t is tenne to one of his pride and if he be poore he breakes without his fast In summe hee is the disgrace of a Marchant the dishonour of a Citty the discredit of his parish and the dislike of all A good man A Good man is an image of God Lord ouer all his Creatures and created only for his seruice he is made capable of Reason to know the properties of Nature and by the inspiration of Grace to know things supernaturall He hath a face alwaies to looke vpward and a Soule that giues life to all the Sences hee liues in the World as a Stranger while Heauen is the home of his spirit his life is but the labour of sence and his death the way to his rest his study is the word of Truth and his delight is in the lawe of loue his prouision is but to serue necessity and his care the exercise of Charitie he is more conuersant with the diuine Prophets then the worlds profits and makes the ioy of his soule in the tidings of his saluation he is wise in the best wit and wealthy in the richest treasure his hope is but the comfort of mercy and his feare but the hurt of sinne Pride is the hate of his soule and Patience the worker of his peace his Guide is the wisedome of Grace and his trauaile but to the heauenly Ierusalem In summe hee is the Elect of God the blessing of Grace the seede of loue and the fruite of life An Atheist or most badde man AN Atheist is a figure of desperation who dare do any thing euen to his soules damnation he is in nature a Dogge in wit an Asse in passion a Bedlam and in action a Diuell Hee makes Sinne a iest Grace an humour Truth a fable and Peace a Cowardice his Horse is his pride his Sword is his Castle his Apparell his riches and his Punke his Paradise hee makes Robberie his purchase Lechery his Solace Mirth his Exercise and Drunkennesse his Glory hee is the daunger of Society the loue of Vanitie the hate of Charitie and the shame of Humanitie hee is Gods enemie his Parents griefe his Countries plague and his owne confusion hee spoiles that is necessarie and spends that is needlesse he spightes at the Gracious and spurnes at the Godly the Tauerne is his Palace his belly is his God a Whore is his Mistris and the Diuell is his Master Oathes are his Graces Wounds his Badges Shifts are his practices and beggery his paiments Hee knowes not GOD nor thinkes of Heauen but walkes thorow the world as a Diuell towards Hell Vertue knowes him not Honesty findes him not Wisedome loues him not and Honour regards him not hee is but the Cutlers friend and the Chirurgeons Agent the Thiefes Companion and the Hangmans Benefactor he was begotten vntimely and borne vnhappily liues vngraciously and dies vnchristianly Hee is of no Religion nor good fashion hardly good complexion most vile in condition In summe hee is a Monster among men a Iewe among Christians a foole among Wisemen and a diuell among Saints A Wise man A Wise man is a Clocke that neuer strikes but at his houre or rather like a Diall that being set right with the Sunne keepes his true course in his compasse So the heart of a Wise man set in the course of Vertue by the spirit of Grace runnes the course of life in the compasse of eternall comfort Hee measureth Time and tempreth Nature imployeth Reason and commandeth Sense Hee hath a deafe Eare to the Charmer a close mouth to the Slaunderer an open hand to Charity and an humble mind to Piety Obseruation and experience are his reasons labours and Patience with Conscience are the lines of his Loues measure Contemplation and Meditation are his Spirits exercise and GOD and his Word are the ioy of his Soule Hee knowes not the Pride of Prosperity nor the misery of Aduersitie but takes the one as the Day the other as the Night Hee knowes no Fortune but builds all vpon prouidence and through the hope of Faith hath a fayre ayme at Heauen His words are weighed with Iudgement and his Actions are the examples of Honour Hee is fit for the seat of Authority and deserues the reuerence of Subiection Hee is precious in the counsell of a King and mighty in the sway of a Kingdome In summe hee is Gods seruant and the Worlds Master a stranger vpon Earth and a Citizen in Heauen A Foole. A Foole is the Abortiue of wit where Nature had more power then Reason in bringing forth the fruit of imperfection his actions are most in extremes and the scope of his braine is but Ignorance onely Nature hath taught him to feede and Vse to labour without knowledge Hee is a kind of shadow of a better substance or like the Vision of a Dreame that yeelds nothing awake he is commonly knowne by one of two speciall Names deriued from their qualities as from wilfull Willfoole and Hodge from Hodge-podge all meates are alike all are one to a Foole His exercises are commonly diuided into foure parts Eating and Drinking Sleeping and Laughing foure things are his chiefe Loues a Bawble and