of fight And oftentymes he vseth eyes of glasse clere glistering bright Now sith that Furnus hath foure eyes and well decerneth still It makes mee muse and maruaile much why still hee sees so ill His wife is wicked wanton still whiche he doth neuer see Foole Furnus doth not see so well but sure as ill sees hee Of Pope Innocent 8. Eyght boyes Pope Nocent did â—eger as many maides in all O Rome most iustly maist thou sure this Pope a father call Of Alexander 6. and his daughter Lucretia NO gelding Alexander was now dost thou aske mee why Lewd Lucrece was his daughter and his wife with him to lye Against Claudia TWo kisses Bossus askt of thee when I in prensence was He would haue geuen mony to of him thou didst not passe Thou giuste no kisses openly close thou dost kisse amayne Of kisses thou to sparing art to lauishe eke againe To Dauid Whitehed VNto mee Willobey doth write that Podagra the gowt Doth paine thee still but Chiragra doth payne thee out of dout The first remaineth in the feet the second in the fiste Thou canst not write to mee but go well canst thou if thou list To Leopoldus I Haue thee promisde muche thou â—aiâ—â— â–ª what now declare to mee What I haue promisd I will giue I nothing promisde thee Against Gaspus whiche with one draught of wine or ale would be made drunke GAspus if thou wilt not be drunke then marke what I shall say When as thou drinkest drinke thou of an empty cup alway Against Colt a Preist THose that deeme Colt hath nothing done they greatly are beguild He hath done somwhat he hath plaid the colt and got a child To the Reader IF so but six good Epigrams in all my booke there be Then all is not pild paultrie stuffe whiche reader thou doost see But if six good thou do not finde refuse then all the rest And let them serue to wipe thy tayle if so thou thinke it best To the Reader SVfficient now nay to to muche I trifled haue with thee Farewell good reader here an end no more I le troublous be Ludicra per verbares saepè notatâ—r acerba M. ROGER ASCHAM The sentence whiche Darius Kyng of Persia commaunded to bee engrauen on his Toumbe DARIVS the Kyng lieth buried here Who in riding shoting had neuer pere The gracelesse grace of the Court. TO laugh to lye to flatter to face Fower waies in Coure to win meÌ„ grace If thou bee thrall to none of theese Away good Pekegoose hence Ihon Cheese Marke well my worde marke their deede And thinke this verse parte of thy Creede A verse of Homer translated into Englishe by M. Watson ALL trauelers do gladly report great praise of Vlysses For that he knewe many mens maners and saw many cities Of the herbe Moly translated out of Homer NO mortall man with sweat of brow or toile of minde But onely God who can do al that herbe doeth finde Of Newters NOw newe now old now bothe now neither To serue the worldes course thei care not with whether Master Aschams lamentation for the death of master Ihon Whitney MYne owne Ihon Whitney now farewell now Death doeth part vs twaine No Death but partyng for a while whom life shall ioyne againe Therefore my harte cease sighes and sobbes cease sorrowes seede to sowe Whereof no gaine but greater greef and hurtfull care maie growe Yet when I thinke vpon suche guiftes of grace as God hym lent My losse his gaine I must awhile with ioyfull teares lament Yong yeres to yeeld suche fruite in Courte where seede of vice is sowne Is sometyme redde in some place seen amongst vs seldome knowne His life he lead Christs lore to learne with will to woorke the same He read to knowe and knewe to liue and liude to praise his name So fast to frende so foe to fewe so good to euery wight I maie well wishe but scarsly hope againe to haue in sight The greater ioye his life to me his death the greater paine His life in Christ so surely set doeth glad my harte againe His life so good his death better doe mingle mirthe with care My spirite with ioye my fleshe with greef so deare a frende to spare Thus God the good while thei be good doeth take and leaues vs ill That we should mende our synfull liues in life to tarry still Thus we well left be better reft in heauen to take his place That by like life and death at last we maie obtaine like grace Myne owne Ihon Whitney againe farewell a while thus parte in twaine Whom pain doeth part in yearth in heauen greate ioye shall ioyne againe A golden sentence out of Hesiodus THat man in wisedome passeth all to knowe the beste who hath a head And meetly wise eke counted shall Who yeelds hym self to wise mennes read Who hath no witte nor none will heare Among all fooles the bell maie beare A verse of Homer WHat follies so euer greate princes make The people therefore doe goe to wracke An excellent saiyng of Homer WHo either in earnest or in sporte doeth frame hymself after suche sort This thyng to thinke and that to tell my harte abhorreth as gate to hell A saiyng of Adraâ—tus out of Euripides WHat thyng