in so many Sciences so full of vertues should die a learner for thinking that he knew but little he in his eightieth year of age began to learn the Arabick Tongue The reputation of so noble a Personage was increased by his famous Library the which was yet more famous for having a Master more learned then all his Books whilst the reverend Colledg of Vertuosi stood expecting which of these two so famous men should be named Apollo propounded Vincenzo Pinti called in the Court of Rome the Knight of the Lute for his excellent skill on that Instrument The Vertuosi were so astonished at the election of so base a person as they in all humility told his Majestie that they would willingly obey his commands but that they only desired to put his Majestie in mind that his most faithfull Colledg of Vertuosi were unwilling to admit of a Fidler into their Society To this Apollo answered That he foresaw that the Colledg would wonder at this his choice yet wished them willingly to decree Immortality to this man for he knew how to command what was necessary though it appeared strange to them the business was then carried by a secret scrutiny and Eternity was favourably decreed to the name of the Knight of the Lute who was forthwith brought into the Colledg of the Vertuosi by the Masters of the Pegasean Ceremony Then said Apollo to the Knight You Vincenzo are the first of your Profession that was ever admitted into this learned Colledg an honour reserved only for those who by their perpetual pains taking are come by the knowledge of Learning but the present necessity of your person hath forced us to take this resolution See therefore that you teach both Princes and privat men the necessary art of tuning Lutes wherein many are so ignorant as they break the strings by scruing them up too high and some humorous phantastical mad wits are more particularly recommended to you and which I am certain you will meet withall who being obstinately resolved to make the great Base strings act the part of Trebles they do so strangely stretch them as though they be very great and strong yet they break them and quite ruine the Lutes The Thirteenth ADVERTISEMENT John Francisco Peranda with much ado gets leave of Apollo to be admitted into Parnassus and despiseth Jerolomo Fracastoâ—…o's pâ—…ffer who would have restored him to his eyesight which he had lost THough it be many years since Signior Iohn Francisco Perando did much solicite his Majestie that he might be admitted into Parnassus and that he used great means to obtain his request yet Apollo would never give way thereunto for since he brought nothing into Parnassus but a volumn of his Letters his Majestie who is much nauceared with such Composâ—…urs said that he was resolved rather to throw the greatest part of the infinite volumns of Letters which were in the Library out of it then add one new one to it For nothing but writings of Invention and Nocturnal Labours being received into the Delfick Library the innumerable volumns of Letters that were there were but troublesom and took up a great deal of room And that all men being full of ambition and vain glory and the manner of Modern writing being reduced to the naked speaking what they think without any artifice and that there be but few men who want business and who cannot write the easie admittance of every one that writes Letters into Parnassus would occasion so great an inconvenience as every one though never so meanly learned would print great volumns of his own Letters only to make the miseries and base affairs of his own house known An error of the greater consequence for that immortality is not sold at so cheap a rate in Parnassus And that to these so many respects it was yet further added That it was discovered many had been so ambitiously presumptious as to publish false Letters written to such a King or such a great Prince whom they had never seen nor had ever had any business with them a falshood the more worthy consideration for that in all true Letters the vivacity of an unlooked for conceit sprang from the reallity of the fact was that which was admired whereas feigned Letters were alwaies full of affectation a thing so much abhorred by good wits The noble Caitaneans did notwithstanding so much favour this their servant as they overcame all these difficulties moreover they made it appear to his Majestie that of all Letters that had been yet printed Peranda's deserved the first place Wherefore Apollo by reason of this testimony and for that there were many of Peranda's Letters appertaining to History which would be very acceptable to all the Vertuosi he granted his request and gave him the first place amongst all the Italian Secretaries And though in honouring this Vertuoso Apollo according to his custom had respect only to his merits there were notwithstanding some lavish tongues which durst affirm that this was done in favour to the Illustrious Cardinal Henry Caietan a Prince who for the magnificency of his Works for his undaunted courage his laudable customs candid genius purity of soul and for all the most excellent gifts of Nature wherewith he was richly adorned is usually called his Majesties best beloved It must not be forgotten that when according to custom all the Vertuosi were permitted to pass their censures upon Perandas writings Claudeus Ptolomeus said that they deserved to be corrected because there were many words in them which were not Tuscan But the Censurer bad Ptolomeus hold his peace for that in learned writing the Ingenious Vertuosi noted the conceptions and that they were only malignant Pedants who censured words And Peranda having lost his eye-sight some years before his death Ierollomo Fracastoro proferred to restore him to his sight again which if he should effect Peranda promised him 500 crowns for his Cure The Phisitian being then to do his work Peranda was set down in a chaire and asked the Phisitian whether all things were in readiness wherewith to restore his eye-sight The Phisitian said there was nothing wanting for he had all his Instruments and Plasters These things which you have named said Peranda do but little import towards giving me that comfort which I desire by my eye sight Tell me how goes the world Even as it did said the Phisitian when you fell blind If it be so replies Peranda I will not lay out my money in recovery of that eye-sight which I willingly lost that I might not see the present world drowned in those inormious and hatefull loathsomnesses which do so much nauceate good mens eyes The Fourteenth ADVERTISEMENT The Italian Academies send Commissioners into Parnassus to obtain some remedy from Apollo for their corruptions and find the business impossible to be effected THe Commissioners sent to this Court from the Italian Academies had not audience till the twentieth of the present month at which time they told his
