our departure doth not part friends now but makes them cleave the closer untill they depart Let us be willing they should die and that will not abate of our love for we cannot be willing untill we have loved them as much as we can We shall be loth they should go without the best testimonies of our love and that will make us only improve our time to have the benefit of them and they of us Seneca tells in one of his Letters Epist 63. that he who gave a great deal of good counsell to others not to grieve was himself almost made an example of one overcome with grief But the truth of it is saith he there was no other cause of that mourning which I must now condemn but only this I did not use to think that my friend might die before me I only had in my mind that he was younger much younger than my self whereas I ought to have added What is this to the purpose Though he ought I imagine to die after me yet he may die before me Because I did not thus meditate I received a stroak when I was unarmed which went to my heart But now I think both that all things are mortall and that there is no certain order of mortality That which may be at all may be to day And if you think that your friend may die to day then why do you not begin to mourn since his death is at hand unless you mean to take it patiently when it comes If you will lament the death of your friends so sadly why do you not prepare your lamentations seeing death may be so near If you think it is not so near then it is likely your sorrow will be violent when it comes because sudden If you think it is and yet do not mourn then why should you lament that so sadly at night which you did not weep for at all at noon There were some creatures they say in Pontus Plutarch whose life lasted but one day They were born in the morning and came to their full growth at noon and grew old in the evening and at night dyed If these animals had been masters of the reason that we have would they have lamented after our fashion would they have mourned for one that chanced to dye at noon when as it could not live longer than night No that which is necessary it is no great matter when it comes And because we are of a longer life our trouble at death is not to be the greater but the less For it is a greater wonder that we did not die many daies agone than that we die to day The kind of death is not so considerable as death it self But some will say that it is not death it self but the kind of death that so troubles them They could have been contented if he had gone out of the world another way But I beseech you do you know what will please your selves Can you tell what sort of death it is that would content you are there any that do not blame their hard fortune and wail and mourn as if none were so miserable are not men equally troubled if one die of a Feavour and another of a Consumption if their love be equal It is very plain that he that perswades himself to part with his friends will not grieve for the manner of the parting He that can overcome himself in the greater cause of grief will not suffer the less so easily to overcome him And therefore you see that men have alwaies something to find fault withall If a friend die in a far Countrey then they say Alas that we should not see him before he dyed how sad is it that we should not take our leave If he die at home then they say who could endure to hear his groans how sad was it to see him in the agonies of death If he die and speak nothing then they say O if he might but have told us his mind if he had left us any remembrances it would have been some comfort If he did speak then they tell his speeches to every one and say O my sweet child or friend I shall never forget thy words Would you have me put out of my mind his dying speeches and so those sayings are a perpetuall nourishment and food to their grief If he die on a sudden then they lament because he was snatched rather than went away If he die of a lingring sickness then they say he was nothing but skin and bone a meer Anatomy never any creature endured so much as he did And so they complain they know not for what for they would not have had him gone away so soon but spun out his life till he lookt more ruefully And indeed men never want some pretences for these complaints but the true reason is that they would not have had their Friends to die at all In what glass soever this potion had been presented they would have swallowed it with the same disgust And I must confess it is very bitter yet we should not study to make it worse than it is but by digesting such considerations as these receive it with a better countenance and take it down more easily For which end let us proceed further and weigh what follows SECT V. Which contains comforts against the loss of Children Parents Consorts Friends upon a due consideration what every one of them is We must consider who the persons are that die LEt us consider well who it is for whom we make our lamentations Who is it I say that death hath taken away from us Perhaps it is an Infant a poor little weakling newly crept into the light And this hath the least of wonder in it of all other things that such a little spark of life should be blown out Comforts against the loss of children A greater wonder it is that it was not strangled in the gate of the womb A little while ago it had no life and it is now but as it then was We were once content without it why cannot we be content without it now It never loved us nor was capable to shew any affection to us and therefore we may the better part with it It was scarce tyed to our heart and therefore it need not make the strings crack It was not unwilling to go out of the world and if it had lived longer death would have been more against its will It hath lost no great matter for it knew not the benefits of life It hath cost us nothing or we have been but at a small charge about it and therefore our loss is not so great neither as we make it If it could have known the miseries of living and it had been put to its choise very likely it would not have chosen to live but to be what now it is It hath not blotted its soul by any sin nor deflowred the Virgin purity wherein it was born
apt to grieve And besides what a folly is it thus to die with continual grief for him who if he did grieve to die his grief continued but a little while He died but once why should we die alwaies It is certain we must die but of all deaths let us not die with grief and much less for grief about that which we see we cannot avoid our selves But let us be furthest of all from making our life a perpetual death and grieving for that which by grief we may so soon run our selves into Weep no more for thy friend than thou wouldst have had him weep for thee IX Ask thy self again Whether two friends do not think that one of them must die first Do we not see that in the common course of things one man goes before another to his grave Who then if it had been permitted to thy choice wouldst thou have appointed to be the leader unto the other Wouldst thou have given thy self the preheminence and resolved to have shewn him the way Then death it seems is a good thing for if it were evil we can scarce believe thy self-love is so little as to wish it might be thy portion before another And if it be good then thou maiest soon satisfie the pretence of loving them better than thy self by being glad that they enjoy it before thy self Or wouldst thou have had both gone together and been enclosed in the same Coffin and interred in the same grave Then it seems it is no such great matter to die as thou makest it seeing thou art so willing to die also And if it be no great matter for thee to live then no more was it unto him If the sorrow of living without him be greater than the sorrow of dying with him why then was not he desirous that thou shouldst die And why did he pray for thy life and health when he died And if he would not have thee to die also when he died why dost thou then live in a kind of death and enjoyest not thy self nor the pleasures of life Either resolve to die also or else to live as a man should do If his death be so sad thou wilt not be able to bear thy own X. Ask thy self How can I take my own death Certain it is that thou must die also but if thou canst not part with a friend how canst thou part with thy self How wilt thou endure that soul and body should be separated if thou canst not shake hands with another body distinct from thine Are not they the most ancient friends Is not their union most strict and close Can two men cleave so together as thy soul embraces its companion What then wilt thou do when their bonds shall be untied if thou canst not bear the rupture of lessr cords of love What wilt thou think when thy soul sits on thy lips and give thy body a farewell kiss if thou canst not close the eyes of thy friend without so many tears Will thy soul mourn after thy body is dead as thou dost now lament the death of thy friend Will it groan and sigh to think of the hole where its flesh lies Will it sight to think that its old companion is then become the companion of worms If not then let it not groan so heavily for a less matter that is now befaln it If it will then why art thou troubled for thy friend and not for thy own self to think how sad thou must one day be The fear of thy own death must more than equall thy sorrow for the death of another man And how canst thou have time to think of any thing else if thou dost fear it Or if thou dost