pleased O how truly blessed are these enjoyments what soul can be now sad in this enquiry Lord I now solemnly resolve upon this safe this sweet this blessed task I willingly abandon all excuses that may hinder me and joyfully embrace those happy duties which invite me nearer to thy heavenly presence thy yoak is easie and thy burthen light when thy grace hath redeemed me from the bondage of sin and restored me into the glorious liberty of thy child en I shall then find to my souls comfort that thy service is perfect freâ—domâ— from sin from shame from death from hell from all miseries here from all torments hereafter Be warie therefore O my soul and carefull to remove all lets that may disable thee but those especially that turn me from a Christian to a beast Satan hath many wayes to couzen me when he cannot beguile my judgâ—ment he will betray mine affections and lead me by a seeming good in friendly society to aâ—â— call evill in excess and so when he cannot corrupt my intentions he will undoubtedly divert mine actions as well knowing it is impossible for him to be devout who is not temperate Lord by how much Satan is more powerfull and malicious by so much make me more wise and circumspect that my intentions may be good my words gracious my actions vertuous my life holy my death happy Blessed God How large a portion of my little time have I bestowed on sin how eager have I been of it how negligent in asking pardon for it Lord pardon my unmindfulness of holy duties make me more watchfull for the time to come that I may constantly resolve upon amendment of my evill wayes and willingly endure thy fatherly afflictions for them Forgive those sinfull houres that have unfitted me for thy service suffer me not O Lord to wander in the waies of wickedness and when at any time the frailty of my wretched flesh shall tempt me to exceed those blessed bounds which thou hast set me O let thy saving grace restrain me let not this sinfull freedom captivate my precious soul to thy dishonour and mine own deserved shame but let thy gladding Spirit be my joyfull comfort to refresh me in life and protect me in death Make me more zealous more intent upon the wayes of godliness Lord suffer not my pious resolutions to abate with any outward obstacles let me not lean upon these broken reeds but rest on thee the rock of my defence and safety Make me content to leave these earthly vanities for thy sake who wert willing to forgoe Thy heavenly Throne for mine though the frailty of my nature hath too often led me into the bondage of sin yet let the freedome of thy grace now guide me into the footsteps of sorrow that this blessed sorrow may be turned into joy and that this joy the world may not take from me Lord open mine eyes that I may see the blessednesse of goodnesse the perfect freedome of thy service the glorious liberty of thy children so shall I willingly submit to thy commands and joyfully partake of thy rewards Blessed God with humblenesse of soul I offer up my self unto thee Lord Jesus accept of me and so assist me with thy grace that I may wholly dedicate my self to thy glory Amen CHAP. 23. Upon Unchristianlike dulnesse in affliction Lord I cannot live without crosses unlesse I can live without sin when they come therefore I will bid them welcome for thy sake from whom they are sent not one of them can afflict me without thy leave who hast directed their course limited their power let me not repine at that which I have justly dâ—served let me rather rejoyce that thou vouchsafest me this favour if I were not thy child I should not be under thy rod if thou Lord didst not love me thou wouldst not scourge me no outward thing can so well assure me of thy favour as the fellowship of thy sufferings for if I suffer with thee I shall assuredly be glorified together with thee Holy David was in trouble and it was good for him O let not that which was good for him be evill for me Lord if thy physick be bitter yet it is wholsome if it make me heart-sick now it will make me healthfull hereafter if I disturb it not by mine impatience it will work in me the quiet and the happy fruits of true repentance and amendment of mine evill waies it will remember me that I am a Stranger and a Pilgrim here that there is nothing in this life but wearine e and sorrow it will drive me from the penury of sin and tyranny of Satan to the riches of grace and liberty of goodnesse it will encourage me to walk worthy of the richnesse of my calling in Christ Jesus it will make me willing to goe home to thee my heavenly Father where I shall feel no more pain find no more sorrow suffer no more affliction where thou Lord wilt wipe away all tears from mine eyes all grief from my heart Thou O Lord alone knowest my disease and canst best temper my potion each degree must be answered so much sinfull pleasure as I enjoy so much sorrow must I drink and woe be unto me for ever if I drink it not if I tast not of this cup here I shall drink of the very dregs in hell Thou O Lord who hast freely forgiven me my sins hast not fully remitted my punishments thou who didst undergoe the misery of life and the bitternesse of death for me hast neither bought off the one nor taken off the other from me by thy sufferings I am fully and for ever freed from the guilt and torments of sin by mine own corruptions I am liable unto the act of sin and so even unto death allso as a temporall punishment for sin Thou camest not O Lord wholly to abolish sin in me but to become righteousnesse and sanctification and redemption unto me not to abate my sorrows but to uphold my sufferings that I being thereby made conformable unto thee in grace may hereafter be partaker with thee of thy heavenly glory How fearfull ought this to make me to commit sin how carefull to avoid occasions of allurements to it how thankfull how joyfull to receive Gods Fatherly chastisements for it I may here see and joyfully admire the wisedome justice goodnesse mercy of my heavenly Father his justice in punishing sin his wisedome in the proportion and end of this punishment his goodnesse by susteining me under it by redeeming me from it his mercy by making it to work for me a far more exceeding and eternall weight of glory Lord he that can droop under thy Crosse shall never follow thee to thy Crown when I once find the lightnesse of this load by the strength of thy supporting grace I shall then feel to my souls exceeding comfort that one sin is of more weight than an age of sorrow And now Lord I am joyfully prepared for the worst
not only safety inviolable but peace untterable safety in life and sweetness in death And now Lord when I enquire for what cause thou givest me all this I find nothing but thy meer love unto me when I ask what thou requirest for all this I hear thee demand no thing but the return of love what is more easy what more sweet than love and what object more aimable than that glorious being that is the perfection of al love that love the beauty of al perfection Thou canst not give Lord what thou hast not the glory of thy creation is but a glimps of that grater glory of thine essence Lord who can deny thee Love how sweet is this yoak how light this burden when I love thee I enjoy thee and my self in thee I possess thee I rest in thee for ever O my God all that thou givest mee all that thou requirest of mee is to make mee happy to thee be glory for ever Amen Blessed Lord All this I joyfully confess thou hast done for mee and yet the whole course of my corrupt life hath been nothing elce but a continued Rebellion against thee mine Eyes full of Adultery my tongue of Corrupt communication my hands of oppression mine eares open to iniquity my heart full of hypocricy my feet Lame in thy paths and swift to walk in the wayes of sinners my whole man nothing elce but the very body of death and destruction I have sinned against precepts against promises against mercies against judgments against the checks of mine own conscience and the blessed motions of thy holy Spirit I have even tempted my temptations by making daily and hourely provisions for sin and have been so farr from sorrowing for all this that I have resolved to continue yet still And yet so great is thy compassion towards mee that still thou storest up new mercies for mee Lord I bewail my weakness I lament my willfulness I abhorr my filthiness I heartily desire and earnestly endeavour to unrip my soul to ransack my heart to unlock the very secrets of my thoughts that I may have all my sins continually before mee even in their worst appearances and I may loath them and leave them and obtain thy gratious pardon for them I confesse Lord that I am utterly unworthy to enjoy this blessed light which I have so much abused to thy great dishonour much more the light of Grace by which thou leadest me to that of Glory and that it were more just with thee for ever to deprive me of these happy lights and to expose me to the terrours of eternall darknesse Lord I have finned and cannot chuse but sin I am a great and grievous sinner and yet I am thy child have pity upon me have pity upon me for I am in misery into the bosome of thy tender love I thrust my sinfull soul for safety and protection O let not thy justice triumph in my ruine but thy mercy in my deliverance so shalt thou have the glory and I the sweetnesse of mine eternall happinesse Hear me O Lord and help me for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy Sons sake Amen CHAP. 3. Vpon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for Noon Blessed God WIthout thy holy providence no creature can subsist by thine Allmighty power they were created out of nothing and if thou shouldst not sustain them they must needs return to nothing how wisely how wonderfully doest thou guide and govern these inferiour creatures All things are at once disposed of by thee and move successively to their appointed ends but above all how gratiously hast thou provided for the good of man what varieties of food how secretly how sweetly disposed it to sustentation No creature can be nourishing without thee and with thee I enjoy not onely nutriment but delectation how sweet is this thy goodnesse to my body how much more sweet thy mercy to my soul and if thy temporall refreshments are so good how ravishing is that celestiall food with which thy Saints and Angels are delighted Lord how undeserving am I of these thy many favours Thou givest rain to the earth and it becometh fruitfull thou loadest me daily with thy blessings and loe I am unthankâ—â—â— even those creatures that are insensible are daily nourisht into augmentation and man alone whom thou hast made to live for ever contents himself with daily diminution This wofully appears by my deadness and dulness in my Christian calling by my back wardness to Holy Duties by my carelesnesse and coldnesse in prayer wearinesse in reading irkomenesse in meditation by my faint Hope sick Faith luke-warm Love frozen Charity lame Patience languishing Zeal and all those other visible decayes of Goodness which are none other than the very symptomes of a dying soul Ah now Lord how miserably deformed must I needs appear in thy fight that am thus ugly in mine own Thou that hadst compassion on me when I was in my blood and then saidst unto me Live that hast washed me clean from sin and pollution and espoused me into thine own bolom wilt thou allso love me in death Wilt thou court me in the grave How justly mightest thou for ever leave me to mine own ruin that can so easily so willingly forsake thee for the pleasures of sin and yet how sweetly how affectionately doest thou order all things for me Even my very sins invite me to a more happy to a nearer Union with thee To thee therefore O my God the life of my life the very being and assured comfort of my sinfull soul and wretched body do I address my self for mercy and forgiveness I confess my self unworthy of thy gracious providence in sustaining this frail and infirm body much more unworthy O Lord of thine unspeakable love in reviving relieving imbracing my deformed soul Blessed Lord who am I of whom thou art thus tenderly compassionate When I was in the womb I was defiled with sin when I came out of it I was covered with shame the World bewitched me the Flesh besotted me the Devill beguiled me Lord when no eye pittied me then thou badst mercy on me and now at last when I am run from thee when I have adulterated my first Love when I am become poor and wretched and miserable and blind and naked thou freely forgivest me thou callest me thy fair one and givest me thy love O my God I admire thy Goodness I deplore and abhor mine own wretchedness O let the sweetness of thy love in Christ inflame the dying sparks of my benummed soul to praise thee without ceasing Expatiatc my narrow thoughts with day'y contemplation of my heavenly home with joyfull expectation of the sweet fruition of Eternity O give me such a blessed raptasie of soul that I may live above the reach of humane misery and reign with thee hereafter in immortall glory CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulness shortness and uncertaintie of life A Meditation suited to the Evening
subordinate to this sweetness Christian liberty may be easily mistaken and become licentious wickedness there is often-times most danger in those things which seem most necessary if not used with moderation And now Lord having seriously considered what time is and wherefore I admire the folly and lament the misery of all those whose onely aim is to mis-spend it My dayes are few and full of evil O let my greatest care be to husband my time well I have much business and great to dispatch and I know not whether this dayes lâ—ght may be my last Mine eternity of joy or sorrow hath its dependance on this short moment If I think upon it seriously I shall grudge to spend one minute vainly Lord there is no distinction of time with thee one day with thee is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day O let me seriously consider that with me there is that I must work while it is called to day that mine houres are swift and short that the night of death cometh when I cannot work that the end of all things cometh when time shall be no more By thy grace therefore I will piously devote the remnant of my life to holy duties so shall mine age of sin be nothing in thy sight and one day well spent in thy remembrance as a thousand years Blessed Lord Wilt thou accept of such a sinfull creature as I am to appear before thee to approach unto thee to sue to thee for mercy How bold am I to look up unto thee with these adulterous eyes that have so long been gazing on these earthly joyes how much presuming on thy mercy to implore thee with that tongue that hath so much provoked thy displeasure how impudent to offer that disloyall heart unto thee that hath so fast been wedded to this sinfull world Lord when mine own wretchedness had brought thy gracious visitation on me when thy hand pressed me sore when thine arrows stuck fast in me and the venome of them drank up my spirits when my heart was in hcaviness and my soul in bitterness when my life was drawing near unto the grave when mine own conscience pleaded powerfully against me and the terrors of a second death were ready to devour me I then earnestly implored thee for mercy and thou freely forgavest me I then begged my life of thee that I might thankfully devote the remnant of my life unto thee Ah Lord how wretchedly hath mine own heart deceived me what serious vows and faithfull promises did I then make unto thee and yet how carelesly how foolishly am I departed from thee how vainly have I trifled out that precious time which thou hast given me how justly mayst thou now deprive me of this wretched life by which I have so much dishonored thee And now Lord when I have even wearied out my self in wickedness when my soul is overcharged with sin and my heart with sorrow when the vanity of this life is ready to forsake me and there is nothing left but misery and shame to seize upon me I have not yet resolved seriously to come unto thee Lord leave me not unto the weaknesse of mine own infirmities expose mee not unto the raging hillowes of these strong temptations suffer me not to sink into this depth of sin to be destroyed by this dreadful storm of Satan and mine own accusing conscience rebuke these windes and waves and cause a blessed calm within me reach out thy hand of mercy and support me strengthen my drooping soul that I may joyfully and faithfully lay hold upon thee give me a fixed heart that I may seriously return unto thee and may this hour be graciously accepted of thee Lord wean me from the false imbraces of this evill world turn all these sinfull joyes to bitterness unto mee make me to see their foulnesse and deformity their emptinesse and vanity their shortness and uncertainty their falshood and flattery their wearinesse and misery O let my heart be filled let my soul be ravished with those transcendent joyes of thine which are for ever give me a joyfull soul to rest securely in them a ready heart devoutly thankfull for them Lord moderate my desires to outward injoyments let me rellish no sweetnesse but in thy love no goodnesse but in thy grace no comfort but in the full assurance of thy glory Forgive those wretched houres which have been stoln from thy service O Lord my God I heartily bewail them and willingly resolve to spend my days in sorrow for them Make me more watchfull over my corrupt heart more carefull of my precious time more serious in the weighty work of my salvation more sorrowfull for sin more mindfull of the hour of death and day of judgejudgement That so I may affect the pleasures of this life soberly enjoy them sparingly and leave them cheerfully Amen CHAP. 20. Upon the great danger of deferring the hour of repentance COnsider O my Soul of the great danger of delaying thy repentance of judging that so easy which will prove so difficult of thinking that allmost finisht which is scarce yet begun Believest thou it will suffice thee to have some transitory thoughts of thine amendment to have perhaps some pinching sighs some stings of conscience some shews of sorrow for thy sins to hang down thy head like a bulrush for a day and yet afterwards to return with the dog to thy filthy vomit and with the sow to the wallowing in the nasty mire of sin While thou continuest in this course thy hopes of amendment are extreme doubtfull of reconciliation dangerous of repentance desperate If ever thou hopest to inherit heaven let not Satan thus delude thee look well into thine evill and corrupt heart and thou shalt there find that this is not the cure but the discase of sin that thou grievest not for thine offence but for thy punishment that thou mayst yet go much farther in this supposed path of thy repentance and still be far short of that sincerity of heart which God requireth of thee and yet have no part nor fellowship in Christ Thou mayst with Saul express thy sorrow with thy tears with those Beleevers in the Gospel receive the word with joy with Demas shew thine inward grace by thine outward obedience and in some sort be made partaker of the Holy Ghost and have a tast of the good things of the world to come and yet for all this come far short of this unfeigned work of true repentance Alass what can it profit thee to bewail that sin which thou wilt not forgo what reward canst thou expect for that obedience which so soon fainteth what comfort in that joy which is but temporary Remember how great a work thou hast in hand how many millions of lost souls complain eternally in hell of this neglect O look into the foulness of thy sin and then into the trueness of thy sorrow If thou art Gods child thou wilt be grieved for offending of so good
