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A68869 Epigrammes in the oldest cut, and newest fashion A twise seuen houres (in so many weekes) studie no longer (like the fashion) not vnlike to continue. The first seuen. Iohn Weeuer. Weever, John, 1576-1632. 1599 (1599) STC 25224; ESTC S103053 21,997 112

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vntimely know Spencer therfore thy Ruines were cal'd in Too soone to sorrow least we should begin Epig. 24 Ad Iacobum Thornton Thornton well read say not I do thee wrong In that I haue defer'd thy praise so long Thy gentleman-like parts when as I find With thy graue studies all in one combinde Faine would I praise thee but I see my skill Is now defectiue to my great good will Epig. 25 In Ed Wrightington If ventrous youth now in his chiefest prime To vertues loue be wholy thus addicted What doth graue ●ld with milke-white haires in Assure vs of one vice to be afflicted time For by and by the plant doth straight appeare Which afterward great store of fruit will beare To the right worshipfull sir Peter Leigh of Vnderline knight honored with all vertue coequall to his auncient worth FAmes prodigall reporte right Wor. of your admired curtesie and the no lesse vertuous then valorous disposition of Leighs antique family in whose praise a better Poet might spend whole quiers of paper perswade me you will reade ouer these few Epigrammes though farre differing from other wittes presented to the view of your Worship And weigh withal well affected good will so shall I ●●t●●ne my long desired wish and the end of this my worke Ioh Weeuer The seuenth weeke Epig. 1 Ad Thomam Gerard Militem GErard among the labours of my quill Which my glad Muse presumingly hath writ As one right worthie thee commend I will For valour wisedome bountihood and wit But valiant Gerard thee or thine to praise Is for to praise the star-bespangled skie Fame long agoe vnto the heauns did raise Thy rare exploits and Mars-like Chiualrie Sith by thy deedes thy praise abroad doth flie Thy selfe commends thy selfe then need not I. Epig 2 In carum fictum amicum Dost thou thinke Chloes hee's a faithfull friend For whō this wondrous cheer thou dost prouide No he but loues so long as thou wilt spend Thy beefe and brawne if that the truth were tride If euery day I should so costly dine Carus I know would be a friend of mine Epig. 3 In Sparsum Sparsus thou'rt sicke ten times a veere and more Yet not thy selfe but vs thy sicknesse hurts When thou recouers wee looke euermore For thy releefe some Pretour to disburse Fie in one yeere be sicke but once vnneath And when thou'rt sicke Sparsus be sicke to death Epig. 4 In Pontum This for a wonder many men haue made That Pontus house so many chimnies had The workmans skil I for the wonder tooke Which made thē so that few could see thē smoak Epig. 5 In Hugonem Did not once thine old familiar friend Chypus desire thee ten pounds to him lend Sir I haue none saidst thou so God me saue Yet for his horse eu'n then ten pound thou gaue Thus for ten pounds thou ●t sooner trust a horse Than thy dear friend be forsworn thats worse Epig 6 In eundem And dost thou thinke thou offers Claius right In causing him ten pounds of debt to pay Because that Boscus ran the other night With twenty hundred in thy debt away If thou canst lose by Boscus twentie then In faith by Claius thou may well lose ten Epig. 7. In Lacum Lacus I saw a cruell Cappe still weare O cruell cap that pulles away his haire I wondred much what plague had so him crost That both on chin and head all was quite lost A new disease some said a dry hot cold Yet this disease a thousand yeere was old Epig. 8. In Portianum Portian is taken for a traueller Why For he weares a gold ring in his eare Certes and if a ring may be a signe Who better traueller than his mothers swine They in their Nose he in his Eare Whether then is the better traueller Grilliis I wot hath deeper gone then he If he hath further gone they euen be Epig. 9 But wodden chalices of yore Yet golden priests were then great store Now golden chalices we make For wodden priests in hand to take Lets cast our priests in a new molde Or else for wood lets change our golde Epig. 10 In Cacum Cacus is angry he hath not a place Amongst the Worthies of our Faërie land Nor doth the pesant thinke himselfe too base Among the brauest of the Lordes to stand Hee weares braue clothes but what weares hee within An Asse an