not fear it how canst thou fall under thy sorrow who hast overcome so great a sear Dost thou intend to go crying out of the World If not then be not now dismayed at that which thou must bear so valiantly thy self Then do not mourn so much for the loss of anothers life which will but put self-love into a most piteous case when thou comest to yield up thy own Death is no strange thing as I have said for we must all die But then why should we mourn so much if it be such an usuall thing If we mourn excessively it is a sign we think not of the commonness of it and then how shall we take our own death seeing it is such a stranger to our thoughts Let us but comfort our selves upon solid grounds against our own departure and I will warrant you that shall cure all our other lamentations Let us but dare to die our selves and we shall not dare to cry so much for any mans death Isidore of Pelusium thinks that our Saviour Lib. 23 Epist 173. did not mourn for his friend Lazarus because he was dead for he knew that he was going to raise him from the dead but because he was to live again And to come from the haven where he was arrived back again into the waves and storms from the crown which he enjoyed to a new encounter with his enemies If thou dost not believe his interpretation yet dost thou believe the thing Dost thou seriously consider that the misery of this world is so great that we should rather weep that we are in it than that others are gone out of it Then I ask thee again whether when thou art dead and well thou wouldst willingly live again If not then thou knowest what to say to thy self concernning thy friends death If thou wouldst then it seems thou canst be contented with this grief and I will not go about to comfort thee seeing thou lovest life with all the miseries thou createst to thy self But the very truth is we are so sensible of our bodies and have so little feeling of our souls or divine things that it is ready to make us think we are not when our bodies are dead This makes death such a terrible thing this makes both our own and others death so heavy because it seems as if there were an extinction of us That which we feel not nor have any sense of within us is as if it was not And therefore if we feel not heavenly things and perceive not that we have a soul we shall receive death as if it was the loss of our selves and then who can but be sad Let us live therefore in a sense of such things as may make us die willingly and think that we our selves are not lost and then we shall not think that we have lost our good friends nor lay their death so much to heart Nor wilt thou be able to help others to bear their sorrows XI Ask thy self likewise How wilt thou be able to comfort others if thou canst not comfort thy self It should seem by thy tears that thou art very ambitious of the name of a friend but if thou be not able to comfort thy friend what is he the better for thee And
returned to him again Did he ever promise you how long you should have it may he not call for his own when he thinks good do not other men pay this debt to nature as well as you Seeing then it is both a common and a necessary debt do not repine as if you did only pay it He is an unworthy debtor that returns what is lent with a reproach to his creditor And therefore give it up chearfully perhaps he may intrust you with something better While David saw that his child was alive 2 Sam. 12. he earnestly besought of God that it might not die but when once it had given up the ghost he anoints his head and puts on other garments because he knew God was not bound to work a miracle though he might be inclined to shew mercy While there was life there was some hope of mercy but when it was dead there was no hope of a miracle And yet there is one thing that may be pertinently observed in that story of David which exceedingly argues our folly Though God had said by a Prophet that his child should die yet he earnestly beg'd that it might live Men are not so earnest for that which they may be assured God will do if it concern their souls as they are for that which they have all reason to fear he will not do if it concern their bodies Men would have him recall his word and alter his decrees in temporall matters but they little mind the obtaining of his promises and the fulfilling of his Word in spiritual concernments They would have life as long as they please which they know he will not bestow but they seek not for contentment which they may be assured he hath a mind to give They would have him willing to let them enjoy their friends alwaies which cannot be but they seek not to him that they may be willing to part with them though they must part with them and he would make them willing Death is not only necessary but good For shame let us not continue in this kind of folly to be angry at things necessary which we cannot avoid and to neglect those necessaries which we cannot want And since death is such a common thing and so easie to be met with that every thing in the world may bring it to us let us further consider that it cannot be very hurtfull in it self for all such things are more unusuall and rare God is not so unkind unto the world as to let the most noxious and poysonous things grow every where in the greatest plenty Things of that nature are but thinly scattered through the world they lye hid and dare not commonly appear Since death therefore is in every thing since it lurks not for us like a Serpent in the grass but the smallest thing in this world may strike us with it let us verily perswade our selves that there is no such great harm in it as we imagine especially considering that there is another life I am sure that some as wise as we that mourn so much have thought that death was the best thing that befalls the sons of men And if we do not think so it is because we think not of death it self It is a common story which Pindar was first Author of how that Agamedes and Trophonius Plutarch ad Apollon having built the Temple of Apollo asked a reward of that God for their service He promised that after seven daies he would pay them well for their pains at the end of which they both died in the midst of a sleep This the world believed was a lesson to them that God could do men no greater favour than to take them out of the miseries of life Not long after this Pindar himself exemplified the same truth that he had taught For when by the Embassadours of Boeotia he askt the Oracle What was the very best thing that could befall men The answer was that Pindar knew well enough V. etiam Suidam in voc 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 if he did not lie when he wrote the story of Agamedes but if he doubted he should shortly know what it was This he intrepreted to signifie his death which within a few daies after hapned But perhaps we are not of this mind and I need not go to an Oracle to know the reason which is plainly this We are acquainted with no other life but this If the world had not so much of our hearts we should not find any fault with the necessity of death because it would become desirable We should not then be so sorry for our friends departure as for our own stay We should be glad that neither they nor we were necessitated to dwell there alwaies where there are so many troubles that he is happiest who is soonest freed from them But there were many that thought not much of the goodness of death who yet were comforted with the bare thoughts of necessity How many Heathens might I tell you of who fled to this one truth for refuge and found protection under it against the assaults of sorrow Nothing is hapned to me but what hapneth to all The first minute that we began to live we began to die This is not the first but the last moment of death It is now finished but it was born when we were born When one came and told Anaxagoras in the midst of a lecture that his child was dead Hold thy peace said he I knew that I begat a son that was mortall and so proceeded in his Discourse without any accents of grief or a mournful tone And so another said to his friend when he saw him weeping for his wife I thought you had known that you married a woman and not a goddess Do but remember then what the thing is that thou lovest and thou must be willing either to leave or not to love it As they used to stand behind them that triumphed and to admonish them You are but mortall men so let us say to our selves when Love is in its greatest flames 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Arrian l. 3. cap. 24. I love a dying person What hurt is there while we embrace and kiss a child to say 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to morrow it may dye and so to discourse with our friends To morrow either you or I may go away To think of their death doth not make our lives uncomfortable and never thus embrace any more Doth it make our love the less doth it make us avoid their presence No therefore we are so greedy of our friends society because we know not how long we may enjoy them It makes love more fervently desirous to have all of them now because it knows that it may have none of them ere it be long It teaches us to use their friendship to the best advantages we can because we are not like to have the use of it as long as we please The knowledge of
