sharpe nailes which pierced and fastned thy feet and hooked them to the Crosse O Iesus have mercy upon me and intercede for mee to thy heavenly Father intercede for me to day this houre this moment that he may pardon me my sins In the second place he said Verily I say unto thee to day shalt thou be with me in Paradise How milde O Lord how courteous art thou to sinners thy delight is amongst the sonnes of men even in thy strongest and most unutterable torments Thou wast hanged betweene a most wicked paire of theeves thou stretchest forth thy hand that one of them might take hold of it and that thou mightest draw him to thee with it and gather him to thee as a hen gathereth her young ones under her wings How pleasing is the society to thee when a sinner joynes himselfe to thee and if they will with what affection dost thou receive and heale them The Theefe on the left-hand thinking reproachfully of thee doth revile and blaspheme thee most virulently therefore thy sorrowes sweat labour drops of blood streams of blood prayers and intercession could nothing profit him the Theefe on the right-hand having a zealous opinion of thee acknowledgeth thee and though he cannot with his hands yet doth hee embrace thee with a contrite and devout heart he begges a great thing of thee and obtaines the greatest he begges for a favourable remembrance of him and he obtains eternall gladnesse O example of true and wonderful repentance For what is true repentance what but that which is sorrowfull for offences confesseth them and hath recourse to Christ their Deliverer by a stedfaâ—â— faith but it is miraculous because then at length Christ is acknowledged the expiation of his sin when his most sick soule doth meditate the forsaking of the habitation of his body and the Redeemer himselfe is in suffering the last and most horrid punishment O Christ my Lord and my God grant that I also may bewaile and confesse my sinnes and aske thee pardon for them and alwayes weigh with my selfe thy merits grant that I may doe this with the Theefe but that I may not put off my desire of thee to the last period of my life as many doe who naughtily excuse their most wicked procrastination by the example of the Theefe Let me not come to that hardnesse of heart that the late gained salvation of the converted Theefe should make me more carelesse nor let me say my conscience tortures me not my life shall not trouble me because I see the Theefe had all his sinnes pardoned in a moment Consider ô my soule thou guest and companion of my body not so much the concise confession and faith of the Theefe but the earnest devotion and mournfull time wherein the Apostles themselves did wander and forsake their Master then imitate the faith and zeale of the Theefe and at last promise to thy selfe his salvation Now that unplacable enemie of our soules tries to leade thee into this security that in the fatall houre of death he may thrust thee head-long into infernall destruction It is impossible to be spoken how many are circumvented and damned by the shadow of this deceitfull hope he deceives himselfe and makes a sport of his damnation whosoever seekes not for the mercie of God but at the houre of his death they are abominable to God that sinne with a hope that it will be time enough to be converted to God in their old age The Theefe that at this time did so miraculously apply Christs death to himselfe had not formerly put off his repentance for he had never before heard of the doctrine of Christ therefore in this minute of an houre in this twinckling of an eye make mee pray unto thee and convert thee unto me lest securely promising my selfe salvation I fall from my salvation Grant that being converted I may be charitable to my neighbour and take care for his conversion and salvation as the penitent Theefe did admonish the impenitent Theefe and did labour to bring him unto thee Ah my Lord remember me also in thy Kingdome if thou wilt at least think me worthy to be remembred and cast a gratious eye upon mee and I shall have enough because I am sure of thy power and wisdome and I am confident of thy pitie and charitie Ah suffer me to be with thee in Paradise where is the soules happinesse and the beautifull vision of God I cannot be well without thee nor can any ill be with thee CONTEMP c. 19. Of the third and fourth word of Christ uttered upon the Crosse WHo are they O Lord Jesus Christ who not onely followed thee to the Crosse but doe also abide under thy Crosse Who are they not only spectators of thy most cruell punishment but exposed also to the cruell torment of their eyes and soules It is Christs Mother the crowne of Virgins it is Mary thy Mother it is John thy kinsman it is thy most loving Disciple who leaned upon his Masters brest when he was at supper him whom thy soule loved a sword doth pierce their soules thornes and needles doe pricke their eyes whilst they see thee stretched upon the Crosse with all thy sinewes torne all bloody even springing forth with blood thou hast taught me by those thy distressed beholders made wet with showres of teares that thy most deare children are most neare to the Crosse those whom thou dost most fervently love they are most grievously and most often made subject to the Crosse There cannot bee a true Church that cannot bee miserable thou thy selfe dost drinke to her in the cup of affliction which if she refuse or loath it she is a bastard We ought to be like thee let us be contented that we may be as our Master whosoever desires to be above his Master is proud and not worthy of his Master we are a burning bush which is burnt but not consumed we are a citie besieged but not taken we are the Moone labouring under an eclipse but not perpetually losing her light wee are the Arke of Noah exposed to the Flood yet not over whelmed with it we are the woman in travell whom the dragon pursues but yet kills her not we are the lilly amongst the thornes and yet wee wither not thy most cruell torments O Lord could not so farre afflict and torture thee but that thou haddest a care of thine but that thou wouldest speak to thy mother and to thy disciple for thy third word upon the crosse was uttered to them behold thy Sonne behold thy Mother Me thinks O Lord I see into thy bowells into the depth of thy thoughts thou complainest the sorrowes of death have compassed mee about but yet that sword doth no lesse break and wound my heart which hath with unspeakable torment peirced thy soule most sweet mother I behold also thee most loving yong man the most inimate of my friends most sweet desciple I behold thy groanes and sighes for the losse
