à vne fille To take away a maids good name but euen all shame and modestie We are here further to note that our ancestors to the end they might emphatically describe an impudent person and shew how great a vice they iudged impudencie to be called an impudent man a dog and an impudent woman a bitch But how may some say do these examples taken out of Ouid and such like Poets agree to the former discourse concerning theft sith in the verses where married women are onely mentioned and not maids it is not said that they defraud their husbands but that that is taken from them which properly belongeth to their husbands To which I answer that albeit women commit not this theft themselues they are notwithstanding rightly called theeues because that after they haue defrauded their husbands of the loue and loyaltie which they promised them by solemne stipulation and set it vpon others they yeeld and prostitute themselues vnto them that so they may steale that from their husbands which of right belongs vnto them 22 I say they prostitute themselues to put a necessary distinction betweene such as are allured by pleasure and those who are compelled by force For she that for want of bridling her lust is become bankcrupt of her honestie hath doubtlesse a whores forehead and is in plaine termes a very theefe whereas she that is not able to withstand the violence that is offered her and so is constrained to yeeld to the wicked will of man or is circumuented by subtilty and so hath that taken from her which otherwise she would neuer haue yeelded argues by her resistance not onely that she is not accessary to the theft but that her chastity is nothing impeached or impaired therby And what better guardian can there be of a womans chastitie then the loue which she beareth to her husband For if loue be seated in the soule and not in the body it must needes follow that so long as the soule is not polluted with the body chastity remaines entire without either spot or blot And how may we better know that the mind remaineth pure the body being defiled then by a womās resistāce Now that chastity is not seated in the body it is euidēt by that phrase which is vsual in sundry languages wherby she who before she was married was called a modest maide is after marriage called a modest matron Wherefore poore Lucretia did not iudge aright of herselfe and her owne estate when she said she had lost her chastitie considering it is not in the power of man to depriue a woman thereof Therefore that which she afterwards added that her body was defiled but her mind was vndefiled as not consenting to the fact doth controll her former assertion this being granted that the soule or mind is the seate of vertue and not the body Which point prophane writers did not so well consider for they do not onely excuse this her foule fact in embruing her hands in her owne bloud but haue hence taken occasion to extoll her to the skies as a most vertuous and couragious woman in reuenging the outrage done vnto her by her owne death But before I make answer to the first obiection touching the violence and villanie which as they say was offered and done to her chastitie I would desire them to shew me what they meane by reuenge for in my vnderstanding it is absurd that an iniury should be reuenged by the death of him to whom it was offered and not of him that offered it I might further alledge that she said not Mors vltrix erit or vindex Death shall take reuenge but Mors testis erit my death shall be a witnesse As though she should haue said My death shall witnesse that to all the world which lying hidden in my heart I am not able to expresse I was so farre from being allured by lust and sensuality to yeeld mine assent that my life by reason thereof is a burden vnto me and as bitter as death it selfe For answer to the second Be it that her death were vindicatiue yet it were but a reuenge of the iniury done to the defiled body and not of the wrong done to the vndefiled mind which is the seate of chastitie Whereupon an auncient writer whose name S. Augustine concealeth hath this excellent saying O strange and admirable thing there were two persons and yet one onely committed adulterie But S. Augustine disputeth the point further in this sort If it were not light skirtednesse and leuitie that caused her to companie with Tarquinius she is vniustly punished considering she is chast For certes the more her adultery is excused the more is her murther condemned and contrarily the more her adultery is condemned the more is her murther excused this being granted that it were lawfull for a man to kill himselfe The same father commending the fine conceit of the foresaid writer hath a finer of his owne in his second reason if it be his when as he saith Si adultera cur laudata si pudica cur occisa that is If she were an adulteresse why is she commended if she were chast why was she murthered Vpon which words a friend of mine an excellent scholler and one whom God hath enriched with many rare gifts and graces of his spirit the fruite whereof is reaped in many places of Christendome at this day made not long since this pleasant Epigram which I will here impart to the Reader Si tibi fortè fuit Lucretia gratus adulter Immeritò