then himself and dwelt in that man and the latter end of that man was worse then his beginning When I heard this I feared my heart feared I feared that my repentance and praying and all was nought and that God hath almost quite cast me off Then I considered how I fell into these sins I remembred that the Serpent did deceive the woman she the man and thereby brought sin and thereupon God punished both the man and the woman Hearing this my heart thought Surely I am a great sinner and I was born in sin because my parents were sinners and so am I I have sinned against God and I was born in sin My Parents broke that Command Thou shalt have no other gods but Mee but they served many gods and so did I and therefore the earth bringeth forth thorns and weeds unto man when he laboreth therefore by this I remembred my troublesom life and all is because God is offended at me because of my sins And then I remembred that many of my children are dead this is Gods punishment on me because of my sins Sometime men punished me and were offended at me but now I remembred my sins against God and I saw that the punishments of God are a greater matter Again I heard that word that hee that keepeth his word shall finde mercy I thought so it is indeed but I am a sinner I considered what I should do because I was a sinner and born in sin and have lived in sin I considered assuredly there is a God and God made heaven and earth and all that is therein and all destructions and deaths are the work of God I remembred my vain praying to God and considered what to do I confessed my sins before God and begged pardon for Christ his sake I did finde I could not deliver my self but Christ only is my deliverer and my heart desired to believe and pray to him and yet knew not what to do nor how to please God and get pardon only I prayed Oh Christ deliver mee because I am a sinner and know not what to do Then I remembred that God layeth on us two deaths in this world First the soul is dead and wee are made guilty of Adams sin and have lost Gods Image and hereby my soul is a fool and hereby my soul is dead and a man dead can do nothing nor speak nor go nor stand and verily so is my soul dead and I shall fall to eternal damnation by sin Therefore now I cry to God to help mee for I am throughly a sinner After I heard that God pardoneth penitent believers and I remember the word of Ionas when he was almost cast off he repented and God made a Whale to eat him up and then he looked to God and cryed for mercy and then I saw that if I cry for mercy and believe I shall have pardon I heard that Christ healed all manner of diseases therefore I believed that Christ is the Son of God able to heal and pardon all Now I confess I know nothing almost nothing at all Again Christ saith Hee that is not with mee is against mee my heart said True it is so so must I do I must be with Christ and Hee that gathereth not scattereth I said So it is with mee I have so done I scatter and am a stranger to Christ And I did not truly love them that prayed to God but I was a stranger in heart unto them But now I desire in my heart to do as they do and our poor teaching I desire to obey it and do what God bids and what he saith you shall not do that I desire not to do But yet again I do sin and my sins troubled me by hearing the word of God and yet I would do them I heard that God will pardon all kinde of sins that men sin but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be pardoned in this world nor in that which is to come Then I fear'd that I was such an one and that God would not pardon me Then I earnestly entreated God to pardon and deliver me because he was the true deliverer Again I heard that word that they that are well need not the Physitian but the sick My heart said True I did even so I sought not help when I was well but now I remember my sins and now my soul is dead and now I desire that my soul may live and I desire the Physitian of my soul to heal mee and Christ will not in vain heal souls but such as convert from sin and believe in Christ their sins Christ pardoneth this my soul doth earnestly beseech of Christ and else I know not what to do Again I heard that Christ dyed for our sins when we are sinners Again Mat. 26. Christ saith This is my blood of the New Testament which is shed for many for the remission of sins my heart said Yea Lord let it be so for my soul and let me not be a stranger any more before thee I know not what to do Lord help I desire to be washed from all my filthy sins and to be baptized as a sign of it I am as a dead man in my soul and desire to live Ponampam A Little I shall speak I was young about 8 years old when my father lived I did play as other children did and my father did chide me for playing I wondered at it for he said we shall all die I wondered and sat amazed about half an hour but I soon forgot it That Winter the Pox came and almost all our kindred dyed I and my mother came to the Bay and there dwelt till we pray'd to God but I did nothing but sin as the rest of the world did Then hearing the word of God I heard that from the rising of the sun to the setting thereof my Name shall be known among the Gentiles therefore all must pray to God But my heart did not desire that but to go away to some other place But remembring the word of God that all shall pray to God Then I did not desire to go away but to pray to God But if I pray afore the Sachems pray I fear they will kill me and therefore I will not pray But yet when others prayed I prayed with them and I thought if I run away to other places they will pray too therefore I will pray here Then on a Sabbath none taught and some bid me teach what the Minister had taught us but I feared and durst not for fear of the Sachems yet they urged me and I did And I taught them what I remembred and they were angry at me and we fell out and I went away I thought that my praying would be in vain and I laid by praying and there was Paw-wauing but I doubted to do that because I had prayed and I did think they would laugh at me After I returned again and was among them which prayed but my heart
