how_o glorious_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o unveil_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o thou_o as_o a_o physician_n to_o poor_a sick_a soul_n which_o discovery_n of_o he_o as_o it_o be_v very_o glorious_a so_o most_o suitable_a to_o the_o present_a estate_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v as_o i_o trust_v i_o may_v true_o say_v sick_a of_o its_o self_n of_o all_o its_o way_n and_o doubt_n and_o fail_n to_o all_o my_o relation_n &_o conversation_n and_o o_o how_o sweet_a and_o seasonable_a be_v it_o now_o to_o hear_v of_o such_o a_o physician_n as_o he_o be_v glorious_o hold_v out_o to_o be_v from_o that_o 9_o matth._n 12._o and_o for_o the_o other_o suit_n in_o cause_v my_o soul_n deep_o to_o fall_v in_o love_n with_o he_o and_o to_o be_v real_o take_v off_o from_o all_o thing_n else_o even_o for_o this_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v until_o the_o same_o lord_n shall_v please_v to_o give_v in_o as_o gracious_a a_o answer_n which_o i_o trust_v he_o will_v also_o do_v in_o his_o due_a time_n and_o for_o those_o request_n put_v up_o this_o morning_n i_o can_v not_o but_o acknowledge_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v great_o to_o bow_v down_o and_o give_v i_o a_o sensible_a token_n of_o his_o glorious_a and_o gracious_a presence_n through_o which_o that_o present_a mercy_n in_o prayer_n every_o word_n come_v as_o it_o be_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n in_o both_o the_o prayer_n before_o and_o after_o sermon_n be_v the_o very_a groan_n and_o breathe_n of_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o every_o word_n in_o the_o sermon_n almost_o be_v as_o it_o be_v speak_v from_o heaven_n to_o my_o heart_n so_o full_o and_o in_o those_o very_a thing_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v at_o that_o very_a time_n burden_a withal_o and_o i_o think_v to_o have_v vent_v to_o mr._n knight_n our_o dear_a pastor_n the_o day_n before_o which_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v i_o in_o i_o real_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v have_v so_o clear_a and_o gracious_a a_o sight_n of_o god_n in_o this_o his_o appearance_n but_o shall_v have_v think_v sure_o he_o have_v speak_v those_o thing_n in_o relation_n to_o i_o but_o bless_v be_v that_o god_n that_o order_v thing_n so_o as_o to_o give_v his_o poor_a creature_n a_o more_o clear_a sight_n of_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n even_o as_o a_o prayer-hearing_a god_n and_o all_o this_o notwithstanding_o the_o rebellion_n of_o my_o spirit_n even_o under_o the_o hope_n of_o his_o appearance_n break_v out_o into_o that_o rash_a and_o sinful_a word_n be_v exceed_o weary_v go_v up_o and_o down_o westminster-hall_n and_o to_o whitehall_n and_o to_o and_o fro_o up_o and_o down_o then_o as_o i_o say_v do_v the_o passion_n of_o my_o wicked_a spirit_n cause_v i_o to_o break_v out_o into_o this_o foolish_a sinful_a expression_n say_v if_o i_o have_v know_v this_o i_o will_v not_o have_v come_v out_o this_o day_n when_o as_o perhaps_o the_o lord_n intent_n by_o it_o be_v to_o try_v i_o and_o make_v the_o folly_n of_o my_o heart_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o see_v how_o my_o faith_n can_v bear_v up_o against_o those_o discouragement_n and_o bodily_a trial_n for_o my_o body_n be_v much_o distemper_v and_o in_o this_o my_o walk_v up_o and_o down_o i_o have_v a_o pain_n take_v i_o under_o my_o side_n that_o strike_v through_o my_o breast_n to_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o look_v every_o moment_n when_o i_o shall_v fall_v down_o in_o the_o street_n as_o i_o go_v along_o and_o as_o i_o come_v back_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o my_o rebellion_n and_o repent_v of_o my_o journey_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v not_o to_o do_v by_o i_o as_o righteous_o he_o may_v for_o he_o repent_v not_o of_o his_o intend_a kindness_n to_o i_o though_o