a Bell a Coxecombe and a Pide-coate Hee was begotten in vnhappinesse borne to no goodnes liues but in beastlinesse and dies but in forgetfulnesse In summe he is the shame of Nature the trouble of Wit the charge of Charity and the losse of Liberality An Honest man AN Honest man is like a plaine Coate which without welt or gard keepeth the body from winde and weather and being well made fits him best that weares it and where the stuffe is more regarded then the fashion there is not much adoe in the putting of it on so the mind of an Honest man without tricks or complements keepes the credit of a good Conscience from the scandal of the World and the worme of Iniquity which being wrought by the Worke-man of Heauen fits him best that weares it to his seruice and where Vertue is more esteemed then Vanity it is put on and worne with that ease that shewes the excellency of the Workeman His study is Vertue his word Truth his life the passage of Patience and his death the rest of his Spirit His trauaile is a Pilgrimage his way is plainnesse his pleasure Peace and his delight is Loue His care is his Conscience his wealth is his credit his charge is his Charity and his content is his Kingdome In summe hee is a Diamond among Iewels a Phaenix among Birds an Vnicorne among Beasts and a Saint among men A Knaue A Knaue is the scumme of Wit and the scorne of Reason the hate of Wisedome and the dishonour of Humanity He is the danger of Society and the hurt of Amity the infection of Youth and the corruption of Age He is a Traytor to Affiance and abuse to imployment and a rule of Villany in a plot of mischiefe Hee hath a Cats eye and a Beares paw a Sirens
and of the poore learnes but a heart-breaking profession his bed is the earth and the heauen is his Canapy the Sunne is his Summers comfort and the Moone is his Winter candle his sighes are the notes of his musick and his Song is like the Swanne before her death his study his patience and his exercise prayer his dyet the herbes of the earth and his drinke the water of the Riuer his trauell is the walke of the woful and his horse Bayard of ten-toes his apparell but the clothing of nakednesse and his wealth but the hope of heauen He is a stranger in the world for no man craues his acquaintance his funerall is without Ceremony when there is no mourning for the misse of him yet may he be in the state of Election and in the life of loue and more rich in Grace then the greatest of the World In sum he is the griefe of Nature the sorrow of Reason the pittie of wisedome and the charge of Charity A Iust man A Iust man is the Child of Truth begotten by vertue and kindnesse when Nature in the temper of the spirit made euen the ballance of Indifferency his eye is cleere from blindnesse and his hand from Bribery his will from wilfulnesse and his heart from wickednesse his word and deed are all one his life shewes the nature of his loue his care is the charge of his Conscience and his comfort the assurance of his Saluation In the Seat of Iustice he is the grace of the Lawe and in the iudgement of Right the honour of Reason he feares not the power of Authority to equall Iustice with Mercie and ioyes but in the iudgement of Grace to see the execution of Iustice his Iudgement is worthy of honour and his Wisedome is gracious in Truth his Honour is famous in Vertue and his Vertue is precious in Example In summe he is a spirit of Vnderstanding a braine of Knowledge a heart of Wisedome and a Soule of Blessednesse A Repentant Sinner A Repentant Sinner is the Child of Grace who being borne for the seruice of God makes no reckoning of the mastershippe of the world yet doth he glorifie God in the beholding of his creatures and in giuing praise to his holy Name in the admiration of his Work-manship He is much of the nature of an Angell who being sent into the world but to do the will of his Master is euer longing to bee at home with his fellowes He desires nothing but that is necessary and delighteth in nothing that is transitory but contemplates more then hee can conceiue and meditates onely vpon the Word of the Almighty his Senses are the tyrers of his Spirit while in the course of nature his Soule can find no rest He shakes off the ragges of Sinne and is cloathed with the Robe of Vertue he puts off Adam and puts on Christ His heart is the Anuile of Truth where the braine of his Wisedome beates the thoughts of his Minde till they be fit for the seruice of his Maker His labour is the trauaile of Loue by the rule of Grace to find the high-way to Heauen His feare is greater then his Loue of the World and his Loue is greater then his feare of God In summe he is in the Election of Loue in the booke of Life an Angell incarnate and a blessed Creature A Reprobate A Reprobate is the Childe of sinne who being borne for the seruice of the