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
with this subject thou hast just cause to suspect thy loving to fear thy enjoying it for Where thy treasure is there will thy heart be also If thou livest the life of Pleasure thou art so much worse than a beast by how much thou oughtest by reason to be better if of Action thou art so much nearer to happiness as reason is beyond sense and yet so much farther off as Grace is beyond Nature if the happy life of heavenly Meditation thou art so far above vanity as heaven is above earth as immotality above nature as glory above corruption O how sweet are those thoughts which lead me to Eternity which raise my soul above the reach of humane misery that can support me under all the heavy pressures of sin under all the grievous burdens of sorrow under all the sharp assaults of Satan that 〈◊〉 make me merry in life and triumphant in death Nothing can more truly represent me to my self and inform me that I am all earthly than the dullness and backwardness of my thoughts to be heavenly Who can ever hope to be an inhabitant of that City whose language hee cannot speak Lord when my thoughts are more zealously affected with thy heavenly joys I shall then hope to be more frequently acquainted with thy heavenly visits by my careless neglect of the one I am now justly deprived of the sweet enjoyments of the other while I am wedded to this wretched world my thoughts must needs favour of corruption But if thou Lord wilt once open mine eyes to see the glorious beauty of my heavenly home I shall then know and joyfully confesse that one hour thus spent will adde more comfort to my fool more true content to my desires than all these outward blessings and I shall then account and joyfully confess with thy Apostle that all things are but loss and dung in compare of the richness of thy love in Christ Jesus For thou O blessed Saviour art the blessed Fountain of eternall happiness the joy of my heart the triumph of my joy the comfort of my life the safety of my body the rest of my soul without thee I am far worse than nothing and with thee I enjoy all things for thou art in the Father and I in thee and thou in me and in this happy union is contained that fruition is enjoyed that for ever-blessed vision in which the souls and bodies of thy Saints eternally delight themselves O thou soveraign of my soules eternall comfort how unworthy am I to enjoy thee that have been hitherto so much unâ—indfull of thee how undeserving to behold thee in thy glory that am so daily guilty of thy great dishonour Lord raise my thoughts to immortality and fix my soul upon the love of sweet eternity let my chiefest joy be ever to contemplate thee who art my chiefest good Pardon those wretched hours that have been lost in search of outward happiness O make me to redeem them by abandoning the creature and placing mine affections wholly on the beauty of the great Creatour expatiate my sinfull soul with daily meditations of my future joyes that I may love thee more fervently fear thee more dutifully desire thee more earnestly long for thee more heartily embrace thee more faithfully and think of thee more joyfully to my lives end Amen CHAP. 33. Upon unchristianlike Dejectedness in Poverty WHY doe I excruciate my soul with apprehension of a seeming evill how unworthy am I of this life which I hold from that God whom I dare not trust will God feed me with the delicates of heaven and not give me bread will he give me full draughts of the rivers of his eternall pleasures and not afford me temporall refreshments shall my death be precious in his eyes and my life uncomfortable in mine own can there be any evill and the Lord hath not done it shall he doe it and shall I complain if poverty be evill in it self yet it is good for me the evill of sin hath drawn upon me this evill of punishment so this evill is from nature and the good from grace By this affliction I am weaned from the world and made desirous of my heavenly home I am now put in mind that my treasure being there my heart should be there allso I am now fully assured by my patience and humility under this affliction and by the quiet fruits of righteousness it daily bringeth forth in me that I am Gods child that as I am now made partaker of my Saviours sufferings so I shall be hereafter of his glory that I part with earthly contentments to enjoy heavenly comforts Lord when thou lendest me thy staff of consolation I shall be well able to endure thy rod of affliction all though my body be worse I shall then find my soul to be much better my present condition happy my future blessed In what estate soever I am I will think that best because thou Lord hast put me there if my calling be low my account will be the less if I discharge this faithfully I shall not lose my reward Thou O Lord lookest not upon my greatness but my goodness my faithfulness in thy service A pin in thy materiall Temple was as usefull as a stone if I be any thing in thy spirituall it is enough yet let me not content my self with easiness and indifferency in heavenly blessings but labour to supply mine outward wants by inward graces so shall this earthly bitterness be turned into spirituall sweetness and eternall blessedness Thou O Lord hast alotted me my portion in this life most agreeable to thy Divine Wisdome most suitable to my frail condition and why take I then thought for to morrow sufficient unto the day is the evill thereof Thou allowest me lawfull means for increasing of it thou forbiddest me repining thoughts to distrust thee in it Lord let me first seek thy Kingdome and the righteousness thereof and then I know assuredly that all things needfull for me shall be added to me O thou blessed Saviour of the world who for my sake wert willing to endure the scornfull poverty of this life to purchase my redemption teach me by thine example and for thy sake to undervalue all the glorious pomps of these enticing vanities that though my body be despised by the world my sinfull soul may be accepted with thee and both soul and body may eternally be happy where thou art Lord by how much by thy great sufferings thou wert made the vilder for me by so much by thy rich mercy let thy love be ever dearer to me O give me graces suitable to all events let not prosperity puff me up nor adversity too much deject me but for thy mercy sake let happiness in Christ be all in all unto me make me humble in the one patient in the other thankfull in either bappy in both Grant Lord that no ungodly care or sinfull sorrow may disturb me but that I may with willingness and thankfulness and
their help much more vain for who can ransome the soul of his brother surely man must let that alone for ever My substance is a meer shadow and my rest unquietness I labour for holiness but I cannot attain it I search for happiness but I cannot find it the Devill beguiles me of it the World allures me from it yea so sad is my condition that mine own soul is against mine own contentment Mine understanding cosens me mine affections betray me my memory forsakes me those things which I would doe I cannot and I daily doe those things which I would not all that I am all that I can be in this life is nothing else but extreme vanity What shall I think of all this and wherewith shall I comfort me by thy mercy Lord I have found out one that can relieve me Thou O my blessed Saviour art unto me life and by thee death is unto me advantage while my body sleeps it shall rest and that rest shall be truly blessed I shall rest from labour from sorrow from sin my sleep shall be safe my vision happy while my body sleepeth my soul shall awake when my soul is uncloathed of flesh and my flesh of beauty my spirit shall be made ready with the robes of glory while my dust is insensible my spirit is intelligible mine eyes shall be then opened and I shall see even as I am seen with purity and perfection of soul no veil of nature shall obscure me no defect of organes hinder me no clouds of sin molest me mine understanding shall be clear mine affections pure my memory perfect I shall there be satisfied in beholding ravished in injoying blessed in reteining nothing can be there wanting where I enjoy all that was that is that is to come where the happy humanity is eternally united to the blessed deity where I am Christs and Christ is Gods O happy condition of my sinfull body O blessed change of my immortall soul the one is sowen in corruption that it may rise to immortality the other layeth down corruption to inher it glory though I now leave it I still long to enjoy it and joy exceedingly in longing for it because I know I shall for ever be united to it But wo is me even in this happiness I am still miserable I have found out my quiet but I care not to enjoy it death offers me a crown and I refuse to accept it am I so sensless to affect mine own unhappiness to rejoyce in labour and complain of rest what doe I here any longer the world loves me not nor I it why do I thus dote upon mine enemy when it frowns it afflicts me when it smiles it betrayes me there is nothing in it but weariness and misery Go out therefore O my soul go out cheerfully from thy prison to thy palace God is thy father and heaven thy country thou art here distressedly poor and wretchedly naked bereaved of graces dispoyled of goodness thou hast there much treasure and of great price a fair mansion and a goodly heritage Christ hath purchased it and is gone before to prepare it Thou longest much in this life to behold that which thou never sawest here are great and glorious things prepared for thee such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither have entred into the heart of man to conceive how earnestly shouldst thou long to see them how much more earnestly to enjoy them how willingly should this make thee to express thy self with holy David and say My soul is athirst for God yea even for the living God when shall I come and appear before the presence of my God Alass my soul thou art here but groping in the dark daily erring and mistaking hourly stumbling and salling into sin into shame into sorrow in great danger of the miseries of life in greater of the torments of eternall death All that thou knowest here is to know thy self ignorant Thou onely knowest things here by their events thou shalt there know them in their first causes thou art here wearied out in gaining this imperfect lame and empty knowledge thou shalt there delight thy self in knowing all that is desirable by knowing him in whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge these drops of transitory joyes are full of bitterness those rivers of eternall pleasures are derived from the fountain of eternall sweetness thou hast here vain pomp to delight thee thou hast there a far greater and more exceeding weight of glory to encompass thee thou art here enthralled by the misery of life thou art there inlarged by the blesedness of death Blessed Lord all this by grace I know and saithfully believe and yet by nature I am still blind and ignorant unable to discern unwilling to desire those blessed things which are belonging to mine everlasting peace but when thou in thy rich mercy shalt once open mine eyes to see the beauty of my heavenly home I shall then entirely love it and unfeignedly long for it I shall then most willingly forsake these tottering walls of my frail flesh to dwel with thee in pâ—rfect holiness and endless happiness that frailty may be swallowed up of immortality and immortality may be imbraced by eternity O thou which wert and art to come who hast sweetned death by thy perfect obedience and perfumed the grave by thy blessed sufferings suffer me not in my last hour for any pains of death or terrors of hell to fall from the fast hold of a true and lively faith in thy promises to lose the precious hopes of immortality and sweet enjoyments of eternity Lord let me then say with thy blessed Apostle That I know whom I have trusted that he will keep what I have delivered to him and restore it safely unto me at that day Let me seriously consider of the misery of life and blessedness of death acquaint me every day with the remembrance of it and bless me every hour with a desire unto it that I may willingly uncloath my self of sin and misery and joyfully be cloathed upon with immortalitie O Lord prepare me for that blessed hour and in my greatest weakness and extremity even then when all the comforts of this wretched life shall fail me Lord Jesus forsake me not be not thou far from me O give me then that inward joy that blessed comfort of thy holy Spirit that may support and comfort me in all the terrors and amazements of this dark and unknown passage in all the dreadfull accusations of the devill and mine own accusing conscience Lord let thy blessed Spirit then witness to my soul that I am thy child that thou wilt purge away all my dross and take away all my sins that I am powerfully protected by thy grace and shall assuredly be made partaker of thy glory Amen CHAP. 36. Upon the great Neglect of Opportunities in doing good unto the Saints Lord WHen I call to mind the richness and the largeness of thy bounty
thee Lord as this holy motion came from thy heavenly Spirit so enable me to the performance of it by thy grace to thy glory and my soules eternall comfort I vow my self a serious and professed enemy to all ungodlinesse no sinfull thought shall surprise me without a sorrowfull sigh no ungracious word pass me without a sudden retractation and devout confession no wicked action defile me without a sincere and godly humiliation unto each measure of sin I will allow a due measure of sorrow those sins that have been reigning over me shall at set houres be constantly revenged by me and as my body hath been a deep sharer in my sinnes so it shall allso be a dayly sharer in my sufferings I will at set seasons deny my self somewhat of these outward enjoyments which thou Lord in mercy hast allowed me as a true sign of my true sorrow for that sinfull excess which I have too often taken without thine allowance Those sinfull houres which have been vainly lost in idlenesse and emptinesse shall be willingly redeemed in a constant observation of religious duties no day shall passe me without a solemn and devout task of devotion no hour without some sweet ejaculation And when at any time the troubles and disturbances of this frail life shall deny me happy opportunities for these heavenly performances what is wanting in act shall be made up in desire which thou Lord I trust wi lt graciously accept and look upon as done because faithfully intended O thou infinitely wise and for ever blessed being that art truly and eternally happy without the sinfull service of thy creature and yet commandest us to serve thee for our own sakes that we allso may be happy in thee thou that lovest not a false and fickle heart nor delightest in the sacrifise of fooles give me a wise and understanding heart that I may seriously consider of this sacred Vow give me a constant and religious heart that I may chearfully perform what I have faithfully promised give me a broken and a contrite heart that I may bitterly bewail what I have foolishly neglected that thy great name may be glorified my sinfull life amended my conscience quieted my spirit comforted thy Saints delighted thine Angels rejoyced and my soul and body eternally saved in the great and dreadfull day of the Lord Jesus to whom with thee O blessed Father and thine holy Spirit be all possible praise and honour and glory now and for ever Amen CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of Gods Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godliness Lord To close up these imperfect lines as I began with that beauty of holinesse which thou thy self art and is essentially contained in thee so my soules desire is to end with that blessednesse which we thy Saints enjoy even in this vale of misery and is eternally derived from thee that so I may begin and end with thee who art the beginning and end of thy creature that I may lead thy servants from the pure fountain of true holinesse to the sweet streames of inward happinesse wherein we may securely bath our weary soules in rest and quietnesse untill thy gracious goodnesse shall conduct us home unto the full fruition of those joyfull rivers of thine endlesle pleasure I am no sooner entred upon this blessed search but I find my soul ravished with admiration at the greatnesse with apprehension of the goodnesse with contemplation of the freenesse of thy love and favour towards me I see thee the great and glorious God of heaven and earth from all eternity out of thine own gracious goodnesse without all possibility in me when I was not either of desiring or deserving this inestimable love of thine electing me in Christ of whom thou hadst no need from whom thou couldst receive no benefit unto holynesse and happinesse in this life and unto blefsednesse in that to come and as I find this love of thine to be purely simply admirably and eternally great so is it also truly necessarily sufficiently and permanently good If it were not truly good it could never make me truly happy if not necessarily good I might then enjoy happinesse without it if not sufficiently good my happinesse enjoyed by it could not afford me satisfaction in it if not permanently good what I enjoy in satisfaction I may want in perfection by being suddainly removed from it But thou O Lord hast graciously afforded me all these degrees of happinesse that I might be truly and eternally happy that I might be happy in thee because there is no attainining happinesse but by thee that I may be happy in soul and happy in body happy in life and happy in death happy here and happy hereafter Thou O my blessed Saviour art sweeter unto me than all sweetnesse thou art that blessed All-sufficiency by which I am both fully and for ever satisfied thou art my safe repose my inviolable peace my rich rest my safety in life my comfort in death my glory after death By thy patient sufferings I am more than conqueror of sin of sorrow of death of hell by thy glorious resurrection I have assured hope of immortality by thy blessed ascention of eternall glory by the one thou hast powerfully defended me against the rage and malice of devils by the other thou hast graciously exalted me in thy blessed union with me above the nature of Angels thy peace thou hast left with me thy peace thou hast given unto me even that blessed peace of conscience which the world cannot take from me and that eternity of peace with thee in thy Kingdom which thou Lord in thy rich mercy hast prepared for me O that I might now lose my self with contemplation of thine endlesse love that I might be ravished into extasie with apprehension of my present safety of my future glory that all my faculties of soul might be but one entire and pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse unto thee that as thou O my Saviour and the Father are one so I may be one with thee to magnifie thy gracious presence here and to be for ever where thou art hereafter to see thy great glory and enjoy mine own end lesse felicity From this for ever blessed fountain of eternall happiness doe plentifully flow those pleasant streams of comfort to the souls and bodies of the Saints even in this life by which they are securely quieted and joyfully contented even in the very worst of times which either mans malice or the Devils cruelty can study to inflict upon them if they receive injuries they return prayers they entertain them with a Father forgive them for they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 and Lord lay not this sin to their charge Act. 7.60 And so while they lose outwardly they gain inwardly godliness is great gain for by patience they possess their own souls Their courage is undaunted for The righteous is hold as a Lion able to encounter the fiercest affliction ready to withstand the strongest