all ennoble the Garden that Tree of life and the Tree of the knowledge of good and evill When thy faithfull servant calls it the Tree of life doth he doe it because it had received this power from thee that he which should eat of its fruit should have his body confirmed in a setled state of health and a perpetuall strength that it should not decline to worse or to death by sicknesse or infirmity of age Thy very Word doth intimate thus much unto me Our first Parents were nourished with the fruits of the other trees that their living bodies should not suffer hunger or thirst but therefore they were to taste of the tree of life that death might not creepe upon them from any side nor that they should in continuance of time perish by reason of old age the other trees were for nourishment that for a Sacrament How great was thy care my God how great thy providence thou gavest me not a momentany pleasure nor a yearely but an everlasting Now I am weakned by diseases I am tormented with cares I am tortured with griefe but this is besides thy will though not contrary unto it for what could happen to me against thy Will could one haire have fallen from my head if thou hadst not willed it should be so what was now my first habitation the narrow and dark part of the womb where I was environed with the ill sented sides of the belly I come crying into this life I depart out of it with sweat and I passe through it with labour nor is there any one that can boast himselfe free from this condition being borne and brought into this light I cannot move my selfe from one place to another in my first infancy I am void of all pleasure I am a burden both to my selfe and unto others and exposed to innumerable dangers even till I attaine to these yeares wherein reason and judgement begin to florish in me happier in that one thing than in the other part of my life that I understand not my unhappy condition What shall I say O my God my yeares are multiplyed and my cares increase but I was not even worthy of these things Thou canst not doe otherwise than lead me and support me with thy hand although I did not deserve life but hell and destruction when I had opened my impious mouth and devoured the forbidden fruit thou didst ordeine the tree of the knowledge of good and evill for my Altar and Temple that I should yeeld thee due obedience in abstaining from the fruit thereof I would be made wiser and did become most unwise before the Fall I had the knowledge and experience of a present good I had only the knowledge but not the experience of an absent evil but after the Fall there was in me a certaine knowledge of a lost good but no experience of it and I had a knowledge an experience of an adherent evill Woe is mee when shall I returne thither whence I am expelled I desire not a garden but a house not a figure but the thing figured I desire not to rule but to become a servant I aske not to sit but to stand and observe thy Commandements Looke on mee O my Father looke on me and approve me and be pleased in thy mercy that I may finde favour in thy sight that the dores of thy palace may bee opened unto mee when I knock I beseech thee by my Lord thy Sonne the man of thy right hand the Sonne of man whom thou hast established for a Mediatour betweene thy selfe and me by whom thou soughtest me when I sought thee not that I might seeke thy Word by which thou hast made all things and mee amongst the rest thy onely Sonne by whom thou hast called thy beleeving people unto thy adoption and amongst them me also I beseech thee by him that sits at thy right hand and doth intercede unto thee for me in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisedome and knowledge open quickly unto me and grant me passage O my God that I may enter into the joy which cannot enter into mee because it is farre greater than I am CONTEMP c. 6. Of the Serpent the Deceiver THe devill is wicked foule and terrible hee doth therefore as much as he is able hide his own face and puts on a strange countenance yet all his thoughts all his endevours and all his actions are to deceive when hee perswades to good hee deceives for a greater mischiefe that is to arise from that good in perswading unto evill under the shew of goodnesse in diswading from good as if it were evill in diswading from evill that he may bring in a worse evill The deceiver invades the Serpent that wee might not discover the hidden fraud that hee might with more ease and profit bring to passe that which hee had wickedly and most cunningly projected The Serpent was a beautifull and subtile creature therefore not unfit to entice to move to perswade and to seduce O thou deceiver O thou turne-coate O thou ensnarer and deceiver most lying spirit thou transformest thy selfe into an Angel of light that thy subtilty and slights of darknes should not be discerned thou dissemblest the night of thy malice that wee might promise to our selves goodnesse from that which is most vile and wicked thou mouldest and paintest deckest and fashionst thy instruments that they may finde some time for acceptance with us if thou shouldest rransforme thy selfe into an enraged lyon or wert so bold to change thy selfe into a cruell Beare who would not tremble take heed and flie from thee thou goest amongst us therefore most comely and most courteously that thou mayest without being perceived finde admittance of those that are heedlesse yea and oftentimes also of those that are most wary What are those vile teachers whose consciences are feared that glitter in so many ceremonies so many formes of worship and so many commentaries or expositions of things but serpents but broods of vipers that cunningly bite us they put on sheeps cloathing that they may cover their wolvish clawes Thou old Serpent thou usest the subtill wits of men which are the fittest of all for thy desires the simple humble and abject doe seldome broach Heresies He that hath profited much in knowledge for the most part attributes much to himselfe he avoides the beaten way wherein the credulous common sort of Christians doe walke and is wise apart and departs to fall headlong into the gulph of errors Give me my God moderate wisedome but that I may profit exceedingly in a holy life and in saving faith thou wilt not aske mee hereafter what I have scene but what I have beleeved not what I have read but what I have done Grant that I may receive with an humble heart what thou offerest mee and settest forth in thy Word not regarding what either superstitious reason or the mischievously obtuse pitch of wit and foolish subtilties of Doctors doe argue