i_o repent_v at_o my_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o it_o and_o though_o i_o be_v full_a of_o change_n yet_o he_o change_v not_o but_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v i_o back_o again_o to_o westminster_n and_o that_o in_o due_a time_n i_o be_v glad_a and_o begin_v to_o recover_v my_o spirit_n again_o o_o how_o be_v my_o heart_n fill_v as_o it_o be_v with_o this_o exceed_a appearance_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o some_o measure_n enlarge_v that_o evening_n to_o bless_v his_o name_n who_o have_v so_o often_o appear_v and_o to_o all_o add_v the_o mercy_n of_o this_o day_n manifest_v self_n to_o be_v a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n but_o o_o that_o curse_a unbelief_n of_o my_o wicked_a heart_n that_o have_v have_v so_o much_o and_o so_o manifold_a appearance_n of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o goodness_n and_o shall_v yet_o trust_v he_o no_o more_o which_o also_o great_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o to_o crucify_v my_o unbelief_n but_o i_o confess_v this_o be_v it_o that_o often_o give_v the_o turn_n and_o draw_v a_o cloud_n as_o it_o be_v before_o i_o even_o the_o mighty_a prevalence_n of_o corruption_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o make_v i_o often_o to_o cry_v out_o lord_n when_o shall_v i_o see_v this_o body_n of_o death_n and_o sin_n subdue_v and_o crucify_v and_o my_o soul_n full_o subject_v to_o thou_o this_o be_v the_o burden_n of_o my_o soul_n even_o then_o when_o the_o lord_n shine_v forth_o most_o clear_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o think_v what_o a_o unsuitable_a frame_n of_o spirit_n be_v there_o in_o i_o to_o all_o those_o wonderful_a way_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o i_o that_o by_o all_o the_o sight_n he_o give_v i_o of_o himself_o and_o his_o will_n i_o be_o no_o more_o change_v into_o his_o likeness_n the_o 15_o day_n of_o this_o twelve_o month_n at_o night_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v exceed_o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o the_o root_n out_o of_o those_o corruption_n issue_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o creature_n and_o gather_v of_o it_o up_o into_o himself_o and_o order_v my_o affection_n and_o the_o like_a as_o also_o be_v great_o draw_v out_o to_o bless_v and_o praise_v he_o beseech_v he_o to_o enable_v i_o to_o it_o to_o bless_v he_o for_o his_o answer_n so_o often_o give_v i_o to_o the_o importunate_a desire_n and_o request_n of_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v so_o often_o tempt_v he_o for_o it_o be_v not_o israel_n only_o that_o tempt_v he_o ten_o time_n but_o i_o have_v often_o tempt_v he_o so_o that_o he_o may_v have_v righteous_o give_v that_o i_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o a_o curse_n together_o with_o it_o but_o i_o do_v now_o great_o desire_v to_o bless_v he_o that_o hitherto_o he_o have_v deny_v i_o in_o it_o beseech_v he_o so_o to_o do_v still_o and_o subject_a my_o soul_n to_o he_o in_o all_o my_o way_n beg_v he_o earnest_o that_o he_o will_v once_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o such_o assurance_n that_o i_o may_v be_v careful_a in_o nothing_o and_o in_o nothing_o thoughtful_a for_o or_o studious_a about_o any_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o to_o give_v up_o myself_o whole_o to_o be_v at_o his_o dispose_n yea_o more_o than_o ever_o i_o have_v be_v to_o any_o bodily_a physician_n beseech_v he_o now_o that_o he_o will_v undertake_v to_o be_v my_o soul_n physician_n and_o to_o cure_v i_o of_o those_o soul-distemper_n in_o my_o affection_n and_o practice_n let_v the_o physic_n be_v what_o he_o will_v let_v it_o but_o be_v of_o his_o prescribe_v and_o to_o support_v my_o spirit_n under_o his_o hand_n and_o make_v it_o willing_a to_o submit_v to_o his_o will_n and_o then_o lord_n do_v with_o i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o