he had lived wickedly in his future course then he could not have been safe And besides their badness suppose our children should have died of some infamous and base death this would have troubled us more than death it self Yea some there have been that have sought their Parents death and what a trouble would this have been Some have slain their fathers and others their mothers and who was there left to mourn then If you be affrighted at these strange supposals which sometimes have had a reall truth yet consider once more that if they had not been bad notwithstanding who knows what miseries they might have endured worse than death Can you tell what misfortunes might have befaln them which might have made them wish they had died sooner They are now dead perhaps they have that which afterward they might have desired and not so easily obtained For how many and frequent occasions are there of sorrow here To find a life without Crosses we must seek among them that last but from morn to night And so great are the troubles and anguish which some endure that their life is nothing else but a long continued death Which made one of the Gymnosophists answer Alexander when he askt whether death or life was stronger Life sure for that bears the most evils And suppose he that is dead should not have been miserable yet now he is gone if he might rise again it is likely he would not lest he should know again the fear and the pains of dying He is freed from the vanity and vexation of life and from the terrours and agonies of death He hath left the evils of this world as well as the goods and is out of a capacity of suffering as well as of enjoying any thing here This is one of the comforts I remember which that great Divine Greg. Nazianz. gives his Parents against the loss of his dear Brother Caesarius * Orat. 10. p. 172. edit Paris We are sad to think saith he that Caesarius shall rule and govern no more but let us consider withall that none shall hereafter domineer or tyrannize over him None shall fear or stand in awe of him more but he shall not fear neither the insolencies of a grievous Master who is not worthy perhaps to be a servant He shall heap up no more riches No nor shall he be envyed by others or tormented by his own desires of increasing wealth Hippocrates Galen and all the rest he shall expound no more but he shall not labour under diseases neither no nor bear the burden of other mens miseries He shall demonstrate Euclid Ptolomy and Hero no more but he shall not be vexed neither with the proud Ignorance of empty people Plato and Aristotle and Pyrrho and all their fellows can do him no more credit nor shall he cast in his mind how to dissolve their little subtilties What shall I remember more Those high priz'd things which are so greedily sought by all wife and children he shall have none nor shall he mourn for them or be lamented by them either by leaving them to others or being left himself a monument of calamity All this is true may some say my child is free from all the dangers and miseries of this life but if you knew what a rare Creature it was that I have lost you would allow my continued complaints The Heir of an illustrious House the prop of his Family the Hope of his Country the child of a thousand Prayers and that in the Spring and flowr of his Age. What heart of Adamant would not sympathize with one in this condition Some letters of the Antients on this subject I 'le answer you in the words of a great Friend of the Father now mention'd who is ready to comply with your sorrows if you will be but as forward to receive his consolations I confess saith St. Basil in a letter of his to Nectarius * Epist 188. on this subject that it is impossible to be insensible of your loss There was no body but wisht when he was alive that they had such a Son and when he was dead they wept for him as if he had been their own Nay if we would complain and abandon our selves to weeping for this accident the whole time of our life is not long enough for it If all mankind would groan with us they could not make a lamentation equall to this loss no though they should make a River with their tears The Sun himself if he were sensible would shrink at such a spectacle But if we will let the gift of God which he hath put into our hearts interpose that sober reason which sets a measure to our Souls in prosperity it will suggest many things which we have seen and heard to moderate us in these sad circumstances It will tell us that this life is full of affliction and that all places abound with examples of humane calamities But above all that it is the command of God not to lament the dead in the Faith of Christ because of the hope of the Resurrection and that there are great crowns laid up for great patience If we suffer Reason to sing these things in our eares we may find some moderate end of this evil And therefore I exhort thee as a generous Combatant to fortifie thy self against the heaviness of this stroke and not lie down under the weight of sorrow Being perswaded that though the reasons of Gods dispensations are out of our reach yet we ought intirely to accept that which is ordered by one so wise and loving although it be heavy and grievous to be born For he knows how to appoint to every one what is profitable and why he hath set unequall terms to our life The cause is incomprehensible by us why some are carried away sooner and others tarry longer in this toilsome and miserable life so that we ought in all things to adore his loving kindness and not to take any thing ill at his hands Remembring the great and famous voice of Job who when he heard that his ten children were all struck dead in one moment said The Lord gave the Lord hath taken away as it pleased the Lord so it is come to pass Let us make this admirable language our own They are rewarded with an equall recompence by the just judge who perform the same worthy actions We are not robbed of a child but only have restored him to the lender nor is his life extinct but only translated to a better The earth doth not cover our beloved but Heaven hath received him let us tarry a while and we shall be in his company The distance of time is but short between the arrivall of several travellers to their Inne into which some are already turned others are entring and the rest are making great hast toward it but they shall all come to one end For though some perform the journey sooner yet all are in the same
not been to go out Considerations about the death of Parents what need would there have been of bringing us in If they were designed to stay alwaies then there had been no room for us They might more easily remember their mortality than we for there is no act that puts us more in mind of death than that whereby we give another life And it is but one of them it is likely that we have lost we may then love the other the more Or if both yet we have least reason to complain about their death of all others for both Nature and they themselves and we also would have them die before us We complain that people die when they are young and will we complain too when they die of old age Then it seems we will have none die and cannot be contented unless they live alwaies Would they have been willing to have been left childless without you If not then they have their choice to go first Or are you so well in love with death that it would have been more acceptable to you to have gone before or so much in love with them that on that account you had rather have died than they Then know that your death would as much more have troubled them than theirs doth you as the love of Parents to their children transcends the love of all children unto them It is very well then as it is It is not handsome neither to complain when we are forty or fifty years of age that our Parents are dead for they could live no longer or if they could it would have been but a kind of death If we will not cease to complain when we are of age neither shall we ever cease when we grow older For as Cardan tells us A poor woman once came to his door to beg an alms and though she were seventy years of age yet she used this argument in her complaints That she was a poor fatherless and motherless creature and had none to take any care of her We need the less of their care when we can take care of our selves But perhaps they die before we are of age and can take care of our selves Then we are least sensible of their loss or if we are so considerate as to know that we may consider also such things as these There is none fatherless that hath God for his Father and he that hath not would be little better for his earthly Parents If they were good let us follow their example and remember their Counsell if they were bad they would not have been true Parents to us and it is well perhaps that we had not such an example to follow They may live still in us if they were good if they were bad we had need live the better and spend those tears for their sins which may entail curses on us which we bestow upon them But besides it is observed by some that the most eminent persons that have been in the world did lose their Parents when they were young or else it is like they had not proved so eminent The great Caesar and his successor Augustus Alexander the Monarch of the World Cicero the famous Orator Galen the most excellent Physitian Aristotle the great Philosopher are all examples of this truth If these had enjoyed the support of their Parents to lean upon they might not have tryed their own sufficiency nor exercised their abilities or else they might have been wholly eclipsed by their lustre and done nothing to be taken notice of in the World And of Husband