of him in whom thou hast placed all thy hope and trust I therefore that am forsaken of all doe bring to both of you that small ayd I am able thou O Mother behold another Sonne for thee thou my disciple behold another helpe for thee O most holy Jesus O most faithfull Saviour O most mercifull helper how many sad widows doest thou even now comfort how many poore orphans doest thou now relieve how many afflicted persons doest thou now take charge of I am also widowed of all comfort and deprived of all sustenance robbed of all protection and aid the anxieties of my mind are many my affliction is great my griefes are multiplied comfort me sustaine me take care of me O thou omnipotent Comforter of those that bee sad thou Strength of those that labour let my groanes come unto thee what extremity soever I am in that in my necessities I may joy in the presence of thy mercy Heare also yee that have eares to heare the fourth word Let my soule attend let my spirit attend and let all the devotion that is in me give her attention our Priest in the dayes of his flesh offered up prayers and supplications with teares and strong cries unto him that was able to save him from death My God my God why hast thou forsaken me The just God and heavenly Father who begate thee from eternity who by a voyce from heaven testified of thee This is my beloved Sonne heare him hath forgotten thee hee left thee not for thine owne cause but for mine for I by my sinnes have begotten thee these labours and griefes it was I was to be forsaken but thou stoodest in my stead thou who speakest righteousnesse who art the bulwarke of salvation hast trod the wine-presse alone and there was not a man to helpe thee thou lookedst about and there was no helper thou soughtest but foundst none that might save O how bitter was this forsaking to thee but how pleasant and how happie to mee Thou God exceeding long-suffering thou shalt not leave me for ever because thy Sonne was forsaken for me Thou ardent lover of my soule thou diligent Saviour of sinners thou most courteous searcher of men thy most obedient Sonne tooke on him the punishment which was due for my sins which are so much against thee hee hath borne the sinners burthen hee hath endured the horrours of death and terrours of hell and hath most largely satisfied for me Leave me not then O my God depart not from me O my God in the day of my death if the so copious satisfaction of thy Sonne if my so dangerous misery can move thee to compassion be present with me most miserable sinner pitifully heare my prayers and help mee in the houre of death neither remember my iniquities but O thou fountaine of mercyes deale with mee according to thy exceeding great mercy CONTEMP c. 20. Of the fifth word of Christ uttered upon the Crosse GAther O gather your selves together and heare saith the Patriarch Iacob when he stretched forth his feet to enter into the way of all flesh and stood even at the threshold of his wished-for eternity but if the last words of a man were to bee received with such attention what attention may be required what fervour what diligence to heare his last words who is both God and man who is above all the Patriarches in whom all the Patriarches did trust and whom they wished so often to behold The words were seven The number of seven is a peculiar number a holy number and is used in many mysteries it is here also peculiar it is holy and not barren of mysteries thou hast already understood this O my soule and thou shalt know it in part hereafter The first word of our Lord was I thirst ah Lord all thy spirits were dissipated all thy strength issued forth in the torrent of thy blood for thou wast a man of sorrowes and experienced in infirmities despised and a man of the least esteeme although thou haddest committed no offence nor was guile found in thy mouth therefore wast thou scorched with extream thirst and yet thou Saviour and preserver of men thou couldest not obtaine drink from men O most barbarous cruelty the Lord did travell with extreame thirst at the beginning of his passion and that thirst did increase still more and more so that it was one of the greater sort of torments which the Lord endured upon the crosse for the letting out of the great plenty of the vitall fountaine doth dry and cause thirst therefore the Lord who after much wearinesse and by his scourging lost much blood and afterwards being crucified had foure open fountaines as it were in his body from which great plenty of blood had for a long time issued forth how could it be but that hee must be tormented with extreame thirst They who have received many wounds from which much blood doth flow desire nothing so much as drink as if they suffered nothing but thirst but who was there that took pitty and offered so much as cold water who was present who had a fellow-feeling of his sorrowes there was not one nor any found to comfort him O Jesus thou heavenly Lord they gave thee gall to eate and in thy thirst they have thee vineger to drink thy beloved John saith there was a vessell set full of vineger and they fastning a sponge full of vineger to an hysop stalk offered it to his mouth O cruell wickednesse as they had at the beginning a little before his crucifying offered him wine mixed with gall so at the departure of his soule they offer him vineger a most pernitious thing for his wounds that Christs passion might be a true and continued passion from the beginning to the end without any mixture of comfort in stead of refreshing and pleasing liquour they offer him hurtfull and bitter O refreshing without any refreshing O most lamentable consolation When Sampson had slaine the Philistims he thirsted exceedingly and the Lord opened a great tooth for him in the jaw-bone of an asse whence waters did flow and thou when thou haddest overcome the most potent enemies the world satan and death diddest also thirst extreamely but no waters were given thee and the Antitype was in a farre worse condition than the type which the Conquerour of the Philistims did represent wee alas had deserved eternall thirst to us was due that scorching heat which the glutton had when hee lifted up his eyes being in torments and saw Abraham afarre off and Lazarus in his bosome and crying said Father Abraham take pitty of me and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and refresh my tongue for I am tormented in these flames but thou that takest pitty of us that most ardently thirstest for our salvation hast in thy thirst suffered that thirst and hast deserved so much for us that we shall one day neither hunger nor thirst any more neither