ex merita praemia caede petis Sin potiùs casto vis est allata pudori Quis furor est hostis crimine velle mori Frustra igitur laudem captas Lucretia namque Vel furiosa ruis vel scelerata cadis I will here also set it downe in French as it was turned ex tempore by one of the Authors friends Si le paillard t' a pleu c'est à grand tort Lucrece Que par ta mort tu veux coulpable estre louée Mais si ta chasteté par force est violée Pour le forfait d'autruy mourir est-ce sagesse Pour neant donc tu veux ta memoire estre heureuse Car ou tu meurs meschante ou tu meurs furieuse That is Were that vnchast mate welcome to thy bed Lucrece thy lust was iustly punished Why seek'st thou fame that di'dst deseruedly But if foule force defil'd thine honest bed His onely rage should haue bene punished Why di'dst thou for anothers villanie Both wayes thy thirst of fame is too vniust Dying or for fond rage or guiltie lust But not to speake of Christians I perswade my selfe that if this fact of hers had bene propounded to heathen Philosophers they would haue giuen no other iudgement Sure I am of Xenophon who in two seuerall places giues this reason why husbands may lawfully kill the adulterer viz. because he steales from them the loue and loyaltie of their wiues due to none but to themselues
fairest face lieth the foulest heart so oftē in the smoothest tale the smallest truth In a word that Stephens Apologie is nothing but a rhapsodie of fables of Friers deuised of his fingers and therefore the Translator had need to looke to his proofes But what writer should be innocent if such senslesse prating might passe for proofe They are therefore to know that the greatest sticklers are not alway the greatest strikers nor the loudest barkers the sorest biters We haue liued too long to be scared with such bugs And I doubt not but for all these crackes and brauadoes they wil take counsell of their pillow and perhaps stroke their beards fiue times as the Doctors of Sorbonne that disputed with Erasmus did ere they could bring out one wise word before they will disproue it For had it bin so easie a pil to haue bene swallowed we should haue heard of them long ere this considering they haue had it lying by them full fortie yeares and more But this is the matter if Stephen or any other orthodoxe writer trip neuer so little and mistake but the least circumstance they cry out by and by that they do nothing but belie them that they misreport their actions and falsifie their positions c. Wherein they deale like certaine theeues who robbing a true man and finding more money about him then he would be knowne of cried out of the falshood of the world that there was no truth to be found among men They may do well to looke a little nearer home where Walsingham one of their owne writers wil tell them that Friers in the raigne of King Richard the second were so famous or rather infamous for ther lying that it was held as good an argument to reason thus Hic est Frater ergo mendax He is a Fryer ergo a lyer as Hoc est album ergo coloratū This is white therefore coloured And that they haue not yet lost the whetstone nor left their old wont may appeare by those infinite leud lies which they haue published in their Legends Festiuals Breuiaries Specula Histor. Vitae Patrum Houres Offices Pies Portifories Portuises c. For whereas Mahomet left but 113. fables in his Alcoran they haue left more then so many thousand For hardly shall a man find a leafe I had almost said a line without a lie To giue a tast of some few What more common in their writings then such fables as these That Saint Denis the Areopagite tooke vp his head after it was striken off and caried it in his hand two miles That Saint Dunstane tooke the diuel by the nose with a paire of pincers as he looked in at a window and made him cry most pitifully That Saint Bernac turned oake leaues into loaues viz. by changing one letter stones into fishes water into wine and that he sailed ouer the sea vpon a stone as an hundred and fiftie of Ioseph of Arimath company did vpon his sons shirt and Frier Herueus vpō his mantle That Saint Nicholas while he lay in his cradle fasted Wednesdayes and Fridayes on which dayes he would neuer sucke aboue once That Saint Christopher pitched his staffe in the ground and forthwith it budded and brought forth leaues at the sight whereof eight thousand Pagans became Christians That Bishop Trian hauing killed his cow and his calfe to entertaine Saint Patricke and his companie the next morning both of them were seene feeding in the meadow That a sheepe being stolen and not restored to the owner as Saint Patricke had commaunded he caused it to bleate in the belly of him that had eaten it That Saint Briccius being but a boy saw the Diuel behind the Altar noting the misdemeanour of the people in a peece of parchment and that when he wanted parchment to write on he pulled it so hard with his teeth that the parchment rent and he knocked his head against the wall And that Saint Martin coniured him so that he caused him to blot out what he had written That when the Kings daughter of Silena cast her girdle about the Dragons necke as Saint George had commaunded her he followed her vp and downe like a gentle dogge That S. George