a lover and consequently I love amorous Poetry but this must be when love is handled with such terms of civility by modest Poets which I so much admire in my most modest Petrarch Nor can I sufficiently wonder how some modern Poets can be so shameless as to make use of Learning which was wholly brought into the world to sow vertue amongst men therewith to teach others the use of wicked lust and the practice of every most detestable vice Nor can I imagin how it can be possible that any man should be so sullied with the sluttery of uncleanness as that he dare publish those obscenities with his pen in clear day-light and in the sight of the whole world which are committed by libidinous men not without blushing and remorse of conscience in the dark secretly within sheets in close Chambers and that they do not only not acknowledg such slips to be actions which bring with them eternal infamy but that they are grown so blind as that they hope to win same unto themselves and purchase eternal glory by those things which deserve perpetual punishment Apollo had not made an end of speaking when the unfortunate Poet went out of the Hall and he and his guide getting upon the same horses whereon they came left Parnassus as fast as they came thither And to his greater scorn his book which no man durst touch with their hands as if it had been infectious was by the publick Aparators kickt out of the Court. In this interim a base Mountebank forced the Guard at the dore of the Pavillion and with a Box which he had under his arm and a Dog which he led in his hand entred the Court the dore-keepers ran immediately to keep so unworthy a fellow from coming before his Majesty and taking him by both the arms pluck him out of the Pavillion The Mountebank being very strong strugled hard to keep in and cryed out aloud that he would be heard Apollo was sorry to see the poor wretch so handled and commanded the Souldiers to forbear further troubling him the Mountebank then spread his Cloke upon the ground and opening his Box drew forth a great sheet of Vellum at which a large seal was hanged and shewing it to his Majesty to the Muses and to the Colledg of Litterati said Sir To prove that the Sope which I for the general good deliver out to every one to take away whatsoever stain of shame or dishonour unless it be the disgrace of having married a whore out of the vestments of peoples reputation is miraculous and the only thing in the world let all men behold this my priviledg granted me by the invincible and alwaies glorious Prince Charls the first King of France who thought this my secret worthy so singular a favour only because I took avvay that great spot of Oyle from off his Royal Robe with this my sope not any waies injuring the stuff which Ariadeno Barbarosso threw upon it Wherefore I earnestly beseech your Majesty and all those who are in this consecrated place that my commodity may be fully tryed and if every one find it not to be the rare thing which I have said I desire it may immediately be burnt Apollo seemed to be much taken with the vivacity of this bold mans wit whom he asked what his dog was good for The Charletan answered That the modern world being become sensual he gathered company together to hear him with this his dog which could shew tricks If it be so said Apollo this your occupation seems to me to be much like to the catching of birds for you with your prating play the fowlers part who whistle your sope is the bait which is put upon the bird-lime your dog the owle those that hear you and believe you the guls who leaving some feathers of small money in the bird-lime of your Merchandize makes your Quarry good But since you are unfortunately falne upon this place where such as you are are but little credited and your commodities not like to go off for that my Litterati have no stains at all in their aparrel do me and my Vertuosi the pleasure to see your dog play The Charletan obeyed and made his dog which was singularly well taught shew many tricks which it did so handsomly and with such understanding obeying whatsoever his Master bad him do as he seemed to have human sense The graver sort of the Senat wondred very much to see Apollo waste the time appointed for businesses of such weight in looking upon such trivial pleasure especially since his Majesty seemed to be much delighted with the dogs tricks which continued a good while But their wonder turned soon into admiration when Apollo whose property it is to extract excellent documents and useful precepts even out of the vilest things that he looks upon cryed out Oh the glory of Knowledg Oh the great felicity of my Illustrious Vertues the only rich patrimony of mankind O my dearly beloved Litterati rejoice with me cheer up your hearts since now you see with your eyes the great power of Knowledg the worth of Science when a little knowledg which a man hath been able to teach a dog is sufficient not only to make both him and his Master live plentifully but to cause him to enjoy the greatest content which can befall a large soul of seeing the world and getting good gain thereby and yet there be some who value them not who despise them and persecute them as being prejuditial The Mountebank being liberally rewarded and dismist by order from Apollo a Vertuoso appeared before his Majesty who whilst he lived in the world by reason of his pleasant pregnant wit and his graceful comportment having been the delight of the Roman Court was by all men known to be that Baldo Cataneo who was so admired by the Vertuosi of that Court for his pleasant witty conceits and his gravity in more serious affairs both in Prose and in Verse as he deserved the munificent Allessandro Peretti Cardinal Montalto for his liberal Mecenas This Poet presented Apollo with the first Canto's of his Argonautica a Poem composed by him in eight lined Stanzas and bitterly bewailing his misfortune in dying in the flowre of his age said his death was for no other cause displeasing to him save only that he must now lay before his Majesties feet that immature fruit of his brain which if he had lived longer he hoped would by increase of years have been so perfected as it would have been more then meanly pleasing to the Litterati Which calamity was the reason why for his small desert and by reason of the misfortune of this Poem he now desired that Immortality unto his name of meer grace and favour which he had hoped to have been able to have challenged of right and justice Apollo with great humanity but in words and gesture answered Cataneo That both himself and all the Vertuosi of Parnassus were very sensible of his