shall Sun or heat fall on us because thou dost governe us and leadest us to the fountaines of waters and shalt wipe away all teares from our eyes thou shalt make us drunk with the plenteousnesse of thy house and refresh us with the streames of thy pleasure O Lord as the hart desireth the fountaines of water so longeth my soule after thee O Lord my soule hath thirsted after God the living fountaine when shall I come and appeare before the face of God O Lord when shall I worthily call to mind thy mercyes thy praises which are farre above all things which thou hast given me and exceeding the multitude of the goods of my house which thou hast bestowed upon mee according to the multitude of thy mercyes CONTEMP 21. c. Of Christs sixt word uttered upon the Crosse THou hast performed all and every of those things which thou knewest necessary to recover our salvation most willingly and with all thy heart And therefore thy sixt word was not it shall be finished as thou diddest say in thy journey to Jerusalem behold we goe up to Jerusalem and all things shall be fulfilled which are written by the Prophets concerning the Son of man for hee shall be delivered up to the Gentiles shall bee mocked shall be scourged and spitt upon and after they have scourged him they shall put him to death But hee saies it is finished whatsoever the wicked nation could invent to exasperate thy torments is finished thou truly diddest foretell the houre and power of darkenesse and the time of thy crucifying I have finished sayest thou the work which thou gavest me to doe but that was another work namely the work of Preaching the Gospell as thou thy selfe doest intimate unto mee when thou addest I have manifested thy name unto men this work which thou sayest is finished is the work of suffering for mankind the work of drinking off the cup of the passion which thy father hath given thee thou hast now drunk it all off so that there remaines nothing but that thou give up the ghost the power which was given the apostate Angels and the filthy rabble of wicked men is finished thy pilgrimage wherein thou wentest out from thy father and diddest come into the world is finished wherein thou wast upon the earth like a husbandman and a travailer the mortality of thy humanity is at an end every prophecy which the prophets had foretold concerning thy life or death is finished the greatest sacrifice of all sacrifices is finished that upon which all the sacrifices of the old covenant as types and shaddows did reflect for by one oblation thou hast for ever made perfect those that are sanctified and art become the end of the Law to every one that beleeveth Now the variety of carnall sacrifices ceasing thou fulfillest all those distinctions of beasts by once offering up of thy body and blood thou hast O Lord drawne all things unto thy selfe for by rending the vaile of the temple the Sanctum Sanctorum departed from the unworthy high Preists that the figure might bee turned into a truth the prophecy into a manifestation and the Law into a Gospell O cleane O unspotted sacrifice whose Altar was the Crosse which the viler it was before Christ overcame it so much the more famous and noble did it afterwards become the fire thereof that consumes the burnt offering and perfecteth the sacrifice is this immeasurable charity which like a furnace exceedingly heated did burne in thy heart O Jesus which the many waters of thy sufferings could not extinguish O Jesus my redeemer my mercy my Saviour I praise thee I give thanks unto thee though farre unproportionable to thy benefits though very voyd of devotion though leane in comparison of that fatnesse which thy most sweet affection towards us doth require in them yet my soule doth pay unto thee what thanks shee is able not such as shee knowes are due unto thee from mee Thou hope of my heart thou vertue of my soule let thy most powerfull worth perfect that which my most chill weaknesse doth endeavour my life thou end of my intention though I have not loved thee so much as I ought to love thee yet doe I at least desire to love thee as much as I ought O Jesus let this word alwayes stick in my memory It is finished When sinne and damnation shall band themselves against mee wrastling with the pangs of death and shall present unto mee my ugly life made deformed by my sinnes let me be able then to say the sacrifice for my sinnes is finished For thou art the Lambe of God that takest away the sinnes of the world Thou hast not redeemed me with corruptible silver and gold but with thy most precious blood as it were of an unspotted undefiled lamb When the law shall accuse me and shall exact punishment let me say each tittle of it is accomplished For when the fulnes of time was come God sent his Son made under the Law that he might redeem those which were under the Law and that we also might receive the adoption of children When death shall infest and terrifie me let me say thy power is determined thou art conquered by my Lord who hath spoiled thee of thy power hath taken out thy sting and purged out thy poyson that death may be to me a sweet repose great gaine a dismission in peace a recalling from evils a momentary hiding me till wrath is past and till heaven gates be opned for me When kindred friends and acquaintance shall at the time of my departure bewaile my going hence and compasse my bed with groanes and teares let me say my course is finished the appointed time is past the period is fixed which we cannot passe the glasse is runne the houre of freedome drawes neare here my misery makes a stand and the haven I make to is neare where all teares shall be wiped away behold I leave unto you a Fulfiller of all good and an asswager and ender of all evill hee shall comfort you if you flie unto him hee shall keepe and defend you to whom I recommend my soule and to whom I recommend you the beloved of my soule for evermore Amen CONTEMP c. 22. Of the seventh and last word of Christ uttered upon the Crosse ALthough Lord Jesus Christ great is thy humility great thy abasement and great is thy affliction that thou seemest scarce a man but a worm yet in thy seventh and last word before thou gavest up the ghost tho-shewedst thy selfe not a man only but even set above the reach of mans power for when thou wast about to breathe out thy most holy Spirit thou criedst out Father into thy hands I commend my Spirit Ah what a mournfull lamentable sad and miserable silence is there when mournfull lamentable sad and miserable man is commanded to breathe forth his soule how silent faint and how dead as it were are all things before death our death-bed takes
