a Service when in Truth you do me an Injury and therefore you deserve a double Death First For the Fault it self and then for the Justification of it The Moral of the Two Fables above 'T is according to the Course of those Kind Offices in the World which we call Friendship to do one another Good for our Own Sakes REFLEXION THERE' 's nothing Commoner in this World then the Case of the Mole here and the Weazle That is to say the Case of People that Value themselves mightily upon Merit when in the mean time they do only their own Bus'ness What Virtue is it for me to do another Man good by Chance or where 's the Obligation of doing it for my own Profit 'T is the Will of a Man that qualifies the Action A Body may do me Good and yet Deserve to be Punish'd for 't He may save my Life for the purpose with an Intention to take it away There is however some Regard to be had to the very Instrument that Providence makes use of for our Advantage But this is out of a Respect to the Providence not to the Man And we are not yet come up to the Force of the Fable neither for many People have the Confidence to Plead Merit when Effectually they do us Mischief FAB CCCCXLII A Woman Cat and Mice A Good Woman that was willing to keep her Cheeses from the Mice thought to Mend the Matter by getting her a Cat. Now Puss Answer'd the Womans Intent and Expectation in keeping the Mice from Nibbling the Cheeses but she her self at the same time devour'd the Mice Cheese and all The MORAL This has been our Case within the Memory of Man There were a matter of Half a Dozen Little Roguy Political Mice lay Nibbling at our Liberties and Properties and all Peoples Mouths Open'd for the Providing of some 500 Cats to Destroy them The End on 't was this they Kill'd the Vermine but then they Gobbled up Priviledges and All And was not the World well Amended REFLEXION THE Present State of Things is best unless we may be very well Assur'd that the Danger of the Remedy is not Greater then that of the Disease Nay it so falls out many times that a Thing may be Good for the Distemper and yet Mortal to the Patient Wherefore Men should never Trouble their Heads about Innovations for slight Matters without a strict Calculation upon the Profit or Loss of the Exchange The Fancy of the Cat and Mice Points very naturally at the Case of Monarchy and Episcopacy in the Days of King Charles the First There were Grievances of all sorts Complain'd of and Popular Disputes Rais'd about Prerogative and Arbitrary Power in the pretended Favour of Liberty and Property Every thing was amiss they cry'd and nothing would serve the Turn but a General Reformation and what was the Issue at last but the Cat that should have Kill'd the Mice Eat up as the Fable says Mice Cheese and All. FAB CCCCXLIII A Man in Tears for the Loss of his Wife NEver had any Man such a Loss in a Woman certainly as I have had cries a VViddower in the Flush of his Extravagancies for a Dead Wife Never so dear a Creature Never so Miserable a Wretch And so he runs Raving on how he should Abhor the Sex it self now she is gone As he was in the Transport of his Lamentations and about half thorough the Farce he started all on a sudden and call'd out to the Woman about the Body who it seems had gotten the best Piece of Linnen in the House for a Winding Sheet Pray says he will you take another Cloth for the Present and let this be laid by for my next Wife if it should be the Lords will to have me Bury another This set the Company a Laughing for all their Sorrow to see the Good Man so soon brought to his Wits again The MORAL Funeral Tears are but Matter of Form and it is a Distinguishing Mark of Hypocrisy to take upon us to be Kind as well as to be Righteous beyond Measure But Time and Nature will bolt out the Truth of Things thorough all Disguises REFLEXION IT is Morally Impossible for an Hypocrite to keep himself long upon his Guard for the Force is Unnatural and the least Slip or Surprize either of Word Look or Action Discovers the Cheat. 'T was well enough put to a Fellow under the same Circumstances by a Friend of his when he saw nothing else would Comfort him Come says he after all this Roaring and Tearing what Boot at last betwixt my Warm Wife and thy Cold one Which may serve for a Notable Moral of Consolation in some Cases Witness the Gentleman that try'd both Fortunes in one and the same Woman His Wife was given over and himself waiting in the next Room with the Rage and Impatience of a Mad-man for fear of Ill News when at last in comes one of the Nurses to him with the Dismal Tydings that my Poor Lady was Dead and had been now Stone Cold for at least a Quarter of an Hour My Dear Wife Dead says he Nay we 'll never part sure and so with a Thousand Frantick Exclamations he strips immediately and to Bed to her he goes takes her into his Arms and there Treats her with all the Tender Passionate Things that a Well-acted Love and Desparation could put into his Mouth Winding up all in fine with this Resolution that he would never forsake her but they must Live and Dye together Let this Instance serve for a Caution to People how they Play with Edge Tools for this Fooling brought the Woman to Life 〈◊〉 and turn'd the Jest into Earnest Nay the Man Himself took it for a Warning too for from that time to the Hour of her Death which was near Seven Year after he never came betwixt a pair of Sheets with her But to conclude all in a Word happy is the Man considering the Hazzards of Conjugal Disagreements Ungracious Children None at all or the Loss of them and Twenty other common Circumstances that in a Marry'd State has the good Fortune to make a Saving Game on 't FAB CCCCXLIV A Rich Man that would be no Richer THere was a Huge Rich Man that could neither Eat nor Sleep for fear of Losing his Mony The whole Entertainment of his Life was Vision and Phantome Thieves Earthquakes Inundations nothing in short came amiss to him that was Possible Dangerous and Terrible In this Torment of a Restless Imagination he call'd a Begger to him told him his Case and now says he I must send you presently of an Errand to Fortune Go your ways to her immediately you 'll find her in Iapan and desire her from me that for the future she 'll never Trouble her self further upon any Accompt of mine for I am absolutely resolv'd never to touch Penny of her Mony more Be gone this very Moment and I 'll give you a Hundred Crowns for your Pains Why truly
