Selected quad for the lemma: death_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
death_n	woman_n	world_n	young_a	200	3	6.3135	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A40384	The government of a wife, or, Wholsom and pleasant advice for married men in a letter to a friend / written in Portuguese, by Don Francisco Manuel ; with some additions of the translator, distinguished from the translation ; there is also added, a letter upon the same subject, written in Spanish by Don Antonio de Guevara, Bishop of Mondoñedo ... ; translated into English by Capt. John Stevens.; Carta de guia de casados. English	Mello, Francisco Manuel de, 1608-1666.; Guevara, Antonio de, Bp., d. 1545?; Stevens, John, d. 1726.	1697 (1697)	Wing F2062; ESTC R17060	99,081	268

ill Disposition in our Bodies than that the ill Humors found there should be changed by the Food into Nourishment Young Men think the Bands of Matrimony insupportable they are so to those who know not how to wear them but easy to them that do A small weight on a Man's back is cumbersom a much greater drawn upon Wheels is easier The Burthen of Wedlock is not beyond our strength it generally wants being supported by Prudence and therefore appears the heavier Would you know how light the Burthen of this sort of Life is VVeigh it by that you leave put into the Scale your former Restlessness the Dangers the Disgusts the Disorders of the Affections that general mistrust of all things that want of Confidence in any body Complaints which trouble Revenge which endangers Falshood in Friends which torments Jealousy which wastes Courtship that consumes you the dangers of your Honour the lavishing of your Health the exposing your Life and the continual remorse of your Conscience then will you rejoice all this is left behind VVere the advantages of VVedlock no other but that it delivered a Man from so many Evils well might it still merit the Name of a holy and sweet course of Life Now let us see what it is a marryed Man receives in lieu of his so much boasted of Freedom He is put into a better State of Freedom and is possessed of a VVoman who deposites in his hands her Liberty her VVill her Fortune her Care her Obedience her Life and even her very Soul VVho is there so blind that weighing what he leaves and what he receives will not discover how great a Gainer he is by the change One of the circumstances that most contributes towards securing the future Happiness of those that Marry is the due proportion of the Match Inequality of Birth of Fortune of Age causes Disputes and those Disputes produce Discord This it is that brings on all Troubles there is no Peace and the marryed Life is Hell upon Earth For the satisfaction of Parents it is requisite there be some equality in Birth for the good of the Children that there be a proportion of Fortunes and for the satisfaction of the Marryed Couple that there be no disproportion of Years It does not follow that this equality must hold between Man and VVife to a day or year but the difference ought not to be exceeding great VVhat odds there are ought always to be on the Husbands side who in all respects must be superior to the VVoman yet the greatest Happiness always consists in the greatest Equality A great Courtier among us used to say There were three sorts of Marriages in the world a Marriage of God a Marriage of the Devil and a Marriage of Death Of God when a Young Man marries a Young VVoman Of the Devil when an Old VVoman marries a Young Man And of Death when an Old Man marries a Young VVoman There is no doubt he was much in the right for a Young Couple may live with Content Old VVomen marryed to Young Men live in perpetual Discord Old Men marryed to Young VVomen hasten their own Death either through Jealousy or Excess But because these things are too vulgar and the meanest capacities have some knowledge of them and consequently the judicious enough it is time to come to particulars not so obvious Know then Sir that by VVedlock another Soul is added to your Soul and a new Duty is laid upon that which before was incumbent on you and therefore your care and industry ought proportionably to increase Just as a Man who having one good Farm which he looked after and endeavoured to improve if another happened to fall to him would endeavour to double his Industry that he might manage both without expressing any concern or trouble So a Marryed Man without afflicting himself must double his Forecast and Care that he may not be wanting to the new Charge he has taken and is lay'd upon him by the VVife he has received not that he should expose and ruin her and himself in her but that he should Live more pleasant and comfortably with her Let us see if it be possible to prescribe some rule of Love which is often what makes Marry'd People most Unhappy sometimes because it is wanting and sometimes because it is excessive Let us at least spread the Nets to catch this sort of prudent Love and let him fall into the Snare if he will though it is likeliest he will fly from it and that perhaps is the reason he is painted with Wings The Wife must