but feare God and examine exactly what may be truly profitable for thee Doe good to the poore with all thy power that thou mayest gather for thy selfe a treasure in heaven Doe all that God bids thee for thou art bound to doe good with thy will and spirit but he that knowes to doe well and doth it not he is guilty of sinne but he that doth good doth it not from himselfe but for that cause that it is bestowed on him of God and that he belongeth unto God Love not O man the world or the things of the world as the lusts of the flesh the desires of the eyes and the pride of life but feare God and meditate with thy selfe of heavenly things strive to fulfill Gods will in all vertuousnesse shun worldly minds set upon the earth that thou be not defiled with other mens sins seeke Gods kingdome and so use the mirth is permitted to thee that thou mayest alwayes tremble stand in awe and shew thy selfe thankfull that thou fall into no secret sin or be delighted with the tree of good and evill and with the sight of a momentany pleasure thou remove like Eve the law of God out of thine eyes and heart which should be neverthelesse the summe and highest pitch of all thy delights It should be thy delight night and day that it may be to thee the right way the truth and the life if thou wilt lead a a living life conducting to life eternall not to everlasting death Next O man keepe these three things faith charity and stedfastnesse of hope What ever thou dost see thou doe it in faith in simplicity of heart in confidence of the fatherly will of God and give God thanks to whom they are due and his blessings shall be alwayes thy handmaid let charity spring from the ground of thy heart nor be carefull to give thy selfe content but labour with feare and humility to please God Be pleasing unto men in truth mercy and justice without flattery for that is perfect charity Charity bids us look to the things that concerne God our neighbour not only those things which concern my selfe Let thy hope be without feare and doubting let him that desires divine heavenly and eternall things rest upon the wil of God and not upon slippery fraile and brittle things No man shall make thee lose thy hold of that hope which thou hast placed upon God thou mayest hope upon him even in the pangs of death for he is omnipotent Never let humility slip out of thy mind for he preserveth thy life by simplicitie strengthens it by patience and feeds it by truth Commit all thy waies unto God and hee shall bring it to passe he knowes what is for thy profit and what not Thinkest thou that he knowes not thy condition behold God sees and knowes all things and nothing is hid from his eyes He regards also the poore and contrite spirit and him that trembleth at his Word Search not therefore after high things when thou art commended feare because thou art an unprofitable servant and canst doe nothing except thou be assisted by the power favour and Spirit of God Thinke not better of thy selfe than of thy neighbour for thou art a man of nought remember God is only to be honoured and thou shalt be the greater if thou cast down thy selfe Be alwayes ruminating of these things first let no vain idle scurrilous words break from thy lips but godly pleasing profitable which tend to life and lead not to death therefore bridle thy tongue and restraine it for it can kill and give life Secondly to keepe thy soule and conscience free from wickednesse exclude thou malice and impious thoughts and never shun the light O thrice happie and more is hee whose heart condemnes him not Thou belongest to God O man walke upright with God remove from thee darknesse lyes and injustice for he is a Judge and a revenger of such things Trie and prove thy selfe in all things that thou mayst know what vice sticks to thee what vertue thou wantest that thou mayst shake off that and purchase this for thou canst never bee so perfect that something will not still be wanting Whatsoever thou dost thou dost it by Gods indulgence and helpe if it be acceptable to him for of thy selfe thou art very nothing and by the assistance of Gods holy Spirit canst thou onely proceed in goodnesse stay not therefore or hinder the operations thereof work out thy salvation with feare and trembling in continuall repentance humility and simplicitie of heart and think that thou art neither worthy of the blessings of this life or of that which is to come Lastly pray without ceasing in all thy labours pray reverently devoutly and humbly with faith in all thy wayes with a most fervent desire of thy neighbours salvation Thou must pray in thy chamber in solitarinesse in most humble devotion in fastings in teares in anguish in weeping in contrition upon thy knees night and day with a full hope and not doubting according to the will of God for all the true professors of the Christian faith study in all things to please God and not men whosoever honours God God will also honour him whosoever contemnes God God shall also contemne him Grant me thy grace most mercifull God that it may bee with me that it may labour with me and may continue with me even unto the end Grant I may alwayes will and desire that which is most acceptable unto thee and most dearly pleaseth thee let thy will be my will and let my will alwayes follow thine and agree best with it let me will and will the same thing that thou dost and grant I may not have power otherwise to will or not to will them as thou dost O my God thou unspeakable sweetnesse turne all carnal comforts into bitternesse unto me which doe draw me from the love of things eternall and evilly allure mee under colour of some present delectable good Let not flesh and blood O my God overcome me let not the world and its short glory deceive me let not the devill and his subtilty supplant mee Give mee strength to resist patience to endure constancie to performe give mee in stead of all the comforts of the world the most sweet unction of thy Spirit and infuse into mee the love of thy Name in stead of carnall love Confirme me my God by the grace of thy holy Spirit give mee power to bee strengthned in the inward man and to emptie my heart of all unprofitable care and vexation nor to be distracted with the various desires of any thing whether it be vile or precious but that I looke upon all things as if they passed but by me and that I did also passe away as they doe because nothing under the Sun is of any continuance but all things are vanity and vexation of spirit O how wise is he that thus considers with himselfe Give me my God heavenly wisdome