so famous Schools of Physick in Padua it happened that some Plebeians in Venice being gon according to their custom to the Sea-side to sollace themselves with some young Courtisans which they had carried along with them they were so beaten by some Noble Venetians as the former betaking themselves unto their swords slew one of the others and handled the rest but ill For which fault being sent for by the Judges those Plebeians although they saw all the Judges in the power of the offended Nobility yet they hoped so much in the uprightness of the Senat and in the exact Justice of the Tribunals for offences as they stuck not to make their appearance and go to Prison Nor were they deceived in their opinion for the Judges finding by the defence which they made how they had been molested by those Noble Venetians they were as innocent set at liberty to the eternal glory of the uncorrupt Venetian Justice And that it was a prodigie not formerly seen and which could not be believed but by those that practised it that the Noble man though of powerfull Parentage famous for his riches and of great Authority through the honours he had received in the Commonwealth the Citizen proved the harder adversary in pleading than the Noble man And that if the Politick Precept written by great men was true That Aristocrasies never died when the young Nobility used Modesty and the Tribunals maintained equal Justice he could not see when the most happy Venetian Liberty which was so severe in punishing the licentiousness of her Nobles and so exquisitly just in her Tribunals should ever have an end Learned Ermolao Barbaro would be the last that spake who said That Tyranny being then introduced in free Countries when the most important secrets of Commonwealths was communicated but to a few Senators the excellent Venetian Liberty to shun splitting upon so dangerous a Rock communicated secrets and had the most important business of her State discust in the Supreme Magistracy of the Pregadi Wherein were above 250 Senators and that it seemed very strange to him that the Commonwealth of Venice could find that secrecy in so great a number of Senators which Princes did often in vain endeavor with such diligence and through such liberal gifts in one sole Secretary and a couple of Councellers Then did the most excellent Lady of the Venetian Liberty rest her hand upon Ermolao Barbaro's shoulder and said unto him You have found out that pretious Jewel which I so much glory in and for which I deserve to be envied by all the world for secrecy is no less necessary for the well governing of States then good councel The Sixth ADVERTISEMENT A Learned Laconick is severely punished by the Laconick Senat for not having used requisite brevity in his discourse THat unluckie Laconick Letterato who exprest that in three words which was judged by the Laconick Senat might have been said in two and which was reputed a more then Capital fault by those Laconicks who are more penurious of words then courteous men are of pence after eight moneths long and teadious imprisonment received his sentence five daies agoe which was That he should read only once over the Warr of Pisa written by Guicchardino the Laconick read over the first leaf with much agony but so horribly teadious did that rabble of discourse appear to him as the unfortunate wretch threw himself down before his Judges feet who had sentenced him and earnestly entreated them that they would condemn him to row in the Gallies during life that they would immure him between two Walls and that for mercies sake they would flea him alive for to read those endless discourses those so teadious Councels those empty Harangues made at the taking in of a Pigeon-house was a punishment which surpast all the bitter pains of child-birth and all the most cruel deaths that ever the pittiless Perillus could think upon at the instance of the most cruel Tyrants The Seventh ADVERTISEMENT The Censors of Learning do severely punish one of their Associates who in his more mature years seemed to be pleased with Italian Poetry A Vertuoso was taken yesterday by the Marshals belonging to the Court of the Censors of Learning who was found with his spectacles on his nose reading some Italian Poetry and this morning early by order from Apollo he received three sound lashes with a cord first and was afterward told that being as he was of the age of 55 years he should learn to apply himself to graver studies and leave the reading of those Madrigals Songs and Sonnets to be idlely spent by those spruce Youngsters in whom those things were tolerated which were severely punished in old men The Eighth ADVERTISEMENT Apuleius his Golden Ass and Plantus his Assinaria complain to Apollo of their Masters great severity and receive no very pleasing answer THe eight of this present moneth Apuleius his glorious Golden Asse and the famous Assinaria of Plantus appear'd before Apollos Majesty to whom in the name of all sorts of Pack-Horses they joyntly said That if those creatures deserved to be better treated which were of little charge and much use they had more reason to complain of their Masters than any other beasts for though by their perpetual labour they bore the greatest weight in their Masters house both by day and night and for their food were contented with a little course grass and water and made it a Holy day when they got but a little bran yet they were so indiscreetly dealt withall through their Masters ingratitude and cruelty as that miserable beasts that they were they became the spectacle of all brutish usage and that since they could not mollifie their Masters cruelty by humble prostrating of their service they did in all submission beseech his Majestie to the end that some bounds though not utter period might be put to their Ass like sufferings he would vouchsafe to command their Masters to use more gratitude atleast more humanity to so meritorious beasts To which Apollo answered That the severity used by Masters to their Pack-Horses for which they so much complained arose not from their Masters cruelty since there was none that hated the profit of his own Patrimony but that it was occasioned through the great sloathfulness and monstrous dulness of the Pack-Horses For which their Masters were forced by store of bastenadoes to egg them on to do that which they had not spirit enough to do by any vivacity of their own wit And that they who would judge aright of the cruelties used to any whosoever must not regard so much his genius who useth severity as the parties condition who complains of ill usage The Ninth ADVERTISEMENT A Sommary of what the Learned in Sciences have sowed and reaped THe Harvest is already over and the whole encrease of this year is brought by the Possessers thereof into their Grainaries which though it hath been various according to the nature of the grounds