THE SINNER'S TEARS IN MEDITATIONS AND PRAYERS By THO FETTIPLACE Dom Pet Cantab. Mat. 3.2 Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand LONDON Printed for Humphrey Moseley and are to be sold at his Shop at the Prince's Armes in St. Paul's Church-yard 1653. The SINNERS TEARS By T.F. Iuâ—â—â— Suhitp tâ—â—vâ—scrâ—â—it Paenitentia 16 LONDON 53 Printed for Humphrey Narley at the Princes Armes in St Pauls Churchyard TO THE RIGHT HONORABLE RICHARD Lord Keble one of the Lords Commissioners of the Great Seal of England and the much Honored Mary his truly Virtuous and Religious Lady Grace and Peace My honored Lord I Know not where to find a fitter Patron for tears than your Lordship the constant Series of whose happie daies hath been an exact pattern of true Piety and but one intire Oblation of fincere Devotion Greatness and goodness are the best supporters of decaying Holiness by the one she is defended from suffering ill by the other incouraged in doing well These high and happy Ornaments together with my nearness of blood unto your Honors nearest relation and mine infant education in that gratious Family to which as to the happy instruments I thankfully ascribe my first ingraftings into Christ are strong perswasions to invite me to presume upon your Honors Patronage of this small tract and humbly to present you with a tast of such wholsome fruits as by divine increase have had their growth from those precedent blossoms If ever kneeling were in season now is the needfull time when there is not onely wrath gone out from the Lord against us but even the blood Vialls of his fiercest wrath are daily powred down upon us I willingly confess my self to have been too deep a sharer in those grievous sins which have inforced these heavy judgements what I cannot recall I desire heartily to bewail and as a true signe of mine unfeigned sorrow according to the measure of my weak abilities have penn'd these following lines accept of them I beseech you as humbly devoted to your honors service and read them as the disturbed notions of my distracted meditations That holy Providence which hath directed their ends will I trust supply their defects even this the least of graines by that mercy may become a fruitfull tree and branch it self into matter of commemoration to the learned of instruction to the ignorant of help to the weak of comfort to the willing of joy to the good of terror to the bad of happiness I trust to all that are directed to it and especially unto their soules that stand in greatest need of comfort from it I shall not presume to inlarge my self with wast expressions because I know your Lordships more weightie affairs will not admit of such fruitless indeavours I shall now onely crave your Honors leave to end with Orisons as you have been both holy in your lives so may you be happy in your deaths blessed in your memorialls may those hopefull pledges of your loves be faithfull earnests of your joyes and future branches of the Churches Peace may they all by your examples go on cheerfully and joyfully in those pathes of Piety which lead to rest and quietness that their seed-time being sorrow their harvest may be joy that all tears may be wip'd from their eyes all sorrowes from their hearts This is my honored Lord the most affectionate desire as a kinsman the most zealous as a Christian of The most humble of all your Honors Servants Tho Fettiplace To the Christian Reader All Christian Consolation Reader THe miseries of this distressed age are such and so many that I know well a subject of joy would in the worlds eye appear more seasonable and be far more acceptable after such a deluge of sorrow but that heart which is as truly sensible of the weight of Sin as of the burden of Misery will surely find that there is no true joy but in godly sorrow that there is more complaceney of soul in one repentant tear than in an age of pleasure with grief of heart I confess that much of my little time hath been vainly spent I now therefore willingly resolve to lament my lost houres and shall account it my chiefest happiness on earth to spend my short remainer to my best advantage I beseech thee therefore for thine own sake to consider with mee that God hath-reserved us unto the last the worst the very dreggs of time that our transgressions are innumerable our calamities unmatchable our griefs unutterable that our dayes our houres our minutes perhaps are few and full of evill that it were even now most just with God to bring them to an end that Satans cunning is unsearchable his malice implacable and without divine assistance unresistable that there is no one minute of our whole lives in which we are not exposed unto many great dangers both of souls and bodies and wee shall then find that it behoveth us to watch and pray that it mainly concerneth us to store our selves with such fit remedies as may either inable in the combat or support us in the foil Such humble Confessions and devout Prayers as by Gods mercy I have found agreeable to mine own condition I have here published for the good of thine and such true comfort as I have enjoyed in them I heartily desire may be derived to thee from them And my humble and most earnest petition unto Almightie God is that as wee have been deep sharers in sinning and in suffering so wee may also be devout sharers in sorrowing that the Vialls of our teares may pacisie the Vialls of his wrath that so his fierce anger may be appeased our crying sinns pardoned our bad consciences quieted our bleeding hearts comforted our languishing desires relieved our sad divisions ended our distressed Church restored our dear Country preserved and our sinfull souls and bodies eternally saved With this happy resolution of timely contrition I joyfully imbrace thee and earnestly intreat to be imbraced by thee that by this blessed Union of our souls upon Earth wee may at last enjoy each other in those sweet imbraces of Eternity which is the cordiall desire and shall be the daily and devout prayer of Thy servant in all good affections and hearty well-wishes in Christ Jesus Tho. Fettiplace The Sinners Complaint AH Lord so long what sudden fears What cares and doubts what sighs and teares Since last thou did'st afford thy loving look Have me oprest And rob'd of rest Because thou Lord thy servant hast forsook If not a look yet hear me speak And pittie me O do not break Thy bruised reed why should'st thou strive with man Whose dayes are done When but begun Sith thou great God hast measur'd out his span Amaze me not with fearfull things Give me thy grace O give me wings Of swift desire and holy zeal to raise My soul to skies With powerfull cryes That I may sweetly warble forth thy praise Thou art my Centre fix me there Or move me in thy
blessed Sphere Suffer me not dear Lord to moove from thee There is no rest But in thy Brest And in thine absence present misery O that I were at rest with thee Or else that thou wert come to mee Since in thine absence I am so distrest Thy wrathfull frown Hath thrown me down And rais'd a storm in my unquiet brest Come Lord and close these wretched eyes So blear'd with sins and miseries Resolve this erring heart to tamer dust Which every day Thus sleals away That it may rise more joyfull and more just THE SINNERS JOY All my Soul why so dismai'd Why so sad so sore afraid Canst thou think those gratious eyes Drench'd in tears for thee Can disdain such powerfull cryes Such humility Sinners soules must sorrow keep Man may mourn when God can weep Soul though thou hast done amiss Yet rejoyce for thou art his See his soul was sad to death In his agony Sad to case thy wofull breath In thy misery Be not faithless but beleeve Man may sigh when God can grieve Do not grudge to lend a tear Can'st thou doubt or can'st thou fear Can'st thou see his bleeding heart And not believe him Wounded soul that bears a part Can never grieve him Timely tears are precious seed Man may weep when God can bleed Be not so cast down Alass See his soul forsaken was Frighted with his Fathers frown Left in paines of hell Ah why art thou so cast down 'T was to make thee well Doubt not but admire his cost Man may stray when God was lost Soul when thou art left alone Do not deem thy Saviour gone When thou canst not see his face 'T is to let thee know That those sinnes with-draw his grace Which brought him so low See where he in grave doth lie Man may faint when God can die Weep no more but wipe thine eyes See O see thy Saviour rise Happie Soul thy debts are paid He is ascended Death is not be not afraid All woes are ended Grieve no more believe and live Man may take when God can give DEO SALVATORI WIth sighing Soul and bended knee Thy Servant vowes himself to thee My God accept a broken heart Bleeding for Sin O thou which art The Soveraign balm vouchsafe to bee My dearest Lord that Balm to mee Inlighten with thy saving grace Those eyes thou guidest to this place And grant dear God those fins of mine May not obscure that Grace of thine Amen THE SINNER'S TEARS The Entrance to the Work THere is no man but naturally desireth Happiness even those unhappy ones that least endeavour for it have oftentimes an earnest longing to it there can be no true Happiness without Peace no true Peace without Holiness without offering violence to our corrupt affections without ransaking our soules and searching out the very secrets of our Sinfull hearts the wordling may be outwardly merry but none but the sons of sorrow can be inwardly contented that outward Joy may delight for a season but this inward Peace remaineth for ever Peace is the richest Jewell in a Christians Cabinet the choisest Legacy that Christ bequeathed to his chosen ones in it there is a complication of all Blessings and without it an expectation of all Miseries there is no attaining to it but by the search of him who is the giver of it there is no following this search but by that path which leadeth to the ready way and there is but one guide that can direct us unto that path Blessed God there is no way unto thee but by thee thou art life and thou art the way to that life and thou art the guide to that way thou Lord art all in all unto me and therefore shalt be now and ever praised by me In all awfull reverence to thy sacred Majestie in fear and trembling at the sight of thy severe Justice to impenitent sinners in serious apprehension of thy sweet mercy in forbearing me a miserable wretch and with unfeigned forrow and humilitie of heart for grieving thy good Spirit I here dedicate the short remainer of my sinfull dayes to thy service In thy name and in thy fear I begin my discourse who art the God of peace by whose holy Spirit I am guided to this happy search Lord lead mee in it by the same Spirit that I may become an instrument of glory unto thee of happiness to thine of rest to mine own soul CHAP. I. Upon the consideration of our sinfull thoughts touching the Sacred Deitie with holy cautions to order our Devotions aright Lord WHen I seriously consider what thou art the least glimps of whose eternall glory I can no way see but by conceiving what thou art not when I look upon the vast distance between thee the blessed Creator and mee thy sinfull Creature I cannot but wonder at thy great patience at thy rich goodness at thine endless mercy towards mee My whole life from my nativitie hath been a continued course of sinfulness against thee mine actions highly rebellious my thoughts finfully wicked even the very best of them a dark confused indigested heap of misconceivings of thy sacred Majestie Thou Lord art an Essence most glorious most inconceivable eternallie injoying Blessedness in the fruition of thy self thy Centre is every where thy Circumference no where thou admittest not of Augmentation nor of Diminution no length of time is bâ—yond thee no depth of wisdome beneath thee no height of glory above thee no bredth of mercy beside thee Thou aâ—tâ—o Lord a most pure simple and eternall beeing Pure without matter without form Simple without mixture without composition Eternall without beginning without end no Created being can express thee no imagination conceive thee no understanding utter thee when I think of thee as thou art the bright beames of thy glory amaze mee when I conceive of thee what thou art not the terrors of mine own heart affright mee even but the Least thought of this kind is impious seeing that hereby I do not onely rob thee of thy glory but even deprive thee of thy self and yet Lord as thy being is most high so is the search thereof most necessary because from it as from the blessed fountain I enjoy my present I exspect my future happiness and unto it with joy of heart and earnestness of soul I desire should run the current of my praises in this life of my Allelujaes in that to come When I find therefore any Corporall parts appropriated to the Divine nature I there see thee gratiously descending to the weakness of my frail and infirm nature and ever bless thy holy name that vouchsafest to declare thy self not as thou art but as I am Thine Eye Lord is thy Wisdom thy Right hand thy Power thy sitting thine Immutability thy Standing thy Fortitude thine Anger thy Justice in punishing thy Repentance thy Mercy in pardoning thy Hatred of sin thy Holiness thy grieving thy Loving kindness thy Patience and long suffering thy Goodness all are thy self Neither is it