Attempt Contributed or not to the Emprovement of these Fables either in the Wording or in the Meaning of them the Book must Stand or Fall to it self But this I shall Adventure to Pronounce upon the whole Matter that the Text is English and the Morals in some sort Accommodate to the Allegory which could hardly be said of All the Translations or Reflexions before-mention'd which have serv'd in truth or at least some of them rather to teach us what we should Not do then what we should So that in the Publishing of these Papers I have done my Best to Obviate a Common Inconvenience or to speak Plainly the Mortal Error of pretending to Erect a Building upon a False Foundation Leaving the whole World to take the same Freedom with Me that I have done with Others Provided that they do not Impute the Faults and the Mis-Pointings of the Press to the Author and that they Consult the Errata for other Mistakes AN Alphabetical Table Referring to the NUMBER of the Respective FABLES A  FAB ANT and Fly 34 Ant and Pigeon 203 Ant and Grasshopper 217 Ant formerly a Man 188 Ape wanting a Tayl and Fox 51 Ape and Fox King 116 Ape and two Brats 248 Apes Dancing 375 Ape and Dolphin 169 Ape and Mountebank 397 Ape Iudge Fox and Wolfe 415 Ape and Lyon in 's Kingdom 416 Apes Kingdom 413 Apples and Horse-Turds 134 Arion and a Dolphin 382 Aristotles Tyrant 189 Ass and Lyon Hunting 7 Ass Braying and Lyon 10 Ass and Whelp 15 Ass and Mastiffe 191 Ass and Ungrateful Masteâ—… 24 Ass Ape and Mole 26 Ass and Wolfe 36 Ass and Pamper'd Horse 38 Ass Laden and Horse 63 Ass Lyon and Fox Hunting 206 Ass to Iupiter 208 Ass in a Lyons Skin 224 Ass and Two Travellers 376 Ass and Country-man Alarum 262 Ass puts in for an Office 306 Ass Sick and Wolfe 314 Asses Wish 317 Ass Green and a Widow 332 Ass Lyon and Hare 346 Ass Lyon and Cock 150 Ass Wild and Tame 190 Assâ—…s to Iupiter 191 Ass and Frogs 192 Ass Gall'd and Raven 193 Ass Lyon and Fox Treachery 194 Ass and Old Man 358 Ass to be Taught Grammar 263 Asses and Country-man 372 Ass Lyon and Wolves 396 Two Asses Laden with Salt and Sponge 408 Ass Iudge of Musick 414 Asses Two Laden Oats and Money 417 Ass Challeng'd by a Boar. 418 Ass and Shadow 421 Asses Skin 437 Ass carrying an Image 487 Astrologer and Traveller 94 B.  FAB Bat and Weazle 39 Bat Birds and Beasts 40 Bat Bramble and Cormorant 144 Belly and Members 50 Bear and Two Friends 227 Beasts and Fishes League 274 Bear and Bees 290 Three Things better for Beating 316 Bever Hunted 89 Bee-Master 166 Bee went over to the Drones 461 Bees and Drones 474 Birds and Beetles 289 Bitches Bed-maker 463 Bitch ready to Puppy 323 Bishop and Curate 356 Blackbird afraid of a Kite 409 Bladder with Beans 423 Blinkard Buying of Wheat 371 Washing a Black-a-more 159 Boar and Horse 56 Boy and False Alarums 74 Boy and Fortune 233 Boy and Thief 241 Boy and Goldfinch 295 Boy and his Mother 98 Boy and Snake 131 Boy and Cockles 163 Boys and Frogs 398 Boy would not learn his Book 454 Boar and Fox 319 Brother and Sister 473 Bustard and Cranes 212 Bull and Goat 218 Bull and Mouse 245 Bull and Ram. 331 Bull and Gnat. 450 C.  FAB Cat and Cock 2 Cat and Venus 61 Cat and Mice Dissembling 318 Cat Counterfeiting and Mice 115 Case of Conscience at Play 498 Camel at first Sight 70 Camel praying for Horns 78 Capons Fat and Lean. 264 Cardinal and an Old Friend 276 Christian and Pagan 362 Cock and Diamond 1 Cock and a Fox Case 400 Cock and Horses 439 Cocks and Patridge 84 Cock and Two Young Men. 58 Collier and Fuller 64 Country-man and Sâ—…e Frâ—…en 9 Country-man Snake and Child 30 Country-man and Fortune 231 Country-man and an Oxe 242 Country-man and a Boar. 244 Country-man and Hercules 246 Country-man and Hawk 257 Country-man and River 259 Country-man and Mouse 280 Country-man and Kid. 340 Country-fellow Climbing a Tree 369 Country-man and Hog 360 Country-man and Iupiter 460 Country-man and Panther 490 Covetous Man and an Envious 238 Covetous Embassador 275 Counsel of Birds for Chusing Kings 309 Cockle and Iupiter 322 Corrupt Officer 344 Cocks Fighting 123 Cock and Fox Peace 353 Counsel of Beasts 399 Cobler turn'd Doctor 401 Cobler and Financier 40â—… Country-fellow and a River Running 422 Consultation about securing a Town 448 Crow and Mustle 12 Crow and Pitcher 239 Crow and Raven foreboding 178 Crow and Dog 179 Crow and Raven 462 Crab Old and Young 221 Crows and Pigeons 386 Cuckow and Hawk 261 Cunning Woman 93 Cuckow and Little Birds 419 D.  FAB Daw and Borrow'd Feathers 33 Daw and Pigeons 181 Daw with a String at 's Foot 182 Demades the Orator 253 One willing to put off Death 350 Death and an Old Man 113 Devil Refus'd to Marry 459 Demetrius and Menander 447 Dog and Shadow 6 Dog and Thief 21 Dog Old and his Master 25 Dog Sheep and Wolfe 29 Dog and Butcher 59 Dog in a Manger 76 Dog with a Bell. 226 Dog and Lyon 250 Dog run away from his Master 288 Dog Invited to Supper 106 Dog and a Wolfe 119 Dog and Cock on a Iourney 143 Dog Trusty and his Master 464 Dog and his Master 484 One Bit by a Dog 88 Dog and Cat. 488 Dogs and a Raw Hide 420 Dogs Town and Country 284 Dr. and Patient All 's well 95 Dr. and Patient sore Eyes 114 Drs. and a Sheep 485 Dr. Vint'ner and Botcher 494 Droll and a Bishop 296 Droll and a Crooked Old Man 277 E.  