of Wife But my loss will some sorrowfull Creature say is greater than all this no loss than half my self is gone from me Death hath ravished an Husband out of my bosome and he the tenderest in the world A sad case I must confess but it is well since Death is so common that he hath left one half and not taken all Would he had will that passionate soul reply I cannot live in any joy now that the better part of me is dead and gone O that I had never lived to see this day or not out-liv'd it Who can think of so wide a breach and not be ready to go out at it But stay a little I beseech you did you never think of this before now Did you not take one another with this clause Till Death us do part Death and you ought to have been better acquainted before this time It sought your acquaintance long ago and would have been as familiar with you as your Husband Who spoke of parting with you when you first came together and now that you are parted hath set you free again as you were before If you like that State so well you are at liberty to seek another self If you do not like to be tyed in such a yoke Why do you mourn thus for the gaining of your freedom Or if you liked that person so well as not to be able to think of any other then you may have the glory to stand among the rare and noble examples of conjugall love and friendship who have preserved the Image of their deceased Husband or Wife so lively ingraven in their hearts that nothing could ever displace it or blot it out Alas may some of the tenderer sex say whose hearts are commonly most deeply wounded with this affliction what a pitifull glory is this and what a torment will it prove to me to have only the image of such a person ever in my sight It is not possible to keep my self from being in pain and anguish when I feel that he is torn from me Since God hath made Man and Wife not to be two but one flesh How can I take this separation otherwaies than as if my body was cut in sunder In such language I remember St. Bafill represents the complaints of a desolate Widdow And if you please hear his Answer in a letter to the Wife of Arinthaeus * Epist 186. Some part or other of which may help perhaps to compose the spirits of such persons whom I cannot but pity above all other and make them conceive some joy when they look upon the Image of what they have lost And if you meet with some things in it that have been said already do not therefore skip it over hastily For second thoughts of a good thing are better than the first and the same thing in a new dress may meet with those affections which it did not excite before There is none saith he that doth not sigh for such a man Who can be so stony hearted as not to shed a tear for him Yet let us not complain that we are deprived of him but give thanks to God who joyn'd you together that you have lived so long with him To be bereaved of an Husband is common to you with all other women But to dwell with such an one it may be questioned whether any can glory in the like happiness For
to say the truth God who made us all created this man as an example of humane nature so that all eyes were turned towards him all tongues praised him and many could not believe Arinthaeus to be dead when they heard the sad tidings of it But he hath suffered only that which shall one day befall the Heavens the Earth and the Sun it self He dyed also in his full splendor and by his happiness in this world did not forfeit that of the next Translate therefore thy mind from things present to the care of those that are to come so that thou mayst be worthy by good works to enter into the same place of rest and repose Spare thy aged Mother Spare thy young Daughter who have no other comforter left but thy self Be an example of courage to the rest of women kind and so moderate thy passions that thine heart may not fail thee nor thou maist not be swallowed up of grief And above all things look to the great reward of patience which is promised by our Lord Jesus Christ in recompence of what we do here Do not think as he adds in another Epistle to her * Epist 202. that any affliction idlely befalls the servants of God who are under his speciall care but for a proof of their sincere love to our Creator For as great labours bring the Athletae to their Crowns So are Christians by these tryalls brought to perfection if they receive with a becoming patience and all thanksgiving whatsoever is ordered by our Lord. And there is nothing I assure you but is administred by the goodness of our Master and therefore ought not to be received as grievous though for the present it hurt our weakness For though we know not the reasons by which every thing is done as good by our Master yet this we ought to perswade our selves that what hath hapned was profitable either for us because of the reward of patience or for the soul departed that it might not be farther ingaged in a world so full of wickedness These were the arguments whereby he comforted other persons as well as her as appears by his letter to the Wife of Brison * Epist 347. To whom he adds these words Let thy Children be as so many lively Pictures of him to comfort thee in his absence Let thy thoughtfulness and care about their education draw aside thy mind from these sad reflections And by a constant solicitude to please God the rest of thy life thou wilt get an excellent ease and quiet to thy afflicted thoughts For a preparation for our defence before Jesus Christ and a study to be found among those that love him will be sufficient to obliterate all our sorrow so that we shall not be swallowed up in it The same he writes to one that had lost an excellent Wife * Epist 346. A person so fit for him that they might see themselves in each other as in a glass But why should we contend with such a Law of God as is past so many Ages ago We are not the first nor the only persons that suffer on this fashion It is a common thing for all to die though to have a good wife is peculiar to few whom God blesses The truth is to grieve for a separation from a wife is one of the gifts of God For I have known many that have parted with them just as if they had thrown off a burden The rest I shall not recite because I would leave some room for a long Discourse of another great Person * St. Chrysostom upor 1 Thess Hom. 6. addressed to disconsolate Widdows the sense whereof is this I have lost saith some sad soul not only my companion but my guide my stay my shield my second self I doubt not of the Resurrection which St. Paul treates of but what shall I do in the mean time Much business I have to manage but I am become only a fit prey for every Cormorant who hath a mind to be unjust The servants who before reverenced me will now despise a silly Woman If my Husband ever obliged any body Alas It will be soon forgot now that he can do them no further kindness But if he did them any wrong they will be sure to take a severe revenge on me who am not able to resist them This is the thing that breeds me all my anguish set this aside and his death would not give me such a torment What shall we answer saith St. Chrysostome unto this Truly I could easily demonstrate that not what they pretend but an unreasonable passion is the cause of words so sad and dolefull If this were the cause of their lamentation then they must never cease thus to bewail themselves But if after a yeares time all these tears are dryed up its certain the want of their defence and comfort which will then be most felt is not the only cause of them But let it be supposed that this is the fountain of all their sorrow yet consider how much infidelity there is in it that we should think it was They who took the care and patronage of us not God It cannot chuse but provoke his displeasure to see a Creature of his more beloved than himself and therefore perhaps he took away thy Husband because he was more to thee than thy God The only one of Israel is very Jealous and cannot indure to be so slighted that other things should have so much of our affections as his excellent goodness which is therefore to be beloved by us above all things because it expresses a love to us above all other Creatures What was the reason I beseech you that widdowhood and Orphanage were so rare in the old times among good people Why did Abraham and his Sarah and Isaac live till a great old age Truly I think it was because Abraham loved God more than cither of them And when God did but say to him Kill thy Son he went about it as readily as if he had been to Sacrifice a Lamb. But we are heavy and dull we are carried so headlong into the embraces of Creatures that God is fain even against our wills to draw our affections to himself by drawing them away from us Do but love God more than thy Husband and I will undertake that either thou shalt not fall into Widdowhood or shalt not feel it so great a mischief when thou fallest into it And I have a good ground for what I avouch for thou hast him for thy Husband and thy Defence that never dies and that loves thee infinitely more than any man can do And if this reason be not sufficient to convince thee I have a comparison that will do the business Tell me if thou hadst a Husband who loved thee so much as if he had no soul but thine one that was as much beloved of others as be loved thee one so wise and discreet that he was as much admired as