resolutions to adhere unto thee that as thou art truly and eternally one in thine Essence and yet distinctly three in thy Persons so I may be truly and entirely one in my obedience although distinctly three in my faculties that all may be but one and that a pleasing sacrifice of praises unto thee of profit unto others of comfort to my self Forgive my misconceivings of thy sacred Essence my rash approaches to thy heavenly presence my cold careless irreligious thoughts distracted words undesent actions Lord I am sailing on the stormy sea of ignorance and misery O be thou my sure Pilot to direct me my sweet calm to refresh me my safe harbour to receive me for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be glory for ever Amen CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of Gods Love and mans Unthankfulness A Meditation suited to the Morning Blessed God WHen I consider of the richness of the largeness of the constancy of thy love to man of mans vileness and untowardness unto thee his God I stand amazed at thy goodness and mine own unthankfulness How great and invaluable a blessinge do I enjoy in being made partaker of the glorious light of this present day how vile and unworthy am I that receive it how great and glorious art thou that givest it Thou O Lord art light inaccessible unto which no mortall eye can approach before whose glorious Majesty the blessed Angels stand amazed and I am dust and ashes yea worse Lord for dust was thy creation and therefore in its entity was good before I was dust I was not at all This not being by thee became a being this being beautifull this beauty immortall and without thee this happy being is again become far worse than not to be What can be more vain more empty than nothing ah wo is me I am now become far worse than nothing thou madst me all goodness and that goodness might have made me all blessedness but I have made my self all sin and this sin hath made me all misery there was darkness in not being but that darkness was incapable there is greater darkness in being ill for this darkness is most capable of the privation of all light of comfort in this life of the fruition of the blackness of darkness in hell for ever This Lord was my condition in nature and without thy gracious help must have been so for ever Let me now see what my condition is by Grace by which I enjoy not only the light of nature without which my life would prove uncomfortable but allso a sweet and safe assurance that thou wilt by this happy light conduct me safely to the blessed light of Glory Blessed Lord I can now look no way but to happiness I now find a true sweetness and composedness of soul a constant and courageous setledness of heart even in the very heighth of all the disturbances of Nature of all the inundations of Sin of all the fluctuations of Sorrow of all the Machinations of Satan from the sweet fountain of thy mercy arise those pretious streames of Consolation which aboundantly relieve mee in this barren wilderness I find indeed a law in my members continually rebelling against the law of my mind but I find also thy grace to bee sufficient for mee by which I am victorious here and shall be triumphant hereafter Satan may strive to winnow mee like wheat but this shall make mee the purer for thy Granary I now find a totall and a blessed change of the whole man mine affections which formerly were captivated unto sin intirely devoted to thy service my love with holy David wonderfull to thy law my hatred perfect against sin my desire eager for thy presence my fear astonishing in thine absence my delight in thy promises ravishing my joy in thy performances triumphing By these rich indowments of thine I am wrapt up above the reach of humane misery all vain and empty desires of the besotting pleasures of this life appear truly as they are but thornes and bryars to disturb the growth of my felicity how sweet is their loss for thy gain how easily how willingly how joyfully how thankfully are all these foggy mists of ignorance and error happily disperst by the bright rayes of my ensuing glory Beside these fawning enemies of Peace which flatter to unquietness I am now able to incounter with those other which affright the soul even in their first appearance and are able to deject the carnall man even to astonishment and utterly to expose him to the tyranny of sin and torture of punishment such Lord is the vast difference between the blessed ones of thy fold and those unhappy ones which stray from thee into the strange pastures of impiety No sorrow can surprize mee but for sin and even this too thou makest to increase my joy what affliction can be evil which is thy physick who art the fountain of all good if it be grievous in the tast it is joyous in the effects If I mark the happy close I must with joy confess that these bitter storms wil end in blessed calms will bring to my remembrance those grievous sinns that brought my Saviour to those bitter groanes will force mee from the sorrowes of this life to my Celestiall harbour will bring mee on my knees to see mine own vildness will inrich mee with the graces of humilitie and patience and together with them the sweet injoyments of thy blessed Spirit and if so how can I complain of want when in stead of earth I enjoy heaven Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour afflictions tribulations crosses sinns Satan Death hell it self shall work to mine advantage as my cross is more grievous my crown shall be more glorious where sin and Satan have been most prevailing there Grace and Goodness shall be more triumphing How truly sweet Lord is the inviolable peace of thy saints who powerfully compellest even the very rage of earth and hell to work to their advantage Lord sanctifie the trialls of this life unto my sinfull soul that by my patient sufferings with my Saviour here I may have peace with him and by him hereafter I have hitherto looked on mine inward happiness if I now cast mine eyes upon mine outward I shall there see that all these outward blessings allso are most peculiarly belonging to the Saints the wicked ones of the world are robbers and shall one day give an account of their theft children friends strangers even our very enemies are protected preserved inriched blessed for our sakes so was Joseph and his brethren for Jacob Zoar for Lot Potipher for Joseph the Centurion and souldiers for St Paul And if thou Lord wilt look so lovingly upon the children of this world for thine elect sake how gratiously wilt thou one day look upon those sonnes that shall be made partakers of thine own inheritance Who would not now bee holy seeing that in this blessed condition there is
Lord WHen I call to mind how many daies have past me without bending of a knee how many nights I have gone prayerless to bed I may well wonder that I am this hour alive to speak unto thee I have been too unmindfull of thy holy providence and am therefore utterly unworthy of thy mercifull protection Few and full of evill have my dayes been in the house of my pilgrimage I know not how soon I may goe hence and yet I still live as if I knew not why I came hither I am many wayes invited to my heavenly home how sweetly doest thou wean from the miseries of life by the blessedness of death By this Evenings rest of my body I am put in mind of that eternall rest of my soul This dayes ending tells me that the end of all things is at hand that the fashion of this world passeth and that all things shall become new As this hour is the Evening to this day so this day for ought I know may be the Evening to my whole life I cannot challenge to my self one minute more how vain am I to promise dayes and years Lord in the whole current of thy Sacred Story I find but onely one that durst presume upon so large a reckoning and him thou brandest with the name of Fool Let his folly Lord be my instruction so shall I account each day my last and neither care to live nor fear to dye How many have been snacht out of this life how suddenly and to mans eye how fearfully How unspeakable is thy mercy unto me to spare me for repentonce how often and how earnestly hast thou invited me to mercy how coldly and how carelesly have I refused these thy gracious offers still I sin and still thou forgivest and which is the height of my impiety I therefore am more and more evill against thee because thou art more and more gracious unto me and it were now most just with thee even this very moment to put a period to my sinfull life Lord Let this teach me to improve the short remnant of my dayes to thy service and that I may endeavour so to doe I will prescribe my self these following rules Each evening shall take a strict account of that dayes traffique for my soul and where I find my self a loser I will labour for supply When I awake my first thoughts shall begin with thee from whom I have my first being Nothing will more truly represent me to my self than the first view of mine affections if my first thoughts be seasoned with grace my following actions will savour of goodness My care shall be more to dress my soul than to trim my body I will think no pains too great no ornaments too rich to make her beautifull One devout sigh from a contrite heart is of more worth in thy sight than an hours task of Lip-devotion My affections are the soul of my words without which I speak onely but pray not when my prayers are cold my hopes may well be comfortless My set hours for Devotion shall be constant no pretence of nature shall debar me of this happiness The Lovers eyes are often glancing on the pleasing object that delights him if my affections be sincere my looks will be amorous I shall often steal a sweet Ejaculation to satisfie the longing of my Love-sick soul When I can thus bring the day to an end my life will be comfortable my death happy and I may then say with holy David that I will lay me down in peace and take my rest for it is thou Lord onely that makest me dwel in safety Blessed Lord in the morning of my Creation thou gavest me unto my self in the evening of my Redemption thou gavest thy self unto me My Creation was wonderfull my Redemption astonishing As this dayes light is obscured for the rest of my body so wert thou the blefied and eternall Light for the rest of my soul Thou O blessed Saviour art my light to direct me my heat to comfort me my sweet and safe repose eternally to refresh me Gracious God With humble and dejected heart I ask forgiveness of the many failings of my sinfud life past recall my sinfull thoughts to my remembrance Lord as the burthen of them is intollerable so let my grief for them be unutterable Lord open mine eyes that I may see the foulnes and the filthiness of sin and apprebend the greatness of thy wrath against it Forgive those actuall sins which this dayes light hath witnessed Lord give me a godly sorrow for them a perfect batred against them a fixed and a constant resolution to forsake them Lord cleanse me from my secret and unknown sins and keep me for thy mercy sake that daring and presumptuous sins may never have dominion over me Make me a carefull Steward of that pretious time which thou haft given me withdraw my affections from the vain pleasures of this sinfull life and grant that all the dayes of my appointed time I may wait readily and chearfully untill my change shall come CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto Gods House Lord THere is no mortall man worthy to stand at thy door much less to appear in thy presence and yet how often have I presumed to approach unto thee without that preparedness of heart without that dejection of soul without that true and holy reverence that becometh thy child I am now going out of Egypt into Canaan out of Bondage into Freedom The sinfull troubles of this life are my souls Taskmasters to load it with a burthen insupportable and this is that place of sacrifise that Mount of God to ease and solace it Consider therefore O my soul in what relation thou now standest to thy God If thou art a true Israelite thou wilt look back upon thy drudgery and despise it and offer up thy self a living sacrifice with cheerfulness with thankfulness of heart If thou art Gods child thou wilt love to be in Gods house Long for Gods presence thirst for his favour delight in his Word and rejoyce to be often at his Table Thou wilt make it thy chiesest joy to be often in that place from whence thou mayst expect thy chiefest good Lord by thy grace assisting I will now uncloath my self of all earthly affections I will call to mind unto whose presence I approach and wherefore that I am going from this Church Militant to that Triumphant that thou Lord art as truly present here in Grace as there in Glory unless therefore I am in love with misery I will leave behind me all earthly-mindedness and carry with me a pure heart and heavenly thoughts a lowly mind and reverend gesture Lord if I go not cheerfully to thy Throne of Grace I may well fear I shall never go joyfully to that of Glory The lowest room in thy House shall content me Divine Worship admitteth not of disparity of persons we are all sinners and as we are in nature most impure in thy sight the
his gracious performances I now enjoy that blessed Peace of God which passeth all our understanding My deliverance is wonderful my freedom absolute my peace unalterable my joy unutterable My conscience is now quieted my spirit ravished mine enemies vanquished and my God wel-pleased To thee therefore O thou blessed Fountain of eternall sweetness do I address my joyfull soul to love and honour thee to my lives end Lord Jesus accept of me and so powerfully and graciously assist me that I may savingly behold thee in thy blessed promises that I may happily enjoy thee in thy holy Ordinances that I may clearly see and joyfully confess what great things thou hast done for my poor soul that I may be dayly ravished with apprehension of thine exceeding love and hourly husied with recounting thy endless praise Lord make me to forsake the sins and miseries of this life make me more watchful over my corrupt heart more zealous of thy glory and thy childrens good that I may never willingly offend thee but wholly sacrifise the short remainder of my dayes unto thee that so my heart and my flesh may triumphantly rejoice in thee the living God Mortifie my corruptions support my weakness accept my willingness Let this my humiliation before thee be a pleasing sacrifice unto thee for his alone sake whose precious life thy rich mercie hath sacrifised to thy Justice for me Lord hear me and have mercy on me for his alone sake whom thou hast freely given unto me that I may truly love thee devoutly serve thee earnestly imbrace thee eternally enjoy thee Amen CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto I Am now going from mine own home and know not whether I shall ever return God I know hath set a pâ—riod to my dayes beyond which I cannot pass but when or where or how my life shall end I am uncertain Many are the dangers that attend this sinfull life and many more my sins that have deserv'd them I can neither number the one nor foresee the other this is the wretched and the sad condition of my body and without unfeigned sorrow for my sins the much more wofull case of my distressed soul Lord there is nothing so sweet as thy love nothing so safe as thy protection and yet I have carelessy neglected the one and thou mayst now justly deny me the other thou hast woed me to mercy and I have refused to come thou hast graciously invited me by thy continuall preservations by thy fatherly sustentations by thy gentle corrections by thy faithfull promises and thy rich performances Blessed Lord how wonderfull are thy compassions towards me when I am unthankfull for thy many favours when I am unmindfull of mine own miseries even then thou graciously providest for me and yet for all this I have not hitherto resolved seriously to come unto thee Such and so many are my sins so great is my unthankfulness that I now tremble to appear before thee and yet so tender is thy mercy to me that thou again allurest me to comfort and contentment Lord into the blessed bosom of thy love I cast my self for safety and protection and in the midst of danger even in death it self will joyfuliy rely upon thee For thou O Lord art my strong rock and fortress unto which I will alwaies resort Lord keep me as the apple of thine eye hide me under the shaddow of thy wings Strengthen my weak faith against the strong assaults of Satan support and comfort me in all the fears and terrors of mine own accusing conscience protect and keep me in this present journey let thy holy Angels be my blessed Guardians to protect me in life to preserve me in death to assist me after death O let me never grieve those blessed Spirits which though invisibly yet most assuredly are my attendants Lord as thou hast given them readyness and cheerfulness of mind to watch my preservation and further my salvation so give me carefulness and constancy of soul to joy them in my life and conversation And seeing Lord I cannot know my hour of dissolution O teach me so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto heavenly wisdom that I may obtain a sweet assurance of thy love in Christ unfeigned sorrow for my sins a sincere and constant heart to thy service and a cheerfull readiness at thy call Amen CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey I Am now by Gods gracious providence returned safe unto mine earthly home but am still travelling to my heavenly There is nothing in this life but labour and sorrow nothing in that but rest and happiness and yet I dote upon the one and neglect the other Lord if my treasure were with thee my heart would be there allso When thou givest me more knowledge of thee I shall have more desire to come unto thee When my sins have made me more sensible of mine own misery thy Grace I trust will make me more capable of thy sweet mercy Lord if this vain unquietness be so refreshing to my mortall body how truly blessed will thy heavenly rest be to mine immortall soul When thou Lord wilt wipe away all tears from mine eyes all akings from my heart when there shall be no more death neither sorrow nor crying nor any more pain when soul and body shall triumphantly and joyfully repose themselves in thee for ever when they shall drink freely of the rivers of thy pleasures and be for ever satisfied with the fatness of thy house I confess my self unworthy to enjoy this outward rest in this mine earthy home much more unworthy to enjoy that inward rest that sweet assurance of a lively hope to be partaker of eternall rest How wretched is my body without this outward quietness How much more wre ched is my soul without thee Thou O Lord art my shield to defend me my staff to uphold me my food to sustain me my wine to glad me my beloved to embrace me my pleasure to delight me my joy to ravish me my sweet and sate repose for ever to refresh me Let this teach me Lord to fix my thoughts on heaven and heavenly things to use this world soberly in thee and to thee to view it truly as it is a barren wilderness a transitory vain and empty thing far inconsistent with my reall happiness to desire nothing to enjoy nothing in the creature but onely in and unto thee the great Creator so shall no vain pleasure bewitch me no unjust profit beguil me no sudden sorrow dismay me no terrors of conscience affright me To thee O thou soveraign of my soul do I devote the remnant of my sinfull dayes to love thee to praise thee to honour thee to rest in thee for ever Lord wean me from the sins and miseries of this life and raise my thoughts to immortality Let the sweetness of thy heavenly joyes relieve the harshness of my worldly sorrows that misery may