be belov'd but not so that the Husband be lessen'd or brought into danger That sort of blind Love is only fit for Mistresses the Love of a Wife must have Eyes Let him either recover his own or borrow sight from the Understanding which can plentifully supply him It is then a Man is lessen'd by his Wife when he forfeits his Authority and exposes his Reputation rather than contradict her will in such cases where it is reasonable she should be contradicted It is equally dangerous to imitate Narcissus in loving another as in admiring ones self Certain Cardinals highly commended to Pope Pius Quintus a Servant he had whom he much favour'd the Pope answer'd he is a good Servant but never contradicts me It is rather the perfection of Love than any want of affection to curb the will of the loved object when bent upon things not fit to be allow'd There are some Men who have so little Sence they boast of their Captivity It is an equal shame for a Marry'd Man to let it be known his Wife commands him or that he makes her his Slave and not his Companion The Priviledge and the Authority that belongs to each ought of right to be setled and made known at first The Husband must be like the Sun in his House the Wife like the Moon what light she gives must be borrowed from him but she must never suffer an Eclipse He must Govern with absolute power and his respect must support her Authority She must fear him and he must cause all to fear her then both will be Obeyed In my Opinion Women are like precious Stones their Price is enhansed or abased according to the account we make of them Such as Marry Women above themselves in both Fortune or Knowledg are exposed to great danger God has delivered you from this danger Sir and all that Marry as you have done because you two are equal in all respects wherein there ought to be equality between Man and Wife and you are superior in those points you ought to be so in Eldership is a good pledge on the Husbands side to secure his Prerogative I will not stay to prescribe Remedies for preventing these dangers for it is not my design to give counsel how to chuse a Wife but how to live with her already chosen He who Marries a Young Wife has already half compassed his ends Tender Years

an Estate to gratify a Humor or please their Appetite Not only great Ladies are subject to this Folly for in them it is less dangerous and therefore more excusable but even very ordinary People When I was at Madrid there came to the House where I lay a Labourers Wife begging very earnestly they would lend her twelve Royals upon a pair of Sheets and being asked What was her great want she answered Good Lord Gentlemen I haue agreed for half a dozen of Jet-hands they are Baubles usually hung about Childrens Neck to preserve them from ill Eyes as they say and if I miss of them now I know not when they may be had again Such a fancy if not customary is the more tolerable It is more excusable in Youth in a Married Woman less to be born Let every Woman consider the World is greater than her Appetite that she may not pretend to want all she sees and hears God deliver us from those who verify that Proverb My Daughters Eyes cover all she Spies These VVomen must be put in mind they are first to have regard to their Duty next to Temperance and after these may be allowed to look to their Pleasure What shall I say of those wilful VVomen who will be positive and absolute in their Opinions these for the most part are either very Foolish or very Proud I cannot allow of arguing with a VVife for this is granting them an equality of Judgment and Authority which must be carefully avoided She must be made sensible it is not her part to understand but to obey and to be lead not to lead Let her sometimes be put in mind that having in Marriage resigned her VVill to her Husband it is now a Crime to make use of what is not her own There is no doubt my Author has incurred the displeasure of all the Female Sex by seeming to debar them the handling and disposing of Money which they esteem●s an essential part of their Perogative and not without reason yet in this point as well as others I think him no way meritorious of their Censure he speake of prodigal Women such as have no regard to the welfare of Husband and Family so they gratify their own profuse appetite Such Wives cannot certainly be too severely Curb'd We think it not strange that Children and Fools should have Tutors or Keepers and be debarred the extravagant use of Money Why then if a Marry'd Woman still continues in her Minority and never recovers Sense enough to moderate her Expences shall not a Husband take upon him to be her Guardian her Tutor and her Keeper I Knew a Lady who having wasted her Husband's Estate and drown'd his Credit by Gaming was still so fond of that destructive Devil she would play with her Servants and lose her wearing Apparel I have seen another Pawn her Husband's Cloaths to appear Splendid abroad and even her own Gown to go to a Play What Restraint what Rigor is too great for such Monsters as these But on the other side to deprive a Prudent VVoman from having a hand