Returne returne thou degenerate son nor will I set my face against thee so that thou wilt acknowledge the sinnes by which thou hast offended thy God How often hast thou called me unto thee by this most pleasing voice How often hast thou exhorted me by great feare by most terrible threats by the daily expectation of daily danger of perpetuall death and strict judgement how many preachers hast thou afforded me how many teachers hast thou set over me who partly by doctrine and partly by example should shew me the way I should walke in Thou hast allured me by most gentle compellations thou hast chastised me by dangerous sicknesses and other miseries and hast left out nothing that might induce me from the old way What shall I render unto thee O Lord for all thy blessings bestowed upon me I owe thee my selfe and all things I enjoy because thou hast created me for thou madest me and what ever I have Againe I owe thee my selfe and all things I possesse because thou hast preserved me besides Lord thou gavest thy selfe to be my great and plenteous reward What can I render unto thee If I had in my hand all the lives of all the Angels and all the soules of all mankinde and I should resolve to pay them to thee they could not stand in comparison with one drop of thy blood shed for me therefore I most worthily complaine and cry out who shall give water to my head and a fountaine of teares to my eyes and I will weepe night and day and deplore mine owne abominable ingratitude wherewith I thy creature O my best Creator have repayed thee for all thy so many and so great and so incomprehensible benefits bestowed upon me Helpe me O my God impart thy grace unto me that I may with inward contrition confesse unto thee my back-sliding from thee Ah! Lord I am thy creature though most unhappy and unworthy of thee my Creator Thou didst create me according to thine own image and similitude looke backe upon me O God take from me what ever I have brought in and then thou shalt finde nothing but good in me and that which thou hast bestowed upon me O thou most perfect worker of all goodnesse Alas I have resisted the powers of thy holy will and striven much to oppose thee Oh with what security have I given my self over to wrath my feet made haste to doe evill my hands prepared themselves to doe mischiefe to covetousnesse and all manner of impurities my eyes were turned to behold vanity my eares were open to receive lies filthy talking slandering and reproaching My soule that was a most noble soule and neare in nature to thy heavenly Ministers and ought to have contemplated to beheld and have reflected upon thee turnes backe from thy unspeakable beauty and turnes it selfe towards the flattering deceitfull beauty of the world and laboured this with care that it might abuse the fraile goods of this world to her owne lusts and knew not how grievous and hurtfull this would prove unto her This behold is the understanding part of my soule let us see what good may proceed from the will Thou hast enclined O Lord my will to heavenly riches but it hath declined to earthly things and hath wholly enthralled her selfe by a vaine love unto them this O Lord is that grace which I have repayed thee for thy most precious gifts What shall I answer thee ah Lord if thou shouldest call me before thy judgement seat and shouldest say I have planted thee for a noble vine and that thou shouldest wholly be a faithfull seed how then are you changed into degenerate branches of a wilde vine But if I stand in so foule a condition upon examination of the benefit of my Creation what will it prove if I should give an account of the benefits of my Preservation For thou hast preserved him so many dayes so many moneths so many yeares who hath dedicated all his senses to the contempt and despite of all thy Commandements who hath persecuted thy servants who hath beene a scandall to the communion of thy Saints who hath strengthened and enlarged the kingdome of sinners Thou hast preserved the tongue that hath blasphemed thee and taken thy Name in vaine thou hast preserved the members that have most vehemently offended thee thou hast given him meat and drinke that hath abused them both to thine owne reproach I have not beene onely unthankfull but I armed my selfe with thine owne blessings against thee Thou createdst all thy creatures for me even for my profit and to draw me to love thee and I have used thy creatures to the inexcusable hatred of thee Those things which ought to have brought me to thy most beautifull wisdome did make me blinde and made me not only not to looke up but did even close mine eyes that I should not behold how much the Creator did excell those his so many faire and comely creatures for the most rare Artist of all beauty and comelinesse was He that that created them Thou gavest me all things that I should yeeld and consecrate my selfe unto thee thou wouldest have all things serve me that I might serve thee even I that have so little thought upon thee Thy creatures according to thy command are ready at thy becke but I alas have stoutly refused thy commandements Thou hast given me health of body and I have granted the use thereof to the devill thou hast given me strength understanding and a will and I have bestowed them upon the service of iniquity And what shall I say as many dangers and losses of other men as I have beheld so many of thy blessings towards my selfe have I seene that thou didst not overwhelme me in the same dangers and losses If thou shouldest send me what I deserve thou mightest finde me more worthy so many miseries than others are but it is thy mercy O Lord that I am not consumed Beasts are tamed by courtesies are made gentle and familiar for the service and obedience of man and yet thy benefits have not tamed me have not moved me that I might say in my heart Let us feare the Lord our God that giveth us raine the early and the later raine it its season preserving for us the fulnesse of the yearly harvest that enricheth us with his blessings that preserveth us from our birth even to our death Ought not these things to set before mine eyes and minde thy favour and mercy towards me But if I am so much bound unto thee for these benefits which thou hast produced for me by the bare power of thy Word what shall I be indebted to thee for redeeming me from eternall death and damnation by the precious blood of thine only begotten son Oh how much have I neglected thy most wise counsell how have I despised thy incarnation which I ought to adore Thou my God art made man that thou mightest make me partaker of the divine nature and I a