ought to do when we think we suffer ill Is God more unkind to us than to any of our neighbours Do not we see that many of our neighbours children are dead as well as ours Many of them have lost four or five and we have lost but one Nay many of them never had any and yet they do not therefore mourn and besmear their faces with tears and break their hearts with sighs Our case is the very same now that we have none but only that it is a little better because we had once some And how thankfull should we be that we had them so long if it be desirable to have them at all But then we may say further to our selves How many of them have lost their friends in the late Wars How many hath the sword made Widdows and the blood of how many of their children hath it drunk Ours were taken away by the hand of God but theirs were taken away by the hands of men Our friends dyed in their beds and theirs dyed in the field Ours went and theirs were driven out of the world Come let us go comfort our neighbours that have lost more than we for they stand more in need of comfort If they stand in need of none then no more do we It was very handsomely discoursed by Socrates as Plutarch relates That if we could all agree to put all the troubles and calamities of men into one heap De Consol ad Apollon on this condition that after every man had brought his and thrown them there then they should all come again and take every man an equall portion of them there would be a great many that now complain who would rather take up what they brought and go their ways contented with them And so Antimachus an Ancient Poet when his Wife dyed whom he loved exceedingly he went and writ a Poem bearing her name wherein he reckoned up all the calamities that he could remember had befaln any in the world By this means he did deter himself from grief for how can one suffer the miseries which others endure if he cannot bear this light one of his own It is better with us than with those of former times Fifthly Let us compare our selves with the Ancient Christians Their children were snatcht out of their arms by the hands of Tyrants They see their brains dasht out against the stones their friends were buried in fires or banished into strange places and they had no comforters left but God and themselves and their chiefest comfort was that they must shortly die the same death But notwithstanding all this and much more they did not take it heavily but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as Photius speaks They bare it all thankfully Epist 234. and blessed God who could tell how to govern the world beyond all the thoughts of men Let not us who suffer but common things weep with an extraordinary sorrow when they who suffered most unnaturall deaths did bear it with more than naturall courage They might have been allowed to have wept blood rather than we to shed tears And yet they rejoyced as if their friends had been offered in Sacrifice to God and we weep as if they had been put to some shamefull torments for their crimes Shall we mourn more for the death of a friend than they for a butchery What arguments had they to comfort them which we have not What Scripture had they before their eyes to stay their tears which we read not If either of us have more to comfort us than the other it is we for we have their most excellent example And when I think of the Mother of the seven Brethren mentioned in the Maccabees Mac. 2.7 she calls my thoughts back a little further than the times of Christ Did she wring her hands when she saw the skin of her son flead off from his head Did she cast any tears into the fire wherein another of them was fryed No she speaks as chearfully as if they were not stripping them of their skins but cloathing them with a royall robe She looks upon them not as if they lay upon a pan of coals but in a bridal bed She exhorted them being filled with a couragious spirit saying V. 21 22. I cannot tell how you came into my Womb for I neither gave you breath nor life neither was it I that formed the members of every one of you But doubtless the Creator of the world who formed the generation of man and found out the beginning of all things will also of his own mercy give you breath and life again as you now regard not your own selves for his sake This marvellous woman as she is called v. 20. knew very well that she did not give them life and therefore why should she take so heavily their death She considered they were none of hers and why should not the owner take them She knew that she did not lose them but only restore them That life sometimes is not worth the having That unless God will have us live no wise man would desire to live That none gives any thing unto God though it be his own but he gives them something better And therefore she said Die my sons for that 's the way to live What poorness of spirit then is it that we cannot see a soul put off her cloaths without so much ado That a Jewish woman could see seven souls torn out of their body with more courage than a Christian man can see one soul quietly depart and leave its lodging I would wish every one to save his tears till some other time when he may have some greater occasion for them If he will weep much let it be when he sees the bodies of his children or friends so mangled as theirs were But if he would not weep out his eyes then let him weep soberly and not as if he were drunk with sorrow now SECT VII Several reasons are given against immoderate sorrow which are comprised in 14. Questions which we should make to our selves The reason and spirit of them you may see in the Margin at the beginning of every particular IV. We must think with what reason we weep AFter we have taken this course with our selves we shall be the more prepared to hearken unto reason And let us proceed from making comparisons to ask our selves some Questions and stay till they give a good answer Let us know of our selves why we are so sad and heavy Let us speak to our souls and say Tell me what is the matter What is the cause of all this grief Thou art a rational creature what reason hast thou for all this sorrow Thou art not to be pityed meerly for thy tears if thou canst cry without any cause Hideous things appear sometimes before us to affright us but they are the Chimera's of a childish imagination and not things really existent Let us bid fancy then to stand aside a while
the World But he was taken away will some say before his time else I should be content I shall answer this as Photius doth who accords with Basil the great Epist 234. before mentioned 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Let me hear no such word I beseech you a word too bold to be spoken and more bold to be thought Before the time do you say Then why was he not thought to come before the time when he came out of his mothers Womb There is no reason for it but this that it was the will and pleasure of God that he should be born at such a time And must God appoint the time of his birth and we set the time of his death Did the Workman give him a being in good time and take him to himself not knowing the fittest season From a drop he made him to become a lump of flesh He formed the flesh into parts he brought him into the light and he kept him in his infancy and childhood Was any of these out of due time Why then should it be out of season when he translated him to another life Let us do therefore as David did who prayed and wept as long as he could hope the decree of God was not absolute concerning his childs death but when he saw that it was irreversible he comforted himself Let us alway say as Job doth The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and blessed be the Name of the Lord. And let this be further considered to the enforcing of this truth that if the will of the Lord must be born then it must be done And his will is that we should take all things patiently yea chearfully from his hands And therefore if we mourn immoderately what do we but only add sin unto our pain As there is a time to laugh so there is a time to weep But there is no more time to weep superfluously than there is to laugh idly and profusely Both in the one and in the other we must be wholly subject to the Will of God But that Will of God as I said is very wise in every thing and therefore he intends to turn our mourning into laughter and by every sad thing that doth befall us to make our hearts glad He alwaies gives something better than he takes away if we would but seek after it and ofttimes he takes one thing away that we may seek after the better But alas our blindness is so great that we value not that which brings us profit unless it be sweet to our taste We let our passion judge and not our reason and therefore we think there is no good in a bitter cup and no danger in a pleasant draught We lament and mourn when we ought to think our selves great gainers and we rejoyce and leap when perhaps a cross of the greatest burden hath befaln us Let us stay a while therefore and expect the end of things before we mourn too much And let us but desire to be cured rather than pleased to have our souls amended rather than our fancy humoured and we shall have great reason to thank God for every thing that comes to us And he rules it better than we could do VI. And this will lead me to another consideration concerning the Goodness of God in all that he doth Ask thy self therefore Doth not God do all things for our good Do we wish better to our selves than God doth Hath not He the greatest care of all his creatures to see that it be well with them Did he make them for any other end than that they might be happy Is