in the Purse I look upon it not only as unkind but inhuman VVe trust our Children our Friends our Servants nay often Strangers and shall we refuse to trust our second Selves VVe trust a VVife with our Life our Content and wha● is most our Honour and shall we refuse to trust her with our Estates I● is an absurd Abuse to make a Settlement on the VVife for Cloaths for idle Expences to make her Presents to Limit her to an Allowance and ye● all this passes with the Ignorant for Kindness These Methods are prope● for a Mistress who may be turn'd of at pleasure and therefore must only be fed and not enrich'd A VVife should have all at Command she should be under no confinement al● the Husband has should be her's without reserve he has given Himself to her and he who gives himself reserves nothing This must be understood of a Prudent VVoman she must covet nothing above her Fortune and Quality and he must oppose nothing that is suitable to both No Restraint is too great for an Extravagant and no Liberty too much for a discreet VVoman All these Faults are nothing in comparison of Lightness and Immodesty I dare not speak it out because I find not a Word decent enough to express it There is a sort of vain loose and faithless VVomen that are led away by every VVind that blows and this is the greatest of all other Evils I will not Discourse of it for it is needless to assign any Remedy in that case Let every Man's Honour and Conscience be his Counseller under these Unhappy Circumstances An Ingenious Man very VVittily determined this Point in few words thus Let the Husband take all things from his Wife but wrongs of Honour and the Wife Marriage Wrongs and all Yet I must observe it is of dangerous consequence to allow of that Pretence of their's That there is no harm in VVit and Gallantry This is a Practice brought up to Disguise Leudness and no way Justifiable It is usual to make way with a Gimlet before we drive a Nail no Vice takes possession on the Soul all at once That Insect which in Brasil causes Sickness may serve as an Example to all the VVorld It enters invisibly is at first but a Pastime grows troublesom passes to be a Disease and may prove dangerous A VVomans Honour may be compared to Arithmetick it is as bad to be out in one as in a Thousand Let Honest VVomen Ballance their Accounts and they will find this a sure Reckoning Custom in Spain and some other Countries has made it safe for a Man to Kill his VVife if she is false to him the Law is not positive for it but the Practice is frequent and tolerated The Law of God does not allow it yet we find the Levitical ordains a VVoman Convicted of Adultery to be Ston'd to Death by the People The Husband is not here allow'd to be Judge and Executioner in his own Cause but yet Death we see is the Punishment of that Crime If the Law of the Land did allow it I believe it were no Offence then before God for the Husband to be the Executioner for since God adjudged the Crime to deserve Death it is doubtless indifferent who Executes the Sentence If this power were Invested in the Husband the terror of it would prevent much scandalous lewdness which now Triumphs barefac'd No Advice can be given to a Man under this most Unhappy Circumstance He must summon all his Discretion and all his Resolution he must Steer steadily between Honour and Conscience and let them both direct his Actions That most pernicious Liberty Women pretend to of Wit and Rallery ought by all Men of Sence to be carefully cut off as infamous and abominable It is either a Disguise or Introduction to Lewdness and Debauchery The Woman that haunts the Doors of Chocolate-Houses in a Hackney-Coach

Point However the Husbands are obliged to bring them to what is reasonable and perswade them it is fit they take their Advice upon whom it lyes to look to their Honour and Reputation Yet if all his Care and Industry should fail of Success I would not advise a Man to fall out with his VVife because she is at Variance with another In fine Sir when I began to write to you my Design was not to exceed the Bounds of a Letter and I have run on to a Volume I am naturally apt to be particular and tedious Melancholy and Solitude which stir up Thought have made me take in so great a Compass that it might contain all Cases and all Rules I pray God we have not laboured in vain which would come to pass if you having heard and I said much neither of us should reap any Advantage of it I will conclude with those general Heads which in my Opinion make up the Grandeur of a House which shall be an Epitome of much that might be said in relation to each Point I am sensible when I shall be read by some Married People and particularly by those that are about being such they will judge this Way thro' which I pretend to lead them to Quiet and Ease very terrible For they will say it is so covered with the Thorns of Precaution and Circumspection that the Theory is difficult and much more the Practice of it To this I Answer that this Letter may be compared to the Sea-Carts which are so full of Lines that those who do not understand them think it impossible ever