being cast into a copperful of boiling lead by making the signe of the crosse was refreshed therein as if he had bin in a bath That Saint Goodrick that good Norfolke Saint ten yeares before his death saw clearly whatsoeuer was done within ten miles of him round about and that he often saw what euer was done in all the world That Saint Dominicks bookes being fallen into the riuer and lying there three dayes were found by a fisherman and taken vp as dry as a feather That Saint Romuald deliuered high points of diuinitie as soone as he was borne and presently after hee was baptized made a learned Sermon That Saint Christina spake when her tongue was cut out That Saint Margaret being swallowed by a Dragon had no sooner made the signe of the crosse but the Dragon burst asunder and out she came as sound as a trout That Syre Ambright Earle of Venice or of Vtopia whether you wil desirous to receiue the Sacrament and being not able to take it by reason of continuall casting layd it on his side vpō the place next his heart saying Lord thou knowest that I loue thee with all my heart I would faine receiue thee with my mouth if I durst but because I may not I lay thee on the place that is next my heart and hauing so said his side opened and when the host was gone in it closed againe That Beda's boy who led him vp and downe to preach because he was blind being disposed to play the knaue with him brought him into a valley full of great stones telling him that there were many there assembled to heare him and that when he had made his sermon and concluded with per omnia saecula saeculorum the stones answered aloud Amen venerabilis Pater which was one speciall reason why he was euer after called Venerable Bede That when Thomas Becket who neuer dranke any thing but water sate at table with Pope Alexander and that his Holinesse would needs tast of his cup lest his abstemiousnesse should be knowne God turned the water into wine so that the Pope found nothing but wine in the cup. But when Becket pledged him it was turned into water againe For it were halfe heresie to thinke notwithstanding the Pope found it to be wine that Thomas dranke any thing but water With these and infinite the like fables which a man would thinke should come rather from the wise men of Gotham of the posteritie of them that drowned the Eele then from any in their right wits do their pulpits dayly sound and their writings swell againe And therefore if you do not beleeue them take heede you be not burnt for an hereticke
great Lords are aduanced by meanes of their wiues but this I say that it is either a thing lately practised among them or at least farre more common and ordinarie then in former time How euer it be our Age will affoord vs sundry examples of such as euen with shipwracke of their consciences if they had any shew great Lords that they are not vnthankful but that they so well remember the benefites and fauours they haue receiued at their hands that they wholly become their most humble and affectionate seruants Howbeit I will not stand to exemplifie this in those who do no better then damne their owne soules in this behalfe but will record a verie memorable example of a certaine Iudge at Paris to whom I hope I shall do no more wrong to put him in the ranke among the rest then they did him at Paris Anno 1557. in setting him on the pillorie This venerable Iudge purposing to shew better then euer before that he was a miller in conscience as well as in name let not this cracke the credit of those millers that keep a good conscience willing to shew a great Lord how much he wold do for him being willing as it seemed to do much more then he was requested not content to damne his soule to the diuell in this case flourished so with his Eloquence and Rhetoricall insinuations that he perswaded others to send their soules to hel for company For he so hotly prosecuted the matter against the Countesse of Senigan who was vniustly accused to haue holpen the Duke of Ascot to saue himself out of the castle of Vincennes where he was imprisoned that he suborned a number of false witnesses to depose against her vsing for this purpose the helpe of a commissioner called Bouuet but both escaped at too easie a rate For after they had bene condemned for double dealing and false packing in suborning false witnesses to further the suite commenced against the said Countesse they were adiudged to aske her forgiuenesse in way of honorable satisfaction and after to be set on the pillory in the market place of Paris and last of all to be banished Neither do such base companions onely stretch their consciences vpon the tenters to pleasure their Lords and maisters at whose command they are ready with life and limme but to gratifie others also Witnesse the Chancellour who cried out vpon his death bed Ah Cardinall thou hast sent vs all to the diuell Which I speake not any way to blemish the good name of his successour whose great knowledge as all men know ioyned with like integritie may serue as a patterne and president to all posteritie 5 But to returne to false witnesses and the suborning of them because my purpose is to treat of thē more at large Albeit then this false packing in suborning of false witnesses be