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A10407 The jealous lovers A comedie presented to their gracious Majesties at Cambridge, by the students of Trinity-Colledge. Written by Thomas Randolph, Master of Arts, and fellow of the house. Randolph, Thomas, 1605-1635. 1632 (1632) STC 20692; ESTC S115594 55,246 102

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Sim. I ha' no words but these To thank you with Ball. This is true Rhetorick SCEN. IIII Asotus Ballio Bomolochus Chaerilus Thrasymachus Hyperbolus Simo in angulis Asot. COme forth my Rascalls Let the thriving Lord Confine his family unto half a man I cleept a Page Our honour be attended With men of arts and arms Captain and Poets Shall with the Bilbow blade and Gray goose quill Grace our Retinue And when we grow surly Valour and wit fall prostrate at our frown Crouch imps of Mars and frogs of Helicon Sim. How they adore him and the perilous wagge Becomes his state To see what wealth can do To those that have the blessing how to spend it Ball. Your blessing was the wealth the art of spending He had from me Sim. Once more I give thee thanks Thras. Who dares offend thee Lord of fortitude And not pay homage to thy potent toe Shall be a morsell for the dogs Asot. Stoutly deliver'd My brave Thrasymachus Thou for this shalt feed I will not suffer valour to grow lean And march like famine I have seen an army Of such a meagre troop such thin-chapt starvelings Their barking stomacks hardly could refrain From swallowing up the foe ere they had slain him Hyper. If thou command our service we will die Dull earth with crimson till the teares of orphanes Widows and mothers wash it white again Wee 'le strow thy walks with legs and arms and thighes And pay thee tribute thousand heads a day Fresh bleeding from the trunck and panting hearts Not dead shall leap in thy victorious paw Asot. Then say thou too to Hunger Friend adieu Ballio condemne a bagge let trash away See 'um both arm'd in scarlet cap-a-pea Strike top-sail men of warre Ball. We must divide We that serve great men have no other shifts To thrive our selves but guelding our Lords guifts Sim. Now I am rich indeed this is true treasure Asot. Ha! has Melpomene ta'ne cold of late That you are silent my Parnassian beagles Is Clio dumbe or has Apollos Jewes-trump By sad disaster lost her melodious tongue Chaer. Your praise all tongues desire to speak but some Nay all I fear for want of art grow dumbe The harp of Orpheus blushes for to sing And sweet Amphions voice hath crack't a string Asot. A witty solecisme reward the errour harp and sing voice and string Bom. Give me a breath of thunder let me speak Sonorous accents till their clamours break Rocks with the noise obstreperous I will warble Such bounsing notes shall cleave obdurate marble Upon mount Caucasus heavens knocking head Boreas shall blow my trumpet till I spread Thy fame grand Patron of the thrice three sisters Till envies eares shall heare it and have blisters Asot. O rare close a high sublime conceit For this I 'le sheath thee in a new serge scabbard Blade of the fount Pegasean Sim. What an honour Will our bloud come to I have satisfied For all the Orphanes Widows and what others My sacred hunger hath devour'd Asot. Ballio Blesse him with twentie drachmes yet forbeare Money may spoyl his Poetry Give 's some wine Here is a whetstone both for wit and valour A health to all my beads-men of the sword Thr. Hyp. This will ingage the men of arms to fight Asot. This to the Muses and their threed-bare tribe Cher. Bom. Thou dost ingage the learned troops to write Asot. Go sonnes of Mars with young Apollos brood And usher in my Venus wine hath warm'd My bloud and wak'd it to an itch of sporting Exeunt Bom. Hyp. Chaer Thr. for to fetch in Phr. Asot. the while is putting on his armour Ball. Some twentie ages hence 't will be a question Which of the two the world will reverence more You for a thriving father or Asotus So liberall a sonne Sim. Good Ballio good But which will they preferre Ball. They cannot Sir But most admire your fist which grip'd so much That made his hand so open Sim. Gracious starres How blest shall I be twentie ages hence Some twentie ages hence Ball. You shall be call'd A doting Coxcombe twentie ages hence SCEN. III Chaerilus Bomolochus before personating 2 Mercuries Phrine in an antique robe and coronet guarded in by Hyperbolus and Thrasimachus Asot. HOw bright and glorious are the beams my starre Darts from her eye Lead up my Queen