to unravel that Confusion and yet it is not so for most of those Lines are the same the Principal not being above Four which are so often multiplied and repeated to make the Use of the Cart the easier VVhosoever considers this variety of Counsels will find them so like and to have such connexion and dependance one upon another that he will not think they are many but one continued And because we see a Line that is made of a few Threads if hard drawn is easily broke therefore it is requisite to compose of many Counsels and Rules this Line on which hangs the Life Honour and Salvation of Married People that the force of Vice may not break it And again because it always breaks in the weakest Place and this is natural to the VVomen therefore it is necessary so to strengthen her with Industry and Art that tho' opportunity should draw never so hard she may still remain VVhole and Entire But if after all this Doctrine should be judged by the VVomen too Rigid and Austere I do assure them I designed it not so but rather to direct all things for their Satisfaction Service and Reputation That this may more manifestly appear let any desire me to write a Letter of Instructions for the Married VVomen and they shall see what I say in their behalf if they are not satisfied with what I have said to the Husbands Sir A clean House a neat Table decent Diet Attendance without Noise good Servants One to direct them VVages duly paid a Coach upon occasion a fat Horse much Silver less Gold some Jewels as much Money as may be all Utensils store of Furniture the best of Pictures some Books a few Arms a House of your own a little Country-House Prayers at Home much Alms few Neighbours Children not pampered good Order in all things a Vertuous VVife and a Christian-like Husband make Life pleasant and Death happy D. Francisco Manuel A LETTER Written by D. Antonio de Guevara Bishop of MONDOÑEDO PREACHER HISTORIOGRAPHER And of the COUNCIL to the Emperour Charles V. To Mosen Puche of Valencia touching the Behaviour of a Man towards his Wife and a Woman towards her Husband Young and New Married Gentleman AT this Distance I give Joy and Congratulate Mosen Puche Marrying D. Marina Gralla and D. Marina Gralla being Married to Mosen Puche and pray to God they may enjoy one another many Years Mosen Puche marrying a Wife of Fifteen Years of Age and D. Marina Gralla a Husband of Seventeen if I am not deceived they are like to have time enough to enjoy and even to lament their Marriage Solon advised the Athenians not to Marry till they were Twenty Years of Age. The good Lycurgus ordered the Lacedemonians not to Wed till Twenty five The Philosopher Prometheus forbad the Egyptians taking Wives before Thirty and in case any presumed to Marry sooner he commanded they should be publickly Punished and their Children reputed Illegitimate Were Mosen Puche and D. Marina Gralla Egyptians as they are of Valencia they would not escape being punished and their Children disinherited The Kindness I received from your Mother and the Love I bore your Father when I was Inquisitor at Valencia move me to compassionate your being Married so Young and your taking so great a Burden upon you for it is now too late for you to cast off the heavy Yoak of Matrimony and you are not of Age to bear it If your Father Married you he treated you Barbarously and if you Married without his leave you are guilty of a great Weakness for it is a rashness in a Youth of Seventeen and a Girl of Fifteen to presume to set up House and it is want of Sense in others to be consenting to it The poor Young Couple are not sensible how heavy a Yoak they take upon them nor how much Liberty they deprive themselves of Let us see what Qualifications are requisite in the Wife and what in the Husband to make them happy and if they are to be found in Mosen Puche and D. Marina Gralla I do henceforth approve their Marriage and own I know not what I say The Properties of a good Wife are That she carry her self with Gravity Abroad have Wisdom to govern her House Patience to bear with her Husband Tenderness to breed her Children Courtesy to deal with her Neighbours Industry to manage her Expence that she have much regard to her Honour love good Company and be an Enemy to all Youthful Follies The Properties of a good Husband are That he be sober in Speaking easy in Discourse faithful where he is Entrusted discreet in giving Counsel careful of providing his House diligent in looking after his Estate prudent in bearing the Importunities of his Wife zealous of the Education of his Children vigilant in what relates to his Honour and very stayed in all his Behaviour Let me ask now Whether we shall find all these Qualifications in Mosen Puche at Seventeen and D. Marina Gralla at Fifteen years of Age or whether ever they so much as thought of them It is much to be feared that such a Young Couple neither understand these nice Points when told them nor know where to be informed when they find themselves defective VVell I do avouch and prophesy That if Mosen Puche now at Seventeen and D. Marina Gralla at Fifteen Years of Age will not