a sinne of great standing and almost as old as the man in the Moone yet it neuer came I take it to the height it is come vnto in these daies as may appeare by an answer which is now growne to be a by-word in euery mans mouth made by a good fellow who being demanded what trade he was of answered that he was a witnesse Which answer could neuer haue come from any but from such a one as had had his abode in those places where men made witnesse bearing a trade or occupation making merchandize thereof as of wares And we may assure our selues that his fellowes would neuer haue answered so simply If any shall say that the number of false witnesses is not in all probability so great at this day as it was some few yeares ago considering there are not so many executed for it as in former times I answer that the reason followeth not for experience shewes that there are more put to death by order of Law in some places where lesse trespasses are committed then in others where greater villanies are practised The execution therefore of iustice in one place often or seldome doth not argue the multitude or paucity of offenders in another it shewes rather the vigilancie and integritie of those that haue the sword committed vnto them If they shall further reply and say that though the number of false witnesses be now as great and their punishment lesse then euer it was yet it is not because there is greater impunity but for that it is a point of greater difficultie to discouer them considering their suborners teach them their lesson better and they remember it better then their predecessors I answer to the contrary that it is as ordinary at this day for false witnesses to bewray betray and almost beray themselues yea and to beate themselues as it were with their owne rods as euer it was in former times Among many other notable examples of false depositiōs which haue happened within these few yeares of such as had foully forgotten their lesson that is commonly alledged for proofe hereof which is of certain varlets suborned by a Lord of Berri against a citizē of Bourges called Boyuerd was who accused of murther for wheras they were told that the best marke wherby they might know the said Boyuerd was that his nose was made like the handle of a rasor they being seuerally examined by the Iudge and asked how they could know him answered all with one accord that they could easily know him by a cut of a razour which he had vpon his nose So that when Boyuerd against whom they came to depose was brought forth they said he was not the man because he had no scarre vpon his nose And thus being detected they were accordingly executed the suborner and false accuser being beheaded and quartered onely in effigie which was no small aduantage for him Now albeit this be as notable an example of false packing as happened these twenty yeares Yet we may not thinke that it is the onely example but that some of fresh memory may be found to match it This at the least which happened as most men know within these seuen weekes to certaine false witnesses suborned against one brought from Orleans to Paris fast bound pinioned how these wicked wretches so forgat themselues that whereas they should haue said that the man against whom they deposed had a red beard they said he was swart and had a blacke beard Now what seuere punishment hath bene inflicted vpon such companions I leaue the Reader to enquire yet this I know and who knoweth it not that during the last ciuill warres in Fraunce and whilst the deuourers of cōfiscations ruled the rost this accursed trade was practised with as great impunitie as euer it was either in this or in former Ages 6 And is the lurry of Lawyers who as Maillard speaketh take ab hoc ab hâc or à dextris à sinistris quite worne out Nay would to God it were not much greater then before and that it were not so notoriously knowne that euen little children
could talke of it Notwithstanding I will here alleadge one onely example which shall sufficiently cleare this iolly manner of proceeding The Attourney of my Lord Beau-ieu and heire of Myles d'Hyliers Bishop of Chartres who is yet liuing if he be not very lately dead hauing receiued of the foresaid Lord a house standing in the place Maubert in Paris which he sold as it is reported for 150. or 200. pounds in ready money in recompence of the paines which he promised to take in aduancing his businesse in steed of promise he like a villaine betrayed him most perfidiously to his aduersary the Lord of Beaumont La ronce in hope of a parcell of land worth three hundred pounds which was promised him 7 As for cunning conueyances subtil sleights craftie deuices and cousining shifts vsed in Law would to God they were but quadruple to those in former times and that yong beginners were acquainted with no more sleights then the craftiest Lawyers were in former ages I will here alleadge onely two examples to this purpose which notwithstanding shall counteruaile two dozen of others The first is of a craftie conueyance grounded vpon a rigorous course in the formall proceeding of iustice not vnlike to that in Terence Summum ius summa saepè iniuria est which is this The Proctor and Counsell of a certaine gentleman who was the plaintiffe as