Deuill cares not what villany he does in the world His wit is alwaies in a maze for his courses are euer out of order and while his will stands for his wisedome the best that fals out of him is a Foole Hee betrayes the trust of the simple and sucks out the blood of the Innocent His breath is the fume of Blasphemy and his Tongue the fire-brand of Hell His desires are the destruction of the Vertuous and his delights are the Traps to damnation Hee bathes in the bloud of Murther and sups vp the broth of Iniquity He frighteth the Eyes of the Godly disturbeth the hearts of the Religious he marreth the wits of the Wise and is hatefull to the Soules of the Gracious In summe he is an inhumane Creature a fearefull Companion a man-Monster and a Diuell incarnate An Old man AN Old man is the declaration of Time in the defect of nature and the imperfection of sense in the vse of Reason He is in the obseruation of Time a Kalender of experience but in the power of Action he is a blanke among Lots He is the subiect of weakenesse the Agent of sicknesse the displeasure of life and the forerunner of death Hee is twise a Child and halfe a man a liuing Picture and a dying Creature he is a blowne Bladder that is onely stuffed with winde and a withered Tree that hath lost the sappe of the Roote or an old Lute with strings all broken or a ruined Castle that is ready to fall Hee is the eye-sore of Youth and the iest of Loue and in the fulnesse of Infirmitie the Mirror of Misery Yet in the honour of Wisedome he may be Gracious in Grauity and in the gouernment of Iustice deserue the Honour of Reuerence Yea his Words may be notes for the vse of Reason and his Actions examples for the imitation of discretion In summe in whatsoeuer estate he is but as the snuffe of a Candle that pinke it neuer so long it will out at last A Young man A Young man is the Spring of Time when Nature in her Pride shewes her Beauty to the World He is the delight of the Eye and the study of the minde the labour of instruction and the Pupil of Reason His Wit is in making or marring his Wealth in gaining or losing his Honour in aduancing or declining and his Life in abridging or increasing He is a Bloome that either is blasted in the Bud or growes to a good fruit or a Bird that dies in the nest or liues to make vse of her wings Hee is a Colt that must haue a Bridle ere hee bee well managed and a Faulcon that must be well man'd or hee will neuer be reclaimde Hee is the Darling of Nature and the charge of Reason the exercise of Patience and the hope of Charity His exercise is either Study or Action and his study either Knowledge or Pleasure His disposition giues a great note of his generation and yet his breeding may eyther better or worse him though to wish a Black-Moore white bee the losse of labour and what is bred in the bone will neuer out of the flesh In summe till experience haue seasoned his Vnderstanding hee is rather a Childe then a man a prey of flattery or a praise of prouidence in the way of Grace to proue a Saint or in the way of sinne to grow a Deuill A Holy man A Holy man is the chiefest Creature in the workemanship of the World He is the highest in the Election of Loue and the neerest to the Image of the humane Nature of his Maker Hee is serued of all the creatures in the Earth and created but for the seruice of his Creator Hee is capable of the course of Nature and by the rule of Obseruation finds the Art of Reason his senses are but seruants to his Spirit which is guided by a power aboue himselfe his Time is onely knowne to the Eye of the Almighty and what hee is in his most greatnesse is as nothing but in his Mercy He makes Law by the direction of life and liues but in the mercy of Loue he treads vpō the face of the Earth til in the same substāce he be trod vpon though his Soule that gaue life to his senses liue in Heauen till the resurrection of his flesh Hee hath an Eye to looke vpward towards Grace while Labour is onely the punishment of sinne his Faith is the hand of his Soule which layeth hold on the promise of Mercy his Patience the Tenure of the possession of his Soule his Charity the rule of his life and his hope the Anchor of his Saluation His study is the state of Obedience and his exercise the continuance of Prayer his life but a passage to a better and his death the rest of his labours His heart is a watch to his Eye his wit a doore to his Mouth his Soule a guard to his Spirit and his Limmes but labourers for his Body In summe hee is rauisht with Diuine Loue hatefull to the nature of Sinne troubled with the Vanities of the World and longing for his Ioy but in Heauen FINIS