of beauty But in a softer march sound a retreat Lead on again I 'le meet her in that state The god of warre puts on when he salutes The Cyprian Queen these that were once the postures Of horrid battells are become the muster Of love and beauty Say sweet brace of Mercuries Is she th' Olympique or the Paphian goddesse Ball Where are you Sir where are you Sim. In Elysium in Elysium Chaer. This is no goddesse of th' Olympique hall Bom. Nor may you her of Neptunes issue call Chaer. For she nor Siren is nor Amphitrite Bom. Nor wood-nymph that in forrest takes delight Chaer. Nor is she Muse Bom. Nor Grace Chaer. Nor is she one of these That haunt the springs the beauteous Naiades Bom. Nor Flora Lady of the field is she Chaer. Nor bright Pomona the Orchards deitie Bom. No she is none of these Chaer. Oh then prepare To heare her blessed name Both 'T is Phryne fair Asot. Phryne the fair Oh peace if this be she Go forth and sing the world a lullabie For thy deare sake in whom is all delight I will no more the trembling nations fright With bellowing drummes and grones of slaughter'd men My father brings the golden age again Phryn. Pardon me dreadfull deitie of warre 'T was love of you that forc'd me from my sphere And made me leave my Orbe without her influence To meet you in the fury of the fight Sweating with rage and reeking in the bloud Of wretches sacrific'd to the Stygian floud Asot. Come forth thou horrid instrument of death Ball. Do you heare him Sir Sim. I to my comfort Ballio Asot. I will dispeople earth and drown the world In crimson flouds and purple deluges The old the young the weak the lusty wight Souldiers and scholars fair and foul together Men women children infants all shall die I will have none survive that shall have left Above one eye three quarters of a face And half a nose I will carve legs and arms As at a feast Henceforth to all posteritie Mankinde shall walk on crutches Phryn. Cruell Mars Let the conjunction of my milder starre Temper the too malignant force of thine The drumme the fife and trumpet shall be turn'd To lutes and citherns We will drink in helmets And cause the souldier turn his blade to knives To conquer capons and the stubble goose No weapons in the age to come be known But sword of Bacon and the shield of Brawn Daigne me a kisse great Warriour Asot. Hogsheads of Nectar Are treasur'd in the warehouse of her worth That kisse hath ransom'd thousands from the grave Phryn. Let me redeem more thousands with a second
inhabitant of the grave that had his house broke open accus'd the thief of Burglarie Look here This is a Lawyers skull There was a tongue in 't once a damnable eloquent tongue that would almost have perswaded any man to the gallows This was a turbulent busie fellow till death gave him his Quietus est And yet I ventured to rob him of his gown and the rest of his habillements to the very buckrum-bag not leaving him so much as a poore half-peny to pay for his wafrage and yet the good man ne're repin'd at it Had he been alive and were to have pleaded against me how would he have thundred it Behold most grave Judges a fact of that horrour and height in sinne so abominable so detestable in the eyes of heaven and earth that never any but this dayes cause presented to the admiration of your eares I cannot speak it without trembling 't is so new so unus'd so unheard-of a villanie But that I know your Lordships confident of the honestie of your poore Oratour I should not hope by all my reasons grounds testimonies arguments and perswasions to gain your belief This man said I man this monster rather but monster is too easie a name this devil this incarnate devil having lost all honesty and abjur'd the profession of vertue Rob'd a sinne in the action But who The dead What need I aggravate the fault the naming the action is sufficient to condemne him I say he rob'd the dead The dead Had he rob'd the living it had been more pardonable but to rob the dead of their clothes the poore impotent dead that can neither card nor spin nor make new ones O 't is most audacious and intolerable Now you have well spoke why do you not after all this Rhetorick put your hand behinde you to receive some more instructions backward Now a man may clappe you o' th' coxcombe with his spade and never stand in fear of an action of batterie Staph. For this one time husband I am induced but insooth I will not make a common practise of it Knock you up that coffin and I 'le knock up this Rich and glorious Sex Bright as