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A14954 VVits A.B.C. or A centurie of epigrams West, Richard, fl. 1606-1619, attributed name.; Willet, Roland, b. 1588 or 9, attributed name. 1608 (1608) STC 25262; ESTC S111647 14,168 44

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giue rather then want a shift Thus much still yearely for a new-yeares gift Or lay a hundred pounds in ieopardy With 's patron he shall neuer parson be Of such a place perhaps then vnsupplied Both stand to th'bargaine till the truth be tried But 's greedy patron straight on him bestowes The liuing so he doth his money lose Thus whilst Desert sits closely at his booke Immeritus takes all with golden hooke No more I le tell least that some learne of me Whilst that I carpe at such base knauery But such a patron such an vnletterd asse For fit companions thorugh the world may passe In Indoctum 49. WHat I haue bought 's mine owne none wil deny Indoctus then got 's liuing lawfully Though some say no for this I can be bold To say that it was truely bought and sold. Fortune fauors fooles 50. POets say Fortunes blind and cannot see And therefore to be borne withall if she Sometime drop gifts on vndeseruing wight But sure they are deceaue'd she hath her sight Else could it not at all times so fall out That fooles should haue when wise men goe without Ad Fortunam 51. VNconstant Fortune follies fauorite Worlds turning weather cocke true mirits spite Goddesse whome none but onely fooles adore Patronesse whose aide wisemen nere implore Fauor those worldlings that doe feare thy lookes He that is wise will nere come in thy bookes In Crispum 52. AMongst those Fortune fauors some excell And from their fellow fooles doe beare the bell Whilst some climbe vp by th'spoakes of Fortunes wheele Crispus did sodainly her fauour feele For onely by foode fauoring fortunes might Before hee 's Gentleman hee 's made a Knight A new art 53. THe fame were great of golden Alchymy Wert not it is the Actors beggery An Art found out by th'gallants of our dayes Wer 't honest did deserue far greater praise Who practise that thereon their substance spend Who practise this thereby their substance mend That is not strange cause 't is by learning wrought But this by such scarce er'e of learning thought For Ciuet gallants bearing Thrasoes lookes Can extract thousands out of Marchants bookes Is it not wondrous rare speake as you thinke To draw wealth out of Paper Pen and Inke Ad Lectorem 54. IF Seigneur Sattin chance on this to looke And fuming draw his poyniard stab the booke If finding's art reueald he curse and sweare What he would to th' author were he there Intreate him kindly and his patience craue Saying thereby he shall more Schollers haue In Theologum quendam 55. VAcuum and Infinitum are denied To haue a being in Philosophy One body cannot see it selfe deuide To haue at once moe places properly Although all this be true in generall Yet our Theulogus will all confute Not by learning or witt Sophisticall But by appearance though be quite mute All things consider'd if he come in view I know you 'le yeeld the subsequents are true His great great head a Vacuum doth containe Of wit I meane as by his talke appeares His belly Infinitum doth retaine For it vnmeasurable compasse beares His proper place his multiplicity Vnto his neighbours very well is knowne Him to haue many places who 'le deny That hath so many liuings of his owne Now I pray iudge whether this man be wise Being subiect to that Philosophy denies In Quosdam 56. MAny haue two liuings two places then The which is hated much of learned men And t is noe marle if schollers doe defie it Sith that Philosophie doth quite denie it In Proteum 57. PRoteus will now at length a surplice weare But yet with hood and cap he will not beare Some thinke it strange why he would that disgest Being all indiffrent and not like the rest But t' was in policie because he knew He should weare none had euery man his due In quendam 58. YOu doe him mighty wronge now by this light But Esquiere take the wall of him being knight Content your selfe I hope noe harme is done Though he be Knight hee s but a Yeomans sonne In Musicos 59. TIme is a iewell far exceeds all cost Yet stayes not long ere sodaynly t is lost T is time that brings both learning wealth and wit And euery one wants those that wanteth it What is there wisht for by