THE GOOD AND THE BADDE OR Descriptions of the Worthies and Vnworthies of this Age. WHERE The Best may see their Graces and the Worst discerne their Basenesse LONDON Printed by George Purslowe for Iohn Budge and are to be sold at the great South-dore of Paules and at Brittaines Bursse 1616. TO THE RIGHT VVORSHIPFVLL and VVorthy Sir Gilbert Houghton of Houghton Knight the Noble fauourer of all vertuous spirits the highest power of heauen grant the blessing of all happinesse to his worthy hearts desire VVorthy Knight THe worthinesse of this subiect in which is set downe the difference of light and darkenesse in the nature of Honour and disgrace to the deseruers of either hath made me vpon the note of the Noblenesse of your spirit like the Eagle still looking towards the Sunne to present to your patience the Patronage of this little Treatise of the VVorthies and Vnworthies of this Age Wherein I hope you will finde some things to your content nothing to the contrary which leauing to the acceptance of your good fauour with my further seruice to your command I humbly rest Your VVorships deuoted to be commanded Nicholas Breton TO THE READER I Am sure that if you read thorough this Booke you will finde your description in one place or other if among the Worthies holde you where you are and change not your Carde for a worse If among the other mend that is amisse and all will be well I name you not for I know you not but I will wish the best because the worst is too bad I hope there will no body be angry except it be with himselfe for some-what that hee findes out of order if it bee so the hope is the greater the bad will be no worse yet the world being at such a passe that liuing Creatures are scarcely knowne from pictures till they moue nor Wise-men from fooles till they speake nor Arteists from Bunglers till they worke I will onely wish the Worthy their worth and the contrary what may mend their Condition and for my selfe but pardon for my presumption in writing vpon the natures of more worth then I am worthy to write of and fauourable acceptation of no worthy intention of reprehension by the least thought of malicious disposition So leauing my booke to your best like with my better labours to the like effect In hope to finde you among the Worthies I rest At your command if worthy N. B. THE GOOD AND THE BADDE OR Descriptions of the Worthies and Vnworthies of this Age. A Worthy KING A Worthy King is a figure of God in the nature of gouernment he is the chiefe of men and the Churches Champion Natures honour and Earths maiesty is the director of Law and the strength of the same the Sword of Iustice and the Scepter of Mercy the Glasse of Grace and the Eye of Honour the Terror of Treason and the Life of Loyalty His commaund is general and his power absolute his frowne a death and his fauour a life his charge is his subiects his care their safety his pleasure their peace and his ioy their loue he is not to be paraleld because he is without equalitie and the prerogatiue of his Crowne must not be contradicted hee is the Lords Anointed and therefore must not be touched and the Head of a publique body and therefore must be preserued he is a scourge of sinne and a blessing of Grace Gods Vicegerent ouer his people and vnder him supreme Gouernour his safety must bee his Councels care his health his Subiects prayer his pleasure his Peeres comfort and his content his Kingdomes gladnesse his presence must be reuerenced his Person attended his Court adorned and his State maintained his bosome must not be searched his will not disobeyed his wants not vnsupplied nor his place vnregarded In summe he is more then a man though not a God and next vnder God to be honoured aboue man An Vnworthy King AN Vnworthy King is the vsurper of Power where tyranny in authority loseth the glory of maiesty while the feare of terror frighteth loue from obedience For when the Lyon plaies the Wolfe the Lambe dies with the Ewe Hee is a messenger of Worth to be the scourge of sinne or the triall of patience in the hearts of the religious he is a warrant of woe in the execution of his fury and in his best temper a doubt of Grace hee is a dispeopler of his Kingdome and a prey to his enemies an vndelightfull friend and a tormentor of himselfe he knowes no God but makes an Idoll of Nature and vseth Reason but to the ruine of sense his care is but his will his pleasure but his ease his exercise but sinne and his delight but vnhumane his heauen is his pleasure and his golde is his God his presence is terrible his countenance horrible his words vncomfortable and his actions intolerable In summe he is the foyle of a Crowne the disgrace of a Court the trouble of a Councell and the plague of a Kingdome A Worthy Queene A Worthy Queene is the figure of a King who vnder God in his Grace hath a great power ouer his people She is the chiefe of women the beauty of her Court and the grace of her Sexe in the royalty of her spirit She is like the moone that giueth light among the starres and but vnto