the sunne Come we must strip you Gallants the worms care not for having the dishes serv'd up to their table cover'd O O O! Tyndarus and Techmessa rise from the coffins and the Sexton and his wife affrighted fall into a swoon Staph. Heaven shield me O O O! SCEN. V. Tyndarus and Techmessa Tyn. HOw poore a thing is man whom death it self Cannot protect from injuries O ye gods Is 't not enough our wretched lives are toss'd On dangerous seas but we must stand in fear Of Pyrates in the haven too Heaven made us So many buts of clay at which the gods In cruell sport shoot miseries Yet I hope Their spleen 's grown milder and this blest occasion Offers it self an earnest of their mercy Their sinnes have furnisht us with fit disguises To quiet our perplexed souls Techmessa Let me aray you in this womans robes I 'le weare the Sextons garments in exchange Our sheets and coffins shall be theirs Tech. Deare Tyndarus In all my life I never found such peace As in this coffin it presented me The sweets that death affords Man has no libèrtie But in this prison Being once lodg'd here He 's fortified in an impregnable fort Through which no doubts suspicions jealousies No sorrows cares or wilde distractions Can force an entrance to disturb our sleeps Tyn. Yet to those prisons will we now commit These two offenders Tech. But what benefit Shall we enjoy by this disguise Tyn. A great one If my Evadne or thy Pamphilus E're lov'd us living they will haste to make Atonement for our souls stain'd with the guilt Of our own bloud if not they will rejoyce Our deaths have opened them so cleare a passage To their close loves and with those thoughts possess'd They will forget the torments hell provides For those that leave the warfare of this life Without a passe from the great Generall Tech. I hope they may prove constant Tyn. So pray I I will desire you statue be so courteous To part with 's beard a while So we are now Beyond discovery Sex O O O! Staph. O O O! Tyn. Let 's use a charm for these Quiet sleep or I will make Erinnys whip thee with a snake And cruell Rhadamanthus take Thy body to the boyling lake Where fire and brimstone never slake Thy heart shall burn thy head shall ake And every joynt about thee quake And therefore dare not yet to wake Tech. Quiet sleep or thou shalt see The horrid bags of Tartarie Whose tresses ugly serpents be And Cerberus shall bank at thee And all the Furies that are three The worst is call'd Tisiphone Shall lash thee to eternitie And therefore sleep thou peacefully Tyn. But who comes hither Ballio what 's his businesse SCEN. VI. Ballio Tyndarus Techmessa Ball. SExton I 'le open first thine eares with these To make 'um sit to let perswasions in Tyn. These Sir will cure my deafnesse Ball. Art thou mine Tyn. Sir you have bought me Ball. I 'le pay double for thee Shall I prevail in my request Tyn. Ask these Ball. Th' art apprehensive to the purpose then Have you not in the temple some deep vault Ordain'd for buriall Tyn. Yes Ball. Then I proceed We have to night perform'd the last of service That piety can pay to our dead friends Tyn. 'T was charitably done Ball. We brought 'um hither To their last home Now Sir they both being guilty Of their own deaths I fear the laws of Thebes Deny 'um buriall It would grieve me Sir For friendship cannot be so soon forgot Especially so firm a one as ours To have 'um cast a prey to Wolves and Eagles Sir these religious thoughts have brought me hither Now at the dead of night to intreat you To cast their coffins into some deep vault And to interre 'um O my Tyndarus All memory shall fail me e're my thoughts Can leave th' impression of that love I beare thee Thou left'st me half of all the land thou hadst And should I not provide thee so much earth As I can measure by thy length heaven curse me Tyn. Sir if your courtesie had not bound me yours This act of goodnesse had Ball. So true a friend No age records Farewell This work succeeds Posterity that shall this story get May learn from hence an art to counterfeit Exit Ball SCEN. VII. Tyndarus Techmessa Tyn. HEre was a strange deliverance who can be So confident of fortune as to say I now am safe Tech. This villain has reveal'd All our designes to Pamphilus and Evadne And they with bribes and hopes of an inheritance If you were dead indeed have won this rascall To this black treason What foul crimes can Lust Prompt her base vassals to Here let us end Our busie search and travell o're the world To see if any cold and Northern climat Have