now_o father_n what_o be_v those_o request_n that_o thou_o will_v hear_v have_v thou_o not_o say_v what_o ever_o we_o ask_v in_o thy_o son_n name_n thou_o will_v hear_v why_o in_o thy_o son_n name_n i_o desire_v to_o come_v for_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o plead_v there_o be_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o for_o thy_o son_n sake_n the_o son_n of_o thy_o bosom_n and_o love_n who_o die_v for_o poor_a sinner_n such_o as_o thy_o poor_a worm_n be_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o in_o his_o name_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o and_o thou_o have_v say_v whatsoever_o we_o ask_v according_a to_o thy_o will_n thou_o will_v hear_v now_o lord_n be_v not_o this_o agreeable_a to_o thy_o will_n to_o be_v conform_v more_o to_o thou_o and_o have_v my_o will_n more_o subject_v to_o thou_o and_o my_o affection_n more_o place_v upon_o thou_o o_o then_o lord_n see_v thou_o say_v what_o we_o ask_v believe_v we_o shall_v have_v it_o lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n &_o help_v i_o to_o wait_v upon_o thou_o believe_o the_o eighteen_o of_o this_o twelve_o month_n have_v be_v these_o eight_o or_o nine_o day_n last_o pass_v somewhat_o distemper_v in_o body_n which_o distemper_n prevail_v more_o and_o
in_o his_o family_n upon_o his_o child_n and_o servant_n and_o by_o this_o mean_v this_o daughter_n and_o one_o of_o his_o servant_n be_v bring_v home_o unto_o the_o lord_n and_o which_o i_o mention_v as_o a_o alarm_n to_o the_o saint_n to_o the_o practice_n of_o this_o duty_n which_o seem_v in_o this_o licentious_a age_n to_o be_v so_o great_o neglect_v she_o have_v this_o honour_n to_o enjoy_v the_o endear_a affection_n of_o all_o saint_n that_o converse_v with_o she_o as_o be_v eminent_a in_o these_o grace_n first_o in_o love_n to_o all_o saint_n though_o of_o different_a judgement_n where_o she_o discern_v any_o character_n of_o christ_n image_n her_o heart_n delight_v in_o they_o which_o grace_n shine_v the_o more_o clear_o because_o she_o live_v in_o a_o time_n wherein_o the_o contrary_a evil_n must_v prevail_v again_o she_o be_v eminent_o exemplary_a in_o that_o holy_a art_n of_o the_o improvement_n of_o the_o society_n of_o the_o saint_n by_o serious_a propound_v of_o prepare_a question_n about_o matter_n of_o most_o infinite_a concernment_n with_o such_o wisdom_n in_o search_v out_o the_o deep_a of_o the_o treasure_n god_n have_v lay_v up_o in_o other_o heart_n that_o she_o grow_v abundant_o in_o experimental_a knowledge_n of_o save_a truth_n and_o be_v able_a and_o ready_a to_o communicate_v rich_o unto_o other_o she_o be_v a_o most_o diligent_a christian_a in_o attend_v all_o the_o ordinance_n and_o in_o every_o administration_n do_v hearken_v what_o god_n say_v to_o her_o soul_n and_o as_o her_o soul_n wait_v for_o some_o discovery_n of_o god_n so_o the_o shine_a forth_o of_o god_n in_o his_o counsel_n and_o comfort_n she_o do_v abundant_o enjoy_v she_o be_v a_o careful_a observer_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o find_v such_o profit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o the_o almighty_a that_o his_o day_n be_v her_o delight_n and_o she_o requent_o be_v fill_v in_o her_o soul_n as_o with_o marrow_n and_o fatness_n she_o be_v a_o steady_a christian_a in_o reel_a time_n and_o receive_v nothing_o for_o truth_n but_o what_o she_o will_v often_o weigh_v in_o the_o balance_n or_o the_o sanctuary_n and_o upon_o solid_a ground_n lay_v up_o in_o her_o heart_n or_o put_v forth_o in_o her_o practice_n and_o for_o her_o diligence_n and_o industry_n about_o heavenly_a thing_n she_o so_o far_o abound_v that_o whoever_o have_v the_o sight_n of_o her_o labour_n will_v not_o easy_o conceive_v so_o much_o can_v be_v do_v in_o one_o who_o life_n be_v so_o short_a she_o write_v her_o daily_a meditation_n upon_o the_o holy_a book_n of_o god_n which_o she_o keep_v in_o a_o book_n fair_a write_v she_o contract_v all_o she_o hear_v in_o the_o