dye But something more is to be done that I may glorify God in my Death and be for ever happy after it what remains and is now to be done in this my last sickness instruct me Lord and help me to do it I now stand at the Mouth of the Grave upon the Threshold of Time and at the Door of Eternity Lord increase strengthen and quicken all those Graces which are proper to be acted in a time of sickness and on a death-bed Oh! that now I am a sick oh that now I am a dying man my Faith Love and Hope my Repentance Humiliation and Sorrow my desires and breathings after God my joy and delight in him may be more lively and active than ever oh that this last work of my Life may be done best my sick bed joys may be the greatest and my dying comforts most abundant through these painful hours and days this dark and narrow gloomy and frightful passage guide direct and lead me Lord The exercise of some graces the performance of some duties are peculiarly seasonable in a time of health and life and others are so in Sickness and at Death Thou hast helpt me to live and now Lord help me to die If I have made any preparation for such a time and hour as this If I have done any of the work of my Life and conversed in this World as an expectant of a better if I have any grace and at any time have been able to act it if my love has been 〈◊〉 my zeal flaming my heart softned â—umbled broken and melted and mine eyes a fountain of tears to bewail the slips and falls I have been guilty of if I have delighted in God through Christ as my reconciled Father Portion Happiness and End if I have exercised self-denyal in keeping under the flesh restraining its appetites and denying its cravings in contemning the World and slighting those adored vanities which bewitch charm and intangle so many if at any time my hope of Heaven hath been lively my longing panting and breathing after it strong and warm if I have mortified any sin resisted any temptation performed any duty with success so as to profit my self and please God if I have done any thing whereby the glory honour and interest of God and Christ has been advanced if I have imployed improved my talents and gained more if I have brought forth fruit done any work and service in my generation and place Lord it is owing to thee to the assistances of thy grace and the influences of thy Holy Spirit and I desire to acknowledge it is so saying with thy holy Apostle by the grace of God I am what I am Not I but the 1 Co. 15. 10. grace of God which was with me Oh for the same grace and mercy aid and help now I am a sick and dying man Oh that God would help me in these painful days and sorrowful hours to glorifie him yet more by doing the work which is proper to such a time that my present sickness and death may be for the glory of God the honour of Religion the good of my self and others Particularly help me Lord to be truly thankful for all thy mercies for those innumerable favours confer'd on such a worm such a wretch as I am bring them to my remembrance and enable me unseignedly to bless thee help me O my God to exercise a serious solemn and particular repentance for my past sins Let Oh! let this heart of mine be more humble broken and penitent than ever Finally help me Lord with patience and calmness submission and resignation to submit to thy holy will to be willing to die now with faith and hope trust and confidence to commit my Soul to the care of my dear and blessed Jesus And to these ends Lord bless the following meditations to me and let neither my Eye nor Tongue out-run or leave my Heart behind II. God's goodness is to be acknowledged though he afflicts us at present An enumeration of past mercies temporal and Spiritual And solemn thanksgiving for both God is good and doth good freely constantly and unweariedly and I am fully convinced of both My faith and reason prove the former my very sense and long experience the latter And though now I am sick and weak afflicted and pained though I feel the weight of his hand and the smarting of his rod neither Flesh nor Devil shall persuade me to think otherwise Though he afflicts me now yet hath he not done me good all my days and shall not I bless him for his mercies Mercies that are more than I can number greater than I can value and far beyond my deserts Shall the afflictions of a few days the pains of a few hours make me O my Soul forget slight or
what holy motions and breathings what enlivening quickening and comforting influences of the Holy Spirit have I had how oft hath God supported my drooping and reviv'd my dying Spirits answered my doubts expell'd my fears and treated me as a Friend nay more as a Son how hath God in mercy restrained the Tempter or wisely ordered the Temptation as to the nature strength and continuance of it what succour and support what strength and assistance have I experienc'd at such a time and how oft through Grace have I been more than a Conquerour when I sinn'd and fell God did not cast me off banish me his family and null the former Relation but pittied me a faln Christian when he heard my groans and saw my penitential Tears his Bowels yearned he took me up and embraced me in the Arms of his Mercy wiped my weeping Eyes comforted my sorrowful Heart and said Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven Mat. 9. 