FAB Eagle and Arrow 48 Eagle and Fox 72 Eagle and Daw. 75 Eagle and Owl 214 Eagle and Tortoise 220 Eagle and Beetle 378 Eagle and Pye 279 Eagle and Rabbets 333 Eagle and Man 107 Eagle Cat and Snow 403 Eagle sets up for a Beauty 445 Eagle and Leveret 483 Eele and Snake 271 Enemies Two at Sea 91 Estritch Birds and Beasts 41 F.  FAB Father and his Sons Unity 62 Father and Sons Industry 108 Farmer and his Dogs 69 Fawn and Stag. 124 Farmer and his Servant 170 Fisherman with Little Fish 216 Fishermans Good Luck 110 Fishermen Disappointed 112 One at a Fish-Dinner 407 Fisherman and Pipe 109 Fishing in Troubled Waters 168 Fir and Bramble 237 Fishes and Frying-Pan 273 Fig-Tree and Thorn 466 Fly upon a Wheel 270 Flea and Man 139 Flea and Hercules 140 Florentine and Horse-Courser 361 Flattery No Law against it 480 Fox and Lyon 13 Fox and Stork 31 Fox and Carv'd Head 32 Fox and Sick Lyon 54 Fox and Weazle 55 Fox and Lyon first fight 71 Fox and Hare to Iupiter 79 Fox and Leopard 252 Fox and Worm 225 Fox and Cat. 374 Fox and Hedge-Hog 254 Fox and Gossips 263 Fox and Sick Cock 315 Fox and Hare 325 Fox Praising Hares Flesh. 338 Fox and Goat 83
Three FABLES above There needs no more than Impudence and Ignorance on the One Side and a Superstitious Credulity on the Other to the Setting up of a Fortune Teller REFLEXION THIS serves for a Reproof to the Ignorance and Confidence of Figure-Flingers Starr-Gazers that pretend to Foretell the Fortunes of Kingdoms and States and yet have no Foresight at all in what concerns Themselves The Moral of these Fables strikes upon rhe Vanity and Arrogance of Empyricks and Impostors Themselves and upon the Folly of the Fond Believers of them The Caution holds also against Unlawful Curiosities Sickly and Superstitious Fancyes and Dreams Fore-bodings of Ill Luck as the Crossing of a Hare the Spilling of Salt c. This Humour let it look never so Little and Silly as it passes many times only for Frolique and Banter is One yet of the most Pernicious Snares in Humane Life when it comes once to get Possession and to Gain Credit Especially among Women and Children where the Imagination is strong in the One and the Disposition as Plyant as Wax for any Impression in the other Wherefore of All Things in This World Care is to be Taken that they get not a Hankering after These Iuggling Astrologers Gypsies Wizzards Fortune-Tellers Conjurers Quacks Cunning Women c. To say Nothing of the Fooleries of Fortune-Books and a Hundred other Vulgar Wayes of Enquiry into the Event of Amours Marriages Life and Death Travel Play or the like which is all but a Tincture of the same Capital Infirmity If these Pretenders were not better Supported by the Simplicity and Devotion of the Inquisitive Fooles that Consult Those Oracles then they are by any Congruity of Premisses and Conclusion or by the Ordinary Way of Tracing Causes into their Effects the Trade would not find 'em Bread for there 's No Proportion at all betwixt the Meanes and the End Not but that the Things they seem to Predict come many times to pass Yet still the nearer the Mark in their Conjectures the more suspicious is the Profession on the One Hand and the more Dangerous is the Credulity on the Other For Those People that take upon them to Resolve such Doubts Scruples and Difficulties as are not to be known by any Natural Process of Reasoning and those Men that will be Prying by Unwarrantable and Forbidden Ways into the Secret Councels of Almighty God are Both Justly Punish'd The One in Telling the Truth and the Other in Hearing it for it Hardens the One in his Confidence and Presumption and the Other in his Curiosity and Superstition Over and above the Feats that are done by Confederacy and Intelligence for how shall any man pretend to tell Me my Fortune that knows nothing of his Own There are Mountebanks and Smatterers also in State as well as in Science Nay and perchance the Vainer the more Ignorant and the more Mischievous of the Two for All These Fables are Moraliz'd in History Practice and Conversation and the Fiction Match'd at least if not Out-done in Matter of Fact And These Ordinary Hocuses have been made use of in All Ages too as Tools of State sometimes For the Government Other-while Against it as the Occasion lay Fairest for the Game that was then a Playing It goes a great Way when Natural Curiosity Vulgar Prejudice and an Artificial Application of Actives to Passives shall be Assisted with the Shams of Astrological Iudgments and Calculations over and above though with our Conjurers here their Ignorance and Presumption lays them Open in the Conclusion to the Scorns and Contempt of the Common People FAB XCV A Doctor and his Patient PRay Sir How d' ye Find your self says the Dr. to his Patient Why truly says the Patient I have had a Violent Sweat Oh the Best Sign in the World quoth the Dr. And then a little while after he is at it again with a Pray How d' ye find your Body Alas says the T' other I have just now such a Terrible Fit of Horror and Shaking upon me Why this is all as it should be says the Physician It shews a Mighty Strength of Nature And then he comes over him a Third time with the same Question again Why I am all swell'd says T' other as if I had a Dropsy Best of All quoth the Doctor and goes his Way Soon after This comes one of the Sick Man's Friends to him with