Litterati were grown to such petulancy in many important particulars as blinded by proud presumption they had not feared to intermeddle in the very greatest Concerns of Princes and even to give Laws to Reason of State not knowing poor people that they are that the insight into Politick affairs is so far from the common judgement of any wit how good soever as none ought to discourse thereof but men who have spent their whole time in the Government of Kingdoms and in the affairs of great Princes though they may peradventure want that Philosophy Rhetorick and other Sciences registred by the Litterati in their Scribled Papers For Policy not having so much Theory as that a Grammar may be thereout composed which may teach men the art how to govern States well consisted wholly in practise of the which none but such as had learnt it from great Princes Secretaries and in State-Councils ought to discourse lest they become ridiculous for writing things which deserves the rod. By these words Duke Federico found that the Princes had just reason to be incensed wherefore he easily prevailed with Aristotle to revoke his former definition of a Tyrant and to make a new one which might satisfie those so highly offended Princes Then Aristotle suddenly recanted and said That Tyrants were a certain sort of men in the old time the Race whereof was wholly lost now The Princes having received such satisfaction as they desired presently quitted their quarters And being gone towards their own States Aristotle being half dead with fear returned to Parnassus assuring all the Vertuosi that his Philosophical Precepts failed him very much against the fear of death and bad the Litterati attend their studies and let alone the reason of State which it was impossible to treat of without running evident danger of being esteemed Criminal by Princes The LXXVII ADVERTISEMENT By order from Apollo a general Reformation of the world is published by the seven wise men of Greece and by the other Litterati THe Emperor Iustinian that great Compiler of Statutes and Books of Civil Law some few daies since shewed a new Law to Apollo to have his Majesties approbation of it wherein men were strictly forbidden killing themselves Apollo was so astonished at this Law as fetching a deep sigh he said Is the good Government of mankind Iustinian fallen then into so great disorder as men that they may live no longer do voluntarily kill themselves And whereas I have hitherto fed an infinite number of Philosophers only that by their words and writings they may make men less apprehensive of death are things now reduced to such calamity as even they will now live no longer who could not formerly frame themselves to be content to die And am I amongst all the disorders of my Litterati all this while supinely asleep To this Iustinian answered That the Law was necessary and that many cases of violent deaths having hapned by many mens having desperately made themselves away worse was to be feared if some opportune remedy were not soon found out against so great a disorder Apollo then began diligently to inform himself how men did live in the world and found that the world was so impaired as many valued not their lives nor Estates so they might be out of it These disorders necessitated his Majesty to provide against them with all possible speed so as he absolutely resolved to create a Congregation of all the most famous men that were in his Dominions for wisdom and good life But in the entrance intoso weighty a business he met with difficulties impossible to be overcome for when he came to chuse the members of this Congregation amongst so many moral Philosophers and the almost infinite number of Vertuosi he could not find so much as one who was indowed with half those parts which were requisite to be in him who ought to reform his companion His Majesty knowing very well that men are better reformed by the exemplary life of their reformers then by any the best rules that can be given In this great penury of fitting personages Apollo gave the charge of the Universal Reformation to the seven wise men of Greece who are of great repute in Parnassus as those who are conceived by all men to have found out the receit of washing Blackmoors white Which antiquity though still in vain hath so much laboured after The Grecians were much rejoyc'd at this news for the honor which Apollo had done their Nation but the Latins were much grieved at it thinking themselves thereby much injured Wherefore Apollo very well knowing how much the ill satisfaction of those that are to be reformed in their reformers hinders the fruit which is to be hoped by reformation and his Majesty being naturally given to appease his Subjects imbittered minds more by giving them satisfaction then by that Legislative power which men are not well pleased withall because they are bound to obey it That he might satisfie the Romans who were much distasted to the seven wise men of Greece he added Marcus Cato and Anneus Seneca And in favour to the modern Italian Philosophers he made Iacopo Mazzoni da Casena Secretary of the Congregation and honored him with a vote in their Consultations The 14 day of the last month the seven wise men with the aforesaid addition accompanied by a Train of the choicest Vertuosi of this State went to the Delfick Palace the place appropriated for the reformation And the Litterati were very well pleased to see the great number of Pedants who with their little baskets in their hands went gathering up the Sentences and Apothegmes which fell from those wise men as they went along The next day after the solemn entrance the Assembly being met to give a beginning to the business t is said Talete Milesio the first wise man of Greece spake thus The business most wise Philosophers about which were are all met in this place is as you all know the greatest that can be treated on by human understanding And though there be nothing harder then to set bones that have been long broken wounds that are fistuled and incurable cancars yet difficulties which are able to affright others ought not to make us despair of their cure for the impossibility will increase our glory and will keep us in the esteem we are in and 〈◊〉 do assure you that I have already found out the true Antidote against the poyson of all these present corruptions I am sure we do all believe that nothing hath more corrupted the present age then hidden hatreds feigned love impiety the perfideousness of double-dealing men cloaked under the specious mantle of simplicity love to religion and of charity apply your selves to these evils Gentlemen by making use of fire razor and lay corrosive Plasters to these wounds which I discover unto you and all mankind which by reason of their vices which leads them the high-way to death may be said to be given over by