2. thee Oh! the joy oh the unspeakable joy of that hour methinks I yet sensibly feel what lively and warm impressions those words made upon my Heart upon my Heart that the moment before was ready to sink and dye within me when I was covered with Tears Blushing and Shame when I lay sighing sobbing and groaning at his Foot-stool crying out in the bitterness of my Soul I have sinned I have sinned before I rose from my knees before I said Amen my God came and said I have pardoned I have pardoned and now go in peace For the mercy and kindness of that hour Lord I bless thee now When through the weakness of my Grace the strength of my Corruptions and the power of Temptation I have wandred and gone astray when my zeal has abated my affections been cooled when I have been remiss negligent and careless back-sliding and on the declining hand he sent some affliction or other to call me back to awaken warm quicken and recover me When I have loved the World too much and my God too little when my affection to Earth has been too warm and to Heaven too cold when duties have been neglected or performed without life vigour and zeal when I begun to be too Worldly Earthly and Sensual he suffered me to meet with disappointments took away part of my Estate snatcht away a bosom Friend a dear Relation filled my Body with pain shook me over the Grave and threatned to cast me into it and all this with a merciful design to reform and make me better And Lord I thank thee any afflictions have been sanctified to such an end that the voice of the Rod has been accompanied with that of thy Spirit and both were effectual to reclaim me that at any time I came out of the fire more refin'd and purg'd and that those Waters of Affliction washt away my filthiness Lord I can do and will bless thee for seasonable corrections and the discipline of thy Rod. So good and kind so liberal and bountiful so merciful and gracious hath God been to me I have had so much for Body and Soul for time and eternity that I am fill'd with wonder and must cry out Oh the heighth and depth length and breadth of the love of God! my mercies have been more than my moments and every single mercy deserves and calls for a Psalm of Praise Lord when I am dead and in a silent Grave I cannot praise thee and therefore now I will blessed be God I lived till I was born again that ever I heard of that sweet that blessed that charming name JESUS and that I was enabled to believe on him for all the Mercies I have had in this World and for the hope and prospect of more and better in the next Blessed be God for Pardoning Mercy Sanctifying Grace and the Blood of Jesus to wash and cleanse me a sinner Blessed be God for the supports and comforts I have in this sickness that Satan is restrain'd and my own corruptions curb'd Blessed be God I am made meet for Heaven and that I know I am Lord what Grace is thine how free and sovereign What love is thine how constant and matchless how sweet how exceeding sweet is the thought that God hath loved doth love me and will do so unto the End I 'll bless thee Lord while I live thank thee with my last Breath and O my God through Christ thy Son and my Saviour accept my dying praises Bless the Lord O my Soul bless the Lord for me O my Friends bless the Lord O ye his Holy Angels my single voice is not sufficient may every Tongue all breath praise his holy name Amen HALLELUJAH III. After Death cometh Judgment what an awakening Thought this is and ought to be How this Thought may and should be improv'd by us in our last Sickness particularly to put us upon Confession the exercise of Repentance and earnest Prayer to God for Pardoning Mercy SICKNESS Summons Men to die Death Summons them to Judgment May this Sickness be my last and do I suppose it will hearken O my Soul and thou may'st hear Deaths Voice Come unto the Bar come give an account of thy Self to God in the NAME of the ETERNAL GOD whose Servant and Messenger I am I cite thee O Man to make thine appearance before the Tribunal of thy Maker Sovereign and Judge in the other World Awful Tidings what awakening and startling words are these must I O my Soul quickly Dye and after that be judg'd go from my Death-bed to the Bar of an Infinitely Holy Just and Jealous God must my Life be examined all my Actions scanned and my everlasting state in that moment be determined must a Righteous and Irreversible Doom pass upon me must I Dye in one moment and in the next be Judg'd and shall not I search my ways examine my state take a survey of my Heart and Life before I pass to that final and irreversible Judgment and hold up these guilty hands of mine at God's Tribunal shall I not endeavour to know what has been amiss that I may confess be humbled for repent of it and beg pardon Lord help me a sick Lord for Jesus sake help me a dying man in this serious solemn work help me to find out my sins to repent and implore thy mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ who is my only hope in Life at Death and after Death I was born a sinner and came into the World guilty and polluted behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother Psal 51. 5. conceive me As I am a Child of Apostate Adam dreadful thought I am unlike to the Holy and Blessed God and resemble the Devil the worst of Beings and had I no other sin this were enough to shame confound silence and condemn me But alas have I not found this original sin active in my Heart and fruitful in my Life with what force and violence has it hurried me to the commission of sin oh