speak it I confesse that in my mothers belly I was defiled in sin my father and mother prayed to many gods and I heard them when they did so and I did so too because my parents did so and in my childhood afore I could act sin I did delight in it as dancing and Pawwaug and when they did so they prayed to many gods as Beasts Birds Earth Sea Trees c. After I was born I did all such things I loved lust when I was a youth though I did act these lusts but a little But when I had a little begun my heart did very much desire more to do such sins I saw the English keep Sabbath I cared not but played and catch't birds or any thing yet when I saw Englishmen I ran away on the Sabbath day because they should not see mee As yet I knew not of great sins as Murder Adultery then some Indians said we must pray to God When I was in English houses I saw them pray and I thought it a vain work They said there was but one God I thought nay there be many Gods When Indians said Wee will pray my heart said No I will not so long as I live Yet I heard more and more of praying to God and that my brothers prayed to God but my heart said Praying to God is vain After I heard Waban did pray and my brothers Wompoâ—as and Toteswoâ—mp yet my heart said No I am well enough I have not so sinned as other men I am no Murderer Adulterer c. Then I ran away yet I was not much troubled because my brothers prayed A little after I came and my brother said to mee I pray you pray to God I answered him not but my heart said No yet I was troubled because I heard my brothers I thought if any should kill my brothers I would kill him if any Warrs were I would go with my brothers only I thought of my love to my brothers and then that if my brother make Warr I would go with him to kill men Now he prayes shall not I go with my brothâ—â—â—◠〈◊〉 my brothers love me and they both pray to God 〈◊〉 should not I They prayed morning and 〈…〉 they eat and on Sabbath dayes then I thought I would do so but it was not for love of God or fear of God but because I loved my brothers Again when I came to Noonantam I heard the Minister preach and I desired to hear what he 〈…〉 taught but I understood not 〈…〉 because I understood stood 〈…〉 to hear I heard some youths 〈…〉 Roxbury My brother said to me Go you because you may learn Smithery For that reason I did go but desired not to learn to pray all these things were vain When we came to Roxbury I said I desired to learn Smithery But my Master said I may not teach him my Trade lest Indians learn to make Locks and Guns Then I would not dwell with him and thought to cast off praying and thought I would forsake my brothers My brother perswaded mee to dwell one year there but I would not yet at last I did dwell there one year and went to meeting but in vain for I understood not one word After that year I returned to Noonantam and then I heard that God made all the world but yet I did not pray to God one jot but still sinned and especially the sin of Lust I made light of any sin I heard and understood the Commands of God Thou shalt not murder commit adultery steal bear false witness covet and that made me afraid to commit sin afore man lest I should be punished or put to death but I feared not God After I heard the Minister ask Who made you A. God and Who redeemed you A. Christ and Who must sanctifie you The holy Ghost and that God made Heaven Earth Sea c. then I a little considered of God who made all this world and then I was afraid I saw that no man could make these things and that therefore we must pray to God Then my heart said Assuredly it is so God made all things and made mee and I must pray to him After this my brothers were sick and I prayed God Oh that they may live and then I heard that now God tryeth mee whether I will pray or no I confesse I have done many sins especially lust though I had not been a Murderer or the like But then my brothers and kindred dyed then my heart said Sure it 's a vain thing to pray to God for I prayed yet my friends dyeâ— therefore I will run wilde and did cast off praying I did not pray morning and night and at meat only on the Sabbath day I came to meeting but I cared not for hearing nor did I believe any thing I heard but I still lived in sin and my heart said I will run away for here we are hindred from sin in other places I may freely sin Then my brothers which lived were troubled for mee Then I said I will abide with my brothers because I love them but not because I would pray Then that Winter God broke my head I knew but little I was almost dead Then my heart said Now I know God is angry with mee for my sins and hath therefore smote mee then I prayed hard when I was almost dead I remembred my sins much and considered them much I remembred that God made all the world and therefore assuredly there is a God I heard that God made Adam and made him in his own image Gen. 1. and assuredly none but God could make all the world heaven earth sea c. then I did believe that God did make the world Again I confesse I saw that I had offended against God and sinn'd against him and that I had the root of sin in me and that I had deserved all miseries and death and hell I heard that God made a Covenant with Adam and forbad him to eat of the Tree in the midst of the Garden and yet he did eat and therefore God was angry with man and I was born in sin and therefore God was angry with me and because I have sometime forsaken God and run wilde therefore I now know my sin and my offence against God I desire no more to cast off God and prayer for now I know my sins and that I have deserved misery therefore now I desired to pray to God as long as I live I desired pardon of my sins and I thought it may be God will pardon mee and my heart prayed to God Oh God if thou give mee life again I will assuredly believe and obey and now I know my sins by the sin of Adam but when I had thus done quickly my heart would be vain again After my wound when I came to my self and awaked I saw my sin and promised God to pray unto him when I saw the mercy of God was so great unto mee I heard that word