very first day that he sees an illaffected eye water to his clouts and cauters and is forced to leave his patient vvith a bleer eye vvhen if the eye vvere quite blind it vvere too late to seek for remedy so reformers should oppose abuses vvith severe remedies the very first hour that they commence For when vice and corruption hath got deep rooting it is wiselier done to tolerate the evil then to go about to remedy it out of time with danger to occasion worse inconveniences it being more dangerous to cut of an old Wen then it is misbecoming to let it stand Moreover we are here to call to mind the disorders of private men and to use modesty in so doing but to be silent in what concerns Princes and to bury their disorders which a wise man must either touch very tenderly or else say nothing of them for they having no Superiors in this world it belongs onely to God to reform them he having given them the prerogative to command us the glory to obey And certainly not without much reason for subjects ought to correct their Rulers defects onely by their own good and godly living For the hearts of Princes being in the hands of God when people deserve ill from his divine Majestie he raiseth up Pharoahs against them and on the contrary makes Princes tender hearted when people by their fidelity and obedience deserves Gods assistance What Solon had said was much commended by all the hearers and then Cato began thus Your opinions most wise Grecians are much to be admired and by them you have infinitely verified the Tenet which all the Litterati have of you for the vices corruptions and those ulcerated wounds which the present age doth suffer under could not be better nor more lively discovered and pointed out Nor are your opinions which are full of infinite wisdom and humane knowledge gain-said here for that they were not excellently good but for that the malady is so habituated in the veins and is even so grounded in the bones as that humane complexion is become so weak as vital virtue gives place to the mightiness of vice whereby we are made to know clearly that the patient we have in hand is one sick of a consumption who spits putrifaction and whose hair fals from his head The Physician hath a very hard part to play Gentlemen when the Patients maladies are many and the one so far differing from the other as cooling medicines and such as are good for a hot liver are nought for the stomach and weaken it too much And truly this is just our case for the maladies which molest our present age and wherewithal all other times have been affected do for number equal the stars of heaven or the sea-sands and are more various and further differing one from another then are the flowers of the field I therefore think this cure desperate and that the patient is totally incapable of humane help And my opinion is That we must have recourse to prayers and to other Divine helps which in like cases are usually implored from God And this is the true North-Star which in the greatest difficulties leads men into the haven of perfection for Pauci prudentia honesta ab deterioribus utilia ab noxiis discernunt plures aliorum eventis docentur Tacit. lib. 4. Annal. And if we will approve as we ought to do of this consideration we shall find that when the world was formerly fallen into the like difficulties it was no thought of man but Gods care that did help it who by sending universal deluges of water razed mankind full of abominable and incorrigible vice from off the world And Gentlemen when a man sees the walls of his house all gaping and runious and the foundations so weakened as in all appearance it is ready to fall certainly it is more wisely done to pull down the house and build it anew then to spend his money and waste his time in piecing and in patching it Therefore since mans life is so foully depraved with vice as it is past all humane power to restore it to its former health I do with all my heart beseech the Divine Majestie and counsel you to do the like that he will again open the Cataracts of heaven and send new deluges of water upon the earth and so by pouring forth his wrath upon mankind mend the incurable wounds thereof by the salve of death but withal that a new Ark may be made wherein all boys of not above twelve years of age may be saved and that all the female sex of what soever age be so wholly consumed as nothing but the unhappy memory thereof may remain And I beseech the same Divine Majestie that as he hath granted the singular benefit to Bees Fishes Beetles and other annimals to procreate without the feminine sex that he will think men worthy the like favour For Gentlemen I have learnt for certain that as long as there shall be any women in the world men will be wicked It is not to be believed how much Cato's discourse displeased the whole Assembly who did all of them so abhor the harsh conceit of a deluge as casting themselves upon the ground with their hands held up to heaven they humbly beseeched Almighty God that he would preserve the excellent femal sex that he would keep mankind from any more Deluges and that he should send them upon the earth onely to extirpate those discomposed and wilde wits those untnuable and blood thirsty souls those Hetorotrical and phantastick brains who being of a depraved judgement and out of an overweening opinion which they have of themselves are in truth nothing but mad men whose ambition was boundless and pride without end and that when mankind should through their misdemerits become unvvorthy of any mercy from his divine Majestie he would be pleased to punish them with the scourges of Plague Svvord and Famine and that he vvould make use of his severest and of all others most cruel rod as it is recorded by Seneca of inriching mean men but that he should keep from being so cruel and causing such horrid calamity as to deliver mankind unto the good vvill and pleasuree of those insolent vvicked Rulers vvho being composed of nothing else but blind zeal and diabolical folly vvould pull the vvorld in pieces if they could compass and put in practice the beastial and odde Caprichios vvhich they hourly hatch in their heads Cato's opinion had this unlucky end when Seneca thus began Rough dealings is not so greatly requisite in point of Reformation as it seems by many of your discourses Gentlemen to be especially when disorders are grown to so great a height The chief thing to be considered is to deal gently with them They must be toucht with a light hand like wounds which are subject to convulsions It redounds much to the Physians shame when the Patient dying with the potion in his body every one knows the medicine hath