be swallowed up of mercy and frailty of eternity Vnite me in a blessed union with thee that I may constantly adhere unto thee and be for ever graciously accepted of thee O give me a sweet complacency of soul in thy service and a willing and a dutifull obedience unto thy commands Lord give me a thankful heart for all thy mercies to me for thy continuall preservation for thy blessed supportation for the injoyment of thy needfull comforts in this life and for the glorious hopes of those in that to come Blessed God so sublimate my sinfull soul that I may see the richness of thy love in Christ that I may soberly enjoy thy blessings here and faithfully exspect thy joyes hereafter Lord all that I have without thee is meer emptiness and nothing meer vanity and worse than nothing my glory shame mine honor ignominy my health ruin my riches poverty my gain loss my pleasure pain my laughter madness Thou O Lord art all in all unto me O grant that nothing may withdraw my service from thee that no inticing pleasure may allure me that no distracting care or sinfull sorrow may disturb me but that my soul may now and ever safely and contentedly rely upon thee Lord thou seest all my desires and my continuall groanings are not hid from thee Thou alone knowest how weary I am of the sinful travailes of this life how earnestly I long to be at rest with thee Lord pardon all my sins and put an end to all my miseries Come Lord Jesus come quickly wipe away all tears from mine eyes and bring me to that rest of thine which never shall have end Amen CHAP. 12. Upon the great danger of Security DEceive not thy self O my Soul it is not so easy a matter to inherit Heaven as thou imaginest there will be much fighting sweating bleeding much compunction of soul subjection of body hard pressing towards the mark for the price of the high calling in Christ Iesus before this happy conquest can be gained Consâ—der therefore in what condition thou now standest what ground thou hast gained of thy corrupt nature how much better thou art this day than the day past than the year past than thy whole life past nay rather how much worse by adding sin unto sin by drinking in iniquity like water by treasuring up wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of thy righteous judgement Philosophy will tell thee that in all naturall motions the nearer they are to ending the more violent their motion is Divinity will tell thee that in old age thou wilt be fat and well liking what increase of love hast thou to Gods Law what growth of hatred against sin what bosome-sin hast thou parted with what gratious improvement hast thou made in Knowledge Faith Repentance Love and all those other gifts and graces which concur to thy perfection Holy Saint Anselm was often heard to say If I could from hence behold the pains of hell from thence the horrour of sin I would rather embrace those pains than this horrour O what growth of grace was here how far am I from this degree of holinesse how easily perswaded to delude my self with shews and shadows of perfection There is no attaining unto happinesse without holy violence without beating down my body without cherishing my soul if I conquer not here I cannot triumph hereafter Lord when I look into the strictnesse of the lives of thy Saints I much lament the folly of mine own I see holy David in sackcloth and ashes consuming whole daies and nights in mourning for sâ—n washing his bed with his tears afflicted in body tormented in soul grieving crying roaring for unquietnesse of heart Blessed Paul subduing his body by fasting watching praying toyling in the Ministry and thou my blessed Saviour in continuall labour and sorrow for my sake how vain is my trust how false my hope how great my errour to believe I run when I stand still to expect a triumph without a victory a victory without a combat Lord if many that strive to enter in at the strait gate yet shall not be able what shall become of me who am so far from coming to thee that I every day am running from thee who am not onely opposite unto thee but even enmity it self against thee Sometimes I feel the stings and gripings of a wounded conscience I know my self to be a grievous sinner but I quiet my disturbances by thee my Saviour I willingly accept of mercy from thee but grudgingly repine at service to thee thou biddest me indeed to drink freely of the waters of life but thou commandest me allso to make my calling and election sure to work out my salvation with fear and trembling thou ordainest not the end without the means if I rebelliously neglect the one thou mayâ—st most righteously deny me the other Lord what can it profit me to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season when I deprive my soul of happinesse for ever O let this teach me to deplore my dangerous condition to goe on chearfully in the waies of godlinesse to think no cost too much no pains too great no grief too good to purchase Heaven to consider seriously that time once past can never be recall'd that this hour may be my last and bring me to eternity of torments where the stream is stillest there the chanell is deepest where there is least distrust there is usually most danger Satan therefore disturbs me not because I sleep in death But when thou Lord shalt open mine eyes to see the subtilty of this Deceiver I shall then find that the waters of sin are gone over my soul that I am wofully drowned in the great depth of security and can expect nothing without mercy but Satans cruelty and mine own endlesse misery To that sweet mercy therefore I appeal with earnestnesse of soul and humblenesse of heart bemoaning my sinnes bewailing my transgressions O Lord my God when I consider of thy gratious goodnesse and mine own vilenesse I am utterly ashamed to appear in thy presence Thou hast often called me to repentance but I have not hearkned unto thee thou hast lovingly invited me to mercy but I have wilfully refused thou hast clothed me with thine own garment and I have shamefully defiled it thou hast enriched me with thy grace and I have robbed thee of thine honour All this and infinitely more than this thou hast freely done for me the worst of sinners and yet for all this I have rebelliously forsaken thee and most ungratiously been most unmindfull of thee And now Lord seeing that I am dead and putrified in sins and rotten in corruptions what else can I expect from thee but to be buried out of thy sight and yet thou still sayest unto me live O thou blessed Fountain of eternall good convey those happy streams of comfort to my sinfull soul that may revive me from the grave of misery open mine eies that I may see thee in thy
long patience in thy great goodnesse in thy rich mercies in thy fatherly affections towards me I am wofully sunk into the deep mire of sin where no stay is Lord uphold me by thy grace that I perish not eternally O deliver me for thy mercy sake for I am helplesse and poor and my heart is wounded within me Let my soul live and it shall praise thee and thy judgements shall help me As thou hast raised me by thy power so rule me by thy providence that thy grace may be far sweeter with my sufferings than my pleasure with my sins Restrain my loose desires renew my good purposes assist my weak endeavours correct mine errours sustain my infirmities give me a godly sorrow for my sins a thankfull heart for thy favours a filiall fear of thy judgements a sincere love to thy laws an holy constancy and happy perseverance to my lives end Amen CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Presumption ALass my Soul how vain art thou how wretched to presume upon the mercy of thy God how canst thou be so foolish to believe that God will favour thee in that which he so severely punished in his own Son thinkest thou that pretious bloud was spilt to cherish sin Be not mistaken for as Christ Iesus came into the world to save sinners so he came allso to call sinners to repentance Doest thou argue well to say because God is mercifull long-suffering and of great goodnesse therefore I will abuse his mercy in sinning his patience by my long continuing in sin his great goodnesse by my great unthankfulnesse is not this to mock his mercy to bid defiance to his justice to arm him with fury to invite him to revenge Assure thy self the longer he is in drawing his Bow the more forcible will he send his Arrow Deceive not thy self therefore God will not be so mercifull to thee as to be unjust to himself All the waies of God are Mercy and Truth Mercy to support thy weaknesse Truth to correct thy wilfulnesse There is therefore Mercy with him that he may be feared not that he may be slighted not that he may be shamefully dishonoured How full of falshood is thy bold presumption thou criest Peace Peace when sudden War is ready to destroy thee There is no peace to the wicked saith my God Heaven and Earth are up in Arms against thee and there is none left not so much as thine own Conscience to deliver thee Thou hast gratiously received the knowledge of the truth thou hast grievously sinned against the light of that knowledge thou hast wofully continuâ—d in thy sins without remorse of conscience without desire of repentance and there now remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a searfull looking for of judgement and violent fire that shall devour the Adversaries O remember that the Angels for one sin were thrown down from Heaven and that Adam for one sin was cast out of Paradise Thy sins O my Soul are innumerable thou hast had line upon line and precept upon precept and yet thou addest sin upon sin and transgression upon transgression Thou hast sinned against many pretious promises against many gratious performances against many fearfull judgements thou hast grieved that good Spirit by which the Saints are sealed up unto the day of redemption All these are heavy aggravations upon thee to fill up the measure of thy sins and hasten the swiftnesse of thy punishments Ah how sad is thy condition thou hast not onely wearied out thy self in wickednesse but thy God allso hear what he faith unto thee how he complaineth of thee by his holy Prophet Behold I am pressed under you as a cart is laden with sheaves Amos 2.13 and yet thou still addest more load but as thou addest sin upon sin so thou callest for wrath upon wrath as thou hast made a mock at sin so God will make a mock at misery as thou hast thy measure in sinning so God will have his measure in punishing Consider what he saith unto thee by his Prophet Judgement will I lay to the rule and Righteousnesse to the ballance Esay 28.17 18. As he hath a bottle for thy tears so he hath a bag for thy transgressions Job 14.17 their growth is recorded their number accounted their nature examined all sealed up against the great and fearfull day of the revelation of the righteous judgement O consider this thou that forgettest God lest he tear thee in pieces and there be none to deliver thee Think how suddenly thou mayst be snatcht away by those infernall Fiends to endlesse torments and then what tears will be enough to weep thine obsequies to quench those everlasting burnings But then alass instead of tears of compassion thou shalt have mocks of derision the cursed Devils will laugh thee to scorn the blessed Saints and Angels will rejoyce at thy confusion and God himself who onely can relieve thee will for ever hide his tender mercy from thee Awake therefore out of thy sleep of death look well into thy lost estate thou art now near unto making up the measure of thy sins beyond which thou canst not passe Thy God hath said to thee as to the Sea hitherto malt thou goe and here shalt thou stay thy proud waves Think how suddenly thou mayest be called to thy last account even this very hour for ought thou knowest those cursed Spirits may convey thee to thy fiery Prison O think how powerfully the wrath of God will then seize upon thee how wofully thou wilt excrutiate thy self with apprehension of thy former folly and last of all how wretchedly thou art forever banisht from eternall joyes to suffer with the damned in eternall torments Lâ—t this move thee to amend thy wicked wayes to cry mightily to God for mercy to judge thy self to condemn thy self that thou mayst not be judged of the Lord to Kiss the Son lest he be angry and so thou perish from the right way If his wrath be kindled yea but a little blessed are all they that put their trust in him Turn therefore unto the Lord thy God O my soul for he is gracious and merciful slow to anger and of great kindness and repenteth him of the evil Blessed Lord As an unfeigned sign of my repentance in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul I earnestly desire to search into the secreets of my sinfull thoughts to unbosom all my sins and lay them open to the view of all thy Saints that thou mayst have the glory they the good and I the shame of my confession that so this penitent sense of mine iniquities which I thankfully acknowledge cometh alone from thee may be an evidence unto me that thou wilt also give me pardon for them Lord I willingly confess my self to be a great and grievous sinner mine original defiled my birth polluted mine infancy stained my youth insnared my manhood corrupted mine age besotted Mine imaginations vain my thoughts sinfull my words wicked mine actions abhominable my
deformed and contemptible that mine own knowledge cometh far short of mine own misery O how justly mightst thou for ever leave me to my self to eat the fruit of mine own wayes and to be filled with the falshood of mine own devices to possess sorrow and inherit shame But thou O Lord who art infinite in goodness hast manifested to my sinfull soul that when I wretchedly forsake thee thou readily forsakest all to follow me when I run from thee thou bewailest me when misery compels me to return thou joyfully receivest me thou lovingly relievest me thou then graciously acceptest of me And now O Lord when I have even wearied out thy mercy and compassion towards me thou still invitest me to come unto thee To thee therefore O thou blessed Shepheard of my soul do I devote these penitent expressions O let those tributary tears which are due to thy sufferings be now plentifully poured forth for mine own sins Lord pardon my contempt of grace and graciously enable me to entertain these happy visits of thy holy Spirit and patiently to bear these sweet chastisements of thy heavenly hand that I may have fellowship with Christ and peace with God If thou Lord for the sins of my prosperity shalt think it fit to bring upon me the miseries of adversity for the great neglect of thy gracious visits to deny mee the sweet comforts of thy blessed answers yet give me patience and sure confidence to trust stil in thy mercie that so while I am most justly debarred of my longing desires I may not be utterly deprived of thy loving favours Lord cast me not away from thy presence O leave me not unto my self lest I perish everlastingly make me to see the richness of thy love and favour towards me Quicken the motions of thy blessed Spirit in me renew my good thoughts and six them wholly upon heaven and heavenly things Lord Jesus make me joyful in them and for ever truly thankful for them Make me willing to enjoy thee and ready to abandon all things for thee Lord I now seek thee but I cannot find thee I call upon thee but thou answerest me not O kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth for thy love is better than wine Lord let thy left hand support me and thy right hand imbrace me let me be outwardly and inwardly sustained by thee my weaknss by thy power my rebellion by thine obedience my folly by thy wisdom my pollution by thy sanctification my faith by thy fruition that I may be grieved for thine absence delighted in thy presence inamored with thy beanty inriched with thy bounty inflamed with thy love adorned with thy graces comforted with thy consolation incompast with thy glory Amen CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of Gods peculiar Providence to his Children Lord NOthing can befall me in this life without thy wife and over-ruling providence not so much as one hair of me can fail without thy allowance for even my very hairs are numbred as a Sparrow cannot fall to the ground so neither a hair from mine head without thy sacred leave And if thy blessed Providence protecteth these inferior creatures if it extend it self even unto excrements how much more safely doest thou guard the bodies how much more tenderly the soules of thine Elect Yet such is my stupidity by nature that I seldom look beyond the seond causes I usually content my self with casuals and contingencies and often judge that meerly accidentall which sweetly moves by thy commands to thine appointment and thy childrens good Thy Providence is eternall thy provision in time thou O Lord art infinitely wise and caust therefore provide infinitely well the end thou ordainest to thy self the means to thy creature good and bad are under thy protection the good for themselves the bad for others both for thy glory the one thou willest to be happy the other thou permittest to be miserable neither of them can avoyd their necessity of fate and yet thou neither inclinest the one nor inforcest the other because unto both in their originall thou gavest perfect freedome of will to chuse the good to leave the bad to inherit life or purchase death Blessed God we are all debtors in our first Parents thou mayst therefore most justly require that of us which was lent us in them They were able to pay but not willing we their wofull posterity as we are in nature are neither able nor willing But by thy grace Lord we are onely willing and not able and thou hast therefore sent thine onely Son who was both freely willing and fully able to appease thy Justice to reconcile thy Mercy to comfort us here to crown us hereafter And now Lord having given us thy Son how shalt thou not together with him allso give us all things and yet I often see thee giving of good things to the bad and bad to the good there is nothing more fiequent in this life than the afflictions of thy children nothing more common than the prosperity of the wicked they receive their good things in this life I shall enjoy mine in that to come when I shall be comforted and they tormented Thou O Lord art righteous in all they waies and holy in all thy works thou loadest them with thine outward blessings for their outward obedience thou deniest me these outward favours for mine inward advantage by the one they are left inexcusable by the other I am made more conformable my patience exercised my faith tried my love examined my humility proved all these are speciall tokens of thy mercy towards me for as grace increaseth here so shall glory hereafter Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour that knoweth assuredly that all these outward things shall work together for the best to his advantage If Joseph be thrown into the Pit it is to send him into Egypt if into Prison to preser him to Pharoah that so Corn may be sent into Canaan if Satan be sent to tempt Job with afflictions it is because Job shall overcome Satan by patience if holy David become a sad spectacle of humane frailty by sinning it is to make him a pattern of true piety in repenting if the bodies of the Saints be grievously martyr'd in this life it is to array them with glorious robes in that to come Lord let this teach me joyfully to entertain the saddest of events which either thy wisdome mans unrighteousness or Satans cruelty can bring upon me to be patient under them and thankfull for them to ransake my soul and search diligently there for what sin thou sendest this sorrow to bewail it abhor it forsake it and earnestly implore thy pardon for it When I am thus happily resolved I shall then have that undaunted boldnesse to say with holy Job Allthough thou killest me yet will I trust in thee with holy David Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death yet will I fear none evill for thou Lord art with me