the same Question how he felt himselfe why truly so Well says he that I am e'en ready to Dye of I know not how many Good Signs and Tokens The MORAL A Death bed Flattery is the Worst of Treacheries REFLEXION THIS gives us to Understand the Practice of the World and that Flattery and Time-serving Enters into the most Solemn Offices of Mankind To Flatter Foolish Men into a Hope of Life where there is None at all is much the same Thing with Betraying people into an Opinion that they are in a Virtuous and a Happy State when they are Over-run with Passion and Drown'd in their Lusts. The One has the same Pernicious Effect upon our Minds that the Other has upon our Bodies for it makes us Careless of Both. There are Certain Decencies of Form and Civility 't is true that purely regard Matters of Conversation and Good Manners And These Respects ought to be Preserv'd But Ceremonies of Mode and Complement are mightily out of Season when Life and Salvation come to be at Stake It falls under the Prospect of the same Topique to Consider that Kingdoms and Common-Wealths have their Distempers Intermissions and Paroxisms as well as Natural Bodies And that a Glavering Councel is as Dangerous on the One hand as a Wheedling Priest or a Flattering Physician is on the Other There is hardly such Another Pest in a Community as a Consort of Parasites that feed Governours with False Representations and Reports of Men and of Things They First Betray their Masters to Dishonour and Ruine and then when they find the Vessel Sinking Save themselves in the Long Boat So much the Better quoth the Doctor Ay Ay says the Empirical Statesman That 's as we 'd have it When at the same time the Distemper is as Mortal to the Government on the One hand as to the Patient on the Other FAB XCVI A Fowler and a Black-Bird AS a Fowler was Bending his Net a Black-Bird call'd to him at a distance and Ask'd him what he was a doing Why says he I am laying the Foundations of a City and so the Birdman drew out of Sight The Black-Bird Mistrusting Nothing flew presently to the Bait in the Net and was taken and as the Man came running to lay hold of her Friend says the Poor Black-Bird If This be Your Way of Building You 'l have but Few Inhabitants The MORAL There is no Sham so Gross but it will pass upon a Weak Man that is Pragmatical and Inquisitive REFLEXION THIS is to Intimate that where Rulers lay Snares deal Falsely and Exercise Cruelty All goes to
Stork A Stork that was Present at the Song of a Dying Swan told her 't was contrary to Nature to Sing so much out of Season and Ask'd her the Reason of it Why says the Swan I am now Entering into a State where I shall be no longer in Danger of either Snares Guns or Hunger and who would not joy at such a deliverance The MORAL Death is but the Last Farewell to All the Difficulties Pains and Hazzards of Life REFLEXION 'T IS a Great Folly to Fear that which it is Impossible to Avoid and it is yet a Greater Folly to Fear the Remedy of All Evils For Death Cures All Diseases and Frees us from All Cares It is as Great a Folly again not to Prepare our selves and Provide for the Entertainment of an Inevitable fate We are as sure to go Out of the World as we are that ever we came In to 't and Nothing but the Conscience of a Good Life can Support us in That Last Extremity The Fiction of a Swan's Singing at her Death does in the Moral but Advise and Recommend it to us to make ready for the Chearful Entertainment of our Last Hour and to Consider with our Selves that if Death be so Welcome a Relief even to Animals barely as a Deliverance from the Cares Miseries and Dangers of a Troublesome Life how much a Greater Blessing ought All Good Men to Account it then that are not only Freed by it from the Snares Difficulties and Distractions of a Wicked World but put into Possession over and above of an Everlasting Peace and the Fruition of Joys that shall never have an End FAB CCLXVIII The Inconsolable Widow THere was a Poor Young Woman that had brought her self e'en to Death's door with Grief for her Sick Husband but the Good Man her Father did All he could to Comfort her Come Child says he We are all Mortal Pluck up a Good Heart my Girl for let the Worst come to the Worst I have a Better Husband in store for thee when This is gone Alas Sir says she what d' ye talk of Another Husband for why you had as good have Struck a Dagger to my Heart No No If ever I think of Another Husband may Without any more ado the Man dies and the Woman Immediately breaks out into such Transports of Tearing her Hair and Beating her Breast that Every body thought she 'd have run Stark-Mad upon 't But upon second Thoughts she Wipes her Eyes Lifts 'em up and cries Heaven's Will be done and then turns to her Father Pray Sir says she About T'other Husband you were speaking of Is he here in the House The MORAL This Fable gives us to Understand that a Widows Tears are quickly Dry'd up and that it is not Impossible for a Woman to Out-live the Death of her Husband And after All the Outrages of her Funeral Sorrow to Propose to her self many a Merry Hour in the Arms of a Second Spouse REFLEXION HERE 's the Figure of a Worldly Sorrow and of a Worldly Love drawn to the Life from the Heart and Humour of a Right Worldly Woman Hypocrisie Out-does the Truth in Grief as well as in Religion 'T is too Fierce and Noisie to be Natural but the Ostentation supplies the Place of the Duty If the Wives Transports had not been Counterfeit they would have been as Certain Death as the Husbands Disease For Flesh and Blood is not able to Bear up under so Intolerable a Weight It is in short only the Acting a Part not the Discharge of a Flowing Passion