and their sheerers would learn to handle their sheers without cutting their skins Wherefore the whole generation of sheep that they might no longer undergo such calamities and oppressions did earnestly beglong horns and sharp teeth wherewith to procure respect To this request Apollo answered with a chearful countenance That the sheep had in this their request shewed their simplicity since they knew not that of all the four footed beasts that were upon the earth there were not any that were more favoured by God nor which received greater priviledges from him then they For whereas the rest were forced to seek their meat with cark and care and a thousand dangers many of them spending the night season which was destined for sleep and rest in eating for that it was not safe for them to be seen by day pasture grounds were reserved and bought at dear rates onely for sheep by men who had the command of all beasts and were Lords of the earth that in the night season they were with great care and diligence defended from their enemies in their folds and whereas other beasts were persecuted even by beasts themselves and by men and that to procure their death many did nothing but make nets feed dogs and lay snares sheep out of a particular grace injoyed the noble prerogative to have all these things done by men to secure them from their enemies And that the Creator of the world having â—…hewed exceeding great love towards sheep instead of ravenous teeth and swift legs had granted them the powerful weapons of wool cheese and of their riches wherewith they did so aquire mans love as that men did perpetually persecute Wolves Lyons Tygers and all their other cruel enemies with all sort of weapons meerly for the affection which they bore to sheep And that sheep being reputed the Worlds delight and wealth for the singular advantages which they afforded mankind they hapned to be the most numerous of any sort of beasts so as sheep being fed and defended by their Shepherds vigilancy and charity they were foolish to desire ravenous teeth and sharp horns And finally Apollo said That they ought to revenge themselves for the severity which some shepherds used towards them in milking and sheering them onely by their obedience and humility by yielding them great store of wool and much cheese and by studying how to be fruitful it being sheeps greatest felicity that those Shepherds that dealt ill with their flocks were cheifly cruel to themselves for it was a certain truth that wounds shamefully given to sheep did usually kill the Shepherd Wherefore he wished them to keep more from being desirous to bite their shepherds then they would do from the Wolves teeth For such sheep could not esteem themselves so happy who by their humility and obedience did secure their Shepherds from all harm as those were unhappy who delighted to put them in fear The LXXXIX ADVERTISEMENT Nicholas Machiavel being banished Parnassus upon pain of death was found hidden in a friends Library for which his former sentence of being burnt was excuted THough Nicholas Machiavel was banished Parnassus and the Territories thereof many years ago upon severe punishment as well to whosoever durst give receptacle to so pernicious a man in his Library yet was he found the last week secretly hidden in a friends study where he was made Prisoner He was presently sentenced by the Judges of Assize and was this day to have been burnt when he signified unto his Majestie his desire that he might first be permitted to say somewhat in his defence before the Tribunal-seat which had condemned him Apollo using his wonted clemency bad him send his Advocates and he should have fair hearing Machiavel replyed he desired to be heard himself and that Florentines needed no advocates to speek for them and his demand was granted Machiavel was then brought to the Bar where he spoke thus in his own defence Lo here you Soveraign of Learning That Nicholas Machiavel who hath been condemned for a Seducer and Corrupter of mankind and for a dispercer of scandalous politick Precepts I intend not to defend my writings I publikely accuse them and condemn them as wicked and execrable documents for the government of a State So as if that which I have printed be a doctrine invented by me or be any new Precepts I desire that the sentence given against me by the Judges be put in execution But if my writings contain nothing but such Politick precepts such rules of State as I have taken out of the actions of Princes which if your Majestie will give me leave I am ready to name whose lives are nothing but doing and saying of evil things what reason is there that they who have invented the mad desperate policies written by me should be held for holy and that I who am onely the publisher of them should be esteemed a Knave and an Atheist For I see not why an original should be held holy and the Copy thereof beburnt as execrable and why I should be so much persecuted when the reading of History which is not onely permitted but commended by all men hath the particular vertue of turning as many as do read them with a politick eye into so many Machiavels for people are not so simple as many believe them to be but that those who by the greatness of their wits have been able to find out even the most hidden secrets of Nature may not also have the judgement to discover the true ends of all Princes actions though they be cunningly hidden And if Princes that they may do what they will with their subjects will have them to be block-heads and dunces they must do as the Turks and Muschovites do inhibit Learning which is that which makes blinde understandings quick sighted otherwise they will never compass their ends for Hypocrisie which is now so familiarly used in the world hath onely a star-like vertue to incline not to force men to believe that which likes them best that use it These speeches wrought much upon the Judges and they were ready to revoke the sentence when the Atorney General told them That Machiavel was deservedly condemned for the abominable and execrable precepts which were contained in his writings and that he ought again to be severely punished for that he was found by night amongst a flock of sheep whom he taught to put false teeth dogs teeth in their mouthes thereby indangering the utter ruine of all shepherds a people so necessary as it was an indescent and angersom thing to think that they must by means of this wicked Machiavel be forced to put on breast-plates and gauntlets when they would milk or sheer their sheep and to what price would wool and cheese grow hereafter if shepherds were to be more aware of their sheep then of wolves and if they could no longer keep their flocks in obedience with thâ—… whistle and their wand but must make use of a Regiment of murrions and