and with thy blessed Apostle that I know assuredly that the sufferings of this life shall work for me a far greater and more exceeding weight of glory in that to come To thee therefore O thou blessed Guardian of my sinfull soul and wretched body doe I addresse my self for safety and protection I confesse O Lord there is no one minute of my whole life can be safe without thy gratious providence and yet so wretched have I been that few or none of them have been devoted to thy service Lord I am not worthy of the least of all thy mercies and of all thy truth thou hast afforded me even the very best of all my actions hath justly merited the very worst of all thy punishments and yet thou daily loadest me with thy blessings allthough I hourly sin against thee by my great transgressions Forgive me my unmindfulnesse of these thy mercies my great unthankfulnesse for all thy favours and fix my sinfull soul more willingly more joyfully more fervently more constantly on thy service Teach me to keep a catalogue of thy mercies to let none passe without a thankfull and devout acknowledgement to set some daies apart from the year some hours from each day to praise thee for them Forgive the pride of my prosperity my carelesnesse of thee my coldnesse unto thine my crossenesse unto others my cruelty to my self Lord pardon my repinings in adversity my distast of thy power my distrust of thy providence my deniall of thy wisdome my refusall of thy love my contempt of thy favour my neglect of thy grace my despair of thy goodnesse O give me such a blessed frame of heart that I may chearfully and joyfully content my self to walk in whatsoever paths thy blessed providence shall lead me to O hold thou up my goings in those paths that my feet slip not teach me to make a gratious and a sweet improvement of these outward crosses a blessed and a wise advantage of thine inward graces Lord lead me by thy counsell here and afterwards receive me to thy glory Amen CHAP. 16. Upon sinfull Anger and the great disturbance thereof Lord WHen I consider of thy patience and long-suffering towards me a miserable sinner of the lowlinesse of thy Saints and of the great humility and meeknesse of my Saviour in his sufferings I much deplore the wofull weaknesse of mine own infirmities and more admire the richnesse of thy goodnesse in admitting me to speak unto thee What pleasure Lord canst thou take in that service which is all sin how canst thou delight in that which thou abhorrest thou art a God of pure eyes and canst not behold iniquity if all my righteousnesse be in thy sight as filthy rags and menstiuous clothes how full of uglinesse and deformity will my sins then appear before thee Ah Lord thou hast often seâ—n how easily how suddenly how wretchedly I have been swallowed up of sinfull passion how I have violated that invaluable peace which thou hast given me by revengefull thoughts by despightfull words by disturbing actions I know nothing in my corrupt nature but to know my self miserable I see nothing in this misery but terrour and confusion affliction to my body destruction to my soul all occurrences of this life should have rather added to my growth of grace than disturbance of nature I have hitherto been grossely mistaken in calling that a defect of my body which is in truth an error in my soul Nature was at first created pure no disobedience was then in the passions Man hath marred it by his Fall all the Streams that are now troubled flow from this Fountain this barren excuse therefore is so far from lessening sin that it makes it bigger I am now so much the more stained by committing actuall sin as I should have been more holy and am not since original Lord let this teach me to deal truly with my soul to uncloath my self of all sinfull excuses that so sin may appear truly what it is and may become out of measure sinfull that mine Anger may be holy my application of it happy that nothing may disturb me but sin that I may be a Lyon in thy cause a Lamb in mine own that when I hate the sin I may love the person when I rebuke the offence I may pray heartily for the offender so shall I zealously enjoy thee my God religiously embrace my neighhour patiently possess mine own soul And now Lord as thou hast given me an heart to confess my sins of impatience before thee so give me a sweet assurance in my Saviour that by him I have assured pardon for them If thou Lord for my sinfull Anger shalt inflict upon me thy severe wrath and for my long continuing in my sins the long duration of thy punishments yet let not thy severitie exceed the measure of my Christian charity though thou continuest my miseries yet withdraw not thy mercies O make me more and more humble unto thee my God and more and more meek amongst thy children conform me to that blessed pattern of true piety and patience that as a sheep in thy hands my blessed Shearer so I may be dumb and not open my mouth against thee Lord banish from me all desires of revenge let Patience have its perfect work to quiet me here and crown me hereafter I confess my self to be a great and grievous sinner and yet I am thy creature my body is thine and my soul is thine both were joyned in thy creation and both are joyned in my devotion both have sinned against thee O let them both be humbled before thee not to satisfie thy Justice but to implore thy Mercy not to merit thy Grace but to magnifie thy Goodness Lord make me truly sensible of the greatness of thy misery that I may the more devoutly the more sincerely sue to thee for mercy Forgive the many violent erupcions of my sinfull passions give me a meek and humble spirit that I may happily enjoy thy presence and mine own content Lord grant that I may patiently and joyfully imbrace the wrongs and injuries of this life for thy sake who hast been patient even to death for mine Let that be made easie unto me by thy grace which by nature is impossible that nothing may delight me but thy love nothing grieve me but thy displeasure nothing offend me but thy dishonour Amen CHAP. 17. Upon mans inordinate love to the Creature WO is me that I am constrained to live in Meshech and to dwell in the tents of Cedar wo is me that I was conceived in sin that I was born in sin and that I have so long been captive to the power of sin How vain am I how wretched to beguil my self of rest and quietness O how unworthy to defile my Mariage vows to prostitute my love to these unclean and false embraces of a sâ—nfull world to dig unto my self these broken Cisterns of impure and empty joys and to forsake those living waters of
a Father thou wilt abhor that sin that hath so much provoked his displeasure thou wilt most solemnly protest against it and seriously resolve for ever to avoyd it thy sin will be ever before thee to humble thee here to exalt thee hereafter Thy degrees of sin will have thy degrees of sorrow thy measure of pollution will require thy measure of sanctification As thou hast given up thy members to be servants of sin so thou must now yeeld them up to be weapons of righteousness as thou hast been drowned in pleasure so thou must be drencht in tears yea those tears will be thy dayly food to nourish thee in grace to enrich thee in glory O how truly-blessed is that soul which hath unfeignedly resolved on this good this great this necessary work that can cheerfully and joyfully express it self with holy David and say Lord I am bowed down greatly I goe mourning all the day long I have roared out for very anguish and unquietness of heart If thou hast Davids sorrow O my soul thou shalt assuredly have Davids joy thou shalt say with him allso Lord I am thy child and the son of thine handmaid thou hast broken my bonds in sunder Psal 116.16 Satan may now tempt thee and through thy frailty and infirmity prevail against thee but to become a customer to evill the powers of hell cannot entice thee a thousand worlds are not now of that value with thee as the joyfull remembrance of thy passed dangers thy present comfort thy future safety Thou hast now seen O my soul how absolutely necessary this great work is think now how happy will be the performance how full of danger the delay the longer thou continuest in sin the more remote thou art from grace What extreme folly is this in thee to deprive thy self of that friend of whom thou hast most need If thou findest thy self so backward to this holy duty now how averse wilt thou be hereafter when sin is more deeply rooted in thee the devill in more firm possession of thee and God himself removed further off from thee From whence now are these false hopes these vain promises of future happiness how darest thou refuse these gracious offers of eternity how full of doubtfulness and extreme hazard is this false assurance of that holy Spirit which thou hast so often grieved Be not deceived God is not mocked look what a man soweth even that shall he reap he that soweth in the flesh shall reap corruption he that soweth in the Spirit life everlasting If thou wilt not hear Gods call in this life he will not hear thine in that to come if thou wilt not mourn for thy sins here thou shalt howl for them for ever And who shall then have pitty upon thee or who shall be sorry for thee or who shall pray for thy peace thou hast abandoned me saith God thou hast gone from me and now will I stretch out my hand against thee to destroy thee Jerem. 15.5 6 Lord let this teach me to deal truly with my self to search narrowly for sin timely for sorrow and speedily for pardon Seek the Lord O my soul while he may be found for in the great water-floods of his eternall wrath thou shalt not come nigh him Lord I have sinned and I desire to repent I have layen long festering in the grave of sin and cannot be now raised without a miracle I have sinned in delight in consent in action in custom in long continuance of custom without remorse of conscience without thought of repentance I am grown old and impudent in sin and am no more worthy to be called thy child Lord I am become loathsom to my self how much more odious unto thee who art a God of pure eyes and canst behold none iniquitie I have sinned against thee I cannot repent but by thee my transgression is active my obedience passive I can no more arise from sin than death even this desire of sorrow is from thee the repair of my corruption is the work of thy creation when thou hast raised me by thy grace thou supportest me by thy goodnesse thou leadest me by thy providence thou drawest me by thy patience thou compellest mee by thy power Such is my weakness such is my feebleness by nature that I cannot rise without thee that I cannot stand without thee when I am raised by thee such is my strength such is my ability by grace that I am able to go with thee that I am joyfull to run after thee Lord quicken and revive me from the death of sin and grave of misery sustain my wounded conscience with the sweetness of thy saving promises let thy patience and long-suffering lead me in to repentance thy holy Spirit unto perfect holiness and endless happiness Lord Jesus draw me and I shall joyfully run after thee my body in obedience to my soul my soul and body in obedience to thy blessed will more zealously more willingly more constantly to my lives end Amen CHAP. 21. Upon Servile fear and the danger thereof NO child can fear his father as lie ought that is not jealous of his fathers honour that is not feelingly affected with his injuries and zealously devoted to perpetuate his praise and it is as equally impossible that this father can affect that son whose obedience is rather enforced by power than invited by affection If this be so in Nature it is much more so in Grace for thou O Lord art now a double father to me thou art my father by creation and my father by redemption Lord as thou hast doubled thy goodness towards me I should have doubled my return of thankfulness towards thee Thy love to me is absolute no breach can dissolve it no time determine it thy love to me was from the beginning and whom thou lovest thou lovest to the end My love to thee is fickle false and full of imperfections and if my filiall fear even in my rest performances be full of spots and blemishes in thy sight how most deformed shall I appear when I serve thee with an irreligious and ungodly fear when I doe thy will repiningly and coldly not for love of thy mercy but for fear of thy justice when I am knowingly and willingly consenting to thy great dishonour when I am so zealous in the worlds cause yea too too often in the devils cause and so benummed in thine when sorrows dismay me and sins delight me Ah Lord how far am I from what I ought to be If I go on in this path I perish everlastingly while I continue in this course of disobedience I hang over hell fire by the slender twig of an uncertain life and if that once break my loss is irrecoverable Thou Lord hast sayd it and thy word is truth He which denieth me before men him will I deny before my Father which is in heaven Lord let this teach me to delight in thy service to be jealous of thine honor to thirst for thy
of afflictions which either sin or Satan life or death can bring upon me scourge me launce me bruise me break me doe what thou wilt with me here so thou spare me for ever Lord allthough thou killest me yet will I trust in thee for I know assuredly that all these outward things shall work together for the best for me and that my present sufferings thou hast sent in mercy to me to humble me for sin to preserve me from shame I kisse them I embrace them and am sincerely thankfull for them Lord let me clearly see for what sin thou hast inflicted this punishment that I may bewail it abhor it forsake it implore thy pardon for it when I am thus armed I shall be able to encounter thy fiercest affliction if I am found naked the weakest will foyl me To thee O Lord whose wise and over-ruling hand disposeth all occurrences of life and sweetly guides them to the good of thy children doe I addresse my sinfull soul for mercy and protection Lord open mine eyes that I may see and believe the constancy of thy love in the mutability of mine outward condition Give me a patient and a willing heart to welcome all the changes of this present life to be humble under them to rejoyce in them and be thankfull for them Forgive the pride of heart and prodigality of hand attending on my prosperous estate my great repinings and ungodly passions incident to my declining happinesse and increasing misery As thou hast weaned me from the pleasures of this life by the rod of thine afflictions so wean me allso from the sins of this life by the staff of thy consolations that so my heart may be wholly taken off from all earthly enjoyments that I may become even as a weaned child to forgoe willingly what thou deniest me to receive quietly what thou providest for me What I want of these outward blessings supply â—nto me by thine inward comforts which are inâ—finitely better for me and shall be therefore â—ver dearer to me Lord furnish me with graces suitable to all events and able to encourage me in all afflictions Lord sanctifie this present sorrow to my sinfull soul so sweeten it by thy grace that it may bring forth in me the quiet and the happy fruits of righteousnesse Make it a sure pledge of thy fatherly affections towards me let it daily and hourely draw me nearer to thy presence let it wean me from the miseries of sin and at last bring me to the sweet fruition of eternitie Amen CHAP. 24. Upon Unchearfulness in Christianity with incouragements to avoyd it AH Lord from whence is my uncheerfulness my dulness in my Christian calling how much below that glorious hope which thou hast given me When I consider of the richness of thy love in Christ I find thee to be all in all unto me and may well wonder at mine own unthankfulness and ignorance that is stll doting on this worlds nothing and uncertainty Thou O Lord art truly and eternally good and therefore able to derive eternity of happiness Before I was created I was thine and when I was not mine own thou becamest mine thou O my Saviour who hast given me thy sâ—lf canst deny me nothing What is too good too great too glorious for that soâ—â— which thou hast redeemed at so dear a rate â—s the price of thine own blood and espoused to thine own bosom Thy creatures are at peace with me thy holy Angels attend me guard me fight for me rejoyce at my conversion thy Saints triumphant pray for me the Devils fly from me and thou O Lord by thine all-mighty power and gracious providence art ever with me thou carest for me from the cradle to the tomb Thou art about my bed and about my paths and spyest out all my waies Yea Thy mercy embraceth me on every side when I sleep I am safe when I awake joyfull in prosperity I have thy rod to afflict me in adversity thy staffe to comfort me Lord while I am in thy favour I can look no way but to happiness if I walk not answerable to it I may well fear to be deprived of it And doubtless O my soul those eyes which look so graciously upon thee in this life will behold thee with a more earnest with a more endeared love in that to come these transitory glances are but the faithfull pledges of those future embraces Those arms of mercy which now support thee in thine often failings shall then encompass thee with glory those blessed hands which now chastise thee for thy rebellions will then wipe away all tears from thine eyes and that relenting heart which sometimes is most unwillingly withdrawn from thee for thy Apostasie will then unite it self to thine for ever Lord who can be a Christian and be sad who can believe all this and not triumph in joyfull exaltation and not insult over the sorrows of this life and not contemn the joyes of this bewitching world and not resist these cloudy discontented thoughts these close assaults of Satans never-resting malice Millions of Worlds Miriads of Angels cannot restore that cursed spirit to this happiness which thou now enjoyest and yet so slightly regardest O let this teach thee to abhor his foul temptations to consider of thy worth in Christ and to raise thy self above the reach of earthly misery to love thy God faithfully to serve him cheerfully to persevere joyfully to be patient in tribulation to rejoyce in hope to pray continually to thirst after the sweetness of his grace and earnestly to long for the consummation of his glory Blessed God How unworthy am I to be called thy servant who have so long been subject to the worlds commands how undeserving of the glorious liberty of thy Sons who have so willingly been fetter'd by mine own corruptions how uncapable of thy heavenly comforts that can rejoyce in nothing but these earthly vanities Lord open mine eyes that I may see the richness of the price of my high calling in Christ Jesus and endeavour to walk worthy of it that I may earnestly desire thee joyfully embrace thee and constantly and cheerfully devote my service to thee Forgive my drowsiness my dulness my backwardness to holy duties awake my sinfull soul from sensuallity and raise it to the blessed thoughts of sweet eternity Compassionate my weakness accept my willingness forgive my sinfulness quicken my dulness correct my untowardness Lord bring me to such a blessed frame of heart that I may willingly forgo the sins and miseries of this life and frequently delight my self with contemplation of thy joyes in that to câ—me CHAP. 25. Upon Mans sinfull frailtie in the hour of Temptation with motives to make resistance I Am now in the lists with Satan and this hour to fight the Lords battail God seeth me and his holy Angels see me I have long professed my self to be Christs souldier and he hath now brought me to the field to prove me now is