a man in tender age hath moste in vre That same to death alwaies to kepe he shal be sure Therefore in age who greately longs good fruite to mow In youth he must hym self apply good seede to sowe FINIS TRIFLES BY TIMOTHE KENDAL deuised and written for the moste part at sundrie tymes in his yong and tender age Tamen est laudanda voluntas CORNELIVS GALLVS Diuersos diuersa iuuant non omnibus annis omnia conueniunt res prius apta nocet Exultat leuitate puer grauitate senectus inter vtruÌ„que manens stat iuuenile decus Hunc tacitum tristemque decet fit clarior ille laetitia linguae garrulitate suae ¶ THE AVTHOR TO HIS Pamphlets and Trifles BOrbon in France beares bell awaie for writyng trifles there In Englande Parkhurst praysed is for writyng trifles here Now sith that these were learned bothe and trifles did indite Shall I now shame of youthfull daies my triflyng toyes to write No sure I blushe not hence my booke let all men read thy verse Graue men graue matters sportfull youth must sportfull toyes rehearse Now reader lende thy listnyng eare and after syngyng Larke Content thy self of chattyng Crowe some homely notes to marke The Author to hymself T To serue thy God thy Prince thy soile endeuour all thy life I In peace delight seke still to staie the stormes of sturdie strife M Make muche of Modestie be meke take heede to clime to hye O Offende not one be true in harte all filthy flattery flie T Take tyme in tyme teÌ„per thy tongue from filthy talke refraine H Helpe haplesse men hope for heauen by pacience conquer paine E Eate so to liue liue so to die die so
thou must packe and so must I againe Bothe like as like maie be but thou livst merrier farre then I Thou livst and lovste not loue makes me a wretche to liue perdie Of his loue Caelia THe fire doeth tame the iron harde harde flinte the waters pearce Warme bloud doeth breake the Adamant as sundrie bookes rehearse But she whom I doe serue more harde then these repeted three Then Iron Flint or Adamant more rockie harde is she For ne my fire that burnes in breast ne teares from eyes that fall Nor spinnyng bloud from sanguine vaines maie make her rue her thrall Of Ioue A Swanne a Bull a Satyre wood and golde was Ioue aboue For L for E. for A. and D. with whom he was in loue To the Reader ALthough not thee I please my self thou reader maiest be gone Sufficient if the writers woorkes doe please hym self alone Of hym self THou laughst thou lowrst both glad sad thou bothe doest rest and raynge Suche is the life a louer leads thou lovste t is nothyng straynge IOANNES SECVNDVS Three Euills WHiche are three ills that mischefe men to know dost thou desire Haue here in few my frend exprest the Fem the Flud the Fire The riche old man of hym selfe WHen yong I was then poore I was â–ª now in my latter dayes With riches I abound ay mee vnhappie wretche both wayes When as I knewe some vse of goods I wanted euermore And now I know no vse of goods of goods I haue great store Of a Dwarfe A Dwarfe vppon a Pismyers backe did get hym vp to ride He deemd a tamed Oliphante he did as then bestride But while he did aduaunce hym selfe to bolde vppon his backe He tumbled downe and had a fall that made his guts crie quacke When as the Dwarfe was thus vnhorst each laught both great and small Why laugh you masters quoth the dwarfe what Phaëton had a fall Loue is vncurable AN hearb is found each hurte to helpe all soares haue salues we see Alone the wound that Cupid giues can neuer cured be SIMON VALLAMBERTVS AVALON To a couetous old Carle ALthough thy horie siluer heares as white as Lillies showe Although thou Pylius passe in yeares that liued long ago Although the teeth whiche thou hast bought nor crust can eate nor crumme Although vnto the brinke thou art of Stygian boate now come Yet naytheles whole Coffers cramd with coine thou still dost craue And bags byg bolne with mony muche thou still desirst to haue O dotyng sire these heapes of coine requires not Charon fell One silly pennie for his fare contenteth Charon well Of Codrus INto a princely Pallace proude built braue with Marble stone With ragged tattered torne attire poore Codrus would haue gonne So nakt quoth one ye come not here quoth Codrus no and why The gods are nakt and none but nakt must go to heauen perdie To Pansophus THough Pansophus thou pleasest none no maruell t is and why Thou pleasest ouermuch thy selfe proud Pansophus perdy To a Niggarde ALL thyng is dere thou saist wine vittayl corne and graine Yet miser vile well stored thou with all thyng dost remaine So thou to no man deere selst deere vnto the poore Alacke thou saist all things are deere deere must I sell therefore Ah sell thou miser as thou maist and shunne thou Vsury So shalt thou be to all men deere and dere to none perdie To a backbiter that was balde BAldsconse I nothyng haue vnto thee for to say But sure I laude thy locks which are gone from thy