there the least Sparrow as I said before that falls to the ground without our Fathers Providence Then Mankind must needs be under a greater love and none of them can die by chance but by his direction And above all other men He hath a singular care over the persons of good Christians the very hairs of whose heads are all numbred If not so much as an hair can drop off without Him much less can any body of them fall into their graves but He hath a hand in it But still He hath a more speciall Providence over such Christians as are Fatherless and Widdows helpless and destitute of all succour And therefore as it was his goodness that took their friends away so much more will his goodness take care of them whom he hath left none else to take care of He considers us not only as his children but as children placed in the midst of such and such circumstances as desolate and sad as left only to his Providence and tuition And therefore it is that the Psalmist saith Psa 10 14. Thou art the helper of the Fatherless And in another place A Father of the fatherless Psa 68.5 and a Judge of the widdow is God in his holy babitation Psa 69.23 I am poor and sorrowfull let thy salvation set me up on high Yea and all good men are full of compassion to such persons So that The blessing of those that are ready to perish come upon them Job 29 12 14. and they cause the widdows heart to sing for Joy It is an excellent saying of the Royal Philosopher Antoninus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Lib. 2. Sect. 11. worthy to be engraven upon our minds If there be a God then nothing can be hurtfull to us for he will not involve us in evil But if either there be none or he take no care of mens matters what shall I live for in a World that is without a God or without a Providence But there is a God and he cares for men also and hath put it into their power not to fall into those things which are truly evil And for the rest that befall us if any thing of them had been evil he would have provided that we should have been able not to have faln into that neither But if this great person had known also that God leaves us not alone to our own power when he sends any thing upon us but that he hath a peculiar love to his servants when they are in trouble and affords them his assistance He would have said on this sort If we be not alone without God then nothing need discomfort us for he is the God of all comfort If we be alone then we had need to be most discomforted for that and never endure in a condition without God But we are not alone and we are least alone when we are alone and have him most when we have other things least Therefore he hath put it into our power not to be troubled but to go to him for comfort in all that befalls us and if there were no comfort in him for us in such cases then they should not have befaln us Let us not therefore mourn as long as we have a God and as long as all things make us seek for our comfort in him VII Grief will
Fatigatum multis adversis oppressit me haec extrema infaelicitas being wearied before with many griefs this last unhappiness made me fall to the ground It was not its strength but his own fore-going weakness that made him fall It was not heavy but it came upon the back of many other loads and so oppressed him But something had been said to this also For holy Job was in the same condition and far worse one messenger did tread upon the heels of an other to bring him tidings of his misery and yet he was patient though he himself likewise was in his own body most sadly afflicted We have the same grounds of comfort that he had and abundance more than was known in those younger times And when one cause of trouble falls upon the neck of another we can add one reason likewise unto another and so be comforted For our troubles can never be so many as the causes of our consolation are Yea one single reason of those that I have propounded will answer all Do we not know very well that all friends are mortal Then it can be no new thing if we well consider it for two or three to die after we have lost one But the loss of one doth rather mind us of the mortality of all And doth not God govern the world in the death of the last as well as of the first Then there is no less wisdom and goodness in it when many die than when one He that can solidly comfort himself in the death of one will not be immoderately troubled for the loss of more If we let our grief indeed work under-ground while nothing of it appears if our hearts be loaded with it though our eyes look not heavily before others then it is no wonder if it do at last break forth When the heart is over-charged and can find no other way to ease it self But if we take a course to comfort our hearts at the very first and make them truly contented or if we let not the grief settle it self but labour to dislodge it then we shall be the better disposed to bear such another cross with the like patience For then a new trouble doth not come upon the other but only follows after it it doth not add to the former but only comes in its stead it doth not augment but only renew our grief We should not be the more troubled because we understand our trouble XIV And now is it not time to conclude these questions and to say to your selves Why should not reason do that which little or no reason can do The more we are men shall we be the less in peace and cry like children Nay children weep while they see their Parents put into the Grave and within a day or two they forget their sorrows why cannot we do so also Though they know not their loss yet they know not the reasons neither why they should not be discontented for their loss Though they have little understanding of their sufferings yet they have as little knowledge of our comforts and supports And as for brute creatures you see that they make a doleful noise for the loss of their young a very short while and then they remember it no more Some of the people of Cous if I forget not used at the age of seventy years either to kill their Parents or pine them to death and to rejoyce much at it They though that they had lived long enough and that it was both a misery to themselves and a great burden to their children to have them continue any longer The Caspians also and some of the people of old Spain had the like custom which we well call inhumane and barbarous But why cannot understanding teach us that which want of understanding taught them Why should Barbarism make them rejoyce at what they did themselves and Christianity make us sad at what is done by God and the order of things St. Hierome reports that in his time there was at Rome a man who had had twenty Wives marryed to a woman who had had two and twenty Husbands There was great expectations which of them should die first and when the man buried her his neighbours crowned him with Lawrel and caused him to bear a bough of Palm in his hand in token of a Victory at his wives funerals It seems that men can sport at death if they list and laugh at that which makes so many cry Why then cannot reason make us moderately sad to bear that which humour and fancy can make men not to lament at all Why cannot our Religion do more with us than the people or our friends who it is like can laugh us sometimes out of our sorrows If I have not said too much in this argument I have some confidence that I have not said too little And indeed I have said more than I first intended and so much that if any have the patience to read it through me thinks the very length of the discourse should make them forget their sorrows and by thinking so long upon another thing they should not remember what they thought upon before One soul is scarce big enough to hold all these considerations and the thoughts of grief also Here are so many that they are able to thrust sorrow out of doors by their multitude if not by their strength and force And yet notwithstanding I must detain you a little longer before I give your thoughts leave to turn themselves to other things For I am of the mind that all these considerations will only asswage the grief and pricking of the wound but will not quite heal it and take away its putrefaction I shall therefore commend two or three things for the pressing out all the filthy matter for the closing of the sore and to make the soul perfectly whole and sound SECT VIII Some other things are proposed for the perfect cure of the soul The first of which is deadness to the world and the casting out false opinions The second is the changing of our sorrow into another kind The third is the Life of our Lord Jesus I. It is not their death but the life of something else that troubles us BE dead to all things and thou wilt not be offended that they die Mortifie thy spirit to the world and all things that are in it and when thou hast left them it will seem no wonder that they leave thee Think with thy self often that thy friends are dead that thou seest them carryed to the grave that thou beholdest worms crawling out of their eyes and mouth and try how thou art able to bear that thought Think that he or she that lies in thy bed by thy side is as cold as a stone think that thou embracest the carkass of thy dear friend and ask thy soul how it can brook it Think thus often and though thy soul may start at the first yet at last it will be