Asse is in a Lions skin Epig. 11 Ad Musam suam de obitufortissimi insignisque inuenis Thomae Egerton militis Descend my Muse into the bed of Death Embalming first his body with thy teares And chide the Fates vntill they lend him breath Because they rapt him in his youthfull yeares Yet stay my Muse Fates offred him no wrong In vertue old he was in yeeres though yong Epig. 12 In Quintum To giue a booke thou saist I may do well Yet thou n'ere readst a book before a book thou sell Epig. 13 In Tubrionem Extramnemers or Watermen giue roome For by his feather Tubrioe's spied to come A Sculler sir here is a paire of Oares Ift please your Worship I did speake before I'm your first man he lies here is my boate Your Worship lands at Pauls wharfe doth it not No Westminster O foole dost thou not know That gainst the wind thou cannot Tubrio row Epig. 14 Ad Cordredum O impudent a liuing for whose sake This meanes to my Lord dost thou make Fie thus to beg thy selfe One of rare parts I am my Lord beside Maister of Arts And Go no further thou art too short leg'd And beg no more lest thou thy selfe be beg'd Yet Cordred thou shalt haue do not despaire The Vicarage of Saint Fooles at Steeple faire Epig. 15 Satyricum in Audriam laenam Looke to your selfe I'le whip you mistris Audrie For keeping such a brothel house of Is't true indeede hath Sulla learn'd thy skill Dri'de veines and arteries with pure blood to fil In drinking cordialls fearing to be too old Of Amber-greece prepared pearle and gold Mandrake Eringe and Potatie rootes Fiue pound a weeke in Poticaries bookes Oh stay no more for Audria I heare tell Is new become a bride but in Bridewell Epig. 16 Ad Richardum Houghton Militem O chide me not for that I doe enroule Thy worthy name here Houghton in the end For now I hope none will my booke controule Lest thine heroicke spirit they offend Close with thy Vertues then this seely scroule That praise on thee and it may euer tend Which if it doe I will aduenture then To take a taske fit for a golden pen. Epig. 17 Ad Lectorem If in the first thou count me worthy blame Yet pardon me thus Homer did offend If in the midst then Pedo I can name Chaerill in all Getulicus in th'end Thy fauour Reader then obtaine I shall I am but bad i'th first midst end and all Finis
Nor yet thine eies thei're purblind stil offending Nor thy false tong that is a burning fier Nor hands for hands take oft more than their fees Nor arms nor legs nor brest nor back nor knees Yet Steron giue me but one weeke thy vailes And I will praise thy haire thy beard thy nailes Epig. 11 In Spurium quendam scriptorem Apelles did so paint faire Venus Queene That most supposde he had faire Venus seene But thy bald rimes of Venus sauour so That I dare sweare thou dost all Venus know Epig. 12 In Hugonem Though praise and please doth Hugo neuer none Yet praise and please doth Hugo euer one For praise and please doth Hugo himselfe alone Epig. 13 In D. D. Plaifer Was't heauenly Plato in whose mouth they say The Bees were wont their home combs to lay From whose sweet lips so sweet a sound did flow As neuer Orpheus made in hell below Mellifluous Plaifer so men call thy name And why Mellifluous but for Platoes fame Thy heauenly Musickes notes charming so well Can fetch mans soule faire Euridice from hell Since Orpheus Harp thou hast Platoes Bee Mellifluous Plaifer fittest name for thee Epig. 14. Ad Mathonem Matho I'm told that many do thinke much Because I call you Piller of the Church Matho you bought a Deanry at best rate And two church-liuings now impropriate And sold to Gnidus a rich Parsonage For diuers causes gaue a Vicarage And now hath got three liuings at one lurch Art thou not then a pillar of the Church Epig. 15 In obitum Roberti Shute Iust. de Reg. Banco Shute did ere-while the Country foster No peny now no pater noster O desperate Death how could'st thou dare To put our Country thus to care Could not his Iustice set him free Nor yet his Law perswade with thee Could not his honour stay the fire Which was the credite of the shire When Death such Lawyers doth out-face Then punies may not pleade the case When Captaine once doth fall on ground Then Souldiers the retaite may sound If Peeres to ground do goe so fast Let pesants know they must at last A shoote was shot which lost the game And yet the Shute hath wonne the same The shoote was shot vp very high Which from the earth to heau'n did flie Then praise the Shooter and