in the finall execution of this wrath in the eternall duration of this final execution Lord if my hopes of heaven were grounded on the weak foundation of mine own abilityes If mine Election were but temporary I might justly fear this desertion would prove eternall but now my comfort is that Christ is my strong rock on whom I am safely built that nothing can separate me from his love that his Decree of mine Election is particular sweet sure and eternal that the happy means appointed to this blessed end is faith holiness righteousness and sanctification holiness to obey thy precepts saith to embrace thy promises righteousness to enjoy thy Saints and sanctification to possess my self Thy blessed Decree O Lord is so far from giving me liberty to commit sin that it most undoubtedly restrains me from it If I cannot make my calling and election sure by thy decreed means of sanctification I shall never make my comfort sure by my vain hopes of glorification If I look upon Noah Lot David Jonah Christ himself I shall there see the several and the sorrowfull degrees of this Desertion Noah and Lot fearfully sinning David a long time resting in sin and wofully deprived of Gods gracious presence for sin Jonah even doubting of Gods favour in the suddenness and the sharpness of his punishment and thou O my blessed Saviour affrighted with the fierceness of thy Fathers wrath for sin and for a time as thou wert man despairing of his gracious prefence Be not afraid therefore O my soul for as thou art deferted for thy sins sake so thou art beloved for thy Saviours sake though he hide himself behind the wall of thy corruption yet he will graciously look through the lattice of thine humiliation Cant. 2.9 Even this thy present sadness will afford thee some refreshings some gracious glimpses of his holy Spirit and though thy heart be now disquieted within thee thou shalt again assuredly receive the voice of joy and gladness Lord let this teach me to abhor those sins that have deprived me of thy presence to seek earnestly to enjoy thee to rise early to find thee whom my soul loveth to settle mine affections upon thy beauty mine actions upon thy service that I may be guided by thy grace in this life and encompast with thy glory in that to come For thou O my blessed Saviour art infinitely dearer to me than the choicest of these earthly vanities their love is false and uncertain but thine true and eternall abundantly sufficient to rejoice me here to enrich me hereafter O Lord my God my soul longeth for thee I am weary of the sins and miseries of this life and nothing can relieve me but thy blessed presence O make thy face to shine upon me and save me for thy mercy sake My God my God look upon me why hast thou forsaken me and art so far from the words of my complaint O satisfie my longings for thou knowest Lord that I love thee Hear my prayer O Lord and hide not thy face from my supplications O hide not thy self from me nor cast thy servant away in displeasure Thou hast been my succour therefore leave me not nor forsake me O God of my salvation Make thy face to shine upon thy servant and save me for thy mercy sake O lead me from the bondage of sin into the blessed liberty of thy children that I may be comforted in the sweetness of thy promises and thou mayst be delighted in the zeal of my performances Give me the comfort of thy help again and stablish me with thy free Spirit O hide not thy face from thy servant for I am in trouble make hast and hear me Lord I am defiled with sin and disquieted with sorrow I am daily vexed with temptations and hourly overcome with vanity I am wretchedly infolded in the miseries of mine own corruptions and wofully beguiled by the devils subtilties O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me Lord I bewail my misery and implore thy mercy O that I were this hour at union with thee that I might hereafter joyfully adhere unto thee be graciously accepted of thee and for ever gloriously exalted by thee Amen CHAP. 28. Upon the apprehension of sudden danger BLessed God I know that nothing can befall me without thy holy providence even this present danger is by thine appointment and what thou hast designed it unto I know not I enquire not Lord give me a sweet and safe assurance that I am thine and then doe with me what thou wilt O let me live and I shall praise thee and thy judgements shall help me but if thou haft appointed me this hour to dye O let me then goe home unto thee and be united in a safer in a sweeter union with thee Lord hear me and have mercy on me for my dear Saviours sake who hath given his precious life a ransom for me Preserve me O God for in thee have I put my trust forsake me not O Lord my God be not thou far from me Lord strengthen and support my wavering faith forgive me all my sins and suffer not my soul to be surprised in my last extremity Hast thee to help me O Lord God of my salvation for thy names sake for thy promise sake for thy precious blood sake Into thy hands I commend my spirit for thou hast redeemed me O Lord thou God of truth CHAP. 29. Upon the weaknesse of Faith and sinfulness of Thoughts tending to Despair HOW much art thou mistaken O my Soul to think thy self then farthest off from God when thou art nearest unto him to suppose thy self then most wretched when thou art nearest to the paths of happiness He that never doubted never truly believed and he that hath least assurance in himself will have most certainty in Christ Thou hast sinned and thou art sorrowfull thou hast committed great and grievous sins and thou abhorrest them thou forsakest them thou heartily desirest pardon for them if thou hadst not a godly sorrow thou couldst not have this godly desire if thy sorrow were for punishment it would cause thy death but now it is for sin it will lead thee to repentance if thou grievest not so much for the severe sentence of an incensed Judge as for the displeasure of a good and gratious Father as thou sowest in tears thou shalt reap in joy nay thou shalt have great joy even in these tears thou shalt have much sweetness even in this sorrow and if thy seed-time be sweet how blessed will thy harvest be hear what thy Saviour saith Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted in sorrows here in eternity of joyes hereafter who can curse where God hath blessed what Devill can deject where God will exalt Thou art grieved for offending thy gratious God and thou implorest him for mercy comfort thy self in this that God is near unto all those which call upon him yea that call upon him faithfully Psal 105.18 Be not afraid
joyfulness of heart contentedly rely upon thee Enrich my heart with heavenly thoughts give me that better part which cannot be taken from me Lord what thou deniest me of these outward comforts make good unto me by thine inward mercies that all these earthly things may work together to the best to mine advantage so shall my present poverty be an undoubted earnest of my future glory Amen CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat AS every good and perfect gift is from above so is allso every punishment for sin by every proportion of sorrow For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Iob 1.5 6. That Divine Goodness which wisely and affectionately disposeth all things to the good of his chosen by his holy providence hath suited their degrees limited their powers and appointed their ends every pain in sicknesse every pang in death have their just number weight and measure I't is the Lord let him doe what he will nothing can befall me but by his Divine allowance nothing shall dismay me that my God inflicteth on me if my visitation be grievous I am sure it is safe For He chastiseth me for my profit that I may be partaker of his holiness Blessed be that sorrow which allureth me from sin blessed be that misery that inviteth me to mercy 〈◊〉 kiss it I embrace it and with humbleness of heart I joyfully and patiently submit unto it The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh blessed be the name of the Lord Iob 1.21 I humbly confess Lord that my great and grievous sins have most justly deserved this great and grievous affliction that thou mightest long since have deprived me of my life for depriving thee of thine honour that I am most unworthy of this thy gentle visitation for I am full of rottenness and corruption and therefore can expect no other but to be fill'd with sorrow and affliction thou hast given me a body for thy service but I have defiled it with sin and wickedness thou gavest me a soul enriched with thy heavenly graces but I have defaced it with unthankfulness and disobedience no faculty of my soul no member of my body but are most impure and sinfull in thy sight Thou O Lord knowest all my foolishness and my faults are not hid from thee thou seest how vainly I have mis-spent my pretious time how carelesly abused that continued health which thou hast given me how seriously been busied on the Creature how wretchedly neglected thee the great Creatour Thou hast often weaned me from sin by thy blessed motions by thy gratious admonitions by thy gentle visitations by a wasted body and a wounded soul and yet I still sin without ceasing without sorrowing without repenting such are my faults so grievovs mine offences that I now blush to name those sins before thee by which I have so often and so foolishly rebell'd against thee and now after all this allthough thou hast with lasting patience waited my return and art inforced to withdraw thy present mercy yet thou art moved to behold my present misery evâ—n in thy very wrath thou hast compassion on me Habac. 3.2 while thou seemest by this present sickness to withhold thy favour from me thou gratiously intendest by this blessed means to shew thy self more lovingly unto me for I know Lord that thy judgements are just and that thou of very faithfulnesshast caused me to be troubled Psal 119.75 Theresore Though thou killest me yet will I trust in thee Iob 13.15 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death yet will I fear no evill Psal 23.4 Behold Lord I am willingly and joyfully and thankfully in thy hands doe with me what thou wilt if I live I shall praise thee if I dye I trust I shall goe home unto thee and be for ever blessed with thee O thou Father of mercies and God of all consolations behold me thy sick servant with thine eye of pity and compassion O remember not my former sins but have mercy upon me O Lord and that soon for I am come unto great extremity O Lord my God I am troubled I am bowed down greatly I goe mourning all the day long thou writest bitter things against me and makest me possess the iniquities of my youth O let the sweetness of thy mercy qualifie the sharpness of thy Fatherly correction consider me O Lord that I am but dust full of frailties and infirmities forgive me for thy mercy sake Remember not the sinfull failings of my youth but according to the richness of thy goodness be thou mindfull of me O righteous Father look not on the multitude and hainousness of mine offences but look upon the bitter passion of thy blessed Son he was wounded for my transgressions he was broken for mine iniquities O by his blessed stripes let my sinfull soul be healed Enable me to suffer this thy gentle visitation with that meekness and contentedness of soul that becometh thy child and so bless it unto me that it may bring forth in me the quiet and the happy fruits of righteousness that it may drive my thoughts to immortality and fix my soul upon eternity Blessed Lord my hope is in thee my soul trusteth in thee and under the shadow of thy wings shall be my refuge untill this misery be overpast O Lord consider my complaint for I am brought very low Let my present anguish more prevail with thee to move thee to compassion than my former foolishness to stir thy wrath and indignation O enter not into judgement with thy servant for no flesh is righteous in thy sight Lord I confess my wickedness and am sorry for my sin for thy Names sake O Lord be mercifull unto my sin for it is great my confusion is daily before me and the shame of my face hath covered me my heart is disquieted within me and the fear of death is fallen upon me Lord I am thine O save me for thy mercy sake into thy hands I commend my self for thou hast redeemed me O Lord thou God of Truth Forsake me not O Lord my God be not thou far from me hast thee to help me O Lord God of my salvation O spare me for thy mercy sake that I may recover my strength before I goe hence and be no more seen Amen CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessedness of Death I am a Pilgrim and a Stranger here as all my Fathers were I am wearied out with travell and long to be at rest I am lodged here but with great cost and greater danger this seeming sweetnesse hath cost me much true sorrow many bitter sighs and aking hearts disturbance of body distraction of soul I have sought for help here below but can find none no creature on earth to relieve me none to support me I have seen pleasure to be folly and laughter madness men of low degree to be vanity of high degree a lye their understanding vain their labours vain
depraved nature this sin had doubtless been a sad memoriall to my grave such is the power of sin once grown habituall O let my sorrowfull confession be the readers usefull instruction that thou mayst have the glory I the shame of my mis-doing Lord I have often sinned against thee by my wretched violation of the truth in envious detractions from the good of my neighbour vain-glorious aggravations of mine own abilities censorious taxations of my brethrens infirmities indulgent diminutions of mine own iniquities I have often grieved thy good Spirit by which thou hast sealed me up unto the day of redemption by my vain and idle communications by my rash and sinfull exprobations by my weak and froward objurgations to the great dishonour of thee my God to the cominuall grief of thy Saints to the sad disturbance of my self All this to my hearts grief have I often done and by all this I may now plainly see how much I have hitherto been the servant of sin and Satan how great an enemy to thy glory and to the good of mine own soul But now Lord by thine assistance my speciall care shall henceforth be to allow my self no liberty of speech but what is aiming at Eternity if my heart be heavenly my words will be gratious my actions holy mine end happy and that all this may be so indeed by thy grace Lord I will observe with carefulness and constancy these following cautions 1. Before I speak I will consider that I am in thy blessed presence that what is once â—pâ—kâ—n can never be recalled but is recorded for eterternity 2. That each idle word must be accounted for and that my whole life hitherto hath been little else but vain and empty discourse tending much to thy dishonor the hurt of my neighbour and without mercy in Christ the destruction of my own soul 3. That there is no truer testimony of a graceless heart than a licentious tongue that if I be not holy in my discourse I can never be happy in mine actions 4. That it is impossible for those prayers to be pleasing to God which are offered up with that sinfull member that is so shamefully defiled with evill and corrupt communications amongst men 5. That if I make a mock at Christianity by having onely a form of godliness in mine outward actions but denying the power thereof in my usuall conversation God will one day pay me home by shewing me the richness of his sufferings but denying me the benefits thereof and the sweet enjoyments thereby 6. That without helinesse no man shall see the Lord and that such as is my common and most accustomed discourse in my life I may well fear will be my last and most uncomfortable expressions at my death 7. Unto all this I will adde the shortnesse misery and uncertainty of a sinfull life the horrour and amazement of a wretched death the extremity and eternity of torments after death Lord when my heart is thus guarded by thy grace my lips I trust will be ever open to thy praise Blessed God If thy holy Angell durst not give railing accusations against the devill if thy Sainss in patience possesse their own soules and their speeches he seasoned with salt administring grace to the hearts of the hearers if thou the blessed Saviour of the world when thou wert reviled reviledst not again but as a lamb before the shearers so openedst thou not thy mouth with what comfort can I now appear before thee with what confidence expect a blessing from thee With grief and sorrow I confesse that my heart hath ever been full of corruption and naughtinesse my mouth full of cursing and bitternesse my daily discourse full of folly and uncleannesse the whole course of my life full of misery and wickednesse O that my head were water and mine eyes a fountain of tears that I might weep day and night that I might mourn continually for mine own and others sins Lord purifie my heart and rectifie my tongue that both may be accepted of thee and now and ever graciously