patient That little sadness will banish and chase away all the greater that else would seize on thee hereafter There will be little to do when death comes if thou constantly dost this Thy soul will be so loose from them that thou wilt not give a shrike none will hear the strings crack when you are separated Death will not be a breaking of your society but a fair and easie untying of it Nothing will happen to you but what you have looked for long before and you shall be able to say This is not the first time that I have seen my dear friend dead Yea think with thy self that thou seest thy own body laid in the grave and that thou feelest thy self as cold as a clod of Earth Think that thou art turned into rottenness and dirt and that thou art forgotten by thy neighbours If thy soul can endure these thoughts then why should it be troubled at the death of another This is a kind of death to be so separated from thy body in thy thoughts It is all one not to be in the body and not to feel that thou art in it Raise thy mind then up toward heavenly things fix thy thoughts on God and the life to come think that thou seest thy self in heaven among the Saints of God and while thy soul is there it is not in thy body here below This kind of death differs from that which will be hereafter in this only that then thou wilt be more perfectly out of thy body But if there be no trouble in this separation which thou now makest even whilest thou art in it There will be far less trouble one would think quite to part with it and to get from it We must not let false opinions live And the way to be dead to these earthly things is to change our opinion of them and to see them to be what indeed they are empty and unsatisfying changeable and unconstant Of this I have spoken before in the former discourse but seeing in it a thing so great and fundamental to our contentment let me again present you with it We are the cause of our own grief by magnifying the things of the world to such a value that the loss of them shall be worth so many tears We think that they are happy who are rich and honourable though they be never so wicked and unskilful how to live 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. L. 1 cap. 19. We presently cry up a man for wise and what not Who to use Arrianus his phrase is preferred by Caesar though it be but to be Groom of his close-stool And on the contrary we despise vertue if it be in a thread-bare coat and count him a fool who is unfortunate No wonder then that we cry and whine like children when we lose any of these worldly things seeing we think our selves more happy than men in the enjoyment of them We think that we are undone when we part with that which we have such an high opinion of and there is no way to make us think that all is safe but by altering of that foolish opinion We expect what cannot be and will not be content with what may easily be We cannot make the things of this world to be still and quiet but may make our selves so and the way to that quietness is well to consider their inconstancy and that our happiness is in something better It was a good rule which Pythagoras gave to all his Schollars and is the same that I would have you learn 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Do not walk in the high way i. e. Do not follow the common opinions be not led by vulgar and popular apprehensions Rectifie the ordinary conceits which you have carelesly entertained of things and judge of them as they are in themselves and not as they are reputed of If we would do thus then that which is the cause of our sorrow would be the cause of our tranquillity because nothing hath left us but that which we knew would not stay with us We mourn now because things are so inconstant but then we should not mourn because we knew them to be inconstant If we could make it good that any of these things are ours then I might avouch it that they would never have left us But if they were not ours why are we offended that God doth what he will with his own And besides shall we who are so inconstant oblige all things besides our selves to constancy Shall we whose desires are so restless and uncertain expect that all things but only we should be stable and quiet No let us look into our selves and we shall find so much difficulty to settle them that we shall not wonder that other things are unsettled And again if things be so mutable why should we not think as I have already said that they will one day change to what we would have them But suppose they should what are we the better If our opinion be not turned too we shall be as much afraid to lose them again seeing they are so unconstant as now we are desirous to have them by the benefit of their inconstancy We must therefore alter our esteem of things now else we shall only change our trouble but not be rid of it when things are changed Adeo nihil est miserum nisi cùm putes c. So certain it is that nothing is miserable but when we think it is so and that nothing will make us happy unless we think that we are happy And we had better think so now than stay to be taught this lesson by the dear experience of a great many troubles Let thine estate be never so prosperous yet if thine heart be unmortified thou wilt never be the nearer but rather the further off from settlement For they that have the greatest abundance are the soonest disturbed by every trisle because they are not used to have any thing go contrary to their humour But if thou wilt take any comfort from the unconstancy of things let it be this That if thou thinkest thy self therefore unfortunate because those things are gone that were joyful then thou mayst think thy self happy enough seeing the things that are unpleasant are going away also And think I beseech you once more and be of this opinion That there is nothing better in this world to thee than thy self As long therefore as thou hast thy self why shouldst thou be troubled especially if thou thy self thinkest never the worse of thy self because thou art poor and destitute of friends For these take away nothing of thy self nor can any thing in the world deprive thee of thy self And as Boethius well saith This is the condition of humane nature that it then only excels all things here when it knows it self but when it doth not it is below the very Beasts For it is natural for them to be ignorant but for a man it is the basest vice especially
when he is ignorant of himself There was a Fable among the Heathens which wise men understood to contain in it great Philosophy In the midst of this sad discourse it will please you perhaps if I relate it and it will please you a great deal more for to learn and live by it After Jupiter had made the world he thought that men would not be restrained from sin without rewards and punishments and so he made two great barrels the one full of good things the other full of bad to be sent down among men as there was occasion Pandora being very desirous to know what was in these barrels did one day broach them and all the good things flew out towards heaven and all the bad towards hell Hope only and Fear remained in the bottom of these Casks the former in that of Evil things and the latter in that of Good When this was done Jupiter threw down these empty Tubs to the earth and all mortals ran at the rareness of the sight to see what they could find in them Some looked into the one and some into the other and though both of them were empty yet they thought verily that the one was full of good and the other full of evil And ever since it came to pass that here below we have nothing but a fancy or conceit of Good mixed with fear and jealousie and a meer conceit of Evil with some hope in the compound of it The Morral of it is this That the things of this world are but empty Goods and inconsiderable Evils They are our own opinions that trouble us with the shadow of evil and that flatter us on the other side with a fair shew of Good All substantiall Good is in heaven and all dreadfull misery is in hell If we go to heaven we are well enough whatsoever we lose if we fall into sin and so into hell we cannot be well though we should enjoy all the world and while we stay here below there is no good thing we enjoy but is accompanied with fear and no evil we suffer but is attended with Hope And there is no hope like that which is laid up in Heaven of enjoying a bliss sincere and pure without any allay at all Let us turn our minds then toward these heavenly things which they did but dream of in the dark ages of the world Let us heartily believe the Gospel which hath brought to light eternal life And then we shall think our selves happy enough if we lose not those things and perhaps the death of our friends and such like crosses befall us that we may not lose them The Almighty Goodness draws our thoughts and affections by these means from transitory comforts and calls them up thither where we hope our Friends are arrived See saith he here is your Home here is your resting place here is the immortal Inheritance that never fades away If you love your selves mind the way hither and suffer nothing to turn you out of it Whatsoever cross befalls you take it up and carry it along with you Let it only spur you to make the more hast to Eternal joyes Where when we are once seated aloft amidst those glorious objects which then shall incompass us with what contempt as an ingenious Person * M. Malh to the Princess of Conty speaks shall we look down upon this Morsel of earth which men have divided into so many Kingdoms or upon this drop of water whereof so many Seas are composed How shall we smile to see men so busie about the necessities