the humane kind That not in time we easily may find How happy men were then if time would bide How happy men if t' would not from them slide Thrise happy they then who can it command With nod of head with stampe with stroake of hand And whilst some moaning their lost time doe weepe Can singinge merily it with them keepe So litle they not keeping time do feare That ouer it they prouly dominere Sometime they make it slow now faster runne Now triple that now as they first begunne Somtime they 'le haue it breefe now large now long Or what they please and all this for a song In Eosdem ad quendam 60. MOunseiur Crotchet me thought was very blith At this and mouing's lips did shew his teeth Smiling to heare himselfe and 's art in rime To be so much admir'd for keeping time But Crotchet d' yee heare though time a iewell is And though you seld in keeping time doe mis Yet such you are that when you keepe time least Then it is mainfest you keepe time best When you keepe time though strang then time you loose Time slides when you a time to keepe time choose Beside marke what vnto your fellow 's fald How time at length hath made his cockscomble bald In Grillum 61. CArdes Dice and Bowles and euery idle game Grillus doth vse and them his pastime name That he liues wondrous idely that doth show For time will passe not idely spent we know The Shepeards dog 62. THe Shepeards dogge should barke and bay That he may feare the coming wolfe away He should be watchfull and not giuen to sleepe And swift quickly to turne the straying sheepe But if the curre being dumme can no noyse make Then will the wolfe away the youngling take If he be growne so fat he cannot go Then in the sheepe-fold will there be great woe If he be sluggish and will doe no good Let him be hang'd let other haue his foode In Varum 63. VArus they say is a ranke Papist knowne How ere in workes in words it is not showne For if you marke his strange protesting vaine How deepely he protests in matters plaine And how he doth with pretestations mixe His common speech still I protest betwixt You 'le say how ere to others he do seeme That you him a great Protestant do deeme In Leucum 64. LEucus loues life yet liueth wickedly He hateth death yet wisheth he may die Honestly and well so what is naught he loues And what he would haue good he not approues Problema 65. SIth bed and sleepe do figure death and graue And of them both all men such practise haue And seeing that
practise makes each man excell Tell me why euery man doth not die well In Loquacem 66. BIg bombast words Loquax did disgorge As if he were more valiant then Saint George And swore that he in fight would neuer feare Knight or Esquier or what soeuer he were But being tried he quickly ranne away Whereby I found that he the truth did say I none will feare said he and true he said For none of such a cow will be afraid In Extremum 67. EXtremus is extreamly proude of late And yet for wealth he may be Irus mate He hath as little wit as heretofore And in good qualities hee s very poore What then is it that makes the foolish asse Without all reason thus in pride to passe Why he can sweare well and hath got good cloths And is proud of 's apparrell and his othes In Pisonem 68. AGe and diseases threaten Piso's life And yet the aged sier will haue a wife One foote already 's placed in the graue And yet he will a female fellow haue Wherefore I thinke a thing but seldome seene Although his head be gray his tayle is greene Fast and Pray Feast and Play 69. FAsts and Feasts exceeding diffring be And yet in name they allmost doe agree To Pray and Play are actions different And yet in found but little dissident Adde E excesse to Fast then t is a Feast Change R. for L. so Pray to Play is wrest In Glaucum 70. GLaucus you say doth Hebrew learne Greeke And with greate paines the skill thereof doth seeke But pray tell Glaucus this that he take heed Least that his learning do his danger breed For Grecians π and Hebricians ח Haue many brought to an vntimely death In Pansophum 71. Pansophus is a scholler wondrous rare Beside his skill in tongues is past compare For he can speake some of Italian Dutch English Spanish French and Greeke his skil is such In a word he speakes some of nine or ten As for example he can say Amen In Galbum 72. I Saw a letter which from Galbus came Wherein he wrote three letters for his name I was told also that