novelty and the rather for that though Euclide was better beloved and more made of by the greatest Princes of this State then any other Litterato yet this so great excess appaared to be made by the command of some powerful personages for Euclide was first seized on by two of these Swash-backlers and held fast whilst other two beat him who were seen to be backed by many armed men There are many occasions alledged for this so great resentment but the most generally received opinion is that some potent subjects of this State are very much ill satisfied with Euclid for the Mathematical Instrument which he some few days before published in the Schools wherein was conclusively shewed that all the lines of the thoughts and actions both of Princes and private men meet in this centre how to take money handsomely from another mans purse and put it into ones own The IV. ADVERTISEMENT In a Duel which hapned between an Italian Poet and a Vertuoso of Spain the Spaniard being wounded to death did so gallant an action before he expired as Apollo gave order that he should be solomnly buried at the publike charge A Great dispute arose some few days ago between a Spanish Vertuoso and an Italian Poet touching a certain Lady who challenging each other met in Bellona's Forum and the business being to be disputed without defensive weapons proved vrey cruel For being armed onely with two short and sharp Terzetti at the first encounter they grapled and the Spaniard having received two mortal wounds fell to the ground and said these words to a friend of his who run in to help him Hermano azeme plazer d'enterarme sin che ninguna mi desnude Do me the courtesie friend to bury me before I be stript naked Which being said his wounds bled so much as he dyed The de sire which this Spaniard made to his friend that he might not be stript being noised abroad in Parnassus made all men as it commonly falls out in things forbidden the more desirous to see him naked especially since it was made by one of that wise Nation which doth not onely never speak by chance but never suffers a word to escape their mouthes which carries not mistery and great sense with it And Apollo's self had the curiosity to know why that Litterato at the very point of death did so earnestly desire not to be stript naked So as commanding him to be stript it was found that he who went so sprucely drest and had a ruff about his neck so curiously wrought as it was more worth then all his other clothes had never a shirt on which caused much laughter throughout all Parnassus only Apollo was much astonished at this novelty and did mightily exaggerate the gallantry of this Litterato who in the very agony of death was so sensible of his honor as he closed his eyes with zeal to his reputation For which excessive worth which vvas a clear evidence of an extraordinary great mind he commanded that he should be solemnly buried at the publike charge con la pompa censoria the which was done with so great a concourse of the Litterati of all Nations as more were never seen to be at any Roman triumph Afterwards Flavius Quintillian in a Funeral Oration which he made in praise of this Vertuoso did much exaggerate the happiness of the powerful Monarchy of Spain whose greatness lay not as he said in the gold and silver shops of Peru of Nova Spagna Rio della plata and in the Castiglia dell'oro nor yet in the numberless number of Kingdoms which she was master of but onely in the honorable condition of her Nation Since it being clearly seen that this Spanish Vertuoso in that his great calamity endeavoured first not to suffer in his reputation before he took order to have his wounds cured it was an evident proof that it was peculiar to the honourable Spanish Nation to prefer honor before life and that the Spaniards were more careful not to commit any unworthy act then they were of life And Quintillian concluded his Oration with a cruel invective against Philosophers who will not admit that two contraries can be found in one and the same subject when great appearance and infinite substance vain glory and sollidness were visibly seen to reign even in their greatest extreams amongst Spaniards The V. ADVERTISEMENT Apollo having used great diligence to come by any of the Idols of Princes proceeds with severity against one who fell into the Iudges Power APOLLO much to his displeasure perceiving the great disorders occasioned not onely in great Empires but also in little States by the blindness of those Princes who assubject themselves to some one of their servants Since neither his Majesties exhortations nor the sad calamities which many Princes have undergone by so great folly hath been able to make them avoid the hard destiny of being violently hurried into Hell by these inconveniences his Majestie not to abandon his protection of the Governors of the world resolved some moneths since to proceed with severity against such servants who by their prodigious ambition and devillish cunning go about to command their masters insomuch as some years ago he laid great fines upon such and promised great rewards to any who would discover them to his Judges And about a fortnight since the Magistracy was told of one of these who being afterwards taken had the rack given him whereupon he confessed all the wicked tricks which he had used not onely to enslave but even to make his master adore him When Apollo saw the process made against this wicked one he was much troubled to find that those very Princes who are jealous of their own children either through their own blockishness or by the fraud of others can bring themselves to the shameful infamy of becoming a slave to one of their ignoble servants and he thought it very strange that a Son or Nephew of a Prince who that he might rule his Father or domineer over his Uncle had shewn himself to be infinitely ambitious and to thirst after Government and who at last had compast his desires could then so metamorphose himself as to relinquish that power which he by so many practises had gotten over a Superior to one who was so far beneath him a great wonder certainly and which mans vvit can give as little reason for as for the hidden vertue of the Load-stone Apollo to the end that Princes might learn to keep themselves from committing such indignities by seeing vvhat punishment vvas inflicted upon this Court-favorite caused all the Princes that are resident in this Court to meet tvvo days ago in the great Hall of Audience in vvhose presence and to their greater confusion he caused Atorney Bossio to read aloud the shameful process made against this vvicked one wherein vvhen he vvas asked vvhat tricks he had used to get the command over his Master made ansvver That from the very first day that he