public_a ministry_n into_o a_o method_n &_o in_o a_o book_n in_o folio_n have_v fair_o transcribe_v some_o part_n of_o that_o work_n which_o will_v have_v contain_v the_o substance_n of_o all_o the_o labour_n of_o the_o minister_n of_o christ_n who_o ministry_n she_o be_v partaker_n of_o and_o in_o another_o have_v write_v all_o the_o attribute_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n that_o she_o can_v find_v in_o scripture_n for_o the_o strengthen_n of_o the_o say_v of_o believer_n the_o truth_n be_v she_o be_v a_o soul_n whole_o dedicate_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o her_o whole_a conversation_n humble_a and_o holy_a and_o tender-hearted_a one_o true_o wean_v from_o this_o world_n weary_a of_o it_o and_o often_o breathe_v out_o holy_a long_n to_o be_v with_o christ_n frequent_o say_v what_o be_v there_o in_o this_o dark_a world_n that_o shall_v cause_v a_o christian_n to_o desire_v to_o continue_v in_o it_o and_o as_o she_o long_v to_o be_v at_o home_n so_o the_o lord_n hasten_v the_o time_n and_o in_o her_o tender_a year_n gather_v she_o to_o himself_o and_o in_o her_o death_n she_o show_v forth_o a_o gracious_a frame_n of_o spirit_n and_o with_o holy_a confidence_n in_o christ_n resign_v herself_o to_o he_o and_o such_o be_v her_o holy_a jealousy_n of_o any_o pride_n or_o hypocrisy_n that_o may_v arise_v by_o discover_v of_o her_o labour_n that_o until_o she_o fall_v asleep_a in_o the_o lord_n her_o writing_n come_v not_o to_o the_o view_n of_o any_o thus_o this_o bless_a soul_n walk_v with_o the_o lord_n and_o these_o thing_n be_v record_v of_o she_o for_o our_o example_n that_o we_o may_v tread_v in_o her_o step_n and_o be_v follower_n of_o she_o as_o he_o she_o follow_v christ_n which_o be_v the_o hearty_a desire_n of_o he_o who_o be_v a_o servant_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n isaac_n knight_n o_o my_o soul_n what_o have_v be_v the_o method_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o lord_n work_v that_o effectual_a work_n of_o he_o upon_o thy_o heart_n which_o thou_o have_v some_o comfortable_a hope_n be_v begin_v by_o he_o and_o shall_v be_v carry_v on_o in_o thy_o soul_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o own_o grace_n set_v they_o down_o as_o the_o lord_n shall_v enable_v thou_o according_a as_o he_o have_v be_v please_v from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o from_o year_n to_o year_n to_o make_v it_o out_o to_o thou_o that_o so_o if_o the_o lord_n please_v it_o may_v stand_v thou_o instead_o in_o a_o evil_a day_n i_o mean_v a_o day_n of_o inward_a or_o outward_a affliction_n and_o the_o lord_n help_v thou_o to_o do_v it_o as_o in_o his_o sight_n who_o be_v the_o searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n and_o know_v better_a than_o thou_o do_v what_o work_v himself_o have_v wrought_v in_o thou_o but_o so_o far_o as_o he_o have_v or_o shall_v please_v to_o enable_v thou_o to_o discern_v it_o in_o thy_o own_o heart_n set_v it_o down_o and_o let_v it_o lie_v upon_o record_n against_o all_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n that_o great_a adversary_n of_o thy_o soul_n in_o the_o year_n 1635_o when_o i_o be_v yet_o very_o young_a being_n not_o at_o the_o most_o full_a nine_o year_n old_a the_o lord_n be_v please_v through_o the_o preach_n of_o his_o word_n as_o i_o conceive_v together_o with_o my_o father_n repeat_v and_o far_a press_v it_o home_o upon_o our_o spirit_n to_o begin_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o to_o give_v in_o some_o kind_n of_o desire_n after_o the_o best_a thing_n whereupon_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v some_o delight_n in_o hear_v the_o word_n but_o most_o of_o all_o in_o read_v to_o myself_o in_o which_o i_o then_o spend_v many_o hour_n if_o not_o whole_a day_n the_o lord_n set_v the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o so_o home_o upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o to_o convince_v i_o both_o of_o