the Sunne giues none place in her brightnesse She is the pure Diamond vpon the Kings finger and the Orient Pearle vnprizeable in his eye the ioy of the Court in the comfort of the King and the wealth of the kingdome in the fruit of her loue Shee is Reasons honour in Natures grace and Wisedomes loue in Vertues beautie In summe she is the Handmaid of God and the Kings second selfe and in his Grace the beauty of a Kingdome A Worthy Prince A Worthy Prince is the hope of a kingdom the richest Iewell in a Kings Crowne and the fairest flowre in the Queenes garden hee is the ioy of Nature in the hope of Honour and the loue of Wisedome in the life of Worthinesse In the secret carriage of his hearts intention til his dissignes come to action he is a dumbe shew to the Worlds imagination in his wisedome hee startles the spirits of expectation in his valour he subiects the hearts of Ambition in his Vertue hee winnes the loue of the Noblest and in his bounty bindes the seruice of the most sufficient he is the Crystall glasse where Nature may see her comfort and the booke of Reason where Vertue may reade her honour Hee is the Morning-starre that hath light from the Sunne and the blessed fruit of the Tree of Earths Paradise hee is the studie of the wise in the state of Honour and in the subiect of Learning the history of admiration In summe he is in the note of wisdome the aime of Honour and in the honour of Vertue the hope of a Kingdome An Vnworthy Prince AN Vnworthy Prince is the feare of a
tongue and a Serpents sting His Words are lies his Oaths periuries his Studies subtilties and his practices Villanies his Wealth is his wit his Honour is his wealth his Glory is his gaine and his god is his Gold He is no mans friend and his owne enemy cursed on Earth and banished from Heauen Hee was begotten vngraciously borne vntimely liues dishonestly and dies shamefully His heart is a puddle of Poyson his Tongue a sting of iniquity his Braine a distiller of deceit and his Conscience a compasse of Hell In summe hee is a Dogge in disposition a Foxe in wit a Wolfe in his prey and a Diuell in his Pride An Vsurer AN Vsurer is a figure of Misery who hath made himselfe a slaue to his Money His Eye is clos'd from pitty and his hand from Charity his Eare from compassion and his heart from Piety while hee liues hee is the hate of a Christian and when he dies hee goes with horror to hell His study is sparing and his care is getting his feare is wanting and his death is loosing His Diet is either fasting or poore fare his Cloathing the Hang-mans wordrobe his house the receptacle of Theeuery and his Musick the chinking of his Money Hee is a kind of Canker that with the teeth of Interest eates the hearts of the poore and a venimous Fly that sucks out the blood of any flesh that hee lights on In summe hee is a seruant of drosse a slaue to Misery an Agent for Hell and a Diuell in the World A Beggar A Beggar is the childe of Idlenesse whose life is a resolution of ease his trauaile is most in the High-wayes and his Randevows is commonly in an Ale-house His study is to counterfeit Impotency and his practice to cozen simplicity of Charity the iuice of the Malt is the licour of his life and at bed and at boord a Louse is his companion Hee feares no such enemy as a Constable and beeing acquainted with the stocks must visite them as hee goes by them Hee is a Drone that feedes vpon the labours of the Bee and vnhappily begotten that is borne for no goodnesse his staffe and his scrippe are his walking furniture and what hee lackes in meat hee will haue out in drinke He is a kinde of Caterpiller that spoiles much good fruite and an vnprofitable creature to liue in a common-wealth Hee is seldome handsome and often noysome alwaies troublesome and neuer welcome hee prayes for all and preyes vpon all begins with blessing but ends often with cursing if hee haue a Licence hee shewes it with a grace but if hee haue none hee is submissiue to the ground sometime he is a Thiefe but alwaies a Rogue and in the nature of his profession the shame of Humanity In sum hee is commonly begot in a Bush borne in a Barne liues in a High-way and dyes in a Ditch A Virgin A Virgin is the beauty of Nature where the Spirit gracious makes the creature Glorious She is the loue of Vertue the honour of Reason the grace of Youth and the comfort of Age Her studie is Holinesse her exercise Goodnesse her grace Humility and her loue is Charity her countenance is Modesty her speech is Truth her wealth Grace and her fame Constancy her vertue Continence her labour Patience her dyet Abstinence and her care Conscience Her conuersation Heauenly her meditations Angel-like her prayers Deuout and her hopes Diuine Her parents Ioy her kindreds Honour her countreys Fame and her owne Felicity She is the blessed of the Highest the