inheritance yet O my Father thou hast not lost the heart of a Father though I have fallen from thee my Father yet wilt not thou fall from me or cease to be my Father that word never failed As I live I will not the death of a sinner but that hee may bee converted and live And although my sins be innumerable and my wounds may seeme incurable yet art not thou ignorant of a way to cure me confirme therefore and fulfill thy promises wash me effectually with the blood of thy Son that as to me his death prove not in vaine I am as well a part of his flesh and he a part of mine as Peter David or Paul he is as well to me an Emmanuel as to any other Hee bare the sins of the whole world and therefore hee bore mine also Looke back therefore look back therefore O Lord upon this lost sheepe regard thy creature nor contend with him in thy fury whom thou hast made with thy hands take care O Lord of the soule which thou hast redeemed I come creeping to thee wounded with many wounds but thou most experienced Physitian of soules and Maâ—â—er of the diseased canst heale them all I come being blinded but thou canst enlighten me I come dead unto thee but thou canst give me life I come full of leprosie but thou canst cleanse me Sprinkle me with Hysop and I shall be cleane wash me and I shall be whiter than snow O my God the God of my life thy mercy is greater than my sins thy clemencie exceeds all my iniquities Thou canst forgiue more O Lord than I can offend thy mercies are bottomlesse and numberlesse but as many as my sins are and as great as they are they are neither bottomlesse nor numberlesse Take me out therefore and deliver mee forgive mee my great injustice take away my stony and hard heart and create in me a soft and a cleane heart that even in this life I may give thee thanks let me by my faith and good example bring sinners to thee and let me glorifie thee and celebrate thee for these and other thy innumerable blessings for evermore Amen my God be it so even so be it my Lord Jesus Christ CONTEMP c. 38. Of the greatnesse and foulnesse of our sinnes and of the Confession of them I Am affraid of my rashnesse when I consider with my selfe what a Majestie I have offended with my sins when I consider how benigne and wonderfull a Father I have forsaken I detest mine owne ingratitude when I consider from how happie a libertie of spirit into how miserable servitude I have cast my selfe I condemne mine owne madnesse and am wholly displeasing to my selfe nor have any other object before my eyes but hell and desperation namely that doth terrifie my conscience by Gods inevitable Justice I am to be consumed like rottennesse sin is rottennesse indeed for it destroyes the beauty of the soule the sweet savour of a good name the worth of grace the relish of glory it is truly durt being wallowed therein we become abominable to honest men the good Angels and the just God It is truely smoak that foretels us that hell-fire is not farre from it and doth drive away the heavenly Dove It is indeed the Devils taverne in which for the price of soules hee sels the world the wine of pleasure it is the dart with which our soule is pierced thorow and is deprived of all vigour and life It is true sicknesse because it leaves us no health in our flesh nor from the presence of Gods wrath grants us any quietnesse in our bones It is truly a Sea for it swels over our head and easily swalloweth up our whole body It is truly a burden because a sinner is most burdened therewith and is even pressed downe unto hell it selfe But whither shall I goe where shall I withdraw my selfe Ah! be mercifull unto me O take pitie upon mee according to thy great mercy and according to the multitude of thy compassions wash away mine iniquities Against thee against thee onely have I sinned and done this evill in thy sight behold I am begotten in iniquitie and in sinne hath my mother conceived me I have gone astray like a sheepe that perisheth seeke out thy lost sheep O Lord remember not the faults and transgressions of my youth O Lord who understands his owne sins Cleanse me from my secret offences Enter not into judgement with thy servant because no man living can be justified before thee Remember O Lord thy mercies and compassions which have been of old Remember me according to thy mercies even for thy goodnesse sake O Lord. O Lord be mercifull unto mine offences make thy mercies wonderfull thou who savest those that trust in thee Turne not thy face from me nor cast away thy servant in displeasure for in death no man remembreth thee nor shall any praise thee in the grave What profit is in my bloud when I descend into corruption Shall dust give praise unto thee or set forth thy truth Regard and heare me O God lighten mine eyes that I sleepe not in death Set not thy mercies farre from me for thy mercy and truth doe alwayes preserve in thee O Lord have I trusted let me never be confounded Amen CONTEMP c. 39. Of Gods readinesse to forgive sinnes and our thankesgiving for the forgivenesse of them WHo can despaire of pardon from him who doth so often in the writings of the Prophets of his owne accord invite sinners to repentance crying out That he would not the death of a sinner but rather that he should bee converted and live How ready is also his pardon to them that repent he hath inculcated unto us by his only begotten Son in many of his Parables as of the groat that was lost and found againe the strayed sheepe brought back upon the shoulders but more plainly by that of the prodigall sonne whose very image I am No man O God is so ready to sinne but thou art far more ready in thy good time to pardon our sinnes O pitifull and mercifull Lord slow to anger and very pitifull He strives not with us for ever neither is he alwayes wrath with us Because as the heaven is higher than the earth so hath he made his mercies to prevaile over me As farre as the East is distant from the West so far hath he set my sins from me As a father taketh pity upon his sonne so hath the Lord taken pity upon me he hath washed me from my iniquity he hath clensed me from my sins he knows whereof we be made he remembers we are but dust Why art thou sad ô my soule and why art thou troubled returne ô my soule into thy rest for the Lord hath done thee good He hath delivered my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feet from falling Blessed are they whose sins are forgiven and whose offences are covered Blessed is the man unto whom the