she takes the Hint Plays her Roll Cries out her Set-Time and when the Farce is over betakes herself from her Infirmity to her Philosophy not forgetting the Politique Part all this while of making her Mourning for One Husband Prologue to the Drawing-on of Another And This is not the Poor Woman's Case Alone but many a Poor Man's too for the Extravagance holds for a Sick Wife as well as for a Sick Husband 'T is Custom Practice and Good Manners in fine that in a Great Measure Rules This Affair People Proportion their Griefs to their Hopes and their Tears to their Legacies There is as much a Fashion in the Mourning Face as in the Mourning Dress and our very Looks must be in Mode as well as Our Cloaths This Hint Minds me of a Pleasant Droll of a Painter to an Honourable Lady of My Acquaintance that was sitting for her Picture Madam says he will your Ladyship be pleas'd to have your Lip drawn as they Wear 'em now It is a Notable Part of Good Breeding to know When and How and how Much and how Long to Cry and Every Thing must be done too as they do it Now. I speak This as to the Method of a Widows Lamentations But when the Husband 's Dead the Play is Done and then it comes to the Old Bear-Garden Case when the Bull had Toss'd a Poor Fellow that went to save his Dog There was a mighty Bussle about him with Brandy and Other Cordials to bring him to Himself again but when the College found there was no Good to be done on 't Well Go thy ways Iacques says a Jolly Member of That Society There 's the Best Backsword-Man in the Field gone Come Play Another Dog The Sick Husband here wanted for neither Slops nor Doctors and Every Thing was in a Hurry too in Both Places Alike The Man Dies and the Woman Bethinks her self Well says she There 's the Best Husband Gone that ever Woman had to do withal But Pray Sir is T'other Husband in the House that you were speaking of What is all This now but directly to the Tune of the Butcher's Backsword-Man and Playing Another Dog FAB CCLXIX A Wench Parting with her Sweet-heart A Common Wench was Wringing her Hands and Crying her self to death almost and what was the Bus'ness forsooth but she had Newly Parted with her Sweet-heart Away ye Fool you says One of her Neighbors to Torment your self out of your Life for such a Fellow as This Nay says the Lass I am not so much Troubled at Parting with the Man but he has Carry'd away his Coat too and truly when he had given me All he had in the World beside methinks I might e'en have had That too as well as All the Rest. The MORAL Here 's a Mercenary Prostitute Drawn to the very quick that lays her Profit more to Heart then her Love REFLEXION IT seldom falls out that a Common Mistress troubles her Head much with Particular Inclinations though there are some Mercenaries so Generous yet in the Way of their Profession that rather then not Trade at all they 'll Trade to Loss But This was not the Case of the Sorrowful Wight here in the Fable Her Trouble was the Loss of the Coat not the Loss of the Man 'T is the same Thing with Cheats and Sharpers that 't is with Whores and the same Humour in short that we find in All Humane Beasts
and Palaces that were Built upon the Banks of it purely for the Pleasure of the Scituation And then for the General Satisfaction in fine that it Yielded to Mankind in the Matter both of Convenience and Delight Whereas says the River the Fountain passes Obscurely through the Caverns of the Earth lies Bury'd up in Moss and comes Creeping into the World as if it were asham'd to shew the Head The Fountain took the Insolence and the Vanity of This Reproach so Heinously that it presently Choak'd-up the Spring and Stopt the Course of its Waters Insomuch that the Channel was immediately dry'd up and the Fish left Dead and Stinking in the Mud as a Just Judgement upon the Stream for Derogating from the Original and Author of All the Blessings it Enjoy'd The MORAL He that Arrogates any Good to Himself detracts from the Author of all the Good he Enjoys REFLEXION THERE are too many People in the World of the Humour of This River that Assume to Themselves what they receive from others without ever so much as Thinking of the Heavenly Goodness that is the Author of Life it self and of all the Blessings that Crown the Comfort of it This Fable is a kind of an Expostulatory Debate bewixt Bounty and Ingratitude betwixt the Divine Goodness and the Vain Glorious Pride of Corrupt Nature And the Iniquity of our Proceeding is much the Same both towards God and Man We are readier to Claim to ourselves then to Ascribe to Others and most Dangerously given to Mistake the Gratuitous Blessings of Heaven for the Fruits of our Own Industry and Vertue The Fountain of all Goodness and of all Good Things is God Blessed for ever But in the Dispensation of his Mercies to the World some things he does by Himself others by the Intervention of Natural Means and by the Mediation of such Instruments as he has appointed for the Conveying of Those Benefits to us According to this Order Kings are by Deputation the Fountains of Honour and Preferment And we find Men as Backward every Jot to Acknowledge Temporal as they are to Acknowledge Spiritual Gifts and Bounties So that we have Thankless Favourites as well as Graceless Christians What a Babel do they make now of the Nature of Things rather then Own the Course of Providence in the Distribution of them Insomuch that the Faculties that were given us for the Glory and Service of our Master as well as for the Comfort of our Lives and the Salvation of our Souls are turn'd Point Blank against the very Reason and Intention of them Sharpness of Wit is Emprov'd to the Dishonour of Him