answered Who knoweth that and who can witness that He said The Minister is sent of God and sheweth us Gods Word and hee by that teacheth us Then I promised Waban that when hee came again I would pray to God Then Toteswamp came and exhorted me to pray to God and told me of Christ and pardon of sin and then almost my heart prayed to God Then I said English men understand not me and does God understand me They said God made all◠and understands all then I said I will pray to God Then I heard first that God made heaven and earth and all things and in six dayes finished them and also made man in his own Image wise and holy like God Then I heard that Satan came and tempted Eve and cozened her and she tempted the man And God had said Eat not of the tree in the midst of the Garden if yee eat thereof yee shall dye yet she did eat and gave unto man and he did eat and thereby he sinned and all his posterity became sinful and deserved damnation Then my heart said What shall I do and I prayed for my children for now I hear of eternal damnation and sure I am a great sinner Again I heard the Minister preach That Christ was born like a man and was both God and man and dyed for us and sheweth us the way of eternal life Then I cryed Oh Lord give me Christ because Christ hath dyed for us and hath made his righteousness ours and our sins are Christs as Adam made his sin ours Now my heart was broken and I saw that I was a great sinner When I heard of the great works of Christ I said Oh what shall I do that I may get Christ I said in my heart Oh let the holy Spirit help me for I am ashamed of my sins melted is my heart and I desire pardon of all my sins now I desire to forsake all my sins and now I desire dayly to quench lusts and wash off filth and cast out all my sins by the blood of Jesus Christ and this I do by believing in Jesus Christ Gen. 6. there was only one Noah righteous and God saved him then my heart said Oh mercifull God who savest them that trust in thee save mee Again God made his Covenant with Abraham and with all the seed of Abraham now I desire to have this Covenant and to receive this Commandement of Christ Abraham was strong in faith and followed Christ and my heart doth desire to follow Christ because he hath dyed for us Wutásakómpauin OH Christ help mee I confess my sins before God and before men We are all born in sin because Adam sinned and made his sin ours Our Parents knew not God nor the way of life we Indians are all sinners and did all sins afore we heard of God we did pray to every thing that is in the world and knew not the way of life When English men came first we did pray to the Devil and many were our sins and God doth know all our sins all which we have committed before the English came After the English came I went to Sudbury to Mr Browns house and he said to me Pray to God but I did not like it nor to hear of praying to God but afterwards I heard Waban prayed to God and I was not glad of it yet after Waban prayed he told us of it and that the Minister came to Noonantam I heard him and he taught that the souls of good men die and go to heaven the souls of the wicked when they die they go to hell but I only heard it Then we resolved we would pray to God and carry our children to Roxbury that they might learn to pray but we feared that we should not learn to pray After the Minister taught that word that every man himself must pray and believe to be saved and though your sons be at Roxbury and learn to pray yet if you pray not you must be damned Again I heard many words of God this was one Therefore watch for ye know not the day or hour when the Lord will come When I heard that I knew not what to do nor do I know when is the day of death But I am full of sin and when I die Christ will not receive me because I am so full of sin After that my wise dyed and then weak was my heart almost I left praying to God but yet I did not so But after I heard that word of God Who ever heareth the word and doeth it is like a wise builder who built on a rock and when the storms and floods came and beat upon the house it stood because it was built upon a rock But hee that heareth the word and doth it not is like a foolish builder who built upon the sand and the storms and floods came and beat upon that house and it fell because it was built on the sand By this I saw that I was a foolish builder because the death of my wife did almost make me leave praying to God After I had another wife and shee dyed also Then I heard that word That it is Gods love by afflictions to call us to repentance and therefore my heart said Oh Lord I will pray Oh Lord help me Again I heard another word that at the end of the world all must appear before the Iudgment Seat of Christ and therefore now confess all your sins and repent because Christ hath writ down all your actions both good and bad and all shall be opened and therefore repent of your sins that they may be pardoned Then I said I am a great sinner and ever I commit sin I confesse I have deserved hell and I cannot deliver my self but I beg of God Oh Lord give me Christ and I give my soul to Christ that all my sins may be pardond and I now confess my sins before man but at the end of the world I must be judged by Jesus Christ Now I desire the spirit of God would help me to confess all my sins to God that they may be pardoned in Jesus Christ THese Confessions I wrote in English from their mouthes with the best of my endeavours both for diligence and also faithfulness and so soon as they had done I read them unto the Elders and Brethren and Sisters there present and that the substance hereof was delivered by them and faithfully translated and delivered by me to the lest of my understanding I do here before the Lord testifie JOHN ELIOT I Did understand most things that some of those Indians spake and though others spake not so well to my understanding yet many things I understood of what they all spake and thus much I may testifie that according to what I understood the substance of their Confessions is here truly set down JOHN ELIOT jun. Waban being sick when the rest made their Confession after the Lord had restored him came to Roxbury and