praise of the Worthiest the loue of the Noblest and the neerest to the Best Shee is of creatures the Rarest of Women the Chiefest of nature the Purest and of Wisedome the Choysest Her life is a Pilgrimage her death but a Passage her description a Wonder and her name an Honour In summe shee is the daughter of Glory the mother of Grace the sister of Loue and the beloued of Life A wanton Woman A Wanton Woman is the figure of Imperfection in nature an Ape in quality a Wagtaile in countenance a Witch and in condition a kinde of Diuell her beck is a net her word a charme her looke an illusion and her companie a confusion her life is the play of idlenesse her diet the excesse of dainties her loue the change of vanities and her exercise the inuention of follies her pleasures are fansies her studies fashions her delight colours and her wealth her cloathes her care is to deceiue her comfort her Company her house is vanity and her Bed is ruine her discourses are fables her vowes dissimulations her conceits subtilties and her contents varieties She would she knowes not what and spends she cares not what she spoiles she sees not what and doth shee thinks not what She is Youths plague and Ages Purgatory Times abuse and Reasons trouble In summe shee is a spice of madnesse a sparke of mischiefe a tutch of poyson and a feare of destruction A quiet Woman A Quiet woman is like a still winde which neither chils the body nor blowes dust in the face her Patience is a Vertue that winnes the heart of loue and her wisedome makes her will well worthy regarde She feares God and flyeth sinne sheweth kindnesse and loueth peace her tongue is tied to discretion and her heart is the harbor of goodnesse Shee is acomfort of Calamity and in prosperity a companion a Physician in sicknesse and a Musician in helpe her wayes are the walke toward heauen and her Guide is the Grace of the Almighty She is her husbands Downe-bed where his heart lyes at rest and her childrens Glasse in the notes of her Grace her seruants honour in the keeping of her house and her neighbours example in the notes of a good nature She skorns Fortune and loues Vertue and out of thrift gathereth Charity she is a Turtle in her loue a Lambe in her meekenesse a Saint in her heart and an Angell in her soule In summe shee is a Iewell vnprizeable and a ioy vnspeakable a comfort in Nature incomparable and a Wife in the world vnmatchable An Vnquiet Woman AN Vnquiet Woman is the misery of man whose demeanure is not to be described but in extremities her voice is the skrieching of an Owle her eye the poison of a Cockatrice her hand the clawe of a Crocadile and her heart a Cabinet of horrour She is the griefe of Nature the wound of Wit the trouble of Reason and the abuse of time her pride is vnsupportable her anger vnquenchable her will vnsatiable and her malice vnmatchable She feares no colours she cares for no counsaile she spares no persons nor respects any time her command is Must her Reason Will her Resolution Shall and her satisfaction So She looks at no lawe and thinkes of no Lord admits no commaund and keepes no good order She is a crosse but not of Christ and a word but not of Grace a creature but not of wisedome and a seruant but not of God
In summe she is the seede of trouble the fruit of trauaile the taste of bitternesse and the digestion of death A good Wife A Good Wife is a world of wealth where iust cause of content makes a kingdome in conceit She is the eye of warinesse the tongue of silence the hand of labour and the heart of loue a companion of kindnesse a Mistris of Passion an exercise of Patience and an example of experience She is the Kitchin Physician the Chamber comfort the Halls care and the Parlours Grace She is the Dairies neatnesse the Brue-house wholsomnesse the Garners prouision and the Gardens plantation her voice is musicke her countenance meekenesse her minde vertuous and her soule gracious she is her Husbands Iewell her Childrens ioy her Neighbors loue and her seruants honour she is Pouerties praier and Charities praise Religions loue and Deuotions zeale she is a care of necessity and a course of Thrift a booke of Huswifery and a mirror of modestie In summe she is Gods blessing and Mans happinesse Earths honour and Heauens creature An Effeminate Foole. AN Effeminate foole is the figure of a Baby he loues nothing but gay to look in a Glasse to keepe among Wenches and to play with trifles to feed on sweet meats and to be daunced in Laps to be imbraced in Armes and to be kissed on the Cheeke To talke Idlely to looke demurely to goe Nicely and to Laugh continually To be his Mistresse seruant and her Mayds master his Fathers Loue and his Mothers none-Child to play on a Fiddle and sing a Loue-song to weare sweet Gloues and looke on fine things To make purposes and write Verses deuise Riddles