hed away To Achilles Combanus BRight Glory rayngyng here and there to seeke the shinyng bowre Where Vertue dwelt hapt on thy house of Vertue fragrant flower And so when Glory did perceaue that Vertue dwelt with thee Here will I rest quoth he thy guest I will Combanus be OVT OF GREEK EPIGRAMMES How to vse riches VSe riches those thou haste as though thou shouldest die Again as though thou shouldest liue thy goods spende sparynglie A prudent man is he whiche this consideyng well Doeth still obserue and keepe the meane whiche all thyng doeth excell Against riot GReate store of houses for to builde greate store of men to feede To come to pinyng penurie the verie pathe in deede Mannes miserie I Wept when I was borne and now at point of death I likewise weepe and weepe I shall while bodie beareth breath O wretched mortall man weake wofull pensiue sad Come life or death thou livst a wretche no comfort to be had Wiuyng twise HIs first wife dedde and laied in graue who doeth a seconde take To trie the seas againe hym self a shipman he doeth make Wedlocke VIrginitie surpasseth yet if all should virgines be Our life were vaine and none for to succede vs should we see Take therefore thou a wife and when that thou doest dye Leaue to the worlde and thee an heire and shunne adulterie Of a Thracian lad A Thracian boye well tipled all the daie VpoÌ„ a frozen â—pring did sport and plaie The slipper Ice with hefte of bodies swaie On sodaine brake and swapt his hed awaie That swam alofte belowe the carkas laie The mother came and bare the heade awaie When she did burie it thus gan she saie This brought I forth in flame his heirce to haue The rest amids the flood to find a graue Pittie and compassion A Fisher fishyng on the shore with anglyng pole in hande By hap a dedmans drowned scalpe drue vp vnto the lande With drerie looke when long he had behelde the sconse he founde With pittie prickt he tooke it vp to graue it in the grounde By Diggyng deepe it was his hap a hoorde of golde to finde Lo neuer vnrequited goes compassion curtuous kinde To Orestes preparyng to kill his mother WHere shovst thou in thy swoordeâ— through panche or pap so tender soft The bellic bredde and brought thee forthe the pappe did feede thee oft A prouerbe BEtwene thy vpper lip and of the cup the brinke Doe many thyngs fall out the whiche thou wouldst not thinke How death is hastened WHoso he be that lothyng life desireth soone to die Three things must folowe which are these Baines wine and Venerie Three thynges bothe hurt and helpe BAines women wine these three doe shorten life certaine Baines women wine these three doe lengthen life againe Nothyng hid from God. THou Caitiffe though thou doe conceale thy crimes from men belowe Yet them to God thou must reueale whether thou wilt or no. Fayned frendship NOt he so muche annoyes and hurtes that saies I am thy foe As he that beares a hatefull harte and is a frende to showe Warnde of my foe I shunne my foe but how should I take heede Of hym that faines hymself my frende when as he hates in deede Moste sure a wretched foe is he whiche frendship firme doeth faine And sekes by all the shifts he can his frende to put to paine To muche brynges lothsomnesse TO muche of any thyng is
he durst not disobaie The theues were silent husht and thus the Monke began to saie The liues the labours eke of theeues I must commende perdie The toile thei take by lande and lake doth leade to loftie skie For Christ hym self by lande and sea did trauell farre and nere And neuer rested in one place as doeth by bookes appere So you my maisters roue and range abroade from place to place Still still you walke your stations not restyng any space Christ neuer plowde the clottered soile nor vsed seede to sowe Yet did he liue and lacked naught you liue and lacke you no What more vnto you should I saie to iudgement brought was he And he condemned was to death so likewise you shall be Christ likewise he was fixt on crosse and hangde in sight of all And thinke you you shall not be hangde yes trust to it you shall Among the goblins blacke of hell descended Christ belowe And you emong the grisly fiends to hell must likewise goe Christ beyng thence returnde againe on Gods right hande doeth sitte But you shall neuer thence returne once plungde in Plutos pitte To Andreas Goueanus his brother I Brother caught an Hare He fell to your share Who caught this Hare declare Againe I Brother caught an Hare it fell to your lot To eate hym so an Hare I loste and so an Hare I got To Zebedeus NE woords of men nor yet the Senators decree Can make thee laie awaie thy heard so faire it seemes to thee The man whose beard hym noble makes he is not noble he But who his beard nobilitates he noble seemes to mee CLAVDIVS ROSELETTVS A Lute of fir tree IN Forrest when I livd I had no sound nor voyce But made a Lute with siluer sound mens hartes I do reioyce Against