that Gave it Atheism and Blasphemy Dress'd up like a Science and the Understanding that was given us for the Finding out of the Truth is Employ'd upon Paradoxing and Ridiculing it They Value themselves with the River upon a Conceit that the Fish the Beauty the Conveniency is All their Own And what is All This now but either to Disclaim the Original or to Defame it That 's Obscure they say Neglected Over-grown and either Not taken Notice of or not Found And what 's the Isâ—…ue now of This Vanity and Distraction A Judgment Treads upon the Heel on 't for Providence stops the Current lays the Channel Open and Exposes it to Detestation and Scorn in all its Filthiness FAB CCCVIII A Wicked Man and the Devil A Notorious Malefactor that had Committed I know not how many Villanies and run through the Discipline of as many Goals made a Friend of the Devil to help him out in all his Distresses This Friend of his brought him off many and many a time and still as he was Taken up again and again he had his Recourse over and over to the same Devil for succour But upon his Last Summons the Devil came to him with a Great Bag of Old Shoes at his Back and told him Plainly Friend says he I 'm at the End of my Line and can Help ye No longer I have beat the Hoof till I have Worn out all These Shoes in Your Service and not One Penny left me to Buy more So that you must e'en Excuse Me if I drop ye here The MORAL The Devil helps his Servants for a Season but when they come once to a Pinch he leaves 'em in the Lurch REFLEXION WICKEDNESS may Prosper for a while but at the Long Run He that sets All Knaves at Work will most certainly Pay them their Wages The Man pays Dear for his Protection that Pawns his Soul for 't And it may be Another Observation that the Devil Himself will not Work without Money FAB CCCIX A Counsel of Birds for Chusing more Kings THE Birds were Mightily Possess'd with an Opinion that it was utterly Impossible for the Eagle alone to Administer Equal Justice to All her Subjects And upon This Ground there was a Motion put up for Changing the Monarchy into a Republique But an Old Cunning Crow that saw further into a Millstone then his Neighbours with One Word of his Mouth Dash'd the Project The More Kings you Have says he the more Sacks there are to be Fill'd And so the Debate fell The MORAL The Common People Hate All Government and when they are Sick of it in One Form they Fly to Another but still they rather Incline to That which they Phansy Easiest to Themselves REFLEXION THIS Emblem Insinuates a Government by One to be less Burdensome then a Government by Many And it is well enough Adapted to a Profitable Allegory The Multitude of Birds are Impos'd upon that One Monarch is not sufficient for the Discharge of the Office and therefore there 's a Motion put up for the Erecting of More Kings for Why say they should so many Millions of Men be Subjected to the Power and Will of One single Person This Error was begotten betwixt Faction and Interest The One Manages by Design and the Other falls in upon an Implicit Resignation or else Yields upon Facility and Weakness In the Conclusion some Man of Observation and Experience as the Crow for the purpose carries them off Clear from the Reasoning Part and Applies to the Mobile in their Own Way That is to say in a Way of Pocket-Arguments He never Troubled Himself about the Original of Power or the Analogy betwixt Monarchy in Heaven and upon Earth but gives them a short Stroke upon the Subject of Profit and Loss You will find it easier says he to Fill One Sack then Many And That Allusion carry'd the Point FAB CCCX A Woman that would needs Die for her Husband A Poor Woman was put out of her Wits in a manner for fear of losing her Husband The Good Man was Sick and Given Over and Nothing would serve the Turn but Death must needs take Her instead of Him She Call'd and Pray'd and Pray'd and Call'd till at last Death Presented himself in a Horrible Shape at her Elbow She very Civilly dropt him a Cursie And Pray Sir says she Do not
Believed when there was FAB CCCLXI. A Florentine and a Horse-Courser A Florentine bought a Horse for so many Crowns upon condition to pay one Half down upon the Nail and be a Debtor for the rest The Horse-Courser comes to the Florentine next Morning for the Remainder of the Mony Soft says the Florentine A Bargain 's a Bargain My Contract was to be your Debtor for the Rest and if I Pay it I 'm no longer your Debtor The MORAL Conceits and Witticisms pay no Scores REFLEXION THIS Fable is only a Silly Tale told for the Tale's sake without any further Mystery or Meaning that I can perceive in 't If the Florentine had been Drubb'd or laid by the Heels for the Fallacy or but Laugh'd at for the Conceit it would have serv'd for a Caution to People how they Trifle and play the Tonies betwixt Jest and Earnest in Matters of Common Honesty Good Faith and Business Or it would have born a Moral to Discountenance the Levity of Punning and Iingling and the Childish Humour of Fooling with Mental Reservations and Double Meanings But as it is I can find nothing more in 't than a Frothy Empty Story It may serve however as a Buoy to keep People at a Distance and give Notice of a Shelf or a Flat For the Silliness of taking Delight in this Vulgar way of Sophism is to me as arrant an Indication of an Innocent as a Bib and a Bauble So that the Doctrin of a Thing done here teaches us what we are not to do that is to say we are neither to Meditate Fraudulent Contracts nor to take Childish Collusions in Conversation for Current Payment FAB CCCLXII A Christian and a Pagan A Christian and a Pagan that had been Old Acquaintances and Fellow-Travellers