being the next kinsman being corrupted and hauing compacted vnder hand with the Counsel Proctor of the aduerse partie caused the said plaintiffe to pay a certaine summe of mony very fraudulently giuing him the key of the budget backe againe in keeping wherein the mony was to the end that when the defendant should come to receiue his mony at the time appointed and that the depositary should answer that he could not deliuer him any til he had the key he might take witnesse that he refused to pay it and so sentence might passe on his side that his aduersary had not tendered the mony according to couenant and consequently that he might be cast in his suite and wiped of all which fell out accordingly The second is of a most strange sleight deuised to saue the life of one imprisoned for a capital crime The story is this One Williā Kinsmā being condemned by the vnder Iudge of Poitiers to be boyled in oyle for a false coyner appealed to the Court of Parliament at Paris whither being brought his proctor Belluchian gaue him intelligence that the next day he should be confronted with 20. witnesses Whereupon Kinsman intreated him to send him some nimble headed fellow promising to giue him ten French crownes and by him he directed the said Belluchian that at night he should disguise himself and repaire to the house where the witnesses lodged faining himselfe to be one of the number and that in supper time he should giue it out that William Kinsman against whom they were come to depose would escape as he had done sundry times before The proctor did as he was enioyned wherupon they growing hot vpon his words would needs wager with him to the contrary and layed downe euery man his quart d'escu Of all which particulars the proctor took a register by two publike notaries whom he had brought with him secretly for that purpose which being authentically taken he sent it to the said Kinsman who being confronted the next morning with these witnesses and demanded as the manner is whether he held them for honest men and whether he would except against any of them answered that they were all as true to him as Iudas was to Christ for said he they haue sworne my death for proofe whereof see this scrole Now as this was in any mans iudgement a most sublimate subtiltie as I may say so I thinke no man will denie but that albeit the defendant aduised his proctor thereof yet it may well be reckoned in the number of those which are dayly forged in the Lawyers shops to vse the French phrase and consequently may fitly be placed here among the rest 8 Now if there be haply any that will not rest satisfied with the former examples but shall thinke that this age hath greater store of them I will alleadge two others which I hope will suffice to make vp the whole number and which if I be not greatly deceiued were deuised of late at leastwise not mentioned by the foresaid Preachers The first is that whereas in former time the definitiue sentence of the Iudge did put an end to all suites they haue now found out a tricke to continue protract and multiply them so much the more for there are some suites which haue bin decided ten times by sentence of Court and yet are as new to begin as euer they were The second is that for one head which is cut off from a suite there forthwith spring out as many moe as there did in old time out of the serpent Hydra To wind vp all in a word whereas our ancestors complained onely of the length of suites for it is no new saying Lis litem serit we haue iust cause to complaine that they can neuer haue end 9 Now if it were necessary to particularize that which hath bene spoken in generall touching the corruption which is to be seene in pettifogging practises I could here alleadge a very strange practise which thankes be to God was in request but onely for a time no longer then the credit of the author thereof the selfe same man who was made so famous by a comedie acted in Artois where it was said Bertran di te lechon Il nescé mie se lechon Par me foy il luy faut bailler sur sès fesses Non non il est trop grand pour auoir sur ses fesses il vaut mieux luy bailler les seaux that is Bertram say thy lesson He cannot say his lesson In good troth he must be beaten Nay by your leaue Sir he is too old to vntrusse we were better giue him the keeping of the broade seale This fine fellow whō I wil not make knowne by any other name not content to seale hand ouer head whatsoeuer great men intreated him granted writs out of the Court of Parliament at Paris to both parties as wel the plaintiffes as the defendants with reuocatory letters one vpon another sometimes to the number of sixe or seuen Now what age can boast or brag euer to haue seene or heard the like 10 But if we should proceed further and come to the fountaine and original of these euils we should no doubt find it to be so great that we may well wonder they did not maister the banks and ouerflow in greater measure For if we consider the great impunitie and free libertie which is granted to prolling pettifoggers chicken Iustices and corrupt Iudges who at this day wrest and peruert the law we may wonder they do not ten times worse But if we should see an exemplary punishment inflicted vpon such malefactors like vnto