and tell lies To follow Plaies and study Daunces to heare Newes and buy trifles To sigh for Loue and weepe for kindnesse and mourne for company and bee sicke for fashion To ride in a Coach and gallop a Hackney to watch all Night and sleepe out the Morning to lie on a bed and take Tobacco and to send his Page of an idle message to his Mistresse to go vppon Gigges to haue his Ruffes set in print to picke his Teeth and play with a Puppet In summe hee is a man-Childe and a Womans man a gaze of Folly and Wisedomes griefe A Parasite A Parisite is the Image of iniquity who for the gaine of drosse is deuoted to all villanie He is a kinde of Thiefe in committing of Burglarie when hee breakes into houses with his tongue and pickes pockets with his flatterie his face is brazed that he cannot blush and his hands are limed to catch holde what hee can light on his tongue is a Bell but not of the Church except it be the Diuels to call his Parish to his seruice hee is sometime a Pander to carry messages of ill meetings and perhaps hath some Eloquence to perswade sweetnesse in sinne he is like a dogge at a doore while the diuels dance in the chamber or like a Spider in the house top that liues on the poison belowe hee is the hate of honesty and the abuse of beauty the spoile of Youth and the misery of Age. In summe he is a danger in a Court a Cheater in a Citie a Iester in the Countrey and a Iacke-an-Apes in all A Bawde A Bawde is a kinde of Woman-Beast who hauing lost the honour of her Virginity in her youth meanes to goe to hell in her Age She is dangerous among young people for feare of the infection of the falling sicknesse and not to teach children to spel lest she learne them too soone to put together shee is partly a Surgeon but most for the the allaying of swellings in the lower parts and hath commonly a charme to coniure the Diuell into hell Shee grieues at nothing more then at disability to sinne and is neuer so merry as when she is perswaded to be young she feares nothing more then the Cart and cares for nothing but ease and loues a cup of Sacke and a pot of Ale almost as well as the hope of her saluation shee is much subiect to sore eyes and ill teeth with sitting vp late and feeding on sweete things she is a Gossip at a Childe-birth where her mirth is a bawdy tale and a Matrone in an Hospitall to see young wenches well set to worke In summe shee is the loathsomenesse of Nature the hate of Vertue the spoile of wealth and the ruine of Mayden-heads A Drunkard A Drunkard is a Nowne Adiectiue for he cannot stand alone by himselfe yet in his greatest we aknesse a great trier of strength whether health or sicknesse will haue the vpper hand in a surfet He is a spectacle of deformitie and a shame of humanity a viewe of sinne and a griefe of Nature he is the anoiance of Modesty and the trouble of Ciuility the spoile of wealth and the spight of Reason he is only the Bruers Agent and the Ale-house Benefactor the Beggers Companion and the Constables trouble he is his Wifes woe his Childrens sorrow his Neighbours scoffe and his owne shame In summe hee is a Tubbe of swill a Spirit of sleepe a picture of a Beast and a Monster of a man A Coward A Coward is the childe of feare hee was begotten in colde bloud when Nature had much adoe to make vp a Creature like a man his life is a kinde of sicknesse which breeds a kinde of palsey in the ioynts and his death the terror of his conscience with the extreme weakenesse of his faith hee loues Peace as his life for he feares a sword in his soule if he cut his finger hee looketh presently for the signe and if his head ake he is ready to make his will a report of a cannon strikes him flat on his face and a clap of thunder makes him a strange Metamorphosis rather then he will fight he will be beaten and if his legges will helpe him he will put his armes to no trouble he makes loue commonly with his purse and brags most of his Mayden-head he will not marry but into a quiet family and not too faire a wife to auoide quarrels if his wife frowne vpon him he sighes and if shee giue him an vnkinde word he weepes hee loues not the hornes of a Bull nor the pawes of a Beare and if a dogge barke he will not come neere the house if hee be rich he is afraide of Theeues and if he be poore he will be slaue to a Begger In summe hee is the shame of man-hood the disgrace of Nature the skorne of Reason and the hate of honour An honest Poore man AN honest Poore man is the proofe of miserie where patience is put to the trial of her strength to endure griefe without passion in staruing with concealed necessity or standing in the aduentures of Charitie if he be married Want rings in his eares and woe watreth his eyes if single he droopeth with the shame of Beggery or dyes with the passion of penurie of the Rich he is shunned like infection