womens lightnes THe Plume the Pumice stone the ayre in lightnes doe surpasse The Plume the Pumice stone the ayre in lightnes women passe To Syluius a louely lad but lewdly liued IN all thy body bewty shines thy forhed shineth fair Thy mouth doth shine thy nose thy chin thy glisteryng golden hayre But Syluius as a stinkyng sinke thy brest is foule within Thy mynd is spotted spatted spilt thy soule is soyld with sinne Ah painted Toomb stuft full of stink more lothsum nought we finde Than he that faire hath all thinges saue his manners and his mynd The Back SHe skirryng flittereth as a byrd and as a beast she goth Fourfooted and yet nether she is counted of them both She feedes breedes her yong with milke she layes ne hatches eggs Blacke lether wings and teeth she hath twoo lipps and also leggs To a towardly yong man. ALthough the roote of Vertue seeme bitter to thee in taste Yet doe not spit it out the frute shall pleasant be at last To a certaine Barber IF but to shaue my beard alone I Peter sent for thee Together both of purse and berd why hast thou shauen mee Against a Churle or thankles person A Cuntry wight with pitty prickt as writers earst haue told Tooke vp a Snake rakt vp in snow quight curld almost with cold And plast hym in his bosom warme againe to life once brought He strikes and stings the man to death that for hym so had wrought Vnthankfull as thou art euen so thy frend thou dost requite Thou givst hym for a Pearch receavd a Scorpion that doth bite To a Theef THy feete are slow thy speach is slow thy mynd and all is slow But sure thy hands to filche and steal they be not slow I knowe When as thy filchyng fingers false to pick thou doth prepare Remember still what punishments for theeues ordayned are An Epitaphe of an excellent Shipmaster or Pilote NEptune on Sea gaue luck to thee Mars made thee strong on land to be Now ioye thou hast with Ioue on hye aboue the glisteryng golden skye Great once wast thou on sea and land now great in heuen where starres do stand CLAVDIVS CLAVDIANVS Of a Bore and a Lion. THe cruell Bore and Lyon curst together fierce did fight The Bore of bristles bragd in maine did lye the Lions might Mars one the other Cibel laudes fightyng in bloudie broile Bothe kept on MouÌ„taines bothe wer foâ—ld by Hercules his toyle Of a poore man in loue ME pinchyng penurie doeth paine and Cupid wounds my harte I hunger can abide but not of loue the bitter smarte I liue and lacke I liue and loue want doeth men sore annoye But sorer muche the frantick flames of Cupid blinded boye IACOBVS ROGERIVS Vnder Hercules painted spinnyng WHat brynges not loue to passe what doeth not loue constraine It causd stoute Hercules to spinne by whom were monsters slaine Against the riche vnlearned out of Laertius WHat tyme Diogines a dolte in purple did beholde I see saied he a selie shepe in fell and fleece of golde Of three Grecians writers of Tragedies THree Grecian Poets tragicall did leaue their liues and dye Moste straungely as the stories of the Grecians testifie The firste ycleped Sophocles as writers sundrie saie Was chockt with kurnell of a grape that in his throate did staie Euripides the seconde that from women did refraine By cursed hap with cruell curres was all to torne and slaine Now Aeschilus the thirde and laste an Egle from an hye Let fall a shell vppon his pate whiche kilde hym by and by GEORGIVS BVCHANANVS SCOTVS Of Rome I Nothyng muse a Shepheard doeth in Rome the scepter holde Sith that a Shepheard built the same as sundrie bookes haue tolde And sith the founder of the same with Wouluishe milke was fedde I maruell nothyng I at all though Rome of Woulues be spedde But this me thinketh wondrous straunge that safe a flocke should rest In Rome with rauenyng murdryng woulues and neuer be opprest Against Pope Pius POpe Pius heauen for money solde Death will not let hym staie In yearth then needes to hell belowe Pope P. must take his waie Fratres EXTRA MVNDVM THese Omnia Munda doe defile with finger taile and tong In Mundo merito thei saie thei dwell not men among H. STEPHANVS Of Auctus a swilbole ALone to taste vp Auctus quast a bole with wine full fraught Ne was he yet content with this but askt an other draught The gobler was not washt he saied and bad them fill againe Whiche doen he drinkes a freshe and letts no drop behinde remaine Now that so muche he doeth require alone to taste and trie How muche trowe you will he desire attacht with thirst and drie Of the booke whiche Vincentius Obsopoeus wrote of the feat of drinkyng WHy doest the Germans teache that arte in whiche thei skilfull bee Why are so many Doctors tell made schollers vnto thee Gul bib and bole carouse and quaffe eche can in Germany Thou shouldst haue taught theÌ„ rather then the waie how to be drie Of Aulus WHat Aulus doeth I doe not aske but whether of these twoo Or drinke or slepe for nothyng els doeth Aulus vse to