of a Body to which we no sooner give one thing but it asks another and so disquieted through a weakness of spirit which daily troubles them as to unwish that to day which the day before they wished for Enter if it be possible into these generous thoughts before hand Begin to speak of the World as you will do when you have forsaken it Acknowledge it to be a place where you must daily lose something till you have lost all And by these and the like Meditations let your soul assuredly conceive that having had its Original from Heaven it is one of the number of those which must one day return thither In the mean time when the daies of Mourning come and sorrow will not be denyed its place let me recommend this advice to every man As soon as it is possible II. Our tears should be kept for that which is the cause of death and all our tears Turn thy sorrow for thy friend into sorrow for thy sins Remember that thy tears may be due to some other thing and the cure of that will cure all thy other griefs If thou art not a Christian then it is thy duty to mourn neither for one thing nor other but only to bewail thy self Let the dead bury the dead as our Saviour said do thou presently follow after thy Lord with tears Take no care of funerals think of no earthly thing but only how thou mayest be a Christian And if thou art so then thou oughtest to rejoyce that thy sins are pardoned and that thou hast not the greatest cause of grief and this joy sure will swallow up all thy sorrows There is scarce any thing so considerable in our bodies that is seen as our tears for they are the most notable expressions of what is in our hearts The hands as Ant. Guevara observes do work the feet do walk the tongue speaks but it is the heart only that weeps The eyes are but the spunges of the heart through which its affections are drained and dried up An afflicted heart hath neither hands to labour nor feet to walk nor can it find a tongue to speak but tears are all that it hath to tell you what it wants And therefore we ought to reserve these for some greater thing than our dead friends which our heart ought much to be affected withall As our Saviour said to the women of Jerusalem when he was going to the most cruel sufferings so might our friends say to us when they are a dying Weep not for us but weep for your selves if you be dead while you are alive Mourn more than you do if you have not yet mourned for your sins and amended them But if you have then rejoyce in the favour of God and bless him for his Son Jesus who is better to thee than ten Sons or all thy friends which thou lamentest Are our sins dead as well as our friends have we buried them in the grave of our Lord are we risen again to an heavenly life Let us go then to God and pray to him and praise him and this will give us ease But if we be troubled for sin then sure we shall not add another sin by immoderate sorrow and forgetfulness of Gods goodness If it be sin we hate then bitter complaints and discontents must all be hated Would you indispose your self to pray to praise God and meditate in his
sacred Word Would you render your self unfit to receive the Sacrament of his most blessed body and blood If not then mourn but so much as will not hinder any of these and you have leave to mourn as much as you please Stop but here and there is no man will lay any restraints upon you But then how short your mourning must be you will soon guess and the Sun must not go down upon your grief no more than it must upon your wrath But if you take no great care whether you disturb your souls or no then you have most reason to mourn for that carelesness and neglect Go then and bewail your unkindness to God your unthankfulness for his mercies and unbelief of his Gospel for you can never take your hearts in a better time than when they are so sad and inclined to be sorrowfull Tell them that now they are very well disposed for a necessary business and bid them look if there be not something else to bewail that is more considerable Ask thy self hast thou not deserved this and ten times more Wilt thou add another sin when thou shouldst cease all sins Hast thou not been careless of seeking God Hast thou not foolishly wasted thy precious time And art thou not troubled at all for that Yea art thou now impatient as if God dealt hardly with thee And wilt thou spend more time badly when thou art taught by the death of thy dear friend how short it is It is most incongruous thus to bewail the death of a child or acquaintance when thou art like to die thy self both body and soul And when thou hast mourned for thy sins thou wilt be taught thereby how little thou oughtest to mourn for thy losses For even our tears for sin must not be immoderate and therefore much less must we dare to let them flow in abundance for our losses So you know the great Apostle commands the Corinthians to comfort him that had been guilty of a great sin and receive him again into the Church now that he repented left perhaps such an one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow 2 Cor. 2.7 I wish all those who are ready to destroy themselves with grief would seriously consider this that we may not over-load our hearts with grief for our sins themselves which are the causes of all other sorrows We cannot please the Devil better than by discontent He would fain oppress every good man with some passion or other let us take heed how we joyn with him against our selves If we have left his service that is enough to provoke him If we have bid defiance to his pleasures this doth incense him and we must expect that he will endeavour to overcome us with griefs The Devil is mad against all good men and therefore let all those who have irritated him against them beware how they now prove cowards and execute his vengeance for him with their own hands Let us take heed as Photius excellently expresseth it lest we be good at stirring up and provoking the envy and rage of our adversary but naught at resisting and overcoming him by patience and perseverance to the end 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 But if we must needs weep for the loss of something here let it be for the afflictions of the people of God Let us mourn to see the Church sit like a widdow in her black garments Let it pitty us to see the blood of Gods servants shed like water upon the ground If our own sins do not trouble us let us weep to see the wickedness of the world and let our eyes run down with tears to think that men do not keep Gods Law Some such channel we should cut for our tears and not let them spend themselves on this fashion about our own personal troubles This is a method both to stop our tears and likewise to make them useful to us while they run It is a way to ease us of our present grief and of all others also We shall exchange that sorrow that would have troubled us for a great deal of joy and comfort Whereas our worldly grief would have left the heart sad this will leave it light and merry III. The life of our Lord Jesus gives us the greatest comfort against death Believe throughly that the Lord Jesus lives and so thou maist both expect a resurrection from the dead and likewise hope for comfort from him when thou art left sad and desolate The body it self doth not die any more than corn doth which dies that it may live and spring up again with large gain and advantage Are we loth to throw the corn into the ground and do we not patiently expect till the harvest comes Why should we then bury our friends with so many tears seeing they are but laid in the Womb of their mother again that by the power of God they may have a better birth The Heathen could say much to comfort themselves but they knew not this comfort for indeed they were rather contented than comforted Those that did think themselves most wise and judged that they had the best supports did only dream that the soul make take another body and shift its place at several times But we know that there will be a time when even our scattered ashes will fly into one anothers embraces again and a new life will breath into our dust and make it stand upon its feet And then in the mean time if our condition be never so sad and we be left at alone why do we not solace our selves in the great compassion of our High Priest who hath a feeling of all our miseries which we endure Can we expect that ever he should love us more than when we are like unto him in sufferings We should be so far from being sad at what befalls us that we should think if our condition was a little worse we should be more dear unto him than now we are when nothing extraordinary is hapned to us No man can be alone as long as he lives who hath said I will not leave you comfortless like fatherless children I will come to you Did not he bid his Disciples to be well content when he himself dyed Did he not leave his peace with them and bid them that their hearts should not be troubled And what is the death of one of our friends to the departure of the best friend to the world that ever was from his little flock of friends Did not Christ know what he said when he was going to die Did he advise them not to be troubled when it was impossible that they should be otherwise And if they were not to be troubled then I am sure we have less reason to be troubled now both because we have a less loss to bewail and we have a stronger and more excellent comfort against our loss Our friends are as much below him as his state in the grave was beneath that to which