my_o sinful_a and_o miserable_a condition_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o continual_a breach_n of_o his_o holy_a law_n and_o grieve_v the_o spirit_n of_o my_o parent_n the_o which_o be_v much_o set_v home_o upon_o i_o by_o read_v mr._n dod_n upon_o the_o commandment_n and_o the_o like_a treatise_n whereupon_o i_o have_v a_o temptation_n to_o curse_v the_o day_n of_o my_o birth_n which_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o consent_v unto_o often_o wish_v that_o i_o have_v never_o be_v bear_v or_o at_o the_o least_o have_v dye_v from_o the_o breast_n as_o i_o see_v some_o of_o my_o brother_n esteem_v their_o condition_n to_o be_v much_o better_a than_o i_o they_o never_o live_v to_o commit_v any_o actual_a sin_n and_o therefore_o as_o i_o then_o think_v shall_v without_o all_o doubt_n go_v to_o heaven_n but_o for_o myself_o i_o do_v real_o think_v and_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v certain_o go_v to_o hell_n then_o be_v put_v out_o to_o board_n for_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n to_o one_o who_o pretend_v much_o skill_n and_o ability_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o some_o weakness_n that_o i_o then_o lay_v under_o which_o be_v a_o very_a profane_a family_n although_o i_o be_v yet_o very_o young_a yet_o be_v so_o contrary_a to_o those_o way_n i_o have_v be_v bring_v up_o in_o to_o come_v now_o to_o hear_v continual_a curse_v and_o swear_v and_o profane_v the_o lord_n day_n and_o be_v force_v to_o be_v in_o their_o company_n not_o dare_v by_o reason_n of_o those_o fear_n i_o then_o lay_v under_o to_o be_v alone_o and_o so_o sometime_o prevail_v with_o once_o or_o twice_o to_o play_v upon_o the_o lord_n day_n i_o think_v myself_o all_o this_o while_n to_o be_v in_o the_o belly_n of_o hell_n be_v thereunto_o condemn_v by_o my_o own_o conscience_n so_o that_o i_o can_v receive_v no_o contentment_n in_o all_o the_o fullness_n of_o those_o outward_a thing_n which_o i_o there_o enjoy_v but_o be_v restless_a until_o i_o get_v home_o again_o be_v yet_o only_o convince_v of_o my_o actual_a evil_n but_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n and_o other_o private_a instruction_n go_v along_o with_o it_o to_o convince_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n of_o my_o original_a corruption_n that_o i_o bring_v into_o the_o
&_o 66._o 16._o 1_o tim._n 1._o 13_o 14_o 15_o 16._o act._n 22._o there_o be_v also_o sudden_o after_o this_o present_v to_o i_o as_o one_o thing_n that_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v at_o in_o this_o touch_n of_o he_o even_o to_o mind_n i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o that_o degree_n of_o compassion_n or_o fellow_n feel_v as_o i_o ought_v of_o that_o affliction_n which_o in_o some_o respect_n in_o the_o same_o kind_n though_o in_o a_o great_a degree_n lie_v upon_o our_o sister_n arnat_a by_o reason_n of_o a_o great_a fever_n and_o doubtless_o there_o may_v be_v something_o in_o this_o though_o i_o shall_v also_o wrong_v myself_o shall_v i_o not_o acknowledge_v much_o and_o continue_a work_v in_o my_o heart_n for_o and_o towards_o she_o which_o oft_o occasion_v i_o to_o spread_v her_o condition_n before_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o my_o poor_a measure_n but_o upon_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o 11_o month_n in_o the_o night_n i_o have_v little_a or_o no_o rest_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a distemper_n which_o lie_v upon_o i_o and_o real_o i_o do_v not_o well_o know_v whether_o the_o distemper_n of_o my_o body_n or_o my_o mind_n be_v the_o great_a but_o both_o meeting_n it_o lay_v somewhat_o heavy_a upon_o the_o flesh_n which_o think_v itself_o ready_a to_o give_v up_o under_o it_o but_o my_o thought_n be_v continual_o work_v i_o find_v in_o my_o spirit_n a_o great_a natural_a reluctancy_n against_o death_n which_o seem_v at_o time_n as_o it_o be_v to_o approach_v