immature death both bad him comfort himself in the benign Laws of Parnassus since thereby for the better encouragement of his Litterati the good mind and vertuous intention of his beloved Poets being had in more regard then the quality of the Compositions which they brought to Parnassus they gave with the same liberality the reward of intire Immortality to Poems which were but begun by the pregnant brains of the Litterati and which were interrupted not by lasiness but by death as if they had been brought to their full perfection Thus was Immortality favorably decreed to the Name and Writings of Baldo Cataneo who being with wonted solemnity placed by the Masters of the Pegasean Cerimonies amongst the demi Gods who enjoy the signal Prerogative of Immortality to their Names and Fames a Litterato appeared in the Royal Audience who by his Gown after the Grecian fashion and by the evident signe of his beard was known by the greatest part of the Senat for that famous Timotheo Greco who having gaged his beard about the dispute of a syllable with Francisco Filelfo that famous Poet of Marcha it was by the severe Victor cut off whereupon all the spectators began again to laugh and greatly to wonder how Timotheo who had never been very wise had so much to his prejudice dared to present himself in that place to demand a Residence in Parnassus which is only granted to the Litterati of highest esteem Yet Timotheo spake boldly thus to Apollo I may truely say I have been rather a lover of Learning then that by my perpetual study I may have deserved the name of a perfect Litterato though I come empty-handed before your Majesty and I dare demand a place in Parnassus amongst your Litterati yet I hope I shall not part from your Royal presence without receiving some favour from that your immense benignity which doth largely reward the bare intense desire which men have of knowledg Timotheo was upon his knees as the custom is whilst he made this his Petition to Apollo when a thing that was never at any time before observed to be done to any personage how eminent soever his Majesty beckned to him to stand up and bad him be covered And then commanded that according to the custom the Senat should give their suffrages touching Timotheus admittance The Litterati who had but an ill opinion of Timotheo and therefore were sorry to see him enter the Court firmly believed that by the extraordinary favour done to one whom Filelfo had so affronted his Majesty would try the stedfastness of his Senators opinions in giving their Votes and whether they would be diverted by his extraordinary usage towards any whosoever Wherefore they did not only all of them joyntly give him the repulse but many of them shewing themselves more zealous of the glory of Parnassus then they needed said freely that the great affront put by Filelfo upon Timotheo did not only mark him out to every one for an ignorant person but for a great babler a thing which his Majesty and the whole Senat did much detest You my faithful Litterati answered Apollo have given a very ill Judgement of this my Vertuoso one than whom and let not this be offensive to any one mine eyes never beheld a more glorious personage and to whom the glory of eternal Fame with all the most priviledged prerogatives ought rather to be given O how signal how immense how praise-worthy was the glory which thou my dear Timotheo didst get in the loss of the wager which thou didst lay with Filelfo how much ought it to be commended admired and rewarded by me and by these my Litteratio more then all the actions ever done by any whoever thirsted after glory Thou art he alone who to this day hast known how by keeping constant to thy Oath made and by making good thy word to purchase that Crown of glory of maintaining promise both to God and man which most commonly is so abusefully measured by the compass of Interest both by Princes and privat men as there can no so strict form of Oath be found no faith whereby to bind men from which they cannot tell how to acquit themselves not only by a thousand evasions but even by affronted impiety Thine then Timotheo be the chief and most honorable place of this my Senat and let all men learn by the glory which 〈◊〉 this day adjudge thee worthy of that men win so much honour by constantly keeping their word when it is once given yea though it be prejudicial to their own affairs as glory is by all men esteemed beyond comparison greater then the love of any thing that is earthly This was the end of fortunate Timotheus his business when Ferdinando of Aragon the Catholike King of Spain appeared with great gravity in the Court and attended by a great many Lords who complained grievously that it being a hundred years since he had earnestly prest to be admitted into Parnassus he could never obtain his desire and that it was not only he alone but even all those that knew him that thought it a great injury done him to be denied that abode which was easily granted to many that were inferior to him both in merit and State Apollo answered King Ferdinando That it was the antient custom of Parnassus that Princes who desired to be admitted into his State should be chosen by the Votes of the Litterati of their own Nation as those who knew best their Kings deserts and that he would by no means break those orders which by so long a concourse of time had still proved good and then his Majesty having commanded that they should again go to their votes he in a grave manner minded the Nation of Arragon how straitly she was bound both to God and man to weigh the merits of her Kings with the ballance of a soul free from all passion The Votes being given they were all found to be negative for which reiterated injury Ferdinando being highly incensed Sir said he Can then such a King as I be so ill dealt withall and scorned by his ungrateful Nation without being able to receive remedy for such injustice for so manifest injury from Apollo's self What other Nation either in antient or modern times is there in all the world which ought to acknowledg it self more obliged unto its Prince then is Arragon to me its King and so great Benefactor who from that obscurity of fame which every one knows she was in have made her to be held in high esteem by all the Nations of the earth by the glorious union which I made between the powerful Kingdom of Castiel and her by Queen Isabels Marriage Whilst King Ferdinando with strange alterations of mind said these things it was observed that some of the chief Arragon Senators shook their heads which he taking to be done to his yet greater disgrace grew so incenst as Apollo observing it to avoid some foul inconvenience