is lost we even divide this very day we now enjoy betweene death and our selves Wretched man why disposest thou not of thy selfe every houre Think thou mayest now die because thou knowest thou must die call to mind that the time is comming upon the wings wherein thy eyes must sinke into thy head the veines of thy body shall be crackt in pieces and thy heart shall be cleft with sorrow remember thine owne frailtie remember the miserable estate of thy pilgrimage call to mind in the bitternesse of thy soule thy yeares past and the dangers of mans life Amidst the most uncertaine things of man yet is death most certaine yet what is found more uncertaine than the houre of death it takes no pitie upon want it reverenceth not riches and to conclude it spareth neither wisdome manners nor age this only is the difference that death standeth at the old mans doore and for the young man he lyes in ambush every one therefore ought well to feare this last day because every one in the day of Judgement shall be judged for such as he shall be found at his day of death Upon this only moment of our life depends eternity that hath no end What is more terrible than judgement and what can bee imagined more intolerable than hell What will a man feare if hee feare not these things if horrour seize not on him and if dread doe not cause him to tremble O man if thou have lost the shame which belongs to so noble a creature if thou bee not sensible of the sorrows of affliction which is also a property that belongs to mortall creatures yet lose not at least thy feare Feare therefore O man because in death thou must be parted from all the good things of this thy body and the sweet marriage knot of thy united soule and body must be cut in sunder by this most bitter divorce Feare because in that terrible Judgement thou must stand before him into whose hands it is a most fearfull thing to fall even before such an Examiner from whom nothing can be hid if iniquitie be found in thee thou must be banished the society of blisse and glory and bee severed from the number of the blessed Feare because in hell thou must be exposed to insufferable and everlasting torments and receive thy portion with the devill and his angels even in the everlasting fire prepared for them Dost thou not yet feare the face of the Judge which is even terrible to the angelicall Powers Dost not thou tremble at the wrath of that powerfull One at his angry countenance and his sharp words Art thou not affraid of the teeth of the infernall beast of the belly of hell of those yellings fore-runners of our devourings Are we not yet affraid of the gnawing worme scorching flames smoak and vapour brimstone and stormie tempests O! who shall give water to my head and a fountaine of teares unto mine eyes that by my weeping I may prevent that weeping and gnashing of teeth and those hard bands of hands and feet and that weight of oppressing fettering burning and yet not consuming chaines and that I may come to thee my Lord and my God Yet if any be so cursedly obdurate so fierce and steely that hee cannot be troubled with the feare of ill yet who can be so madde and senselesse that he will not be touched with the desire of good things There are laid up endlesse good things for them that make a godly end even things which the eye hath not seene nor the eare heard nor ever entred into the heart of man to conceive which God hath prepared for those that love him those things the preparer and worker whereof is God What things must they be thinkest thou The eye hath not seene them because they are not colour the eare hath not heard them for they are not a sound nor hath it entred into mans heart to conceive them because the heart of man must ascend unto them Why labour I then to make my tongue to utter that which my heart cannot conceive which is to be beleeved and not to be beheld nay it is not onely invisible but also unspeakable O Lord Jesus Christ when that most perilous moment approacheth wherein I shall enter into the way of immortality then give mee a quiet and pleasing repose that in the true acknowledgement and confession of thy grace I may yeeld up my spirit and my poore soule with peace and gladnesse and may deliver it into thy hands Neither let mee bee long tormented as I have a thousand times deserved and that I may enjoy peace on the earth in my body and may watch and be made coheire of the resurrection to life of all the beleevers that I may praise and glorifie thee with gladnesse and may give thee thanks for evermore for all the innumerable blessings which thou hast bestowed upon mee through the whole space of my pilgrimage Call me not to an account for my old scores and remember not the sins of my youth but be mercifull unto me according to thy great mercies and sustaine me in a firme faith and comfort even to my last gaspe that neither sinne death or the divell doe me any hurt nor that my own flesh make me impatient but that I may enter in unto thee that I may dwell with thee and may remaine with thee for evermore Amen CONTEMP c. 45. Of Eternity IS it this that divideth the entrailes parteth the bowels woundeth the heart tyes the tongue shutteth the lips distracteth the senses and overwhelmes all our members with feare Rivers slow from our eyes our cheekes are watered with teares and all this torrent hath its originall from this one word a terrible word by the force and threates whereof feare and anguish are bred in us a word that no day no voice shall determine no starre-light shall shadow no constellation shall darken a word that melts the marrow and softens breakes and even minces the heart and bones though harder than the Adamant or Marble This word is Eternity a word of longer continuance than the Heavens more terrible than thunder and lightning or any tempest whatsoever It is Eternity that hath neither pause measure nor end and drives on the minds of men as it were with goades and spurs and pricks so that they search not after mutable or transitory things This word hath moved many to pluck of their glittering crownes from their ayery heads and to despise the lofty bayes and made them let fall their towring plumes and putting on a courser habit to contemplate higher and more divine things This word doth wholely possesse me nor suffers me to enjoy any encrease of content it infuses into my most disquieted soule care feare and griefe O end most remote from any end ô time without time O yeare and no yeare O number not to bee summed up of any Descend descend my soule to hell not to mix thy selfe with flames but to avoid