often_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a in_o natural_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v continue_v until_o morning_n yet_o say_v i_o nothing_o for_o fear_v of_o affright_v my_o mother_n yet_o have_v i_o also_o between_o time_n a_o great_a desire_n together_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o persuasion_n that_o for_o all_o this_o i_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o hear_v mr._n knight_n next_o morning_n who_o turn_n it_o be_v to_o preach_v at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n thus_o i_o say_v find_v in_o my_o spirit_n some_o kind_n of_o reluctancy_n at_o death_n of_o which_o consider_v a_o little_a it_o be_v that_o corruption_n which_o i_o think_v have_v now_o be_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n crucify_v but_o find_v it_o still_o to_o work_v up_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o which_o together_o with_o many_o other_o fear_n that_o lay_v upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o sanctify_v the_o name_n of_o god_n or_o honour_v he_o under_o this_o affliction_n which_o be_v indeed_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o trouble_n at_o the_o approach_n of_o death_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n in_o any_o measure_n that_o only_o which_o i_o resolve_v in_o myself_o to_o declare_v to_o some_o friend_n i_o shall_v meet_v at_o fulham_n next_o day_n if_o the_o lord_n shall_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o go_v and_o so_o beg_v their_o remembrance_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n but_o be_v enable_v to_o consider_v better_o of_o it_o i_o be_v give_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o but_o a_o mere_a temptation_n to_o distrust_v the_o power_n and_o love_n of_o god_n to_o think_v as_o if_o he_o shall_v now_o bring_v i_o into_o that_o condition_n that_o he_o will_v not_o carry_v i_o through_o whereupon_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o gather_v up_o my_o spirit_n a_o little_a and_o in_o some_o better_a measure_n to_o submit_v to_o the_o hand_n and_o will_n of_o my_o father_n which_o i_o be_v now_o assure_v shall_v certain_o end_v in_o his_o glory_n and_o my_o good_a and_o to_o this_o end_n i_o be_v now_o also_o enable_v again_o to_o call_v over_o that_o bless_a promise_n in_o rom._n 8._o 28._o that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v yea_o work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n etc._n etc._n which_o promise_n i_o have_v often_o find_v by_o experience_n have_v be_v make_v good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v therefore_o much_o trouble_v that_o any_o distrustful_a thought_n shall_v arise_v in_o i_o concern_v it_o divers_z other_o promise_n also_o before_o mention_v be_v now_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o wrought_v afresh_o upon_o my_o heart_n which_o do_v exceed_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n so_o that_o the_o first_o refreshment_n which_o i_o find_v be_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o after_o that_o be_v a_o little_a quiet_v i_o have_v a_o little_a short_a slumber_n and_o do_v the_o lord_n so_o far_o mitigate_v my_o bodily_a distemper_n as_o that_o it_o do_v not_o hinder_v i_o from_o that_o bless_a opportunity_n next_o day_n though_o accompany_v with_o much_o bodily_a weakness_n but_o upon_o the_o 2_o day_n of_o the_o 12_o month_n 1652._o i_o find_v my_o distemper_n of_o body_n much_o abate_v in_o so_o much_o as_o i_o think_v it_o be_v now_o quite_o go_v but_o that_o very_a night_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o return_v yea_o to_o heighten_v it_o constrain_a i_o to_o keep_v house_n certain_a day_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v that_o this_o work_n upon_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o yet_o accomplish_v nor_o i_o full_o acquaint_v with_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n in_o it_o which_o be_v some_o