directed by thee Lord I acknowledge my faults and my sin is ever before me O let the sorrowfull remembrance of my sins invite thee to a sweet remembrance of thy mercies that thou mayest have the praise and I the comfort of thy gracious pardon Lord let my heart be inflamed with thy love and my mouth filled with thy praise that I may sacrifile my oul unto thee that I may sanctifie my soul before thee by devout thoughts by gracious words and godly actions that so I may with joyfulnesse and thankfulnesse appear in thy fight not onely all the day long but even all my life long that thou my God mayst be glorified thy Saints delighted and my sinfnll foul eternally comforted Amen CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and encouragements thereunto Lord I Have ever been too apt to revenge the smallest injuries offered unto me by others in relation to mine outward condition and too remiss in that holy revenge of those great and insufferable wrongs which I daily and hourly obtrude upon mine own soul this plainly sheweth me to have been too much savouring of flesh and blood too little mindfull of thy kingdom and the righteousness thereof That soul which is truly sensible of its own injury will by thy grace be dayly minding of its own redresle and that sinner which is uncapable of slight offences will in time become insensible of greater My greatest enemies are those of mine own houshold The world may allure me the devill perswade me but it is mine own false heart alone that betrayes me and mine own corrupt nature that enslaves me my greatest care shall therefore be to bend my strongest force against mine own corruptions to labour much to subdue mine affections and to take an holy revenge upon my sinfull actions not to satisfie thy justice but to implore thy mercie that I may thereby truly manifest my perfect hatred against sin and the sincerity of my soul to thy service There need none other motives to invite me to this holy duty than the wofull breaches sin hath daily made in my soul such as without mercy will never be repaired this is too sadly proved by the sensible decay of goodnesse and the too powerfull growth of ungodlinesse in my corrupt heart as it is easie for that Castle to stand a close siege that is well fortified man'd and victualled so is it impossible for that Fort to hold out long which maketh no resistance Lord as mine own spirituall ruins have hitherto been caused by mine own neglects so by thy gratious assistance mine own repairs shall be begun and finished by my present desires and future endeavours That time which I have lost by former carelesnesse and coldnesse in Religion I will endeavour to redeem by holy vigilance and Christian fortitude and that I may sincerely be what I intend with willingness of heart I offer up this solemn Vow unto
temptation if the World frown upon them they can chearfully say and faithfully believe that A small thing which the righteous hath is better than great riches of the ungodly Psal 37.16 if it smile that They then account all things but loss and dung in compare of Christ Jesus if outward blessings be present they are humble under them and thankfull for them if absent They can patiently tarry for the Lord for they know he is their help Psal 33.14 and that No good thing will he withhold from them that love him Psal 34.10 if sickness seize upon them The Lord is about their bed and about their path and spieth out all their waies their waies of sin and their waies of sorrow yea He maketh their beds in their sickness by ease to their bodies comfort to their souls if famine threaten them they have God's promise to maintain them For the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him and upon all those that put their trust in his mercy To deliver their souls from dearth and to feed them in the time of security Psal 33.17 18. if sudden danger approach them they have heavenly succour to defend them for The Angell of the Lord tarrieth about all them that fear him to deliver them yea even Death it self is an advantage to them and therefore no waies able to affright them for Pretious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints and therefore Though the Lord kill them yet will they trust in him Iob 13.15 Lord if thy mercy be thus great unto me while I am yet in my sinfull flesh how unspeakable shall I find thy love when my body is become spirituall my joy eternall From these outward enjoyments may well be derived their inward contentments but by their inward refreshments is enjoyed that incomparable inconceivable unutterable sweetness that blessed peace of God and joy in the holy Ghost which passeth all our understanding God's holy Spirit witnessing with their spirits that they are his children and most pretious in his sight and they are now fully perswaded with his blessed Apostle that Neither Death nor Life nor Angels nor Principalities nor Powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other Creature shall be ever able to separate them from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Rom. 8. 37 38. How full of solid comfort is this blessed assurance how are our souls ravished with apprehension of the sweetness of our present comforts of the fulness of our future joyes these blessed earnests of that ever blessed Spirit are the faithfull pledges of his future embraces far above the reach of Malice to disturb or Devill to destroy Hence it is that our faith is pretious our hope lively our joy glorious our lives safe our deaths blessed and from hence arise those many and those rich endowments of the Saints their zeal burning their love wonderfull their desires earnest their longings insatiate their petitions for enjoyings importunate Lord what can I desire more of thee than what I enjoy from thee I have thy mercy without me and thy mercy within me thy mercy in life and thy mercy in death thy mercy from the beginning thy mercy to the end and thy mercy without end I am even crowned and encompassed with mercy O let me now say with holy David I will allwaies give thanks unto the Lord and his praise shall be ever in my mouth Psal 34.1 Let me not onely praise thee my self but with him allso invite others to praise thee O praise the Lord with me all ye his Saints and let us magnifie his name together Psal 34.3 O tast and see how gratious the Lord is blessed is that man which putteth his trust in him Be glad O yee righteous and rejoyce in the Lord and be joyfull all yee that are true of heart Psal 32.12 And now Lord having had a tast of the sweetness of thy Saints happiness on earth I willingly forsake all to follow them I have too long been straying in the strange pastures of impiety and am now joyfully desirous to be led home to thy fold that I may feed in the green and fresh pastures of thy sacred precepts and drink freely of those waters of comfort in thy blessed promises that I may so drinle that I may never thirst but be fully satisfied with thy grace in this life with thy glory in that to come O let this evill world neither allure me to its vanities nor betray me from thy mercies but as thou hast overcome the world for me so by thy grace assisting it may be allso overcome by me Thou hast indeed told me that I shall mourn in it but my mourning shall be turned into joy and that my joy shall no man take from me Lord I believe help my unbeliefe I embrace thy cross I despise the shame for that glory which is set before me of which I have a safe assurance by the blessed earnest of thy holy Spirit in me To thee O Father Son and holy Spirit one eternall infinite incomprehensible and ever blessed Goodness be all possible praise honour and glory now and for ever Amen O thou great God who hast tender bowels of compassions and multitudes of mercies for us miserable sinners who art not easy to be provoked but ever ready to forgive who sufferest not thy whole displeasure to arise against us but even in thy very judgements remembrest mercy and art then moved with the sight of our misery have mercy upon me a great and grievous finner Lord I have sinned I have transgressed I have done foolishly in departing from thy judgements But righteousness belongeth unto thee O Lord and unto me shame and confusion of face O let thy bowels of compassions remove out thy sight my multitudes of transgressions that I may now appear before thee with a joyfull heart and happy soul Let thy words be sweeter to me than the hony and the hony comb than the vain pleasures and false profits of this life O let my chiefest joy be in thy service my greatest delight to walk in thy waies and all false waies of pollution and uncleanness let me utterly abhorr Give me that inward peace that quietness of conscience which the world cannot take from me that when I am afflicted by it I may not be condemned with it Lord let me faithfully believe and gratiously improve the constancy of thy love in the worlds great unconstancy the richness of thy mercy in this wretched ages misery O that my eye might drop without ceasing that my heart might break forth into complaints and my soul be melted into sorrows for mine own and others sins that have occasioned these heavy judgements these sad complainings of thy people Lord as I have been a great and grievous sinner amongst them so let me be a constant and a true mourner for them as thou hast beheld us sinning so now allso behold us sorrowing
frailties commiserate his infirmities forgive his iniquities Lord purge him by thy pretious blood cloath him with thine own righteousnesse inrich him with thy blessed merits and plead them to thy Father for him O thou holy and for ever blessed Spirit who art the pure fountain of eternall love be present with him relieve and comfort him in all these bitter pangs of his last hour indue him with a willingnesse and cheerfulnesse to leave this transitory life and crown him with eternity of joyes in that to come And now O Lord we come unto thee for our selves who are here at this time upon our sinfull knees before thee Lord open our eyes that we may seriously consider of that last and solemn hour of our departure Lord sanctifie our hearts that while we are encompassed with sinfull flesh we may lament our often failings and infirmities and every day be more and more desirous to goe home to thee who art the God of spirits Lord give us grace that we may walk soberly and righteously and holily as becometh thy children that at the resurrection of the just our soules and bodies may enjoy the blessed consummation of their endlesse happinesse Lord hear our prayers and let our cries come unto thee for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy blessed Sons sake Amen The Conclusion BLessed Lord God by whose onely mercy I have finished this imperfect Work as I began it by thy goodnesse so I desire to end it with thy praise Lord accept of it and graciously afford thy blessing to it Let not the weaknesse and the sinfulnesse of me the Instrument be the Readers discouragement but give glory and honour to thee the Agent for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be praise for ever Amen SOLI DEO GLORIA For the comfort and assistance of those that are ready to depart this life I have hereunto added the dying Confession of Mr. Anthâ—ny Sadler Minister of Gods Word at West-Thorock in Essex of which I was an Ear-witness Obiit vicesimo die Maii Anno 1643. THE Lord hath laid a gratious and a gentle visitation on me I doe acknowledge with a thankfull heart that this weakness of body this languishing of nature these painfull daies and nights are from him For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Job 5.6 Ah my friends little doe men think how much the great disturbances of sickness how much he pains and infirm ties of a dec ying body distract those blessed thoughts those sweet and happy meditations which the troubled soul desires The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak Lord Jesus strengthen the inward man and lay no more upon this sinfull bâ—dy than thou in mercy shalt enable it to bear I am now verily perswaded that God hath purposed to determine my daies his blessed will be done even so Lord Jesus come quickly He that looketh into his life past that ransaketh his soul and calleth to minde the sinfull failings of his youth will finde it very hard and difficult to make his calling and election sure I have earnestly desired to leave no corner of my soul unsearcht and I finde my self to be a very great and wretched sinner I have committed grievous sinnes very grievous sinnes such sinnes as are not fit to be named before God's Saints I have examined my soul by each particular Commandment and I finde my self guilty of the breach of all and that in an high manner especially considering that weighty Function God's providence hath called me unto I have not onely sinned against mine own soul but against the soules of others too whom I have corrupted by my ill example and that very often And now when I look upon the glasse of the Law and there see mine owne vildnesse I finde Gods justice and mine own deserts even ready to surprise and cast me down into the nethermost hell and that most righteously But O see the goodnesse of a gratious God! I now come to lay hold upon the promises but how not without repentance not presumingly I apply them not in a generall but particular way I doe not onely believe that Christ Jesus came iâ— to the World to save sinners but I believe allso that he died for my sinnes and rose again for my justification God hath promised and all his promises are Yea and Amen that he will not forsake those which trust in him nay he hath bound himself unto it by an oath by two immutable things which cannot fail his Truth and his Holinesse Heb. 6.18 and God hath said That he which confesseth and forsaketh his sinnes shall finde mercy 1 Joh. 1.9 I acknowledge them I confesse them I am grieved for them I forsake them I abhorre themwhat should I doe more God requireth not more of me These pauses were supplied with tears and yet for all this I cannot find my self assured of his favour methinkes this sorrow is not so hearty as it ought to be and yet I know and stedfastly believe that if God did not work with me this sorrow could not be and where he worketh there can be nothing wanting I know that the most righteous man alive cannot perform this work so perfectly as he ought and therefore I believe that he which is ascended up on high hath done it for me in that full and ample manner which is able to appease his Father's wrath and I now trust that by his perfect obedience this imperfect worke of mine shall find a gratious acceptation This is my hope and this my beliefe Nay I can goe yet a little further to strengthen my assurance that my peace is made with God I every day and every houre doe pray unto my Saviour to intercede his Father for me and if I implore him he will intercede his Father and if he intercede his Father he cannot be denied O my God impute my sinnes to him transferre his righteousnesse to me and then I know I shall appear a glorious soul before thee Amen FINIS THE CONTENTS CHAP. 1. UPon the sinfulnesse of our thoughts touching the sacred Deity with holy cautions to order our devotions aright pag. 2. CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of God's love and man's unthankfulnesse A Meditation suited to the morning pag. 9 CHAP. 3. Upon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for noon pag. 14 CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulnesse shortnesse and uncertainâ—y of life A Meditation suited to the evening pag. 17 CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto God's House with necessary cautions for our behaviour there pag. 20 CHAP. 6. Upon our returning from God's House and the neglect of private duties pag. 24 CHAP. 7. Upon the want of due preparation for Receiving of the Lord's Supper pag. 27 CHAP. 8. Containing pious Ejaculations at the time of Receiving pag. 30 CHAP. 9. Containing a brief Meditation and pious Thanksgiving after our Receiving pag. 31 CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto pag. 32 CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey pag. 34 CHAP. 12. Upon the great danger of Security pag. 37 CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Prosumption pag. 41 CHAP. 14. Upon quenching of the motions of God's holy Spirit pag. 47 CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of God's peculiar Providence to his Children pag. 51 CHAP. 16. Upon sinfull Anger and the great disturbance thereof pag. 55 CHAP. 17. Upon Man's inordinate love to the Creature pag. 58 CHAP. 18. Upon the sin of Uncleaness with Incouragements to avoid it pag. 63 CHAP. 19. Upon immoderate Mirth and the great Inconveniencies thereof pag. 67 CHAP. 20. Upon the great danger of deferring the hour of Repentance pag. 75 CHAP. 21. Upon Servile Fear and the danger thereof pag. 79 CHAP. 22. Upon the great neglect of reckoning daily with our Thoughts and the benefits lost thereby pag. 84 CHAP. 23. Upon Unchristian-like Dulnesse in Affliction pag. 87 CHAP. 24. Upon uncheerfulnesse in Christianitie with Incouragements to avoyd it pag. 91 CHAP. 25. Upon mans sinfull frailty in the hour of Temptation with Motives to make resistance pag. 94 CHAP. 26. Upon the Infirmitie of the Saints pag. 97 CHAP. 27. Upon Desertion pag. 101 CHAP. 28. Upon sudden danger pag. 106 CHAP. 29. Upon the weaknesse of Faith and sinfulnesse of Thoughts tending to Despair pag. 107 CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer pag. 111 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures pag. 114 CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation pag. 117 CHAP. 33. Upon Unchristian-like Dejectedness in Poverty pag. 119 CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat pag. 122 CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessednesse of Death pag. 126 CHAP. 36. Upon the great neglect of opportunities in doing good to the Saints pag. 131 CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulnesse of the heart in the performance of holy duties pag. 135 CHAP. 38. Upon the unrulinesse of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it pag. 140 CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and incouragements thereunto pag. 144 CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of the Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godlinesse pag. 147 A comfortable Prayer to be used at the point of Death by the Visitors of the Sick pag. 157 FINIS