t is still his vse Therefore me thinkes the more his owne abuse For euery one that haps the same to see Will thinke him a three letter'd man to be Tobacco 73. T. TImes great consumer cause of idlenesse O. Old ale-house haunter friend of dronkenese B. Bewitching weede vainest wealthes consumer A. Abuse of wit stinking breaths perfumer C. Cause of entralles blacknesse bodies drier C. Cause of natures slacknesse quenching her fire O. Offence to many bringing good to none E. Euer be thou hated till thou be quite gone In Gracchum 74. GRacchus his house hath chimnies round about Yet there 's no smoake at all that doth come out Which made me wonder oft what cause might be Why from so many I no smoake could see But now I heare that he to fauor those Makes all the smoake in 's house go through his nose In Crispam 75. CRispa brags of the sweetnes of her breath And that it like a Panthers is she saith Indeed when I her countenance beholde I am perswaded she the truth hath told For likely t is that nature to doe her grace Gaue her a Panthers breath to her Panthers face In Floram. 76. THough Flora sweares she s faire beleeue her not For beauty neuer yet fell to her lot Or if it did then sure in her t was sinne To couer beauty with so foule a skinne In Cretam 77. CReta doth loue her husband wondrous well It needs no proofe for euery one can tell So strong 's her loue that if I not mistake It doth extend to others for his sake Pope Ioane 78. THe Pope is God the Papists dare not say Yet that hee s merely man they doe denay But all of them in this thing doe agree Him something nether God nor man to bee Their reasons for it are but small or none Vnlesse they seeke to proue it by Pope Ioane And so indeed they may bring it to passe For she nor God nor man a woman was In Eandem 79. A Pope may be deceaued I see it now Their Synodes to may erre I le shew you how If that Pope Ioane for certayne had foreseene The time when her deliuerance should haue beene She would haue shun'd a thinge so far vnmeet And not haue falne in trauell in the street Could not their Synodes erre from the truths scope They neuer would haue made a woman Pope In Pontum 80. T Is true that whence a thing at first is bred With that t is euer after nourished As Pontus being made Gentleman by wealth By wealth keepes his Gentility in health For if you take away his fortunes good He hath not then one drop of gentle blood In Clytum 81. CLytus to get himselfe the greater fame Braggeth of what an auncient house he came Of what good blood that you may him beleeue The better I this testimony giue Clytus his blood is surely good indeed Cause he will cry strayght if being hurt he bleed The house so auncient was where he was bred That it was like to falle on 's fathers head In Mopsum 82. MAnnerly Mopsus fearing to offend Doth with Sirreuerence his speeches mend Sir-reuerence if he speake of 's shooes or hose Sir-reuerence if he say he blowd his nose Sir-reuerence if he name his cart or plough Sirreuerence if he tell of Pig or Cow In briefe almost what ere he meanes to speake Before it sir-reuerence the way doth breake Such maners sir-reuerēce Mopsus learnd at schole That now sir-reuerence Mopsus is a foole In Caluum 83. CAlvus leaue of your oft vncouerie That you were bald at first time I did see Keepe on good Calvus pray be couered I had rather see your hat then your bald head In Sophistam 84. SOphista sayes he can proue ay marry can A stocke a stone or tree to be a man Black to be white water to be fire Earth to be ayre or what you will desire Yea all things you do thinke impossible He easily can proue them possible Then pray let 's heare with all his fallacies If he can proue himselfe or rich or wise In Maritum 85. MAritus hath skill in Philosophie They say but I imagine him to be Philosophie it selfe my reason 's this Cause Corpus mobile his subiect is In Graium 86. GRaius now sayth that his wife and he After long strife like quiet sheepe agree A fit comparison I thinke the same For why his hornes shew he is like a Ramme In Pretum 87. THE old disease will Pretus sure betide I see that he the horne-plague must abide For but a while he hath beene maried And he already hath a veluet head In Biscum 88. I Pray you sir giue Biscus leaue to speake The Gander loues to heare himselfe to creake In Claium 89. CLaius while 's father liue'd to schoole was set The knowledge of