trouble_n to_o i_o whereupon_o i_o again_o beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o acquaint_v i_o with_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n in_o it_o and_o to_o sanctify_v it_o unto_o i_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o submit_v to_o whatsoever_o he_o have_v yet_o further_o to_o lay_v upon_o i_o in_o which_o i_o also_o seek_v the_o prayer_n of_o his_o people_n upon_o the_o 6_o of_o this_o month_n but_o upon_o the_o seven_o day_n of_o this_o month_n providence_n offer_v some_o occasion_n whereby_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o the_o thought_n of_o part_v with_o my_o aunt_n dogget_n who_o be_v upon_o remove_n into_o the_o country_n with_o many_o thought_n there_o about_o which_o be_v now_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n which_o occasion_v such_o a_o heavyness_n to_o possess_v my_o spirit_n upon_o other_o account_n also_o which_o come_v in_o to_o add_v to_o the_o other_o in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o it_o until_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o vent_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n at_o which_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o this_o be_v mere_o to_o return_v as_o it_o be_v from_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o creature_n for_o comfort_n and_o support_v as_o if_o he_o be_v not_o able_a abundant_o to_o make_v up_o in_o himself_o the_o want_n of_o such_o a_o comfort_n and_o relation_n if_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o deprive_v i_o of_o it_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o do_v much_o grieve_v i_o then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o show_v i_o how_o i_o have_v continual_o provoke_v he_o in_o this_o kind_n by_o lean_v upon_o such_o poor_a reed_n and_o dige_v to_o myself_o such_o poor_a pit_n such_o break_a cistern_n as_o can_v indeed_o hold_v no_o water_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n too_o much_o neglect_v he_o the_o fountain_n of_o live_a water_n jer._n 2._o 13._o yea_o while_o i_o be_v thus_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o he_o and_o lament_v my_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a folly_n he_o be_v please_v also_o to_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o that_o part_n of_o scripture_n i_o find_v record_v in_o 1_o king_n 11._o 9_o how_o the_o lord_n be_v angry_a with_o solomon_n because_o his_o heart_n be_v turn_v from_o the_o lord_n god_n of_o israel_n which_o have_v appear_v to_o he_o twice_o even_o so_o i_o see_v the_o lord_n have_v just_a cause_n to_o be_v angry_a with_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v thus_o again_o return_v to_o the_o creature_n and_o as_o it_o be_v make_v a_o god_n of_o it_o yea_o after_o such_o eminent_a appearance_n of_o his_o to_o my_o soul_n the_o same_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o severe_a threaten_n against_o moab_n who_o have_v be_v at_o ease_n from_o his_o youth_n and_o be_v settle_v on_o his_o lees_n who_o have_v not_o be_v empty_v from_o vessel_n to_o vessel_n neither_o have_v go_v into_o captivity_n and_o therefore_o his_o taste_n remain_v in_o he_o and_o his_o scent_n be_v not_o change_v jer._n 48._o 11_o now_o find_v this_o give_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n as_o the_o reason_n why_o his_o scent_n remain_v even_o because_o he_o have_v not_o be_v empty_v etc._n etc._n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v and_o wonder_n what_o reason_n can_v be_v give_v of_o the_o corruption_n in_o my_o heart_n who_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o leave_v at_o ease_n but_o have_v often_o empty_v from_o vessel_n to_o vessel_n as_o it_o be_v try_v always_o and_o mean_v with_o i_o and_o yet_o that_o i_o shall_v still_o savour_v so_o much_o of_o the_o earth_n and_o of_o the_o old_a man_n and_o shall_v still_o so_o incline_v to_o depend_v upon_o a_o arm_n of_o flesh_n 2_o chron._n 32._o