the Shoote Which chang'd the world for better boote Epig. 16 In Robertum Shute fil Rob Pre. How faire yong Shute shootes at his fathers aime A few such shootes and Shute will win the game If Shute shoote on as now he doth begin With learnings arrow hee'le cliue honours pin He le hit the white which Shute shot at his father He shootes beyond his vertues I thinke rather Thus shootes yong Shute if then his father Shute For him we chang'd we need not ask much boot Epig. 17 In Rubrionem Rullum Rubrio Rullus snout-faire Septimel Both lou'd alike yet could not bring about Their chiefe pretence but needs they must apparell Hir breech-torn husband Now he walks throwout The streetes to tauernes goes vnto a play Neuer at home saue on some feasting day At noone at night by turnes enioy you still Rubrio Rullus snout-faire Septimell Epig. 18 In Luciam If any maruaile why Luce selles her loue for gold Tis she may haue to buy Her loue when she is old Epig. 19. In Georoium Meriton Georgium Mountaine Your entertaine nor can I passe away Of Essex with farre-famed Laelia Nor fore the Queen your seruice on Queens day When such a Maister with you beareth sway How can Queenes College euer then decay No. Yet Queenes College euermore hath beene Is and will be of Colleges the Queene Epig. 20. Ad Dudlaeum North. The sparkling lust of a pretious stone Breedes often wonder to the looker on But the resplendance of this pearle is more If laid in gold enameld with ore Thy noble birth yōg North doth shine as bright As doth a Christall in the darksome night But learning in so faire and yong a molde Is like a Christall stone in burnisht golde Epig. 21 In Rudionem Yon goes a gallant which will get repute From head to heele in his Carnation sute Slops dublet stockings shooes hat bād fether Red yard-long ribbin see the youth coms hither Who lest his Dutchman hose should be vnseene Aboue his mid-thigh he his cloake doth pin O that he had to his Carnation hose I wish him well a faire rich crimson nose Epig 22. Ad Gulielmum Shakespeare Honie-tong'd Shakespeare when I saw thine issue I swore Apollo got them and none other Their rosie-tainted features cloth'd in tissue Some heauen born goddesse said to be their mother Rose-checkt Adonis with his amber tresses Faire fire-hot Venus charming him to loue her Chaste Lucretia virgine-like her dresses Prowd lust-stung Tarquine seeking still to proue her Romea Richard more whose names I know not Their sugred tongues and power attractiue beuty Say they are Saints althogh that Sts they shew not For thousands vowes to them subiectiue dutie They burn in loue thy childrē Shakespear het thē Go wo thy Muse more Nymphish brood beget them Epig. 23 In Ed Allen. Rome had her Roscius and her Theater Her Terence Plautus Ennius and Meander The first to Allen Phoebus did transfer The next Thames Swans receiu'd fore he coulde land her Of both more worthy we by Phoebus doome Then t' Allen Roscius yeeld to London Rome Finis To the right worshipful sir Thomas Gerrard knight Marshall c. ennobled with Learnings renowne and Warres dignitie MAny meane Poets Schollers chiefe patron offered their wel-meaning Poems to Alexander whose rudenesse hee pardoned Some to Augustus which he highly rewarded Others to Caesar which he kindly accepted euen so right Worshipful as you striue to surpasse these in Chiualrie I doe not doubt but you will equall them in curtesie and thus boldly I referre all to your Worships clemencie Ioh Weeuer The fifth weeke Epig. 1 Ad Petrum Leigh de Vnderline Militem THe ancient acts lou'd Leigh yet vndergoes Of his forefathers Vnder whose old Line Haue beene kept vnder Englands chiefest foes But if Death do not Vndergo the Line Of life which now so long and true spun shows Hee le ouergo the Knights of Vnder-line And vnder few thus much I doe diuine His name will be call'd Leigh of Ouer-line Epig. 2 In Rufum Some say the soule within the braine close lies Some in the head in th'hart some som in the eies Others affirme it harbours in the breast Others wil haue it in the blood to rest Gainst all Philosophers I do suppose Rufus red soule lies hid in his red nose Epig. 3 In Stellam Virginitie doth Stella still commend That for a virgine so she may be counted Virginitie she might though reprehend Since she with Rufus in the coach was mounted For tell me Stella virgine as thou art To beare a virgin is t a virgins part Epig. 4 In Iscum Iscus invite your friends vnto good