had several Discourses upon the way together about Religion and coming into Italy the Christian advised the Infidel for his better Satisfaction only to go to Mass once and then tell him what he thought on 't The Pagan accordingly went to Church and being afterward ask'd his Opinion of the Ceremonies and Solemnity of the Office his Answer was That he saw but one Thing there that he Dislik'd which was that it look'd a little Uncharitable for one Man to Eat and Drink by Himself and all the rest to look on The MORAL 'T is much with Opinions as it is with Tasts we can no more Command our Iudgments than our Palates REFLEXION THE Poyson of this Fable in the Liberty of Jesting with Holy Matters would need an Antidote to go along with it if it were not that it is a Pagan's Conceit and consequently suitable enough to the Character and Humour of an Infidel to have the Offices of Christianity in Derision If we take it by that Handle it may serve for a Reproof to those among our selves as we have but too many of them that take the same Freedom of Scoffing at Religion and Religious Rites and Ceremonies These People pass in the World under the Name of Christians but in their Hearts and Manners they are little better than Pagans The Frolick of a Merry Word goes further with them than the Conscience of their Profession and if they can but Elude the Dint of a Pinching Conviction by some Trivial Jest the Conceit they think Attones for the Wickedness FAB CCCLXIII An Ass taught Grammar THere was a Bold Undertaking Pedant Wager'd his Neck against a certain Sum of Mony that in Ten Years time he would Teach an Ass to Write Read and Chop Logick His Friends called him a Thousand Mad-men for casting away his Life upon so Absolute an Impossibility Pray Gentlemen says the Undertaker have but a little Patience for 't is odds that before the Term's out either the Prince Dyes that 's a a Party to the Contract or the Ass Dyes or the Adventurer Dyes and then the Danger 's over The MORAL Collusion without Malice is in many Cases not only Laudable but Necessary REFLEXION THERE are some Cases wherein a Man may Justify some sort of Shuffling and Evading without any Offence to Honour or Good Faith as in a case for the Purpose where the gaining of Time may be as much as a Man's Life or Estate is worth Some Men are but one Remove from some Asses and the difficulty of Teaching the one is next door to the impossibility of Teaching the other The very Proposition is a Whimsy Pleasant enough to shew the Vanity of attempting to make a Philosopher of a Blockhead Neither is it of a Quality to be understood according to the Letter So that in such a case if a Man can but save himself by a Shift or a Figure 't is all that can be desired and the Conditions naturally implied fall within the fair Equity of the Question There are certain Bounds and Terms of Raillery that may very well stand with the Rules of Honesty and Good Manners that is to say Where the Liberty carries neither Malice Sauciness nor Ill Nature along with it And the discreet manage of such a sort of Freedom betwixt Jest and Earnest Seasons the Entertainment of an Agreeable Conversation We should say to our selves in all our Distresses upon the apprehension of Temporal Difficulties to come as this Pedant in the Fable did to his Relations and Companions Let it be Bondage Loss of Friends Beggery Banishment nay Death it self This or that may Intervene It is an Unaccountable weakness for a Man to put himself upon the Torture at present for fear somebody else should Torment him Seven Years hence Is it not enough for us to be Miserable when the time comes unless we make our selves so Beforehand and by Anticipation When we have gone as far as Conscience Honour Industry and Human Prudence can carry us toward the preventing or the averting of the Danger that threatens us we are to remit the rest to Providence and wait the good Pleasure of Heaven with Patience Humility and Resignation This Man was to dye at Seven Years end unless he could bring to pass a thing Impossible Now sooner or later and which of the Two is uncertain we are all of us to dye Why are we not as Sollicitous now for the Certainty of the Thing as for the Appointment of the Time when a Thousand Accidents may interpose to divert the one and the other is wholly inevitable FAB CCCLXIV A Priest and Epiphany TO Morrow says the Curate is to be Celebrated the Feast of Epiphany I do not know whether the Saint be a Man or a Woman but the Day however is to be observed with Great Solemnity The MORAL The Silliness of the Person does not at all Derogate from the Dignity of his Character and Commission REFLEXION THIS is a Dry Fable and there 's nothing to be gotten out of it but by Squeezing It may pass however with a little Force for a Reproach upon the Ignorance of many People in their own Trade provided always that there be no Reflexion upon the Profession
with her does worse then Beat her But we live in an Age when Women we hope are better Instructed then to fly in the face of Religion it self Law and Nature And these Desperate Encounters can never fall out betwixt a Man and his Wife but where the Woman is lost to all sense of Shame Prudence Modesty and Common Respect FAB CCCCXXIV A Fox and a Divining Cock A Fox that had spy'd out a Cock at Roost upon a Tree and out of his Reach fell all of a sudden into an Extravagant Fit of Kindness for him and to Enlarge upon the Wonderful Esteem he had for the Faculties and good Graces of the Bird but more particularly for his Skill in Divination and the Foreknowledge of Things to come Oh says he that I were but Worthy the Friendship of so great a Prophet This Flattery brought the Cock down from the Tree into the very Mouth of the Fox and so away he Trudges with him into the Woods reflecting still as he went upon the strange Force that Fair Words have upon vain Fools For this Sot of a Cock says he to take himself for a Diviner and yet not foresee at the same time that if he fell into my Clutches I should certainly make a Supper of him The MORAL A Fool that will Swallow Flattery shall never want a Knave to give it him REFLEXION THE Power of Flattery where it is once Entertain'd is well nigh Irresistible for it carries the Countenance of Friendship and Respect and Foolish Natures are easily wrought upon and Perverted under that Semblance When Pride Vanity and Weakness of Judgment meet in the same Person there 's no Resisting the Temptations of a fair Tongue and consequently no avoiding the Secret and Malicious Designs of a False Heart Here 's a Credulous Cock already prepar'd for the Entertainment of the Grossest of Flatteries Nothing so Ridiculous nothing so Impossible but it goes down whole with him for Truth and Earnest Nay and the Folly is so Unaccountable and the Madness so Notorious that in this Humour the most Spiteful Enemies we have in the World pass upon us for Friends The Cock takes the Council of a Fox and like the Squirrel to the Rattle-Snake puts himself into the Mouth of his Mortal Adversary How many such Diviners do we meet with in our Daily Conversation that lay their Lives Fortunes and Reputation at the Mercy of Parasites How many Sots that Commence Philosophers upon the Credit of these Fawning Slaves There 's no Fool to the great Fool that 's Fool'd by a little Fool nor any thing so Scandalous as to be the Fool Of a Fool. FAB CCCCXXV The Moon Begs a New Gown THe Moon was in a heavy Twitter once that her Cloaths never Fitted her Wherefore Pray Mother says she let the Taylor take Measure of me for a New-Gown Alas Child says the Mother how is it possible to make any one Garment to Fit a Body that appears every Day in a several Shape The MORAL 'T is the Humour of many People to be perpetually Longing for something or other that 's not to be had REFLEXION THIS shews us the Vanity of Impracticable Propositions and that there is no Measure to be taken of an Unsteady Mind There 's no Quieting of Unsettled Affections no satisfying of Unbounded Desires no possibility in short of either Fixing or Pleasing them Let a Man but say What he would have When and how Much or how Little and the Moons Taylor may take Measure of him but to be Longing for this thing to Day and for that thing to Morrow to change Likings for Loathings and to stand Wishing and Hankering at a Venture how is it possible for any Man to be at Rest in this Fluctuant Wandering Humour and Opinion There 's no fitting of a Gown to a Body that 's of One Size when you take Measure of it and of another when you come to put it on 'T is the very same Case with a Heart that is not True to it self And upon the whole Matter Men of this Levity are Condemn'd to the Misery of Living and Dying Uneasy FAB CCCCXXVI A Young Fellow about to Marry MArrying and Hanging they say go by Destiny and the Blade had this Thought in his Head perhaps that Desir'd the Prayers of the Congregation when he was upon the very Point of Matrimony His Friends gave him no Answer it seems which put him upon Reasoning the Matter with them Why Gentlemen says he if there had been but a Snick-up in the Case you 'd have cry'd the Lord Bless ye Sir and there 's more Danger in Marrying I hope then there is in Sneezing The MORAL The Parson was much in the Right sure that like the Hang-man ask'd all People Forgiveness that he was to Marry before he did Execution upon them REFLEXION MANY a Man runs a greater Risque in a Wise then the World is aware of The Whimsical Freak of this Young Bantering Spark would have made no Ill Ingredient into a Wise and a Sober Man's Litany and though it looks like a Jest there is somewhat in 't yet that may be worth a thinking Man's Earnest But there will need no more then the Experience of those that have Try'd the Circumstances of this Blessed State to Recommend the Morality of the Allusion to the Thought of others that are not yet Enter'd into the Matrimonial Noose FAB CCCCXXVII A Woman trusted with a Secret THere was a Good Woman in the Days when Good Women were in Fashion that valu'd her self Wonderfully upon the Faculty of Retention or for the sake of Good Manners upon the Admirable Gift she had in the Keeping of a Secret The Toy took her Husband in the Head once to make Tryal of her Vertue that way and so he told her One Morning upon Waking in the greatest Confidence Imaginable one of the Strangest Things perhaps that ever was heard of which had that Night Befall'n him But my Dear says he if you should Speak on 't again I 'm utterly Ruin'd and Women are generally so Leaky that in the whole Course of my Life I have hardly met with any one of the Sex that could not hold her Breath longer then she should keep a Secret Ah my Life says she but your Woman I assure ye is none of that Number What Betray my Husbands Secrets I 'd Dye a Thousand Deaths first No my Heart if ever I do may Her Husband at that word stop'd her Mouth for fear of some Bloody Imprecation and so told her Come Wife says he They that will Swear will Lye and so I 'll rather tell you upon Honour Look ye here what has befall'n me I have laid an Egg to Night and so he took the Egg from his Backside and bad her Feel on 't but if this should ever come to Light now People would say that I was Hen-Trod and the Disgrace of it would make me a Scandal to Mankind This Secret lay Burning in the Breast of the